1
00:00:04,587 --> 00:00:06,754
Okay, we're headed out--
See you later.

2
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:07,921
Before you leave,

3
00:00:07,923 --> 00:00:10,290
could you test these
noise-cancelling headphones?

4
00:00:10,292 --> 00:00:11,292
Yeah, sure.

5
00:00:11,293 --> 00:00:12,459
Okay.

6
00:00:14,263 --> 00:00:15,263
Go ahead.

7
00:00:15,264 --> 00:00:18,265
Hello, can you
hear me?

8
00:00:21,137 --> 00:00:22,803
Sheldon, I haven't changed
the filter

9
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,905
in the water pitcher
in two years.

10
00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:31,612
Uh, Bernadette's nickname for
you is the virgin piña colada.

11
00:00:34,483 --> 00:00:38,752
Your George Lucas autograph
is really a “me” autograph.

12
00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:43,891
Yeah, well, once I was too lazy
to walk across the hall,

13
00:00:43,893 --> 00:00:45,626
so I used your toothbrush.

14
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,830
Ooh, and one time
when you were asleep,

15
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,498
Amy totally
took off her...

16
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,700
And that's why
you're the best roommate ever.

17
00:00:54,937 --> 00:00:57,271
Aw...

18
00:00:57,273 --> 00:00:58,772
Now I'm sad I didn't hear it.

19
00:00:58,774 --> 00:01:01,241
So what do you need
the headphones for?

20
00:01:01,243 --> 00:01:02,810
Well, I've been
struggling for months

21
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,045
to come up with
a theory of dark matter

22
00:01:05,047 --> 00:01:06,713
that doesn't
make protons decay.

23
00:01:06,715 --> 00:01:08,415
I'm hoping to
finally tackle it

24
00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:10,417
by optimizing my
work environment.

25
00:01:10,419 --> 00:01:15,055
See, I've got, uh, my tea is at
the perfect sipping temperature.

26
00:01:15,057 --> 00:01:17,591
Uh, I have fleece-lined
boxer shorts

27
00:01:17,593 --> 00:01:18,959
to keep my tushie toasty.

28
00:01:18,961 --> 00:01:20,460
And then, oh,
last but not least,

29
00:01:20,462 --> 00:01:23,397
this inspirational cat poster,

30
00:01:23,399 --> 00:01:25,432
improved with
the reassuring face

31
00:01:25,434 --> 00:01:27,668
of physics renegade
Richard Feynman.

32
00:01:30,773 --> 00:01:33,774
Is that why you had to take him
to Office Depot last night?

33
00:01:33,776 --> 00:01:35,976
I don't want to talk about it.

34
00:01:36,812 --> 00:01:38,212
There, the place is all yours.

35
00:01:38,214 --> 00:01:39,179
Yeah, have fun.

36
00:01:39,181 --> 00:01:41,148
Oh, I will--
nothing more fun

37
00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:42,716
than a paradigm-shifting
evening of science.

38
00:01:42,718 --> 00:01:43,851
(scoffs)

39
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,153
And you thought it was
soaping me up in the shower.

40
00:01:46,155 --> 00:01:47,155
(chuckles)

41
00:01:47,156 --> 00:01:48,121
Bye.

42
00:01:48,123 --> 00:01:50,724
Okay.

43
00:01:50,726 --> 00:01:52,926
Here we go.

44
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:56,563
Proton decay.

45
00:01:58,033 --> 00:01:59,900
Proton decay.

46
00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,569
Proton decay.

47
00:02:03,539 --> 00:02:05,405
Proton decay.

48
00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:08,976
Proton decay.

49
00:02:09,812 --> 00:02:11,144
Proton decay.

50
00:02:11,146 --> 00:02:12,412
LEONARD:
Hey, we're home.

51
00:02:12,414 --> 00:02:13,647
(screams)

52
00:02:14,984 --> 00:02:16,884
Any progress?

53
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:17,985
How could there be?!

54
00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:19,853
With these constant
interruptions.

55
00:02:21,757 --> 00:02:25,525
I love him, but if he's broken,
let's not get a new one.

56
00:02:26,762 --> 00:02:30,397
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

57
00:02:30,399 --> 00:02:33,734
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

58
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,369
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

59
00:02:35,371 --> 00:02:37,905
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

60
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,574
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪<i> We built the pyramids</i> ♪

61
00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:43,243
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

62
00:02:43,245 --> 00:02:45,145
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

63
00:02:45,147 --> 00:02:47,114
♪<i> Bang!</i> ♪

64
00:02:47,715 --> 00:02:51,715
<font color=#00FF00>♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x13 ♪</font>
<font color=#00FFFF>The Anxiety Optimization</font>
Original Air Date on January 29,

65
00:02:51,716 --> 00:02:57,716
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>

66
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,060
What are you doing?

67
00:02:59,062 --> 00:03:00,295
It's time to go.

68
00:03:00,297 --> 00:03:02,497
I'm not going to work today.

69
00:03:02,499 --> 00:03:04,432
And would you like
to know why?

70
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,469
Ah, you're upset because you
spent the whole night working

71
00:03:07,471 --> 00:03:09,504
on dark matter
and didn't make a breakthrough,

72
00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:11,439
and now you're worried you made
a huge mistake switching fields,

73
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,408
and you're gonna sit around
and sulk all day?

74
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:16,444
Like a big old baby.

75
00:03:17,915 --> 00:03:19,347
Call me
if you need anything.

76
00:03:20,851 --> 00:03:22,784
(Sheldon sighs, door closes)

77
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:26,188
I've been cooped up
in here too long.

78
00:03:26,190 --> 00:03:29,191
Maybe I need some fresh air.

79
00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:35,430
(inhales, exhales)

80
00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:42,571
(Penny groans,
grunts)

81
00:03:47,377 --> 00:03:48,410
Penny?

82
00:03:48,412 --> 00:03:49,711
(grunts)

83
00:03:49,713 --> 00:03:50,745
Penny?

84
00:03:50,747 --> 00:03:51,680
(grunts)

85
00:03:51,682 --> 00:03:53,715
Penny?
(grunts)

86
00:03:55,018 --> 00:03:57,052
Ugh, what?

87
00:03:57,054 --> 00:03:58,920
You sounded in distress.

88
00:03:58,922 --> 00:04:00,622
I was worried something
unpleasant was happening to you.

89
00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:02,157
Like a murder.

90
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:05,126
Or spontaneous coitus
with Leonard.

91
00:04:06,897 --> 00:04:08,463
Oh, I'm just doing
this awful workout.

92
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:09,664
I hate it.

93
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,067
Well, if you hate it,
then why are you doing it?

94
00:04:12,069 --> 00:04:13,868
Although I could ask
the same question

95
00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:15,637
about coitus with Leonard.

96
00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:18,406
I don't know-- I guess
I like that I hate it.

97
00:04:18,408 --> 00:04:20,041
It makes me work harder.

98
00:04:20,043 --> 00:04:21,876
And to clarify...

99
00:04:21,878 --> 00:04:23,745
The exercise, Sheldon.

100
00:04:25,048 --> 00:04:26,982
Shouldn't you be getting
ready for work?

101
00:04:26,984 --> 00:04:28,483
I'm not going.

102
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,884
Would you like to know why?

103
00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:32,520
Uh, you're sad about not getting
anything done last night,

104
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,856
so you're gonna sit around
and pout about it?

105
00:04:35,959 --> 00:04:38,660
Boy, I'm not nearly as
mysterious as I think I am.

106
00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:41,963
I invented a game.

107
00:04:41,965 --> 00:04:43,665
You want to play?
Sure.

108
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:46,067
It's called
“Emily or Cinnamon”"

109
00:04:46,069 --> 00:04:49,404
I give you actual quotes
I've heard Raj say,

110
00:04:49,406 --> 00:04:53,642
and you guess if he was talking
to his girlfriend or his dog.

111
00:04:57,581 --> 00:04:59,247
Go ahead, make fun.

112
00:04:59,249 --> 00:05:00,282
You can't embarrass .

113
00:05:00,284 --> 00:05:01,716
I've got a beautiful
girlfriend

114
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,619
and a dog who loves me so much
she drinks my bathwater.

115
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:10,125
Okay, who was he talking to,
Emily or Cinnamon:

116
00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:12,861
“I want you to know,
the bed feels so lonely

117
00:05:12,863 --> 00:05:14,562
when you're not in it.”

118
00:05:21,004 --> 00:05:23,271
I may not be liking
this game so much.

119
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,308
Cinnamon.
Give me another one.

120
00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:28,677
Okay, Emily or Cinnamon:

121
00:05:28,679 --> 00:05:30,712
“Check it out,
I got us matching sweaters!”

122
00:05:30,714 --> 00:05:33,248
We all got the Christmas card--
Cinnamon.

123
00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:38,086
You know, a man can care deeply
about a woman and a pet.

124
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,120
It's not strange.

125
00:05:39,122 --> 00:05:40,088
Ooh, Emily.

126
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,290
I heard him say that
to Emily.

127
00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:45,327
Hey, I thought
you were staying home.

128
00:05:45,329 --> 00:05:47,729
Yeah, I was, but after
talking to Penny,

129
00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:49,331
I realized something.

130
00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:52,701
I... first, she's trying much
harder to stay attractive

131
00:05:52,703 --> 00:05:55,003
in this relationship
than you are.

132
00:05:59,176 --> 00:06:00,642
E'
And second...

133
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:03,578
the reason I may not be
progressing in my research is

134
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:07,248
I've created too pleasant
of an environment for myself.

135
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,583
What do you me?

136
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:11,086
According to a classic
psychological experiment

137
00:06:11,088 --> 00:06:14,422
by Yerkes and Dodson, in order
to maximize performance,

138
00:06:14,424 --> 00:06:17,559
one must create a state
of productive anxiety.

139
00:06:17,561 --> 00:06:21,262
So I'd like to ask you all
to do something for me.

140
00:06:21,264 --> 00:06:23,098
Keep me on my toes.

141
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,266
(stammers)
Just throw me off my game.

142
00:06:25,268 --> 00:06:29,371
E-Essentially, go out of your
way to make my life miserable.

143
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,508
Hold on.

144
00:06:33,510 --> 00:06:35,076
What's in it for us?

145
00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:37,178
Well, I suppose...
Okay, we'll do it!

146
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,288
Done.

147
00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:48,923
33 seconds.

148
00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:50,825
Okay, that'll be
our baseline.

149
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,527
You know, I don't
want to tell you

150
00:06:52,529 --> 00:06:55,029
how to do your job, but when
a mouse completes a maze,

151
00:06:55,031 --> 00:06:56,965
it gets a food pellet.

152
00:06:56,967 --> 00:07:00,668
It also gets its brain
plucked out with tweezers.

153
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,705
And his last meal was
a food pellet?

154
00:07:03,707 --> 00:07:05,206
You're a monster.

155
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,310
All right, next,
we're gonna introduce

156
00:07:09,312 --> 00:07:11,813
an anxiety-inducing stimulus,
measure your stress levels

157
00:07:11,815 --> 00:07:13,548
and see how it affects
your problem-solving rate.

158
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:14,582
Very well.

159
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:17,318
And good luck--
I'm a pretty laid-back guy.

160
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,355
Ready?

161
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,890
Begin.

162
00:07:24,728 --> 00:07:27,328
(squeezes balloon)

163
00:07:44,281 --> 00:07:45,914
Why'd you pop it?

164
00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:48,183
I'm sorry, I was aiming
for your heart.

165
00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:52,821
Look, I know you
don't like it'

166
00:07:52,823 --> 00:07:54,355
but that's the point
of the experiment.

167
00:07:54,357 --> 00:07:55,924
I need to irritate you

168
00:07:55,926 --> 00:07:58,226
to find your optimal
anxiety zone.

169
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,728
And you said no to
tickling, polka music

170
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,931
or watching me
eat a banana.

171
00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:05,733
Who eats them
horizontally?!

172
00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:09,204
My mother said that's
how good girls do it.

173
00:08:13,376 --> 00:08:15,577
Perhaps this was
a waste of time.

174
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,212
Sheldon,

175
00:08:17,214 --> 00:08:19,147
you're a remarkable scientist.

176
00:08:19,149 --> 00:08:21,583
Just be patient-- I'm sure
you'll find the breakthrough

177
00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:22,917
you've been looking for.

178
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,419
Thank you.

179
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,054
And if you only
do solid research

180
00:08:26,056 --> 00:08:29,123
instead of making
a groundbreaking discovery,

181
00:08:29,125 --> 00:08:30,625
what does it matter?

182
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,994
“Only do solid research”?!

183
00:08:32,996 --> 00:08:35,964
Uh... I come to you for help,
and you insult me?!

184
00:08:35,966 --> 00:08:38,032
I thought the least that
you would do would be...

185
00:08:38,034 --> 00:08:40,034
Look, your anxiety levels
are right in the zone.

186
00:08:40,036 --> 00:08:41,369
Really?

187
00:08:41,371 --> 00:08:43,004
Oh, that's fantastic.

188
00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:44,272
N-Now, wait,
they're dropping.

189
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,406
Why are they dropping?

190
00:08:45,408 --> 00:08:47,375
Because you're happy
they're elevated.

191
00:08:47,377 --> 00:08:49,177
Oh, that is infuriating!

192
00:08:49,179 --> 00:08:50,712
Ooh, look, they went
back up again.

193
00:08:50,714 --> 00:08:51,679
Terrific.

194
00:08:51,681 --> 00:08:53,481
Oh, no, they went
back down!

195
00:08:55,652 --> 00:08:59,654
All right, guys, what game
do you want to play?

196
00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:00,889
E'
Let's see.

197
00:09:00,891 --> 00:09:04,626
How about
“Emily or Cinnamon”"

198
00:09:05,695 --> 00:09:07,562
You know what? I think
it's a little weird

199
00:09:07,564 --> 00:09:09,397
that you remember me
saying all these things.E'

200
00:09:09,399 --> 00:09:12,901
Maybe the truth is-- you're
jealous of all my relationships.

201
00:09:13,703 --> 00:09:15,737
Oh, maybe I am.

202
00:09:15,739 --> 00:09:17,438
Who wouldn't want
to be the girl,

203
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,441
or possibly dog,
to hear the words:

204
00:09:20,443 --> 00:09:22,410
“You're so lucky.

205
00:09:22,412 --> 00:09:24,512
You have the
shiniest hair”.

206
00:09:28,018 --> 00:09:29,984
That is a tough one.

207
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,220
Uh, I-I know he brushes
both of them.

208
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,457
Gentlemen...
Yeah.

209
00:09:36,459 --> 00:09:39,627
I have figured out the perfect
way for you to irritate me.

210
00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:43,498
I'd like you to be my
intellectual sparring partners.

211
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,900
From now on,
when I make an assertion,

212
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:47,335
I need you to challenge it.

213
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:50,805
So you just want us to disagree
with whatever you say?

214
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:51,973
Yes.

215
00:09:51,975 --> 00:09:54,842
And you think that's going to help?
Yes.

216
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,445
Well, I don't think
that's gonna help at all.

217
00:09:57,447 --> 00:09:58,880
Oh, no, it will.

218
00:09:58,882 --> 00:10:02,383
See, by keeping my mind engaged,
I'll become more focused.

219
00:10:02,385 --> 00:10:04,786
Howard's right--
that'll never work.

220
00:10:04,788 --> 00:10:06,421
Stop fighting me on the premise.

221
00:10:06,423 --> 00:10:08,022
It's scientifically valid.

222
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,624
I'm going to advance
propositions,

223
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:11,192
I just want you to challenge me.

224
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:14,062
I don't think that's
what you want at all.

225
00:10:15,131 --> 00:10:16,764
Why, of course it's what I want.

226
00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:19,300
Why would I say it's what I want
if it's not what I want?

227
00:10:19,302 --> 00:10:22,537
Because it is what you want,
and it's not what you said.

228
00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:27,041
I ask you for one simple thing,
and you can't even do it.

229
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,610
Yes, we can.
Yeah, well, then do it.

230
00:10:28,612 --> 00:10:30,244
Nah.

231
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,047
You guys are the worst.

232
00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:38,086
Thank you,
I think that was helpful.

233
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:49,682
So, whichever rep has
the best sales for the quarter

234
00:10:49,684 --> 00:10:51,250
gets a trip for two to Hawaii.

235
00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:53,819
That would be so romantic
for you and Leonard.

236
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,188
Yeah, clearly you haven't
seen him on the beach

237
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:58,090
walking around
with his metal detector.

238
00:10:59,427 --> 00:11:00,726
If I were going to Hawaii,

239
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:03,395
I'd spend all my time
at the Keck Observatory.

240
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:05,064
Did you know that
the telescopes there have

241
00:11:05,066 --> 00:11:06,599
better resolution
than the Hubble?

242
00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:08,033
Really?

243
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,102
Want to go to Hawaii?

244
00:11:11,072 --> 00:11:12,071
(knocking on door)
SHELDON: Ladies?

245
00:11:12,073 --> 00:11:13,806
(knocks on door)
Ladies...

246
00:11:13,808 --> 00:11:15,541
(knocks on door)
Ladies?

247
00:11:15,543 --> 00:11:17,076
Come in.

248
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,445
Ladies.

249
00:11:19,447 --> 00:11:20,946
What's up?

250
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,282
As you may know,
I've been experimenting

251
00:11:23,284 --> 00:11:25,017
with elevated anxiety levels,

252
00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:26,252
and I thought,

253
00:11:26,254 --> 00:11:28,220
what better way
to increase my discomfort

254
00:11:28,222 --> 00:11:29,922
than to subject myself
to an evening

255
00:11:29,924 --> 00:11:32,491
of tasteless
uncensored crotch talk?

256
00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:38,130
What exactly do you think
goes on here?

257
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,732
Well...

258
00:11:39,734 --> 00:11:41,433
conversations that you wouldn't
be comfortable having

259
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:43,068
in front of the opposite sex.

260
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,870
You know, who has
the best cervix.

261
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,108
Which sanitary napkin
is all the rage right now.

262
00:11:49,110 --> 00:11:52,645
Men's buttocks, and how you want
to pat and squeeze them.

263
00:11:54,282 --> 00:11:56,715
We were talking
about Penny's job.

264
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,651
And how difficult it is to do

265
00:11:58,653 --> 00:12:00,719
when she's bloated,
cranky and crampy?

266
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:02,821
Continue.

267
00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:06,592
Sheldon, we are just people.

268
00:12:06,594 --> 00:12:08,794
We talk about the same things
you guys talk about.

269
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:11,563
You talk about
if werewolves can swim?

270
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,232
See, Leonard says yes,

271
00:12:13,234 --> 00:12:15,935
but I say it depends on
if the human could swim

272
00:12:15,937 --> 00:12:16,902
before he was bitten.

273
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,570
What do you think?

274
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,441
Let's just talk
about our periods.

275
00:12:22,443 --> 00:12:24,043
No, hold on.

276
00:12:24,045 --> 00:12:27,046
All canines instinctively know
how to swim.

277
00:12:27,048 --> 00:12:29,748
Why wouldn't a werewolf have
the same abilities?

278
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,418
Well, they're not
a hundred percent wolf.

279
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:35,187
They're a werewolf--
that's only part wolf.

280
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,289
It's like comparing
apples to oranges.

281
00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:39,091
Thank you.

282
00:12:39,093 --> 00:12:41,794
Oh, and technically, it's apples
that turn into were-oranges

283
00:12:41,796 --> 00:12:43,495
when the moon is full.

284
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,832
Hey, this is fun.

285
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,934
We should do it sometime
when you aren't all PMS'ing.

286
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,502
Bye.

287
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:57,810
(Darth Vader breathes, the Joker
laughs, Godzilla roars)

288
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:00,546
What is going on?

289
00:13:00,548 --> 00:13:01,814
Oh.

290
00:13:01,816 --> 00:13:04,483
Uh, I need to keep my anxiety
at the right level,

291
00:13:04,485 --> 00:13:08,253
so I'm using Darth Vader,
the Joker, and Godzilla's roar

292
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,022
to keep me in that sweet spot.

293
00:13:12,093 --> 00:13:14,460
Uh, I tried including
Taylor Swift in the mix,

294
00:13:14,462 --> 00:13:16,662
but turns out I love her.

295
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,667
Well, at least listen to it
through headphones.

296
00:13:21,669 --> 00:13:23,669
I'm trying to sleep.
Good night.

297
00:13:24,505 --> 00:13:26,205
Boy!

298
00:13:27,475 --> 00:13:30,709
Taylor was right-- haters gonna
hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

299
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,548
You've been working
so much lately,

300
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:38,617
I'm glad you didn't forget
about date night.

301
00:13:38,619 --> 00:13:40,152
Of course.

302
00:13:42,423 --> 00:13:43,423
Sheldon.

303
00:13:43,424 --> 00:13:44,990
Yeah.

304
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,893
Maybe you want to put the
notebook away and talk to me.

305
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:49,928
(stammers)
I can do both.

306
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,598
No, my brain is working
at optimal capacity.

307
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,633
No, I can have
a conversation with you

308
00:13:54,635 --> 00:13:58,771
and solve the dark matter proton
decay problem at the same time.

309
00:13:59,874 --> 00:14:01,240
Fine.
How was your day?

310
00:14:01,242 --> 00:14:02,741
Oh, you said it.

311
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,578
Sheldon.

312
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,247
Sheldon, I'm
worried about you.

313
00:14:08,249 --> 00:14:09,982
You're not eating,

314
00:14:09,984 --> 00:14:11,984
you haven't
slept in days,

315
00:14:11,986 --> 00:14:14,753
and, to be honest, that
cap is starting to smell.

316
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,556
I know.

317
00:14:17,558 --> 00:14:20,259
It's replaced Godzilla as
my principle source of anxiety.

318
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:27,933
Okay, so it's one vote Emily,
one vote Cinnamon.

319
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,035
Penny, you're
the tiebreaker.

320
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:34,473
Say the quote again.

321
00:14:34,475 --> 00:14:38,777
“It's just so perfect
that we're both Libras.”

322
00:14:43,918 --> 00:14:46,218
Wow, this is hard.

323
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,252
I'm gonna say
Cinnamon.

324
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,354
Yes! Yes!
Come on!

325
00:14:50,691 --> 00:14:52,391
That was the last one,
I promise.

326
00:14:52,393 --> 00:14:53,625
We won't play anymore.

327
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,060
Thank you.

328
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:57,296
'Cause if she ever found out,
it would hurt her feelings.

329
00:14:57,298 --> 00:15:00,132
Emily's feelings?

330
00:15:00,134 --> 00:15:02,000
Yes, Emily.

331
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,969
Nice! - Yay!
Good job!

332
00:15:05,706 --> 00:15:07,406
Whatever.
Where's Sheldon?

333
00:15:07,408 --> 00:15:08,640
Date night.

334
00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:10,342
Mmm, that can't be
much fun for Amy.

335
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,845
You know, at work today,
he tried his first Red Bull.

336
00:15:12,847 --> 00:15:13,879
What happened?

337
00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:15,214
He chased a squirrel

338
00:15:15,216 --> 00:15:17,216
around the quad
for a while and...

339
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,352
...then threw up in my car.

340
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,490
Don't you think you should
make him stop all this?

341
00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:26,925
I don't know-- he's not
really hurting anybody.

342
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:30,996
You didn't have to scoop vomit
out of your glove compartment.

343
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,764
He is getting
a lot of work done.

344
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,501
He had a pretty interesting
take on proton decay.

345
00:15:35,503 --> 00:15:39,171
Wow, if he cracks that,
it's a game changer, guys.

346
00:15:39,173 --> 00:15:41,206
It'll completely redefine
our understanding

347
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,875
of the physical universe.

348
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,612
Hmm, it would.

349
00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:49,181
Okay, back to
“Emily or Cinnamon”"

350
00:15:50,451 --> 00:15:55,120
“How can such a little girl
eat such a big steak”"

351
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:00,826
Sheldon,

352
00:16:00,828 --> 00:16:02,661
I want you to take
that cap off.

353
00:16:02,663 --> 00:16:06,698
That nagging tone is
helping my anxiety, yeah.

354
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,034
But if you could maybe just go
ten percent less shrill,

355
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,670
that'd really put the zip-a-Dee
in my doo-dah.

356
00:16:11,672 --> 00:16:14,206
I'm sorry, but
you know we agreed

357
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:15,941
not to bring work
to date night.

358
00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:18,377
There you go, perfect.

359
00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:20,345
Sheldon, stop it,
I'm not kidding.

360
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:23,182
Take the cap off, and
put the notebook away.

361
00:16:23,184 --> 00:16:26,885
But after months of struggling,
I'm finally making progress.

362
00:16:26,887 --> 00:16:29,788
You don't need to drive yourself
crazy in order to be productive.

363
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:31,723
Or do I, hmm?

364
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:34,092
Sir Isaac Newton wrote
his<i> Principia</i>

365
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,728
while convinced he was
an armadillo.

366
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,096
That's not true.

367
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,765
Yeah, well, maybe it is,
maybe it isn't.

368
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:41,633
I have been
hallucinating lately.

369
00:16:43,971 --> 00:16:45,571
Sheldon, this has to stop.

370
00:16:45,573 --> 00:16:48,106
You need to get some sleep
and take care of yourself.

371
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,943
Amy, I have gotten more done
in the last few days

372
00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:53,278
than I have since I made
the switch to dark matter.

373
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,648
What if I stop doing this,
and it all goes away?

374
00:16:56,650 --> 00:17:00,385
Your thoughts and ideas come
from you, not from your anxiety.

375
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,653
Hmm, perhaps.

376
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:03,322
But I'm not taking
the cap off.

377
00:17:04,258 --> 00:17:06,258
It's one thing to make
yourself miserable,

378
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:08,627
but you're making everyone
around you miserable, too.

379
00:17:08,629 --> 00:17:12,331
Now, I'm telling you for the
last time-- take the cap off.

380
00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:13,966
Oh!

381
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:15,300
Really?

382
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,935
What if I don't?

383
00:17:16,937 --> 00:17:20,305
And before you answer that,
can I have my dessert?

384
00:17:21,742 --> 00:17:23,976
And then she
threw me out.

385
00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:29,014
Me, her very
own boyfriend.

386
00:17:29,016 --> 00:17:31,717
When all I've done is try
to help humanity reach

387
00:17:31,719 --> 00:17:34,920
a more profound understanding
of the world we live in.

388
00:17:38,092 --> 00:17:39,424
Yeah, well, women--

389
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:41,293
what are you gonna do?

390
00:17:44,031 --> 00:17:46,565
I knew you'd understand,
Armadillo Isaac Newton.

391
00:17:51,005 --> 00:17:53,672
Okay...

392
00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:56,008
Here we are.

393
00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:57,976
Hey.

394
00:17:57,978 --> 00:17:59,811
What are you trying to pull?

395
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:03,148
The president of
science isn't in here.

396
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:06,051
You lie down, he'll be here
in a minute.

397
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:08,987
Okay.

398
00:18:08,989 --> 00:18:11,156
Hey, I thought you were
trying to trick me.

399
00:18:14,228 --> 00:18:15,894
Now, you just
get comfortable.

400
00:18:15,896 --> 00:18:18,563
No, no, comfort is the enemy.

401
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,865
You know what's comfortable?

402
00:18:19,867 --> 00:18:23,602
Slippers and blankets
and panda bears.

403
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:29,007
Imagine a panda bear with
Richard Feynman's face on it.

404
00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:33,512
Warm up the car, Leonard,
it's poster time.

405
00:18:33,514 --> 00:18:35,147
Maybe in the morning.

406
00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:36,581
Yeah, you get
some sleep.

407
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:39,051
No, I don't want to go
to sleep-- you can't make me.

408
00:18:39,053 --> 00:18:40,519
You're right, we can't.

409
00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:41,787
Yeah, darn straight, you can't.

410
00:18:41,789 --> 00:18:43,322
Try to tell a grown man
to go to sleep...

411
00:18:43,324 --> 00:18:46,024
♪ Soft kitty ♪

412
00:18:46,026 --> 00:18:48,193
♪ Warm kitty ♪

413
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,696
♪ Little ball of fur... ♪

414
00:18:50,698 --> 00:18:53,031
That's not gonna work.

415
00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:56,668
♪ Happy kitty,
sleepy kitty ♪

416
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:57,636
♪ Purr ♪

417
00:18:57,638 --> 00:19:00,706
BOTH:
♪ Purr, purr. ♪

418
00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:05,811
You know, he can be
a lot of trouble,

419
00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:08,847
but when I see him lying
here asleep like this,

420
00:19:08,849 --> 00:19:11,483
I just think...

421
00:19:11,485 --> 00:19:14,720
how easy it would be to
hold a pillow over his face.

422
00:19:23,235 --> 00:19:25,769
Wow, you look like
you got some rest.

423
00:19:25,771 --> 00:19:27,738
Oh, I'm feeling
much better.

424
00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:30,107
And I've also been
continuing to make progress

425
00:19:30,109 --> 00:19:32,943
without artificially
raising my anxiety levels.

426
00:19:32,945 --> 00:19:35,612
I turned on the heat in my car
and some vomit came out,

427
00:19:35,614 --> 00:19:36,981
so my levels--
right up there.

428
00:19:36,983 --> 00:19:38,949
Hey, guys.

429
00:19:38,951 --> 00:19:40,351
Mind if Emily
joins us for lunch?

430
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:41,652
Yeah, sure. Yeah, no problem.
Of course not.

431
00:19:41,654 --> 00:19:44,588
So I hear you guys have been
playing a little game.

432
00:19:44,590 --> 00:19:47,825
Well, um, we were
just kidding around.

433
00:19:47,827 --> 00:19:50,527
Well, you may think it's funny
that Raj is sweet and sensitive,

434
00:19:50,529 --> 00:19:52,696
but I think it's sexy.

435
00:19:56,234 --> 00:19:58,569
Ugh, why is there dog hair
in your mouth?

436
00:20:02,712 --> 00:20:09,212
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>