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- ######## Timer Stylesheet
- #timer_text
- {
- display: none;
- color: #000000; /* Jonah */
- color: #BBBBBB; /* Sugarcane */
- font-weight: bold;
- font-size: 28px;
- margin: 10px 0 20px 0;
- }
- #timer_canvas
- {
- display: none;
- width: 150px;
- height: 150px;
- }
- ######## cash
- //You have $<<print $cash>>! Congratulations!
- ######## transition
- addStyle(".passage { opacity:1 !important; } "); function fade(f, c) { if(c.onComplete) { c.onComplete()}}
- ######## Start
- <<display MAINMENU>><<set $difficulty = 0>><<set $challenge = "NORMAL">><<set $optionsvisited = 0>><html><a title="hits counter"
- href="http://statcounter.com/"
- target="_blank"><img
- src="http://c.statcounter.com/9108413/0/0c7a98f8/1/"
- alt="hits counter" style="border:none;"></a></html>
- ######## StoryTitle
- ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON III
- ######## MAINMENU
- <html><h1>ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON III</h1></html>
- [[NEW GAME|START]]
- [[LOAD GAME]]
- [[OPTIONS]]
- [[GUIDE]]
- [[CREDITS]]
- [[QUIT]]<<silently>><<set $gender = "none">>
- <<set $gen = 0>>
- <<set $cash = 20000>>
- <<set $plans = 0>>
- <<set $pass = 0>>
- <<set $bugchest = 0>>
- <<set $chest1 = 0>>
- <<set $chest2 = 0>>
- <<set $embezzle = 0>>
- <<set $skel = 0>>
- <<set $vase = 0>>
- <<set $shareware = 0>>
- <<set $weapon = 0>>
- <<set $cell = 0>>
- <<set $cell1 = 0>>
- <<set $vaulted = 0>>
- <<set $knife = 0>>
- <<set $porp = 0>>
- <<set $punch = 0>>
- <<set $trash_end = 0>>
- <<set $prison_end = 0>>
- <<set $decompose = 0>>
- <<set $cop = 0>>
- <<if $optionsvisited eq 1>>
- <<set $difficulty = $difficulty - 1>>
- <<set $optionsvisited = 0>>
- <<endif>><<endsilently>>
- ######## START
- [[CUSTOM CHARACTER|GENDER]]
- [[RANDOMLY GENERATED|NEW GAME 2]]
- ######## NEW GAME 2
- <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>><<if $rand eq 1>>You have died during character creation.
- Please try again.
- [[RESTART|MAINMENU]]<<else>><<silently>>
- <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 2)>>
- <<if $rand eq 0>>
- <<set $gender = "woman">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 1>>
- <<set $gender = "man">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 2>>
- <<set $gender = "replicant">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $gender eq "woman">>
- <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>>
- <<if $rand eq 0>>
- <<set $name = "Alexus Steel">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 1>>
- <<set $name = "Electrum Comessa">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 2>>
- <<set $name = "Indra Anvil">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 3>>
- <<set $name = "Olivia Heat Death">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 4>>
- <<set $name = "Lana Ulterior">>
- <<endif>>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $gender eq "man">>
- <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>>
- <<if $rand eq 0>>
- <<set $name = "JP 'Vector' LeMorgan">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 1>>
- <<set $name = "Testosterone Bill">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 2>>
- <<set $name = "Buster Almondmind">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 3>>
- <<set $name = "Terrence Cavanagh">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 4>>
- <<set $name = "Jacoby 'Wildcat' Jones">>
- <<endif>>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $gender eq "replicant">>
- <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>>
- <<if $rand eq 0>>
- <<set $name = "Money Machine">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 1>>
- <<set $name = "Mammon Mark II">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 2>>
- <<set $name = "Violator Crescendo">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 3>>
- <<set $name = "Cash Viper">>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $rand eq 4>>
- <<set $name = "Dollar Drone Sloane">>
- <<endif>>
- <<endif>><<endsilently>>
- <html><h3>CHARACTER INFO</h3></html>
- NAME: <<print $name>>
- SIGNATURE BUSINESS CARD: <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 6)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Liquid Flensed<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Brushed<<endif>><<if $rand
- eq 2>>Laser-Etched<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Biomechanical<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Mottled<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Nano-Woven<<endif>><<if $rand eq
- 6>>Bleached<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Ivory<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Obsidian<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Gold
- Leaf<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Denim<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Abalone<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Neon<<endif>><<if $rand eq 6>>Sandstone<<endif>><<if $rand
- eq 7>>Emerald<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Diamond<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Chrome<<endif>><<if $rand eq
- 1>>Leather<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Fossil<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Steel<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Eggshell<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Seashell<<endif>><<if
- $rand eq 6>>Ambergris<<endif>><<if $rand eq 7>>Crystal<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Graphite<<endif>>
- GENDER: <<if $gender eq "woman">><<print "WOMAN">><<endif>><<if $gender eq "man">><<print "MAN">><<endif>><<if $gender eq "replicant">><<print
- "REPLICANT">><<endif>>
- DIFFICULTY: <<print $challenge>>
- [[GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD]]<<endif>>
- ######## LOAD GAME
- [[kelly - 67:28 - Frozen Church Zone IV]]
- SAVE SLOT 2
- SAVE SLOT 3
- [[BACK|MAINMENU]]
- ######## kelly - 67:28 - Frozen Church Zone IV
- //Your big sister's save file. Best not to fuck with it.//
- [[...|LOAD GAME]]
- ######## GUIDE
- [[BESTIARY]]
- [[TIPS]]
- [[BACK|MAINMENU]]
- ######## BESTIARY
- CAR: Watch out for mysterious "car". Haunts cities at all hours. Known for its mournful, ferocious "beep".
- COP: Cops will protect you.
- TANGLETWEEPS: Kill them with a double jump. They are harmless.
- SKELEGROANS: Strong in packs. Catch them alone when sleeping or at breakfast with spouse and children then tap x to kill them.
- CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD (EXOSKELETON): Do not attempt to face without at least 10 points in hacking. Conventional weapons are useless against their
- augmented exoskeletons.
- CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD (NON-EXOSKELETON): These are basically a joke.
- TEAR ELEMENTAL: Can only be summoned by the most powerful (saddest) lachrymancers.
- AERO-CENTIPEDE: When a corporation of power **** or greater is destroyed, its consciousness is uploaded to the dormant aero-centipede in its roots. This
- centipede flies until it finds a safe place to regenerate.
- BEACH BEE: If you keep getting stung, ask yourself, where is beach bee's hive? Destroy it and Beach Bee will become sad.
- TRASH BEES: Unlike the independent free market beach bee, trash bees believe in communism and as such pool their resources deep below the earth. Their
- hives are made from trash and their honey is 90 percent liquid trash and 10 percent liquid trash.
- FLAPFLAP: 17 hp. 9 attack speed. 44 intensity. Special attack: Rambunctious.
- [[BACK|GUIDE]]
- ######## TIPS
- In times of stress your heightened tycoon senses will allow a mystical "world-soul-fusion" to common materials!
- Low Tier: Wood, Plastic, Fake Grass, Mundane Cardboard
- Mid Tier: Glass, Fabric, Blessed Cardboard
- High Tier: Gold, Porcelain, Fur, GemWall
- Save up 1 Million Dollars to win the game!
- Drink lots of water!
- [[BACK|GUIDE]]
- ######## OPTIONS
- <<set $difficulty = $difficulty + 1>><<if $difficulty eq 5>><<set $difficulty = 1>><<endif>>[[DIFFICULTY|OPTIONS]]
- <<if $difficulty eq 1>><<set $challenge = "NORMAL">>EASY
- ''[NORMAL]''
- HARD
- NIGHTMARE
- <<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 2>><<set $challenge = "HARD">>EASY
- NORMAL
- ''[HARD]''
- NIGHTMARE<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 3>><<set $challenge = "NIGHTMARE">>EASY
- NORMAL
- HARD
- ''[NIGHTMARE]''<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 4>><<set $challenge = "EASY">>''[EASY]''
- NORMAL
- HARD
- NIGHTMARE<<endif>>
- <<if $challenge eq "NORMAL">>Enemies have regular HP. Bee AI set to Realistic.<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "HARD">>Enemies have 1.5x HP. Bee AI set to
- Erratic.<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">>Enemies have 2x HP. Bee AI set to Hell Mode. <<endif>><<if $challenge eq "EASY">>Enemies have 1/2 HP. Bee
- AI set to Nice.<<endif>>
- [[BACK|MAINMENU]]
- <<set $optionsvisited = 1>>
- ######## CREDITS
- Developed by the [[Porpentine Educational Computing Consortium|http://aliendovecote.com]]
- Awarded 2nd Best Edutainment Developer of 1995 by the Alcoa Agricultural Society of Tennessee
- Testers:
- [[Leon Arnott|http://l.j-factor.com/]]
- [[Lilith Megiddo|http://cicadamarionette.com/]]
- Special Thanks to:
- The Alcoa High School goth club for babysitting the kids of our many talented developers when we were working those late night "crunch" times to ship the
- very product you see today!
- [[BACK|MAINMENU]]
- ######## GENDER
- <html><h3>GENDER SELECT</h3></html>
- [[MALE]]
- [[FEMALE]]
- [[REPLICANT]]
- ######## FEMALE
- GENDER: FEMALE
- IS THIS CORRECT
- [[YES--PROCEED|NAME]]
- [[NO--ABORT|GENDER]]
- <<set $gender = "woman">>
- ######## MALE
- GENDER: MALE
- IS THIS CORRECT
- [[YES--PROCEED|NAME]]
- [[NO--ABORT|GENDER]]
- <<set $gender = "man">>
- ######## REPLICANT
- GENDER: REPLICANT
- IS THIS CORRECT
- [[YES--PROCEED|NAME]]
- [[NO--ABORT|GENDER]]
- <<set $gender = "replicant">>
- ######## NAME
- <<set $name = prompt("INPUT NAME")>><html><h3>NAME INPUT</h3></html>
- YOU ENTERED: <<print $name>>
- IS THIS CORRECT
- [[YES--PROCEED|SETTING]]
- [[NO--ABORT|NAME]]
- ######## SETTING
- <html><h3>WORLD GEN PARAMETERS</h3></html>
- [CITY]
- ROMAN (Deluxe Edition Only)
- ARCOLOGY OF TERROR (Deluxe Edition Only)
- JURASSIC (Jurassic Edition Only)
- ATLANTIS (Wet n' Wild Edition Only)
- [[ACCEPT|NEW GAME]]
- ######## NEW GAME
- <html><h3>CHARACTER INFO</h3></html>
- NAME: <<print $name>>
- SIGNATURE BUSINESS CARD: <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 6)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Liquid Flensed<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Brushed<<endif>><<if $rand
- eq 2>>Laser-Etched<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Biomechanical<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Mottled<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Nano-Woven<<endif>><<if $rand eq
- 6>>Bleached<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Ivory<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Obsidian<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Gold
- Leaf<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Denim<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Abalone<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Neon<<endif>><<if $rand eq 6>>Sandstone<<endif>><<if $rand
- eq 7>>Emerald<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Diamond<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Chrome<<endif>><<if $rand eq
- 1>>Leather<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Fossil<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Steel<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Eggshell<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Seashell<<endif>><<if
- $rand eq 6>>Ambergris<<endif>><<if $rand eq 7>>Crystal<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Graphite<<endif>>
- GENDER: <<if $gender eq "woman">><<print "WOMAN">><<endif>><<if $gender eq "man">><<print "MAN">><<endif>><<if $gender eq "replicant">><<print
- "REPLICANT">><<endif>>
- DIFFICULTY: <<print $challenge>>
- [[GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD]]
- ######## GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD
- <<set $gen = $gen + 1>>
- <<if $gen eq 1>>
- GENERATING SKYSCRAPERS
- <<display "Timer Addon">>
- <<set_timer_mode "display">>
- <<set_timer_param "GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD">>
- <<start_timer 2>>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $gen eq 2>>
- IMPLEMENTING JARGON
- <<display "Timer Addon">>
- <<set_timer_mode "display">>
- <<set_timer_param "GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD">>
- <<start_timer 2>>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $gen eq 3>>
- SPAWNING SHAREHOLDERS
- <<display "Timer Addon">>
- <<set_timer_mode "display">>
- <<set_timer_param "GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD">>
- <<start_timer 2>>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $gen eq 2>>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $gen eq 4>>
- MODULATING CAPITALISM
- <<display "Timer Addon">>
- <<set_timer_mode "display">>
- <<set_timer_param "GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD">>
- <<start_timer 2>>
- <<endif>>
- <<if $gen eq 5>>
- [[ENTER BUSINESS WORLD|BUSINESS WORLD]]
- <<endif>>
- ######## BUSINESS WORLD
- Hello, <<print $name>>.
- You are a prominent business<<print $gender>> in the money business.
- [[Good luck.|hub]]<<if $difficult eq 0>><<set $hate = "EASY">><<endif>>
- ######## QUIT
- PLEASE TRY OUR OTHER TITLES
- ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON
- ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON II: TROUBLED WATERS
- ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON: DELUXE EDITION
- ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON V: THE JURASSIC PERIOD
- BEACH BEE: TRIVIA LAS VEGAS
- SPECIAL COP
- ANGRY CYBORG WOMAN SPECIAL AGENT
- ######## sugarjonah
- History.prototype.originalDisplay = History.prototype.display;
- History.prototype.display = function (title, link, render)
- {
- if ((render != 'quietly') && (render != 'offscreen'))
- removeChildren($('passages'));
- this.originalDisplay.apply(this, arguments);
- };
- ######## webfont
- WebFontConfig = {
- google: { families: [ 'Open+Sans:400,700:latin' ] }
- };
- (function() {
- var wf = document.createElement('script');
- wf.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https' : 'http') +
- '://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/webfont/1/webfont.js';
- wf.type = 'text/javascript';
- wf.async = 'true';
- var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0];
- s.parentNode.insertBefore(wf, s);
- })();
- ######## trashsea
- You crawl down through the hole in the street, treading across [[putrid sand|thisaway]].
- ######## north
- Titanic golden pillars ridged with dollar signs.
- ONE MILLION DOLLARS TO PASS THESE GATES
- WHERE GLORY FAME AND POWER AWAITS
- <<if $cash lt 1000000>>A Capitalist Force Field blocks your path, humming greedily.
- //It never works, but you always bounce against the green energy a few times, listlessly hoping something will change, that the game's immutable code will
- have magically slipped like the guts of an analogue machine where a gear can grind down or a pin can break.//
- [[Return|hub]]<<else>>The Capitalist Force Field zaps out of existence.
- [[Through the gates|onward]]<<endif>>
- ######## hub
- //You gaze at the top of the screen. $<<print $cash>>. <<if $cash eq 1000000>>Holy fuck you've never had this much before now you can go through the
- MAMMON GATES holy fuck!<<else>>Still not enough.<<endif>> <<if $weapon eq 1>>At least you have a weapon now.<<endif>>
- You wonder if you need to change the [[difficulty|DIFFICULTY]]. Intermittently you check your [[stats|STATS]].
- //
- The [[Mammon Gates|north]] frame the sky to the north.
- Your [[corporate fortress skyscraper|elevator up]] looms behind you. The restaurant district shakes with the bellows of [[Weapon Chef|chef]].
- [[Oasis Zone VI|shareware]] lies east, just beyond the city walls. If you travel downward through the Landfill Catacombs you will reach [[Subterranean
- Trash Zone II|down]] (you feel [[weird|about zone]] about that place).
- <<if $cop eq 3>>The Cop's massive body <<if ($trash_end neq 1) and ($prison_end neq 1)>>has smashed open the street, exposing an entrance to [[the Trash
- Beach|thisaway]]. More Cops are streaming from the [[Station|mistook]] to gaze on it in horror.<<endif>><<if $decompose eq 1>>is decomposing in a pool of
- shattered, bloody glass.<<else>><<if $prison_end eq 1>>has smashed open the street, exposing an entrance to [[the Trash Beach|thisaway]].<<endif>><<if
- $trash_end eq 1>>is being gazed at by horrified Cops streaming from the [[Station|mistook]].<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>
- <<silently>><<if $optionsvisited eq 1>>
- <<set $difficulty = $difficulty - 1>>
- <<set $optionsvisited = 0>>
- <<endif>><<endsilently>>
- ######## shareware
- <<if $shareware eq 0>><<set $code = prompt("INPUT SHAREWARE CODE")>><<if $code neq "3497282">>//The computer beeps angrily.
- You've spent hours trying to get past the shareware border. Maybe they forgot something. A crack in their code. But you can't find it, no matter how much
- you run along the walls jumping and hoping to pop through to the other side, suddenly free of the oppressive city, free to run through a forbidden world
- of shifting sands and shimmering water.//
- The beautiful Oasis Zone VI lies just on the other side of the [[city gates|hub]]. Glittering blue water and green frond-pillars.
- The leylines of capitalism are strong in this place and where they run the sand is burnt to glass, black roads of power gleaming with sunlight. Much
- business has been conducted here.
- //The entrance is guarded by a massive shareware sign.//<<else>>The shareware barrier disappears in a shriek of candied static.
- //"THANK YOU FOR BUYING A LEGITIMATE COPY OF ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON III
- GAME DEVELOPERS ACROSS THE GLOBE SALUTE YOUR DEDICATION TO FREE COMMERCE"
- Firework animations explode from a gold trophy.//
- The beautiful [[Oasis Zone VI|oasis]] lies just on the other side of the [[city gates|hub]]. Glittering blue water and green frond-pillars.
- The leylines of capitalism are strong in this place and where they run the sand is burnt to glass, black roads of power gleaming with sunlight. Much
- business has been conducted here.<<set $shareware = 1>>
- <<endif>><<else>>The beautiful [[Oasis Zone VI|oasis]] lies just on the other side of the [[city gates|hub]]. Glittering blue water and green frond-
- pillars.
- The leylines of capitalism are strong in this place and where they run the sand is burnt to glass, black roads of power burning with sun. Much business
- has been conducted here.<<endif>>
- ######## oasis
- //Tan pixels spray across the screen in an approximation of dusty wind. The horizon is fringed with <<if $weapon eq 1>>dark<<else>>bright<<endif>> blue,
- the oasis scrolling endlessly until it seems more like a beautiful inland sea.//
- Cool wind skims across the oasis, ruffling your hair.
- <<if $weapon eq 0>>Proto-merchants have set up tents of bee leather at the foot of an ancient [[statue]] and are hawking their [[wares]].
- [[Haggle for weapons]]<<endif>><<if $weapon eq 1>>The proto-merchants are packing their wares in preparation for nightfall. The oasis glows with nocturnal
- Jelly Critters.<<endif>>
- Palm pillars looped with fronds and the occasional sparkling fruit.
- [[Collect ivory frond|frond]]
- [[Collect obsidian frond|frond]]
- [[Collect lucky fruit|fruit]]
- City lies back west.
- [[Trudge west|shareware]]<<set $shareware = 1>>
- ######## frond
- You add a frond to your inventory. This is a calming activity.
- [[Back|oasis]]
- ######## fruit
- You jump fruitlessly.
- //Just another reminder of your terrible Jump stat.//
- [[Back|oasis]]
- ######## Haggle for weapons
- <<if $bugchest eq 0>>The proto-merchants glide toward you in a billow of slime. After some haggling, it would seem you do not have what they desire.
- They are looking for a Bone Wallet, a Cat AI, or a Fire Chip.
- [[Back|oasis]]
- <<endif>><<if $bugchest eq 1>>
- They take your Cat AI and gesture to their wares.
- [[Take Armcannon Relic (+2 Armor Penetration, +10 Friendly Fire)|get weapon]]
- [[Take Machine Flower (Modes: Poison Ice, Ice Poison)|get weapon]]
- [[Take Kitten Gloves (+10 Murder)|get weapon]]
- <<set $weapon eq 1>><<endif>><<if $bugchest eq 3>>
- They are packing up their wares.<<endif>>
- ######## get weapon
- //The weapon bounces into your inventory with a satisfying sound that loosens the knot of your spine.
- Pling.//
- [[Back|oasis]]
- <<set $weapon = 1>>
- ######## statue
- //You can only see the naked feet of this statue. The rest is offscreen. You jump up and down but the screen doesn't rise enough to show more than a few
- extra inches of leg (female leg?).
- You feel weird doing this.//
- [[Back|oasis]]
- ######## wares
- Across the merchant's table you see many weapons...
- ...the salvaged armcannon from a security mech (in the faded gold and blue colors of an extinct corporation), a machine flower that can spray poison ice
- (probably from Meadow Death Zone I), and what appear to be kitten-shaped punching gloves stained with blood.
- [[Back|oasis]]
- ######## elevator up
- <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 2)>><<if $rand eq 0>>//Why the fuck is this elevator cutscene so long.//<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>//You jump
- around in the elevator on top of the other passengers. They don't react.//<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>//You nod your head back and forth to the bouncy
- elevator muzak.//<<endif>>
- [[Okay|office]]
- ######## office
- <<if $cop eq 1>>//The Cop's pixelated muscles are still here. Shit.//
- You did a bad thing...a Cop came...images of violence and terror flash across your eyeballs...can you escape this horrifying cycle? Is it even possible?
- [[Grab the gun and fire|*bullet the Cop*]]
- [[Grab the gun and kill yourself|suicide]]
- [[Charge the window with your gorgeous executive body and smash through the glass and feel the drapes caress your suited form as you soar to the asphalt
- below|window]]<<else>>Burgundy carpet. Monogrammed wallpaper. Spotless windows frame the sprawling cityscape. The [[Embezzlertron]] is behind your
- [[desk]].
- The [[Control Room entrance|control room]] is behind your secret bookshelf.
- The exit is outside your office and down the [[elevator|elevator down]].<<endif>>
- ######## elevator down
- <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 2)>><<if $rand eq 0>>//Why the fuck is this elevator cutscene so long.//<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>//You jump
- around in the elevator on top of the other passengers. They don't react.//<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>//You nod your head back and forth to the bouncy
- elevator muzak.//<<endif>>
- [[Okay|hub]]
- ######## control room
- You enter the Control Room.
- Shareholders burble in their vats as the leeching fluid extracts Invisible Hand orgones from their rich creamy skin.
- Enormous bootstraps spin like great looms as they generate endless money with their magical leather friction.
- A holoscreen displays the plans you drew up last night along with vital [[City stats]].
- Your desk follows you obediently, kneeling on its human legs to present itself for your pleasure. Good desk.
- Weapons-grade potassium is stacked in the corner.
- [[Check desk contents|deskinv]]
- [[Check latest news on rivals|rivals]]
- [[Check holoscreen plans|holo]]
- <<if $porp eq 0>><<if ($plans eq 1) and ($pass eq 1)>>[[Head to PorpCo|get]]
- [[Return to office|office]]<<else>>[[Return to office|office]]<<endif>><<else>>[[Return to office|office]]<<endif>>
- ######## City stats
- GENTRIFICATION 87% | BOOTSTRAPS 76% | NEOLIBERALISM 99%
- [[Excellent|control room]]
- ######## rivals
- <<if $porp eq 0>>PORPCO
- Status: Active
- Power: ****
- Product: Crystals, estrogen, tears.
- Weakness: Potassium.<<else>>PORPCO
- Status: Dormant
- Power: ???
- Product: Crystals, estrogen, tears.
- Weakness: Potassium.<<endif>>
- SPIDERCO
- Status: Chilling
- Power: **
- Product: Being a bunch of spiders.
- Weakness: None.
- PUFFCO
- Status: ???
- Power: *
- Product: Puffballs
- Weakness: Squish.
- [[Back|control room]]
- ######## get
- //You have acquired:
- 1 Gun
- 1 Vial of Weapons-grade Potassium//
- <<if $weapon eq 1>>You drop the weapon you got from the proto-merchants. Too conspicuous for this kind of infiltration.
- [[Nice|ride]]<<else>>[[Nice|ride]]<<endif>>
- ######## ride
- The glittering skyscraper, the oily water, the beach of ground-up deprecated coinage.
- [[Shipwrecks]] of failed bank-boats litter the metal sands.
- The PorpCo gate looms.
- [[USE PASS ON GATE]]
- ######## USE PASS ON GATE
- You insert the pass into the gate's security slit.
- <<replace "Sweat.">>Sweat.
- <<replace "Sweat.">>Sweat.
- The gate slides open with a rumble.
- You walk through a sealed glass executive airbridge, high above the tearmoats. Drowned corporate spies litter the grounds, a warning to all who would
- infiltrate upon PorpCo.
- The glittering [[inner chambers]] beckon.<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## inner chambers
- You enter the antechamber of the exochamber of the inner chamber's endoantechamber, a spacious dome bristling with security.
- What marvelous abalone accents, and those mobile attack turrets, wow, they must fire at least 2 pellets per second. Truly a fashionable firing rate, the
- latest in corporate fortress fashion.
- An exoskeletoned security guard approaches, hand at their hipgun.
- <<if $gender eq "woman">>"Excuse me, ma'am. <<endif>><<if $gender eq "man">>"Excuse me, sir. <<endif>><<if $gender eq "replicant">>"Excuse me, honored
- replicant. <<endif>> No weapons allowed on the premises. You'll have to leave your firearm with us for safekeeping."
- [[Surrender the gun]]
- [[Shoot the guard in the face]]
- ######## Shoot the guard in the face
- Your bullets ricochet harmlessly off the abalone exoskeleton!
- The guard gyrates wildly, energy projectiles firing from their hips!
- //Red pixels spew from your character. The game makes a disappointed squelch and you die.
- That sound always makes you feel...ashamed? Like the game wanted you to win and you let it down?//
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "DESTROYED BY PORPCO SECURITY GUARD">>
- ######## YOU ARE DEAD
- <<print $gameover>>
- [[RESPAWN|hub]]
- ######## Surrender the gun
- //The gun disappears from your avatar. The guard returns to their patrol. You wish you could play as a guard. Their exoskeletons are so cool.
- Purple-green. Shiny (a streak of white pixels across their bulbous shoulders). Protected by armor. No one can hurt them.
- No one can hit them.//
- The elevator is up ahead.
- [[Elevator|elevator]]
- ######## elevator
- You take the elevator to the top floor.
- Vapor drifts through the glittering glass room. Beams of crystal light arc from spire to spire.
- //These neon pink-crystal blue environments staring out over futuristic megacity grids and garishly colored oceans stirred something in your child's soul
- --places that felt like night and rain and future--feelings you would later chase in clubs and raves and bars--but morning light stole that feeling every
- time.//
- You see the corporate vault to the [[east|inv]].
- The control gem is to the [[north|gem]].
- ######## inv
- All the wealth of PorpCo is inside this vault--various robo-chests, barrels, and crates bathed in blue light.
- You see:
- [[J-Chest-9]]
- [[K-Chest-10]]
- [[L-Chest-11]]
- [[100 barrels of weaponized estrogen|estrogen]]
- [[500 safety knives]]
- [[Back|elevator]]
- ######## J-Chest-9
- <<if $chest1 eq 0>>This chrome ivory chest contains $100,000.
- <<set $cash = $cash + 100000>><<set $vaulted += 1>>
- <<display "cash">><<set $chest1 = 1>><<else>>This chest is empty.<<endif>>
- [[Back|inv]]
- ######## 500 safety knives
- Crate after crate of safety knives.
- <<if $knife eq 0>>[[Take safety knife|get knife]]
- [[Back|inv]]<<else>>[[Back|inv]]<<endif>>
- ######## get knife
- You snag one of the knives.
- [[Nice|inv]]<<set $knife = 1>>
- ######## L-Chest-11
- <<if $chest2 eq 0>>This obsidian manilla chest contains $500,000.
- <<set $cash = $cash + 500000>><<set $vaulted += 1>>
- <<display "cash">><<set $chest2 = 1>>
- <<else>>This chest is empty.<<endif>>
- [[Back|inv]]
- ######## estrogen
- The estrogen barrels hiss with cool heat, filling the room with eery blue light. Your chest itches.
- [[Back|inv]]
- ######## K-Chest-10
- This robo-chest coos softly when you open it. What beautiful craftsmanship, all covered in galaxy enamel and space silk. You want to curl up inside it and
- shut the lid, but...maybe another day.
- [[Back|inv]]
- ######## gem
- <<if $vaulted eq 2>>[[Destroy the Bio-Gem with the weaponized potassium|destroy]]<<else>>Better loot the vaults before blowing this place up.<<endif>>
- [[Back|elevator]]
- The Bio-Gem governs PorpCo in the absence of its mysterious CEOtrix. They say it was grown from her flesh, and is a perfect embodiment of her will.
- //This information, gleaned in tantalizing nuggets from the manual, was something you thought about at night.//
- ######## destroy
- //The Bio-Gem explodes, pixels spraying across the screen in frenzied depiction of what, presumably, a flesh gem looks like when it explodes--shimmering
- bright glints of pink blue purple red--
- The dialogue box pops up: "!!!"
- But you don't hit Spacebar, because this way the animation loops forever and you can watch the pixels stream until they're just beautiful noise, a digital
- fireplace, magical perma-violence, gorgeous, endless entropy--
- [[Hit Spacebar]]//
- ######## Hit Spacebar
- Running through the crumbling crashing skyscraper as statues tumble and chandeliers explode.
- //Something weird up ahead. An enemy? The graphics are ambiguous. You move [[closer|weep enemy]], spurred on by rhythmically falling pieces of ceiling.
- You wonder if the ceiling would crumble forever if you stood here.//
- ######## weep enemy
- The tear elemental flows across the floor, moaning pitifully.
- [[Run]]
- <<if $knife eq 1>>[[Wield safety knife]]<<endif>>
- ######## Wield safety knife
- You pull out the safety knife and <<replace "point it at the tear elemental.">>point it at the tear elemental.
- The blade retracts. A soothing voice says, "For your safety."
- You are holding a <<replace "handle.">>handle.
- The tear elemental splashes closer!
- [[Run]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## Run
- The tear elemental chases you through the exploding halls of PorpCo, glitter pumps spraying their contents as their hulls are breached.
- The corporate fortress's traps are malfunctioning as their circuitry burns up--spike pits opening and shutting like inconstant fissures, laser turrets
- spraying wildly.
- [[Jump across a spike pit|spike]]
- [[Lure the elemental in front of a laser turret|turret]]
- ######## turret
- The turret hits the tear elemental!
- The tear elemental is burning!
- The tear elemental has disintegrated!
- You catch a stray bolt to the <<if $gender eq "replicant">>data core!
- You have lost 1 Major Memory and 3 Minor Memories.
- <<else>>kidney!
- You have lost 1 Kidney.<<endif>>
- //Smoke and explosion graphics are everywhere. You're having trouble finding your avatar.
- There seems to be some kind of exit at the end of the screen, but you're not sure if that's supposed to be the sky of the outside world or a painting or
- just a boring wall tile or what.//
- [[Rush toward the exit]]
- ######## Rush toward the exit
- The skyscraper <<replace "explodes">>explodes.
- //You have no idea if you skillfully made it just in time or whether the skyscraper is scripted to explode when you get outside.
- You will <<replace "never know.">>////never know.//
- Chunks of metal splash into the sea, sending up hissing spray. From the glittering ruins of the skyscraper emerges a spiraling <<replace "aero-centipede
- .">>aero-centipede.
- You watch it disappear into the <<replace "clouds.">>clouds.
- Whatever. PorpCo's day will come.
- [[Trek back to City|piss]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<set $porp = 1>>
- ######## piss
- //Gotta take a piss first.
- You creep out into the [[hall]]. The bathroom door is open.//
- ######## hall
- //On the way you pass their [[bedroom]]. The door is slightly open. It's dark inside.//
- ######## bedroom
- //Those endless early days of lying on the floor of their bedroom, wrapped in blankets, head in the closet, smelling her shoes and his boots, cozy in the
- mess of their grown-up clothes, falling asleep to the sound of the air conditioner.
- The sunlight had a pure quality back then. Impossibly golden.
- You don't know why they started hitting you. It just <<replace "happened.">>happened.
- No one has to explain themselves to a <<replace "child.">>child.//
- You don't go in there [[anymore]].<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## anymore
- //You piss and scurry back to the [[computer|control room]].//
- ######## spike
- You leap over the spike pit!
- //"Jump Roll Failed" pops up, barely visible through the soaring flames//
- You fall into the spike pit!
- A spike punctures your <<if $gender eq "replicant">>data core!
- You have lost 1 Major Memory and 3 Minor Memories.
- <<else>>kidney!
- You have lost 1 Kidney.<<endif>>
- You crawl out of the spike pit!
- //Smoke and explosion graphics are everywhere. You're having trouble finding your avatar.
- There seems to be some kind of exit at the end of the screen, but you're not sure if that's supposed to be the sky or a painting or just a boring wall
- tile or what.//
- [[Rush toward the exit]]
- ######## Shipwrecks
- You shiver as skeletal financiers creep-clack from their ruined sea-palaces of financial failure and silently regard you. Do they wish to warn you, or do
- they simply hunger for the aura of money that clings to your ripe, healthy body?
- They do not move, even when the beach bees come to spin webs of honey in their ribcages.
- [[Turn away from this ghastly sight|ride]]
- ######## deskinv
- <<if $porp eq 1>>The desk contains:<<else>>The desk contains:
- a [[gun|gundesk]]<<endif>>
- a [[deskbrain]]
- <<if $pass eq 0>>a [[PorpCo Pass]]
- [[Back|control room]]<<else>>[[Back|control room]]<<endif>>
- ######## deskbrain
- The deskbrain oozes. You feed it some candy from your pocket. Pink lobes close greedily around the candy, swallowing every sweet morsel with a grotesque
- sucking sound.
- [[Back|deskinv]]
- ######## PorpCo Pass
- One of the notorious glittering corporations of the western seawall. Their security is top-notch--tearmoats, crystal beams, hormonal darts...
- So you had your best drones forge a pass using the latest tech. Hope it works.
- [[Take pass]]
- [[Back|deskinv]]
- ######## Take pass
- You snag the pass. Fancy shit, all holographic.
- [[Cool|deskinv]]<<set $pass = 1>>
- ######## gundesk
- You have killed many rival executives with this gun.
- [[Back|deskinv]]
- ######## holo
- <<if $porp eq 0>>OBJECTIVE: Destroy PorpCo HQ.
- LAYOUT: PorpCo consists of a coastal skyscraper fortress surrounded by deadly traps and elite security.
- METHOD: Weapons-grade potassium inserted into skyscraper's control gem.
- APPROACH: Infiltration using stolen pass.<<set $plans = 1>><<else>>OBJECTIVE: Acquire 1 million dollars.<<endif>>
- [[Back|control room]]
- ######## *bullet the Cop*
- The Cop surges into the room, a wall of flowing muscle. You fire wildly into the rippling flood of millipedal biceps. Blood spatters the walls!
- The Cop is still [[approaching]]!
- ######## approaching
- BLAM BLAM BLAM
- "Mind if I share my bullet-point presentation with you?"
- Spent bullet casings litter the floor. Blood splashes onto the ceiling and drips all over your scalp! Blood splashes all over your pens!
- <<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">> The Cop screams and your eardrums burst!<<else>>The Cop eats a filing cabinet!<<endif>>
- [[{RELOAD}]]
- ######## {RELOAD}
- You grab a handful of bullets and cram them into the gun, wedging them into every crack and crevice.
- BLAM BLAM BLAM
- Blood spatters the desk! Blood spatters the potted cactus! Blood spatters the computer!
- <<if $challenge eq "EASY">>The Cop's 27th heart explodes!<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">>The Cop sprays you with poison! The Cop eats your
- trophies!<<endif>><<if ($challenge neq "EASY") and ($challenge neq "NIGHTMARE")>>The Cop knocks over your diploma! The Cop knocks over your trophies! The
- Cop is undermining your social standing!<<endif>>
- The Cop is dripping blood and muscle fluid! The Cop is roaring! The Cop keeps [[coming]]!
- ######## coming
- You mutter, "The last time I saw something with this many holes was when I was playing golf!"
- BLAM BLAM BLAM
- Blood spatters the carpet! Blood spatters the rhododendron calender! Blood spatters your shoes!
- The Cop surges around the room in a circular path, spiraling closer and [[closer]]!
- ######## closer
- BLAM BLAM BLAM
- Blood spatters your face! Blood spatters your suit! Blood spatters your tie! Blood spatters your gun!
- <<if $challenge eq "EASY">> The Cop's 17th heart explodes! The Cop's 14th heart explodes! The Cop's hind lungs explode!<<else>>The Cop's thigh
- explodes!<<endif>>
- The Cop screams and [[crashes]] through the window, muscles twitching out of control!
- ######## crashes
- <<if $challenge eq "EASY">>You look down into the City below. The [[Cop|whew]] is lying in a pool of red blood and white muscle fluid. You suddenly crave
- an Italian dish with both red and white sauce. You wonder if that's a taboo.<<else>>You look down into the City below. The [[Cop]] is lying in a pool of
- red blood and white muscle fluid. You suddenly crave an Italian dish with both red and white sauce. You wonder if that's a taboo.<<endif>><<set $whew =
- 0>>
- ######## Cop
- The Cop lashes out with tendrils, draining energy from its environment. Bystanders, dogs, cars, fire hydrants, garbage--all consumed in hungry
- peristalsistic gulps. The Cop is reforming! The Cop is at 80 percent!
- Surrender and go down to the [[Station]]?
- Or keep [[fanning that hammer]]
- ######## fanning that hammer
- The Cop crawls up through the jungle of skyscrapers, horrendous mirrored images of bloody chewed up muscle flesh reflecting from every window. You can
- barely tell which is the real Cop, and which is illusory...
- You fire wildly in this house of mirrors, shattering fake after fake Cop. You feel warm muscular breath on the nape of your neck...
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "THE COP HAS YOU">>
- ######## Station
- The Station is massive, a smoking monolith. Cops disgorge themselves from pipes and flow into the City.
- The Cop takes you to Booking. The materials in this environment are Stainless Steel, Glass, Fabric, and Concrete.
- [[Time passes. Sweat sogs up your pits.]]
- <<if $AttunedGlass eq 1>>[[Explode all the glass.]]<<endif>> <<if $AttunedCurtains eq 1>>[[Destroy all fabric in this zone.]]<<endif>>
- ######## Destroy all fabric in this zone.
- Your clothes shred to 137 pieces! The Cop's uniform shreds to 23,532 pieces! The Station curtains resist!
- You are no longer arrested. You are now [[Fleeing]].
- ######## Fleeing
- You stagger through the city. God you stink of sweat you pathetic little toad...
- Loudspeakers erected at intervals throb and pulsate, blaring wildly. Soundwaves like jagged black lightning bolts flash through the air.
- "THE CRIMINAL IS AMONG US"
- "THE CRIMINAL IS AMONG US"
- "THE CRIMINAL IS AMONG US"
- Cop cars bounce over an asphalt hill, slamming down skidding from side to side as huge Cop arms slap at the ground to make their cars go even faster.
- The sewers [[beckon]]...
- ######## beckon
- Cop cars root around the sewer mouth, sniffing and slobbering and struggling to crawl inside.
- You try to remember your knowledge of the undercity...Subterranean Garbage Sea Zone I should be just [[south|thisaway]]...
- ######## thisaway
- You come to the trash beach of a garbage sea. A [[gurgull]] eyes you suspiciously. Orange-purple sludge laps at your feet.
- Various [[trash cans]] stick from the sludge like pillars from aluminum ruins.
- A [[coracle]] is flipped over on the sand.
- <<if $cop neq 3>>//'Cop Cars In Pursuit' flashes across the screen in big red letters.//<<endif>>
- ######## gurgull
- A thin stream of watery vomit dribbles from the gurgull's bill. This is truly a healthy animal.
- [[Back|thisaway]]
- ######## trash cans
- A family of crabs is living inside this trash can! The matriarch clacks out a clear message: S T A Y A W A Y F R O M M Y Y O U N G
- [[Back|thisaway]]
- ######## coracle
- Even a cityslicker like you can sense the work that went into this coracle, the fine trashbeast leather stretched over hydrant-wood ribbing.
- [[Flip it over]]
- ######## Flip it over
- You come to the trash beach of a garbage sea. A [[gurgull|gurgulll]] eyes you suspiciously. Orange-purple sludge laps at your feet.
- [[Trash cans|trash canz]] stick from the sludge like ancient ruins of aluminum.
- A [[coracle|a fine coracle]] is on the beach.
- [[USE coracle on ocean]]
- ######## gurgulll
- A thin stream of watery vomit dribbles from the gurgull's bill. This is truly a healthy animal.
- [[Back|Flip it over]]
- ######## trash canz
- A family of crabs is living inside this trash can! The matriarch clacks out a clear message: S T A Y A W A Y F R O M M Y Y O U N G
- [[Back|Flip it over]]
- ######## a fine coracle
- Even a cityslicker like you can sense the work that went into this coracle, the fine trashbeast leather stretched over hydrant-wood ribbing.
- [[Slap it affectionately|Flip it over]]
- ######## USE coracle on ocean
- You bob away on the [[coracle|behind]].
- Prismatic trash foam sprays across your bow, which on a coracle is probably its entire circumference. <<if $cop neq 3>>Police cars howl on the shore
- behind you.<<endif>>
- ######## behind
- You bob away on the coracle.
- Prismatic trash foam sprays across your bow, which on a coracle is probably its entire circumference.<<if $cop neq 3>> Police cars howl on the shore
- behind you.<<endif>>
- You don't know where the trash winds will take you, but somehow you don't [[care]].
- ######## care
- You bob away on the coracle.
- Prismatic trash foam sprays across your bow, which on a coracle is probably its entire circumference.<<if $cop neq 3>> Police cars howl on the shore
- behind you.<<endif>>
- You don't know where the trash winds will take you, but somehow you don't care.
- A [[song]] builds in your heart.
- <<set $song = 0>>
- ######## song
- <<set $song = $song + 1>><<if $song lte 10>>[[SING|song]]<<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 0>>
- Oh trash
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 1>>
- oh trash
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 2>>
- pungent panorama
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 3>>
- reeking horizon
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 4>>
- together we travel
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 5>>
- where oh we don't know where!
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 6>>
- You and me
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 7>>
- trash can't you see
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 8>>
- we were meant to be!
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 9>>
- to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
- <<endif>>
- <<if $song gt 10>>
- //As soon as you touch the horizon, the ocean screeches and jagged pulsating squares flood the screen.//
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "fatal error: error 0xFFFFFFFF">><<endif>><<set $trash_end = 1>><<if $prison_end eq 1>><<set $decompose = 1>><<endif>>
- ######## Time passes. Sweat sogs up your pits.
- Take prisoner <<print $name>> to [[processing|PROCESSING]], a robotic voice murmur-shouts over the loudspeaker.
- ######## PROCESSING
- <<if $gender eq "man">>The Cop comes and takes you to Processing. The Nurse enters the room. The Nurse shaves your chest. The Nurse shaves your face. The
- Nurse shaves your genitals. The Nurse shaves your ass. The Nurse shaves your arms. The Nurse shaves your legs. The [[Nurse]] sprays you down with cold
- water.<<endif>><<if $gender eq "woman">>The Cop comes and takes you to Processing. The Nurse enters the room. The Nurse shaves your belly. The Nurse
- shaves your genitals. The Nurse shaves your ass. The Nurse shaves your arms. The Nurse shaves your legs. The [[Nurse]] sprays you down with cold
- water.<<endif>><<if $gender eq "replicant">>The Cop comes and takes you to Processing. The Nurse enters the room. The Nurse scrubs your tertiary core. The
- Nurse scrubs your secondary core. The Nurse scrubs your bio-sockets. The Nurse scrubs your artifice glands. The [[Nurse]] scrubs your verisimilitude
- node.<<endif>>
- ######## Nurse
- //Your legs squeeze together as the jagged nurse stands next to your avatar making a vague gesture over and over again.
- Your avatar shivers. Their emotion bubble contains a question mark and tears. What [[next]]?//
- ######## next
- The Nurse exits the room. You wax nostalgic over her angly jangly body and chiseled cheekbones...
- The Cop comes to take you to your [[Cell|atmosphere]].
- ######## atmosphere
- Rattle of the bars, hot spit on cold floor, disinfectant reek, overflowing toilets. The [[skylight]] is frosted opaque and dark with birds. Your [[Cell]]
- is up ahead.
- ######## Cell
- <<set $cell += 1>>[[Newspaper]] lines the room. Birdseed gets in your toes. The walls are covered in [[scratches]].
- <<if $cell lte 4>>[[Wait|Cell]]<<endif>><<if $cell gte 5>>[[Wait|food]]<<endif>>
- <<if $cell eq 2>>Your stomach growls.<<endif>><<if $cell eq 4>>
- You pace restlessly.<<endif>>
- ######## Newspaper
- "Teen thugs spraypaint the mayor..."
- "Drug addicts are breaking into people’s homes and polishing their library cards to a lustrous finish..."
- "Animals demand food..."
- Headlines bleak as always. You shake your head at this fallen world.
- [[Sigh.|Cell]]<<set $cell -= 1>>
- ######## scratches
- the scratches read:
- THIS CELL BELONG TO FLAPFLAP
- [[Whatever.|Cell]]<<set $cell -= 1>>
- ######## food
- The door hatch opens and a plate of food slides through.
- [[FINALLY]]
- ######## FINALLY
- What the [[hell]]?
- ######## hell
- What the hell?
- This is birdseed! Nothing on this plate but damn birdseed!
- [[HEYYYYY]]
- ######## HEYYYYY
- You hear an exasperated grunt on the other side of the door. "Problem, prisoner?"
- [[THIS IS BIRDSEED|THIS IS BIRDSEED]]
- [[Ahem my dear fellow this provender appears to be of the birdseed persuasion|THIS IS BIRDSEED]]
- ######## THIS IS BIRDSEED
- He yells "Shut up, Flapflap."
- [[I'm not Flapflap, there's been a big mistake!|FLAPFLAP?]]
- [[WHO THE FUCK IS FLAPFLAP|FLAPFLAP?]]
- ######## FLAPFLAP?
- <<set $cell1 = $cell1 + 1>><<if $cell1 lte 1>>They walk away.
- [[Newspaper|Newzpaper]] lines the room. Birdseed in your toes. Walls covered in [[scratches|scratchez]].<<else>>[[Newspaper|Newzpaper]] lines the room.
- Birdseed in your toes. Walls covered in [[scratches|scratchez]].<<endif>>
- Plate of birdseed. Gross.
- <<if $cell1 lte 4>>[[Wait|FLAPFLAP?]]<<endif>><<if $cell1 gte 5>>[[Wait|bangin]]<<endif>>
- <<if $cell1 eq 2>>//You take off your glasses and rub the bridge of your nose. Your head hurts.
- You wake up in the morning and turn on your computer and at the end of the day you turn it off and go to sleep. Your head hurts.
- Your head hurts.//<<endif>><<if $cell1 eq 4>>Your avatar weeps and knocks the plate of birdseed aside.<<endif>>
- ######## scratchez
- the scratches read:
- THIS CELL BELONG TO FLAPFLAP
- [[Whatever.|FLAPFLAP?]]<<set $cell1 = $cell1 - 1>>
- ######## bangin
- //You run around the room but can't find anything. Is there some command you don't know about? Nothing seems to work.//
- [[Search|prison]]
- ######## prison
- //You can't find any way out of this prison.
- You// [[keep]] //playing.//
- ######## keep
- //You stare at the screen as your hunger bar slowly depletes.//
- You starve to death.
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "STARVED TO DEATH BECAUSE YOU WERE FED BIRDSEED">><<set $prison_end = 1>><<if $trash_end eq 1>><<set $decompose = 1>><<endif>>
- ######## Newzpaper
- "Teen thugs spray-paint the mayor..."
- "Drug addicts are breaking into people’s homes and polishing their library cards to a lustrous finish..."
- "Animals demand food..."
- Headlines bleak as always. You shake your head at this fallen world.
- [[Sigh.|FLAPFLAP?]]<<set $cell1 = $cell1 - 1>>
- ######## skylight
- //This crude pixel window reminds you of your own window. You look over at it for a while, index finger idly tracing the mouse.
- You don't get up, because then you would see the lawn, and beyond the lawn, the houses sprawling endlessly in every direction, a flat, cloned landscape
- where nothing can surprise.
- Sitting here on the floor rooted to the monitor by your mouse, there's just blue sky through half-drawn blinds and you can imagine you're floating above
- <<replace "everything.">>everything.
- <<replace "The game screeches.">>//The game screeches.
- The guard throws your avatar inside a [[Cell]].//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## Explode all the glass.
- The Station windows shatter! The Cop's glass pacemaker shatters! The glass of water on the reception desk resists!
- You are no longer Arrested. You are [[Fleeing]].
- ######## whew
- <<set $cop = 3>><<set $whew = $whew + 1>><<if $whew eq 1>>You return to your desk and put the gun back in the [[drawer|whew]].<<endif>><<if $whew eq 2>>
- You return to your desk and put the gun back in the drawer.
- From the street you hear the beautiful sound of money fluttering like paper doves from the disintegrating corpse of the cop. The money swirls through the
- window and dances inside your [[wallet|whew]].<<endif>><<if $whew eq 3>>
- You return to your desk and put the gun back in the drawer.
- From the street you hear the beautiful sound of money fluttering like paper doves from the disintegrating corpse of the cop. The money swirls through the
- window and dances inside your wallet.
- Your retinal implants turn your irises to dollar signs for a few moments. Score! Kaching! [[Kachow!|whew]].
- <<endif>><<if $whew eq 4>>
- You return to your desk and put the gun back in the drawer.
- From the street you hear the beautiful sound of money fluttering like paper doves from the disintegrating corpse of the cop. The money swirls through the
- window and dances inside your wallet.
- Your retinal implants turn your irises to dollar signs. Score! Kaching! Kachow!
- Back in [[business!|office]]
- <<set $cash = $cash + 100000>><<display "cash">><<endif>>
- ######## Embezzlertron
- <<set $embezzle = $embezzle + 1>><<if $embezzle eq 1>>The massive golden machine rumbles as it siphons money from an illegal tap in the money pipes
- running through the city. Suckers.
- <<set $cash = $cash + 10000>><<display "cash">>
- [[MORE|Embezzlertron]]
- [[Back|office]]<<endif>><<if $embezzle eq 2>>The massive golden machine rumbles as it siphons money from an illegal tap in the money pipes running through
- the city. Suckers.
- <<set $cash = $cash + 10000>><<display "cash">>
- [[MORE|Embezzlertron]]
- [[Back|office]]<<endif>><<if $embezzle eq 3>>The massive golden machine rumbles as it siphons money from an illegal tap in the money pipes running through
- the city. Suckers.
- <<set $cash = $cash + 10000>><<display "cash">>
- [[MORE|Embezzlertron]]
- [[Back|office]]<<endif>><<endif>><<if $embezzle eq 4>>A knock on the door.
- [[Shit]]<<set $cop = 1>><<endif>><<if $embezzle gt 4>>The machine wheezes but nothing comes out but a green mist of ghostly dollar signs.
- [[Back|office]]<<endif>>
- ######## Shit
- The door wobbles as knocks rampage through the woods pores. KNOCK KNOCK. KNOCK KNOCK.
- "[[Come in!]]"
- [[*silently open the drawer to your desk and cock the handgun inside*]]
- <<set $AttunedGlass = 0>><<set $AttunedCurtains = 0>>
- ######## Come in!
- The Cop barges through the door, squeezing its muscular form through the narrow doorframe.
- The Cop flexes to form a temporary face of musculature (a diplomatic technique taught to most Cops except for desk jockies who don't need to mingle with
- the public). Chemicals glisten from the throbbing, amorphous wall of muscle.
- You learned Muscle in college. You understand the flex lingo and get the idea that you better come down to the [[Station]] or risk making a [[scene]].
- ######## scene
- Your [[gun]] is in your luxury executive edition desk. Your gun is loaded.
- Or you could [[charge the window with your gorgeous executive body and smash through the glass and feel the drapes caress your suited form as you soar to
- the asphalt below|window]].
- ######## window
- Interface with glass shards? Outcome: Unpredictable | Timestream ramification: 0-100% [[OK|intglass]]
- Interface with curtains? Outcome: Acceptable | Timestream ramification: 73.5% [[OK|intcurtains]]
- Interface with falling to death? Outcome: Terminal | Timestream ramification: 100% [[OK|intconcrete]]
- ######## intcurtains
- You want to gag yourself with the curtains and hold yourself hostage. You want to wear the curtains as lingerie. You want to sell them for scrap metal and
- cigarettes. You want to live.
- Succumb to the dreadful impulse to [[live]], or free yourself through [[death]]?
- ######## live
- You cling to the curtains as the City Street honks and beeps and thronges below you in a brawling, seething rush of cars and crowd. The sky is perfectly
- blue. Birds flit across the yawing void, black dots like flies or dust.
- The Cop hauls you back inside and takes you back to the [[Station]].
- You are now Attuned to Fabric.
- <<set $AttunedCurtains = 1>>
- ######## death
- There is nothing particularly interesting about death.
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "AUTO-DEFENESTRATED">>
- ######## intconcrete
- You bounce off the pavement. Your skull shatters! Your ribcage shatters! Your left little toe explodes!
- A car is coming!
- Click [[here]] to die.
- ######## here
- A MERCILESS CAR HAS GROUND YOU UNDER ITS (W)HEEL. YOU ARE DRAGGED FOR MILES AND HAVE. NO SKIN. ONLY EXPOSED BONE. THE ASPHALT GRATES YOU LIKE CHEESE.
- [[OH MY GOD|YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "MURDERED BY CAR">>
- ######## intglass
- Skin and blood forms a network with the glass shards. The Cop grapples you back into the room.
- You are now Arrested. Your bloodstream is now 23 percent Glass Shard. You have now Attuned to Glass Shards.
- The Cop is taking you back to the [[Station]].
- <<set $Arrested = 1>>
- <<set $AttunedGlass = 1>>
- ######## gun
- You leap for your desk, grab the gun, and roll across the floor firing wildly into the rippling flood of millipedal biceps. Blood spatters the walls!
- The Cop [[screams and charges|approaching]]!
- ######## *silently open the drawer to your desk and cock the handgun inside*
- The gun is in your hand. The Cop slams open the door.
- [[*bullet the Cop*]]
- [[*bullet yourself*|suicide]]
- [[*ram the window with your whole executive body and smash through the glass and feel the drapes caress your suited form as you soar to the asphalt
- below*|window]]
- ######## suicide
- <<replace "You look calmly at the Cop. "Hope you have jurisdiction in Hell."">>"Hope you have jurisdiction in Hell."
- <<replace "Your teeth scrape along the barrel of the gun as you feed it into your mouth. You pull the trigger, painting the wall behind you a spectacular
- shade of brain-blood-skull. Wow what a dripping, messy mess!">>Your teeth scrape along the barrel of the gun as you feed it into your mouth. You pull the
- trigger, painting the wall behind you a particular shade of brain-blood-skull. Wow what a dripping, messy mess!
- The Cop plants his mouth on your gaping wound hole, tongue flicking down your throat, dragging air up your ruined pipe. Whirling tongue gymnastics and
- muscular air control techniques form a dazzling respiratory bridge between your throat and your brain. The Cop's saliva and meaty tongue and breath give
- you horrible life. He carries you back to the Station, rooted to his mouth, sucking up his <<replace "Cop air.">>Cop air.
- They won't let you die.
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "TURNED INTO COP SYMBIOTE">><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## desk
- You finger a business card from your luxurious collection:
- <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 6)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Liquid Flensed<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Brushed<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Laser-
- Etched<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Biomechanical<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Mottled<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Nano-Woven<<endif>><<if $rand eq
- 6>>Bleached<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Ivory<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Obsidian<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Gold
- Leaf<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Denim<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Abalone<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Neon<<endif>><<if $rand eq 6>>Sandstone<<endif>><<if $rand
- eq 7>>Emerald<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Diamond<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Chrome<<endif>><<if $rand eq
- 1>>Leather<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Fossil<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Steel<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Eggshell<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Seashell<<endif>><<if
- $rand eq 6>>Ambergris<<endif>><<if $rand eq 7>>Crystal<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Graphite<<endif>>
- <<replace "Ahh.">>Simply divine.
- [[Back|office]]<<endreplace>>
- ######## DIFFICULTY
- <<set $difficulty = $difficulty + 1>><<if $difficulty eq 5>><<set $difficulty = 1>><<endif>>[[DIFFICULTY]]
- <<if $difficulty eq 1>><<set $challenge = "NORMAL">>EASY
- ''[NORMAL]''
- HARD
- NIGHTMARE
- <<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 2>><<set $challenge = "HARD">>EASY
- NORMAL
- ''[HARD]''
- NIGHTMARE<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 3>><<set $challenge = "NIGHTMARE">>EASY
- NORMAL
- HARD
- ''[NIGHTMARE]''<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 4>><<set $challenge = "EASY">>''[EASY]''
- NORMAL
- HARD
- NIGHTMARE<<endif>>
- <<if $challenge eq "NORMAL">>Enemies have regular HP. Bee AI set to Realistic.<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "HARD">>Enemies have 1.5x HP. Bee AI set to
- Erratic.<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">>Enemies have 2x HP. Bee AI set to Hell Mode. <<endif>><<if $challenge eq "EASY">>Enemies have 1/2 HP. Bee
- AI set to Nice.<<endif>>
- [[BACK|hub]]
- <<set $optionsvisited = 1>>
- ######## STATS
- [<<print $name>>'s Resume]
- JUMP *
- SWIM *
- RANGED WEAPONS ***
- MELEE WEAPONS *
- HIRING **
- FIRING ****
- CORPORATE DUELING ETIQUETTE (KATANA) *
- CORPORATE DUELING ETIQUETTE (VIRTUAL SIM) **
- CORPORATE DUELING ETIQUETTE (HIGHWAY) ****
- [[Back|hub]]
- ######## mistook
- The Cops look suspicious!
- The Cops sniff you!
- The Cops hiss at you!
- They grapple your body and drag you to the [[Station]]!
- ######## chef
- Weapon Chef's grill chest flares occasionally with gouts of blue-red fire. Its iron face swivels and chants:
- FILL MY CHEST WITH THINGS THAT KILL
- AND I'LL COOK YOU CASH ON MY MAGIC GRILL
- [[Leave this place|hub]]
- <<if $weapon eq 1>>[[Hand over weapon|grill]]<<endif>>
- ######## grill
- Weapon Chef tosses the weapon inside its <<replace "chest.">>chest.
- Weapon Chef's eyes flash red! Smoke and fire shoots from its <<replace "belly!">>belly!
- EXCELLENT CHOICE THIS WEAPON IS PERFECT
- NOW WAIT A SECOND FOR ME TO SERVE IT
- [[Wait]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## Wait
- PLEASE ENJOY THIS TASTY TREAT
- OH SO SOUR OH SO SWEET
- An Amber Gooeeeeeeey Bun pops out!
- [[Eat Amber Gooeeeeeeey Bun|eat]]
- ######## eat
- You chomp the sticky roll.
- //The roll disappears and $100,000 appears in the form of a spinning green stack of bills. You run over and collect it before it disappears.//
- <<set $weapon = 3>><<set $cash = $cash + 100000>><<display "cash">>
- [[Nice|chef]]
- ######## down
- //You don't know what a pussy looks like. You wouldn't learn that you could apply those words to your own genitals until much later. Right now you've got
- nothing between your legs but a big blank space that you don't think about.//
- The putrid smell of trash...
- //You see the red-black-orange palette that signals the beginning of Subterranean Trash Zone II.//
- A huge [[bootstrap]] lies torn in a trashheap. An abandoned [[robo-chest]] lies in the muck.
- Bees swarm around the [[Bee Gate]] which leads to Underground Insect Zone XII.
- Subterranean Trash Zone II spirals downward.
- [[Return to the surface world|hub]]
- [[Enter the Bee Gate]]
- [[Delve deeper into Subterranean Trash Zone II|delve]]
- ######## robo-chest
- "I used to store money and weapons. Now I store nothing but my own [[tears]]."
- The robo-chest sinks further into the muck with a moan.
- [[Back|down]]
- ######## tears
- //You stare impassively at the [[blubbering]] cartoon chest.//
- ######## blubbering
- //You cry most days. You've been crying for years. There is no novelty, no shock, no <<replace "outrage.">>outrage.
- It's just <<replace "weather.">>weather.
- She got the worst of it <<replace "though.">>though.
- The permanent bags under her eyes that would never leave her as long as she lived, purple and <<replace "haunted.">>haunted.
- [[The first born.|down]]//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## Enter the Bee Gate
- <<if $challenge eq "NORMAL">>
- The Bee Swarm buzzes threateningly.
- [[Back away|down]]<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "HARD">>
- //The Bee Swarm is rushing back and forth erratically but you start to discern a pattern. You dash past the yellow/black cloud of droning pixels, dust
- animations popping up in your wake.//
- [[The Insect Zone is just on the other side|Insect Zone]]<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">>
- //The Bee Swarm attacks!
- Red numbers fountain through the air like numericized blood. You desperately hammer the arrow keys but you can't move fast enough and now you're poisoned,
- palette swapped to green, and--//
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]<<set $gameover = "DESTROYED BY BEE SWARM">><<endif>><<if $challenge eq "EASY">>
- //Little hearts bubble from the bees when you're near but they don't move. You try to jump over them but your jump comes just a few pixels short.//
- [[Back away|down]]<<endif>>
- ######## Insect Zone
- Sentinel hives buzzing with robo-hornets...
- Swarms of neon swamp ants glowing through gaps in the biomechanical floor plating...
- Subterranean Insect Zone XII.
- Behind some molted cicada-bot skins, you find <<if $bugchest eq 0>><<replace "a mound of bug dirt.">>a Golden Bug Chest!
- [[Open Bug Chest|bug chest]]<<endreplace>><<else>>a Golden Bug Chest.
- [[Open Bug Chest|bug chest]]<<endif>>
- [[Back through the Bee Gate|down]]
- ######## bug chest
- <<if $bugchest eq 1>>The Golden Bug Chest has been looted. A family of tangletweeps has taken up residence inside. They stare at you sleepily, blinking
- stamens.
- [[Back|Insect Zone]]<<endif>><<if $bugchest eq 0>>You kick the chest's unlocking medallion and the zig-zagging runes on the side coruscate with white
- light. The chest opens to <<replace "reveal...">>reveal...
- ...a Cat AI!
- You add the Cat AI to your inventory. It meows algorithmically.
- [[Back|creak]]<<set $bugchest = 1>><<endreplace>><<endif>>
- ######## creak
- //Your door creaks.
- [[Jerk your head around|sister]]//
- ######## sister
- //Your big sister is watching you from the dark of the hallway. When you look back at her, she leans against the doorframe and yawns.
- "Still playing? I got bored."
- [[It's a good game.|good]]
- [[Shut up.|shut up]]
- [[I'm trying to get a million dollars.]]//
- ######## good
- //"It's frustrating, you die all the time for no reason. And it's a buggy piece of shit."
- She rubs her face.
- "You, uh, wanna do anything? I was going somewhere soon, so maybe we should, hang out or something."
- [[I need to beat this game.|beat]]
- [[Where you going?|going]]
- [[I'm tired...|tired]]//
- ######## tired
- //She looks at you.
- "One day you'll wish you spent more time with me."
- [[Okay.]]//
- ######## Okay.
- //She's still looking at you.
- [[Look away.|mad]]
- [[Tap keyboard impatiently.|mad]]
- [[Stare at ceiling.|mad]]//
- ######## mad
- //"Remember how mad you'd get at that one game? For the N64? How I helped you get past those parts?"
- [[Sure.|time]]//
- ######## time
- //"I...really liked spending that time with you."
- [[Okay.|i forgot her anyways]]//
- ######## i forgot her anyways
- //She fidgets, then crosses the room and grabs her backpack.
- She throws some stuff inside and turns to leave. Her blue-grey eyes linger on every contour of your <<replace "face.">>face.
- She <<replace "starts to say something.">>looks away.
- She goes out into the hall and the bathroom door shuts and you hear the shower start.
- [[Turn back to game|Insect Zone]]//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## beat
- //She looks at <<replace "you.">>you.
- "One day you'll wish you spent more time with me."
- [[Okay.]]//<<endreplace>>
- ######## going
- //"...a friend's house." She stares at her feet.
- [[I need to beat this game.|beat]]
- [[I'm tired...|tired]]//
- ######## shut up
- //She scowls.
- Then she just looks tired.
- "You, uh, wanna do anything? I was going somewhere soon, so maybe we should, hang out or something."
- [[I need to beat this game.|beat]]
- [[Where you going?|going]]
- [[I'm tired...|tired]]//
- ######## I'm trying to get a million dollars.
- //She laughs.
- "Cool. Get your million videogame dollars."
- Her brow creases suddenly.
- "You, uh, wanna do anything? I was going somewhere soon, so maybe we should, hang out or something."
- [[I need to beat this game.|beat]]
- [[Where you going?|going]]
- [[I'm tired...|tired]]//
- ######## bootstrap
- Valuable find, but you'd need some kind of vehicle to haul it up. You caress the scored leather with regret.
- [[Back|down]]
- ######## delve
- //Pixel skeletons and stink lines. Repeating heaps of jagged trash chaos. You carefully navigate your character past gurgling pools of <<replace "toxic
- slime.">>toxic slime. One hit kill.<<endreplace>>//
- Garbage cans rain from the humid cavesky, an endless cascade of banging metal.
- The trash down here is mutated, arcane, hyper-dense.
- <<if $punch eq 1>>[[Up|down]]
- [[A smog-shrouded fortress to the east|trash1]]
- [[Pools of trash bubble to the west|trash2]]
- [[Sludge catacombs to the south|thataway]]<<else>>[[Up|move]]
- [[A smog-shrouded fortress to the east|move]]
- [[Pools of trash bubble to the west|move]]
- [[Sludge catacombs to the south|move]]<<endif>>
- ######## trash2
- [[Trash Fish]] is swimming through trash.
- <<if $vase eq 0>>A [[priceless vase]] has fallen here from the surface world. It must have seeped through the trash ceiling somehow.<<else>>Orange fluid
- condenses and drips from the garbage ceiling.<<endif>>
- [[Return|delve]]
- ######## Trash Fish
- "All I care about is trash!"
- //Trash Fish is a blue-green blob of jagged scales. You know Trash Fish because Trash Fish is one of the creatures on the cover of the game box. Hadn't
- seen it until now though.
- You wonder if all those creatures made it into the game or if some of them are trapped forever in the cover art, never given their own code.//
- [[Back|trash2]]
- ######## priceless vase
- //The vase description says "A clay vase from the pre-disaster era, ornamented with bands of green mica." It sparkles. Does clay sparkle? Guess all
- precious things in this game sparkle.//
- A precious vase poking up from the garbage.
- [[Smash vase]]
- [[Back|trash2]]
- ######## Smash vase
- <<set $cash = $cash + 50000>><<set $vase eq 0>>SMASH
- //The vase shatters. After a few seconds the shards flash and disappear. $50,000 pops out.//
- <<display "cash">><<set $vase = 1>>
- Many a capitalist made their start by smashing up random objects.
- [[Back|trash2]]
- ######## move
- //You start to [[move|punch]] in that direction and--//
- ######## punch
- <<set $punch = 1>>//Someone <<replace "punches your door">>punches your door and walks down the <<replace "hallway.">>hallway.
- The heavy tread of boots is fading.
- You stay perfectly still as the ridiculous videogame music fills the interval between the hard slam of the door and when your heart slows down <<replace
- "again.">>again.
- Your fingers stir, automatic, unthinking, filling the WASD, thumb on Spacebar, and [[shapes|delve]] on the screen start moving and making
- sounds.//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## trash1
- <<set $skel = $skel + 1>>The [[Garbage Fortress]] looms high in the fume-shrouded trash peaks. Corrugated battlements are hung with the ragged [[banners]]
- of whatever faction is currently controlling it.
- <<if $skel eq 1>>Skelegroans are patrolling.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 2>>Skelegroans are inspecting the trash pipes.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 3>>Skelegroans are
- building war machines to assault the surface.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 4>>Skelegroans are playing hopscotch.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 5>>Skelegroans are
- gambling to pass the time.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 6>>Skelegroans are squabbling over rules!<<endif>><<if $skel eq 7>>Skelegroans have murdered each
- other!<<endif>>
- You see a Gut Chest beyond the <<if $skel lt 8>>Skelegroans<<else>>remains of the Skelegroans.<<endif>>
- <<if $skel lte 7>>[[Wait|trash1]]<<endif>>
- <<if $skel lt 7>>[[Fight Skelegroans]]<<else>>[[Open Gut Chest]]<<endif>>
- [[Return|delve]]
- ######## banners
- //A cute skull full of worms on a green background.//
- Skelegroans rule the roost. Before that, Pufflings, and before that, Gust Hounds. An endless cycle. If they ever set aside their differences, the surface
- world is in big trouble.
- [[Back|trash1]]
- ######## Open Gut Chest
- <<if $gutchest eq 1>>The Gut Chest pukes up a thin stream of vomit. The vomit cannot be monetized.<<else>>You slap the Gut Chest and it pukes out
- $100,000. You insert the slimy cash into your wallet.<<set $cash = $cash + 100000>>
- <<display "cash">><<set $gutchest = 1>><<endif>>
- [[Back|trash1]]
- ######## Garbage Fortress
- //The fortress doesn't actually seem accessible. Just an animated background. Great parallax scrolling on those trash mountains though.//
- [[Back|trash1]]
- ######## Fight Skelegroans
- The Skelegroans swiftly surround and beat you with their skull sticks and bone-maces. Blood explodes from your head and belly!
- //You try to escape but one of them keeps hitting you with its shield and stunning you. You slam the keyboard but nothing happens.//
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "MURDERED BY SKELEGROAN MOB">>
- ######## thataway
- Venerable sludge monks embalmed in garbage line the rows of this ancient and sacred place. Up ahead you spot a reliquary enshrining a [[trash saint]].
- [[Pray]]
- [[Desecrate]]
- [[Back|delve]]
- ######## trash saint
- A slimy glass box with a trash saint's weird skull inside. Trash gems have been socketed into its forehead, representing their connection to the great
- trash-mind.
- Your grandparents used to believe in trash. Now trash swirls aimlessly through the streets, stepped on, ignored, no temples to shelter their once-sacred
- forms.
- [[Focus, focus...|thataway]]
- ######## Desecrate
- <<replace "You are struck down for this desecration!">>You are struck down for this desecration!
- <<replace "Your body becomes trash! Rotten egg yolk and rancid fat bubbles from your body!">>Your body becomes trash! Rotten egg yolk and rancid fat
- bubbles from your body!
- <<replace "You become part of the trashscape.">>You become part of the trashscape.
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "TURNED INTO TRASH FOR YOUR DESECRATION">><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## Pray
- The trash saint opens its eyelids to reveal black holes. Parasitic stalks extend from the sockets and probe your face.
- Your garbage brain is opened. You sense all trash in the city, a humid network of impossible power. You are becoming one with the trash.
- //Your avatar fades from existence.//
- [[YOU ARE DEAD]]
- <<set $gameover = "TRASHMERGING IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH CAPITALISM">>
- ######## Bee Gate
- //One of your earliest memories is being stung by a bee and sitting by the sink holding your arm under the cold water.
- At the time it was the worst pain you could imagine.//
- The Bee Gate is a pair of bulbous pillars striped yellow and black, set in a riveted foundation of metallic golden honeycomb.
- They say bees hang out here.
- [[Back|down]]
- ######## about zone
- //You remember looking up Subterranean Trash Zone II on the internet. People say you can see a girl's pussy there.
- You spent a lot of time just reading those words.//
- [[Back|hub]]
- ######## onward
- CONGRATULATIONS <<print $name>>
- NUMBER ONE CEO
- PLEASE TRY OUR OTHER BUSINESS TYCOON GAMES
- //People are [[yelling]] in your parent's bedroom.//
- ######## yelling
- //You hear your sister's footsteps, that you could never mistake for another, creep down the hall and into the kitchen, where you listen to the scrape of
- a Spaghettio can being removed from a crowded cabinet full of other cans, and placed in her backpack, then the zip of her backpack, the pause as she ties
- her shoes, and the soft sound of the backyard screen door closing as she goes around the side to avoid using the big creaky front door, because no one
- wants to be the focus of attention when the yelling <<replace "stops.">>stops.
- You are a cringing spider and this house is your shitty web. Your senses are fine-tuned to arguments, icy silence, and <<replace "violence.">>violence.
- You stare at the victory screen, green light reflected on your <<replace "glasses.">>glasses.
- Through a sliver in the blinds you watch your sister cross the <<replace "street.">>street.
- You start a [[new game]].//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## new game
- <<replace ".">><<replace ". .">>[[. . .|it is done]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## it is done
- //for the ones i left behind
- i didn't forget about [[you|again]]//
- ######## again
- //but i never thought i'd see you [[again|you]].//
- ######## you
- //but years later we found each other and
- you texted me a <<replace "drawing">>drawing
- [img[http://aliendovecote.com/uploads/twine/tycoon/aviary-head.jpg]]
- [img[http://aliendovecote.com/uploads/twine/tycoon/aviary-body.jpg]]
- "I guess the meaning behind this is that the aviary girl here wants to be 'normal'. She's ripping out her feathers, in symbolism with what makes her
- unique, killing herself softly, shutting down her connection with the sky, drowning her memories of the view of the churning blending of sky meeting sea."
- it's such a good drawing
- and we talked for hours after and i was holding the phone thinking what a perfect cool kind empathic genius my little sister had become. i'm so glad
- you're my [[sister|feathers]]. <3//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
- ######## feathers
- //i just want you to know
- i've stopped tearing out my feathers//
- ######## replace
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- removeChildren(n);
- new Wikifier(n,t);
- n.style.display = "inline";
- fade(n, { fade: "in" });
- }
- this.parentNode.removeChild(this);
- }
- b.nextMatch = d;
- }
- else {
- throwError(g, "can't find matching endreplace");
- delete h;
- return;
- }
- }
- }
- macros['endreplace']={handler: function () {} }
- ######## Timer Addon
- <<silently>>
- <<set $TimerAddon =
- function()
- {
- var div_timer_container = document.createElement('div');
- div_timer_container.setAttribute('id', 'timer');
- var div_timer_canvas = document.createElement('canvas');
- div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('id', 'timer_canvas');
- div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('width', '0');
- div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('height', '0');
- div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;
- div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_canvas);
- var div_timer_text = document.createElement('span');
- div_timer_text.setAttribute('id', 'timer_text');
- div_timer_text.innerHTML = "";
- div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_text);
- var Timer_Active = false;
- var Timer_Paused = false;
- var Timer_Mode = 'none';
- var Timer_Param = "";
- var Timer_Max = 0;
- var Timer_Now = 0;
- var div_jonah_floater = document.getElementById('floater');
- if(div_jonah_floater) div_jonah_floater.appendChild(div_timer_container);
- var div_sugarcane_menu = document.getElementById('sidebar');
- if(div_sugarcane_menu) div_sugarcane_menu.appendChild(div_timer_container);
- function StartTimer(val)
- {
- Timer_Active = true;
- Timer_Paused = false;
- Timer_Max = val;
- Timer_Now = val;
- div_timer_text.style.display = 'block';
- div_timer_canvas.style.display = 'block';
- }
- function StopTimer()
- {
- Timer_Active = false;
- div_timer_text.style.display = 'none';
- div_timer_canvas.style.display = 'none';
- }
- function PauseTimer()
- {
- Timer_Paused = true;
- }
- function ResumeTimer()
- {
- Timer_Paused = false;
- }
- function SetTimerText(text)
- {
- div_timer_text.innerHTML = text;
- }
- function SetTimerMode(mode)
- {
- if(mode == 'display')
- {
- Timer_Mode = 'display';
- }
- else if(mode == 'restart')
- {
- Timer_Mode = 'restart';
- }
- else Timer_Mode = 'none';
- }
- function SetTimerParam(param)
- {
- Timer_Param = param;
- }
- function OnTimerEnd()
- {
- StopTimer();
- if(Timer_Mode == 'restart')
- {
- state.restart();
- if(Timer_Param) alert(Timer_Param);
- window.location.reload(true);
- }
- else if(Timer_Mode == 'display')
- {
- state.display(Timer_Param[0]);
- }
- }
- function OnTimerTick()
- {
- if(Timer_Active && !Timer_Paused)
- {
- Timer_Now = Timer_Now - 0.2;
- if(Timer_Now <= 0) Timer_Now = 0;
- var context = div_timer_canvas.getContext("2d");
- div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;
- var x = div_timer_canvas.width / 2;
- var y = div_timer_canvas.height / 2;
- var radius = 1;
- var startAngle = 1.5 * Math.PI;
- var endAngle = (1.5 + (2 / Timer_Max * Timer_Now)) * Math.PI;
- var counterClockwise = false;
- context.beginPath();
- context.arc(x, y, radius, startAngle, endAngle, counterClockwise);
- context.lineWidth = 15;
- if(div_jonah_floater) context.strokeStyle = "#FF00FF";
- if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.strokeStyle = "#BBBBBB";
- context.stroke();
- context.font = 'bold 30px sans-serif';
- if(div_jonah_floater) context.fillStyle = "#FF00FF";
- if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.fillStyle = "#BBBBBB";
- context.fillText(Timer_Now.toFixed(1), 55, 85);
- if(Timer_Now <= 0) OnTimerEnd();
- }
- }
- setInterval(function(){ OnTimerTick(); }, 100);
- macros['start_timer'] =
- {
- handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
- {
- StartTimer(val);
- }
- }
- macros['stop_timer'] =
- {
- handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
- {
- StopTimer();
- }
- }
- macros['pause_timer'] =
- {
- handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
- {
- PauseTimer();
- }
- }
- macros['resume_timer'] =
- {
- handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
- {
- ResumeTimer();
- }
- }
- macros['set_timer_text'] =
- {
- handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
- {
- SetTimerText(val);
- }
- }
- macros['set_timer_mode'] =
- {
- handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
- {
- SetTimerMode(val);
- }
- }
- macros['set_timer_param'] =
- {
- handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
- {
- SetTimerParam(val);
- }
- }
- }
- >>
- <<print $TimerAddon()>>
- <<endsilently>>
- ######## StoryAuthor
- [[Porpentine Educational Computing Consortium|http://aliendovecote.com]]
- ######## css
- html{background-color:#1E2D37;!important}
- #floater {visibility:hidden;background-color:; !important}
- h2{color:black; font-size:48px; !important}
- h1{font-family: 'Open Sans'!important; ;color:orange;font-weight:bold;text-shadow: 6px 4px #1E2D37;}
- .toolbar a{visibility:hidden;}
- .body{font-size:22px; color:white;!important;=font-family:'Open Sans';}
- a.internalLink,a.externalLink,a.back,a.return{color:#E6B677;font-weight:bold;text-decoration:none;text-align:left;font-size:120%}
- a.internalLink:hover,a.externalLink:hover,a.back:hover,a.return:hover{color:orange;text-decoration:none;text-align:left;}
- #footer{visibility:hidden;}
- .title {visibility:hidden; !important;}
- #storyAuthor {visibility:hidden; margin:0em; !important}
- #storyTitle {visibility:hidden;color:#8F979C; margin-bottom:0em; !important;}
- h3 {margin-bottom:0em; !important}
- @media screen and (max-width: 960px) {
- body { font-size: 50%; }
- }
- @media screen and (max-width: 840px) {
- body { font-size: 40%; }
- }
- @media screen and (max-width: 720px) {
- body {
- font-size: 30%;
- }
- }
- .passage {background-color:#517894;-moz-border-radius: 25px;
- border-radius: 25px;border-width:6px;border-color:white;font-family:'Open Sans'!important;padding:30px; !important;line-height:175%; padding-top:10px;
- margin-top:0px;
- }
- body {color:white;background-color:#1E2D37;font-size:80%;padding-bottom:50px;padding-top:0px!important;font-family:'Open Sans';}
- em {color:#04243A;}
- #content2 {background-color:#1E2D37 !important;}
- #passages {
- border-left: 0;
- margin: 0;
- padding: 0;
- line-height:100vh;
- }
- img { display: block;
- margin-left: auto;
- margin-right: auto }
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