The Wizard List

Gideon stared at the notice plastered to front of the run-down tavern. He smiled to himself, even as he tapped his heavy oak staff against the cobblestone in his irked way. Two months away from the city since his last visit, and this was what they’d resorted to? He must’ve really put the fear in them with his last little spree.
Cheerily mumbling the contents under his breath, pausing for the occasional chuckle, Gideon the Green read through the parchment in its entirety.

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By joint decree of the City Authority and the Wizard Guild,

All wizards (or humans with non-negligible magical ability) are forbidden by law from performing the following acts within the walls of the city. Lawbreakers will be subject to punishment both from the City Authority and the Wizard Guild. Punishable acts are as follows:


Casting reverse-gravity spells on harpies that become effective in flight.
Misaligning a displacer’s offset.
Curdling holstaurus milk before it’s been milked.
Transfiguration of fungus growth within public parks to resemble matangos.
Replacing zombie limbs with corresponding limbs from mannequins.
Replacing zombie limbs with mismatched limbs from mannequins.
The teleportation of catnip upon any members of the citizenry’s person.
 -Especially during jinko estrus periods.
Inducing bowel movements within wild harpies (either perched, in flight or on ground) when bystanders are nearby.
Solving sphinx riddles by manifesting physical items or beings that literally fulfil the requirements stated within said riddles.
 -The transfiguration of humans to alter the number of legs they possess according the time of day is punishable by removal of magic via succubus.
Enchanting brooms to sweep and clean autonomously and independently, then advertising them anywhere within the city as “kikkimoras that don’t talk back”.
Teleporting any quantity of pharaohs and apophis’ to the same area under the premise of creating a “monstergirl fight club”.
Informing wizard apprentices that werewolves under the influence of the full moon can be tamed with a rolled-up newspaper.
Teleportation of tentacle monsters to anywhere within fifty metres of an all-girls’ school.
 -Not even under the pretense of obeying the “laws of nature”.
Enchanting string to ensnare living dolls and using them to enact puppet shows in the streets.
Magically guiding paper planes with written commands on them into the mouths of golem girls.
 -Unassisted throwing of paper planes with written commands on them into the mouths of golem girls. [spoiler]How are you even meant to throw a paper plane that well?[/spoiler]
Bribing Amaterasu with the end result of loaning her Celestial Brush to draw inappropriate imagery on the sky above the city.
Transmutation of any objects with a dragongirl’s hoard.
Transfiguration of lava girls to create large-scale “the floor is lava” games.
Replacing anubis Lego pieces with Mega Bloks (punishable by death).
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