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Dec 21st, 2014
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  1. [11/7/14, 10:52:45 PM] holly ampora: I’m done
  2. [11/7/14, 10:52:46 PM] holly ampora: that’s it
  3. [11/7/14, 10:52:52 PM] holly ampora: that’s it that’s the breaking point
  4. [11/7/14, 10:52:53 PM] holly ampora: there it is
  5. [11/7/14, 10:53:12 PM] holly ampora: ellen logged back into vati today and i just
  6. [11/7/14, 10:53:30 PM] holly ampora: and they pulled this passive bs about how they figured it’d piss me off and i said no
  7. [11/7/14, 10:53:49 PM] holly ampora: what pisses me off is yo-yoing me and my muse around
  8. [11/7/14, 10:54:13 PM] holly ampora: having vati come back after slapping me down and telling me oh no i cant rp vati at all he’s unhealthy for me and how dare you ask at ALL
  9.  
  10. i told her vati was unhealthy for me back at around?? july??ish??? because i was getting suicidal and whatnot, and that's when they threw a huge fit screaming at me so i decided to get back on him, and i decided that if im gonna be on a muse i dont even wanna be on, i may as well make it fun.
  11. i also told her i didn't want to rp with her bc she makes me and my other rp friend (rose ) uncomfortable.
  12. [12/16/2014 7:17:27 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  13.  
  14. <<< [11/7/14, 10:54:28 PM] holly ampora: and how DARE you say ANYTHING about how i rp an unhealthy muse w ROSE despite telling YOU that I JUST CAN’T DO IT
  15. [11/7/14, 10:54:37 PM] holly ampora: HERE’S PROOF THAT IT RARELY EVER HAPPENS OMG
  16. [11/7/14, 10:54:45 PM] holly ampora: HOW DARE
  17.  
  18. she said i was rping with everyone but her, so i sent her logs as proof that i was barely rping with anybody at all because i was so busy with rl things
  19. [12/16/2014 7:17:37 PM] -JM: needless to say she got really pissed about it
  20. [12/16/2014 7:18:41 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  21.  
  22. <<< [11/7/14, 10:54:47 PM] holly ampora: and I just
  23. [11/7/14, 10:54:48 PM] holly ampora: (nerd)
  24. [11/7/14, 10:54:50 PM] holly ampora: fine ok whatever
  25. [11/7/14, 10:54:55 PM] holly ampora: and they just
  26. [11/7/14, 10:55:13 PM] holly ampora: completely ignore holly and any time I try to plan w them or do i get nothing but passive aggressive bs
  27.  
  28. the one time she legitimately tried to plot with me, i was on the brink of a panic attack and i told her i couldn't rp at the time, and she tried to get me to tell her what was going on. because it was post-break up, i told her i didn't trust her enough to tell her, and she proceeded to curse me out. i blocked her for a while until i felt better.
  29. [12/16/2014 7:20:39 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  30.  
  31. <<< [11/7/14, 10:55:33 PM] holly ampora: i told ellen that vati’s constant disappearing is making holly’s problems worse and neglecting and ignoring him isn’t helping anything
  32. [11/7/14, 10:55:51 PM] holly ampora: and that when they do talk all vati does is call him an idiot and do shit to isolate him a la vwigtorniella
  33.  
  34. i explained on various occasions that i was busy, midterms and concept art class and with my parents kicking me out and me trying to find a job and everything, while also working on commissions, that meant i didn't get to roleplay as much as i wanted, which resulted in vati not being available as often.
  35. i also told her i was trying to pull vati away from her because she made me uncomfortable.
  36. vati only called her character an idiot one time in the past? 3 months.
  37. [12/16/2014 7:22:25 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  38.  
  39. <<< [11/7/14, 10:56:20 PM] holly ampora: and then it’s just ‘but you said you didn’t like holly having to deal w vati’s suicidal tendencies and issues so i had vati shut him out to protect holly
  40. [11/7/14, 10:56:22 PM] holly ampora: and i just
  41. [11/7/14, 10:56:26 PM] holly ampora: bULLSHIT
  42. [11/7/14, 10:56:31 PM] holly ampora: that is THE MOST PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THING
  43. [11/7/14, 10:56:33 PM] holly ampora: I HAVE HEARD
  44. [11/7/14, 10:56:34 PM] holly ampora: IN
  45. [11/7/14, 10:56:34 PM] holly ampora: MY LIFE
  46.  
  47. when we met, she literally spent the first? 4 months of our relationship complaining about how this other rper would force HER character to deal with everyones problems. then when my character began to have plots that tested his mental stability, she comtinuously complained about me pulling the same thing. i told her i really wanted to run those plots, so i decided that i would have them be a apart a while so i could run my plots without affecting her character so negatively.
  48. [12/16/2014 7:23:47 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  49.  
  50. <<< [11/7/14, 10:56:36 PM] holly ampora: I MADE IT
  51. [11/7/14, 10:56:39 PM] holly ampora: ENTIRELY CLEAR
  52. [11/7/14, 10:56:40 PM] holly ampora: THAT NNNNO
  53. [11/7/14, 10:56:45 PM] holly ampora: IT’S NOT HIS TENDENCIES
  54. [11/7/14, 10:56:56 PM] holly ampora: IT’S THE NEGLIGENCE ON TOP OF NEVER LETTING HOLLY ACTUALLY BE A MOIRAIL AND HELP
  55. [11/7/14, 10:57:04 PM] holly ampora: BE SUICIDAL
  56. [11/7/14, 10:57:09 PM] holly ampora: BUT HE HAS HOLLY
  57. [11/7/14, 10:57:18 PM] holly ampora: USE HIM PRODUCTIVELY STOP FUCKING JERKING ME AROUND
  58. [11/7/14, 10:57:21 PM] holly ampora: I S2G.
  59.  
  60. i told her the plots running with my character would easily be stopped by hers, and i wanted to run a plot to run my character's mental stability into the ground, because i wanted to explore a background story i had built with him. everyone else agreed to helping run this plot, except for cirrus, who decided to have her character block mine out. i told her i was okay with that decision.
  61. [12/16/2014 7:25:37 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  62.  
  63. <<< [11/7/14, 10:57:23 PM] holly ampora: AND NOW
  64. [11/7/14, 10:57:36 PM] holly ampora: AFTER TELLING ME ABOUT HOW VATI AND KRONOS WAS DOING SHIT
  65. [11/7/14, 10:57:44 PM] holly ampora: //KNOWING// HOW I WAS FIFTY SHADES OF NOT OKAY
  66. [11/7/14, 10:57:46 PM] holly ampora: I JUST LET IT GO CAUSE GOD FORBID I DON’T LET ELLEN HAVE CONFLICT NEVERMIND THERE’S GASP OTHER KINDS OF CONFLICT THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BULLSHITTERY
  67. [11/7/14, 10:57:56 PM] holly ampora: FINE ELLEN DO WHAT YOU WANT I’M HAVING HOLLY MOVE THE FUCK ON WITH HIS LIFE
  68. [11/7/14, 10:58:05 PM] holly ampora: SINCE ELLEN WASN’T PLANNING ON BRINGING VATI BACK ANyWAY
  69. [11/7/14, 10:58:07 PM] holly ampora: I JUST
  70.  
  71. she was sharing her rp stories, asked how my character was, so i told her about the plot i was currently running. again, i told her i didn't mind that her character was moving on, i told her it would make me sad because they had a nice relationship, but that i too believed it was for the best for her to do that.
  72. [12/16/2014 7:27:31 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  73.  
  74. <<< [11/7/14, 10:58:07 PM] holly ampora: I JUST
  75. [11/7/14, 10:58:09 PM] holly ampora: i told them
  76. [11/7/14, 10:58:09 PM] holly ampora: hey
  77. [11/7/14, 10:58:29 PM] holly ampora: Rez is gonna just make his memories of vati seem distant so he can cope easier and get on his own two feet you know to take pressure off of ellen w niko
  78. [11/7/14, 10:58:39 PM] holly ampora: but if vati comes back he’ll remember p quickly if you wanna do anything
  79. [11/7/14, 10:58:41 PM] holly ampora: they said ok
  80. [11/7/14, 10:58:47 PM] holly ampora: and now I just asked ellen what was going on
  81. [11/7/14, 10:59:02 PM] holly ampora: cause L’s Terezi just came up to holly like GUESS WHO’S BACK
  82. [11/7/14, 10:59:08 PM] holly ampora: LIKE ALL EXCITED TO TELL HIM
  83. [11/7/14, 10:59:13 PM] holly ampora: come to find out
  84. [11/7/14, 10:59:15 PM] holly ampora: vati blocked holly
  85. [11/7/14, 10:59:36 PM] holly ampora: didn’t respond to any of the messages holly left every night over october to help him through the issues w october
  86. [11/7/14, 10:59:43 PM] holly ampora: and just
  87. [11/7/14, 10:59:48 PM] holly ampora: I’m done.
  88.  
  89. i told her i didn't want to do anything. she asked me what was going on, i told her what the plot was going to. i never blocked her or her character in roleplay. i told her i didnt have my character respond because she was having her character move on, so i thought it would be pretty shitty of me to just suddenly 'TADA IM BACK' all over her character.
  90. [12/16/2014 7:28:24 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  91.  
  92. <<< [11/7/14, 10:59:57 PM] holly ampora: And I knew oocly that victus was talking to vati
  93. [11/7/14, 11:00:00 PM] holly ampora: but holly doesn't
  94. [11/7/14, 11:00:12 PM] holly ampora: holly doesn’t know and i s2g if he found out all unholy hell would break loose
  95. [11/7/14, 11:00:17 PM] holly ampora: like YOU DIDN’T THINK TO TELL ME
  96. [11/7/14, 11:00:25 PM] holly ampora: OH HEY HOLLY’S LAMENT AND THE FACT THAT HE’S MISSING AND WORRIED ABOUT NIKO
  97. [11/7/14, 11:00:27 PM] holly ampora: IS ALL OVER HIS BLOG
  98. [11/7/14, 11:00:28 PM] holly ampora: MAYBE
  99. [11/7/14, 11:00:32 PM] holly ampora: SINCE I HAVE SPOKEN TO HIM
  100. [11/7/14, 11:00:34 PM] holly ampora: I SHOULD TELL HOLY
  101. [11/7/14, 11:00:35 PM] holly ampora: NAH
  102. [11/7/14, 11:00:35 PM] holly ampora: NAH
  103.  
  104. the person who was rping victus was rose. rose had admitted to me that cirrus terrified her and made her uncomfortable and therefore she had no desire to rp with her anymore.
  105. [12/16/2014 7:29:02 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  106.  
  107. <<< [11/7/14, 11:00:44 PM] holly ampora: I just
  108. [11/7/14, 11:00:45 PM] holly ampora: fine whatever
  109. [11/7/14, 11:00:46 PM] holly ampora: I get it.
  110. [11/7/14, 11:01:17 PM] holly ampora: No amount of telling ellen how jealous and upset I feel over being left out and feeling like a third wheel that’s trying to hard matters
  111. [11/7/14, 11:01:22 PM] holly ampora: all they wanna do is rp w rose so whatever
  112. [11/7/14, 11:01:22 PM] holly ampora: fine
  113. [11/7/14, 11:01:24 PM] holly ampora: what the fuck ever
  114.  
  115. i explained various times i was uncomfortable with her attitude and her treatment of me.
  116. [12/16/2014 7:29:26 PM] -JM: i also explained that i wasn't PURPOSELY JUST rping with rose, rose just happened to be the only person available when i too was available.
  117. [12/16/2014 7:30:09 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  118.  
  119. <<< [11/7/14, 11:02:06 PM] holly ampora: And I’m not playing this game again
  120. [11/7/14, 11:02:09 PM] holly ampora: wherein niko comes back
  121. [11/7/14, 11:02:26 PM] holly ampora: talks to holly only enough times to apologize for being negligent, keep doing the thing, then get MAD at holly when he gets upset
  122. [11/7/14, 11:02:28 PM] holly ampora: then disappears
  123. [11/7/14, 11:02:41 PM] holly ampora: and expects holly to wait and still help when he comes back as if nothing happened?
  124. [11/7/14, 11:02:41 PM] holly ampora: no
  125. [11/7/14, 11:02:42 PM] holly ampora: nah
  126. [11/7/14, 11:02:44 PM] holly ampora: not playing that game
  127. [11/7/14, 11:02:47 PM] holly ampora: done
  128. [11/7/14, 11:02:49 PM] holly ampora: I was patient
  129. [11/7/14, 11:02:52 PM] holly ampora: i tried being patient
  130.  
  131. i told her i wasn't planning on having my character talk to hers in the first place.
  132. [12/16/2014 7:32:13 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  133.  
  134. <<< [11/7/14, 11:03:08 PM] holly ampora: when i had problems i was shot down and told i was an asshole the first few times i tried addressing them
  135. [11/7/14, 11:03:10 PM] holly ampora: and guilted
  136. [11/7/14, 11:03:34 PM] holly ampora: and made to feel like shit for communicating a want and i even tried asking what i should assumed was handwaves
  137. [11/7/14, 11:03:40 PM] holly ampora: like not even to do anything
  138. [11/7/14, 11:03:55 PM] holly ampora: ‘yo what am i allowed to handwave and what should i tell x person asking these questions’
  139. [11/7/14, 11:04:02 PM] holly ampora: and I was called an asshole just attacking ellen for THAT
  140. [11/7/14, 11:04:12 PM] holly ampora: so i couldn’t do anything at all
  141.  
  142. the entire POINT of me even rping at all anymore revolved around making sure HER needs were met until it became too much and i TOLD her so. the entire POINT of me going to ccad was to make sure SHE could achieve HER dreams. the entire point of me losing sleep was so i could be online for when SHE came online.
  143. i never once called her an asshole. and i told her i dont feel comfortable, constantly, over and over, with the way she addressed the situation.
  144. [12/16/2014 7:33:31 PM] -JM: [Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:16 AM] holly ampora:
  145.  
  146. <<< [11/7/14, 11:04:23 PM] holly ampora: and oh god fuck me for getting upset over rose
  147. [11/7/14, 11:04:30 PM] holly ampora: I just.
  148. [11/7/14, 11:04:34 PM] holly ampora: I’m done here I’m done.
  149. [11/7/14, 11:04:40 PM] holly ampora: I’m so many fucking shades of done.
  150. [11/7/14, 11:05:10 PM] holly ampora: and I will BET YOU ANYTHING
  151. [11/7/14, 11:05:14 PM] holly ampora: ANYFUCKINGTHING
  152. [11/7/14, 11:05:25 PM] holly ampora: that vati will come back
  153. [11/7/14, 11:05:27 PM] holly ampora: patch shit up w holly
  154. [11/7/14, 11:05:35 PM] holly ampora: and then fking leave again in some similar manner
  155. [11/7/14, 11:05:42 PM] holly ampora: just run off to fuck hismelf over again
  156. [11/7/14, 11:05:47 PM] holly ampora: I just
  157. [11/7/14, 11:05:48 PM] holly ampora: I’m done
  158. [11/7/14, 11:05:59 PM] holly ampora: IF he even patches ANYTHING up w holly in the first place
  159.  
  160. she was upset because i was just TALKING (not even rping) to a 15 year old girl who was the only one online at the same time as myself more often than i played pretend homestuck with cirrus.
  161. also my character never contacted hers, like i said would happen.
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