Empyreal The Size Queen

(02:40:08) ElementOfHonesty: alright now I need to fap and sleep, in that order
(02:40:23) ElementOfHonesty is now known as Flabrus
(02:40:28) akwardbrony: have fun
(02:40:29) KC_: well okay then
(02:40:34) Arborus_: y not do in reverse
(02:40:44) Flabrus: night peeps
(02:40:44) KC_: morning boners are best boners
(02:40:51) akwardbrony: somonoism is not a joke
(02:41:12) Flabrus: morning wood is a pain
(02:41:50) Flabrus: >_>
(02:41:56) empyreal26: morning wood should only be a pain if there's no one there to help you
(02:42:01) empyreal26: :D
(02:42:12) Flabrus: well, there ain't time in the morning :-p
(02:42:20) empyreal26: GET UP EARLIER
(02:42:24) akwardbrony: thats the word
(02:42:39) Flabrus: also, one does not take sex casually when one's partner is on SSRI's
(02:42:48) Flabrus: preparation is necessary
(02:43:59) Flabrus: SSRI + a... size incompatibility.
(02:44:39) empyreal26: I don't get the connection... SSRI as in antidepressant right?
(02:46:47) Flabrus: empyreal26: yes.  SSRI's decrease women's... lubrication.
(02:46:50) Flabrus: and I am... large.
(02:47:28) empyreal26: OH MY GOD THIS IS EXPLAINS SO MANY THINGS
(02:47:37) Flabrus: Yeah.
(02:47:48) empyreal26: I'm on SSRIs too, I never made that connection
(02:47:51) empyreal26: THANK YOU
(02:47:52) Flabrus: So antidepressants plus a beer can makes sex difficult.
(02:47:57) Flabrus: lol, you'e welcome
(02:48:01) empyreal26: WOW we just got into TMI territory
(02:48:15) Flabrus: well shit woman I already gave you my address
(02:48:21) empyreal26: xD
(02:48:51) FaceMane [~flabrus@unaffiliated/flabrus] entered the room.
(02:48:51) mode (+o FaceMane) by ChanServ
(02:49:11) Flabrus: empyreal26: glad I could enlighten a little
(02:49:16) Flabrus: and now, I go
(02:49:27) empyreal26: BYEEEE <3
(02:49:28) Flabrus: (and I'll probably lay awake looking at IRC on my phone)
(02:49:34) Flabrus: hence, FaceMane
(02:49:49) Lavender: oh! empyreal26, you're just learning about Flabrus's... endowments, eh?
(02:49:50) Lavender: XD
(02:49:58) Flabrus: sigh'
(02:50:03) Lavender: we <3 you
(02:50:06) Flabrus: apparently I'm world fucking famous
(02:50:16) empyreal26: Yeah I've never heard of this before lol
(02:50:31) Flabrus: okay so everyone seems to think a 7" circumference is fucking hue
(02:50:33) Flabrus: *huge
(02:50:42) empyreal26: .... *JAWDROP*
(02:50:47) Flabrus: >_>
(02:51:03) Flabrus: I thought it was normal!
(02:51:15) Flabrus: Needless to say my first sexual experiences were awkward
(02:51:48) miggyb: you might as well just make it the room topic now
(02:51:59) miggyb: your dick, i mean
(02:52:13) empyreal26: eeyup
(02:52:15) akwardbrony: at this point you might as well
(02:56:22) FaceMane: Wtf
(02:57:01) FaceMane: I already feel like a trek shoe, thanks lifts
(02:57:13) FaceMane: *freak show
(02:57:25) miggyb: hahaha. nice autocorrect
(02:57:28) FaceMane: Miggs
(02:57:35) FaceMane: Piss
(02:57:55) miggyb is now known as futashy
(02:57:57) futashy: it's not a bad problem to have if you ask me!
(02:58:03) futashy is now known as miggyb
(02:58:20) FaceMane: Dude, you don't know.
(02:58:55) FaceMane: First woman I was with was 30 and a mother of 3, I thought she was just trying to stroke my ego
(02:59:18) miggyb: the coworker?
(02:59:28) FaceMane: I don't mean to hurt lol
(02:59:32) empyreal26: I'm kinda sad you're married right now.
(02:59:34) FaceMane: Aye
(02:59:41) miggyb: i'm trying to map out your sex life history
(02:59:47) miggyb: no homo
(02:59:50) FaceMane: O_o
(03:00:13) FaceMane: I've had two partners. Her and the wife
(03:00:15) miggyb: you were telling us about the black chick who was in a sex-only relationship with you
(03:00:24) miggyb: ah, there it is, then
(03:00:25) FaceMane: That was the 1st
(03:00:59) FaceMane: I swear I thought she was kidding. The my wife was like, "uh..."
(03:01:25) FaceMane: Then I researched Penis on the internet
(03:01:44) akwardbrony: now that's a phrase you don't see ofthen
(03:02:06) akwardbrony: @FaceMane> Then I researched Penis on the internet
(03:02:08) FaceMane: But yeah, how else would I know?
(03:02:22) akwardbrony: am i the only one that finds that phrase hilarious
(03:02:32) FaceMane: I measured my junk like any teenager would
(03:02:44) FaceMane: No, it was meant to be funny
(03:02:56) FaceMane: I had no idea of scale
(03:03:27) FaceMane: So yeah, any time we have sex, its a whole big process
(03:03:46) FaceMane: Pun unintended
(03:04:37) miggyb: i never said it wasn't a problem, just wasn't a bad problem to have, per se
(03:05:09) miggyb: in theory size shouldn't matter and your significant other should love you just the way you are
(03:05:24) FaceMane: I guess. I can always use lube and lots of foreplay
(03:05:26) miggyb: but in practice i think a little big over average is preferred to a little bit under average? maybe?
(03:05:36) empyreal26: it's certainly a better problem than the other end of the spectrum
(03:05:51) miggyb: well there you go. an authoritative source
(03:06:09) FaceMane:  Sure, I'm just saying its not all sunshine and magnums
(03:06:16) akwardbrony: haha
(03:06:21) empyreal26: yeah i'd much rather have lots of lube and foreplay to go a bit bigger, than be underwhelmed all the time
(03:06:34) akwardbrony: man tonight went interesting ways :P
(03:06:36) empyreal26: wow that makes me sound like an asshole
(03:06:53) empyreal26: NOT THAT I DONT APPRECIATE MEN WHO MIGHT BE UNDERAVERAGE SIZE
(03:07:00) miggyb: nah. it's all personal preference
(03:07:02) empyreal26: motion of the ocean and all that
(03:07:11) FaceMane: There's no way for me to have this conversation without sounding like an ass
(03:07:31) FaceMane: But draw a 7" circle
(03:07:46) FaceMane: It's... Yeah.
(03:07:47) miggyb: FaceMane is exactly what would happen if fluttershy woke up with a bigger-than-average horsecock
(03:08:00) empyreal26: *spitfire face* Halp. o_o
(03:08:00) akwardbrony: we get it and stop with the futashy
(03:08:07) miggyb: haha
(03:08:20) empyreal26: then again I am kinda a sizequeen so
(03:08:26) FaceMane: See? There is no quickie with that thing
(03:08:29) empyreal26: OKAY IM DRUNK TIME TO STOP TALKING
(03:08:39) FaceMane: Sizequeen?
(03:09:01) akwardbrony: .o ud sizequeen
(03:09:02) amide: Gay porn star with a tiny dick.
(03:09:17) FaceMane: ...
(03:09:17) akwardbrony: somehow it doubt that's what was meant >.>
(03:09:37) akwardbrony: but if amide says it...
(03:10:16) empyreal26: .... xD sizequeen = likes larger than average (or MUCH larger than average) things in the orafice
(03:10:16) FaceMane: We are all drunk adults here, let's cut the crap
(03:10:34) FaceMane: Ooh, I see. Should have been obvious
(03:10:49) akwardbrony: i kinda guessed
(03:10:53) akwardbrony: amide just made it amusing
(03:11:00) FaceMane: LOL
(03:11:10) akwardbrony: and sadly i'm not drunk at present
(03:11:14) akwardbrony: just bored
(03:11:34) FaceMane: Man, I remember trying anal the first time. Big mistake
(03:11:48) empyreal26: :O
(03:11:57) miggyb: i'm just sleep deprived. slept from 10 or so to get a good night's sleep. was up by 1:30
(03:12:04) ***akwardbrony snorks
(03:12:26) FaceMane: She didn't talk to me for 2 days.
(03:12:34) empyreal26: ouch
(03:12:39) FaceMane: Thought I did it on purpose
(03:12:58) FaceMane: Like I said, I thought nothing of it until I saw statistics
(03:13:22) FaceMane: Then it was like, "oh."
(03:14:19) FaceMane: And bjs, forget it. More like a hand job with spit.
(03:14:40) FaceMane: So yeah that's my tragic tale
(03:15:09) empyreal26: Poor baby
(03:15:46) AFinn: wat
(03:16:07) FaceMane: Poor wifey. She tries so hard. We just stick to gentle stuff and hands