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Nov 23rd, 2014
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  1. This process is intricate but it will work. You're going to need quite a few supplies...
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  3. - Six B class model rocket motors
  4. - A length of wire (the longer the better)
  5. - A large tupperware container that will fit the iPhone safely
  6. - 1 bag of styrofoam peanuts
  7. - 2 boxes of wheat enriched spaghetti noodles
  8. - 1 jar of Ragu thick and chunky mushroom tomato sauce
  9. - 3 candles (preferably non-scented)
  10.  
  11. ...Begin by placing your iPhone in the tupperware, you'll want to make sure to fill packing peanuts around it to give it a secure (but slightly loose) "shuttle". Attach the model rocket motors to the corners in a balanced pattern so that thrust is equal and there are no areas where an unbalanced lift would take place...this is very important, as you will need an aligned orbit for your device once it breaks through the atmosphere.
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  13. Once the shuttle is prepared, the spaghetti needs to be boiled for no longer than 9min. on high. This may leave the noodles a bit al dente, but it's ok, the earth's tug on the noodles will surely finish them to a fine, finished texture. Once the 9min. have passed, pour the noodles (water and all) onto the iPhone within the container...this is going to provide what scientists call a "Starch-Hydro Platform" within the container...this platform will ensure that the iPhone has a safe trip into space! (how cool is that? Your iPhone is about to join the ranks of Buzz Aldrin, a few monkeys and Tom Hanks!)
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  15. Once you have your platform settled, add the tomato sauce. This is really not a necessity, but it will give the iPhone a nice aroma, and what's better than a nice smelling device? (refrain from trying to eat it, glass and metal is hard on the teeth).
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  17. Light the candles for a romantic ambiance.
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  19. Finally...you're ready for blast off! Wire up your engines to an electrical source (the best would probably be sticking them directly into a high voltage socket...this will give the engines instant power!). Your iPhone is going to have a rough (but delicious) ride! When it returns, it will have actually traveled in TIME! This is the part where it gets tricky, sometimes the trip goes forward...you need BACKWARD...in order to reset the password. If the first attempt doesn't work, try more rocket motors and perhaps a little less sauce...the perfect combination will lead you to your ultimate result!
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  21. Good luck space cadet! And god speed!
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