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Jul 6th, 2015
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  1. After weeks of observation and reflection, I have finally reached the conclusion that I seethe with anger whenever I think about Mr. Shane Ghoul's base-minded quips. To plunge right into it, when Shane was first found devising brutal scams to get money for nothing, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Shane is planning to trick academics into abandoning the principles of scientific inquiry, I'm downright terrified.
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  3. Surely, the good Lord must have wept when He saw Shane substitute “I-it” relationships for “I-thou” relationships. I know some backwards parvenus who actually believe that his debauches are the result of a high-minded urge to do sociological research. Incredible? Those same people have told me that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and sophomoric paranoiacs. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that he sometimes uses the word “counterintelligence” when describing his personal attacks. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response.
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  5. Let's look at the facts. First, with Shane's ramblings, simple credos like “check your sources” and “argue the other side of the question” have gone out the window. Second, Shane treats serious issues callously and somewhat flippantly. And finally, Shane used to maintain that society is screaming for his musings. When he realized that no one was falling for that claptrap, he quickly changed his tune to say that the most presumptuous porn stars you'll ever see are easily housebroken. Shane is unequivocally a sententious liar, and shame on anyone who believes him. He gives me the heebie-jeebies. In other words—and let's say this plainly, clearly, and soberly so that no one can misinterpret his true intentions—if anything will free us from the shackles of his frightful malisons, it's knowledge of the world as it really is. It's knowledge that if Shane's sick bruta fulmina became more widespread, it would spell the ruination of this country. My goal for this letter was to build a working consensus to tackle big problems. Know that I have done my best while trying always to instill a sense of responsibility and maturity in those who paint pictures of unhinged worlds inhabited by malodorous slicksters. Let an honest history judge.
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