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Empyreal The Size Queen

By: flabrus on Sep 17th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 7.59 KB  |  views: 123  |  expires: Never
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  1. (02:40:08) ElementOfHonesty: alright now I need to fap and sleep, in that order
  2. (02:40:23) ElementOfHonesty is now known as Flabrus
  3. (02:40:28) akwardbrony: have fun
  4. (02:40:29) KC_: well okay then
  5. (02:40:34) Arborus_: y not do in reverse
  6. (02:40:44) Flabrus: night peeps
  7. (02:40:44) KC_: morning boners are best boners
  8. (02:40:51) akwardbrony: somonoism is not a joke
  9. (02:41:12) Flabrus: morning wood is a pain
  10. (02:41:50) Flabrus: >_>
  11. (02:41:56) empyreal26: morning wood should only be a pain if there's no one there to help you
  12. (02:42:01) empyreal26: :D
  13. (02:42:12) Flabrus: well, there ain't time in the morning :-p
  14. (02:42:20) empyreal26: GET UP EARLIER
  15. (02:42:24) akwardbrony: thats the word
  16. (02:42:39) Flabrus: also, one does not take sex casually when one's partner is on SSRI's
  17. (02:42:48) Flabrus: preparation is necessary
  18. (02:43:59) Flabrus: SSRI + a... size incompatibility.
  19. (02:44:39) empyreal26: I don't get the connection... SSRI as in antidepressant right?
  20. (02:46:47) Flabrus: empyreal26: yes.  SSRI's decrease women's... lubrication.
  21. (02:46:50) Flabrus: and I am... large.
  22. (02:47:28) empyreal26: OH MY GOD THIS IS EXPLAINS SO MANY THINGS
  23. (02:47:37) Flabrus: Yeah.
  24. (02:47:48) empyreal26: I'm on SSRIs too, I never made that connection
  25. (02:47:51) empyreal26: THANK YOU
  26. (02:47:52) Flabrus: So antidepressants plus a beer can makes sex difficult.
  27. (02:47:57) Flabrus: lol, you'e welcome
  28. (02:48:01) empyreal26: WOW we just got into TMI territory
  29. (02:48:15) Flabrus: well shit woman I already gave you my address
  30. (02:48:21) empyreal26: xD
  31. (02:48:51) FaceMane [~flabrus@unaffiliated/flabrus] entered the room.
  32. (02:48:51) mode (+o FaceMane) by ChanServ
  33. (02:49:11) Flabrus: empyreal26: glad I could enlighten a little
  34. (02:49:16) Flabrus: and now, I go
  35. (02:49:27) empyreal26: BYEEEE <3
  36. (02:49:28) Flabrus: (and I'll probably lay awake looking at IRC on my phone)
  37. (02:49:34) Flabrus: hence, FaceMane
  38. (02:49:49) Lavender: oh! empyreal26, you're just learning about Flabrus's... endowments, eh?
  39. (02:49:50) Lavender: XD
  40. (02:49:58) Flabrus: sigh'
  41. (02:50:03) Lavender: we <3 you
  42. (02:50:06) Flabrus: apparently I'm world fucking famous
  43. (02:50:16) empyreal26: Yeah I've never heard of this before lol
  44. (02:50:31) Flabrus: okay so everyone seems to think a 7" circumference is fucking hue
  45. (02:50:33) Flabrus: *huge
  46. (02:50:42) empyreal26: .... *JAWDROP*
  47. (02:50:47) Flabrus: >_>
  48. (02:51:03) Flabrus: I thought it was normal!
  49. (02:51:15) Flabrus: Needless to say my first sexual experiences were awkward
  50. (02:51:48) miggyb: you might as well just make it the room topic now
  51. (02:51:59) miggyb: your dick, i mean
  52. (02:52:13) empyreal26: eeyup
  53. (02:52:15) akwardbrony: at this point you might as well
  54. (02:56:22) FaceMane: Wtf
  55. (02:57:01) FaceMane: I already feel like a trek shoe, thanks lifts
  56. (02:57:13) FaceMane: *freak show
  57. (02:57:25) miggyb: hahaha. nice autocorrect
  58. (02:57:28) FaceMane: Miggs
  59. (02:57:35) FaceMane: Piss
  60. (02:57:55) miggyb is now known as futashy
  61. (02:57:57) futashy: it's not a bad problem to have if you ask me!
  62. (02:58:03) futashy is now known as miggyb
  63. (02:58:20) FaceMane: Dude, you don't know.
  64. (02:58:55) FaceMane: First woman I was with was 30 and a mother of 3, I thought she was just trying to stroke my ego
  65. (02:59:18) miggyb: the coworker?
  66. (02:59:28) FaceMane: I don't mean to hurt lol
  67. (02:59:32) empyreal26: I'm kinda sad you're married right now.
  68. (02:59:34) FaceMane: Aye
  69. (02:59:41) miggyb: i'm trying to map out your sex life history
  70. (02:59:47) miggyb: no homo
  71. (02:59:50) FaceMane: O_o
  72. (03:00:13) FaceMane: I've had two partners. Her and the wife
  73. (03:00:15) miggyb: you were telling us about the black chick who was in a sex-only relationship with you
  74. (03:00:24) miggyb: ah, there it is, then
  75. (03:00:25) FaceMane: That was the 1st
  76. (03:00:59) FaceMane: I swear I thought she was kidding. The my wife was like, "uh..."
  77. (03:01:25) FaceMane: Then I researched Penis on the internet
  78. (03:01:44) akwardbrony: now that's a phrase you don't see ofthen
  79. (03:02:06) akwardbrony: @FaceMane> Then I researched Penis on the internet
  80. (03:02:08) FaceMane: But yeah, how else would I know?
  81. (03:02:22) akwardbrony: am i the only one that finds that phrase hilarious
  82. (03:02:32) FaceMane: I measured my junk like any teenager would
  83. (03:02:44) FaceMane: No, it was meant to be funny
  84. (03:02:56) FaceMane: I had no idea of scale
  85. (03:03:27) FaceMane: So yeah, any time we have sex, its a whole big process
  86. (03:03:46) FaceMane: Pun unintended
  87. (03:04:37) miggyb: i never said it wasn't a problem, just wasn't a bad problem to have, per se
  88. (03:05:09) miggyb: in theory size shouldn't matter and your significant other should love you just the way you are
  89. (03:05:24) FaceMane: I guess. I can always use lube and lots of foreplay
  90. (03:05:26) miggyb: but in practice i think a little big over average is preferred to a little bit under average? maybe?
  91. (03:05:36) empyreal26: it's certainly a better problem than the other end of the spectrum
  92. (03:05:51) miggyb: well there you go. an authoritative source
  93. (03:06:09) FaceMane:  Sure, I'm just saying its not all sunshine and magnums
  94. (03:06:16) akwardbrony: haha
  95. (03:06:21) empyreal26: yeah i'd much rather have lots of lube and foreplay to go a bit bigger, than be underwhelmed all the time
  96. (03:06:34) akwardbrony: man tonight went interesting ways :P
  97. (03:06:36) empyreal26: wow that makes me sound like an asshole
  98. (03:06:53) empyreal26: NOT THAT I DONT APPRECIATE MEN WHO MIGHT BE UNDERAVERAGE SIZE
  99. (03:07:00) miggyb: nah. it's all personal preference
  100. (03:07:02) empyreal26: motion of the ocean and all that
  101. (03:07:11) FaceMane: There's no way for me to have this conversation without sounding like an ass
  102. (03:07:31) FaceMane: But draw a 7" circle
  103. (03:07:46) FaceMane: It's... Yeah.
  104. (03:07:47) miggyb: FaceMane is exactly what would happen if fluttershy woke up with a bigger-than-average horsecock
  105. (03:08:00) empyreal26: *spitfire face* Halp. o_o
  106. (03:08:00) akwardbrony: we get it and stop with the futashy
  107. (03:08:07) miggyb: haha
  108. (03:08:20) empyreal26: then again I am kinda a sizequeen so
  109. (03:08:26) FaceMane: See? There is no quickie with that thing
  110. (03:08:29) empyreal26: OKAY IM DRUNK TIME TO STOP TALKING
  111. (03:08:39) FaceMane: Sizequeen?
  112. (03:09:01) akwardbrony: .o ud sizequeen
  113. (03:09:02) amide: Gay porn star with a tiny dick.
  114. (03:09:17) FaceMane: ...
  115. (03:09:17) akwardbrony: somehow it doubt that's what was meant >.>
  116. (03:09:37) akwardbrony: but if amide says it...
  117. (03:10:16) empyreal26: .... xD sizequeen = likes larger than average (or MUCH larger than average) things in the orafice
  118. (03:10:16) FaceMane: We are all drunk adults here, let's cut the crap
  119. (03:10:34) FaceMane: Ooh, I see. Should have been obvious
  120. (03:10:49) akwardbrony: i kinda guessed
  121. (03:10:53) akwardbrony: amide just made it amusing
  122. (03:11:00) FaceMane: LOL
  123. (03:11:10) akwardbrony: and sadly i'm not drunk at present
  124. (03:11:14) akwardbrony: just bored
  125. (03:11:34) FaceMane: Man, I remember trying anal the first time. Big mistake
  126. (03:11:48) empyreal26: :O
  127. (03:11:57) miggyb: i'm just sleep deprived. slept from 10 or so to get a good night's sleep. was up by 1:30
  128. (03:12:04) ***akwardbrony snorks
  129. (03:12:26) FaceMane: She didn't talk to me for 2 days.
  130. (03:12:34) empyreal26: ouch
  131. (03:12:39) FaceMane: Thought I did it on purpose
  132. (03:12:58) FaceMane: Like I said, I thought nothing of it until I saw statistics
  133. (03:13:22) FaceMane: Then it was like, "oh."
  134. (03:14:19) FaceMane: And bjs, forget it. More like a hand job with spit.
  135. (03:14:40) FaceMane: So yeah that's my tragic tale
  136. (03:15:09) empyreal26: Poor baby
  137. (03:15:46) AFinn: wat
  138. (03:16:07) FaceMane: Poor wifey. She tries so hard. We just stick to gentle stuff and hands