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Father, when Austin asks me to do what's on my heart, I get excited.  You have definitely placed it on my heart to be a servant lately.  So many ideas are swarming and my heart has lit up again and i want to serve.  I want to serve Austin, I want to serve the needy, and by all this, more importantly I want to serve You God.  You have shown me that you love me this last week and I was in awe. I loved it.  Nothing else can ever feel that satisfying and that real. I want more God!  I want to see and hear and feel and even speak your love everyday.  Let that be my job.  My service. God you have promised good to me, and I am so thankful and unworthy for the good that you have already provided me. And the amazing part to me is that this is only the beginning.  I know you have more for me and more for my life and I love that!  I love Austin, I really care so much about him and I feel like a let down to you and to myself and to Austin.  It hurts.  I hurt myself the worst.  I want so badly to be what Austin needs in a woman. I want to serve him and encourage him and be his best friend.  I dream of jokes and laughter and absolute enjoyment of