Untitled

>go to London, England for business

>go to a rental car kiosk to rent a car

>"hello, I'd like to rent a car"

>"OI WOT DID U SAY"

>"I'd like to rent a car please"

>"A CAR? YOU MUST MEAN AN AUTOMATED ROLLINGHAM"

>"yeah sure"

>he gives me the keys to a car

>get to the car

>it has two brake pedals and one doesn't even work

>can't understand how to get it moving

>go to return the car

>the guy refuses and says some gibberish on how it's supposed to be like that

>decide to take the bus instead, these roads seem dangerous with everybody driving on the wrong side anyways

>get to my hotel, there is a bar across the street and my room isn't ready yet so I decide to stop there and see if I can catch up on the broncos game

>take a seat, everybody is watching some guy playing some wierd golf/baseball hybrid

>bartender yells "OI M8 WOT WILL IT BE"

>"a beer"

>"A WOT NOW?"

>"a beer"

>"A WOT?"

>point to a guy across the bar holding a beer

>"what he's having"

>"OH YOU MEAN A FIZZLY WIZZLY WOBBLY POP"

>"yeah that's what I meant"

>he pours me a beer

>it's warm

>tell the bartender it's warm

>"IZ DERE A PROBLEM WIT THAT M8"

>everybody is staring at me

>"n-no"

>go back to drinking my beer

>ask the bartender if he could put the football game on

>"OH YEA THE MANCHESTER UNITED GAME IS ON"

>he turns a soccer game on

>decide I have had enough of this backwards place

>finish my beer

>give it the applause it deserves

>everybody stares at me

>the room is dead silent

>slowly back out of the bar and run to my hotel room