OhOper

9:25 AM - titus n. owl: http://i665.photobucket.com/albums/vv18/GrueProfane/ShamMagic015.jpg SCOUTMOM'S NOT BLOND

9:26 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter: yes she is

9:26 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter: she's just dying her hair

9:26 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter: that's why Scout is blonde, you know

9:26 AM - Kahtiihma: pff

9:26 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter: is the description for the product or for scouts mom? :V

9:27 AM - titus n. owl: oh man i think i'm going to smoke that weed anyway

9:27 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter is funny because scout's mom is a whore.

9:27 AM - titus n. owl: and then i'm going to fucking

9:27 AM - titus n. owl: listen to a dude speak fucking anglo-saxon

9:27 AM - titus n. owl: yeah i think scout's mom is literally a legitimate prostitute

9:28 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter: well she is at LEAST a slut - in my opinion

9:28 AM - titus n. owl: she legit sleeps with people in exchange for they pay for groceries

9:28 AM - titus n. owl: her relationship with red spy is one of those HOOKER WITH A HEART OF GOLD things

9:28 AM - titus n. owl: one day he's going to catch her turning tricks when he comes back from out of town unexpectedly

9:29 AM - titus n. owl: and they'll find her corpse in the charles river

9:29 AM - Kahtiihma: why did I laugh at this

9:29 AM - titus n. owl: it was meant to be something you laughed at even though it's not actually funny

9:29 AM - titus n. owl: so i'm glad it succeeded

9:30 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter: you succeeded with me, too

9:30 AM - titus n. owl: my grandmother was one of those women ._.

9:31 AM - titus n. owl: back in the '40s and '50s

9:31 AM - titus n. owl: let me tell you about my grandfmother

9:32 AM - titus n. owl: so she grew up on a farm up so close to quebec that her mom used to swear at her in french canadian and my only memories of my grandmother's mother are of visiting her in the nursing home when i was very young and she was very old, and when i was being well behaved she would call me chou-chou and if i pissed her off she would screech at me in a language i did not understand

9:32 AM - titus n. owl: anyway my grandmother who is the screeching quebec woman's daughter not the screeching quebec woman herself

9:32 AM - titus n. owl: was like 17 during ww2

9:32 AM - titus n. owl: and she decided that what she needed to do was hitchhike all the way to new york city

Omgrun & The Million Peso Man entered chat.

9:32 AM - titus n. owl: and then start fucking sailors on their way out to war

9:33 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: what did I walk in on

9:33 AM - {BRO} Oh, Oper!: LOL

9:33 AM - titus n. owl: the story of my grandmother

9:33 AM - {BRO} Oh, Oper!: brilliance

9:33 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: perfect timing

9:33 AM - titus n. owl: so she was basically whoring herself out to military guys and then one of them fell in love with her or some shit

9:33 AM - {BRO} Oh, Oper!: Not quite, you missed her grandmother's mother's little details

9:33 AM - {BRO} Oh, Oper! teehees

9:33 AM - titus n. owl: and when he got medical discharged from the navy he was like OH LORRAINE <3 LET'S BUY A LITTLE HOUSE, RAISE SOME CHILDREN

9:34 AM - titus n. owl: she was like shit yes he'll buy me a house :D

9:34 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: Well this is defintely more interesting than actually doing my research

9:34 AM - titus n. owl: so they got a house and grandma started pumping out babies like there was no tomorrow

9:34 AM - titus n. owl: patty penny pearl priscilla peggy and peach

9:35 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter: god, reminds me of my grandma. she was not a prostitute or something, but she had an illegimate child. I GOT TO KNOW I HAVE ANOTHER AUNT TWO WHOLE YEARS AGO GUISE. and you know, it's HORRIBLE and a SHAME that my dead grandparents once thought about getting divorced. GASP.

9:35 AM - titus n. owl: and the sailor was kind of a gigantic douchebag anyway but he got this job that involved going out of a town a lot

9:35 AM - titus n. owl: and when my grandfather was out of town, grandma would go to the only bar in town and pick up drifters

9:36 AM - titus n. owl: because she couldn't fuck anybody who lived around there, or word would get back to her husband

9:36 AM - titus n. owl: small town you know

9:36 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: pfffff

9:36 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: lol my family is ridiculously boring compared to all this

9:36 AM - titus n. owl: and one day my grandfather caught her in flagrante, packed up all his shit, waved goodbye to his five daughters, got in the car and drove to south carolina, whence he was never heard from again

9:37 AM - titus n. owl: so that left my grandmother without any income to feed her five daughters, so she started steppin' up the prostitute angle. she'd have "boyfriends" that would pay for the groceries and fix things around the house and shit

9:37 AM - titus n. owl: anyway the point of the story is that i think that's what scout's mom does

9:37 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: LOL

9:37 AM - titus n. owl: and i think scout being the youngest is the only one who doesn't realize that that's what his mother does to upt food on the table

9:37 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: yeah I see it

9:37 AM - titus n. owl: he think it's all innocent and shit and all his older brothers are like you idiot mom's a whore

9:37 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: how many kids does she have again

9:37 AM - titus n. owl: only you can't actually say that

9:37 AM - Scythe | Sanitäter: eight

9:37 AM - {BRO} Oh, Oper!: 8

9:37 AM - titus n. owl: scout's youngest of 8

9:38 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: and she's still pretty hto

9:38 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: *hot

9:38 AM - Kahtiihma: for 50

9:38 AM - titus n. owl: my grandmother had multiple boyfriends until

9:38 AM - titus n. owl: like

9:38 AM - titus n. owl: last year

9:38 AM - titus n. owl: well that's an exaggeration

9:39 AM - titus n. owl: but when i was little and she was like in her 50s she was still out there catchin' the menfolk by droves. i remember her having two different "friends" at one point both of whom would take me out for ice cream to get points with my grandmother

9:39 AM - titus n. owl: now she's on like a government income because she's old or something. whatever you call that shit

9:39 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: pfffff

9:39 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: social security?

9:40 AM - titus n. owl: yeah that

9:40 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: oh hey kaht

9:40 AM - titus n. owl: so between getting social security and getting old and her one boyfriend like died of liver failure a couple years ago

9:40 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: by the way I'm sorry I ran out on ya'll yesterday

9:40 AM - titus n. owl: she has hung up her hookin' shoes

9:40 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: power outage

9:41 AM - titus n. owl: my hooker grandmother's actually a really nice lady though

9:41 AM - Kahtiihma: nah it's okay

9:41 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: I was like fml worst timing ever

9:41 AM - titus n. owl: my other grandmother's a huge bitch and i pretend she doesn't exist. she has a sister that calls herself my third grandma, she's way better than my actual grandmother.  aunt norma says that bitchgrandma was never a prostitute but only because she was too ugly to get paid "and they call that a slut, dear"

9:41 AM - Kahtiihma: haha

9:42 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: LOL

9:42 AM - Scythe crochets: PFFFHAHAHAHA

9:42 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: you have a lot of interesting stories

9:43 AM - titus n. owl: aunt norma is the font of all that is awesome and does not mince words in my family. she tells me stories about growing up in the depression and then in the '60s she got involved in the civil rights movement and took a bus to alabama and met a black guy and they got married and hung out with gay people and did tons of weed so she has a lot of very cool stories to tell and there is nothing that could happen in my life that would shock her

9:44 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: I wish I had a family member like that

9:44 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: my entire family is like solid deep-south texasfolk

9:44 AM - Scythe crochets: my family is 90% rural catholic people

9:45 AM - Omgrun & The Million Peso Man: if I told my grandma I wasn't a christian she would probably flip out and strat trying to exorcise me

9:45 AM - titus n. owl: in the late '70s my parents were separated and aunt norma took my mom (who was taking care of my older sister; i wasn't born yet) under her wing and introduced mom to some of her friends down in nyc and stuff and would babysit my sister while my mom went to broadway shows and was a fag hag