- You hold the hug for a very long time. You aren’t sure what to really do; you aren’t really even sure how you feel about this. Something in your mind screams that this is wrong; this is bad, that this is the very motherfucking thing you thought you should die over just moments ago. You should not be enjoying this. You should not enjoy the hands clutching at you tightly, the desperation and need in his voice, the control you know you have over him.
- But you do enjoy it.
- More than that, you motherfucking LOVE it.
- Besides, Karkat needs you. You can’t leave your best friend all hanging like that. That’s motherfucking rude. That’s not something a best friend would do.
- You aren’t sure if he is ever going to let go. You aren’t sure you want him to. You could stand for this moment to last forever. This is all you want. This is everything you want.
- Except, no it’s not.
- You want MORE.
- There’s so much more potential, so much more to motherfucking explore, especially since you aren’t gonna hold yourself back anymore. But first you have to address this moment and pull away from it no matter how much you want to stay. Gotta control yourself here.
- You manage to push motherfucking away just a bit and Karkat looks up at you with a face of both curiosity and worry. You feel his hands brush up against you lightly, as if he may grab back onto you again. You smile, brushing a strand of hair from his face and say:
- “Maybe you should sleep here today brother.”
- His eyes widen and he nods enthusiastically, grabbing onto you tightly once more. Heh, you should probably try and find a way to cut some of the branches off that seed in Karkat's mind. If he's this motherfucking clingy now, who knows how far it will go. He might even need you to completely take care of him. Not that taking full control and care of him sounds horrible. You would be the best caretaker of your best friend, but you think there should be a limit to the amount of control you try and take over Karkat. You gotta leave some of Karkat there, don't you?
- Well, it may be worth trying once to see, but yea, you gotta learn to control that seed. And all of your powers really. And how to take good care of Karkat. And balance the control you have over him. As long as some of Karkat is left, it should be motherfucking ok though! Besides, not like you can even get rid of the seed, you might as well enjoy it. Karkat enjoys it too! You look down and even as his head is buried into your chest you can see a small smile. Isn't that a motherfucking miracle there? You only recall one other time Karkat smiled.
- ….It was when you two became moirails officially. Are you still moirails? Of course you are, nothing is threatening your pale relationship. There is still balance, there is still pity, and there is still improvement and calming down. In fact, there is a lot more motherfucking pity for your best bro right now. Yes, this relationship is still pale as fuck.
- You nudge Karkat enough to un-bury his face, but his hands still don't let go. You chuckle and tell him that he should probably get all ready to go to sleep. You can't imagine he would want to sleep in such uncomfortable jeans and his shirt, but he tells you that he is ready and he doesn't have to anything. Does he really not want to let go that badly? You pry his hands off with some resistance and chide him, saying it wouldn't be good to get his clothes all dirty. He still refuses, almost outright yelling at you to fuck off and let him sleep in his clothes. Listening to his familiar anger is comforting, it means you know you haven't gone too far. However, you still don't think your best bro should sleep in clothes. You mention that he'd have to walk back to his hive covered in slime, or worse, in your clothing if he doesn't. He scowls and growls, but reluctantly removes his shirt and pants, leaving only his boxers.
- He catches you staring and yells at you a bit more. He looks much smaller and much more frail and vulnerable without his clothes, but you immediately push that thought out. You also strip down to your boxers and coax Karkat to the recuperacoon.
- Once inside, he grabs hold of you once again, however, this time is different. He's shaking down to his very bones. You ask him what's wrong.
- “I don't want to go to sleep. I don't want any more of the dreams.”
- You shoosh him, telling him that they are only dreams and that you are right here, that he isn't alone now. He seems much calmer after that, soon drifting off to sleep. Almost immediately, he curls in on himself, and starts to shake again. You think you can see his lips mouthing 'Gamzee' and maybe 'Where are you?'. Ok, you definitely should help your best bro motherfucking out here. But first you just watch Karkat sleep a bit. It's almost entrancing.
- You pry your focus away from Karkat's body and focus on his mind and watch the branches from the seed slowly grow and curl around Karkat's mind even more. Maybe you could just sort of... cut it? You try cutting off one of the branches and it comes off. You think you feel Karkat relax just a little bit against you. Well shit, you could just cut the branch, maybe you could cut other fears out, or maybe, just maybe..
- You could cut the seed out.
- You could put an end to Karkat's nightmares, you could make sure you never crossed the line, you could let this never happen again.
- It was then you stopped that line of thought. You remembered that you put that seed in there on purpose. You didn't want it taken out, and you didn't even want it controlled. You wanted it to consume his mind until you possessed his mind. But it was still not enough. You smeared Karkat's fear that you didn't need him across his mind before you forced yourself to go to sleep and let Karkat dream and the branches snake their way even more into his mind.
- You wake up the next night with Karkat still clutching you. You try not to disturb him but he is so close to you that he blinks awake when you move just a little bit. He immediately jumps out of the recuperacoon and goes searching about the room. Trying to find his clothes maybe? You watch him pass by his own clothes though, until he finds a clean pair of clothes for you and rushes over to you, offering it. You hesitantly take it finding it weird and wondering what is up with Karkat before what you did last night flashes into your mind.
- Oh god. What the fuck came over you?
- Instantly after you take your clothes Karkat heads to the refrigerator and starts getting food out. You are still in shock from not only what you did last night, but how Karkat is acting now that you just kind of stare at him and watch him work. You haven't even put on clothes yet. Damn, you never knew he was good at motherfucking preparing food. He's so small. You want to just go over there and hold him, touch him, and when was he right in fucking front of you?
- He offers you a plate of food before his eyes widen and he sets the plate down and asks for the clothes back. You aren't sure why so you hand them to him before he starts to DRESS you and oh god what is he doing and you keep picking up the littlest touches of his skin on yours. Are you blushing? You think you may be blushing. Why are you blushing?
- After he dresses you he offers the food once more. You take it and sit down before beckoning him to sit down. He obliges and stares at you with more desperation in his eyes than you saw after he killed the troll trying to kill you. This time though, there is no latching, in fact, he seems to be deliberately holding himself back. You sometimes watch his hand slightly reach toward you before he pulls it back. You take his hand and kiss it softly, telling him that he doesn't need to be afraid, you aren't going anywhere. You then offer him food, and when he seems reluctant to take it, you force it in his hand. Both of you eat in silence and once you are finished, Karkat takes the dish from you and cleans it.
- Karkat is still in his boxers.