why do you people want to read this

[00:15] Red: *grinning like an idiot, threatening to close the window before he can get in*

[00:30] Blue: Hey! *shoves the last zucchini in there* Don't want to spoil our fun, do you? xP

[00:32] Red: ...What... Is THAT? >:C *forgets he's supposed to be holding the window open XD*

[00:35] Blue: *just laughs as he snatches the zucchini back just in time, and waits patiently for Red to open it again*

[00:42] Red: *opens it, frowning*

[00:44] Blue: *climbs in, still laughing his ass off but trying to be quiet about it*

[00:47] Red: What's so funny?

[00:52] Blue: *eventually calms down* Well, you see... for the last of these things, I figured we could do something special. x3

[00:57] Red: *raises eyebrow at* ...You're kidding.

[00:59] Blue: *just smiles at*

[01:01] Red: Blue, that won't FIT. .__.

[01:12] Blue: Sure it will! This is a pretty small one-- it's not much bigger than my dick. u_u Besides, if it's really an issue, we don't have to. We can always do something else with it.

[01:13] Red: *AMAZINGLY, nods* ...Just not up the ass, and be careful. 

[01:22] Blue: Of course. *tugs over by the waist to kiss* ...<3.

[01:24] Red: *kissback* Weirdo... Couldn't just get me a cake? *kisskisskiss*

[01:27] Blue: Who says I'm NOT getting you a cake? *kisses before he can respond to that xD*

[01:29] Red: Mm-- Hm... *grips shirt harder, then tugs on it xD*

[01:30] Blue: *soft chuckle, gently nudges Red in the direction of the bed*

[01:31] Red: Just changed my sheets... *jumps in bed, shirt half over his head by mid-jump*

[01:39] Blue: *looking unbelievably excited, sets zucchini and some super-extra-large-mega-ultra-I-am-probably-just-trying-to-impress-the-cashier condoms on the bedside table* Eh, we can put a towel down. *strips out of own shirt before hopping into bed with*

[01:44] Red: *grabs Blue and yanks him on top of him* Yeah... 

[01:58] Blue: *gets comfortable straddling while he resumes kissing Red*

[01:59] Red: *very quickly gets much friskier, occasionally nipping lip or tongue*

[02:40] Blue: Mmm... *moves hand along side, starts exploring torso*

[02:42] Red: *stretches a little - okay, a lot - to let him* 

[02:48] Blue: *moves to kiss neck, keeps feeling around* ...<3.

[02:50] Red: *whines a little, starts trying to worm out of his jeans*

[03:04] Blue: *smiles and nips neck* Patience, babe. *starts teasing nipple*

[03:07] Red: Ah...! *obeys, automatically spreads legs without realizing it*

[03:17] Blue: *keeps teasing for a bit, then moves down so mouth can reach other nipple*

[03:19] Red: *again, stretches to let him, suddenly breathing a lot harder*

[03:26] Blue: *...decides to drive him absolutely crazy and does his best to make that happen :'D*

[03:27] Red: *moans and grips onto his hair* Blue, you're--! Fuck...!

[03:44] Blue: *just laughs a little and keeps it up*

[03:46] Red: *slight growl, but it's not an angry one* Blue... C'mon... Just fuck me! Please!

[03:54] Blue: *looks up at* ...Really? Already?

[04:10] Red: *looks right back at, probably more needy and turned on than Blue has seen him in a WHILE :'D* Just... Anything...

[05:05] Blue: *licks lips* ...Alright. Here... *gets off of so Red can get his pants off*

[05:06] Red: *kicks them off, but leaves his boxers on, suddenly distracted by looking at Blue*

[05:07] Blue: *tugs at boxers with a small smirk* Those too. Unless you'd rather I leave mine on...? *has already unbuttoned pants*

[05:08] Red: *nodnodnod, tugs those off, too*

[01:23] Blue: *just pulls pants and boxers down together, then climbs back on top of* ...Now, where were we...?

[01:25] Red: *there is no pause between Blue saying this and Red shoving his tongue down Blue's throat :'D*

[01:35] Blue: *takes it in stride and proceeds to furiously make out with* <3~

[01:37] Red: *nails are starting to dig in a little :'D* Mm... *wants to touch more and talk more but doesn't want to stop making out with, so just keeps making out with :'D*

[02:00] Blue: *seems to have no issue with this, until he has an idea* ...Hm. *pulls back slightly* ...You know, there's something else I can do with my mouth. >:3

[02:01] Red: *it takes him a second to realize Blue pulled back* Wha- Oh... Yeah, go ahead... *licks lips slightly*

[02:07] Blue: *grins, kisses neck... and then keeps kissing lower and lower on his body* ...n_n~

[02:08] Red: *shiver* You're such a tease...

[02:18] Blue: *moves tongue over belly button* Aww, you like it. *kisses right below it*

[02:19] Red: *shivers again, trying not to think of how self-conscious he is about recently shaving his stomach XD*

[02:30] Blue: *figures the parts he shaved might be a little sensitive, tries moving tongue over those* ...<3?

[02:31] Red: *shivers yet again, leg twitches a little in anticipation*

[02:37] Blue: *teases there for a bit, then apparently decides he wants more of a reaction, and so just goes about giving him oral already XD*

[02:41] Red: *arches back a bit, reaching down to grip his hair* Hands, too... *voice is a little strained*

[02:48] Blue: Mmn. *starts fingering as he moves his tongue, slowly at first*

[02:52] Red: *apparently the fingers are working, moans very softly and raises hips* That's good...

[02:52] Blue: *moves them in deeper, keeps going slow and steady with tongue*

[02:54] Red: *apparently, one appendage or the other hit a good spot* Blue...! That's REALLY good! 

[02:55] Blue: <3! *keeps doing what he just did, probably trying to figure out which one was good xD*

[02:58] Red: *he doesn't seem to be reacting the same, so Blue's probably failing xP* Uhm... Fingers... G-spot, y'know... That feels good. *in his head, he's probably trying not to laugh at how Blue gets flustered at such words as "G-spot", "vagina", and "clitoris" XDD*

[03:00] Blue: *flushes a little, but does best to move fingers to where they were* ...?

[03:03] Red: Ah... Yeah... Ooh-! Yeah, like that... *fingers tighten in his hair*

[03:05] Blue: *seems encouraged by the fact that he apparently did something right, moves hand and tongue a little faster*

[03:51] Red: Nnh--! *can't really pull him any closer and doesn't want to risk making him screw up, so lets go of and balls his fists in the sheets*

[03:57] Blue: *keeps going for a bit, then tries inserting another finger*

[04:02] Red: *automatically moves back against said finger, taking it pretty damn easy, but hey, what else is new?*

[04:07] Blue: *smiles a little and lets him get used to that before he tries scissoring fingers a little, wanting to get him nice and prepared to put a fruit in there XD*

[04:11] Red: *frowns a little, because that doesn't feel as good, but then gets the fuck over himself and enjoys it, because it still feels pretty damn good*

[04:14] Blue: *tries to make up for it with his tongue :'D*

[04:19] Red: Ah--! Blue-- *yeah, that works, too xD*

[04:32] Blue: *and so decides to go with this 8'D, keeps gently working on preparing him*

[04:33] Red: *groans -- probably a little too loud* Blue... Come on... *squeezes eyes shut* Fuck, that's hot...

[04:43] Blue: *lowers head just a little to put mouth on more fully, tries sucking as fingers move*

[04:45] Red: *that REALLY works* BLUE! Don't stop... *leg twitches again*

[21:45] Blue: *keeps sucking, and indeed it gives his tongue a little break x'D*

[21:54] Red: *can't seem to help reaching down and touching him ;w;* You really make me feel good, y'know... *hand tightens in hair*

[21:55] Blue: *looks up at, seems to be trying to smile without really using his mouth* ...<3.

[21:57] Red: *he gets the message regardless :'D, tries shakily petting hair* ...I love you.

[22:07] Blue: *eyes seem to brighten up a bit, starts moving tongue again*

[02:19] Red: *smiles at, but then realizes he can't see it* Hey, Blue, I'm smiling right now. *hand tightens a little again when he does that*

[02:23] Blue: *small chuckle, free hand squeezes thigh affectionately* ...Hn~ *tries inserting fourth finger* ...?

[02:24] Red: *seeths a bit* ...Lube, babe? 

[02:25] Blue: *immediately pulls it out and reaches for it* ...Sorry. <3 *squirts some out and tries again, slower this time*

[02:27] Red: *nods, then takes the chance to lean down and kiss him while his mouth is free* 

[02:34] Blue: *kisses back, smiling* ...Just tell me what works and what doesn't, okay?

[02:35] Red: *chu* I always do, baby. *kisses again, shifts a bit so fingers are a little more comfortable*

[02:41] Blue: Okay... *nuzzles, starts working fingers to make sure the lube is everywhere it should be and to try to stretch a little*

[02:46] Red: *grits teeth a bit and nods* ...I think that's enough. No reason it shouldn't fit now. *kisses cheek*

[02:55] Blue: Alright. If you're sure... *kisses forehead, then pulls out and goes about putting a condom and lube onto a fruit XD*

[02:57] Red: *watches, kind of amusedly* ...This is SO WEIRD.

[03:43] Blue: Yeah? Just wait until it's inside you and it'll get even weirder. *grins and gets himself and the zucchini in position* ...Ready?

[03:47] Red: *nods* ..Go ahead. 

[04:03] Blue: Okay. *very gently starts inserting, watching Red's face*

[04:04] Red: *closes eyes, seems to be enjoying it, just nods*

[04:13] Blue: *and so keeps going, making sure Red isn't the least bit uncomfortable*

[04:14] Red: *LOL, he clearly isn't* ...It feels kinda good...

[04:22] Blue: ...Good. I would hope so. *small smile, gets it all the way in* ...Still good?

[04:26] Red: Yeah... Is that all of it? *breathing is starting to get heavy again*

[04:39] Blue: All except for the part I'm using at a handle, yeah. How are you feeling?

[04:43] Red: It feels good. ...Kinda big. *thinks for a moment* ...I like it. Go ahead and fuck me with it. *^^*

[04:59] Blue: *just grins broadly* ...Alright, if you say so~ *begins thrusting, slowly at first*

[05:02] Red: *closes eyes, fingers already digging back into the sheets* Damn...

[23:56] Blue: *soon picks up the pace, just kinda... watching him :'D*

[23:57] Red: *tries not to show how much he's enjoying this* ... *and fails :'D*

[00:04] Blue: *smiles as he keeps going, a little faster* ...Is it good, babe?

[00:10] Red: Nnh.. *just spreads legs wider and raises hips by way of a response, at this point just letting Blue see the flush on his cheeks and the sweat on his forehead and the heaving of his chest :'D*

[00:42] Blue: ...I'll just keep it up, then. *grins and does just that*

[00:54] Red: *decides to actually answer this question :'D* ...Yes! It feels good... *trails off with a very soft moan*

[00:57] Blue: It does, huh? Maybe you can try it on me sometime. :3 ...Hmm... >3 *leans down*

[01:00] Red: Blue...! *just the thought of it is getting him off xD*

[01:01] Blue: *starts licking again, because clearly he WANTS to drive Red crazy xD*

[01:06] Red: *actually cries out* BLUE--! *leg spasms and kicks out of reflex* Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck...! *grabs him by the hair again*

[01:11] Blue: *seems quite pleased with this reaction, probably won't stop until he asks for it*

[01:13] Red: *at this point, though, the part of the zucchini he's using as a handle is probably going to be a little too slippery to work with :'D*

[01:18] Blue: *keeps a firm grip on it, determined, but probably cramping up his hand and wishing he'd thought this through xD*

[01:24] Red: *continues enjoying the shit out of it, at this point sputtering whatever nonsense comes to his mind :U* Fucking... Fucking love how that feels... Love being filled up like this...! *hand clenches harder*

[01:34] Blue: *is kinda hoping he comes BEFORE the zucchini has to be wiped off, because that requires pausing x'D*

[01:39] Red: *haha, getting Red to come. Good luck with that :U* Blue...! Nn... It even feels all warm from being inside me... That's good...! That feels really good...! *back arches a little more*

[01:41] Blue: *welp, he's prepared to keep this up as long as he has to :'D* ...Mmn... *tries speeding up*

[01:48] Red: *that seems to be working* Blue-! Blue... Jam something in my ass! *...well that was blunt :'D*

[01:53] Blue: Mm?! ...Mm... *thinks about that for a second, then uses free hand to find lube, get fingers ready, and sticks one up his butt*

[01:57] Red: *yeah that worked, seems COMPLETELY overwhelmed about now :'D*

[02:07] Blue: *and is REALLY FUCKING DETERMINED, does not let up in the least*

[03:00] Red: *well that paid off, 'cause he sure as hell comes, and ejaculates, which Blue probably didn't know was possible, because Blue is probably like Fatmonster and doesn't know anything about anything, but he probably won't even be able to tell he made Red come because his only indicator is Red suddenly pushing his head away :'D*

[03:09] Blue: ...Nn? *looks up at, tongue still hanging out of mouth, wondering if he did something wrong* ...Did I hurt you...?

[03:11] Red: *just kind of grins and gives him a thumbs up* ... *then grabs his hand and places it back on his junk so he can feel, because herp derp wut is words*

[03:16] Blue: ...Oh. Oh, okay. *smiles at him, then blinks* ...Should I take the zucchini out?

[03:18] Red: Yeah, pro'y. Then just stick your dick in me |D;;

[03:24] Blue: ...O-okay, that works. owo;; *sets it aside, wipes off hands and puts a fresh condom on himself* ...Need any more lube?

[03:26] Red: ....Uh, NO. xP ...And why the condom? Hmm? *seems to be practically elated right now |D*

[03:29] Blue: Figure we should start getting into the habit. And it was free with the zucchini ones. And it's ribbed. *positions self* ...Ready? :3

[03:30] Red: *yanks him down and wraps arms around* ...Am now. *nuz* :3

[03:33] Blue: *just kisses side of head* ...Alright. <3 *easily gets himself in with a small moan*

[03:34] Red: *kisses cheek and squeezes hard, wrapping legs around* ...Think I like you in me better, though. 

[14:49] Blue: *another tiny sound, more like a happy whimper this time* ...Y-yeah. Think I like this better, too. *starts moving hips*

[14:51] Red: *nuzzles softly* Feel good...? *makes a similar, but quieter noise*

[15:24] Blue: *just lets out a breathy moan in response, thrusts a little*

[15:26] Red: *small smile, squeezes* ...You can fuck me silly if you want, baby. <3

[15:31] Blue: Hah... didn't I already do that? *small smile, still moving a little shakily*

[15:32] Red: ...Not with your own body. *kisses neck* ...If you don't want to hold back, then don't. 

[15:36] Blue: Mm... *just kinda... adjusts himself, then starts moving, probably trying to get a rhythm :'D*

[15:38] Red: Nh... *does the same, since he's gotten pretty good at responding to how Blue moves*

[15:41] Blue: *starts picking up pace, moaning a little louder* R-Red...!

[15:42] Red: Mm! *presses cheek into crook of shoulder* Shh....!

[15:49] Blue: *swallows hard and clenches teeth, trying to quiet down, thrusts harder*

[15:52] Red: *likewise :'D, kind of buries face in to muffle any noise* .... *then thoughtfully reaches up and kinda... sticks fingers in Blue's mouth. Well, ain't that sexy?*

[15:56] Blue: *sucks on them for a moment, then accidentally bites down slightly, then just lets out a whimper of apology and pushes them out with his tongue so he can go back to clenching teeth xDD*

[15:57] Red: *doesn't seem to mind the biting, lol* ....Mm? *very lightly nips shoulder in an effort to keep mouth occupied*

[16:05] Blue: ...! *moves even faster and isn't being very gentle about it, probably won't last very long tonight :'D*

[16:07] Red: *what else is new? XP* Nnh...! Blue.... *bites a little harder*

[01:11] Blue: Ngh! *buries face in the pillow next to Red's head, finds hand and squeezes hard*

[01:24] Red: *squeezes hand back just as hard, just kinda... licks, sucks, kisses and bites whatever neck skin he comes across*

[01:39] Blue: *whines a little and bares neck as much as possible, doesn't seem very consciously in control anymore :'D*

[02:09] Red: *keeps it up, trying to move back against him as much as he can, whines as well* Blue, harder...!

[03:02] Blue: *puts pretty much all he has into it, whimpering in a way that usually indicates he's coming soon*

[03:07] Red: *continues to try to muffle himself, though at this point it's more of a concern that the sound of Blue smacking into him is loud enough to wake someone up :'D, tries to raise himself up more and hold on tighter so at least the mattress doesn't creak*

[14:25] Blue: *eh, it'll stop soon-- just a few more and he'll be done :'D* ...R-Red, I... Mm--! *bites down on own tongue, whole body spasms and arches into it as he comes*

[14:27] Red: Mm... *squeezes tight and kisses up neck back to mouth* ...<3

[14:31] Blue: *just kinda... lying there, panting and sweating on top of* ... *returns kiss*

[14:32] Red: *seems suddenly just as wiped, but kisses deeply, pulling closer and threading fingers in hair*

[14:44] Blue: *nuzzles side of head with a happy sigh* ...Iloveyou. <3

[14:46] Red: *nuznuz* I love you. *kisses cheek, then lets go of to let him clean up :'D*

[14:48] Blue: *whines a little and buries face in neck* ...Not yet. :<

[14:49] Red: ...Babe, condom off, now. You know what happens if you wait |D;;

[14:56] Blue: ...Mehhhhhh... ;_; *sighs and shakily pushes self up, shivers slightly and looks around* ...You moved the trash can across the room. :c

[14:59] Red: Mom was getting suspicious. Deal with it xP

[15:01] Blue: *sighs again, then reluctantly pushes self up and makes way over to where the trash and tissues are, grumbling* ...Plenty of people have trash cans by their beds... this one's even full of snack wrappers...

[15:02] Red: Eh, yeah, but it still makes her suspicious. *follows up behind, stumbling a little* ...Also, no more condoms. They don't even help you last any longer. *small yawn*

[15:06] Blue: *small smile* ...Okay, next time I'm about to read or hear something that makes me paranoid, I'll let you know. *starts cleaning self off*

[15:07] Red: *wipes self off surprisingly fast, then cleans hands* ...For the millionth time, I'm a dude. I can't get pregnant. *pokes butt*

[15:09] Blue: There was a dude who got pregnant in Unova, though... *derpface*

[15:11] Red: ...Again, I repeat -- he had working ovaries. I do not. ...Oh, for crying out loud, does hearing about my organs really embarrass you that much? |D