“Get down on your fucking knees or I slap you. If you don’t listen, we escalate, got it? I will break you.”
There was nothing in their eyes. I tried to see if it was a joke or if there was something else going on here, but no; Kaya was not joking.
“Hold on, aren’t we supposed to-“
Smack!
“FUCK. That hurt! Kaya what’s your fucking pro-“
Smack!
Jesus fucking christ, they wasn’t pulling any punches.
“You get one more of those before I close my fist. Now shut your fucking mouth and keep your eyes forward. I’ll ask for your opinion when I need it.” Their voice was cold and frigid, they really weren’t joking. I lowered myself slowly to one knee. They reared back slowly and I quickly dropped my other one. I’d never seen Kaya be quite this brutal and cold with anyone before, though they had their mean streaks. It was terrifying, but honestly, I couldn’t help but be aroused. Maybe they noticed.
“I understand you’re scared. I want you to know I really don’t care. I don’t care about anything right now. From this moment on, until I say stop, you are a toy, a plaything. Toys do not talk unless I make them speak, they do not move unless I make them move, and they do not fight back. I break them and find new ones and they do not complain. Toys do not understand because they have no choice. You have no choice. You want this. Fight back, and I will snap you in half. And we’re skipping the fists. I want to break my nails in you, not on you.”
I wanted to scream. “Kaya, I need to talk you, this isn’t like you.” “I want you to hurt me, but I want you to know I want it.” “Maybe we could soften up a bit to start?” I needed them to understand that this wasn’t okay, that I need some room to breathe. But I know if I said anything right now, I wouldn’t halfway through my sentence without being hit. I looked up at them.
And they dug their nails into me. Under the left side of my jaw and it hurt like hell. Like it really fucking hurt, I thought my fucking jaw was going to pop off. I screamed inside my mouth because trying to open it hurt more. They finally let a smirk loose and through clenched teeth said “Eyes forward. Do not look at me again. Nod if you understand. Make it clear.”
I knew what they wanted. As I brought my head down, pain shot through my head. Before I could recoil, they lifted my head up again and brought their nails under my chin; they squatted down and looked me in my eyes, their expression softened. In a hushed, kind, but almost menacing voice they said “Get up. Follow me. Don’t say word.”
My knees were a bit stiff so I took my time getting up. Halfway through, Kaya pushed me to the floor saying, “I don’t have time for your slow ass.” I scrambled back to my feet and caught up to them as they walked away.
I spent our time together trying to think of ways to talk to them that wouldn’t result in more pain for me, but I just kept with their brisk pace. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I didn’t want to run. There wasn’t really anyway to.