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Navy Seals

By: a guest on Mar 31st, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 11.25 KB  |  views: 31  |  expires: Never
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  1. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
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  3. What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now.
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  5. What the fudge did you just cake about me, you little Twix?I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Chocolate Factory, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret bakes on Drury Lane, and I've made over 300 confirmed muffins. I am trained in taffy making and I’m the top taste-tester in the entire Mars Corporation. You are nothing to me but just another consumer. I will fatten you the fuck up with calories the likes of which have never been seen before on this Earth, mark my candy-coated words. You think you can get away with tasting that shit over the Internet? Think again, fatso. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of chefs across the USA and your body-mass index is being measured right now so you better prepare for the sugar-storm, chubster. The sugar-storm that screws up the pathetic little thing you call your blood-pressure. You’re cooked, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can feed you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unyeasted bread recipes, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Mars Corporation and I will use it to its full extent to fatten your miserable ass out of the clothes that fit you, you little porker. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "healthy" diet was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have bought those delicious Twinkies. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn meatcake. I will shit magical candy all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking fat, kiddo.
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  7. Wie zur Hölle hast du mich gerade genannt, du kleine Hure? Ich möchte dir mitteilen dass ich als Bester meiner Klasse in der SS abgeschlossen habe, und ich war in unzählige Geheimoperationen im Zweiten Weltkrieg involviert, mit über 300 bestätigten Tötungen. Ich bin ausgebildet in Guerilla Kriegsführung und der beste Scharfschütze des ganzen deutschen Reiches. Du bist für mich nichts als ein weiteres Ziel. Ich werde dich auslöschen, mit einer Prezision die du noch nie zuvor gesehen hast, merk dir meine Worte. Du denkst du kommst damit weg nachdem du im Internet diesen Scheiß zu mir gesagt hast? Überdenk das, Wichser. Während ich diese Meldung überbringe, kontaktiere ich mein Spionagenetz in der ganzen Welt und deine IP wird zurückverfolgt, also bereite dich auf den Sturm vor, Made. Den Sturm der das jämmerliche kleine Ding das du dein Leben nennst auslöscht. Du bist verdammt noch mal tod, Junge. Ich kann jederzeit, überall sein, und ich kann dich auf über 700 Arten töten, und das nur mit meinen Händen. Ich bin nicht nur exzessiv in unbewaffnetem Kampf ausgebildet, ich habe Zugriff auf das gesamte Arsenal des Deutschen Reiches und werde es bis aufs Letzte benutzen um deinen jämmerlichen Arsch von dieser Erde zu wischen, du kleiner Scheiß. Wenn du nur gewusst hättest was für unheilige Folgen dein "kluger" Kommentar über dich bringen wird, hättest du womöglich deine Fresse gehalten. Aber du konntest nicht, du hast nicht, und nun wirst du den Preis bezahlen, du gottverdammter Idiot. Ich werde Wut an dir auslassen, und du wirst daran vergehen. Du bist verdammt nochmal tod, Jungchen.
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  9. What the freak did you just freaking say about me, you little meanie face? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Boy Scouts, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Girl Scouts, and I have over 300 confirmed cookie sales. I am trained in tying knots and I’m the top cookie salesman in the entire US Boy Scouts. You are nothing to me but just another sale. I will wipe you the freak out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my freaking words. You think you can get away with saying that stuff to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie face. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of scouts across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the cookies, butthead. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your face. You’re freaking done, old man. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can sell cookies to you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the US Boy Scouts and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable butt off the face of the continent, you little meanie face. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your freaking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you big fat stinky head. I will poop fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re freaking done, old man.
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  11. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bully? I'll have you know I lasted 16 years in Canada, and I've been involved in numerous raids on my own body, and I have over 300 ML of bleach drank. I am trained in self harm and I'm the top Clorox chugger in BC, Canada. You are nothing to me but just another Bully. I will wipe myself the fuck out with chugging the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am knotting my 2 meters long of rope across my neck and your feels are being hurt right now so you better prepare for the suicide, bully. The suicide that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking done, kid. I can die anywhere, anytime, and I can kill myself in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my Clorox and rope, You fucked up bully, I will shit sadness on you and you will drown in it, I'm fucking dead kiddo.
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  13. What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, nikka. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re fucking dead, nikka. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re fucking dead, nikka.
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  15. What outcry have you uttered about my person, you oafish brute? I shall cordially remind you that I was the best scholar in my law class in Oxford, and I have been involved in several frivolous tea parties and courtroom disputes, and I have over 300 boxes of Earl Gray. I am proficient in the Simian school of diplomacy and I am the top linguist in my book club. Know that you resemble nothing in my eyes save for yet another uncultured mind. I will hasten your undisputed expiritation of the world with grace and finesse. The thought that you can retreat after jesting of such matters over the internet is laughable. As of this moment, I am telephoning a mutual friend to negotiate a swift and sure rebuttal to your argument so I would implore you to prepare yourself for the upcoming verbal deluge. The deluge that will no doubt saturate your life with discomfort. You are well and truly wrong, my good sir. My abilities of travel are unmatched, and I can recite over 700 lines from Shakespeare, and that is just from Hamlet. The amount of knowledge that I have acrued is vast, and I shall use it to firmly state my authority on such matters, you rapscallion. Truly, I wished you had some semblance of knowledge on the matter you have brought up and it's repercussions. Alas, you did not, and now you will suffer a fate most dire, you plebian. I shall defecate concentrated dislike upon you and you shall struggle to survive in it's waters. Pistols at dawn, old boy.