Christina

Age 9

 

Christi (daughter)

 

I had been having bed wetting problems since I was 5, but on this morning, I awoke dry. The plastic pants covering my cloth diaper crinkled as I turned to look at the clock by my bedside. It was still too early to get up. As I rose out of my groggy state, I realized why I had woken up: I really needed to pee. I turned back into my sleeping position just let it come out. I had been able to wake up like this in the past, but it was always inconsistent and I saw no reason to bring attention to it. I began to feel drowsy again as the warmth spread through the diaper. Still, it was nice when I was able to do it by my own choice, because it's always so cold when I wake up after doing it in my sleep during the middle of the night.

 

-

 

Like every other morning, mother came to wake me up, and took me into the bathroom to quickly clean me off before getting me dressed. I sat at the kitchen table and began eating a bowl of cereal. I finished and began getting up, but mother came over to me and said something I did not anticipate.

 

"Do you like wearing diapers?"

 

I wanted to say "no", but I was forced, in that moment, to realize that it wouldn't have been the truth. I was unable to speak. Seeing my struggle, mother spoke again.

 

"Ah, don't worry about." She said with a tone as though I had given her a clear answer. She gave me a reassuring smile and patted my head. I wasn't sure how much that actually helped me.

 

"It's time to go to school, so run off now." With that, I left, the wave of shock from that brief, one-sided conversation slowly leaving me and pushing the memory to the back of my mind.

 

-

 

When I had returned home from school, everything seemed back to normal. It was a Friday night, so I came home excited like I was every Friday night. It wasn't like I really hated school or anything, but it seemed like my bed wetting problem began around the time I had started attending. My problem doesn't happen less frequency on weekends though, so I told myself it was just a coincidence.

 

My typical weekend night was comprised of procrastinating on homework and watching TV or movies until late at night while drinking coke. "Late" for me still never reached midnight, even with caffeine fueling my movements. Usually mother would sense when I would soon run out of energy and call me to take a bath before getting ready for bed.

 

This night, however, began closing with slight deviation. Mother called me for my bath unusually early. Sometimes I would start dosing off much sooner than average and struggle to get cleaned up, but mother couldn't predict those situations so I didn't understand why she was calling now. Not minding this slight abnormality, I just did as I was told.

 

After I left the bathroom and entered my room, the real anomalous nature of this deviation came to light. First, my mother was standing there. Secondly, instead of a cloth diaper and plastic pants laid out on my bed, there was night time disposable diaper spread out on the floor, with bottles of baby powder and baby lotion sitting next to it.

 

"You never cause me any trouble, so I decided to buy something nice for you." She came over to me and grabbed my hand to guide my speechless self. "If you go to sleep now, there will be more time in the morning for you to enjoy your present." Unwrapping the towel around me, she lead me down onto the diaper, then bunched the towel up and used it to raise my head off the floor slightly.

 

First, she began rubbing the lotion on me. Its scent combined with the sensation of it spreading over my skin, evoked a feeling I couldn't quite grasp but I knew that I had been wanting. She tapped my back, signaling for me to raise up so that she could apply the lotion underneath. Next was the powder. It was lightly sprinkled on me and spread out in a similar pattern to the lotion, but then mother had me lift my legs all the way up so it could be applied to the back. It was a position I really did not like for how compromising it was, but I bared with it. Finally, she brought the front of the diaper up to tape it and she spoke.

 

"I really don't want you to be /dependent/ on diapers though, so try hard for me, okay?" My diaper was secured and she grabbed my hands to help me up. The way this diaper squeezed against me, along with all that extra care mother put into it, filled me with a deep satisfaction.

 

"O-okay." Somehow I managed the will to stutter that out. She smiled happily at this response and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek. Her hand, laying on my shoulder, then raised and began pinching my other cheek.

 

"Ow, ow ow!"

 

"Sorry, I just thought you needed to lighten up a bit." Her hand stopped and lightly rubbed the area it had been hurting.

 

"Well, goodnight sweetie."

 

"Goodnight mommy."

 

-

 

I woke up on Saturday the same way I woke up on Friday: needing to pee. I had never had two days in a row where I managed to wake myself up before wetting. I didn't ponder it long as I wanted to remedy the uncomfortable pressure in my bladder. I let go and the warmth spread through my diaper, but I barely felt any wetness against my skin this time. I did not miss that half of the sensation. After being completely relieved, I reached down and touched the front of my diaper. I could easily feel the warmth there too. I returned to my sleeping posture and drifted back off for just a little longer.

 

-

 

The rays from the rising sun woke me up this time. I groggily got out of bed, threw on a T shirt that was too big for me, and walked into the living room to watch cartoons on the TV. Mother got up shortly after me and sat down in the living room. She silently watched me sitting on the floor in front of the TV, until there was a commercial.

 

"Christi, can you stand up for a moment?"

 

"Huh?" Confused, but getting up and turning towards her as she asked.

 

"Can you turn around slowly now?" I still didn't understand, but did so anyway.

 

"It's just as I suspected." Mother stood up and walked over to me. For a moment, I felt like I may have done something wrong, but she was approaching me with a smile.

 

"You're..." She knelt to my level. "...absolutely adorable!" With that, mother began tickling me and I fell to the floor.

 

"Ahahaha, ah, s-stop!" She did not immediately respond to my pleas, but she showed mercy and winded down sooner than she usually does. For a few moments, she gazed down at my panting body. She lifted her hand again and I flinched, but saw that it wasn't good for my sides. Her finger tips ran across the front of my diaper.

 

"You really do look cute like this, but was this an accident, or was it just for fun?" Her fingers highlighting the wet spot on my diaper.

 

"Uu, um..."

 

"sweetie, I bought them for you to enjoy, so did you, or no?"

 

"I-I did." Mother's expression softened upon hearing this.

 

"Well, it's not that wet. It'll last a little longer. I'll change you out of it when I get back from shopping." I was relieved to hear this. She began getting ready to go out and I went back to watching cartoons.

 

-

 

Anna (mother)

 

I awoke very early this morning. I dozed off when I laid down after coming home from work yesterday, and dinner was a little late because I didn't start until Christi complained about being hungry. I didn't have anything to do this early in the morning, so I went to check on Christi. Her diaper wasn't wet, and I hoped that this meant her problem was coming to an end. I then laid down on the living room couch and entered a state of half-sleep until my phone alarm went off.

 

-

 

I got Christi up, but her diaper was wet, contrary to what I saw earlier. I thought maybe I was mistaken in my early morning daze, but I checked the diaper and it was still warm. Could she have really had an accident so close to waking up? I wondered if she could be doing it on purpose. I remembered a few occasions where I was watching TV with Christi, and she would adopt a strange expression as though she was hypnotized when a diaper commercial played. She also seemed kind of apathetic towards toys, unlike other children her age. Could this be what she really wants? There is no way she would be able to outright say it if that's the case, so I may need to be a bit assertive.

 

I'll have a little fun with it too.

 

-

 

Age 10

 

Anna

 

Christi was sick with a fever and sitting wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. She had spent the entire day diapered, but it didn't do much for her mood. What was normally her favorite part, being changed, was embittered by the chills that assaulted her whenever she left her blanket cocoon. It wasn't for nothing, however, she had been wetting a lot from her high fluid intake and the diapers saved her from many harrowing trips to the bathroom.

 

She had slept peacefully most of the day, letting her gather the strength to be sitting up now, and now she wanted to eat. I was making the wonderfully cliche dish of chicken noodle soup. I offered to feed her, but she declined. She must have been really hungry, because she ate it all, only pausing and warming up between bowls. Christi was shivering afterwards, but it ceased quickly. Thankfully, it didn't seem like she pushed herself too hard.

 

She laid down, eyes still quite wakeful. Her fidgeting under the blanket indicating she was just trying to finish restoring her pre-dinner state of warmth. Eventually Christi inched up into slouched posture, and remained that way while watching TV until she started twisting in discomfort.

 

"Mom, my stomach hurts, I think I might need to..." She stopped, hesitant to complete that sentence. Her facial expression looked embarrassed.

 

"Do you have to throw up?"

 

"No... It's not that, it's..." Once again, Christi was unable to finish, but I perfectly understood what she was trying to communicate at this point.

 

"It's okay, sweetie, we can clean you up afterwards." Christi turned and slunk off the couch, placing her feet on the floor.

 

"But I... I..." She was overcome with cramps and buried her face in the couch cushion. I heard the faint, repulsive squishing noise come from her diaper, signaling that Christi had lost the fight against her body. I could hear muffled sobs. I wanted to console her, but decided it was better to clean her up as quickly as possible. I grabbed a garbage bag from the kitchen, unfolded it, and returned to Christi.

 

I got her to stand up and adjusted the blanket so she could walk without tripping. After bring her to the bathroom door, I stopped.

 

"I'm going to quickly go get the water heated up, so stand here for a moment. I'll also be bathing with you." I hurriedly got undressed, set the garbage bag aside in the bathroom, and completed my task.

 

"Do you want me to a open a window too?" I looked to the doorway and Christi peaked in. It was warm outside, but it would still let the heat from the hot water out of the bathroom. I wasn't so much concerned for myself as I was for reducing the humiliation of this situation on Christi.

 

She clumsily nodded, and I did so. I was wondering if I would need to go back out to get her, but she managed to cast aside the blanket and enter by herself.

 

"Come stand in the tub." As she came over, I picked up the garbage bag again and made sure it was open. I carefully untapped Christi's soiled diaper, which was also quite wet, and lowered it from under her. I hastily folded it up and stuffed it into the garbage bag before tying it. With that dealt with, I cast aside the bag, brought the detachable shower head down, and turned on the water.

 

Christi was shivering at this point, so I brought her closer to me while I rinsed off the mess. After that initial cleaning was done, I lowered our bodies down together and began running the water over bother of us. Christi was still shivering with her face in my chest, so she squeezed tighter against me for warmth. It was then I felt her mouth wrap around my breast and start sucking.

 

I was shocked, but managed to not recoil from that position. I looked down, and Christi did not seem to be aware of what she was doing, like she was in a spell. After letting the situation register, I realized that I was enjoying this. I felt somewhat guilty, but I would feel even worse forcing Christi away, especially now that she had seemed to calm down. I ran my hand up and down Christi's back, savoring this rediscovered sensation. I came back to my senses and decided that I needed to finish washing, so I wet down Christi's hair and started shampooing it.

 

Somewhere in the middle of rubbing her scalp, Christi unlatched from me. I sighed in disappointment, but thought it was for the best as washing around that position would have been awkward. The rest of the bath was uneventful. I had gotten use to bathing her while she was barely awake. I turned on the faucet to fill up the tub so she could bare without my warmth for a while, and got out to dry myself off. I also closed the window as the smell had dispersed by now.

 

"Wake up, sweetie, it's time to get out." I stood by the tub with one towel wrapped around me and another one in my hands. Christi, in a zombie-like state I had become accustomed to, rose from the tub with my command. I wrapped the towel around her, careful to keep her from getting too cold, and began drying her off thoroughly. I then got another dry towel out to wrap around her, and lead her out of the bathroom.

 

She seemed tired from the stress of that situation, so I decided it was bedtime for her. I got Christi back to her room and diapered her like I did many other times that day. I felt bad when she started shivering again and immediately pulled her into a hug after I finished taping up her diaper. Her head was leaning against my chest as I held her, and a thought slipped into my head. 'If she's like this, then maybe if I undo my towel she'll...' but I pushed that thought out of my head.

 

When Christi is better, I'll muster up the resolve to talk to her about that. For now, I shouldn't try to take advantage of the situation.

 

-

 

Christi

 

I woke up not exactly remembering how I had gotten into bed. I was wearing a dry diaper, I had forgotten how that happened too. Upon sitting up, I realized that I was feeling much better today. I covered myself with a T shirt and walked into the living room, where I found my mother.

 

"Good morning sweetie, are you feeling better?"

 

"Yes, mommy, much better."

 

"Hmm, I wonder if it's because of that..."

 

"That?"

 

"Do you not remember last night?" I didn't make a real effort to recollect until now, and upon doing so, I started feeling embarrassed. The memories continued rolling back and I realized what 'that' was. A warm body pressed against me and a sweet taste in my mouth. My previous embarrassment was easily eclipsed by this one, and it felt like my fever had come back in full force with all the heat bubbling up to my face.

 

Mother, seeing this reaction, giggled slightly.

 

"Come on, it's not a big deal." Mother's words had no effect. She started walking over to me.

 

"If you don't stop reacting like this, you're going to turn into a tomato." She knelt and brought her face close to mine.

 

"And you know how much I love tomatoes." She began assaulting my face with kisses.

 

"Ah, Stop!"

 

"I'm going to eat you up, tomato girl!" She pushed me down and continued her attack on my defenseless self.

 

"No, don't eat me! Don't eat me!" Mother began retracting.

 

"Christi, would you be willing to take more baths with me in the future? It would make me very happy." I was confused for a moment, but then realized what she was implying.

 

"Y-yes." She gave an excited smile I had never seen before at that response.

 

"I love you, Christi."

 

"I love you too, mommy."

 

-

 

Age 11

 

Anna

 

A wonderful, blissful feeling was slowing my journey across the void between sleep and awake. I started registering a sensation of warmth, then I felt the presence of my body. Upon trying to move, I felt weight and resistance, and my senses were brought fully back into the material realm. The soft fabric both above and below me briefly distorted my sense of up and down. I tried to move the arm that wasn't pinned under myself, and felt it move down a warm body covered in fabric. My hand stopped when it reached the recognizable texture of Christi's diaper underneath pajama pants.

 

I opened my eyes and looked down to see that Christi had already started feeding. I moved my hand back up along her body and closed my eyes to savor this wonderful awakening before thinking about what happened. When we went to sleep, Christi was laying further away from me. She must have woken up before me and crawled underneath my arm. She also must have unbuttoned my top. It felt so surreal that she had taken the initiative like that, the girl who was so quiet and passive in the beginning when we were together like this. Back then, she would never talk or respond to me during these times, I wondered if that had changed now.

 

"Good morning my little angel." I moved my hand back down along her body without opening my eyes yet. I continued occasionally rubbing her back until she was finished with the first breast, then shifted closer somewhat so she could more easily get the second. After she was done, I opened my eyes and began speaking.

 

"Christi?"

 

"Mm?" She looked up at me.

 

"How does that taste?"

 

"Uh... I don't know, sweet, I guess?" She had definitely changed since back then.

 

I oriented myself so that my head was level with hers, and started bringing my face closer to hers. When she realized I wasn't going to stop, her mouth opened slightly in a gasp, which made things easier for me. My lips pressed lightly against hers and my tongue reached out to grab a taste of what was beyond that. I felt the vague presence of a sweet flavor before Christi pulled back.

 

"Huh?! What was that for?!"

 

"I wanted to see what it tasted like."

 

"But that...!"

 

"Did you already have somebody else you planned on giving your first kiss to?"

 

"H-hey! This doesn't count!" She was getting really fired up over this, so I adopted an apologetic attitude.

 

"I'm sorry, I was just teasing you." I reached out to pat her head. The conversation smoothly died off with that, but I spoke again before an awkward silence was created.

 

"Christi, why are you so energetic today?"

 

"Huh? I don't feel any different than normal." I closed my eyes and feigned an unhappy expression.

 

"I see. You've really changed. It feels like it was just yesterday that I was breastfeeding an adorable diapered girl cradled in my arms." I dropped my act and shot a smile at Christi while opening one eye.

 

She started giggling. I don't think I minded this change.

 

-

 

Age 12

 

Christi

 

Mother had just finished washing me. I leaned back and submerged my upper body in the bath water. I was getting too big for us to both be in together, so mother had been going before me. She was already dry, with a towel wrapped around her.

 

"I'm going to get ready." Mother stood up and began walking out of the bathroom. It didn't bother me as much as it use to, but I still felt a small emptiness with the loss of her company. I slouched down further into the water. My desire to be with her did nothing counteract my sluggishness.

 

The water was cooling down. I brought my arms from my sides, and ran my hands up along my legs. My fingers moved across my stomach, and halted at my chest. My mind briefly clouded from the sensation, but I forced myself to stop before I did something that would only leave me frustrated.

 

With the will power I had mustered up, I began standing up, and started draining the water. I then toweled off like my mother before me, and left the bathroom.

 

Mother was sitting on the bed waiting for me, with a fresh diaper unfolded on the floor next to it and her supplies on a nearby table. I went through the motions I normally I went through. Though it had become fairly routine, my feelings lately had been changing. Whereas before I focused on the feeling of being taken care of, I now fixated more on the sensation of the diaper itself. I normally slept better on these nights, but now the restlessness can sometimes make it more difficult. I didn't know whether the change was in me, or if it was because mother had started buying me a larger size of diaper.

 

Mother finished with me and helped me up. I got dressed in my nighttime wear while she stood waiting to turn the lights off. After laying down, I heard the click of the switch and the room got dark.

 

As mother crawled into the bed, I heard a crinkling noise, and my ears focused to carefully track it as she twisted into her sleeping posture. With her close to me, I moved my hand to touch the back of her pajama pants, and felt the unbelievable texture of thick padding underneath them. Noticing me, she giggled.

 

"Mom...?"

 

"Ah, I was thinking, since we're going to the movie theater tomorrow and you always seem to have problems with drinking too much soda, that maybe you would like to wear there?"

 

That didn't directly address my confusion, but I could make out the connections. It was an obvious idea, and she may have thought that I would be too embarrassed to do something like that even if I wanted to, so she would do this to make me feel more at ease. Though it was true that the thought of wearing diapers outside made me a little nervous, I was more afraid that mother wouldn't approve of me doing it.

 

"Jeez, mom, you're so weird." I squeezed the padding of her diaper, reassuring myself that it was real.

 

"Hey, I expect some gratitude out of you, crinklebutt." She started jabbing me in the stomach with her fingers, forcing me to withdraw my arms to defend myself.

 

"Ow! Alight! I'm grateful!" She ceased her onslaught.

 

"Come on, let's go to sleep" She readjusted herself and closed her eyes.

 

It felt somehow uneven leaving things like that, but there was nothing else for me to do. I rolled myself into a more comfortable position and drifted off.

 

-

 

The first thing I felt was warmth in front of me, then the bed and the covers around me took shape in my mind. Lastly, a taste on my tongue and the unconscious motion of my mouth. Whenever mother woke up before me, she had been able to coax me into moving without me realizing it. I had grown so used to it now that it seemed like she could no longer tell exactly when I came to my senses.

 

After thinking this, mother's hand started stroking my hair. With that, it felt like I had lost some sort of challenge.

 

I returned my attention to feeding. My mind fell quiet again as I focused on the sweet liquid entering my mouth. The sensation of drinking something warm caused my body to react on its own, and wetness started spreading through my diaper. I was losing myself amidst this series of unthinking actions.

 

I finished drinking, and my mind began feeling less fuzzy. I still laid motionless as mother moved around to reach and button up her pajama top. Shortly, she turned back to me and once again began stroking my hair.

 

I still felt comfortable, but a trace of restlessness was starting to grow in me. I raised my head to communicate my urge to get up, but my thoughts were cut off by a strange sight. Mother peacefully resting with her eyes closed, while gingerly sucking on a pink pacifier. I started pulling myself away so I could sit up, and this caused mother to do the same. With both of us now sitting on the bed looking at each other, she took the pacifier out of her mouth and spoke.

 

"What's wrong, sweetie?" She said with a concerned tone, but I sensed the fakeness behind it.

 

"What are you doing with that?" I pointed at the object in her hand. She pretended to be confused by my question.

 

"Oh, this? Well, it seems a bit unfair that you get to have all of the fun, doesn't it?" A smile naturally formed on her face. She was clearly amused.

 

I didn't have a reply and she started giggling. My frustration must have shown on my face.