jaun deag

alias JuanDeag1 "say All right, well, it's been a while since I've told the story of Jaun Deag, so pull up a chair.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag2"

alias JuanDeag2 "say First of all, his name was actually JuanDiego Montoya, he played for DIAF (Die in a Fire) and FOH; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag3"

alias JuanDeag3 "say He just showed up on the scene at a South California LAN that I worked at one day. I remember the first time this kid walked into the place.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag4"

alias JuanDeag4 "say I say walked but I swear it kind of looked like he was floating on air. He was wearing this weirdass grey gui and sandals.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag5"

alias JuanDeag5 "say His eyes looked like they were burning red but you could tell it was from no sleep and too much CRT. He didn't really talk much.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag6"

alias JuanDeag6 "say He walks over to the counter, buys 1 all-day pass, 4 bowls of kimchi, 4 cans of ice tea, looks at me and says Valar Morghulis.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag7"

alias JuanDeag7 "say Well this was weird as fuck. A week earlier, the local sponsor for the big $5,000 LAN we were hosting had pulled me aside.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag8"

alias JuanDeag8 "say He told me that a fucked up kid might show up and ask to register a 1-man team for the tournament.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag9"

alias JuanDeag9 "say He told me that the kid would say the phrase "Valar Morghulis" and that I should register his 1-man team, despite our rules.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag10"

alias JuanDeag10 "say The first game JD played was on de_inferno. He literally sat in spawn the entire T half and allowed the CTs to 14-0.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag11"

alias JuanDeag11 "say On the 15th round, he bought a desert eagle, a grenade, no armor. He then naded himself down to half hp.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag12"

alias JuanDeag12 "say Then He typed "Hello. My name is JuanDiego Montoya. You killed my brother. Prepare to die."; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag13"

alias JuanDeag13 "say Next thing I know, this kid bunnyhops up T-ramp, up the ladder, and quick deags two mid awpers.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag14"

alias JuanDeag14 "say He bunnyhops down to Mexico and gets two Banana pushers with one taps, now JD only has 2 shots left.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag15"

alias JuanDeag15 "say JD shoots one off in the sky and starts yelling "VALHALLAA" and runs up mid to the last guy who is now rotating through boiler.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag16"

alias JuanDeag16 "say The last dude was one of the only known players to ever master the complete recoil pattern of the para, his name was Johnny R.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag17"

alias JuanDeag17 "say JD pushed out of mid exactly as Johnny R pushed out of boiler, Johnny R switches to para and lets out the sickest para spray.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag18"

alias JuanDeag18 "say And then, the incident. Few counter strike players know this, but back in 1.6, you could actually anti-recoil an opponent.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag19"

alias JuanDeag19 "say If you could do a perfect opposite movement of the recoil pattern your opponent was inputting, he would miss his shots.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag20"

alias JuanDeag20 "say Johnny R is emptying the entire para clip at JD and hitting 100% recoil compensation, JD is hitting 100% anti-recoil.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag21"

alias JuanDeag21 "say It was some crazy shit to watch. Then you hear Johnny R's "click click click" and JD switches from knife to the desert eagle.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag22"

alias JuanDeag22 "say With the last bullet, JD one taps Johnny R. The entire LAN is quiet for 7 full seconds.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag23"

alias JuanDeag23 "say Before any of us have a chance to say anything, we realize that the round hasn't ended.. behind JD, something spawned in Mexico; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag24"

alias JuanDeag24 "say All I could see was a bright light on my screen... I looked over to JD's screen and his was the only one that showed the demon.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag25"

alias JuanDeag25 "say JD needs to reload, the demon is rushing at him, he doesn't bunny hop away or go down with his knife.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag26"

alias JuanDeag26 "say Instead he types out "JAB JAB FORWARD JAB FIERCE" into the console. Everyone's screens go black, flicker 5 times, and light up again.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag27"

alias JuanDeag27 "say The map was de_dust, in T spawn beside a dead terrorist body, there was a chest. I looted it quick and held onto it for years.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag28"

alias JuanDeag28 "say Then, one day, I thought about trying a CS GO operation key on the chest. And that's how I got my Deagle Diego Hellfire.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag29"

alias JuanDeag29 "say tagged Unique, No Drop, No Loot, No Trade, No Rent, No Screenshot.; alias JuanDeag JuanDeag1"

alias "JuanDeag" "JuanDeag1"

bind "[" "JuanDeag"