Almost Human feat. Anon in Equestria Chapter 1 - Awakening

I have no idea what possessed me to write this, but here it goes.  I guess that by putting shit off, it seems to make other things more interesting.  If you enjoy run on sentences, grammar errors, story clichés, plot holes, and a rushed story, then this story is for you.  Also, I’m kinda using the elements of the video game Infamous 1 & 2 so if you haven’t played that, spoilers ahead.  Also, by playing Infamous 2, this story takes place sometime after the “evil” path when you play.  For those of you who haven’t played it or don’t plan on doing so, I’ll try to make sense of some of story for you.

Enjoy this piece of shit.

You are writhing on the ground having some kind of nightmare while talking illegibly in your sleep.  You are covered in dust, dirt, and some blood which appeared to be dried on your skin and covering some of your face.  Your breathing was continuing to become even heavier until you finally awoke in a cold sweat while bolting upright.

“MACGRATH!”  You screamed at the top of your lungs as you awoke from your sleep.

You regained your composure while rubbing your head and groaning.  You appeared to be in some pain but were able to regain your senses and were trying desperately to recollect your thoughts. You scanned the area around while standing to your feet and noticed that you are in a dark cave with barely any visible light filled with various ruins and water flowing all over the place.  Your eyes were used to the darkness that you stood within, but your eyesight was still far from perfect.

“Mother of God…  What happened?  Wait…  I’m…  ALIVE!?  HAHAHA!  Hell yeah!  This conduit just can’t fade!  Woooooooo!  Suck it, Macgrath!  But how did I survi-  OW!  FUCK!”

You felt pain from various parts of your body as you try walking around.  Fatigue slowed your happy ass down.

“Well, at least I can still move.  That’s more than what I thought I’d be able to do after that fight.  Oh man, it sucks to be me right now!  Everything hurts!”

It was still hard for you to see, but you were able to find some dry plants growing on the side of the wall and some smooth rocks which were perfect for spark ignition.  You also came across a large staff-like stick to hold your tinder to use as a torch.

“This should work nicely.”  You say while attaching the tinder to the end of your stick.  You then struck the two rocks together and ignited your hand crafted torch.

“Yes!  I knew watching that piss-drinker on the Discovery Channel would teach me something useful in survival!”

You then stood up while planting the torch on ground.

You then dig into your pockets to see if you have anything of use.  You throw everything you have to the ground.  You also unbuckle a machete from your side and plant it firmly into the ground sheathed.

“Let’s see, what do I have?”

You pick up your phone and start mashing the screen with your fingers, but it appears no power is available.  You also pick up your phone charger.

“Of course this thing doesn’t work when I need it to.  Beautiful.  Damn thing can’t hold a charge.  So much for GPS tracking.”

After shoving the phone along with your overpriced cheap quality earphones and charger in one of your pockets, you pick up your wallet.  You sift through it and see that you still have some cash, some credit cards, your drivers’ license which apparently is 189 days past the required renewal date, and a picture of you and her together…

“…”

And also that unused condom that never saw the light of day ever since you put it in your wallet all those years ago.  It lives in your wallet like a 300-pound inmate who was unlawfully sentenced to death row living in the segregation unit of the prison.

Foreveralone.jpg

“Just hang in there, buddy.  You’ll see the light of day soon enough.  What else do I have?”
You pick up your machete and unsheathe it.   There is still a fresh coating of blood on it with some blood see some blood seeping out of the sheathe.

“I may need you to stick around a little longer.”

As soon you clean the blood off with your shirt and empty out as much blood out of the scabbard as you can, you sheathe your blade and arm yourself once again.  You then pick up your torch and start making your way through the cave.

“Now then… Where the Hell am I?”  You ask yourself while looking around and noticing the various ruins within the cave.

Upon closer inspection of the ruins, you ran your hand through the walls while touching various faded glyphs and pictures on the wall.

“Huh…  What’s this?”  You said with a confused look on your face.

On the wall, you saw drawings of 2 horses, one colored pink with the sun on its side and a dark blue pony with the moon on its own side.  You also saw a faded drawing next it which appeared to be a map.  Upon closer inspection, you narrowed your eyes and read aloud the first word that caught your eye.

“E-..  Eque-…  Stria…  Equestria?”  You said with a confused look on your face.  “What part of the world is this “Equestria” located in?  Also, what kind of land is this?  I’ve never seen this patch of land anywhere on any map.”

You continued to make your way down the cave wandering aimlessly in some direction to hopefully find a way out.  Your primary concern at the moment was just to recover and survive.

“First things first.  Food, water, and a geographical location.”


You continued making your way through the cave while reading some of the writings and inspecting some of the drawings on the wall.  A lot of the artwork you noticed seemed pretty old and full of…  Ponies and mythical creatures.  It seemed rather odd to you, but there were other things on your mind.

Unfortunately for you, you had reached a dead end.

“End of the road, I guess.”  You said in a dull voice.  “Now where do I go?  Looks like I’m going to have to make a path.  In that case…”

You brought your palm to the wall and took a deep breath.  Suddenly, a violent force erupted from your hand and shattered the stone wall before you.  Even if you were able to make a hole in the wall, there was still a layer of rock and earth that stood before you.  You then grabbed your arm in pain and massaged it while trying to ease the impact on your arm.

“Shit!  I’m still weak.  I better be a little more careful about this.”

You then continued looking around for a better direction to follow.  Your focus was now on the ceiling.

“I wonder if I’m beneath the earth’s crust or inside a mountain…  Looks like the only way to go is up!”
You then faced your right palm toward the ceiling while placing your left hand on your forearm.  A small gust of air started gathering in your right arm and started to gradually grow.  As the small collection of air, energy and force started growing within your palm, you fired directly to the ceiling.

“This should do it…”  He said while focusing on the ceiling.

Your projectile pierced the ceiling like a drill and continued to move through the dirt and rock effortlessly.

“C’mon…  C’mon…  Let there be light, a way out, something!”  You said as you watched your projectile continue penetrating the earth.

“Any minute now…  That thing should go off in about a few seco-“

**BOOOOOMM!**

The collection of force you threw in to the ceiling erupted violently within the earth and caused the ground to shake.  It was strong enough for you to almost lose your balance.  The ceiling of the cave then started to collapse.  Rocks and boulders immediately covered the area of where you once came from.  More rocks and small boulders started raining from the top.

“Oh shit!  There’s too much falling!”

You then brought your palms facing upward and started deflecting and shattering the rocks that were falling from the ceiling.  As you desperately tried fighting of the rocks attempting to crush you, the fatigue and wounds from your previous skirmish was rearing its ugly head.

“Damnit!  Why now!?  Can’t…  Give… Up…. Not… Yet…”

You could feel the fatigue taking over your body and slowing you down.  The pain from your wounds were now becoming more distracting and your focus was now starting to become lost.  Luckily for you, the shower of boulders and rocks started to slow down and all that was falling was dirt.  You then started creating another collection of force in your right hand.

“I hope I’m getting close.  One more should do the trick!”

You hurled another collection of force towards the same spot hoping this time it would penetrate through top and that some light would be visible.  As you brought your ear up to the air, you could still hear your projectile penetrating through the ceiling.  Suddenly faint light had shined upon you through the top.  It wasn’t very bright, but it was still a sign that there was a way out.  You could also hear your projectile going off in the air in the distance.

“Yes!  Looks like there’s a way out!  I better move before something covers it or falls on me.”

You then pointed your palms to the ground while bending your knees and shot a violent force to the ground causing yourself to be launched upward past the ceiling.  You then manage to get a grip on the side and start climbing your way up and out like a ninja warrior contestant.  As you continue climbing up, the light starts becoming brighter and brighter.  Eventually, you reached the top and made your way out of the hole.  You crawl out of the hole and collapse on your back while breathing heavily while staring at the bright blue sky.

“Yes!  Thank you, God!  That takes care of that problem!  Now to find some food and water.  After that, I gotta start another fire and some shelter.”

You then brought your palm to the ground using force to move the dirt to cover the hole you just made so no one else would fall in.  You then took notice of your surroundings and saw that you were in some kind of forest.  The leaves of the forest were an unusual dark shade of green and there were almost no signs of light penetrating the forest except for the hole he made with your projectile.  Exotic and unseen plant life surrounded you that of which you have never seen before.

You decided to wander into the forest once again collecting materials to build a fire.  After collecting materials for a bonfire, your stomach growled immensely.  The hunger pangs you experiencing were nearly immobilizing you.

“I wonder if there’s anything in this forest I can eat…”

As you roamed the forest aimlessly chopping down any vegetation that stands in your way, you then noticed something in the bushes rustling.  As you readied your palm for a kill, a chicken head stuck out the bushes.

“Looks like rotisserie chicken is on the menu tonight!”  You said with your eyes lighting up and tongue sticking out while salivating.

As you stepped in for the kill, the chicken stepped out of the bushes in front of you only to reveal that it was not indeed a chicken.  It had the head of a chicken but the body of which appeared to be of a…  Dragon.  You stood there for a moment while staring blankly at the odd form of life that stood before you.

“What…  In… The…  Blue…  Hell….?”  You said while still in shock and confusion.

The eyes of the cockatrice then started to glow red and started targeting you to turn into stone.  As the cockatrice started moving in, you shook your head and charged towards what you believed to be a figment of your imagination.  The cockatrice wasn’t expecting your advancement and was caught off guard.  You then picked it up by the tail and held it in the air.

“I must be hallucinating too much from hunger.”  You said while holding the cockatrice upside down.
“I don’t know what perversion of nature you’re supposed to be, but I sure as Hell hope you taste like a chicken.”  You said while dragging the dragon bird hybrid back to the fire and unsheathing your machete.

As soon as you spoke these words the cockatrice then started to flail its wings and started flapping like crazy to escape with feathers scattering all over the place.  The cockatrice then saw the rotisserie skewer set up over the fire and knew who it was meant for.  The cockatrice then started to squak and cluck in fear.

“Sorry little buddy, survival of the fittest.”  You said while holding it upside down and gently running your blade beside its throat.   “You just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.  I promise that your death will be quick and that it will not be in vain.  Your death will go towards some things very important; my survival, well-being, and hunger.”

The cockatrice then bit your nose.  You yelled in pain as you grabbed your nose and the cockatrice then started to dash as fast as he could and far away from you as fast as possible.

“You little shit!”  You yell while trying to chase after the cockatrice.

As you try to keep up with it, the hybrid then turns around while running away from you and starts sticking its tongue at you then immediately dashes in a random direction while trying to lose you.

“If I ever catch you, I’m going to kill you all kinds of dead!”

As you try to speed up your pace, you trip over a rock and your face lands face first into onto another rock which proved to be rather unforgiving.  The impact to your head causes you to start losing consciousness.  Combined with a period of malnutrition and injuries, it doesn’t take long for you to start passing out.  As your eyes begin to flutter, you can hear voices off into the distance.  You are still skeptical of signaling for help and still on edge of being hunted down by other conduits or anti-conduits.

“I heard it from over here, Captain!”  A voice yells from the distance.

Screw it.  You needed help, but your ego was saying otherwise.  With the last ounce of strength you have left, you put your palm up to a nearby tree and force it down with an impact hoping the sound of the tree falling would signal to others around to save you.

You then hear what sounds like some horses galloping to your direction and it continues to become louder.  As you see two silhouettes in the distance, you raise your hand in the air and your vision starts to fade.  You feel every muscle in your body starting to fail on you and can barely lift up a finger.  Your audible sense still appears to be working but that too is starting to fail.  As you drop your hand, you hear and feel the presence of what was hopefully your rescue party you can only hope for the best.

“No…  It cannot be…  It’s not possible!  They’re not supposed to exist!”  One of them spoke.

“Mother of Celestia!”  The other had spoken.  “Captain, what is this…  Thing!?”

The conversation between the two then start to become incoherent as you start losing your grip on reality and the world.

You awaken several moments later caused by a gentle rocking as you are barely able to open your eyes.  You notice that you are moving while being carried by the back of a small horse with a sun-like marking on its flank.  What strikes you with fear is that your legs are tied up and your hands are tied behind your back as well.  Your mouth is also bound and gagged.  Your audible senses return and so do your sight.

You hear their conversation.

“Hahaha!  Fat Flank!  That’s a good one, Soldier!  With the way Princess Celestia eats sugar cubes, it’s gotta be pretty hard to hide that thing!”  One of them said while the both of them let out a boisterous laugh.

“Yeah!  And Princess Luna is getting kind of big also!  She might be letting herself go!  Her flank is getting kinda huge as well!  But hey, it’s not always a bad thing now is it, Captain?”  The other replied while letting out a chuckle.

“Hmm…  Princess?  A monarchy system runs this place wherever I am…  Must be somewhere in Europe.  How'd I end up all the way here?  Fuck if I know.  Wasn't I just in America?”  You thought.  It was just hurting to be conscious at the moment.

“What’s going happen when we take this…  thing… back to Canterlot?”  One of the voices spoke.

“They’re probably going to throw it into solitary confinement.  It’s going to have its own special cell when they lock it up and study it.  It’ll be getting the “special” treatment when it gets back.”

“A little brash, don’t you think?  It seems to be in pretty bad shape.  Shouldn’t we help it first?”

“We don’t know what it’s capable of or what it can do to us.  We also don’t know whether it is hostile or friendly.  He’ll be judged before Fat-Flank…  Err…  I mean Princess Celestia herself.  She does sorta have a knack for this kind of thing”

Canter…  Lot?  Whatever.  You didn't care what third world hellhole of a prison awaited you.  Hopefully they would provide food and water so at least you wouldn't have to go hunt it yourself.  And right now a ceiling or roof over your head sounds about nice, even if it was in a isolated cell.  Or even some kind of dungeon.

As you turn your head to the direction you are traveling you notice something peculiar.  The only things you see is a white colt carrying you while wearing some kind of roman-designed armor and another colt next to it wearing the same thing.  You don’t seem to see the owners or riders of the horses anywhere, but you can barely hear a conversation being carried on.

And what did they mean by “it”?  Are they referring to you?  Apparently this land, country village, or wherever the Hell you are at the moment seems to give little concern or complete disregard to human rights.

Or towards conduits.

You’ll probably be asked to rub copious amounts of lotion on your skin repeatedly while getting some kind of water torture when you disobey and living in a hole.  The rhythmic trotting while being held with your head down and bent over starts causing you to lose consciousness once again as blood starts to  rush into your head.  You pass out again.

You awaken once again, but this time your hands, ankles, and throat have a metal cuff with chains attached to them and to the wall.  The walls that surrounded you are made of steel with no outsude light except for candles that dimly light your cell.  The ground is made of hard stone and you notice that you are sitting on a pile of hay with a cloth covered.  Even for a prison cell, it looked kind of.. cartoonish yet cozy.  As you sit upright leaning against the wall and you rub your head while trying to regain your composure.  You seem to be somewhat rested, but you don’t know how long you’ve been out.  You’re still hungry as Holy Hell.  But luckily for you, you see some bowls up ahead filled with something.  You walk as far as your chains will allow you to and try to reach the collection of bowls before you.  Still out of your reach, you carefully manipulate force to slowly draw in the collection of food towards yourself.  Upon your inspection, you see a bowl of dried oats, a bowl of water, some apples, and oddly enough, cupcakes with little to no frosting.  You pour some water into the bowl of oats but can’t seem to find any utensils.  You don’t care.  You just mix it with your hand and start scooping it into your mouth while trying to shovel it down your stomach as fast as you can.  You bite your finger occasionally, but your hunger is controlling your mind and bodily functions and pain wasn’t registering.  After finishing your bowl of raw and cold oatmeal, you toss the bowls aside and start taking an apple in each hand and start chomping on each one.  You are so hungry, that you wouldn’t care if there were any worms in them.  And even if you did eat any, at least you had some sort of source for protein.

Whatever.  More calories for you.

After ravaging through the apples and nearly eating the core, stem, and seeds, you start eating the cupcakes and nearly consumed the paper wrapping.  As you set a record time eating your food you then start gulping the entire bowl of water and nearly drowning choking while pouring more water than your throat can handle.  As you toss the bowl aside and catch your breath, you start resting up a bit.

“Not bad, I guess.  Although, a little protein and something fatty would hit the spot right about now.
After eating all of those carbs, I’m just gonna be hungry again.”  You say while inspecting your cell.

How the Hell can you be picky about your food at a time like this?  But then again, you’ve been through worse.  At least they have the decency to feed you.  As you continue to rest, you inspect your current state of health and any other conditions you may have.  Your midsection is still injured, but you notice something strange. The dried blood on your body has been cleaned off and your midsection is wrapped in bandages, but there is some pain still present.  Luckily it didn’t feel like anything is broken there, but it still hurts like Hell.  Any cuts or bruises on your body have been covered also with bandages and you can smell some type of disinfectant off your bandages.

You’re still not 100% yet, but with enough food and rest, you’ll make it through.  You contemplate breaking out of jail, but being the cautious man you are, you’d better not risk it.  You have no idea where you are and in no condition to fight.  You are also missing your stuff and you are feeling quite naked without it.

“Well, at least they treat their prisoners with some kind of dignity.  Free medical care, a roof over my head, and a meal a day…  I’ve got it made!  But still…  Where exactly is ‘here’?”  You think to yourself while deciding your next course of action.  “I’ll figure that out in a few hours.  I better just sleep some more.”

After fluffing your bed of hay you flop over and burying yourself under the stack of hay, you close your eyes.  But as your eyes drift, you hear a loud clicking sound followed by what sounded like a system of gears and locks working.  It proceeds to become progressively louder.  Voices can also be heard from afar and continue to become more clear and distinct.

Looks like someone’s coming for you.

“Damn, already?  I was just getting cozy.”