Taro Arai


April 4th, 2004

Dear Journal,

A new student joined our class today. Nakai something. He looked around for a few minutes before settling down next to Misha and Shizune. The look on his face reminded me of how I must've looked when I first came to this place.

I was going to say something but Misha started questioning him the moment he sat down. It was wonderful, just hearing her talk. I was going to ask him if he needed someone to show him around, but she seems to have covered that.

Whatever, he looks like a dick, maybe she's doing me a favour taking care of him.

Until next time journal,
Taro Arai

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April 5th, 2004

Dear Journal,

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I tried as hard as I could, but I just couldn't get that picture of them out of my head.

Why does he get to talk with her? All he did was come to school one day and she was all over him like a rabid dog. I wish she would see me that way. It's been over a year since I got here, and the only time she's ever said anything to me was when she asked me to borrow a pen.

Whatever,  I heard he's got some heart problem so he'll probably be dead before the end of the month.

Slightly aggrivated,

Taro Arai

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April 12th, 2004

I can't figure it out. What makes him so much better than me? "oooohh, I can use my left arm!" Yeah? What good is it if you can't do anything without keeling over in pain? At least I can still do things without worrying about my heart.

I'm really pissed journal. It's been a week and all that's happened is that Misha's gotten closer to him. Shizune seems to like him too. And that burnt girl down the row from me.

Why are all the girls attracted to HIM? Why not ME?! I really don't get it.

I'm too tired to think any more on it. Maybe I'll get a good nights' sleep tonight.

Really tired,

Taro Arai

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April 13th, 2004

Dear Journal,

I had a really good sleep yesterday. Woke up feeling amazing, went to class feeling like I could take on the world(single-handedly, heh).

I saw Hisao practising sign-language with Misha. Shizune wasn't around today, must've been busy with student council stuff.

I'M SO EXCITED! This means I still have a chance with ~MISHA~! I was feeling so good that I almost said something to her today. Then I wimped out and asked her if I could borrow her eraser.

Anyway, I had an awesome day today. I'm going to sleep now.

Sweet dreams,

Taro Arai

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May 3rd, 2004

Dear Journal,

It's been a while since I wrote anything. I've been feeling pretty awesome lately up 'til now. In class today I couldn't help notice how distraught Misha looked. Maybe she does like him after all.

I'm going to have trouble sleeping again, I just know it. Whatever, I still have her eraser. I kiss it evey night before I go to bed. Maybe this is as close as I'll ever get to her.

I'm too tired and thinking about that is kinda depressing so I'm going to sleep. Assuming I ever get to sleep.

Frustrated,

Taro Arai

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May 28th, 2004

Life is passing like a flash. We've had a lot of schoolwork lately and there's so much homework, I haven't had a whole lot of time to myself these past few weeks.

Whatever brief moments I've had, I've put into following Misha, making sure she deoesn't get hurt(or if she does, being there to defend her from that asshole, Hisao Nakai).

All I've really noticed is that she's so tired whenever Shizune isn't around. It's like she draws energy from Shizune's presence, and completely drains whenever she's away. It makes sense, Shizune is like an infinite source of willpower.

Anyway, I saw her crying earlier today. I was stunned, literally paralyzed. My entire body felt about as useless as my left arm has all this time. I couldn't move at the one time I wanted to be there for her! DAMMIT!

Anyway, I'm so tired lately. I've been sleeping pretty well because of it. I woke up yesterday with my arm twisted behind my back. My shoulder still hurts from sleeping like that.

Lights out,

Taro Arai

PS. Misha cut her hair. it's shoter now, less curly. I'm not sure I like it. maybe I'll get used to it though.

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June 12th, 2004

Dear Journal,

Today I made a horrifying discovery.

Misha, the only girl I've ever loved, the only girl I've ever seen cry(other than my mother when I wound up in the hospital) isn't interested in Hisao. She likes Shizune. I can't believe I didn't see this before. The hints are right there in the woodwork!

Every time Shizune's around, Misha gets so excited. Every time they're apart, she's deflated.

Unfortunately, it gets worse. Hisao also likes Shizune, that's why he was learning sign language.

I need to sleep this over. Maybe I'll think of something tomorrow.

Depressed,

Taro Arai

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June 28th, 2004

Not really happy. Exams are over, I didn't to so great on them, guess I've been so busy thinking about Misha that I forgot to study for them. I guess I figured I could breeze through them after all the work we did last month.

Anyway, Everyone's packing their stuff, Misha's leaving for America to  univeristy and learn more about sign language. I think she said she wanted to teach it later.

I've been pretty miserable the last few weeks. Knowing I'll never be able to hold Misha in my hands really messed me up.

Actually, I've been thinking about going to the roof and jumping over the rails. But I came to my senses pretty quickly once I got up there.

I've got a life, and that's what matters. Maybe I won't get the girl, but I've still got passing grades. I'm going to head back home and ask my dad if I can work at his restaurant. At the least I'll have free meals whenever I want.

Maybe I'll even see a pretty girl while I'm there.

Uncertain,

Taro Arai