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May 22nd, 2015
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  1. I'm kidding myself, especially when I'm speaking to people I like to think I know.
  2. Know as in, of course, "understand." I tell myself that I understand the people I interact with, but inevitably
  3. everything they speak to me is lost. Through one ear, into the empty chamber of my cranium, then out the other ear.
  4.  
  5. Being like me, you start to want to forget about the past, because looking back it's all embarrassing.
  6. When you realize that they were telling you something vital and important, something you should treasure, but that moment is gone
  7. like a plate of potato salad in front of me at much-too-long dinner parties.
  8.  
  9. You're going to feel awfully childish if you wake up late at night, knowing yourself like you never have before
  10. and when you stand up to turn on the lights it fades away and another day begins. You learned nothing.
  11. A long day is ahead of me, and I know that even if I try to change, I am unable to. Because personalities are sewn into you, a needle with thread through your frontal lobe, tearing through incarnadine flesh, a pistol cocks back and you realize you're dead.
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