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  1.  
  2.  
  3. The Internet Movie Script Database (IMSDb)
  4.  
  5.  
  6. The web's largest
  7. movie script resource!
  8.  
  9.  
  10. Search
  11.  
  12.  
  13.  
  14.  
  15.  
  16.  
  17.  
  18.  
  19.  
  20.  
  21.  
  22. FOR EDUCATIONAL USE ONLY
  23.  
  24.  
  25.  
  26.  
  27.  
  28.  
  29.  
  30.  
  31.  
  32.  
  33.  
  34.  
  35.  
  36.  
  37.  
  38. SWINGERS
  39.  
  40. by
  41.  
  42. Jon Favreau
  43.  
  44.  
  45.  
  46.  
  47.  
  48.  
  49.  
  50.  
  51.  
  52.  
  53.  
  54.  
  55.  
  56.  
  57.  
  58.  
  59.  
  60.  
  61.  
  62.  
  63.  
  64. Dec. 13, 1994
  65.  
  66. Third draft
  67.  
  68.  
  69.  
  70.  
  71.  
  72.  
  73.  
  74.  
  75.  
  76. 1 EXT. HOLLYWOOD - NIGHT 1
  77.  
  78. The soundtrack opens with Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the
  79. Moon".
  80.  
  81. A HELICOPTER SHOT OF THE L.A. basin.
  82.  
  83. The pool of golden light disintegrates into the thousands of
  84. points which constitute it as we rapidly draw closer to the
  85. city.
  86.  
  87. We are just above the tops of the highest buildings as we
  88. approach Hollywood Boulevard. Below is neon and the icy
  89. thrust of search lights rotating on the corner of Hollywood
  90. and Vine.
  91.  
  92. We continue west, then quickly north.
  93.  
  94. There is the momentary appearance of the moonlit HOLLYWOOD
  95. sign as we pass the blinking red beacon of the Capital
  96. Records building and drop into Franklin avenue and over the
  97. 101.
  98.  
  99. Architectural remnants of Hollywood's past whip up. We are
  100. heading east at treetop level. A warm glow in the distance
  101. quickly grows into a modest commercial strip which includes
  102. cafes, bookstores, and a theater.
  103.  
  104. We drop to eye level as we spy through the plate glass
  105. showcase window of the "Bourgeois Pig" coffeehouse, which
  106. holds the translucent reflection of the full moon.
  107.  
  108. A cigarette wedged between knuckles smoulders. MIKE takes
  109. the last drag with great effort, then crushes it out. He
  110. sits in the window sprawled across a red velvet couch that
  111. once perfectly complemented a faux spanish foyer.
  112.  
  113. MATCH CUT TO:
  114.  
  115. 2 EXT. "BOURGEOIS PIG" COFFEEHOUSE - COUCHES AND TABLE IN FRONT 2
  116. WINDOW - NIGHT
  117.  
  118. ROB sits down next to Mike, pouring himself some tea.
  119.  
  120. MIKE
  121. And what if I don't want to give up on
  122. her?
  123.  
  124. ROB
  125. You don't call.
  126.  
  127. MIKE
  128. But you said I shouldn't call if I
  129. wanted to give up on her.
  130.  
  131. ROB
  132. Right.
  133.  
  134. MIKE
  135. So I don't call either way.
  136.  
  137. ROB
  138. Right.
  139.  
  140. MIKE
  141. So what's the difference?
  142.  
  143. ROB
  144. The only difference between giving up and
  145. not giving up is if you take her back
  146. when she wants to come back. See, you
  147. can't do anything to make her want to
  148. come back. You can only do things to
  149. make her not want to come back.
  150.  
  151. MIKE
  152. So the only difference is if I forget
  153. about her or pretend to forget about her.
  154.  
  155. ROB
  156. Right.
  157.  
  158. MIKE
  159. Well that sucks.
  160.  
  161. ROB
  162. It sucks.
  163.  
  164. MIKE
  165. So it's almost a retroactive decision.
  166. So I could, like, let's say, forget about
  167. her and when she comes back make like I
  168. just pretended to forget about her.
  169.  
  170. ROB
  171. Right...or more likely the opposite.
  172.  
  173. MIKE
  174. Right... Wait, what do you mean?
  175.  
  176. ROB
  177. I mean first you'll pretend not to care,
  178. not call - whatever, and then,
  179. eventually, you really won't care.
  180.  
  181. MIKE
  182. Unless she comes back first.
  183.  
  184. ROB
  185. Ah, see, that's the thing. Somehow they
  186. don't come back until you really don't
  187. care anymore.
  188.  
  189. MIKE
  190. There's the rub.
  191.  
  192. ROB
  193. There's the rub.
  194.  
  195. MIKE
  196. Thanks, man. Sorry we always talk about
  197. the same thing all the time...
  198.  
  199. ROB
  200. Hey man, don't sweat it.
  201.  
  202. MIKE
  203. ...It's just that you've been there.
  204. Your advice really helps.
  205.  
  206. ROB
  207. No problem.
  208.  
  209. MIKE
  210. Rob, I just want you to know, you're the
  211. only one I can talk to about her.
  212.  
  213. ROB
  214. Thanks. Thanks, man.
  215.  
  216. DISSOLVE TO:
  217.  
  218. 3 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 3
  219.  
  220. Close up on answering machine. Mike pushes the button.
  221.  
  222. ANSWERING MACHINE
  223. (synthesized voice)
  224. Hello, you have five messages.
  225.  
  226. Mike's eyes light up. He paces in anticipation as the tape
  227. rewinds.
  228.  
  229. ANSWERING MACHINE
  230. (male voice)
  231. Hey, baby. It's Trent. I hope you're
  232. feeling better about your old girlfriend.
  233. I hope my advice helped...
  234.  
  235. Mike fast-forwards to next message.
  236.  
  237. ANSWERING MACHINE
  238. (synthesized voice)
  239. Skipping message.
  240. (male voice)
  241. Whatsup, Mike. If you want to talk some
  242. more about Michelle...
  243. (synthesized voice)
  244. Skipping message.
  245. (female voice)
  246. Mike, it's Chris. Feeling better yet
  247. about...?
  248. (synthesized voice)
  249. Skipping message.
  250.  
  251. Tension grows with every inch of spooling tape. Did she
  252. leave a message?
  253.  
  254. ANSWERING MACHINE
  255. (female voice)
  256. Hi, Mike. Did she call yet? If she
  257. didn't then she doesn't deserve...
  258. (synthesized voice)
  259. Skipping message.
  260.  
  261. The last one. It's a long shot, but he's got the faith.
  262.  
  263. ANSWERING MACHINE
  264. (elderly female voice)
  265. Michael, this is Grandma. I want to know
  266. if you got the part on that television
  267. program. I told the whole family and
  268. they're very excited to know if...
  269. (synthesized voice)
  270. Skipping message. End of final message.
  271.  
  272. MIKE
  273. (lighting a cigarette,
  274. defeated)
  275. Shit.
  276.  
  277. ANSWERING MACHINE
  278. (synthesized voice)
  279. You have to put things in perspective.
  280.  
  281. MIKE
  282. (unfazed by the sentient
  283. appliance)
  284. I know, I know.
  285.  
  286. ANSWERING MACHINE
  287. (synthesized voice)
  288. You've been through worse.
  289.  
  290. MIKE
  291. You're right. I know.
  292.  
  293. ANSWERING MACHINE
  294. (synthesized voice)
  295. Ever since I've known you.
  296.  
  297. MIKE
  298. I don't know about that.
  299.  
  300. ANSWERING MACHINE
  301. (synthesized voice)
  302. Moving here from New York was much more
  303. of an adjustment than this.
  304.  
  305. MIKE
  306. It didn't feel that way.
  307.  
  308. ANSWERING MACHINE
  309. (synthesized voice)
  310. That's because it was a challenge. You
  311. has control over you're situation. It
  312. was hard, but you rose to it.
  313.  
  314. MIKE
  315. Okay. I'll think about that. Bye.
  316.  
  317. ANSWERING MACHINE
  318. (synthesized voice)
  319. You really should. Life, after all, is
  320. really just a series of challenges...
  321.  
  322. MIKE
  323. (growing irate)
  324. Enough. I've got to use the phone.
  325.  
  326. ANSWERING MACHINE
  327. (synthesized voice)
  328. Are you calling Her?
  329.  
  330. MIKE
  331. No. Stop, come on.
  332.  
  333. The LED goes black as the machine beeps off. Mike picks up
  334. the phone and hits autodial.
  335.  
  336. Machine beeps off. Phone rings again, then is answered.
  337.  
  338. TRENT
  339. (over phone)
  340. Hello?
  341.  
  342. MIKE
  343. S'up Trent?
  344.  
  345. TRENT
  346. Lemme get off the other line, baby.
  347.  
  348. We hear the clicks of call-waiting-hold limbo. The silence
  349. is interrupted.
  350.  
  351. ANSWERING MACHINE
  352. (synthesized voice over phone)
  353. You should call your Grandmother.
  354.  
  355. MIKE
  356. Shuddup.
  357.  
  358. TRENT
  359. (returning to line)
  360. That was Sue. We got two parties
  361. tonight. One's for a modeling agency.
  362.  
  363. MIKE
  364. I don't know...
  365.  
  366. TRENT
  367. Listen to me, baby, there are going to be
  368. beautiful babies there.
  369.  
  370. MIKE
  371. Trent, I don't feel like going out
  372. tonight. I got shit to do tomorrow...
  373.  
  374. TRENT
  375. Listen to you. I got an audition for a
  376. pilot at nine and I'm going. You gotta
  377. get out with some beautiful babies. You
  378. can't sit home thinking about her.
  379.  
  380. MIKE
  381. I don't know...
  382.  
  383. TRENT
  384. I don't know, I don't know- listen to
  385. you. We're gonna have fun tonight. We
  386. gotta get you out of that stuffy
  387. apartment.
  388.  
  389. MIKE
  390. We're gonna spend half the night driving
  391. around the Hills looking for this party
  392. and then leaving cause it sucks, then
  393. we're gonna look for this other party you
  394. heard about. But, Trent, all the parties
  395. and bars, they all suck. I spend half
  396. the night trying to talk to some girl
  397. who's eyes are darting around to see if
  398. there's someone else she should be
  399. talking to. And it's like I'm supposed
  400. to be all happy cause she's wearing a
  401. backpack. Half of them are nasty skanks
  402. who wouldn't be shit if they weren't
  403. surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny
  404. assholes. I'm not gonna be one of those
  405. assholes. It's fucking depressing. Some
  406. skank who isn't half the woman my
  407. girlfriend is is gonna front me? It
  408. makes me want to puke.
  409.  
  410. TRENT
  411. (beat)
  412. You got it bad, baby. You need Vegas.
  413.  
  414. MIKE
  415. What are you talking about? Vegas?
  416.  
  417. TRENT
  418. VEGAS.
  419.  
  420. MIKE
  421. What Vegas?
  422.  
  423. TRENT
  424. We're going to Vegas.
  425.  
  426. MIKE
  427. When?
  428.  
  429. TRENT
  430. Tonight, baby.
  431.  
  432. MIKE
  433. You're crazy.
  434.  
  435. TRENT
  436. I'll pick you up in a half an hour.
  437.  
  438. MIKE
  439. I'm not going to Vegas.
  440.  
  441. TRENT
  442. Shut up- yes you are. Now listen to Tee.
  443. We'll stop at a cash machine on the way.
  444.  
  445. A long thoughtful pause.
  446.  
  447. MIKE
  448. I can't lose more than a hundred.
  449.  
  450. TRENT
  451. Just bring your card. Half an hour.
  452.  
  453. MIKE
  454. Wait.
  455.  
  456. TRENT
  457. What?
  458.  
  459. MIKE
  460. What are you wearing? I mean, we should
  461. wear suits.
  462.  
  463. TRENT
  464. Oh... Now Mikey wants to be a high
  465. roller.
  466.  
  467. MIKE
  468. No, seriously, if you're dressed nice and
  469. you act like you gamble a lot, they give
  470. you free shit.
  471.  
  472. TRENT
  473. Okay Bugsy. Twenty minutes.
  474.  
  475. MIKE
  476. Wear a suit, I'm telling you it works.
  477.  
  478. TRENT
  479. Be downstairs. You're beautiful.
  480.  
  481. CUT TO:
  482.  
  483. 4 EXT. MIKE'S BUILDING - FRANKLIN AVENUE - NIGHT 4
  484.  
  485. Mike is dressed to the nines in classic vintage threads.
  486. He's trying to look at ease as he straightens his cuff links.
  487. He approaches Trent who suavely leans against his worn down
  488. ride. He's a tall, slim, good-looking cat. His sharkskin
  489. suit hangs well on his lanky frame as it tapers to his
  490. ankles. Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me" on the tape deck adds
  491. an elegance to the scene. They exchange an impish grin and
  492. depart without saying a word. Maybe this isn't such a bad
  493. idea.
  494.  
  495. CUT TO:
  496.  
  497. 5 INT. TRENT'S CAR - DETAIL SHOT - SPEEDOMETER - NIGHT 5
  498.  
  499. The NEEDLE IS PINNED. The gauges are blurred by the
  500. vibration of the poorly tuned engine. The SHOT WIDENS to
  501. reveal that the "Oil" and "Service" dummy lights are both
  502. illuminated, causing an eerie red glow onto TRENT's white
  503. knuckles.
  504.  
  505. 6 EXT. DESERT ROAD - NIGHT 6
  506.  
  507. Trent's car is red-lined. The SWINGERS are Vegas bound. Do
  508. not pass go.
  509.  
  510. MATCH CUT TO:
  511.  
  512. 7 INT. TRENT'S CAR - NIGHT 7
  513.  
  514. MIKE
  515. (counting bills)
  516. I took out three hundred, but I'm only
  517. gonna bet with one. I figure if we buy
  518. a lot of chips, the pit boss will see and
  519. they'll comp us all sorts of shit, then
  520. we trade back the chips at the end of the
  521. night. You gotta be cool though.
  522.  
  523. TRENT
  524. I'm cool, baby. They're gonna give Daddy
  525. a room, some breakfast, maybe Bennett's
  526. singing.
  527.  
  528. MIKE
  529. I'm serious. This is how you do it. I'm
  530. telling you.
  531.  
  532. TRENT
  533. I know. Daddy's gonna get the Rainman
  534. suite. Vegas, baby. We're going to
  535. Vegas!
  536.  
  537. MIKE
  538. Vegas! You think we'll get there by
  539. midnight?
  540.  
  541. TRENT
  542. Baby, we're gonna be up by five hundy by
  543. midnight. Vegas, baby!
  544.  
  545. MIKE
  546. Vegas!
  547.  
  548. Mike twists up the Chairman of the Board as we...
  549.  
  550. DISSOLVE TO:
  551.  
  552. 8 INT. TRENT'S CAR - HOURS LATER 8
  553.  
  554. The two swingers are starting to fray around the edges but
  555. are unwilling to admit it to each other or themselves. Frank
  556. has been replaced by talk radio.
  557.  
  558. TRENT
  559. Vegas, baby!
  560.  
  561. MIKE
  562. Vegas!
  563.  
  564. The needle is still buried.
  565.  
  566. DISSOLVE TO:
  567.  
  568. 9 INT. TRENT'S CAR - MANY HOURS LATER 9
  569.  
  570. Sleep deprivation and desert static radio.
  571.  
  572. TRENT
  573. Vegas.
  574.  
  575. MIKE
  576. Vegas.
  577.  
  578. DISSOLVE TO:
  579.  
  580. 10 INT. TRENT'S CAR - LATER THAT NIGHT 10
  581.  
  582. Mike is sleeping in the passenger seat.
  583.  
  584. TRENT
  585. Wake up, baby.
  586.  
  587. MIKE
  588. (stirring)
  589. Whu?
  590.  
  591. TRENT
  592. Look at it, baby. Vegas, baby!
  593.  
  594. Trent points out a mountain range. It is now the only thing
  595. separating them from their destination. The surreal glow of
  596. the desert sky is accentuated by the loud slashing of the
  597. cobalt and ruby lasers emanating from a source masked by
  598. the craggy peaks. Mike slowly stirs from his slumber. He is
  599. transfixed by this affrontation of nature. It is his first
  600. glimpse of the city without God.
  601.  
  602. MIKE
  603. (in reverie)
  604. Vegas.
  605.  
  606. CUT TO:
  607.  
  608. 11 EXT. VEGAS STRIP - NIGHT 11
  609.  
  610. The shrill cry of Basie's fat brass section heralds the
  611. arrival of the young swingers. Their eyes drink every watt
  612. of golden light as Sinatra's crooning urges them on.
  613.  
  614. Mike has either had enough sleep or so little that it no
  615. longer matters. Either way, there's no turning back.
  616.  
  617. They roll up to a casino valet. TILT UP to a skull and
  618. crossbones which looms overhead.
  619.  
  620. CUT TO:
  621.  
  622. 12 INT. TREASURE ISLAND CASINO - NIGHT 12
  623.  
  624. The two guys walk and talk down a fluorescent hallway. It is
  625. well past midnight and the only patrons at this hour are
  626. tourists too drunk to sleep and compulsive gamblers who snuck
  627. out of their rooms without waking their wives.
  628.  
  629. It is a weeknight and it is beginning to become painfully
  630. obvious that our boys are overdressed.
  631.  
  632. The decor is nautical plaster. Castings of bearded men with
  633. primitive prosthesis clutching daggers between their teeth
  634. are everywhere.
  635.  
  636. All of ye olde promenade shoppes are closed.
  637.  
  638. MIKE
  639. (the first budding of
  640. crankiness)
  641. Pirates of the fucking Caribbean.
  642.  
  643. TRENT
  644. This is the hot new place, besides, you
  645. love pirates. Tell me Mikey doesn't love
  646. pirates.
  647.  
  648. MIKE
  649. This is fuckin' post-pubescent
  650. Disneyland.
  651.  
  652. TRENT
  653. You gotta love the pirates, baby. The
  654. pirates are money.
  655.  
  656. The corridor empties into the equally kitch CASINO.
  657.  
  658. MIKE
  659. This place is dead. I thought this was
  660. the city that never sleeps.
  661.  
  662. TRENT
  663. That's New York, baby. You should know
  664. that. Look at the waitresses. I'm gonna
  665. get me a peg-leg baby.
  666.  
  667. MIKE
  668. They're all skanks.
  669.  
  670. TRENT
  671. Baby, there are beautiful babies here.
  672.  
  673. MIKE
  674. Tee, the beautiful babies don't work
  675. Wednesdays midnight to six. This is the
  676. skank shift.
  677.  
  678. TRENT
  679. What are you talking about? Look at all
  680. the honeys.
  681.  
  682. Trent contorts his face at a cute WAITRESS passing by with a
  683. tray of drinks.
  684.  
  685. TRENT
  686. Arrrrg!
  687.  
  688. The waitress cracks a smile as she crosses away. Mike is
  689. visibly embarrassed.
  690.  
  691. MIKE
  692. Cut that shit out.
  693.  
  694. TRENT
  695. She smiled baby.
  696.  
  697. MIKE
  698. That's not cool.
  699.  
  700. TRENT
  701. Did she, or did she not smile?
  702.  
  703. MIKE
  704. It doesn't matter...
  705.  
  706. TRENT
  707. I'm telling you, they love that shit.
  708.  
  709. MIKE
  710. You're gonna screw up our plan.
  711.  
  712. TRENT
  713. We're gonna get laid, baby.
  714.  
  715. MIKE
  716. First let's see what happens if we play
  717. it cool.
  718.  
  719. TRENT
  720. What? You think she's gonna tell her
  721. pit-boss on us?
  722.  
  723. MIKE
  724. Don't make fun, I think we can get some
  725. free shit if we don't fuck around.
  726.  
  727. TRENT
  728. Who's fucking around? I'm not making fun.
  729. Let's do it, baby.
  730.  
  731. MIKE
  732. The trick is to look like you don't need
  733. it, then they give you shit for free.
  734.  
  735. TRENT
  736. Well, you look money, baby. We both
  737. look money.
  738.  
  739. Mike points to a semi-curtained, semi-roped-off area near the
  740. baccarat tables. The clientele is classier, but they're
  741. still obviously overdressed.
  742.  
  743. MIKE
  744. (pointing)
  745. That's where we make our scene.
  746.  
  747. TRENT
  748. You think they're watching?
  749.  
  750. MIKE
  751. Oh, they're watching all right. They're
  752. watching.
  753.  
  754. CUT TO:
  755.  
  756. 13 INT. TREASURE ISLAND CASINO - THE CLASSY SECTION - NIGHT 13
  757.  
  758. Mike is at a blackjack table with Trent at his side. The
  759. game has paused to observe the newcomers as Mike draws a
  760. billfold out of his breast pocket. They're pulling it off
  761. with only slightly noticeable effort.
  762.  
  763. MIKE
  764. I don't know, I guess I'll start with
  765. three hundred in, uh, blacks.
  766.  
  767. Mike tries to hand the DEALER a handful of twenties after
  768. counting them twice.
  769.  
  770. DEALER
  771. On the table.
  772.  
  773. MIKE
  774. Sorry?
  775.  
  776. DEALER
  777. You have to lay it on the table.
  778.  
  779. MIKE
  780. Uh, I don't want to bet it all.
  781.  
  782. The other players grow impatient.
  783.  
  784. DEALER
  785. You're not allowed to hand me money, sir.
  786. You'll have to lay it on the table if you
  787. want me to change it.
  788.  
  789. MIKE
  790. (hastily laying down the bills)
  791. Oh... right.
  792.  
  793. The dealer lays out the bills such that the amount is visible
  794. to the camera encased in the black glass globe overhead.
  795. Trent and Mike look up at it open-mouthed like turkeys in the
  796. rain.
  797.  
  798. DEALER
  799. Blacks?
  800.  
  801. Mike's attention is recaptured by the dealer, but Trent
  802. continues trying to peer through the smoked glass.
  803.  
  804. MIKE
  805. Huh?
  806.  
  807. DEALER
  808. You want this in black chips.
  809.  
  810. MIKE
  811. Sure, that'll be fine.
  812.  
  813. The dealer chirps out an unintelligible formality and the PIT
  814. BOSS chirps the response. Trent's focus whips away from the
  815. camera as both he and Mike stare at the pit boss ten feet
  816. away.
  817.  
  818. The dealer plunks down the measly THREE CHIPS which represent
  819. Mike's entire cash reserve. Not quite the effect he had
  820. hoped for.
  821.  
  822. The swingers stare at the chips. The players stare at the
  823. swingers. The dealer stares at the pit boss.
  824.  
  825. MIKE
  826. Do you have anything smaller?
  827.  
  828. DEALER
  829. Yes, but I'm afraid this table has a
  830. hundred-dollar-minimum bet. Perhaps
  831. you'd be more comfortable at one of our
  832. lower stakes tables.
  833.  
  834. The dealer indicates a FIVE-DOLLAR TABLE across the room
  835. where an Hispanic woman deals to a BLUEHAIR, a BIKER, and a
  836. COUPLE in matching Siegfried and Roy T-shirts.
  837.  
  838. The swingers look back to the dealer who is now flanked by
  839. the pit boss.
  840.  
  841. The tense silence is broken by...
  842.  
  843. WAITRESS
  844. Drinks?
  845. (then to Trent)
  846. How about you, Cap'n?
  847.  
  848. Trent looks over to see that it's the same WAITRESS who
  849. flashed him a smile earlier. At first he begins to smile,
  850. then, remembering that he is locked in a high stakes battle
  851. of wills, subtly shakes her off. She smirks and starts to
  852. leave until she is interrupted by Mike holding up a finger.
  853. It's a balsy move, but everyone's watching. The kid's going
  854. for broke.
  855. MIKE
  856. (to the waitress, but never
  857. breaking eye contact with the
  858. dealer)
  859. I'll have a vodka martini, straight up,
  860. shaken not stirred, very dry.
  861.  
  862. Smooth. Trent is impressed, but masks his pride.
  863.  
  864. WAITRESS
  865. (under her breath cynically as
  866. she writes it down)
  867. One "James Bond".
  868.  
  869. Ow. She exits.
  870.  
  871. MIKE
  872. (regaining composure)
  873. No. Blacks will be fine.
  874.  
  875. Mike throws a chip in the circle. Trent is shocked. That's
  876. a hundred bucks. Mike and Trent share a look. The dealer
  877. and the pit boss exchange glances. Bets are all down and the
  878. cards are meticulously dealt.
  879.  
  880. The dealer has a two showing. Mike has been dealt a five and
  881. a six- eleven.
  882.  
  883. TRENT
  884. (hushed tones)
  885. Double down.
  886.  
  887. MIKE
  888. (even husheder)
  889. What?!?
  890.  
  891. TRENT
  892. Double down, baby. You gotta double down
  893. on an eleven.
  894.  
  895. MIKE
  896. I know, but...
  897.  
  898. TRENT
  899. You gotta do it.
  900.  
  901. MIKE
  902. ...but that's two hundred dollars.
  903. This is blood money...
  904.  
  905. TRENT
  906. If we don't look like we know what we're
  907. doing, then we may as well...
  908.  
  909. Everyone's waiting for them.
  910.  
  911. MIKE
  912. I know.
  913.  
  914. The dealer, the pit boss, and all the players look on as Mike
  915. drops ANOTHER BLACK CHIP in the circle with a barely audible,
  916. yet deafening, thud.
  917.  
  918. MIKE
  919. (with all the nonchalance he
  920. can muster)
  921. Double down.
  922.  
  923. A bead of sweat.
  924.  
  925. The sharp snap of a dealt card.
  926.  
  927. It's a seven. Eighteen.
  928.  
  929. Disappointment twists their faces.
  930.  
  931. Finally the dealer flips over his card.
  932.  
  933. It's a king! Twelve. Here comes the bust...
  934.  
  935. Flick - four. Sixteen! Here comes the bust...
  936.  
  937. Flick - five. Twenty one. Groans all around, except for the
  938. swingers who watch their chips slide away in silence.
  939.  
  940. Mike breaks the spell with a plucky smile from the pit of his
  941. stomach.
  942. MIKE
  943. (to the pit boss)
  944. Sure could use some dinner about now.
  945.  
  946. SMASH CUT TO:
  947.  
  948. Trent and Mike are wedged between the BLUEHAIR and the BIKER
  949. At the FIVE DOLLAR TABLE. They share a pile of red chips.
  950.  
  951. TRENT
  952. I'm telling you, baby, you always double
  953. down on an eleven.
  954.  
  955. MIKE
  956. Yeah? Well obviously not always!
  957.  
  958. TRENT
  959. Always, baby.
  960.  
  961. MIKE
  962. I'm just saying, not in this particular
  963. case.
  964.  
  965. TRENT
  966. Always.
  967.  
  968. MIKE
  969. But I lost! How can you say always?!?
  970.  
  971. In the meantime, the Bluehair has been dealt an eleven.
  972. This captures the swinger's attention.
  973.  
  974. BLUEHAIR
  975. Hit.
  976.  
  977. Four. Fifteen all together.
  978.  
  979. BLUEHAIR
  980. Oh... I don't know... Hit.
  981.  
  982. Two. Seventeen. Dealer has a seven showing.
  983.  
  984. BLUEHAIR
  985. What the hell- hit.
  986.  
  987. Four! Twenty one.
  988.  
  989. DEALER
  990. (with a warm smile)
  991. Twenty one.
  992.  
  993. Polite applause from around the table which the Bluehair
  994. humbly waves off. Mike looks at Trent. Daggers. Trent
  995. shrugs.
  996.  
  997. A different PIT BOSS approaches.
  998.  
  999. PIT BOSS
  1000. Would you care for some breakfast, ma'am?
  1001.  
  1002. BLUEHAIR
  1003. Well...? No, I shouldn't. Maybe later.
  1004. Thank you, though.
  1005.  
  1006. MIKE
  1007. (to Trent, under his breath)
  1008. I'm gonna fuckinkillyou.
  1009.  
  1010. CUT TO:
  1011.  
  1012. 14 INT. TREASURE ISLAND CASINO - CASHIER'S WINDOW - NIGHT 14
  1013.  
  1014. Mike is presented a stack of twenties by the CASHIER, who
  1015. counts them out. Trent looks on.
  1016.  
  1017. CASHIER
  1018. ...eighty... one hundred... one hundred
  1019. and twenty dollars. We hope to see you
  1020. back on the high seas soon.
  1021. (polite smile)
  1022.  
  1023. Mike throws her a disgusted look, then turns to go. Trent
  1024. struggles to cheer him up.
  1025.  
  1026. TRENT
  1027. What's that? One twenty? You're up
  1028. twenty bucks, baby.
  1029.  
  1030. Mike throws him a disgusted glare.
  1031.  
  1032. TRENT
  1033. ... Well, you know, not counting the
  1034. first table.
  1035.  
  1036. MIKE
  1037. Thanks for clarifying that.
  1038.  
  1039. TRENT
  1040. Hey, man, I'm down too, you know.
  1041.  
  1042. MIKE
  1043. Yea, how much?
  1044.  
  1045. TRENT
  1046. I don't know, what? Thirty, Forty maybe.
  1047.  
  1048. MIKE
  1049. Don't give me that shit. You know
  1050. exactly how much you lost. What'd you
  1051. drop?
  1052.  
  1053. TRENT
  1054. Twenty... but I was down at least fifty.
  1055. I'm sorry, I got hot at the crap table.
  1056.  
  1057. MIKE
  1058. You won. There's nothing to be sorry
  1059. about. You're a winner. I'm the fuckin
  1060. loser. I should be sorry.
  1061.  
  1062. TRENT
  1063. Baby, don't talk like that, baby.
  1064.  
  1065. MIKE
  1066. Let's just leave.
  1067.  
  1068. TRENT
  1069. Baby, you're money. You're the big
  1070. winner.
  1071.  
  1072. MIKE
  1073. Let's go.
  1074.  
  1075. TRENT
  1076. (condescending)
  1077. Who's the big winner?
  1078.  
  1079. Mike looks away, shaking his head in disgust.
  1080.  
  1081. TRENT
  1082. (lifting Mike's reluctant hand
  1083. from the wrist like a boxing
  1084. champ)
  1085. Mikey's the big winner.
  1086.  
  1087. MIKE
  1088. (shaking his head to hide a
  1089. smirk)
  1090. What an asshole.
  1091.  
  1092. TRENT
  1093. Okay, Tee's the asshole, but Mikey's the
  1094. big winner.
  1095.  
  1096. The same WAITRESS from before approaches the swingers as they
  1097. are about to leave.
  1098.  
  1099. WAITRESS
  1100. There you two are. I walked around for
  1101. an hour with that stupid martini on my
  1102. tray.
  1103.  
  1104. MIKE
  1105. Sorry. We got knocked out pretty
  1106. quickly.
  1107.  
  1108. CHRISTY
  1109. (sarcasm?)
  1110. A couple of high rollers like you?
  1111.  
  1112. MIKE
  1113. Could you believe it?
  1114.  
  1115. CHRISTY
  1116. Wait here, I'll get you that martini.
  1117.  
  1118. MIKE
  1119. Nah, I didn't really want it anyway. I
  1120. just wanted to order it.
  1121.  
  1122. CHRISTY
  1123. Can I get you something else? I mean,
  1124. you shouldn't leave without getting
  1125. something for free.
  1126.  
  1127. MIKE
  1128. No thanks. Why ruin a perfect night.
  1129.  
  1130. TRENT
  1131. (condescending)
  1132. Bring a James Bond for me and my boy
  1133. Mikey, and if you tell the bartender to
  1134. go easy on the water...
  1135. (holds up a half-dollar)
  1136. ...this Kennedy has your name on it. Now
  1137. run along, I'm timing you.
  1138.  
  1139. The waitress smiles in spite of herself, shakes her head, and
  1140. walks away.
  1141.  
  1142. MIKE
  1143. What an asshole.
  1144.  
  1145. TRENT
  1146. That was money. Tell me that wasn't
  1147. money.
  1148.  
  1149. MIKE
  1150. That was so demeaning...
  1151.  
  1152. TRENT
  1153. She smiled, baby.
  1154.  
  1155. MIKE
  1156. I can't believe what an asshole you are.
  1157.  
  1158. TRENT
  1159. Did she, or did she not smile.
  1160.  
  1161. MIKE
  1162. She was smiling at what an asshole you
  1163. are.
  1164.  
  1165. TRENT
  1166. She was smiling at how money I am, baby.
  1167.  
  1168. MIKE
  1169. Let's go. I'm not paying for a room, and
  1170. if we don't leave now we'll never make
  1171. it.
  1172.  
  1173. TRENT
  1174. Leave? The honey-baby's bringing us some
  1175. cocktails.
  1176.  
  1177. MIKE
  1178. What are you, nuts? You think she's
  1179. coming back?
  1180.  
  1181. TRENT
  1182. I know she's coming back.
  1183.  
  1184. MIKE
  1185. I don't think so.
  1186.  
  1187. TRENT
  1188. Baby, did you hear her? "You shouldn't
  1189. leave without getting something for
  1190. free." She wants to party, baby.
  1191.  
  1192. MIKE
  1193. You think so?
  1194.  
  1195. TRENT
  1196. You gotta give Tee one thing. He's good
  1197. with the ladies.
  1198.  
  1199. MIKE
  1200. I'm too tired for this. Let's just go.
  1201.  
  1202. TRENT
  1203. Baby, this is what we came for. We met
  1204. a beautiful baby and she likes you.
  1205.  
  1206. MIKE
  1207. She likes you.
  1208.  
  1209. TRENT
  1210. Whatever. We'll see. Daddy's gonna get
  1211. her to bring a friend. We'll both get
  1212. one. I don't care if I'm with her or one
  1213. of her beautiful baby friends.
  1214.  
  1215. MIKE
  1216. I don't know...
  1217.  
  1218. TRENT
  1219. You gotta get that girl out of your head.
  1220. It's time to move on. You're a stylish,
  1221. successful, good looking cat. The ladies
  1222. want to love you, you just gotta let
  1223. them.
  1224.  
  1225. MIKE
  1226. That's bullshit.
  1227.  
  1228. TRENT
  1229. It's not. You're money. Any of these
  1230. ladies would be lucky to pull a cat like
  1231. you.
  1232.  
  1233. MIKE
  1234. It's just that I've been out of the game
  1235. so long. Trent, I was with her for six
  1236. years. That's before AIDS. I'm scared.
  1237. I don't know how to talk to them, I don't
  1238. know...
  1239.  
  1240. TRENT
  1241. You can't think like that, baby. It's
  1242. hard, I know. I've been there. Not for
  1243. six years, but I know. You just gotta
  1244. get back out there.
  1245.  
  1246. MIKE
  1247. It's just tough, after sleeping with
  1248. someone you love for so long, to be with
  1249. someone new... who doesn't know what I
  1250. like... and you gotta wear a jimmy...
  1251.  
  1252. TRENT
  1253. ... gotta...
  1254.  
  1255. MIKE
  1256. ... and then I'm struggling to impress
  1257. some chick who's not half as classy as my
  1258. girlfriend, who I'm not even really
  1259. attracted to...
  1260.  
  1261. TRENT
  1262. Oh fuck that. You don't have to try and
  1263. impress anyone. You think I give a shit?
  1264. You think I sweat that skanky whore
  1265. waitress...
  1266.  
  1267. Tee is interrupted by the WAITRESS who, thank God, barely
  1268. missed his comment.
  1269.  
  1270. TRENT
  1271. (recovering, looking at watch)
  1272. ... One fifty-nine, Two minutes.
  1273.  
  1274. WAITRESS
  1275. Two vodka martinis, straight up, shaken
  1276. not stirred, very dry, easy on the water.
  1277.  
  1278. TRENT
  1279. Beautiful. What time are you off...
  1280. (reads nameplate)
  1281. ... Christy?
  1282.  
  1283. WAITRESS
  1284. Six.
  1285.  
  1286. Mike can't believe it. Tee is just making it happen.
  1287.  
  1288. TRENT
  1289. Call a friend and have her meet the three
  1290. of us at the Landlubber Lounge at 6:01.
  1291. (Trent throws the half-dollar
  1292. on her tray)
  1293.  
  1294. SMASH CUT TO:
  1295.  
  1296. 15 INT. TREASURE ISLAND CASINO - COFFEE SHOP - SAME NIGHT 15
  1297.  
  1298. Trent and Mike are looking at menus. They're smoking at the
  1299. table because the can.
  1300.  
  1301. MIKE
  1302. That was so fuckin' money. It was like
  1303. that "Jedi mind" shit.
  1304.  
  1305. TRENT
  1306. That's what I'm telling you, baby. The
  1307. babies love that stuff. They don't want
  1308. all that sensitive shit. You start
  1309. talking to them about puppy dogs and ice
  1310. cream. They know what you want. What do
  1311. you think? You think they don't?
  1312.  
  1313. MIKE
  1314. I know. I know.
  1315.  
  1316. TRENT
  1317. They know what you want, believe me.
  1318. Pretending is just a waste of time.
  1319. You're gonna take them there eventually
  1320. anyway. Don't apologize for it.
  1321. MIKE
  1322. I'm just trying to be a gentleman, show
  1323. some respect...
  1324.  
  1325. TRENT
  1326. Respect, my ass. They respect honesty.
  1327. You see how they dress when they go out?
  1328. They want to be noticed. You're just
  1329. showing them it's working. You gotta get
  1330. off this respect kick, baby. There aint
  1331. nothing wrong with letting them now that
  1332. you're money and that you want to party.
  1333.  
  1334. The COFFEE SHOP WAITRESS approaches the table. She's cute,
  1335. but not nearly as hot as Christy.
  1336.  
  1337. WAITRESS
  1338. Are you ready to order?
  1339.  
  1340. MIKE
  1341. Coffee...
  1342. (points to Trent, who nods)
  1343. Two coffees. It says "Breakfast Any
  1344. Time", right?
  1345.  
  1346. WAITRESS
  1347. That's right.
  1348.  
  1349. MIKE
  1350. I'll have "pancakes in the Age of
  1351. Enlightenment".
  1352.  
  1353. It goes over like a lead balloon.
  1354.  
  1355. WAITRESS
  1356. And you?
  1357.  
  1358. TRENT
  1359. I'll have the Blackbeard over easy.
  1360.  
  1361. WAITRESS
  1362. I'll be back with the coffee.
  1363.  
  1364. She takes the menus and goes.
  1365.  
  1366. TRENT
  1367. (genuinely)
  1368. Nice, baby.
  1369.  
  1370. MIKE
  1371. I should've said Renaissance, right? It
  1372. went over her head.
  1373.  
  1374. TRENT
  1375. Baby, you did fine.
  1376.  
  1377. MIKE
  1378. (disgusted with himself)
  1379. "Age of Enlightenment". Shit. Like some
  1380. waitress in a Las Vegas coffee shop is
  1381. going to get an obscure French
  1382. philosophical reference. How demeaning.
  1383. I may as well have just said "Let me jump
  1384. your ignorant bones."...
  1385.  
  1386. TRENT
  1387. ...Baby...
  1388.  
  1389. MIKE
  1390. ... It's just, I thought "Renaissance"
  1391. was too Excaliber, it's the wrong casino.
  1392. She would've gotten it, though...
  1393.  
  1394. TRENT
  1395. You did fine. Don't sweat her. We're
  1396. meeting our honeys soon. You know
  1397. Christy's friend is going to be money.
  1398.  
  1399. MIKE
  1400. I hope so.
  1401. (checks watch)
  1402. We gotta go soon.
  1403.  
  1404. TRENT
  1405. Baby, relax. It's just down the hall.
  1406. She's gotta change... we'll be fine.
  1407.  
  1408. MIKE
  1409. We didn't do so bad after all.
  1410.  
  1411. TRENT
  1412. Baby, we're money.
  1413.  
  1414. Mike tries to catch the attention of their waitress, who is
  1415. passing with a huge platter containing a BREAKFAST BANQUET.
  1416.  
  1417. MIKE
  1418. Excuse me. We're in a bit of a hurry.
  1419.  
  1420. WAITRESS
  1421. Hang on, Voltaire.
  1422.  
  1423. She passes their table and sets the ENTIRE FEAST in front of
  1424. the BLUEHAIR from the casino who sits alone.
  1425.  
  1426. BLUEHAIR
  1427. I said two lox platters. This isn't
  1428. thirty dollars worth of food. I have a
  1429. thirty dollar voucher. This isn't my
  1430. first time in Vegas, you know.
  1431.  
  1432. CUT TO:
  1433.  
  1434. 16 INT. TREASURE ISLAND CASINO - LANDLUBBER LOUNGE - SAME NIGHT 16
  1435.  
  1436. Christy is at the bar wearing acid-washed jeans with a
  1437. matching denim top. She's sexy in a pathetic mid-eighties
  1438. sort of way. She's sitting next to a pretty brunette, LISA,
  1439. dressed in a similar fashion.
  1440.  
  1441. There is something bizarre about her appearance. Her hair is
  1442. tied into long pig-tails with powder blue ribbons. Her
  1443. makeup job is almost theatrical, with bright pink/red lips.
  1444. She can't be that out of it, or can she?
  1445.  
  1446. The girls have already been flanked by a herd of potential
  1447. COURTIERS.
  1448.  
  1449. The SWINGERS saunter up to the girls in a smooth, SLOW-MOTION
  1450. SHOT.
  1451.  
  1452. The girls notice them.
  1453.  
  1454. The courtiers sense their rejection and part like the Red Sea
  1455. for the swingers in perfect slow-motion choreography.
  1456.  
  1457. CHRISTY
  1458. Hi, boys, we almost gave up on you.
  1459.  
  1460. TRENT
  1461. Oh, are we late? There are no clocks in
  1462. this town.
  1463.  
  1464. CHRISTY
  1465. Well, no harm done. This is Lisa. I'm
  1466. sorry, I never got your names...
  1467.  
  1468. MIKE
  1469. I'm Mike...
  1470. (with contempt)
  1471. and this is my friend "Doubledown Trent".
  1472.  
  1473. TRENT
  1474. (working the bit)
  1475. Stop.
  1476. (then to the girls)
  1477. Ladies, don't you double down on an
  1478. eleven?
  1479.  
  1480. CHRISTY
  1481. Always...
  1482.  
  1483. LISA
  1484. No matter what... like splitting aces.
  1485.  
  1486. MIKE
  1487. Whatever.
  1488.  
  1489. TRENT
  1490. Hello, Lisa. I'm Trent. What a lovely
  1491. makeup job.
  1492.  
  1493. CHRISTY
  1494. Lisa works at the MGM Grand...
  1495.  
  1496. LISA
  1497. (apologetically)
  1498. I'm a "Dorothy".
  1499.  
  1500. TRENT
  1501. (trying to sell her to Mike)
  1502. Oh... a Dorothy.
  1503.  
  1504. MIKE
  1505. Well... we're not in Kansas anymore.
  1506.  
  1507. Another lead balloon. Uncomfortable silence.
  1508.  
  1509. CHRISTY
  1510. What do you guys do?
  1511.  
  1512. MIKE
  1513. I'm a comedian.
  1514.  
  1515. More uncomfortable silence.
  1516.  
  1517. LISA
  1518. Do you ever perform out here? I'd love
  1519. to see you.
  1520.  
  1521. MIKE
  1522. No...
  1523.  
  1524. LISA
  1525. You should. A lot of comics play Vegas.
  1526.  
  1527. MIKE
  1528. Well, I'm afraid it's not that easy...
  1529.  
  1530. LISA
  1531. Why not?
  1532.  
  1533. MIKE
  1534. There are different circuits... it's hard
  1535. to explain... you wouldn't understand...
  1536.  
  1537. LISA
  1538. Who's your booking agent?
  1539.  
  1540. MIKE
  1541. (flustered)
  1542. Oh? You know about booking agents... I
  1543. don't, uh, actually have a west coast
  1544. agent as of yet...
  1545.  
  1546. LISA
  1547. Well, who represents you back east?
  1548.  
  1549. MIKE
  1550. Actually, it's funny you... I'm
  1551. actually, uh, between...
  1552.  
  1553. LISA
  1554. What do you do, Trent?
  1555.  
  1556. TRENT
  1557. I'm a producer.
  1558.  
  1559. BOTH GIRLS
  1560. Wow... Oooh... Ahhh...
  1561.  
  1562. Mike rolls his eyes at how full of shit he is.
  1563.  
  1564. CHRISTY
  1565. Listen, I'm not really allowed to drink
  1566. here. We should go someplace else.
  1567. How's my place?
  1568.  
  1569. The swingers exchange a glance.
  1570.  
  1571. Beat.
  1572.  
  1573. TRENT & MIKE
  1574. Sounds good to me... Fine... Sure
  1575.  
  1576. CUT TO:
  1577.  
  1578. 17 EXT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - EARLY MORNING 17
  1579.  
  1580. Establishing shot of an Airstream trailer dug into the desert
  1581. on chocks. Trent's car and two El Caminos are parked out
  1582. front.
  1583.  
  1584. 18 INT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - SAME 18
  1585.  
  1586. The foursome, now somewhat more intimate, sit huddled around
  1587. the fold-out table.
  1588.  
  1589. They've been drinking whiskey and long-neck Buds, judging by
  1590. the recyclables.
  1591.  
  1592. The pairings seems to be Trent/Christy, Mike/Lisa.
  1593.  
  1594. The cramped compartment is filled with secondary smoke and
  1595. laughter.
  1596.  
  1597. TRENT
  1598. No... no... The worst was when I went in
  1599. for this After-School special and I'm
  1600. sitting in the waiting room with all
  1601. these little kids. I see they're all
  1602. signed in for the same role as me...
  1603.  
  1604. CHRISTY
  1605. They were auditioning for the same role
  1606. as you?
  1607.  
  1608. TRENT
  1609. Wait... Wait... Listen... So, I check the
  1610. time and place. I'm where I'm supposed
  1611. to be. I call my agent... She says they
  1612. asked for me specifically...
  1613.  
  1614. MIKE
  1615. What was the part?
  1616.  
  1617. TRENT
  1618. Oh... "I love you... I can't believe
  1619. you're doing this... Drugs are bad..."
  1620. Whatever. After-School bullshit. The
  1621. role is Brother.
  1622.  
  1623. MIKE
  1624. "Big Brother", "Little Brother"?
  1625.  
  1626. TRENT
  1627. Wait... Wait... Just "Brother". So I go
  1628. in. "Hello... Hi... We loved your guest
  1629. spot on Baywatch... blah blah blah..."
  1630. Whatever. So, I start to read, and,
  1631. Mikey, I was money. I prepared for a
  1632. week. It's a starring role. I'm
  1633. crying... The casting director, she
  1634. starts crying...
  1635.  
  1636. MIKE
  1637. No!
  1638.  
  1639. TRENT
  1640. Yes!
  1641.  
  1642. LISA
  1643. Oh my God.
  1644.  
  1645. CHRISTY
  1646. Did you get it?
  1647.  
  1648. TRENT
  1649. Wait... She's crying. I finish. I hold
  1650. up my finger like "Wait a second". They
  1651. sit in silence for, like, at least five
  1652. minutes. I look up and they all start
  1653. clapping, and now they're all crying.
  1654. Even the camera guy.
  1655.  
  1656. MIKE
  1657. No! Not the camera guy!
  1658.  
  1659. TRENT
  1660. I'm telling you!
  1661.  
  1662. LISA
  1663. So what happened?
  1664.  
  1665. TRENT
  1666. So, I swear to God this is exactly what
  1667. he said. The producer says to me... now
  1668. he's still crying... he says to me that
  1669. I was great, that that was exactly what
  1670. they were looking for...
  1671.  
  1672. MIKE
  1673. ... So give me the fuckin part...
  1674.  
  1675. TRENT
  1676. Right? ... that I nailed it... Whatever.
  1677. Then he says it's just that I'm a little
  1678. old. I'm like "How old is the
  1679. Brother?". He's like, he says this with
  1680. a straight face, I swear to God, he says
  1681. "Eleven."
  1682. MIKE
  1683. So, what'd you say to him? "Double
  1684. down."?
  1685.  
  1686. They all crack up even more.
  1687.  
  1688. TRENT
  1689. It's like, you looked at my tape. You
  1690. saw my picture. Why did you call me in?
  1691. You knew I was twenty-four.
  1692.  
  1693. CHRISTY
  1694. What an asshole.
  1695.  
  1696. MIKE
  1697. I believe it.
  1698.  
  1699. The room dies down. The girls settle into the arms of their
  1700. men. There's a lot of body language and pheromones, but not
  1701. a lot of words.
  1702.  
  1703. CHRISTY
  1704. How rude of me. I haven't given you the
  1705. tour.
  1706.  
  1707. She gets up and leads Trent into the sleeping compartment to
  1708. the rear. The door slaps shut.
  1709.  
  1710. Mike and Lisa, in all her made-up glory, look into each
  1711. others eyes.
  1712.  
  1713. CUT TO:
  1714.  
  1715. 19 INT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - SLEEPING COMPARTMENT - SAME 19
  1716.  
  1717. Trent is already at work. He's smooth. A cascade of stuffed
  1718. animals tumble off the bed with every thrust. Clothes start
  1719. to peel off.
  1720.  
  1721. Trent takes a breather. He takes a step to the door.
  1722.  
  1723. TRENT
  1724. Let me just check on my boy.
  1725.  
  1726. CHRISTY
  1727. Don't worry. He's in good hands.
  1728.  
  1729. Trent cracks the door and peers through. The light is dim,
  1730. but he can make out that they're starting to neck.
  1731.  
  1732. He closes the door, satisfied.
  1733.  
  1734. CHRISTY
  1735. (coyly)
  1736. What a good friend. I can use a friend
  1737. like you.
  1738. (she beckons him back to bed)
  1739.  
  1740. CUT TO:
  1741.  
  1742. 20 INT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - FRONT ROOM - SAME 20
  1743.  
  1744. What seemed like necking is actually Lisa and Mike huddled
  1745. tight having an intimate conversation.
  1746.  
  1747. LISA
  1748. (reassuring)
  1749. I'm sure she'll call. Six years is a
  1750. long time. You don't just break it off
  1751. cleanly after six years.
  1752.  
  1753. MIKE
  1754. I know, but she did. She's with someone
  1755. else now...
  1756.  
  1757. LISA
  1758. Already? You poor thing. It won't last.
  1759.  
  1760. MIKE
  1761. Why not?
  1762.  
  1763. LISA
  1764. It's a rebound.
  1765.  
  1766. MIKE
  1767. We were a rebound, and we lasted six
  1768. years.
  1769.  
  1770. LISA
  1771. Yeah, but how long was the relationship
  1772. she was rebounding from?
  1773.  
  1774. MIKE
  1775. Six years.
  1776.  
  1777. Beat.
  1778.  
  1779. MIKE
  1780. Can I check my messages? I have a
  1781. calling card.
  1782.  
  1783. LISA
  1784. Sure, I guess. The phone's in the back.
  1785.  
  1786. Mike gets up and approaches the door.
  1787.  
  1788. MIKE
  1789. Sorry, it's just that...
  1790.  
  1791. LISA
  1792. I understand.
  1793.  
  1794. Mike lightly knocks on the door.
  1795.  
  1796. MIKE
  1797. Trent...
  1798. (knock knock)
  1799. Tee.
  1800.  
  1801. The door cracks.
  1802.  
  1803. MIKE
  1804. Sorry, man, I need...
  1805.  
  1806. Trent pokes a CONDOM through the door.
  1807.  
  1808. MIKE
  1809. No, man. I need to use the phone.
  1810.  
  1811. TRENT
  1812. What?
  1813.  
  1814. MIKE
  1815. I gotta use the phone.
  1816.  
  1817. TRENT
  1818. Baby, you'll check them tomorrow.
  1819.  
  1820. MIKE
  1821. Please, Tee. I have to use the phone.
  1822. Sorry, man.
  1823.  
  1824. TRENT
  1825. Hold on.
  1826.  
  1827. The door closes.
  1828.  
  1829. MIKE
  1830. (to Lisa)
  1831. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
  1832. They weren't in there that long.
  1833.  
  1834. Lisa reassuringly shakes her head.
  1835.  
  1836. Beat.
  1837.  
  1838. Christy walks out wearing only Trent's sharkskin jacket as a
  1839. robe.
  1840.  
  1841. Trent follows with a towel wrapped around his waist.
  1842.  
  1843. Trent glares at Mike as they pass. Daggers.
  1844.  
  1845. MIKE
  1846. (apologizing to Christy as she
  1847. exits)
  1848. I've got a calling card, there's no
  1849. charge to your phone.
  1850.  
  1851. CUT TO:
  1852.  
  1853. 21 INT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - SLEEPING COMPARTMENT - SAME 21
  1854.  
  1855. Mike dials.
  1856.  
  1857. BACK TO:
  1858.  
  1859. 22 INT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - FRONT ROOM - SAME 22
  1860.  
  1861. Half naked Trent and Christy sit with fully clothed Lisa.
  1862.  
  1863. CHRISTY
  1864. (to Lisa)
  1865. The poor thing. Six years?
  1866.  
  1867. LISA
  1868. ... And she's with someone else.
  1869.  
  1870. CHRISTY
  1871. The poor thing. I'll make some coffee.
  1872.  
  1873. Trent is not happy.
  1874.  
  1875. BACK TO:
  1876.  
  1877. 23 INT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - SLEEPING COMPARTMENT - SAME 23
  1878.  
  1879. Mike is on the phone.
  1880.  
  1881. ANSWERING MACHINE
  1882. (synthesized voice)
  1883. She didn't call.
  1884.  
  1885. Disappointment pulls at Mike's brow.
  1886.  
  1887. BACK TO:
  1888.  
  1889. 24 INT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - FRONT ROOM - SAME 24
  1890.  
  1891. The girls clean up the bottles and ashtrays. The coffee is
  1892. brewing. The shades are up. It's officially morning.
  1893.  
  1894. Trent's chin is in his hand. He radiates the blue tinge of
  1895. glandular congestion. He'll have no part of any of this.
  1896.  
  1897. CHRISTY
  1898. He's so sweet. He really said that?
  1899.  
  1900. LISA
  1901. I believe it too. He really just wants
  1902. her to be happy.
  1903.  
  1904. CHRISTY
  1905. He is so sweet.
  1906.  
  1907. Mike enters.
  1908.  
  1909. The girls immediately stop their chatter and look at him in
  1910. anticipation.
  1911.  
  1912. Mike shakes his head "no".
  1913.  
  1914. The girls walk to embrace him in consolation.
  1915.  
  1916. BOTH GIRLS
  1917. Awwww.
  1918.  
  1919. Trent just shakes his head. He'll have no part of any of
  1920. this.
  1921.  
  1922. CUT TO:
  1923.  
  1924. 25 EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY 25
  1925.  
  1926. Establishing whot of Trent's car heading back to L.A. on the
  1927. northbound I-15. The speeding car is dwarfed by the
  1928. expansive badlands.
  1929.  
  1930. 26 EXT. TRENT'S CAR - DESERT ROAD - SAME 26
  1931.  
  1932. MIKE
  1933. She asked me what I was thinking about?
  1934. What should I have done? Lie?
  1935.  
  1936. TRENT
  1937. You didn't have to get into it, baby.
  1938.  
  1939. MIKE
  1940. Sorry about interrupting...
  1941.  
  1942. TRENT
  1943. Don't worry about me, baby. I just
  1944. wanted you to have a good time.
  1945.  
  1946. MIKE
  1947. Christy was nice...
  1948.  
  1949. TRENT
  1950. I didn't even like her, to be honest.
  1951.  
  1952. MIKE
  1953. She was hot.
  1954.  
  1955. TRENT
  1956. She really didn't do it for me, baby.
  1957. How'd you like Dorothy?
  1958.  
  1959. MIKE
  1960. I don't know. The whole Judy Garland
  1961. thing kind of turned me on. Does that
  1962. makes me some kind of fag?
  1963.  
  1964. TRENT
  1965. No, baby. You're money.
  1966.  
  1967. MIKE
  1968. She didn't like me, anyway.
  1969.  
  1970. TRENT
  1971. She thought you were money.
  1972.  
  1973. MIKE
  1974. I don't think so.
  1975.  
  1976. TRENT
  1977. I heard them talking. They both thought
  1978. you were money.
  1979.  
  1980. MIKE
  1981. Yeah, a good friend.
  1982.  
  1983. TRENT
  1984. Baby, you take yourself out of the game.
  1985. You start talking about puppy dogs and
  1986. ice cream, of course it's gonna be on the
  1987. friend tip.
  1988.  
  1989. MIKE
  1990. I just don't think she liked me in that
  1991. way.
  1992.  
  1993. TRENT
  1994. Baby, you're so money you don't even
  1995. know it.
  1996.  
  1997. MIKE
  1998. Tee, girls don't go for me the way they
  1999. go for you.
  2000.  
  2001. TRENT
  2002. Michelle went for you, right.
  2003.  
  2004. MIKE
  2005. That was different.
  2006.  
  2007. TRENT
  2008. How?
  2009.  
  2010. MIKE
  2011. I was younger... It was college. You
  2012. didn't go to college, you don't know what
  2013. it's like. You screw chicks you have no
  2014. business being with. They're young, they
  2015. don't know any better.
  2016.  
  2017. TRENT
  2018. That's just plain silly. Your self-
  2019. esteem is just low because she's with
  2020. someone else. But thinking about it and
  2021. talking about it all the time is bad.
  2022. It's no good, man. You gotta get out
  2023. there. The ladies want to love you,
  2024. baby.
  2025.  
  2026. MIKE
  2027. I just need some time...
  2028.  
  2029. TRENT
  2030. Why? So you can beat yourself up?
  2031. Sitting around in that stuffy apartment.
  2032. It's just plain bad for you, man. It's
  2033. depressing. You've come so far.
  2034. Remember the first week? After she told
  2035. you? You couldn't even eat.
  2036.  
  2037. MIKE
  2038. Don't remind me.
  2039.  
  2040. TRENT
  2041. You just sat around drinking orange
  2042. juice. Now look at you. Look how far
  2043. you've come in just a few months. You
  2044. got that part in that movie...
  2045.  
  2046. MIKE
  2047. ... a day...
  2048.  
  2049. TRENT
  2050. ... Whatever. It's work. You're doing
  2051. what you love. What's she doing?
  2052.  
  2053. MIKE
  2054. Selling scrap metal.
  2055.  
  2056. TRENT
  2057. (smiles)
  2058. See? And what does this guy she's with
  2059. do?
  2060.  
  2061. MIKE
  2062. He drives a carriage.
  2063.  
  2064. TRENT
  2065. What?!?
  2066.  
  2067. MIKE
  2068. (smiling)
  2069. I hear he drives a carriage around
  2070. Central Park or something.
  2071.  
  2072. TRENT
  2073. Please. And you're sweating him?
  2074. You're "all that" and you're sweating
  2075. some lawn jockey?
  2076.  
  2077. MIKE
  2078. I hear she's getting real fat.
  2079.  
  2080. TRENT
  2081. Baby, she's the one who should be
  2082. thinking about you. Sounds to me like
  2083. you cut loose some dead weight. Trust
  2084. me, Mikey, you're better off.
  2085.  
  2086. Trent cranks some Frank. "You Make Me Feel So Young".
  2087.  
  2088. Mike is finally, genuinely, smiling.
  2089.  
  2090. He turns down the music enough to talk.
  2091.  
  2092. MIKE
  2093. I'm gonna try. I'm really gonna try.
  2094.  
  2095. Trent just smiles and cranks Frank back up
  2096.  
  2097. 27 EXT. DESERT ROAD - SAME 27
  2098.  
  2099. Trent's car drives off into the distance. A sign reads:
  2100. "Los Angeles - 270 miles".
  2101.  
  2102. DISSOLVE TO:
  2103.  
  2104. 28 EXT. PITCH AND PUTT GOLF COURSE - LOS FELIZ - DAY 28
  2105.  
  2106. Establishing shot of MIKE and ROB teeing off with nine irons.
  2107.  
  2108. Rob wears a Yale sweatshirt. Mike wears one from Queens
  2109. College. A Mets cap shades his eyes. Neither have shaved
  2110. and, odds are, neither showered. They each carry a loose
  2111. nine blade and putter as they wander to their lie.
  2112.  
  2113. ROB
  2114. I don't think I'm gonna take it.
  2115.  
  2116. MIKE
  2117. I's a gig.
  2118.  
  2119. ROB
  2120. I mean, I need the money.
  2121.  
  2122. MIKE
  2123. You're an actor. Find the Zen in the
  2124. role.
  2125.  
  2126. ROB
  2127. It's definitely a step back for me.
  2128.  
  2129. MIKE
  2130. Look, there's not much of a call for
  2131. Shakespeare in this town.
  2132.  
  2133. ROB
  2134. There's just something about being
  2135. "Goofy". Any other Disney character
  2136. would be fine. There's just this stigma
  2137. associated with the character.
  2138.  
  2139. MIKE
  2140. What do you want? You're tall.
  2141.  
  2142. ROB
  2143. Do you realize how hard it's going to be
  2144. to tell my parents? I still haven't told
  2145. them I didn't get the pilot.
  2146.  
  2147. MIKE
  2148. You tested over a month ago. I'm sure
  2149. they figured it out by now.
  2150.  
  2151. ROB
  2152. It's like "Hi, Mom. I'm not going to be
  2153. starring in that sit-com and, oh by the
  2154. way, I'm Goofy. Send more money."
  2155.  
  2156. They split up and both over-chip the green miserably.
  2157.  
  2158. CUT TO:
  2159.  
  2160. 29 EXT. PUTTING GREEN - PITCH AND PUTT GOLF COURSE - SAME 29
  2161.  
  2162. Mike and Rob putt.
  2163.  
  2164. MIKE
  2165. Haven't you noticed I didn't mention
  2166. Michelle once today?
  2167.  
  2168. ROB
  2169. I didn't want to say anything.
  2170.  
  2171. MIKE
  2172. Why?
  2173.  
  2174. ROB
  2175. I don't know. It's like not talking to
  2176. a pitcher in the midst of a no hitter.
  2177.  
  2178. MIKE
  2179. What? Like, you didn't want to jinx it?
  2180.  
  2181. ROB
  2182. Kinda.
  2183.  
  2184. MIKE
  2185. I don't talk about her that much.
  2186.  
  2187. ROB
  2188. Oh no?
  2189.  
  2190. MIKE
  2191. I didn't mention her once today.
  2192.  
  2193. ROB
  2194. Well, until now. Tend the pin.
  2195.  
  2196. Mike pulls out the flag for Rob's putt. He misses.
  2197.  
  2198. MIKE
  2199. The only reason I mentioned her at all is
  2200. to say that I'm not going to talk about
  2201. her anymore. I thought you'd appreciate
  2202. that.
  2203.  
  2204. ROB
  2205. I do. Good for you, man.
  2206.  
  2207. MIKE
  2208. I've decided to get out there.
  2209. (re: the ball)
  2210. Go ahead. Play it out.
  2211.  
  2212. Rob putts the "gimme". He misses by an inch.
  2213.  
  2214. MIKE
  2215. I'm not making any more excuses for
  2216. myself.
  2217.  
  2218. Rob taps it in. He tends the pin or Mike, who misses.
  2219.  
  2220. ROB
  2221. Good to hear, Mikey.
  2222.  
  2223. Mike putts again, and misses.
  2224.  
  2225. MIKE
  2226. You want to hit the town tonight?
  2227.  
  2228. ROB
  2229. I shouldn't, Mike, it's a weeknight.
  2230.  
  2231. MIKE
  2232. What do you have? A Pluto call back?
  2233.  
  2234. ROB
  2235. Sure. Kick me when I'm down.
  2236.  
  2237. Mike plunks it in.
  2238.  
  2239. MIKE
  2240. Count 'em up.
  2241.  
  2242. The two of them count and recount as they revisualize each
  2243. shot in their head. Throughout the process they count under
  2244. their breath and point to different parts of the fairway and
  2245. green.
  2246.  
  2247. The two of them revolve, point, and mumble for an absurdly
  2248. long amount of time until finally...
  2249.  
  2250. ROB
  2251. How many strokes?
  2252.  
  2253. MIKE
  2254. I don't know. Eight or Nine.
  2255.  
  2256. ROB
  2257. I'll give you an eight.
  2258. (writes score)
  2259.  
  2260. MIKE
  2261. What'd you get?
  2262.  
  2263. ROB
  2264. An eight.
  2265.  
  2266. MIKE
  2267. Looks like we're in a dead heat after one
  2268. hole. This is turning into quite a
  2269. rivalry.
  2270.  
  2271. Rob points to the far-off crowd of a dozen IRATE GOLFERS
  2272. Waiting to tee off.
  2273.  
  2274. ROB
  2275. You better replace the pin, Chi-Chi. The
  2276. natives look restless.
  2277.  
  2278. CUT TO:
  2279.  
  2280. 30 INT. SUE'S APARTMENT - HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD - EVENING 30
  2281.  
  2282. First of all, SUE is a guy, and a tough guy at that. He is
  2283. wearing an L.A. Kings home jersey. His sweater bears the
  2284. sacred number "99". Sue is lounging in front of the TV in
  2285. army surplus khaki cutoffs and untied Doc Martin boots.
  2286.  
  2287. Sue brushes back a shock of straight, greasy, dirty blonde
  2288. hair as not to obscure his view of the screen. His face
  2289. glows with the reflection of the SEGA HOCKEY game on the set.
  2290. Sue and TRENT are locked in a heavily contested battle of
  2291. motor reflexes. Nothing moves but their eyes, thumbs, and
  2292. mouths...
  2293.  
  2294. SUE
  2295. Bitch... You little bitch!
  2296.  
  2297. TRENT
  2298. Chelios to Roenick...!
  2299.  
  2300. MIKE looks on. He is more captivated with the simulated
  2301. sporting event than the Clippers game on the TV across the
  2302. room.
  2303.  
  2304. Electric guitars blaze over the stereo.
  2305.  
  2306. The room, like the guys, could use a spring cleaning. Pizza
  2307. boxes, beer bottles, and full, full ashtrays. You can taste
  2308. the smoke.
  2309.  
  2310. SUE
  2311. You little bitch!
  2312.  
  2313. MIKE
  2314. Hey Sue. Gretsky's on his ass again.
  2315.  
  2316. TRENT
  2317. Because he's a bitch.
  2318.  
  2319. SUE
  2320. That's so bullshit. This is so bullshit.
  2321.  
  2322. MIKE
  2323. You should play another team. The Kings
  2324. are bitches in this game.
  2325.  
  2326. SUE
  2327. Hey, man. I took the Kings to the Cup.
  2328.  
  2329. TRENT
  2330. ... against the computer.
  2331.  
  2332. SUE
  2333. They're a finesse team...
  2334.  
  2335. TRENT
  2336. They're a bitch team... SCORE!
  2337. Roenick!
  2338.  
  2339. SUE
  2340. Fuck!!! That is so bullshit!
  2341.  
  2342. MIKE
  2343. Give it up, Sue.
  2344.  
  2345. The PHONE RINGS. Sue picks it up and balances it on his
  2346. shoulder as he plays.
  2347.  
  2348. SUE
  2349. Hello?
  2350. (re: game)
  2351. Shit!
  2352. (back to phone)
  2353. Yeah. The elevator doesn't work.
  2354. (he lets the phone drop. Then
  2355. to Mike)
  2356. It's Pink Dot. Buzz him in - hit nine.
  2357.  
  2358. Mike picks up the phone off the matted shag carpet. He
  2359. pushes "9", listens, then hangs up.
  2360.  
  2361. TRENT
  2362. I wish the game still had fights so I
  2363. could bitch-slap Wayne.
  2364.  
  2365. MIKE
  2366. This version doesn't have fighting?
  2367.  
  2368. TRENT
  2369. No. Doesn't that suck?
  2370.  
  2371. MIKE
  2372. What? That was the best part of the old
  2373. game.
  2374.  
  2375. SUE
  2376. I don't know. I guess kids were hitting
  2377. each other or something.
  2378.  
  2379. TRENT
  2380. You could make their heads bleed, though.
  2381.  
  2382. SUE
  2383. Yeah... If you hit them hard their heads
  2384. bleed all over the ice and their legs
  2385. convulse.
  2386.  
  2387. MIKE
  2388. No.
  2389.  
  2390. TRENT
  2391. Yeah.
  2392.  
  2393. SUE
  2394. It's kinda money, actually.
  2395.  
  2396. MIKE
  2397. Make someone bleed.
  2398.  
  2399. SUE
  2400. No, man, we're in the play-offs.
  2401.  
  2402. TRENT
  2403. I'll make Gretsky bleed, the little
  2404. bitch.
  2405.  
  2406. The DELIVERY MAN knocks on the door.
  2407.  
  2408. SUE
  2409. Pause it.
  2410. (Trent pauses the game)
  2411.  
  2412. MIKE
  2413. Give me the money. I'll get it.
  2414.  
  2415. While Sue gives Mike the money, Trent UNPAUSES the game and
  2416. checks Gretsky into the boards, leaving him writhing in a
  2417. pool of red pixels.
  2418.  
  2419. SUE
  2420. You bitch!
  2421.  
  2422. Sue dives onto Trent. They wrestle a little too
  2423. rambunctiously for indoors. Trent pulls the hockey sweater
  2424. over Sue's head and starts wailing on his back.
  2425.  
  2426. Mike crosses. The CAMERA follows him down a shallow hallway
  2427. to the door. He unlocks it.
  2428.  
  2429. A delivery man of eastern-hemispheric decent is out of breath
  2430. from four flights of stairs. He hands Mike a twelve-pack of
  2431. Bud cans and three packs of Marlboro reds.
  2432.  
  2433. He can HEAR, but NOT SEE, the chaos ensuing in the living
  2434. room.
  2435.  
  2436. CUT TO:
  2437.  
  2438. 31 INT. SUE'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 31
  2439.  
  2440. Trent and Sue are flushed. They pause long enough to torment
  2441. Mike.
  2442.  
  2443. TRENT
  2444. (feigning homosexuality)
  2445. Is he cute? Ask him if he wants to stay
  2446. for a cocktail!
  2447.  
  2448. SUE
  2449. (following suit)
  2450. ... Is he brown?
  2451.  
  2452. BACK TO:
  2453.  
  2454. 32 INT. SUE'S DOORWAY - CONTINUOUS 32
  2455.  
  2456. Mike forces an apologetic smile. He is embarrassed. The
  2457. delivery man doesn't seem to understand any of this.
  2458.  
  2459. Mike, out of guilt, hands him a four dollar tip. This he
  2460. seems to understand. He smiles and leaves.
  2461.  
  2462. Mike crosses back to the main room.
  2463.  
  2464. MIKE
  2465. You guys are such assholes.
  2466.  
  2467. TRENT
  2468. (continuing the gag)
  2469. Aww... He got away?
  2470.  
  2471. SUE
  2472. (untangling himself from
  2473. Trent)
  2474. Gimme my reds. I've been jonesing for an
  2475. hour.
  2476.  
  2477. Mike throws him a pack of smokes, which he unravels with
  2478. surgical precision.
  2479.  
  2480. Cans of beer are tossed around and cracked.
  2481.  
  2482. MIKE
  2483. What time's this party tonight?
  2484.  
  2485. TRENT
  2486. It starts at eight...
  2487.  
  2488. SUE
  2489. ... which means no one will get there
  2490. 'til ten.
  2491.  
  2492. MIKE
  2493. So, what? Eleven?
  2494.  
  2495. TRENT & SUE
  2496. Midnight.
  2497.  
  2498. MIKE
  2499. I'm gonna bring and old friend who just
  2500. moved out here.
  2501.  
  2502. TRENT
  2503. Who? Rob?
  2504.  
  2505. MIKE
  2506. Yeah. You met him once.
  2507.  
  2508. TRENT
  2509. (approvingly)
  2510. Yeah. He's a "rounder".
  2511.  
  2512. SUE
  2513. What's he do?
  2514.  
  2515. MIKE
  2516. He's trying to be an actor.
  2517.  
  2518. TRENT
  2519. What a surprise...
  2520.  
  2521. SUE
  2522. ... How novel.
  2523.  
  2524. CUT TO:
  2525.  
  2526. 33 EXT. DARK ALLEY - OFF OF HOLLYWOOD BLVD. - SEEDY - NIGHT 33
  2527.  
  2528. MIKE and ROB walk down the dirty deserted alleyway. Mike is
  2529. wearing baggy slacks, Doc Martin shoes, and an oversized
  2530. Eisenhower-cut jacket with a vertical stripe inset. The
  2531. collar is large and pointy, but definitely not seventies.
  2532. His ensemble has more of an early sixties vibe.
  2533.  
  2534. Rob hasn't been at it quite as long. He's wearing worn-in
  2535. Levies over worn-in boots and, the nineties standby, an
  2536. untucked flannel.
  2537.  
  2538. Mike walks with purpose. He intermittently tries to pull
  2539. open locked steel doors along the alley. Rob looks confused.
  2540.  
  2541. ROB
  2542. So, if the party starts at eight, why are
  2543. we first going to a bar at ten?
  2544.  
  2545. MIKE
  2546. To get a drink before we meet the guys
  2547. for a bite at eleven.
  2548.  
  2549. ROB
  2550. Oh.
  2551. (beat)
  2552. Where is this place?
  2553.  
  2554. MIKE
  2555. (pulling handle)
  2556. It's one of these. For some reason, cool
  2557. bars in L.A. have to be very hard to find
  2558. and have no signs out front.
  2559.  
  2560. ROB
  2561. That doesn't sound too good for business.
  2562.  
  2563. MIKE
  2564. (pull)
  2565. It's kinda like a speakeasy kind of
  2566. thing. It's kinda cool. It's like
  2567. you're in on some kind of secret. You
  2568. tell a chick you've been some place, it's
  2569. like bragging that you know how to find
  2570. it. The only way you could know where a
  2571. place is is if someone who knows brought
  2572. you there. You have to have someone come
  2573. before. There is a direct line
  2574. connecting you back to the original,
  2575. unequivocally cool, club patrons. It's
  2576. kinda like Judaism...
  2577.  
  2578. ROB
  2579. Sounds more like Aids...
  2580.  
  2581. MIKE
  2582. ... That's probably a more appropriate
  2583. analogy.
  2584.  
  2585. At this point they come upon an unmarked BLACK METAL DOOR,
  2586. which Mike successfully pulls open to reveal...
  2587.  
  2588. 34 INT. "THE ROOM" - HOLLYWOOD BAR - SAME 34
  2589.  
  2590. A smoke-filled, windowless, black-walled room. There are
  2591. several round padded booths lining the walls. The place is
  2592. packed, and the funk standard "Brick House" throbs over the
  2593. P.A..
  2594.  
  2595. A HANDHELD SHOT as the two guys serpentine to the mirrored
  2596. bar at the far end of the room. Enshrined in its center is
  2597. a framed photograph of SINATRA smiling in approval as he
  2598. presides over the evening's activities.
  2599.  
  2600. Mike proudly points out the photo to Rob.
  2601.  
  2602. MIKE
  2603. Kinda money, huh?
  2604.  
  2605. ROB
  2606. (smiling)
  2607. Classy.
  2608.  
  2609. Mike catches the attention of a cute female BARTENDER.
  2610.  
  2611. MIKE
  2612. I'll get a Dewars rocks...
  2613. (looks to Rob)
  2614.  
  2615. ROB
  2616. Bud.
  2617.  
  2618. MIKE
  2619. ...A Dewars on the rocks and a Bud,
  2620. please.
  2621.  
  2622. She goes.
  2623. ROB
  2624. I can't get over how cute the girls in
  2625. this city are.
  2626.  
  2627. MIKE
  2628. I know. It's like the opposite of
  2629. inbreeding. The hottest one percent from
  2630. around the world migrate to this gene
  2631. pool.
  2632.  
  2633. ROB
  2634. Darwinism at its best.
  2635.  
  2636. MIKE
  2637. I've been around here six months and I
  2638. still can't get over it.
  2639.  
  2640. ROB
  2641. It's like, every day I see a beautiful
  2642. woman. I'm not used to that. I'm used
  2643. to seeing a beautiful woman, I don't
  2644. know, once a week. I can't handle it.
  2645.  
  2646. MIKE
  2647. Wait till summer. I swear, you can't
  2648. leave the house. It hurts. It
  2649. physically hurts.
  2650.  
  2651. ROB
  2652. I can't wait till I actually get to touch
  2653. one of them.
  2654.  
  2655. MIKE
  2656. Ah, there's the rub...
  2657.  
  2658. ROB
  2659. There's the rub.
  2660.  
  2661. The bartender serves them their drinks.
  2662.  
  2663. CHARLES
  2664. (o.s.)
  2665. Whassup Mikey?
  2666.  
  2667. Mike turns to see CHARLES. A young black man with a tight
  2668. Dolomite fro. He wears a black leather blazer over a black
  2669. turtleneck. Just look up "cool" in the dictionary.
  2670.  
  2671. A handshake turns into a hug.
  2672.  
  2673. MIKE
  2674. Charles! What's up, man?
  2675.  
  2676. CHARLES
  2677. Oh. You know.
  2678.  
  2679. MIKE
  2680. Did you, um, did you get that pilot?
  2681.  
  2682. CHARLES
  2683. No, man. I know you didn't get it 'cause
  2684. you wouldn't've asked me. It wasn't that
  2685. funny anyway...
  2686.  
  2687. MIKE
  2688. ... piece of shit. Listen, Charles, this
  2689. is my friend Rob from Back East.
  2690.  
  2691. Shake.
  2692.  
  2693. CHARLES
  2694. Hi.
  2695.  
  2696. ROB
  2697. My pleasure.
  2698.  
  2699. MIKE
  2700. Charles and me went to network on this
  2701. pilot together.
  2702.  
  2703. ROB
  2704. I just tested for one...
  2705.  
  2706. MIKE
  2707. ... yeah, a month ago.
  2708.  
  2709. CHARLES
  2710. Oh, I'm sorry. How'd your folks take it?
  2711.  
  2712. ROB
  2713. I haven't heard an official "no" yet.
  2714.  
  2715. CHARLES
  2716. You haven't told then, huh?
  2717.  
  2718. ROB
  2719. No.
  2720.  
  2721. CHARLES
  2722. I still haven't told my folks I didn't
  2723. get "Deepspace 9". You'd think they'd'a
  2724. figured it out by now, but Mom keeps
  2725. asking...
  2726.  
  2727. MIKE
  2728. ... and boy does it hurt when they ask.
  2729.  
  2730. CHARLES
  2731. I don't even tell them about anything I'm
  2732. close on anymore...
  2733.  
  2734. MIKE
  2735. ... not until you book it...
  2736.  
  2737. CHARLES
  2738. ... and even then...
  2739.  
  2740. MIKE
  2741. ... you might get cut out.
  2742.  
  2743. ROB
  2744. I'm considering taking a job as a
  2745. "Goofy".
  2746.  
  2747. CHARLES
  2748. Hey, man. At least it's Disney.
  2749.  
  2750. MIKE
  2751. You want to come with us to a party at
  2752. the Chateau Marmont? They got a bungalow
  2753. and lots of beautiful babies.
  2754.  
  2755. CHARLES
  2756. (yelling over the roar of the
  2757. wall to wall crowd)
  2758. Why not? This place is dead anyway.
  2759.  
  2760. CUT TO:
  2761.  
  2762. 35 INT. "SWINGERS DINER" - BEVERLY BLVD. - LATER THAT NIGHT 35
  2763.  
  2764. MIKE, TRENT, SUE, CHARLES, and ROB sit around the round
  2765. scotch-plaid corner booth of the retro-hip coffee shop. All
  2766. of our boys, with the exception of Rob, are classily dressed.
  2767. They wear a lot of black, brown, and gray with a splash of
  2768. gold and maroon.
  2769.  
  2770. The CAMERA REVOLVES around the table in a repeating
  2771. "Reservoir Dogs" style over the shoulder 360 DEGREE PAN.
  2772.  
  2773. TRENT
  2774. ... No, baby. I got a better one. You
  2775. gotta admit the steadycam shot in
  2776. "Goodfellas" was the money...
  2777.  
  2778. ROB
  2779. ... through the basement of that
  2780. restaurant...
  2781.  
  2782. MIKE
  2783. ... the Copa, in New York...
  2784.  
  2785. TRENT
  2786. ... through the kitchen...
  2787.  
  2788. CHARLES
  2789. ... I heard it took four days to light
  2790. for that shot...
  2791.  
  2792. ROB
  2793. ... Four days..?
  2794.  
  2795. SUE
  2796. ... I don't know about four days...
  2797.  
  2798. CHARLES
  2799. ... That's what I heard...
  2800.  
  2801. MIKE
  2802. ... Maybe. I mean you gotta hide all the
  2803. lights...
  2804.  
  2805. TRENT
  2806. ... It looked money.
  2807.  
  2808. SUE
  2809. ... Not as money as the shot from
  2810. Reservoir Dogs...
  2811.  
  2812. ROB
  2813. ... Which one?
  2814.  
  2815. SUE
  2816. ... In the beginning. When they're
  2817. walking in slow motion...
  2818.  
  2819. MIKE
  2820. ... How can you compare them? Tarantino
  2821. totally bites everything from Scorsese...
  2822.  
  2823. SUE
  2824. ... He's derivative...
  2825.  
  2826. TRENT
  2827. ... You gotta admit, it looked money...
  2828.  
  2829. CHARLES
  2830. .... I heard they made that whole movie
  2831. for ten grand...
  2832.  
  2833. ROB
  2834. ... What's the big deal? Everyone steals
  2835. from everyone.
  2836.  
  2837. MIKE
  2838. (checking his watch)
  2839. Well, let's hit that party.
  2840.  
  2841. CUT TO:
  2842.  
  2843. 36 EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - HEADLIGHTS AND NEON - NIGHT 36
  2844.  
  2845. The five swingers walk down the boulevard in a SLO-MO SHOT
  2846. which is extremely "derivative" of the "Reservoir Dogs"
  2847. credit sequence.
  2848.  
  2849. The scene is choreographed to Bennett's big band arrangement
  2850. of "O SOLE MIO".
  2851.  
  2852. CUT TO:
  2853.  
  2854. 37 EXT. CHATEAU MARMONT BUNGALOW - OUTSIDE THE PARTY - MIDNIGHT 37
  2855.  
  2856. Muffled music seeps through the door. The swingers turn the
  2857. knob and enter...
  2858.  
  2859. 38 INT. THE PARTY - CHATEAU MARMONT BUNGALOW - SAME 38
  2860.  
  2861. The huge sunken living room is packed with people congealed
  2862. into circles of conversation and sipping cocktails.
  2863.  
  2864. EVERYTHING STOPS when they enter. The music, the
  2865. conversations, all movement, everything.
  2866.  
  2867. Everyone in the room STARES at them standing in the doorway.
  2868.  
  2869. Beat.
  2870.  
  2871. The music starts back up and everyone returns to their
  2872. conversations.
  2873.  
  2874. The swingers weave their way through the crowd to...
  2875.  
  2876. 39 INT. THE BAR AREA - THE BUNGALOW KITCHEN - SAME 39
  2877.  
  2878. The swingers fix themselves drinks from an assortment of
  2879. bottles cluttering the table. The shamelessly paw at the
  2880. top shelf brands.
  2881.  
  2882. MIKE
  2883. Who threw this party, anyway?
  2884.  
  2885. SUE
  2886. Damned if I know...
  2887.  
  2888. TRENT
  2889. ... Beats me...
  2890.  
  2891. CHARLES
  2892. ... I came with you.
  2893.  
  2894. With that, the three of them peel off to work the room.
  2895.  
  2896. ROB
  2897. What's that guy's name? Sue?
  2898.  
  2899. MIKE
  2900. Sue. His dad was big Johnny Cash fan.
  2901.  
  2902. ROB
  2903. Oh, like that song...
  2904.  
  2905. MIKE
  2906. ... "A Boy Named Sue". I think that's
  2907. why he's such a bad cat.
  2908.  
  2909. ROB
  2910. Him?
  2911.  
  2912. MIKE
  2913. He's a mean dude. I've seen him smash a
  2914. guy's face into the curb. He knocked out
  2915. his teeth... blood... He was just like
  2916. Boom, Boom, Boom... fuckin nasty shit,
  2917. man. He's a nice guy though.
  2918.  
  2919. CUT TO:
  2920.  
  2921. 40 INT. LIVING ROOM - BUNGALOW - SAME 40
  2922.  
  2923. Trent and Sue are scouting some LADIES across the room. One
  2924. wears a FUNKY OVERSIZED HAT. Intermittent eye contact has
  2925. been established.
  2926.  
  2927. TRENT
  2928. Oh, it's on, baby...
  2929.  
  2930. SUE
  2931. ... It's on.
  2932.  
  2933. BACK TO:
  2934.  
  2935. 41 INT. LIVING ROOM - BUNGALOW - SAME 41
  2936.  
  2937. Mike and Rob have come back into the room. They scout the
  2938. terrain.
  2939.  
  2940. MIKE
  2941. There are so many beautiful women here.
  2942.  
  2943. ROB
  2944. It's unbelievable.
  2945.  
  2946. MIKE
  2947. I got to at least try once.
  2948.  
  2949. ROB
  2950. You're a better man than I am, Charlie
  2951. Brown.
  2952.  
  2953. MIKE
  2954. No, I just promised myself I'd give it a
  2955. try. I gotta get out there sooner or
  2956. later.
  2957.  
  2958. ROB
  2959. Go for it, man.
  2960.  
  2961. Mike spots a pair of beautiful BLONDES in black. They're
  2962. wearing stretch bell-bottoms and tops that expose their mid-
  2963. drifts. The seventies never looked so good.
  2964.  
  2965. MIKE
  2966. (indicating the ladies)
  2967. I'm going in. Will you be my wing-man?
  2968.  
  2969. ROB
  2970. I'll be your winger.
  2971.  
  2972. They make the approach. With a great deal of effort, Mike
  2973. catches their attention...
  2974.  
  2975. MIKE
  2976. Good evening, ladies...
  2977.  
  2978. ... only to be interrupted by the party STOPPING to check
  2979. another entrance.
  2980.  
  2981. Beat.
  2982.  
  2983. The party RESUMES and the blondes redirect their attention to
  2984. Mike. He is a little put-off but, God love him, he gets back
  2985. in there.
  2986.  
  2987. MIKE
  2988. How are you ladies doing this evening?
  2989.  
  2990. BLONDE
  2991. What do you drive?
  2992.  
  2993. MIKE
  2994. I'm sorry?
  2995.  
  2996. BLONDE
  2997. What kind of car do you drive?
  2998.  
  2999. MIKE
  3000. Oh... a Cavalier.
  3001.  
  3002. The blondes immediately enter back into their conversation as
  3003. if they were never approached.
  3004.  
  3005. Mike and Rob exchange defeated glances.
  3006.  
  3007. One more try.
  3008.  
  3009. MIKE
  3010. ... It's red?
  3011.  
  3012. CUT TO:
  3013.  
  3014. 42 INT. LIVING ROOM - BUNGALOW - CONTINUOUS 42
  3015.  
  3016. Trent and Sue are trying to look like they're not paying
  3017. attention to the group of ladies they saw across the room.
  3018.  
  3019. TRENT
  3020. Is she looking at me, baby?
  3021.  
  3022. SUE
  3023. No.
  3024.  
  3025. TRENT
  3026. Now?
  3027.  
  3028. SUE
  3029. No.
  3030.  
  3031. TRENT
  3032. Is she looking now?
  3033.  
  3034. SUE
  3035. No! She's not looking at you. She
  3036. hasn't looked at you once. Will you stop
  3037. asking if... Wait, she just looked.
  3038.  
  3039. TRENT
  3040. See, baby?
  3041.  
  3042. Mike and Rob walk up to Trent and Sue.
  3043.  
  3044. MIKE
  3045. How you guys doing?
  3046.  
  3047. TRENT
  3048. It's on.
  3049.  
  3050. MIKE
  3051. Which one?
  3052.  
  3053. TRENT
  3054. (indicated the group of girls
  3055. with a subtle head move)
  3056. Minnie Pearl.
  3057.  
  3058. Mike and Rob STARE DIRECTLY at the girls like a deer in the
  3059. headlights... a big no-no.
  3060.  
  3061. MIKE
  3062. The one in the hat? She's cute.
  3063.  
  3064. Trent and Sue react with frustrated disappointment.
  3065.  
  3066. TRENT
  3067. What are you doing?
  3068.  
  3069. MIKE
  3070. What?
  3071.  
  3072. TRENT
  3073. You looked right at her, baby.
  3074.  
  3075. MIKE
  3076. She didn't notice.
  3077.  
  3078. SUE
  3079. Yes she did.
  3080.  
  3081. TRENT
  3082. Damn. Now I gotta go in early.
  3083.  
  3084. MIKE
  3085. I'm sorry.
  3086.  
  3087. TRENT
  3088. Don't sweat it, baby. This one's a lay-
  3089. up.
  3090.  
  3091. Trent crosses away.
  3092.  
  3093. SUE
  3094. How's it going for you two?
  3095.  
  3096. MIKE
  3097. Not well.
  3098.  
  3099. SUE
  3100. Rejected?
  3101.  
  3102. ROB
  3103. Shaqed.
  3104.  
  3105. Mike's P.O.V. of Trent passing near and the GIRL IN THE HAT.
  3106. He says something, smiles, and points to her hat. She
  3107. laughs.
  3108.  
  3109. SUE
  3110. Well, just watch the T-bone and learn.
  3111.  
  3112. CUT TO:
  3113.  
  3114. 43 INT. LIVING ROOM - TRENT'S CONVERSATION - CONTINUOUS 43
  3115.  
  3116. Trent is having a sensitive one-on-one with the girl in the
  3117. hat.
  3118.  
  3119. GIRL IN HAT
  3120. ... I've always wanted to be an actress,
  3121. at least as long as I could remember. I
  3122. went to...
  3123.  
  3124. Under Trent's affirmative response we hear the first haunting
  3125. TUBA PULSE of the JAWS THEME:
  3126.  
  3127. TRENT
  3128. (nodding in agreement)
  3129. Uhhhh... Huuuhhh.
  3130.  
  3131. CUT TO:
  3132.  
  3133. CLOSE UP of MIKE'S FACE as he looks on in HORRIFIED AWE from
  3134. afar.
  3135.  
  3136. BACK TO:
  3137.  
  3138. 44 INT. LIVING ROOM - TRENT'S CONVERSATION - CONTINUOUS 44
  3139.  
  3140. GIRL WITH CIGAR
  3141. ... Then one day after class my drama
  3142. teacher, the one who directed the play,
  3143. said he thought I should...
  3144.  
  3145. The second TUBA PULSE accompanies Trent's sound of agreement:
  3146.  
  3147. TRENT
  3148. Uhhh... Huuhh.
  3149.  
  3150. BACK TO:
  3151.  
  3152. EXTREME CLOSE UP of MIKE'S HORRIFIED EYES.
  3153.  
  3154. BACK TO:
  3155.  
  3156. 45 INT. LIVING ROOM - TRENT'S CONVERSATION - CONTINUOUS 45
  3157.  
  3158. GIRL WITH CIGAR
  3159. ... I met with an agent last week and I'm
  3160. waiting to hear...
  3161.  
  3162. The third, and progressively faster, TUBA PULSE sounds under
  3163. Trent's response as the JAWS THEME begins to speed up and
  3164. fill out:
  3165.  
  3166. TRENT
  3167. Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh...
  3168.  
  3169. CUT TO:
  3170.  
  3171. Mike, Rob, and Sue look on.
  3172.  
  3173. SUE
  3174. Here comes the kill...
  3175.  
  3176. MATCH CUT TO:
  3177.  
  3178. The group's P.O.V. of the conversation.
  3179.  
  3180. The JAWS THEME reaches its violent crescendo as the girl
  3181. looks into her purse.
  3182.  
  3183. Trent winks to the boys. Smooth.
  3184.  
  3185. She comes up with a pen and writes our her phone number.
  3186.  
  3187. Trent crosses back as the music dies away.
  3188.  
  3189. Using his body as a shield so the girl can't see, but so his
  3190. boys can, he rips up and drops the number as he approaches
  3191. them.
  3192.  
  3193. TRENT
  3194. Was I money?
  3195.  
  3196. MIKE
  3197. I don't know. It was kind of a dick move
  3198. if you ask me.
  3199.  
  3200. TRENT
  3201. Why, baby? What'd I do wrong?
  3202.  
  3203. MIKE
  3204. You asked her for her number, and then
  3205. you tore it up.
  3206.  
  3207. TRENT
  3208. She didn't see.
  3209.  
  3210. MIKE
  3211. That doesn't matter.
  3212.  
  3213. SUE
  3214. That was pretty cold, dude.
  3215.  
  3216. TRENT
  3217. What was cold about it?
  3218.  
  3219. The door opens. The party PAUSES to look, then RESUMES.
  3220.  
  3221. TRENT
  3222. She offered me her number. What should
  3223. I have said? "No"? That would've hurt
  3224. her feelings. This way she feels like
  3225. the winner.
  3226.  
  3227. Trent smiles and waves to her across the room. She coyly
  3228. waves back and makes a "phone sign" with her hand. Trent
  3229. nods and smiles.
  3230.  
  3231. TRENT
  3232. Tee can't roll with that, she's "business
  3233. class".
  3234.  
  3235. ROB
  3236. "Business class"?
  3237.  
  3238. SUE
  3239. (explaining to Rob)
  3240. Big butt... you know, can't fly coach.
  3241.  
  3242. MIKE
  3243. I can't believe you.
  3244.  
  3245. Charles approaches the crew.
  3246.  
  3247. CHARLES
  3248. They're out of Glenlivet.
  3249.  
  3250. MIKE
  3251. What else is going on?
  3252.  
  3253. TRENT
  3254. We could hit the Dresden.
  3255.  
  3256. Overhead LONG SHOT of the swingers entrenched in the CROWDED
  3257. PARTY.
  3258.  
  3259. SUE
  3260. Yeah. This place is dead, anyway.
  3261.  
  3262. CUT TO:
  3263.  
  3264. 46 EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - OUTSIDE THE CHATEAU MARMONT - NIGHT 46
  3265.  
  3266. The swingers have left the party and are heading to their
  3267. cars. They are all parked in a row, one behind the other.
  3268. They each climb behind the wheel of their own car. They pull
  3269. out in UNISON.
  3270.  
  3271. They travel like a train with their bumpers ALMOST TOUCHING.
  3272.  
  3273. CUT TO:
  3274.  
  3275. 47 EXT. HOLLYWOOD STREETS - NIGHT 47
  3276.  
  3277. SHOTS of the CAR-TRAIN driving and making turns.
  3278.  
  3279. "O SOLE MIO" reprise.
  3280.  
  3281. DISSOLVE TO:
  3282.  
  3283. 48 EXT. THE DRESDEN - VERMONT AVE. - HOLLYWOOD - NIGHT 48
  3284.  
  3285. The car-train BREAKS UP to nose-in park behind the bar. They
  3286. all "club" their steering wheels.
  3287.  
  3288. CUT TO:
  3289.  
  3290. 49 INT. "THE DRESDEN ROOM" - SAME 49
  3291.  
  3292. The SWINGERS lounge in a booth against the cork-paneled wall,
  3293. sipping cocktails. They watch MARTY and ELAYNE, the resident
  3294. lounge act, perform a jazz fusion cover of "Staying Alive" on
  3295. synth and upright bass. The seventies are alive and well
  3296. here, but they're starting to yellow around the edges...
  3297.  
  3298. The room is busy, but not packed.
  3299.  
  3300. The swingers have all had a few.
  3301.  
  3302. CHARLES
  3303. I know what you're saying, man. I don't
  3304. know what to tell you...
  3305.  
  3306. ROB
  3307. ... I mean, does it have to be "Goofy"?
  3308. I was playing Hamlet off-Broadway two
  3309. months ago, for crying out loud...
  3310.  
  3311. Trent and Sue are involved in a different conversation. They
  3312. are observing two HOT GIRLS at another cocktail table.
  3313.  
  3314. The girls are wearing short plaid skirts with black stockings
  3315. pulled up to midthigh. It's the "catholic-school-girl-gone-
  3316. bad" look.
  3317.  
  3318. The girls are a little too touchy-feely with each other,
  3319. suggesting a certain sexual open-mindedness.
  3320.  
  3321. TRENT
  3322. It's on.
  3323.  
  3324. SUE
  3325. You think?
  3326.  
  3327. TRENT
  3328. Baby, I know it is. It's a black diamond
  3329. trail...
  3330.  
  3331. SUE
  3332. ... double diamond...
  3333.  
  3334. TRENT
  3335. ... but it's worth the risk. True or
  3336. false: It's worth the risk.
  3337.  
  3338. SUE
  3339. True.
  3340.  
  3341. As they get up to leave...
  3342.  
  3343. MIKE
  3344. God bless you guys.
  3345.  
  3346. They cross to the ladies.
  3347.  
  3348. Mike's P.O.V.
  3349.  
  3350. The girls seem at first cold, the receptive. Trent and Sue
  3351. join their table and share some laughs.
  3352.  
  3353. Mike half-heartedly looks on. He is obviously not happy with
  3354. where he stands on the bell-curve of masculinity.
  3355.  
  3356. Mike, looking for any kind of escape, crosses to the bar.
  3357.  
  3358. CUT TO:
  3359.  
  3360. 50 INT. BAR - DRESDEN ROOM - SAME 50
  3361.  
  3362. Mike unsuccessfully tries to catch the attention of the
  3363. middle aged BARTENDER.
  3364.  
  3365. MIKE
  3366. (to himself)
  3367. I can't even get this guy to notice me...
  3368.  
  3369. A cute BLONDE sitting at the bar chuckles at his comment.
  3370.  
  3371. Mike is at first self-conscious, then pushes ahead.
  3372.  
  3373. MIKE
  3374. You like laughing at the misery of
  3375. others?
  3376.  
  3377. BLONDE
  3378. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Let me
  3379. make it up to you.
  3380.  
  3381. She raises her finger and the bartender immediately
  3382. approaches.
  3383.  
  3384. BARTENDER
  3385. What can I get you?
  3386.  
  3387. MIKE
  3388. I'll have a Dewars on the rocks.
  3389.  
  3390. He goes to fix it.
  3391.  
  3392. MIKE
  3393. Thanks.
  3394.  
  3395. BLONDE
  3396. I've seen you somewhere...Where have I
  3397. seen you?
  3398.  
  3399. MIKE
  3400. You ever go to the Kelbo's? On Pico?
  3401.  
  3402. BLONDE
  3403. ... maybe...
  3404.  
  3405. MIKE
  3406. ... Monday nights? I host an open
  3407. mike...
  3408.  
  3409. BLONDE
  3410. You're a comedian?
  3411.  
  3412. MIKE
  3413. Yeah.
  3414.  
  3415. BLONDE
  3416. What's that like?
  3417.  
  3418. MIKE
  3419. (trying to bluff, not an ounce
  3420. of sarcasm)
  3421. Well, you know, it's tough. A lot of
  3422. traveling. A lot of hotels... but, you
  3423. know, it's a dream... and the money's
  3424. really good. I think I might buy another
  3425. really expensive imported car after my
  3426. next gig in Vegas...
  3427.  
  3428. BLONDE
  3429. (politely interrupting)
  3430. I know! Starbucks! I served you an
  3431. espresso at Starbucks.
  3432.  
  3433. MIKE
  3434. Are you sure? Maybe...
  3435.  
  3436. BLONDE
  3437. Yes! Remember? You asked me for an
  3438. application? I introduced you to the
  3439. manager?
  3440.  
  3441. MIKE
  3442. (trying to pull out of the
  3443. dive)
  3444. Oh, yeah... Boy, that must've been a
  3445. while ago.
  3446. BLONDE
  3447. I'd say about two weeks.
  3448.  
  3449. MIKE
  3450. Probably a little longer than that, but,
  3451. whatever.
  3452.  
  3453. BLONDE
  3454. (smiling at him)
  3455. You better pay the man.
  3456.  
  3457. Mike notices the bartender, who has been waiting patiently
  3458. with the drink.
  3459.  
  3460. MIKE
  3461. (fumbling with the money)
  3462. Oh... Sorry.
  3463.  
  3464. She chuckles. He pays and throws down a two-dollar tip
  3465. apologetically.
  3466.  
  3467. MIKE
  3468. (tactical retreat)
  3469. Well, thank you...?
  3470.  
  3471. BLONDE
  3472. Nikki.
  3473.  
  3474. MIKE
  3475. Thank you, Nikki.
  3476.  
  3477. He walks away kicking himself. He is interrupted by Trent
  3478. and Sue, who both hold up cocktail napkins with scribbles.
  3479.  
  3480. TRENT
  3481. We got the digits, baby.
  3482.  
  3483. MIKE
  3484. What a surprise.
  3485.  
  3486. TRENT
  3487. What's wrong? I saw you talking to that
  3488. beautiful blonde baby.
  3489.  
  3490. SUE
  3491. She was cute.
  3492.  
  3493. MIKE
  3494. She didn't like me... I made a fool of
  3495. myself...
  3496.  
  3497. TRENT
  3498. Baby, don't talk that way, baby...
  3499.  
  3500. SUE
  3501. You are so money, and you don't even know
  3502. it...
  3503.  
  3504. TRENT
  3505. That's what I keep trying to tell him.
  3506. (to Mike)
  3507. You're so money, you don't even know...
  3508.  
  3509. MIKE
  3510. Please, don't mess with me right now...
  3511.  
  3512. TRENT
  3513. We're not messing with you...
  3514.  
  3515. SUE
  3516. ... we're not...
  3517.  
  3518. TRENT
  3519. You're like this big beer with claws and
  3520. fangs...
  3521.  
  3522. SUE
  3523. ... and big fuckin' teeth...
  3524.  
  3525. TRENT
  3526. ... and teeth... And she's like this
  3527. little bunny cowering in the corner...
  3528.  
  3529. SUE
  3530. ...shivering...
  3531.  
  3532. TRENT
  3533. ... And you're just looking at your claws
  3534. like "How do I kill this bunny?"...
  3535.  
  3536. SUE
  3537. ...You're just poking at it...
  3538.  
  3539. TRENT
  3540. ... Yeah. You're just gently batting it
  3541. around... and the rabbit's all scared...
  3542.  
  3543. SUE
  3544. ... and you got big claws and fangs...
  3545.  
  3546. TRENT
  3547. ... and fangs... and you're like "I don't
  3548. know what to do. How do I kill this
  3549. bunny?"...
  3550.  
  3551. SUE
  3552. ... you're like a big bear.
  3553.  
  3554. Beat. Mike smiles.
  3555.  
  3556. MIKE
  3557. You're not just, like, fucking with me?
  3558.  
  3559. TRENT
  3560. No, baby!
  3561.  
  3562. SUE
  3563. ... honestly...
  3564.  
  3565. TRENT
  3566. ... you're money...
  3567.  
  3568. SUE
  3569. ... you're so fuckin mmmoney.
  3570.  
  3571. TRENT
  3572. Now go over there and get those digits.
  3573.  
  3574. SUE
  3575. You're money.
  3576.  
  3577. TRENT
  3578. (pulling him aside, dead
  3579. serious)
  3580. Now when you talk to her, I don't want
  3581. you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that
  3582. everyone's pulling for. I want you to be
  3583. the guy in the rated R movie who you're
  3584. not sure if you like.
  3585.  
  3586. Mike nods and, energized by the bombardment, crosses back to
  3587. the bar and right into the fray.
  3588.  
  3589. Trent and Sue rejoin the other swingers.
  3590.  
  3591. Swinger's P.O.V. of Mike decisively engaging her in
  3592. conversation.
  3593.  
  3594. She laughs.
  3595.  
  3596. Out comes the pen and the cocktail napkin. Bingo.
  3597.  
  3598. Mike crosses back to the swingers' table and, using his body
  3599. to shield Nikki's view, pretends to rip the napkin. This
  3600. breaks the guys up.
  3601.  
  3602. Mike sits down and, after admiring the blotchy numerals,
  3603. delicately folds the napkin and pockets it.
  3604.  
  3605. TRENT
  3606. See, baby. It's not that hard.
  3607.  
  3608. CHARLES
  3609. 818?
  3610.  
  3611. MIKE
  3612. 310.
  3613.  
  3614. Everyone reacts favorably to this area code.
  3615.  
  3616. MIKE
  3617. How long do I wait to call?
  3618.  
  3619. TRENT
  3620. A day.
  3621.  
  3622. MIKE
  3623. Tomorrow?
  3624.  
  3625. TRENT
  3626. No...
  3627.  
  3628. SUE
  3629. ... Tomorrow, then a day.
  3630.  
  3631. TRENT
  3632. ... Yeah.
  3633.  
  3634. MIKE
  3635. So, two days?
  3636.  
  3637. TRENT
  3638. Yeah. I guess you could call it that.
  3639.  
  3640. SUE
  3641. Definitely. Two days. That's the
  3642. industry standard...
  3643.  
  3644. TRENT
  3645. (to Sue. shop talk)
  3646. ... I used to wait two days. Now
  3647. everyone waits two days. Three days is
  3648. kinda money now, don't you think?
  3649.  
  3650. SUE
  3651. ... Yeah. But two's enough not to look
  3652. anxious...
  3653.  
  3654. TRENT
  3655. Yeah, but three days is kinda the
  3656. money...
  3657.  
  3658. MIKE
  3659. (interrupting sarcastically)
  3660. Why don't I just wait three weeks and
  3661. tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and
  3662. found her number...
  3663.  
  3664. CHARLES
  3665. ... then ask where you met her...
  3666.  
  3667. MIKE
  3668. Yeah, I'll tell her I don't remember and
  3669. then I'll ask what she looks like.
  3670. (pause)
  3671. Then I'll ask if we fucked. How's that,
  3672. Tee? Is that "the money"?
  3673.  
  3674. The guys laugh.
  3675.  
  3676. TRENT
  3677. Laugh all you want, but if you call to
  3678. soon you can scare off a nice baby who's
  3679. ready to party.
  3680.  
  3681. SUE
  3682. Don't listen to him. You call whenever
  3683. it feels right to you.
  3684.  
  3685. MIKE
  3686. How long are you guys gonna wait to call
  3687. your honeys?
  3688.  
  3689. TRENT & SUE
  3690. Six days.
  3691.  
  3692. CUT TO:
  3693.  
  3694. 51 EXT. THE DRESDEN - PARKING LOT - OUT BACK - NIGHT 51
  3695.  
  3696. The swingers are leaving through the back door. The doorway
  3697. is congested with another group of guys who are entering.
  3698.  
  3699. A BALD GUY with a goatee brushes by Sue.
  3700.  
  3701. SUE
  3702. Watch where you're going, asshole.
  3703.  
  3704. BALD GUY
  3705. What'd you say, bitch?
  3706.  
  3707. SUE
  3708. I said watch where you're going, bitch!
  3709.  
  3710. That's it. Now they're squaring off in the empty parking
  3711. lot.
  3712.  
  3713. All the bald guy's boys fall in behind him. All the swingers
  3714. fall in behind Sue. The swingers are not happy with Sue at
  3715. all.
  3716.  
  3717. The two cliques contrast each other in every way.
  3718.  
  3719. The bald guys all have facial hair and multiple pierced
  3720. extremities with the odd neck-tattoo thrown in for good
  3721. measure.
  3722.  
  3723. Baggy denim and boots. Pot leaves and Pumas. Long, heavy
  3724. key chains. Vintage 1994 whiteboy faux-gansta. They do,
  3725. however, look big and mean next to our boys.
  3726.  
  3727. The early sixties style sweater jackets and blazers over
  3728. button down shirts and tapered slacks don't quite have the
  3729. same fear factor, but the boys do look classy.
  3730.  
  3731. The word "bitch" is growled out by the two of them a half
  3732. dozen more times until...
  3733.  
  3734. Sue pulls a PISTOL out of his belt.
  3735.  
  3736. Everyone is SCARED. Especially the swingers.
  3737.  
  3738. SUE
  3739. Now what, bitch? Now who's the bitch,
  3740. bitch?
  3741.  
  3742. The bald guys HOLD UP THEIR HANDS and slowly back up to their
  3743. ride.
  3744.  
  3745. BALD GUY
  3746. Hey, man. I'm the bitch. I'm your
  3747. bitch, okay? We're just gonna leave.
  3748. Okay? I'm the bitch. I'm such a bitch,
  3749. I can't even begin to tell you...
  3750.  
  3751. They jump in the car and SPEED AWAY.
  3752.  
  3753. Sue belts the gun and stands tall like Clint.
  3754.  
  3755. TRENT
  3756. What the fuck..?
  3757.  
  3758. MIKE
  3759. What an asshole. Didn't you see "Boys in
  3760. the Hood"? Now one of us is gonna get
  3761. shot.
  3762.  
  3763. SUE
  3764. He's a bitch. He ain't gonna do nothing.
  3765.  
  3766. MIKE
  3767. You asshole.
  3768.  
  3769. TRENT
  3770. You dick.
  3771.  
  3772. SUE
  3773. What'd you want me to do? Back down? He
  3774. called me a bitch. We kept our rep.
  3775.  
  3776. CHARLES
  3777. Fuck rep, I've got a callback tomorrow.
  3778.  
  3779. Charles leaves.
  3780.  
  3781. ROB
  3782. Yeah, I gotta be up early tomorrow.
  3783.  
  3784. Rob leaves, shaken up.
  3785.  
  3786. MIKE
  3787. You asshole. Why are you carrying a gun?
  3788. What? In case someone steps to you,
  3789. Snoop Dogg?
  3790.  
  3791. SUE
  3792. Hey, man, you're not from here. You
  3793. don't know how it is. I grew up in
  3794. L.A....
  3795.  
  3796. TRENT
  3797. ... Anaheim...
  3798.  
  3799. SUE
  3800. ... Whatever. Things are different here.
  3801. It's not like New York, Mikey.
  3802.  
  3803. MIKE
  3804. Yeah. Here it's easier to avoid trouble.
  3805. It's not like you like in Compton where
  3806. bullets are whizzing by your head every
  3807. day. Nobody's mugging you on no subway.
  3808. In New York the trouble finds you. Out
  3809. here you gotta go look for it...
  3810.  
  3811. SUE
  3812. ... People get carjacked...
  3813.  
  3814. TRENT
  3815. ... Oh, who would jack your fuckin K-car?
  3816. He's right, Sue. You don't need no gat.
  3817.  
  3818. SUE
  3819. Listen. Just because I was the only one
  3820. with the balls to stand up to them...
  3821.  
  3822. TRENT
  3823. ... Oh yeah, like "Cypress Hill" was
  3824. gonna do anything...
  3825.  
  3826. MIKE
  3827. You live in such a fantasy world...
  3828.  
  3829. SUE
  3830. What about you, Mikey? At least I got
  3831. balls. You're always whining about some
  3832. bitch who dumped you a year ago...
  3833.  
  3834. MIKE
  3835. ... It was six months, and she didn't
  3836. dump...
  3837.  
  3838. SUE
  3839. ... Whatever. You're like a whining
  3840. little woman. Big deal. You got a
  3841. fuckin' number. Whoopee! You'll fuck it
  3842. up...
  3843.  
  3844. TRENT
  3845. ... Sue...
  3846.  
  3847. SUE
  3848. Have you gotten laid once since you moved
  3849. here? Did you fuck once?
  3850.  
  3851. TRENT
  3852. ... Shut up, Sue...
  3853.  
  3854. SUE
  3855. I know for a fact you haven't, because
  3856. you never shut up about it. Your like a
  3857. little whiney bitch...
  3858.  
  3859. TRENT
  3860. Sue!
  3861.  
  3862. MIKE
  3863. No, Trent. He's right.
  3864.  
  3865. Mike walks to his car.
  3866.  
  3867. TRENT
  3868. Mikey!
  3869.  
  3870. It's too late. He's leaving.
  3871.  
  3872. Sue starts to open his mouth.
  3873.  
  3874. TRENT
  3875. Don't even talk to me.
  3876. (pause)
  3877. You asshole.
  3878.  
  3879. CUT TO:
  3880.  
  3881. 52 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT NIGHT 52
  3882.  
  3883. Mike opens the door and flicks on the lights in his sparsely
  3884. furnished single.
  3885.  
  3886. He drops his keys on the table and makes a bee line to the
  3887. answering machine.
  3888.  
  3889. He pushes the button.
  3890.  
  3891. ANSWERING MACHINE
  3892. (synthesized voice)
  3893. She didn't call.
  3894.  
  3895. Mike collapses into his futon and lights a smoke.
  3896.  
  3897. Beat.
  3898.  
  3899. He pulls out the COCKTAIL NAPKIN. He stares at the number.
  3900.  
  3901. He looks at the clock. 2:20 AM.
  3902.  
  3903. He looks at the napkin.
  3904.  
  3905. He thinks better of it, and puts the napkin away.
  3906.  
  3907. Beat.
  3908.  
  3909. He takes out the napkin and picks up the phone.
  3910.  
  3911. ANSWERING MACHINE
  3912. (synthesized voice)
  3913. Don't do it, Mike.
  3914.  
  3915. MIKE
  3916. Shut up.
  3917.  
  3918. He dials.
  3919.  
  3920. It rings twice, then...
  3921.  
  3922. NIKKI
  3923. (recorded)
  3924. Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
  3925. (beep)
  3926.  
  3927. MIKE
  3928. Hi, Nikki. This is Mike. I met you
  3929. tonight at the Dresden. I, uh, just
  3930. called to say I, uh, I'm really glad we
  3931. met and you should give me a call. So
  3932. call me tomorrow, or , like, in two days,
  3933. whatever. My number is 213-555-4679...
  3934. (beep)
  3935.  
  3936. Mike hangs up.
  3937.  
  3938. Beat.
  3939.  
  3940. He dials again.
  3941.  
  3942. NIKKI
  3943. (recorded)
  3944. Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
  3945. (beep)
  3946.  
  3947. MIKE
  3948. Hi, Nikki. This is Mike, again. I just
  3949. called because it sounded like your
  3950. machine might've cut me off before I gave
  3951. you my number, and also to say sorry for
  3952. calling so late, but you were still there
  3953. when I left the Dresden, so I knew I'd
  3954. get your machine. Anyway, my number
  3955. is...
  3956. (beep)
  3957.  
  3958. Mike calls back right away.
  3959.  
  3960. NIKKI
  3961. (recorded)
  3962. Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
  3963. (beep)
  3964.  
  3965. MIKE
  3966. 213-555-4679. That's all. I just wanted
  3967. to leave my number. I don't want you to
  3968. think I'm weird, or desperate or
  3969. something...
  3970. (he regrets saying it
  3971. immediately)
  3972. ... I mean, you know, we should just
  3973. hang out. That's it. No expectations.
  3974. Just, you know, hang out. Bye.
  3975. (beep)
  3976.  
  3977. He hangs up.
  3978.  
  3979. Beat.
  3980.  
  3981. He dials.
  3982.  
  3983. NIKKI
  3984. (recorded)
  3985. Hi. This is Nikki. Leaves a message.
  3986. (beep)
  3987.  
  3988. MIKE
  3989. I just got out of a six-year
  3990. relationship. Okay? That should help to
  3991. explain why I'm acting so weird. It's
  3992. not you. It's me. I just wanted to say
  3993. that. Sorry.
  3994. (pause)
  3995. This is Mike.
  3996. (beep)
  3997.  
  3998. He dials again. There's no turning back.
  3999.  
  4000. NIKKI
  4001. (recorded)
  4002. Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
  4003. (beep)
  4004.  
  4005. MIKE
  4006. Hi, Nikki. This is Mike again. Could you
  4007. just call me when you get in? I'll be up
  4008. for awhile, and I'd just rather talk to
  4009. you in person instead of trying to
  4010. squeeze it all...
  4011. (beep)
  4012.  
  4013. He dials yet again.
  4014.  
  4015. NIKKI
  4016. (recorded)
  4017. Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
  4018. (beep)
  4019.  
  4020. MIKE
  4021. Hi, Nikki. Mike. I don't think this is
  4022. working out. I think you're great, but
  4023. maybe we should just take some time off
  4024. from each other. It's not you, really.
  4025. It's me. It's only been six months...
  4026.  
  4027. NIKKI
  4028. (Live, in person. she picks
  4029. up the line)
  4030. Mike?
  4031.  
  4032. MIKE
  4033. Nikki! Great! Did you just walk in, or
  4034. were you listening all along?
  4035.  
  4036. NIKKI
  4037. (calmly)
  4038. Don't call me ever again.
  4039.  
  4040. MIKE
  4041. Wow, I guess you were home...
  4042. (click)
  4043.  
  4044. She hung up on him.
  4045.  
  4046. He's frozen.
  4047.  
  4048. He hangs up.
  4049.  
  4050. Beat.
  4051.  
  4052. He pulls the comforter off the futon and curls up in the
  4053. corner of the room.
  4054.  
  4055. LONG DISSOLVE TO:
  4056.  
  4057. MONTAGE FLASHBACK:
  4058.  
  4059. The following sequence is m.o.s. over Billie Holiday's "Maybe
  4060. You'll Be There."
  4061.  
  4062. 53 INT. COLLEGE CLASSROOM - QUEENS COLLEGE - DAY 53
  4063.  
  4064. YOUNGER MIKE catches his first glimpse of MICHELLE. She
  4065. doesn't see him looking at her. She is paying attention to
  4066. the lesson.
  4067.  
  4068. DISSOLVE TO:
  4069.  
  4070. 54 INT. STUDY HALL - QUEENS COLLEGE - DAY 54
  4071.  
  4072. Mike approaches Michelle for the FIRST TIME. She looks
  4073. beautiful when she looks up at him for the first time.
  4074.  
  4075. DISSOLVE TO:
  4076.  
  4077. 55 EXT. FLUSHING MEADOW PARK - SPRING AFTERNOON 55
  4078.  
  4079. They're having a PICNIC with white wine, Cheese, prosciutto,
  4080. and French bread. Mike plays a ukulele.
  4081.  
  4082. DISSOLVE TO:
  4083.  
  4084. 56 EXT. SHEA STADIUM - QUEENS - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY 56
  4085.  
  4086. CUT TO:
  4087.  
  4088. 57 INT. SHEA STADIUM STANDS - SAME 57
  4089.  
  4090. Mike and Michelle sit with a lap full of food. They are
  4091. laughing about something. Mike leans in for his first deep,
  4092. passionate KISS. The crowd jumps up to cheer a Daryl
  4093. Strawberry home run which the lovers don't notice. They stay
  4094. seated, kissing, and are lost to the CAMERA in the crowd.
  4095.  
  4096. DISSOLVE TO:
  4097.  
  4098. 58 INT. MIKE'S BEDROOM - NEW YORK APARTMENT - NIGHT 58
  4099.  
  4100. Their first sexual experience. Mike is obviously nervous as
  4101. he lies undressed under the covers. He sporadically adjusts
  4102. his hair and strikes poses as he waits for Michelle to come
  4103. out of the bathroom. This is INTERCUT with shots of the
  4104. closed bathroom door.
  4105.  
  4106. DISSOLVE TO:
  4107.  
  4108. 59 EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - IN FRONT OF "RADIO CITY" - NIGHT 59
  4109.  
  4110. Mike and Michelle are Christmas shopping in the snow. It's
  4111. like a story book.
  4112.  
  4113. A newspaper, barely noticeable on stand in b.g., reads "VITO
  4114. CORLEONE FEARED MURDERED"
  4115.  
  4116. DISSOLVE TO:
  4117.  
  4118. 60 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - NEW YORK - NIGHT 60
  4119.  
  4120. Mike and Michelle lethargically lay across the couch. They
  4121. half-heartedly watch a rented video as they shovel Chinese
  4122. take-out into their bloating faces.
  4123.  
  4124. DISSOLVE TO:
  4125.  
  4126. 61 INT. LA GUARDIA AIRPORT - DAY 61
  4127.  
  4128. Mike and Michelle say good bye. They hug and cry. He boards
  4129. a plane for L.A..
  4130.  
  4131. FADE TO:
  4132.  
  4133. 62 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - DAY 62
  4134.  
  4135. SHOT of answering machine.
  4136.  
  4137. ANSWERING MACHINE
  4138. (Trent's voice)
  4139. ... Pick up.... Pick up, Mikey... Are
  4140. you home?
  4141.  
  4142. He is.
  4143.  
  4144. He is sitting in the same corner, smoking, with a two day
  4145. beard. He is surrounded by full ashtrays and empty Tropicana
  4146. containers. Billie Holiday's "Maybe you'll Be There" draws
  4147. to a close on the C.D. player.
  4148.  
  4149. ANSWERING MACHINE
  4150. (Trent's voice)
  4151. ... I guess you're not home. Why don't
  4152. you come out tonight, baby. We haven't
  4153. seen you for two days. We're gonna play
  4154. hockey at Sue's house til ten thirty then
  4155. we're either going to the Lava Lounge for
  4156. Sinatra night, or the Derby for the Royal
  4157. Crown. We might also check out Swing
  4158. Night at the Viper. If we're not there
  4159. we'll be at the Three of Clubs. So come
  4160. meet up with us. We'll see you there,
  4161. gorgeous.
  4162. (beep)
  4163.  
  4164. DISSOLVE TO:
  4165.  
  4166. 63 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 63
  4167.  
  4168. He hasn't moved.
  4169.  
  4170. The PHONE RINGS.
  4171.  
  4172. He looks to the answering machine hopefully as it picks up
  4173. after one ring.
  4174.  
  4175. ANSWERING MACHINE
  4176. (Rob's voice)
  4177. Mikey...? It's Rob. Pick up, buddy.
  4178.  
  4179. His shoulders slack with DISAPPOINTMENT. It's not Her.
  4180.  
  4181. ANSWERING MACHINE
  4182. (Rob's voice)
  4183. ... I'm downstairs. Buzz me in. I know
  4184. you're home. Your lights are on and your
  4185. car's here. Come on, buddy. Open up...
  4186.  
  4187. Mike picks up the phone, pushes "9", and hangs up.
  4188.  
  4189. He lights a cigarette.
  4190.  
  4191. A knock at the door.
  4192.  
  4193. Mike opens it, and Rob walks in with a brown bag.
  4194.  
  4195. He surveys the scene. He's seen this before. He moves some
  4196. laundry off an armchair and sits down.
  4197.  
  4198. He pulls a pepperoni and a loaf of seminola out of the bag.
  4199.  
  4200. He hands Mike a pint of orange juice.
  4201.  
  4202. MIKE
  4203. Thanks, man.
  4204.  
  4205. ROB
  4206. No problem, buddy. You eat anything
  4207. today?
  4208.  
  4209. Mike shakes his head, "no".
  4210.  
  4211. ROB
  4212. Yesterday?
  4213.  
  4214. Mike shakes his head again.
  4215.  
  4216. ROB
  4217. You haven't been drinking, have you?
  4218.  
  4219. MIKE
  4220. No. Just O.J.
  4221.  
  4222. Rob cuts into the pepperoni with his Swiss army knife. Mike
  4223. drinks his juice.
  4224.  
  4225. MIKE
  4226. Sorry about what happened at the Dresden.
  4227. I had no idea...
  4228.  
  4229. ROB
  4230. Don't sweat it. Now I got an L.A. gun
  4231. story. You should hear the way I tell to
  4232. the guys back home. He had an Uzi.
  4233.  
  4234. Mike half-smiles.
  4235.  
  4236. Beat.
  4237.  
  4238. ROB
  4239. You want to talk about it?
  4240.  
  4241. MIKE
  4242. What's the point?
  4243.  
  4244. ROB
  4245. It's been two days. You should call that
  4246. girl Nikki...
  4247.  
  4248. Mike grabs his head in pain.
  4249.  
  4250. MIKE
  4251. Uuuuugh!
  4252.  
  4253. ROB
  4254. Oh boy.
  4255.  
  4256. MIKE
  4257. I'm such an asshole.
  4258.  
  4259. ROB
  4260. She wasn't your type anyway.
  4261.  
  4262. Beat.
  4263.  
  4264. MIKE
  4265. I think I'm gonna move Back East.
  4266.  
  4267. ROB
  4268. Well, that's dumb.
  4269.  
  4270. MIKE
  4271. What's dumb about it?
  4272.  
  4273. ROB
  4274. Well, you're doing so well...
  4275.  
  4276. MIKE
  4277. How am I doing well? I host an open mike
  4278. and I played a fuckin' bus driver in a
  4279. movie. Big fuckin' deal. I'm with an
  4280. agency that specializes in fuckin
  4281. magicians. How good am I doing?
  4282.  
  4283. ROB
  4284. At least you didn't get turned down for
  4285. Goofy...
  4286.  
  4287. MIKE
  4288. They turned you down?
  4289.  
  4290. ROB
  4291. They went for someone with more theme
  4292. park experience. I woulda killed for
  4293. that job.
  4294.  
  4295. Mike lets it sink in.
  4296.  
  4297. ROB
  4298. See, it's all how you look at it. If
  4299. your life sucks, then mine is God awful.
  4300. I mean, I moved out here partially
  4301. because I saw how well you were doing.
  4302. You got in the union, you got an agent.
  4303. I thought if you could make it, maybe I
  4304. could too...
  4305.  
  4306. MIKE
  4307. I didn't make it...
  4308.  
  4309. ROB
  4310. That's your problem, man. You can't see
  4311. what you've got, only what you've lost.
  4312. Those guys are right. You are "money".
  4313.  
  4314. Mike smiles, then...
  4315.  
  4316. MIKE
  4317. (starting to cry)
  4318. Then why won't she call...?
  4319.  
  4320. ROB
  4321. Because you left, man. She's got her own
  4322. world to deal with in New York. She was
  4323. a sweet girl but fuck her. You gotta
  4324. move on. You gotta let go of the past.
  4325. The future is so beautiful. Every day is
  4326. so sunny out here. It's like Manifest
  4327. Destiny man. I mean, we made it. What's
  4328. past is prologue. That which does not
  4329. kill us makes us stronger. All that
  4330. shit. You'll get over it.
  4331.  
  4332. MIKE
  4333. How did you get over it? I mean how long
  4334. 'til it stopped hurting?
  4335.  
  4336. ROB
  4337. Sometimes is still hurts. You know how
  4338. it is, man. I mean, each day you think
  4339. about it less and less. And then one day
  4340. you wake up and you don't think of it at
  4341. all, and you almost miss that feeling.
  4342. It's kinda weird. You miss the pain
  4343. because it was part of your life for so
  4344. long. And the, boom, something reminds
  4345. you of her, and you just smile that
  4346. bittersweet smile.
  4347.  
  4348. We see that Mike has been GNAWING AWAY at Rob's pepperoni and
  4349. semolina as he listens intently.
  4350.  
  4351. MIKE
  4352. You miss the pain?
  4353.  
  4354. ROB
  4355. ... for the same reason you miss her.
  4356. You lived with it so long.
  4357.  
  4358. MIKE
  4359. Wow.
  4360. (finishing the loaf)
  4361. You wanna grab a bite?
  4362.  
  4363. ROB
  4364. (smiling)
  4365. Sure.
  4366.  
  4367. He helps Mike up.
  4368.  
  4369. ROB
  4370. By the way, the guys back home said she
  4371. put on some weight.
  4372.  
  4373. MIKE
  4374. (smiling)
  4375. You always know the right thing to say.
  4376.  
  4377. CUT TO:
  4378.  
  4379. 64 INT. SUE'S APARTMENT - OUTSIDE THE DOOR - NIGHT 64
  4380.  
  4381. Trent opens the door. He sees Mike standing there dressed
  4382. for trouble. His face lights up.
  4383.  
  4384. TRENT
  4385. Mikey! Guys, Mikey's here!
  4386.  
  4387. GUYS (O.S.)
  4388. (from the living room)
  4389. Mikey!
  4390.  
  4391. Mike HEARS the sound of a hotly contested SEGA MATCH.
  4392.  
  4393. SUE (O.S.)
  4394. Bitch! You little bitch!
  4395.  
  4396. The CAMERA follows Mike and Trent into the...
  4397.  
  4398. 65 INT. LIVING ROOM - SUE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 65
  4399.  
  4400. Mike's JAW DROPS when he sees that Sue has been playing
  4401. hockey against the BALD GUY from the Dresden.
  4402.  
  4403. BALD GUY
  4404. Bitch! You bitch!
  4405.  
  4406. The room is filled with the BALD GUY'S CREW. They greet Mike
  4407. as they take hits off their forty ouncers.
  4408.  
  4409. SUE
  4410. Trent. Take over.
  4411.  
  4412. They do a high-speed "controller handoff."
  4413.  
  4414. Sue crosses to Mike.
  4415.  
  4416. SUE
  4417. I'm so sorry, man. You were so right.
  4418. I got rid of the gun
  4419.  
  4420. MIKE
  4421. What are they doing here?
  4422.  
  4423. SUE
  4424. We ran into them that night at Roscoe's.
  4425. Tee cleared it up, I apologized, bought
  4426. them some chicken and waffles. They
  4427. fuckin love Tee. That boy can talk.
  4428.  
  4429. All the baldies howl and slap hands at something funny Tee
  4430. said.
  4431. SUE
  4432. But most important, man, I'm sorry about
  4433. what I said. I was drunk... My
  4434. adrenaline was going...
  4435.  
  4436. MIKE
  4437. Don't sweat it, man. I needed a kick in
  4438. the ass. We're better friends for it.
  4439.  
  4440. SUE
  4441. Thanks, man.
  4442. (they hug)
  4443. I've been hating myself for the last two
  4444. days.
  4445.  
  4446. MIKE
  4447. Believe me, I know what that's like.
  4448. (then to Trent)
  4449. Yo, Double Down! What time are we
  4450. leaving?
  4451.  
  4452. TRENT
  4453. Five minutes, baby. Hey, it's been two
  4454. days. You should call Nikki and see if
  4455. she wants to meet you there.
  4456.  
  4457. CUT TO:
  4458.  
  4459. 66 EXT. "THE DERBY" - HOLLYWOOD NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT 66
  4460.  
  4461. The THREE SWINGERS are waved pass the line by the doorman in
  4462. a Scorsese-style STEADICAM SHOT which continues up the stairs
  4463. and through a curtained doorway into...
  4464.  
  4465. 67 INT. "THE DERBY" - HOLLYWOOD NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT 67
  4466.  
  4467. They enter the domed decco lounge and the full house parts
  4468. for them and greets them in perfect Scorsese choreography.
  4469.  
  4470. They pass the billiard table and the circular brass rail bar.
  4471.  
  4472. The six piece swing band decked out in zoot suits wail on
  4473. stage as the crowded dance floor whirls.
  4474.  
  4475. The swingers eventually settle into a dark curtained-off
  4476. onstage booth.
  4477.  
  4478. Sue thrusts a scotch into Mike's hand.
  4479.  
  4480. 68 INT. "THE DERBY" - MOTAGE - NIGHT 68
  4481.  
  4482. Montage of smoking, drinking, and carousing.
  4483.  
  4484. The parquet floor is packed with swinging hepsters dressed in
  4485. Hollywood's take on forties threads. The dancing is full-
  4486. blown overcrowded slam swing. The floor is full, and
  4487. everyone is damn good. This definitely aint amateur night.
  4488.  
  4489. 69 INT. BAR AREA - THE DERBY - NIGHT 69
  4490.  
  4491. Mike steps up to the bar to refill his drink. He sees a
  4492. BRUNETTE sitting at the bar.
  4493.  
  4494. She's cute.
  4495.  
  4496. Real cute.
  4497.  
  4498. She glows.
  4499.  
  4500. There's something fresh about her. She's dressed nice, but
  4501. different. She definitely is not a regular.
  4502.  
  4503. She throws Mike a half-smile, then looks away.
  4504.  
  4505. He looks away.
  4506.  
  4507. Should he?
  4508.  
  4509. He shakes his head to himself. No.
  4510.  
  4511. Beat.
  4512.  
  4513. He looks over at her again.
  4514.  
  4515. Mike's P.O.V. of a WHITE BUNNY sitting on the bar stool.
  4516.  
  4517. He smiles, shrugs, and CROSSES TO HER.
  4518.  
  4519. When he gets to her she has reverted back to human form.
  4520.  
  4521. MIKE
  4522. Hi.
  4523.  
  4524. BRUNETTE
  4525. Hi.
  4526.  
  4527. MIKE
  4528. I'm Mike.
  4529.  
  4530. BRUNETTE
  4531. Hi, Mike. I'm Lorraine.
  4532.  
  4533. MIKE
  4534. Like the quiche?
  4535.  
  4536. BRUNETTE
  4537. (smiles)
  4538. Yes. Like the quiche.
  4539.  
  4540. MIKE
  4541. I like quiche.
  4542.  
  4543. BRUNETTE
  4544. I thought real men don't like quiche.
  4545.  
  4546. MIKE
  4547. My reputation seems to have preceded me.
  4548.  
  4549. BRUNETTE
  4550. Why? You're not a real man?
  4551.  
  4552. MIKE
  4553. Not lately.
  4554.  
  4555. MATCH CUT TO:
  4556.  
  4557. Trent points the conversation out to Sue from across the
  4558. room.
  4559.  
  4560. Trent and Sue's P.O.V. of Mike and Lorraine having an
  4561. unforced, enjoyable conversation.
  4562.  
  4563. TRENT
  4564. It's on...
  4565.  
  4566. SUE
  4567. ... it's on.
  4568.  
  4569. MATCH CUT TO:
  4570.  
  4571. BACK IN THE TRENCHES:
  4572.  
  4573. BRUNETTE
  4574. ... so I thought, what the hell, they
  4575. make movies in L.A., not in Michigan, so
  4576. I moved here.
  4577.  
  4578. MIKE
  4579. Just like that?
  4580.  
  4581. BRUNETTE
  4582. Well, it wasn't the simple, but yeah.
  4583.  
  4584. MIKE
  4585. How was it hard?
  4586.  
  4587. BRUNETTE
  4588. Well, I left someone very special behind.
  4589.  
  4590. MIKE
  4591. Tell me about it...
  4592.  
  4593. BRUNETTE
  4594. You too?
  4595.  
  4596. MIKE
  4597. Yeah.
  4598.  
  4599. BRUNETTE
  4600. (lights up)
  4601. I thought I was going to die.
  4602.  
  4603. MIKE
  4604. It's been six months and I'm just
  4605. starting to get over it.
  4606.  
  4607. BRUNETTE
  4608. Oh, God. That's two more than me. Tell
  4609. me it gets better.
  4610.  
  4611. MIKE
  4612. (smiles)
  4613. It does.
  4614.  
  4615. BRUNETTE
  4616. How?
  4617.  
  4618. MIKE
  4619. Well, it still sucks, but you start to
  4620. see that there are advantages to being
  4621. single.
  4622.  
  4623. BRUNETTE
  4624. (coyly)
  4625. Like what?
  4626.  
  4627. MIKE
  4628. What what? What advantages?
  4629.  
  4630. LORRAINE
  4631. You said there are advantages to being
  4632. single. I want to know what the
  4633. advantages are.
  4634.  
  4635. MIKE
  4636. (playing along)
  4637. Well... You can talk to a beautiful woman
  4638. at a bar without worrying if anyone's
  4639. watching you.
  4640.  
  4641. CUT TO:
  4642.  
  4643. Trent and Sue are watching from across the room.
  4644.  
  4645. TRENT
  4646. It's on.
  4647.  
  4648. SUE
  4649. ... it's definitely on.
  4650.  
  4651. BACK TO:
  4652. BRUNETTE
  4653. What else?
  4654.  
  4655. MIKE
  4656. What else...? Let's see... You have
  4657. complete freedom.
  4658.  
  4659. BRUNETTE
  4660. To do what?
  4661.  
  4662. MIKE
  4663. I don't know.... To grow, to go out.
  4664. Whatever you want.
  4665.  
  4666. BRUNETTE
  4667. Anything?
  4668.  
  4669. MIKE
  4670. Anything.
  4671.  
  4672. BRUNETTE
  4673. Like if I meet a handsome young man and
  4674. I wanted to ask him to dance? I can do
  4675. that?
  4676.  
  4677. MIKE
  4678. Uh, if the guy wants to.
  4679.  
  4680. BRUNETTE
  4681. You don't think the guy would find me
  4682. attractive enough to dance with?
  4683.  
  4684. MIKE
  4685. Yes. I mean, no. I mean, maybe he would
  4686. find her, I mean you attractive. Maybe
  4687. he doesn't like to dance. Maybe all he
  4688. likes to do is just stand around and
  4689. drink and smoke and look cool with his
  4690. buddies who don't dance either...
  4691.  
  4692. BRUNETTE
  4693. Maybe it doesn't matter if he's a good
  4694. dancer cause it's a slow song, if that's
  4695. what he's afraid of.
  4696.  
  4697. MIKE
  4698. (smirk)
  4699. No... Maybe that's not the case. Maybe
  4700. she shouldn't be such a smug little shit
  4701. because she'd be surprised at what a good
  4702. dancer he really is, but it's been a long
  4703. time and he doesn't know if he's ready
  4704. to...
  4705.  
  4706. BRUNETTE
  4707. Mike...
  4708.  
  4709. She gets up. She's beautiful. She is beautiful.
  4710.  
  4711. BRUNETTE
  4712. ... Will you dance with me?
  4713.  
  4714. She's in great shape, and look how classy her vintage dress
  4715. looks. A vision from the forties. She's too good for this
  4716. place. She belongs on the nose of a B-52. What can he say,
  4717. but...
  4718.  
  4719. MIKE
  4720. Sure I will.
  4721.  
  4722. He awkwardly leads her to the unusually empty dance floor.
  4723. They START TO DANCE. It's a slow song and they boringly rock
  4724. back and forth. Mike is self-conscious, but her touch. Oh
  4725. her touch.
  4726.  
  4727. CUT TO:
  4728. Trent and Sue watching in disbelief.
  4729.  
  4730. SUE
  4731. It is on.
  4732.  
  4733. TRENT
  4734. ... it is so on.
  4735.  
  4736. BACK TO:
  4737.  
  4738. The couple's dance is cut short as there were only a few bars
  4739. left of the slow ballad. Mike smiles politely in relief and
  4740. begins to lead Lorraine off the floor.
  4741.  
  4742. She pulls him back. He's not getting off that easy. She
  4743. wants a whole song. He politely holds her, poised for
  4744. another slow number. They're alone on the floor.
  4745.  
  4746. Much to Mike's dismay, the song begins with a DRIVING TOM TOM
  4747. SOLO. This cues every hep cat in the Derby that the big
  4748. one's coming. They all flood the floor for the last dance of
  4749. the night.
  4750.  
  4751. Mike pleadingly shakes his head at Lorraine. It's too fast.
  4752. Her eyes narrow as her grip tightens. No sympathy here.
  4753.  
  4754. The band breaks into the full-tilt swing number and the dance
  4755. floor writhes around them.
  4756.  
  4757. They stand motionless for what seems like an eternity.
  4758.  
  4759. Gut check. Fuck it. Sink or swim.
  4760.  
  4761. Mike grabs her like a man grabs a woman. It's just a simple
  4762. six-count swing step, but they're in perfect harmony.
  4763.  
  4764. Mike and Lorraine look into each others eyes. It's on, baby.
  4765.  
  4766. As Mike's courage grows, the moves start to flow. A spin at
  4767. first. Then a double twirl. It's not long before he's
  4768. throwing her through combinations that stand out even among
  4769. the pros.
  4770.  
  4771. CUT TO:
  4772.  
  4773. Trent and Sue, mouths agape.
  4774.  
  4775. BACK TO:
  4776.  
  4777. Mike is whipping her smoothly through violent-looking
  4778. combinations without a trace of hesitation, and, boy, can she
  4779. follow.
  4780.  
  4781. The set ends with a flourishing crescendo. They're frozen in
  4782. a final dip, panting through a glaze of clean sweat.
  4783.  
  4784. Mike and Lorraine smile and look into each other's eyes. The
  4785. smile slowly disappears. Will they kiss?
  4786.  
  4787. They're close.
  4788.  
  4789. Really close.
  4790.  
  4791. Lips almost touching.
  4792.  
  4793. Mike tries to muster-up the courage, but it's been so long.
  4794.  
  4795. He can't do it. He lets her up.
  4796.  
  4797. The floor clears. Exhausted dancers push past them. Forget
  4798. it. The moment's gone.
  4799.  
  4800. What the hell. They had a great time. What's the hurry?
  4801.  
  4802. SOFT CUT TO:
  4803.  
  4804. 70 EXT. LA BREA AVENUE - OUTSIDE THE DERBY - NIGHT 70
  4805.  
  4806. Mike is walking Lorraine to her car. They come upon a parked
  4807. Escort.
  4808.  
  4809. LORRAINE
  4810. Well... This is it.
  4811.  
  4812. MIKE
  4813. Listen. I had a great time.
  4814.  
  4815. LORRAINE
  4816. Me too.
  4817.  
  4818. MIKE
  4819. I would love to see you again sometime.
  4820.  
  4821. LORRAINE
  4822. I'll be around.
  4823.  
  4824. MIKE
  4825. That's not good enough. I want to make
  4826. plans to see you.
  4827.  
  4828. LORRAINE
  4829. Let me get a pen out of my car.
  4830. (opens the door)
  4831. Do you have something to write on?
  4832.  
  4833. Mike hands her a business card.
  4834.  
  4835. LORRAINE
  4836. (looking at it)
  4837. You're a comedian?
  4838.  
  4839. MIKE
  4840. Yeah. And an actor.
  4841.  
  4842. LORRAINE
  4843. I'll have to come see you sometime.
  4844.  
  4845. MIKE
  4846. If and when I get a real gig I'll call
  4847. you.
  4848.  
  4849. LORRAINE
  4850. It's not going to well?
  4851.  
  4852. MIKE
  4853. When I lived in New York they made it
  4854. sound like they were giving out sit-coms
  4855. to stand-ups at the airport. I got off
  4856. the plane in L.A. six months ago and all
  4857. I got to show for it is a tan.
  4858.  
  4859. LORRAINE
  4860. Didn't you tell me to be patient with my
  4861. career?
  4862.  
  4863. MIKE
  4864. ... Yeah, but entertainment law isn't
  4865. something you just jump into...
  4866.  
  4867. LORRAINE
  4868. Neither is acting. Not if you're serious
  4869. about it.
  4870. (She writes her number on the
  4871. card.)
  4872. Can I have one of these?
  4873.  
  4874. MIKE
  4875. Why, you like the duck with the cigar?
  4876. (hands her a card)
  4877.  
  4878. LORRAINE
  4879. Yeah. Nice touch. It's the logo from
  4880. "You Bet Your Life", right?
  4881.  
  4882. MIKE
  4883. Good eye. Not one club owner got it.
  4884. They all ask me why I got Donald Duck on
  4885. my card.
  4886.  
  4887. LORRAINE
  4888. Hey, at least it's not Goofy.
  4889.  
  4890. Beat.
  4891.  
  4892. LORRAINE
  4893. Well, I should be getting...
  4894.  
  4895. MIKE
  4896. ... It's really getting late.
  4897.  
  4898. LORRAINE
  4899. ... home. It's getting late. Yeah.
  4900.  
  4901. Beat.
  4902.  
  4903. LORRAINE
  4904. Can I give you a ride to your car...?
  4905.  
  4906. MIKE
  4907. ... Nah. I'm right across the street...
  4908.  
  4909. LORRAINE
  4910. ... Which one...?
  4911.  
  4912. MIKE
  4913. ... The red piece of shit over there...
  4914.  
  4915. LORRAINE
  4916. ... well, it suits you...
  4917.  
  4918. MIKE
  4919. ... get the hell outta here already...
  4920.  
  4921. Mike leans in and slowly gives her the sweetest, softest,
  4922. most innocent kiss.
  4923.  
  4924. He backs up. She's got that goofy look as she unlocks her
  4925. club and starts the car.
  4926.  
  4927. LORRAINE
  4928. Bye.
  4929.  
  4930. She drives off.
  4931.  
  4932. He watches her go.
  4933.  
  4934. DISSOLVE TO:
  4935.  
  4936. 71 EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT 71
  4937.  
  4938. Mike is driving Trent and Sue home in his car.
  4939.  
  4940. CUT TO:
  4941.  
  4942. 72 INT. MIKE'S CAR - SUNSET BOULEVARD - SAME NIGHT 72
  4943.  
  4944. TRENT
  4945. You were off your ass back there! Where
  4946. the hell did you learn to do all that
  4947. twirly whirly shit?
  4948.  
  4949. MIKE
  4950. I took a ballroom class with Michelle.
  4951. I never danced with anyone but her, til
  4952. tonight. That Lorraine chick is good.
  4953.  
  4954. TRENT
  4955. You were good. Did you see how she was
  4956. vibing you?
  4957.  
  4958. SUE
  4959. Sorry man.
  4960.  
  4961. TRENT
  4962. Yeah. You probably coulda hit that
  4963. tonight if you didn't have to drive us
  4964. home.
  4965.  
  4966. SUE
  4967. ... Definitely...
  4968.  
  4969. MIKE
  4970. It's not like that...
  4971.  
  4972. TRENT
  4973. Don't give me that! She liked you, man.
  4974.  
  4975. MIKE
  4976. I know she liked me. I mean, it's not
  4977. like I wanted to do anything with her
  4978. tonight.
  4979.  
  4980. SUE
  4981. Good for you, man. He's being smart.
  4982.  
  4983. MIKE
  4984. She's really special, guys.
  4985.  
  4986. TRENT
  4987. The bear's got his claws back.
  4988.  
  4989. SUE
  4990. Be smart about it.
  4991.  
  4992. TRENT
  4993. I'm telling you. Wait three days...
  4994.  
  4995. SUE
  4996. You don't have to wait three days...
  4997.  
  4998. TRENT
  4999. ... Okay, two...
  5000.  
  5001. SUE
  5002. ... just be smart about it.
  5003.  
  5004. MIKE
  5005. Guys... Guys... I got it under control.
  5006.  
  5007. TRENT
  5008. Oh. He's got it under control...
  5009.  
  5010. SUE
  5011. ... Well, then, I guess we don't have to
  5012. worry about him anymore.
  5013.  
  5014. TRENT
  5015. Our little baby's growing up...
  5016.  
  5017. Trent and sue pretend to cry and hug each other.
  5018.  
  5019. Mike looks at them in the rear view mirror.
  5020.  
  5021. He smirks and shakes his head.
  5022.  
  5023. MIKE
  5024. You guys are such assholes.
  5025.  
  5026. BACK TO:
  5027.  
  5028. 73 INT. MIKE'S CAR - SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT 73
  5029.  
  5030. Trent and Sue scream at the top of their lungs as they cruise
  5031. down Sunset. Alcohol is a terrible drug.
  5032.  
  5033. DISSOLVE TO:
  5034.  
  5035. 74 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 74
  5036.  
  5037. Mike is standing in the middle of the room looking at
  5038. LORRAINE'S NUMBER on the back of the BUSINESS CARD.
  5039.  
  5040. He looks at the clock.
  5041.  
  5042. 2:45 A.M.
  5043.  
  5044. He looks back at the NUMBER.
  5045.  
  5046. Beat.
  5047.  
  5048. He thinks better of it. He wedges it into a crack in the
  5049. answering machine and unbuttons his shirt for bed...
  5050.  
  5051. ANSWERING MACHINE
  5052. (synthesized voice)
  5053. Good move.
  5054.  
  5055. Mike smirks.
  5056.  
  5057. FADE TO:
  5058.  
  5059. 75 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - THE NEXT MORNING 75
  5060.  
  5061. Mike wakes up and rolls out of bed.
  5062.  
  5063. He walks to the phone and pulls the CARD out of the crack.
  5064.  
  5065. He looks at the clock.
  5066.  
  5067. 12:10 PM.
  5068.  
  5069. He sticks it back in the crack.
  5070.  
  5071. He makes an "x" on a day of his calendar.
  5072.  
  5073. CUT TO:
  5074.  
  5075. 76 INT. MIKE'S BATHROOM - MIKE'S APARTMENT - DAY 76
  5076.  
  5077. Mike brushes his teeth.
  5078.  
  5079. He looks at the card clipped into the frame of the bathroom
  5080. mirror.
  5081.  
  5082. He turns the faucet, allowing exactly ONE DROP of his
  5083. precious Los Angeles water supply to drip onto his
  5084. toothbrush.
  5085.  
  5086. He resumes brushing.
  5087.  
  5088. CUT TO:
  5089.  
  5090. 77 EXT. "BOURGEOIS PIG" COFFEEHOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON 77
  5091.  
  5092. Mike sips espresso as he stares at the CARD.
  5093.  
  5094. DISSOLVE TO:
  5095.  
  5096. 78 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 78
  5097.  
  5098. Mike is playing solitaire with the CARD laying above all the
  5099. playing cards.
  5100.  
  5101. The PHONE RINGS.
  5102.  
  5103. Mike rushes to get it, then forces himself to wait another
  5104. ring and a half exactly.
  5105.  
  5106. MIKE
  5107. Hello?
  5108.  
  5109. FEMALE VOICE
  5110. Hi Michael.
  5111.  
  5112. MIKE
  5113. Michelle?
  5114.  
  5115. MICHELLE
  5116. How's it going? It's been a while...
  5117.  
  5118. MIKE
  5119. ... Six months.
  5120.  
  5121. MICHELLE
  5122. How are you doing?
  5123.  
  5124. MIKE
  5125. Fine... I guess. You?
  5126.  
  5127. MICHELLE
  5128. Good.
  5129. (pause)
  5130. I think about things.
  5131.  
  5132. MIKE
  5133. Yeah?
  5134.  
  5135. MICHELLE
  5136. Yeah.
  5137.  
  5138. MIKE
  5139. What kind of things?
  5140.  
  5141. MICHELLE
  5142. You know, us.
  5143.  
  5144. MIKE
  5145. I thought you met someone else.
  5146.  
  5147. MICHELLE
  5148. It doesn't matter. I think about you
  5149. every day.
  5150.  
  5151. MIKE
  5152. Really?
  5153.  
  5154. MICHELLE
  5155. I miss you, Mike.
  5156.  
  5157. MIKE
  5158. Why didn't you call?
  5159.  
  5160. MICHELLE
  5161. I couldn't. Do you know how hard it's
  5162. been not to call you? I pick up the
  5163. phone every night. Whenever that
  5164. commercial comes on...
  5165.  
  5166. MIKE
  5167. ... the Micheline commercial...
  5168.  
  5169. MICHELLE
  5170. ... Yeah, with the baby in the tire. One
  5171. time I started to cry right in front of
  5172. Pierre...
  5173.  
  5174. MIKE
  5175. Pierre... That's his name? Pierre? Is
  5176. he French?
  5177.  
  5178. MICHELLE
  5179. No, he's not... Listen I don't want to
  5180. talk about him. That's a whole other
  5181. headache. I called because I heard you
  5182. might be moving back to Queens...
  5183.  
  5184. The BEEP of Mike's CALL WAITING.
  5185.  
  5186. MIKE
  5187. Hang on. Let me get rid of this call.
  5188.  
  5189. He clicks to the OTHER LINE.
  5190.  
  5191. MIKE
  5192. Hello?
  5193.  
  5194. LORRAINE
  5195. Hi, Mike?
  5196.  
  5197. MIKE
  5198. Lorraine?
  5199.  
  5200. LORRAINE
  5201. Are you on the other line?
  5202.  
  5203. MIKE
  5204. Yeah, hold on.
  5205.  
  5206.  
  5207.  
  5208. LORRAINE
  5209. I can call back...
  5210.  
  5211. MIKE
  5212. No, no. Hold on.
  5213.  
  5214. He clicks back to the OTHER LINE.
  5215.  
  5216. MIKE
  5217. Hi.
  5218.  
  5219. MICHELLE
  5220. I heard you might be moving back...
  5221.  
  5222. MIKE
  5223. Yeah, uh, I don't think that's gonna be
  5224. happening any time soon... Listen, can
  5225. I call you right back? I gotta take this
  5226. call...
  5227.  
  5228. MICHELLE
  5229. I'm not home and going out of town
  5230. tomorrow for a week. Can't you talk for
  5231. five more minutes?
  5232.  
  5233. MIKE
  5234. I really want to catch up with you, but
  5235. I've gotta take this call. They're
  5236. holding. I'll talk with you when you get
  5237. back in town. Bye.
  5238.  
  5239. MICHELLE
  5240. Goodbye. I lov.....(click)
  5241.  
  5242. Mike SWITCHES LINES, cutting Michelle off mid-sentence.
  5243.  
  5244. MIKE
  5245. Hi. Sorry about that.
  5246.  
  5247. LORRAINE
  5248. You didn't have to get off the other
  5249. line. I would've called you back.
  5250.  
  5251. MIKE
  5252. That's okay. I wanted to talk to you.
  5253.  
  5254. Mike holds his palm over the receiver and looks at the
  5255. answering machine.
  5256.  
  5257. Beat.
  5258.  
  5259. MIKE
  5260. (to answering machine)
  5261. Do you realize that I've been waiting for
  5262. that call for six months and I cut her
  5263. off?
  5264.  
  5265. ANSWERING MACHINE
  5266. (synthesized voice)
  5267. You're money, baby.
  5268.  
  5269. Mike smiles.
  5270.  
  5271. Back to Lorraine.
  5272.  
  5273. MEDIUM SHOT of Mike through his window as he looks down onto
  5274. Franklin avenue and talks on the phone.
  5275.  
  5276. MIKE
  5277. Hi, Lorraine. Thanks for holding on.
  5278.  
  5279. LORRAINE
  5280. Listen, Mike. You really didn't have to
  5281. get off the line. I just wanted to ask
  5282. you one thing. I know I shouldn't have
  5283. called, I mean, my friends said I should
  5284. wait two days... Oh God, I probably sound
  5285. like such a schoolgirl... It's just that
  5286. it's tonight only... I mean, it's
  5287. Sinatra's birthday and they have this
  5288. thing every year at "The Room". Do you
  5289. know where that is? It's impossible to
  5290. find if you've never been there. I don't
  5291. understand why none of the clubs in
  5292. Hollywood have signs. Anyway, I'm so bad
  5293. at this, if you're not busy I thought you
  5294. might...
  5295.  
  5296. Mike smiles as the CAMERA PULLS BACK from the window and
  5297. backwards down Franklin Avenue in a reverse of the first shot
  5298. of the movie. The soundtrack kicks in with Sinatra's "Here's
  5299. To The Losers"....
  5300.  
  5301. FRANK
  5302. Here's to those who love not too wisely,
  5303. no, not too wisely, but too well...
  5304. To the girl who sighs with envy when she
  5305. hears that wedding bell...
  5306. To the guy who'd throw a party if he knew
  5307. someone to call...
  5308. Here's to the losers... Bless them all...
  5309.  
  5310.  
  5311. ...We rise and pass the glowing Hollywood sign. It's still a
  5312. full moon...
  5313.  
  5314. FRANK
  5315. Here's to those who drink their dinners
  5316. when that lady doesn't show...
  5317. To the girls who wait for kisses
  5318. underneath that mistletoe...
  5319. To the lonely summer lovers when the
  5320. leaves begin to fall...
  5321. Here's to the losers... Bless them all...
  5322.  
  5323. .... Past the blinking red beacon of the Capital Records
  5324. building...
  5325.  
  5326. FRANK
  5327. Hey Tom, Dick and Harry...
  5328. Come in out of the rain...
  5329. Those torches you carry...
  5330. Must be drowned in champagne...
  5331.  
  5332. ... Up and over Hollywood Boulevard. High above the city...
  5333.  
  5334. FRANK
  5335. Here's the last toast of the evening...
  5336. Here's to those who still believe...
  5337. All the losers will be winners...
  5338. All the givers shall receive...
  5339. Here's to trouble-free tomorrows...
  5340. May your sorrows all be small...
  5341. Here's to the losers... Bless them all.
  5342.  
  5343. ... It's all just a pool of beautiful golden light.
  5344.  
  5345. FADE TO BLACK.
  5346.  
  5347.  
  5348.  
  5349.  
  5350.  
  5351. Swingers
  5352.  
  5353. Writers : Jon Favreau
  5354. Genres : Comedy Drama
  5355.  
  5356.  
  5357. User Comments
  5358.  
  5359.  
  5360.  
  5361.  
  5362.  
  5363. Internet Movie Script Database
  5364.  
  5365. Back to IMSDb
  5366.  
  5367.  
  5368.  
  5369.  
  5370.  
  5371.  
  5372.  
  5373.  
  5374. Index | Submit | Links | Link to us | RSS Feeds | Disclaimer | Privacy policy
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