December Prayer

Almighty Galamachis, hear my prayer. I have wandered lost in this world bearing questions without knowing whom could answer them... I am in need of guidance.
 I was told that my questions were not for the judge, but for the reaper.

A time that felt so long ago I was taken, and tortured, and I thought to myself with certainty, 'this is how I die'. At first it was a thought of fear, then determination: If this was my fate, then I submit to it. However... death did not come for me. By improbable coincidence, or providence of fate, I was found, and rescued. And I thought that to be the end of the matter.
Since that night, that feeling of resignation has never left me. I can feel it eating away at me, as if I had somehow slighted the fates, by either my hand or someone else's. Since that night, I have fallen six times further. Each time alone. Each time, despite impossible odds, found and pulled from judgment at the last moment.
The final time... In my confusion, in my anger, in my overwhelming feeling of emptiness, I tried to deliberately end my life. I had to know if it was simply luck, or something greater. I went out into the wilds where no one could find me, and submitted myself to the monsters lurking within the forest. I felt their claws tear at my flesh, my consciousness fade, my body grow cold.
Then... I awoke. Sore, but unharmed, and alone. Every time I wake, I feel less of myself. My existence is unnatural, but I know not how or why. All I know is that I have accrued a debt, created an imbalance, that I must correct.

I wish to follow you in protecting the sanctity of death. Keeper of the Dead, hear my plea: Guide me to right this wrong and I will become your servant, your speaker.
...Please. I don't want to be hollow any more.