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UCLA Songbook

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  1. These songs are from a 1989 Phi Kappa Psi songbook, which was recently
  2. distributed to the fraternity's pledge class (at UCLA).
  3.  
  4. Lupe
  5.  
  6. Twas down in Cunt Valley, where red rivers flow
  7. Where cocksuckers flourish, and maidenheads grow,
  8. Twas there I met Lupe, the girl I adore
  9. My hot fucking, cocksucking Mexican whore
  10.  
  11. Now Lupe popped her cherry, when she was but eight
  12. Swinging upon the old garden gate,
  13. The cross member broke and the upright slipped in,
  14. And she finished her life in a welter of sin
  15.  
  16. She'll fuck you, she'll suck you, she'll tickle your nuts,
  17. And if you're not careful, she'll suck out your guts,
  18. She'll wrap her legs round you, till you think you'll die
  19. I'd rather eat Lupe than sweet cherry pie
  20.  
  21. Now Lupe's dead and buried, and lies in her tomb,
  22. While maggots crawl out of her decomposed womb,
  23. The smile on her face, is a sure cry for more,
  24. My hot fucking, cocksucking Mexican whore.
  25.  
  26.  
  27. S & M MAN (sung to the melody of "Candy Man")
  28.  
  29. Who can take his organ
  30. Dip it in Vaseline
  31. Ram it up inside you till it tickles your spleen
  32.  
  33. Chorus:
  34. The S & M Man, the S & M Man
  35. The S & M Man 'cause he mixes it with love
  36. And makes the hurtin' feel good
  37. The hurtin' feel good
  38.  
  39. Who can take your right wrist
  40. Cuff it to a stool
  41. Spin you around and whip you with his tool
  42.  
  43. Who can take a dildo
  44. Boil it 'til it's hot
  45. Cover it with oil and ram it your twat
  46.  
  47. Who can take a chainsaw
  48. Shove it up your hole
  49. Turn the fucker on and make a taco casserole
  50.  
  51. Who can take a cheese grater
  52. Rub it on your tits
  53. Collect 'em all together and eat the little bits
  54.  
  55. Who can take 2 ice picks
  56. ram 'em in her ears
  57. ride her like a harley with his dick stuck up her rear
  58.  
  59. Who can take a homo
  60. let him make a pass
  61. take him round the back and kick his fucking ass
  62.  
  63. Who can take a hammer
  64. and an anvil too
  65. lay your dick upon it and beat it till its blue
  66.  
  67. Who can go to an abortion clinic
  68. sneak around the back
  69. rummage through the garbage and find a tasty snack
  70.  
  71. Who can take your girlfriend
  72. dress her up in lace
  73. lay her on the bed & punch her in the face
  74.  
  75. Who can take your grandma
  76. bend her over on the lawn
  77. fuck her up the ass while grandpa cheers you on
  78.  
  79.  
  80. YO-HO
  81.  
  82. I placed my hand upon her toe
  83. Yo-ho, yo-ho
  84. (repeat)
  85. I place my hand upon her toe
  86. She said "Phi Psi you're way too low"
  87. Shove it in shove it out quit fuckin' about
  88. Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho
  89.  
  90. I placed my hand upon her thigh
  91. Yo-ho, yo-ho
  92. (repeat)
  93. I place my hand upon her thigh
  94. She said "Phi Psi you're way too sly"
  95. Shove it in shove it out quit fuckin' about
  96. Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho
  97.  
  98. I placed my hand upon her tit
  99. Yo-ho, yo-ho
  100. (repeat)
  101. I place my hand upon her tit
  102. She said "Phi Psi go for the clit"
  103. Shove it in shove it out quit fuckin' about
  104. Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho
  105.  
  106. I placed my hand upon her snatch
  107. Yo-ho, yo-ho
  108. (repeat)
  109. I place my hand upon her snatch
  110. She said "Phi Psi go for the hatch"
  111. Shove it in shove it out quit fuckin' about
  112. Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho
  113.  
  114. I placed my cock inside her mouth
  115. Yo-ho, yo-ho
  116. (repeat)
  117. I placed my cock inside her mouth
  118. She said "Phi Psi AGH-AAAAA!!!"
  119. Shove it in shove it out quit fuckin' about
  120. Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho
  121.  
  122. We laid her out in a pine wood box
  123. Yo-ho, yo-ho
  124. (repeat)
  125. We laid her out in a pine wood box
  126. She died from sucking a Phi Psi cock
  127. Shove it in shove it out quit fuckin' about
  128. Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho
  129.  
  130. We dig her up every now and then
  131. Yo-ho, yo-ho
  132. (repeat)
  133. We dig her up every now and then
  134. We fucked her once we'll fuck her again
  135. Shove it in shove it out quit fuckin' about
  136. Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho
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