Closing Time (Suzu / Taro extra)

Closing Time
-There is no free dessert.


“So wait, she smiles, but only with her eyes?”

Suzu nods. “Yup. And I think she can float, or something. But most of the time she just pulls the strings.”

I raise an eyebrow as I continue to wipe down the counter. “I've never done that before. Smiled with just my eyes.”

“Me neither.” She says, before taking a sip from her straw. “I even tried it, it's hard.”

I decide to give it a shot. Suzu watches me blankly as she takes another long sip. She's right, it's kind of... wait, almost got... no, I don't think I can do it. This is embarrassing anyway, cut it out, Taro.

“You read weird books, Suzu.” I say, giving up. A glance at the clock says there's only ten minutes until it's time to start closing down for the night. Thank god, I want to go home.

“That one wasn't even very weird, though. There was this other one...”

“The one where John dies at the end?”

“Yeah!” She smiles, before biting her lip. “But wait, no.”

Apparently, it's too hard to explain, because she goes back to her drink, staring at the counter in front of her. I can hear the sound of her straw sucking up air.

“Want another one?” I ask, shaking some crumbs from a cutting board.

“No, that's okay.” She says, frowning. “Sorry for... coming in so late.”

About that. “Have you been sleepwalking again?”

Suzu squirms in her seat, looking uncomfortable. “I might have. Or, I might be. Not right now, though.”

“Well, yeah.” I smile, before taking a quick glance out the window for the light of cars or people on the street. Five minutes left, any new customers now would be bad. “You look pretty awake.”

Suzu mumbles something about needing to go deeper before taking another sip from her now empty glass. I don't really mind her being here at all, even if it's kind of disturbing that she managed to get all the way down here by herself. The girl sitting on the bar stool in front of me is cute, no doubt about that at all, but she's a little weird sometimes, too. She seems to like doing things in turns, she mutters a lot in her sleep, usually some random combination of letters and numbers, and she shows up in completely unexpected places. Like at your part-time job, in the small town below Yamaku, in the dead of night.

As I go about cleaning and closing down the restaurant, in the corner of my eye I can see her slowly pitching to one side. Just as I'm about to try to help, she rights herself, shakes her head a bit, and then pulls out her phone, blinking heavily.

“Is someone coming to pick you up?” I ask, reaching with my good hand to flip the switch that turns off the neon lights on the building. There's technically still a few minutes until closing time, but anyone who would come in now is a jerk anyway.

“Yup.” Suzu replies, snapping her phone closed before returning it to her pocket. “Should be here soon.”

“Your boyfriend?” I feel my throat tighten up a bit. A lot is riding on her answer. Suzu stares down at the counter in front of her, beginning to blush a little as an embarrassed grin spreads across her face.

“Nah.” She says softly. “I'm letting him catch up on some sleep.”

I have to stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief. Not that I have anything against Hisao, he's a pretty good guy, he likes reading books and isn't afraid of much, I guess. No, no, it's just that... well, if it's not him coming to get her, then it's probably...

Get a grip Taro, you're starting to sweat. I realize that I haven't said anything in response yet and begin to sweat even more, quick, I have to fill this awkward silence somehow.

Let's see, what to talk about, what to talk about... come on, Taro, think of something. Aha!

“How'd you do on that history test today?” I ask, walking to the back to finish off the last of the dishes. Through the space that lets customers sneak a peak at the kitchen, I see her frown.

“Slept through it. I have to make it up tomorrow.” She says. Whoops.

“That just means you get more study time!” I call, grabbing a broom. Sweeping isn't very easy with only one arm that works, but I've gotten the hang of it by now. Suzu doesn't respond, so I go about cleaning the kitchen floor.

I really kind of like working here, the money helps, and it was a lot of fun figuring out that I could still make some really good dishes, even with my monoplegia. I've met a lot of interesting people, even though it was pretty terrifying at first, I spilled more than my fair share of dishes until I got the hang of things. But by now I have no problem being here, holding down the fort by myself until closing. It's a school night and the town is full of old people, so most of them are already asleep. In fact, before the girl sitting at the counter walked into my door--into, not through, mind you, I'm pretty sure the impact was what woke her up--I hadn't seen a single soul in hours. Now though, the shrill beeping from the door sensor--that's one thing I'll never get used to--alerts me to the presence of a new arrival. I glance at the clock, is it closing time? Yep, and that's a good and a bad thing, good because I don't have to take any more orders and bad because if it's not Suzu's escort then I have to explain to the customer why I can't serve them even though there's still someone in here.

“What's the story, morning glory?” A voice calls, my heart skips a beat. Shit. I mean, this is great. I mean, shit. I was right.

“Hey, Miki.” Suzu replies, sounding tired but cheered up by her friend's arrival. I take a few moments to steady myself and try to calm down before stepping out of the back.

“Yo, Taro. Thanks for keeping an eye on my girl here.” The dark skinned beauty throws me a wink and I almost trip over nothing.

“Not a problem.” I reply, leaning maybe a little heavily on the front counter. “It was nice to have some company.” I laugh and know that it sounds horribly awkward, but I can't stop halfway through or that would be even worse.

As a group, we eat lunch together almost every day. We've gone on school trips before, we've gone to the convenience store and they've even stopped by here on a weekends or for dinner. But somehow, seeing Miki here when I'm just about to get off for the day and head home, it's worse than usual, maybe because I know we're both going to be headed the same way so maybe we could walk together. And then, oh shit, what would we talk about? What would I say?

Suzu smiles at me weakly, but tilts her head to one side, oh god no, don't say anything. Miki just grins before turning to the sleepy girl sitting on the barstool.

“Ready to head out, sunshine? Any longer and I'll be carrying you home. Unless...” She stops, her eyes growing mischievous as she glances at me.

“Unless you have some food tucked away somewhere that you were going to throw away.” She wears her best poker face as she says it. Suzu laughs, but actually...

“Now that you mention it.” I retreat to the back, savoring the look of surprise and delight that plays briefly across Miki's face. When I return with two big slices of cake on a paper plate, both the girls' eyes grow big as saucers.

“We may have made a little too much earlier today. I hate throwing food out, so I was going to see if the guys in my dorm wanted some, but since you asked...” Good Taro, you sound kind of cool. The girls look from the plate to me and then back, their faces lit up with delight. Suzu looks wide awake now.

“Really?” She asks.

“For real?” Miki chimes. I hand them some silverware, the plastic ones, so I don't have to do any more dishes tonight.

“All yours.” I say, unable to stop myself from grinning smugly. I feel... what's that phrase that Haruhiko spouts sometimes? Oh yeah. Alpha as fuck.

The girls dig in gleefully, both of them look a little embarrassed by how fast they shovel down the cake. Suzu eats like she's afraid she might pass out face-first onto the plate, and Miki, well, I guess she just likes sweets. Not that I mind.

I might be a little bit entranced by how she manages to be graceful even as she wolfs down the dessert, until I notice that Suzu is peering at me, moving the fork from the plate to her mouth on automatic as she stares at me. That's kind of weird, I look away hurriedly, she's missing here and there. I opt to finish wiping down the last few things that need it before it's time to go, the sounds of chomping easily filling the silence. They finally begin to quiet down just as I'm flipping the last few lightswitches.

“That was great, Taro.” Miki's voice calls. “You're an awesome cook, you know?”

I think I'm blushing and I'm glad that they can't see it. “Wouldn't he be a chef? You don't cook cake.” Suzu wonders aloud.

“You don't chef cake either, Suzu.” She replies. They're probably getting ready to go. Okay, okay, here... here I go.

I make sure the back door is locked and everything else is put away before walking out of the kitchen. “Well, you bake cakes, but I'm not just a baker.” I throw on a grin, which Miki matches, but Suzu is still looking at me kind of funny, tilting her head to the point where it almost looks painful.

“True that.” Miki says. I throw the empty plate and the plastic silverware away, and then gesture towards the door.

“Shall we go?” I ask. They nod, hopping off the bar stools, Suzu a little more wobbly than her companion. I check one more time to make sure that all the other doors are locked and everything is turned off, and then we walk out the front door and I lock it behind us. All of it's a little more of a hassle with only one working arm, but at least I'm an awesome cook, and chef, and baker.

Right, don't get nervous now, Taro, I'm just going to walk back up the hill towards the school, at night, with two pretty girls. One of them being the one that I've had a crush on all year. Right. Nothing to be nervous about. Nothing at--damn it Suzu, stop looking at me like that. Something's up and she knows it, even though she looks like she would be fine with spending the night right here if it meant she could just go to bed now.

The two girls link arms as we begin heading home. As we walk up the hill, I use every conversation trick in the book--literally, I found a book filled with them and I've used up all the ones I can remember.

I steadily start to get more and more nervous as I run out of things to talk about and my time with them, with Miki, begins to come to a close. Even though I see her every day, part of me would love nothing more than spending more nights with her like this, just talking, even if it's terrifying. But as I glance over at her as we walk, something inside me knows...

...Something just tells me that I don't have a chance.

This is one of the hottest girls at the school, who's a star on the track team, second only to Emi Ibarazaki. She's fiercely loyal to her friends, always willing to step in and help Suzu or anyone else when they need it, and with her disability...

Before I know it, we've reached the dorms, and it's time to go our separate ways. I guess I'm out of time. It's just as well, I would have only screwed things up if I had had longer, and asking her to do something this weekend is out of the question, she'd shoot me down, I just know it.

“See ya later!” Miki is calling and I'm waving, but Suzu is still standing here. The gorgeous, brown-skinned girl looks at both of us in the glow of the lamps that are strewn throughout the grounds.

“Aren't you coming, Suzu?” She asks. The wannabe snoozer shakes her head.

“I need to talk to Taro.” She says quietly. Oh god, oh god oh god. “About the history test.”

Miki shrugs. “All right then, don't be too long. Movie night tomorrow, right?”

“It's a done deal.” Suzu mumbles, smiling. Miki heads into the girls' dorms with a grin.

Is this the part where I run? Maybe I should have already started doing that, shit, shiiit, c'mon Taro, what do we do now?

“What are you doing?” Suzu asks, turning to me. She peers at me curiously,  a hint of a sly smile on her face.

“Nothing. What? I'm not doing anything.” We're friends and we have been for a while, but can she see right through me? I'm sweating again, maybe I should just cut and run now. I wish I had found some reason to stay behind at work just a little longer, I feel comfortable there by now, it's all familiar. This is not familiar. This is not good.

“Did you really make all that cake by mistake?” She asks, blinking at me. She doesn't seem upset or anything, and I don't think she's the type who would make fun of me, but... what if I tell her, and she tells Miki? And what if Miki is the one who laughs at me, or tells all her friends? Would she do that? I don't think she would, but...

“What can I say?” Oh hell yes, I've got this. “I like chefing cake.” Yeeeah. Haruhiko would be proud.

Suzu laughs. “You know what I mean, though.” She tilts her head to one side again. “Come on Taro, you can tell me.”

“It doesn't matter anyway.” I force a smile to my face. Even if it was only for a little while, being with the two of them outside of school like this was worth working that entire shift. It was nice, I like being around Miki, it's just...

“...She would never be interested in someone like me.”

Suzu's face falls. “Taro, that's not true!”

“It is though. She's on the track team, and I'm just...” I shrug, glancing down at my sizable figure. A girl like that? She would never want to be with a guy like me.

“You're big boned.” She frowns. I've heard that one before, and true as it may or may not be, it doesn't make a difference.

“It doesn't matter, Suzu. She isn't interested.”

“How do you know that? Have you asked? I can ask her.” Suzu smiles, but the idea is terrifying to me. I think... I think I would almost be better off not knowing, it would just hurt too much if her answer was negative.

I shake my head. No, no, I think this is how it should be. Maybe now that I've accepted it, I can get over this crush.

“It's just...” I glance around, avoiding the sad gaze of the girl in front of me. “With my arm, and her hand, I kind of thought...”

“It's stupid, I know, but... I kind of thought we were alike. A little bit. In some ways.”

“Taro...” Suzu looks pained. And sleepy, I should let her go, I have a stack of manga waiting to help me unwind after today's shift back at my room anyway.

“It's okay, I appreciate it Suzu, I do. But I'm gonna go.” She continues to protest even as I turn to leave.

“Hey, Taro!”

“What?”

She gives me a sad, tired smile. "I know it's scary." She says. "But you should try."

I stand there in silence for a few long moments, she's right, on both counts. I should. I mean, I've been treasuring every conversation I've had with Miki, I've been watching her from afar, not trying to be a stalker or anything, just... just wishing I could mean something to her, I guess. And I know I'll never know until I try, but...

But it's late, I'm tired and I'm hungry and I just want to go home. Today was good, today was great, but I think that's all I can ask for. That's all I can expect.

"Thanks, Suzu." I say under my breath, although I do mean it. I turn around again. "Goodnight."

I'm only able to take a few steps towards the boy's dorms when she calls after me again.

"Taro, wait!"

I glance back over my shoulder. "What."

Suzu looks like she's fighting off sleep with all her might, but she crosses her arms and narrows her eyes in determination. “If not Miki, is there anyone else?” She asks.

“Anyone else what?” Come on Suzu, it's been a long day. I just want to get home and read, maybe catch up on some of my internet message boards.

“Anyone else you might be interested in? What about Ritsu, you two sit together right?”

The little drummer girl? “She's nice, but a little too hyper. We're just friends.”

Suzu looks thoughtful, and still sleepy. “Misaki?”

The shutterbug with scoliosis? “Doesn't she have a thing for Lezard?”

“Does she?” Suzu looks genuinely surprised, maybe that's not very well known, or maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. Either way, she's nice too, but Lezard is my coworker, and the last thing I need is another reason for him to be grumpy, even though he's still hung up on the girl in front of me.

“Hmm.” She files away the information, for future use maybe. “How about Ikuno?”

Ikuno Komaki? She sits in the front row, between Haruhiko and Miki. To be honest, I don't really know that much about her, I think she's part of Molly's group of friends.

“Come on.” Suzu smiles at me in the low light, her words accompanied by the sound of the crickets on the grounds. “She's nice, I think you guys would be cute together.”

“I don't know...” I don't really like the idea of someone playing matchmaker, but... maybe I could use the help? Ikuno isn't really “big”, but...

“She's sweet!” Suzu grins.

“She's a diabetic.” I raise an eyebrow.

She shrugs. “So you can chef her a gluten-free cake.”

“You're thinking of celiac disease.” That's a girl in 2-3, I'm pretty sure.

“Am I? I don't know, I need... I need to lay down.” Suzu smiles weakly. “But you should totally talk to her, Taro.”

“I don't know.” I repeat. I mean, just about everyone in our class knows eachother by now, but we've never really talked, what if she hates me? I guess she is cute though, and not quite as intimidating as Miki would be...

“Come on! She has 'dat plump rear' or whatever it is you guys call it.” Suzu drops her voice to belt out the three words, putting her hands out as if she's gripping... something, I'm not sure if even she knows.

Well, there is that too.

“Maybe.” I'll have to think about it. In my room. With my manga and message boards.

“I'll help.” Suzu says, smiling even though she looks like she wants to pass out in the grass.

“Why?” Why is she doing all this in the first place?

“Because you're a nice guy, Taro." She says. I've heard that one before. It's always nice, it's always friendly, and I am. But that just isn't what people want sometimes, I guess.

"And because I only wound up with... with Hisao because I had people helping me.” Suzu continues, blushing again. She glances away at nothing for a moment, then looks back. “So it's only fair to help other people out too.”

Huh.

To be honest, I'm kind of jealous of Hisao. Well, not quite of him, I could never really see myself with Suzu. But I think I'm jealous of what they have. I wouldn't mind being with someone like that, being able to speak so fondly of someone else, even though it would be easier to just go home and forget about everything under a pile of comics.

Maybe she's right, maybe I could use some assistance. Even after eating lunch together all year, I never had the guts to ask Miki out on my own. I still know I don't have the slightest chance with her, but Ikuno... yeah, I could do it. I could chef her--I mean, bake her a sugar-free cake. That's what diabetics eat, right? Sugar-free things? I'll have to look into it. But I could pull it off. And maybe I could have Suzu deliver it, and I would watch her reaction? Maybe.

“Okay.” I say at last. “It's worth a shot.”

“Great!” She says, smiling brightly. “We could, we could slip her a letter, or I could follow her and see what she's into, or...”

“Are you a spy?” I ask, and she grins.

“Actually, I'm a sideki--” but she doesn't get to finish, she crumples forward into the grass, out like a light.

I guess I should have known this would happen sooner or later. Now what do I do? I mean... I could use her phone to call Miki, or I could go get her boyfriend. I'm not really good at carrying things, although she doesn't look heavy...

“I've got it.” Someone says, and a figure emerges from the darkness. Suzu might not be a spy, but apparently Miki is. I almost reel back in shock.

“H-how long have you been there?” I ask as she walks forward to scoop up her unconscious friend in her arms. With a shrug, Miki slings Suzu over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, does she always carry her like that when no one's around?

“Just got here. Thought I might be responsible for once and go over the test answers too.” She says, turning to me. She stares straight at me, those deep dark eyes locking into mine. Even an hour ago I would have had butterflies by now, but...

It's not too late I guess. This could be my chance.

I should take it. I really should, but I...

I have to let this go. I have to let her go. Maybe I'll actually have a shot with Ikuno, who knows. But I just don't have what it takes to be with a girl like this, I know that now. Part of me feels like apologizing to her, but I know the one I really should be apologizing to is myself.

“I think she has the right idea anyway, it's getting late.” I say, pointing at her burden. Miki grins.

“Yup yup. See ya tomorrow, Taro.” She begins walking back towards the girls' dorms, hefting Suzu with practiced ease, but turns when she reaches the base of the stairs.

“Good luck with Ikuno.” She says, just loudly enough so I can hear it. Her expression is hard to read in the dark with this distance, but I think she's smiling? I can't tell. I wish I could, I really do.

I don't know what to say. After another moment, she turns around again and begins marching up the stairs and then she's gone, narcoleptic luggage and all.

I stay there, watching the doors to the girls' dorms for a little bit longer. I'm not sure if I'm waiting for something or just trying to process everything that just happened. But there's no point in standing around here any longer. With the chirping of crickets filling my ears, I walk back to my room, drenched in thoughts of what could have been and what could be.





“Closing Time” is a song by Semisonic.