I don't know. I don't know what I was doing.
I'm sorry you think I'm a slut. I probably am.
I really feel horrible that you regret losing your virginity to me.
I don't know how I let this happen. I don't know what I'm doing and I haven't for a long time, and I'm sorry I've drug you through the mud, you who loved me more than anyone and stayed loyal and took care of me, while I was being stupid.
I wish I could be your friend, but I know that won't ever be an option after everything.
I would love to feed ducks with you every day.
I didn't mean to have sex with Colin. I was upset and he got me drunk and fucked me and I had a panic attack and told hi to leave and then never talked to him after that - ever.
I know you don't care and probably don't believe me.

 I'm so happy you got off drugs. I'm almost off too. I woke up in tears today and couldn't stop thinking about what happened and how I ruined everything, and I told Conner about how you told me you texted him before and he just now checked your messages. That's why he was replying.
I'm not trying to start a fight. I didn't even know he was going to text you until it was too late. I was in the shower.

I wish that I had believed that you would be my friend, and wish that I wasn't such a fucking cunt. I wish that I had done everything differently, and I wish that you could still be in my life.

You've known me for a long time. I don't feel like a bad person, Cody, but I do right now.

I told Conner that I was going to find your black shirt and leave it at your house or work soon. I wasn't going to see you because I know you'd yell at me, I was just going to give it to you. I miss you.

Here's your closure. You're so so much better off without me. And I'm so sorry I wasted so many years of your life. I hope you can take good memories from it, at least. I'm so sorry.

I never looked at the messages you sent him. He wouldn't let me. He wouldn't tell me what you said. But he was angry. I didn't want to know. I was so afraid of hearing something that would make me hate you because I want to keep my love for you as long as possible.

I'm really, really sorry. I wish I had done things differently. If I had just said yes when you wanted to be my friend none of this would have happened... But I was so fucking stupid and was so afraid that you would stop seeing me. I felt like a knew what would happen. And trying to stop what I feared most made what I feared most happen. And I'm so sorry.

I hope you can hate me so you don't wake up every single morning with such sadness and regret and complete heartbreak like I do, and will.

I'm sorry. I'll say I love you for the last time.

You can block me now.