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  1. [6/29/2013 4:31:53 PM] Dalek Divisio: Item #: SCP-1843
  2.  
  3. Object class: Safe, but with potential to be re-classified as keter under special circumstances.
  4.  
  5. Special Containment Procedures: At this time, SCP-1843 has no need for containment and is free to roam any areas of the Foundation that are not restricted to his personnel level. SCP-1843 is currently a member of the Foundation and has been promoted to level five security clearance due to his beneficial work with keter-level SCP objects. Lacking any threat to the security and/or safety of the Foundation, its staff, and external life, SCP-1843 will remain classified as safe and will not require containment unless and until he is deemed a threat to the facility.
  6.  
  7. Description: SCP-1843 is a Caucasian male, estimated to be in his early twenties but for the time he has been at the facility, has never shown any signs of aging. He refers to himself as “Dave Strider” and apparently has no memories of his parents, although he often mentions at one point having an older “Bro”. SCP-1843 is capable of manipulating time in multiple ways, such as freezing it for everyone except himself and those he is making skin contact with, traveling into the past and future (again, passengers can tag along, though it is more difficult for him to travel the more passengers he has), and evidently slowing down the aging process, if not stopping it altogether.
  8. When altering time, it is important to note that all time loops must be closed and stable in order to prevent temporal anomalies. SCP-1843 has had zero incidences recorded where temporal anomalies have been caused by what he refers to as “time shenanigans”, however, that does not mean that they cannot occur in the future. Although his probability of damaging the time-stream is low, it still exists, and therefore his “time shenanigans” must be monitored closely.
  9.  
  10.  
  11. "Trust me, you don't want to continue crossing this line. And if you keep crossing it, you're going to have to invent a new containment class just for me, because I can promise you that ‘keter’ won't be high enough." - SCP-1843 on the subject of [REDACTED].
  12. [6/29/2013 4:33:42 PM] Dalek Divisio: (sorry phone call, getting Karkat's)
  13. [6/29/2013 4:33:50 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: aw ye
  14. [6/29/2013 4:33:57 PM] Dalek Divisio: Item #: SCP-1629
  15.  
  16. Object Class: Keter
  17.  
  18. Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1629 must be enclosed in a containment unit large enough to accommodate a small adult human and strong enough to contain an enraged rhinoceros. Chain cuffs may be used to restrain SCP-1629, although it is not necessary unless any personnel is present within the room. Restraining SCP-1629 may be done by allowing no less than five D-class personnel members to sedate and cuff him. If provoked, SCP-1629 is able to break the cuffs after sedation wears off. After the incident with Dr. [REDACTED], it is recommended that only D-class staff members enter SCP-1629’s chamber. Higher level Foundation members are prohibited from entering the containment unit or attempting to communicate with SCP-1629, as human interaction causes a state of rage.
  19.  
  20. Description: SCP-1629 is a gray, horned, humanoid male who refuses to give a name and refers to himself simply as “1629”. Scarce information on his species has been given to the Foundation, although he has insisted that he is a “troll”. Based on its limited knowledge about trolls, the Foundation has no choice but to take SCP-1629’s word until a new definition of “troll” disproves his claims. SCP-1629 shows incredible strength and agility, and is seemingly unable to die permanently. SCP-1629 has proven to be as intelligent as humans, and occasionally displays a cynical sense of humor in an attempt to intimidate personnel . SCP-1629 appears to hold a grudge against the Foundation since [DATA EXPUNGED], even threatening to destroy the entire facility while laying out in detail his plans to cause catastrophic security breaches.
  21. SCP-1629 has successfully escaped on [REDACTED] occasions, causing the deaths of [REDACTED] members. In case of a containment breach, SCP-1629 is to be immediately re-captured, sedated, and re-detained by all available Mobile Task Forces.
  22. SCP-1629 was found in [DATA EXPUNGED] by [DATA EXPUNGED] and was brought to the Foundation. He was originally [DATA EXPUNGED] until [DATA EXPUNGED] caused him to [DATA EXPUNGED]. Many details in the files of SCP-1629 have mysteriously gone missing, which may or may not be related to the incident with Dr. [REDACTED].
  23. [6/29/2013 4:34:54 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: this is super cool
  24. [6/29/2013 4:34:59 PM] Dalek Divisio: I'm having a lot of fun
  25. [6/29/2013 4:35:04 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i'll have to look into scp most definitely
  26. [6/29/2013 4:35:30 PM] Dalek Divisio: I had a little thing written but I deleted it because I changed a lot of details since I started on it and I decided I'd just start over as opposed to trying to salvage anything from it
  27. [6/29/2013 4:35:48 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i do that sometimes
  28. [6/29/2013 4:35:59 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: but yeah wow this looks intense
  29. [6/29/2013 4:36:00 PM] Dalek Divisio: when you look into the SCP Foundation, be careful
  30. [6/29/2013 4:36:06 PM] Dalek Divisio: there are a LOT of creepypasta articles
  31. [6/29/2013 4:36:11 PM] Dalek Divisio: and a few that are just unsettling
  32. [6/29/2013 4:36:19 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i have no idea what creepypasta means
  33. [6/29/2013 4:36:26 PM] Dalek Divisio: uh
  34. [6/29/2013 4:36:28 PM] Dalek Divisio: basically like
  35. [6/29/2013 4:36:34 PM] Dalek Divisio: nightmare fuel
  36. [6/29/2013 4:36:37 PM] Dalek Divisio: sublime nightmare fuel
  37. [6/29/2013 4:36:38 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: ah ha
  38. [6/29/2013 4:36:42 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: okay
  39. [6/29/2013 4:37:02 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i have the ability to nope out of a web page so hopefully this won't be a problem
  40. [6/29/2013 4:37:17 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: memo to self: do not read at night before going to bed or multiple at the same time
  41. [6/29/2013 4:37:21 PM] Dalek Divisio: let me see if I can find a few numbers for you to definitely stay away from
  42. [6/29/2013 4:37:39 PM] Dalek Divisio: definitely avoid 173
  43. [6/29/2013 4:37:53 PM] Dalek Divisio: although just the picture is scary, but for the most part it's a violent weeping angel
  44. [6/29/2013 4:38:03 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: ah
  45. [6/29/2013 4:38:24 PM] Dalek Divisio: avoid 231
  46. [6/29/2013 4:38:31 PM] Dalek Divisio: it's the most popular keter one
  47. [6/29/2013 4:38:38 PM] Dalek Divisio: not creepy but really really disgustingly unsettling
  48. [6/29/2013 4:38:42 PM] Dalek Divisio: lot of triggers
  49. [6/29/2013 4:38:58 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i have more squicks than triggers but okay
  50. [6/29/2013 4:39:05 PM] Dalek Divisio: uh it's
  51. [6/29/2013 4:39:07 PM] Dalek Divisio: rape related
  52. [6/29/2013 4:39:45 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: still just a squick and also probably anger inducing but fortunately it is not a trigger o__o
  53. [6/29/2013 4:40:05 PM] Dalek Divisio: yeah kind of regret reading the entire page
  54. [6/29/2013 4:40:14 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: but thank you for the warning
  55. [6/29/2013 4:40:15 PM] Dalek Divisio: because it's censored just enough that you have a vague idea of what's going on
  56. [6/29/2013 4:40:41 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: aight
  57. [6/29/2013 4:40:52 PM] Dalek Divisio: for the most part, the keter ones are the scary ones, but not all of them are scary?
  58. [6/29/2013 4:41:03 PM] Dalek Divisio: if you want I can explain what keter means
  59. [6/29/2013 4:41:08 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: yes please!
  60. [6/29/2013 4:41:16 PM] Dalek Divisio: okay well there are three containment classes
  61. [6/29/2013 4:41:21 PM] Dalek Divisio: keter is the highest
  62. [6/29/2013 4:41:50 PM] Dalek Divisio: a keter object is both dangerous to humanity and/or the timeline and also cannot be destroyed
  63. [6/29/2013 4:41:57 PM] Dalek Divisio: it's also hard to contain and capture
  64. [6/29/2013 4:42:17 PM] Dalek Divisio: oh here we go
  65. [6/29/2013 4:42:18 PM] Dalek Divisio: http://www.scp-wiki.net/keter
  66. [6/29/2013 4:42:55 PM] Dalek Divisio: euclid is next highest
  67. [6/29/2013 4:43:05 PM] Dalek Divisio: http://www.scp-wiki.net/euclid
  68. [6/29/2013 4:43:26 PM] Dalek Divisio: and then you have safe which is not really harmful or is easy to contain/doesn't move too much
  69. [6/29/2013 4:43:26 PM] Dalek Divisio: http://www.scp-wiki.net/safe
  70. [6/29/2013 4:44:36 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: there was a livejournal group i cam across once with a bunch of characters from different fandoms having to compete in these missions in a facility and this kinda reminds me of it
  71. [6/29/2013 4:44:47 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: except for the fact that these are original ideas
  72. [6/29/2013 4:44:55 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: and also i doubt they have roommates
  73. [6/29/2013 4:45:04 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: hmmm
  74. [6/29/2013 4:45:12 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: anyway, i will look into this!
  75. [6/29/2013 4:45:14 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: thank you
  76. [6/29/2013 4:45:16 PM] Dalek Divisio: okay!
  77. [6/29/2013 4:45:29 PM] Dalek Divisio: I'll give you a few of my favorite SCP articles to read at your leisure if you'd like?
  78. [6/29/2013 4:45:35 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: sure!
  79. [6/29/2013 4:46:08 PM] Dalek Divisio: okay this one is keter but I love its idea
  80. [6/29/2013 4:46:09 PM] Dalek Divisio: http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682
  81. [6/29/2013 4:46:31 PM] Dalek Divisio: this one is safe but DOES have some squickiness in some of its logs so be careful
  82. [6/29/2013 4:46:31 PM] Dalek Divisio: http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-261
  83. [6/29/2013 4:48:02 PM] Dalek Divisio: http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1370
  84. [6/29/2013 4:48:03 PM] Dalek Divisio: this one is just adorable
  85. [6/29/2013 4:48:12 PM] Dalek Divisio: there is nothing bad about this article
  86. [6/29/2013 4:48:49 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: yeeee
  87. [6/29/2013 4:58:25 PM] Dalek Divisio: He continuously wears a pair of black aviators, which he refuses to take off for any reason. It is not certain why he does this or if it has any real significance.
  88. [6/29/2013 4:58:27 PM] Dalek Divisio: I added that to Dave's bio
  89. [6/29/2013 4:59:50 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: for some reason i read that as pink aviators and i was like, "why pink? trickster dave???? but i thought they were green??? oh wait"
  90. [6/29/2013 5:00:03 PM] Dalek Divisio: omfg
  91. [6/29/2013 5:00:10 PM] Dalek Divisio: yes pink aviators
  92. [6/29/2013 5:00:32 PM] Dalek Divisio: okay i'm gonna make a group for this so I can tell you and butts my ideas at the same time
  93. [6/29/2013 5:00:53 PM] *** Dalek Divisio added eren's butt ***
  94. [6/29/2013 5:01:07 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: dun dun DUUUUUUN
  95. [6/29/2013 5:01:10 PM] Dalek Divisio: okay so the thing with the shades is actually a plot point later on
  96. [6/29/2013 5:01:10 PM] did someone say butts: Oooooo! the perfect crime
  97. [6/29/2013 5:01:34 PM] Dalek Divisio: at one point he does take them off while in Karkat's containment unit
  98. [6/29/2013 5:02:05 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: insert previous comment here
  99. [6/29/2013 5:02:13 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: with dramatic music
  100. [6/29/2013 5:02:18 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: and twilight zone noises
  101. [6/29/2013 5:02:21 PM] Dalek Divisio: he gets Jade to do a lot of favors for him
  102. [6/29/2013 5:02:35 PM] Dalek Divisio: mostly letting him into Karkat's cell and making sure their conversations aren't documented
  103. [6/29/2013 5:04:05 PM] Dalek Divisio: oh man what if their solution for Karkat was just to keep Dave around
  104. [6/29/2013 5:04:07 PM] Dalek Divisio: moirails!
  105. [6/29/2013 5:04:14 PM] Dalek Divisio: he keeps Karkat calm and therefore "safe"
  106. [6/29/2013 5:04:34 PM] did someone say butts: oooh, how cute!
  107. [6/29/2013 5:04:38 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: dawwww
  108. [6/29/2013 5:05:16 PM] Dalek Divisio: I don't know if you were around for this, Toro, but all of the EXPUNGED DATA in Karkat's bio is something that actually happened too
  109. [6/29/2013 5:05:41 PM] Dalek Divisio: Karkat was originally a volunteer SCP object and was also originally classified as safe
  110. [6/29/2013 5:06:11 PM] Dalek Divisio: but he found out that some of the foundation's methods of dealing with keter classes and their experiments in general were cruel and inhumane
  111. [6/29/2013 5:06:35 PM] Dalek Divisio: he snapped when one of his friends was involved (haven't decided who yet, might choose Kanaya) and killed a few scientists who were part of the problem
  112. [6/29/2013 5:06:56 PM] Dalek Divisio: they decided then that he was keter class and locked him up
  113. [6/29/2013 5:07:18 PM] Dalek Divisio: didn't help that they started the same cruel experiments Karkat was protesting on him
  114. [6/29/2013 5:07:32 PM] Dalek Divisio: so basically he goes into a murderous rage any time a staff member enters his chamber
  115. [6/29/2013 5:07:38 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i read that in the backlogs but it's nice to have it all in one place
  116. [6/29/2013 5:07:41 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: UuU
  117. [6/29/2013 5:07:46 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: but poor karkat
  118. [6/29/2013 5:07:49 PM] Dalek Divisio: yeah
  119. [6/29/2013 5:08:06 PM] did someone say butts: ooh, thats sad but really cool, poor bby karkat though ;-;
  120. [6/29/2013 5:08:15 PM] Dalek Divisio: also, so they could make Karkat look like the monster instead of themselves, some of the doctors involved decided to erase Karkat's benevolent history
  121. [6/29/2013 5:08:50 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: on noooo
  122. [6/29/2013 5:09:01 PM] Dalek Divisio: that's why there are files missing and why Dave's confused as all hell about Karkat
  123. [6/29/2013 5:09:19 PM] Dalek Divisio: he took an interest in Karkat's file in particular
  124. [6/29/2013 5:09:36 PM] Dalek Divisio: mostly because he couldn't figure out what had happened before
  125. [6/29/2013 5:09:53 PM] Dalek Divisio: actually he kind of starts to question if the same thing happened with 682
  126. [6/29/2013 5:10:12 PM] Dalek Divisio: when he finds out from Karkat what really happened
  127. [6/29/2013 5:16:03 PM] Dalek Divisio: omfg
  128. [6/29/2013 5:16:23 PM] Dalek Divisio: the idiots at the foundation tried to get rid of 682 by cutting him in half with a laser
  129. [6/29/2013 5:16:33 PM] Dalek Divisio: well both halves regenerated which gave them
  130. [6/29/2013 5:16:35 PM] Dalek Divisio: you guessed it
  131. [6/29/2013 5:16:38 PM] Dalek Divisio: TWO 682s
  132. [6/29/2013 5:17:04 PM] Dalek Divisio: one of them ate the other so it's cool but STILL
  133. [6/29/2013 5:17:06 PM] did someone say butts: omg thats the best thing ive heard all day how stupid can you get omg
  134. [6/29/2013 5:18:13 PM] Dalek Divisio: someone proposed trying a thermonuclear bomb
  135. [6/29/2013 5:18:15 PM] Dalek Divisio: this is the result
  136. [6/29/2013 5:18:17 PM] Dalek Divisio: Item: 60 MT thermonuclear bomb
  137.  
  138. Tissue Test Record:
  139. None
  140.  
  141. Termination Test Record:
  142. Testing denied by O5-█
  143.  
  144. Notes: One would think that putting SCP-682 in the epicenter of an explosion that can cause third-degree burns at a distance of 300 km is a good idea, but as long as there are odds of survival we simply cannot go through with it. Yes, it's a goddamn nuke, but if 682 survives and adapts we'd be boned beyond belief. O5-█
  145. [6/29/2013 5:19:07 PM] did someone say butts: omg they really want to kill that thing
  146. [6/29/2013 5:19:27 PM] Dalek Divisio: he's capable of destroying all life
  147. [6/29/2013 5:19:37 PM] Dalek Divisio: he can also regenerate and adapt to any circumstances
  148. [6/29/2013 5:19:40 PM] Dalek Divisio: you'd want him dead too
  149. [6/29/2013 5:20:46 PM] did someone say butts: if they just keep him in asid, but wouldnt he be able to adapt to survive in that? and in his little cell thing
  150. [6/29/2013 5:21:29 PM] Dalek Divisio: well he can't adapt WHILE he's regenerating I think
  151. [6/29/2013 5:21:33 PM] Dalek Divisio: the acid drains him
  152. [6/29/2013 5:22:26 PM | Edited 5:22:30 PM] did someone say butts: that would make sense, he's pretty terrorfing, I think a talk with kankri would strighten him out though
  153. [6/29/2013 5:24:54 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i have n oi dea who this guy is but i can imagine kankri as one of the testors or faculty
  154. [6/29/2013 5:25:02 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: whatever they're called there
  155. [6/29/2013 5:25:04 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪ is a noob
  156. [6/29/2013 5:25:38 PM] Dalek Divisio: yes
  157. [6/29/2013 5:25:46 PM] Dalek Divisio: 682 is basically a large, indestructible lizard
  158. [6/29/2013 5:25:52 PM] Dalek Divisio: capable of adapting
  159. [6/29/2013 5:25:55 PM] Dalek Divisio: also he hates every form of life
  160. [6/29/2013 5:26:03 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: goooot it
  161. [6/29/2013 5:26:07 PM] did someone say butts: thats him in a nutshell! and he likes killing things too
  162. [6/29/2013 5:34:57 PM] did someone say butts: oooh, there's a cute little scp about a toothbrush, I like this one
  163. [6/29/2013 5:35:10 PM] Dalek Divisio: oh yes I think I saw that one
  164. [6/29/2013 6:23:54 PM] Dalek Divisio: my boyfriend just suggested that we have the warhammer of zillyhoo be an SCP object
  165. [6/29/2013 6:24:16 PM] did someone say butts: omg thats perf
  166. [6/29/2013 6:24:21 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: very yes
  167. [6/29/2013 6:24:36 PM] Dalek Divisio: he's going to write the article himself
  168. [6/29/2013 6:24:36 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: can sburb be one too
  169. [6/29/2013 6:24:50 PM] Dalek Divisio: sburb's not really an object so much as it is an event
  170. [6/29/2013 6:24:56 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: no, it's a game
  171. [6/29/2013 6:25:02 PM] Dalek Divisio: but I'm debating whether or not to have the boys remember SBURB
  172. [6/29/2013 6:25:23 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: wait is this an offshoot where this is a world thye created after sburb?
  173. [6/29/2013 6:25:39 PM] Dalek Divisio: could be
  174. [6/29/2013 6:25:47 PM] Dalek Divisio: no one knows what SCP-001 is
  175. [6/29/2013 6:25:52 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i was just thinking like they mention it once and everyone is like, "haha oh sburb" and then continue on with life
  176. [6/29/2013 6:25:53 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: oh
  177. [6/29/2013 6:25:56 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: hmmm
  178. [6/29/2013 6:26:37 PM] Dalek Divisio: the general rule for 001 is that it is what caused the foundation to be created
  179. [6/29/2013 6:26:42 PM] Dalek Divisio: or causes the SCPs to exist
  180. [6/29/2013 6:27:08 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: but how can you create it
  181. [6/29/2013 6:27:13 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: IF IT ALREADY EXISTED
  182. [6/29/2013 6:27:24 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪ is bricked
  183. [6/29/2013 6:27:28 PM] Dalek Divisio: omfg
  184. [6/29/2013 6:27:29 PM] Dalek Divisio: murders
  185. [6/29/2013 6:35:45 PM] Dalek Divisio: so I realized that there's no reason for Karkat to be keter class if he can easily be contained
  186. [6/29/2013 6:36:10 PM] Dalek Divisio: except that the facility faked him into keter class and then expunged enough details that you can't really question it
  187. [6/29/2013 6:36:17 PM] Dalek Divisio: which is why Dave's so confused
  188. [6/29/2013 6:36:32 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: ah ha
  189. [6/29/2013 6:36:48 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: none of his abilities are listed, are they?
  190. [6/29/2013 6:36:56 PM] Dalek Divisio: just that he has strength and agility
  191. [6/29/2013 6:37:25 PM] Dalek Divisio: but literally the only stipulation for containing him is a big room strong enough to hold a rhino
  192. [6/29/2013 6:37:37 PM] Dalek Divisio: which is way lower security than any other keter class
  193. [6/29/2013 6:38:37 PM] Dalek Divisio: but with the expunged data, they imply that he escaped and killed tons of people when in reality he got out like once when someone opened the door and killed maybe like four people
  194. [6/29/2013 6:38:57 PM] Dalek Divisio: and those four people were killed when he was defending his friend and himself
  195. [6/29/2013 6:39:33 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: wow, yeah, the description makes it sound a lot worse than it is
  196. [6/29/2013 6:39:47 PM] Dalek Divisio: exactly
  197. [6/29/2013 6:40:51 PM] Dalek Divisio: poor baby
  198. [7/3/2013 2:51:16 PM] Dalek Divisio: butts asked me to put some of the newer stuff I've written here
  199. [7/3/2013 2:51:28 PM] Dalek Divisio: some notes that I've added to Dave's file
  200. [7/3/2013 2:51:30 PM] Dalek Divisio: Notes: SCP-1843 has shown much potential as boyfriend material and Dr. Harley is advised to date him immediately, preferably at an Olive Garden or equivalent Italian restaurant.
  201.  
  202. Notes: Stop editing your file, Strider. I’m not dating you. Furthermore, let it be noted that Olive Garden is not a real Italian restaurant. - Dr. Harley.
  203.  
  204. Notes: SCP-1843 wants to make it perfectly clear that any restaurant with endless breadsticks has earned its stripes and can play with the big kids.
  205.  
  206. Notes: SCP-1843 and Dr. Harley will both be terminated if they don’t stop passing love letters via official documents.
  207. [7/3/2013 2:52:17 PM] Dalek Divisio: the Warhammer of Zillyhoo's file
  208. [7/3/2013 2:52:19 PM] Dalek Divisio: Item #: SCP-ZZZZ
  209.  
  210. Object Class: Euclid
  211.  
  212. Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ZZZZ is to be utilized only by staff members with Level 2 security clearance or higher, and said staff members may only be assisted by D-Class personnel during the usage of SCP-ZZZZ.
  213.  
  214. Description: SCP-ZZZZ is a garishly colored, large, square-headed warhammer with an accessory of a smiling face and an emblematic “Z” etched into the side. The colors of the hammer are bright primary colors, making the hammer appear as a child's toy. The hammer is close to 1 meter in length, and the head of the hammer is roughly 0.3m x 0.3m. Those who have picked up SCP-ZZZZ have described it as being much lighter than it appears, and it is possible to wield SCP-ZZZZ with a single hand, despite the length of its grip and the size of the hammer itself.
  215.  
  216. When SCP-ZZZZ is picked up by any human being, background noise such as electronics and ventilation systems are silenced through unknown means. A sound from an equally unknown source will then be heard within the room that SCP-ZZZZ is located, filling the room with equal volume (if SCP-ZZZZ is accessed out-of-doors, the effect has been measured as occurring X miles from the immediate location of SCP-ZZZZ in all directions).The sound which replaces them is a low thumping sound in a rhythmic pattern described as “THUMP-rest-rest-THUMP-THUMP-rest-rest-rest” as if played by a collection of bass drums. After a few repetitions of this rhythmic pattern, a chorus of voices (again from an unknown source) will join in with the rhythm, singing a drawn-out refrain of the words “WARHAMMER OF ZILLYHOO”. (See Audio Log J-ZZZZ-E for an example of this phenomenon.)
  217.  
  218. During the initial rhythmic period, the person who picked up SCP-ZZZZ and all individuals who can hear the rhythm will be stricken with a mental block and rendered unable to move. After the singing begins, those who can hear the music, except for the user, will experience a mental breakdown and begin sobbing, wailing, and/or weeping uncontrollably. Post-testing interviews with D-Class personnel who have been under this influence have consistently expressed an overwhelming sense of “beauty” from SCP-ZZZZ, and when pressed further on the nature of this beauty, have become yet again overwhelmed. This period of lamentation can last anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 days, with subjects refusing to eat or drink during that time, instead focusing all of their energy upon reveling in the “majesty of the Warhammer of Zillyhoo”. Perceiving SCP-ZZZZ after it has been set down does not cause the same effect, and can be used to diminish the effect and duration of the mental breakdown. After the mental breakdown ends, those under its effects will return to perfectly healthy psychological status.
  219.  
  220. SCP-ZZZZ is extraordinarily light to the touch when picked up, but applies a much heavier force than its mass would suggest. It is capable of hurling masses much further than usual when swung, sending a full soda can XX miles with a standard amount of force (similar to a batter's swing in a game of baseball).
  221.  
  222. With this added force in mind, and the fact that the hammer prevents retaliatory aggression through its psychic influence in the music, SCP-ZZZZ has been classified as a Euclid-class item in the event of a security breach.
  223. [7/3/2013 2:52:30 PM] Dalek Divisio: we have a number for it but Jake has it and he's not home
  224. [7/3/2013 2:52:52 PM] Dalek Divisio: log where we've tried to use Zillyhoo against 682
  225. [7/3/2013 2:52:54 PM] Dalek Divisio: Termination Log 682-48
  226. SCP Item Used: SCP-ZZZZ
  227. Notes: Cell created such that SCP-682 would be contained in the same room while a D-Class personnel would have the opportunity to pick up SCP-ZZZZ. Video feed without audio output kept in cell to monitor progress. D-41362 introduced into cell with SCP-ZZZZ, SCP-682 introduced into second half of cell. SCP-682 immediately begins thrashing against barrier between two halves of cell and begins to climb the divider. D-41362 quickly prompted to pick up SCP-ZZZZ. D-41362 successfully does so, and SCP-682 freezes, falling off of the divider. The divider is raised to allow D-41362 to aggress SCP-682 with SCP-ZZZZ. After the initial period of rhythm elapses (as measured on the countdown timer), however, SCP-682 regains mobility. D-41362 attempts to bash SCP-682 over the head with SCP-ZZZZ, fails, and is messily devoured. SCP-682 ignores SCP-ZZZZ, test terminated.
  228.  
  229. The second stage of SCP-ZZZZ's mental assault was most likely ineffective due to the fact that SCP-682 has consistently shown itself incapable of understanding the concept of beauty as humans understand it. The fact that the first stage was successful at incapacitating SCP-682 shows two things: that SCP-ZZZZ's first stage has a different source or at least affects a different part of the brain than the second stage, and that SCP-682 was, at one point, susceptible to purely sonic attacks. Fat chance of that working twice. – Dr. Harley
  230.  
  231. LEVEL 3 SECURITY CLEARANCE REQUIRED
  232.  
  233. A brief post-testing interview with SCP-682 reveals some incredible details as to the nature of SCP-ZZZZ. After ignoring SCP-ZZZZ instead of attempting to destroy it as SCP-682 usually does when testing SCP objects for the purposes of termination, the following interview was conducted about two hours later.
  234.  
  235. Dr. Harley: Hello SCP-682.
  236.  
  237. SCP-682 refuses to answer and grumbles audibly within its holding cell.
  238.  
  239. Dr. Harley: I'd like to ask you a few questions about SCP-ZZZZ.
  240.  
  241. At this point, Dr. Harley shows SCP-682 a picture of SCP-ZZZZ being held by a D-Class personnel. SCP-682 visibly stirs, and points its snout at the viewing screen, apparently “at attention”.
  242.  
  243. Dr. Harley: Why did you choose not to d-
  244.  
  245. SCP-682: You ruined it...
  246.  
  247. Dr. Harley: ...I beg your pardon?
  248.  
  249. SCP-682: It was... beautiful... and you filthy humans ruined it...
  250.  
  251. At this point, SCP-682 began thrashing wildly, roaring and destroying the view screen and all available equipment. The cell was again flooded with acid and the interview was concluded.
  252.  
  253.  
  254. The results of this interview show that while SCP-682 was actually affected by the second stage of SCP-ZZZZ's mental assault, the compulsion to worship SCP-ZZZZ was overpowered by the disdain that SCP-682 continuously feels for the human race. This suggests a few concerning possibilities: 1) SCP-ZZZZ was created by a non-human race whose idea of beauty was similar at least in part to SCP-682's, 2) there may be a way to appeal to SCP-682's twisted concepts of beauty, and 3) the only way for SCP-ZZZZ to fully affect SCP-682 is to find another instance of SCP-682's species, or one like it, and give that creature access to SCP-ZZZZ.
  255.  
  256. Cross-termination testing with SCP-682 and SCP-ZZZZ is highly discouraged. --Dr. Harley
  257. [7/3/2013 2:53:09 PM] Dalek Divisio: I'm not going to post the story here because it's pretty long
  258. [7/3/2013 2:54:21 PM] Dalek Divisio: Toro, you've already read all this, so I apologize for the spam, but I wanted it all in one place
  259. [7/3/2013 2:54:43 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: that's fine
  260. [7/3/2013 2:55:00 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: i take this as permission to ignore you
  261. [7/3/2013 2:55:10 PM] Dalek Divisio: :c
  262. [7/3/2013 2:55:21 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: pffff i'm kidding
  263. [7/3/2013 2:55:34 PM] Dalek Divisio: :C
  264. [7/3/2013 2:58:13 PM | Edited 2:58:14 PM] did someone say butts: 1q3tukmcgtyiokbgh?@~:[]
  265. [7/3/2013 2:58:29 PM] did someone say butts: omg
  266. [7/3/2013 2:58:31 PM] did someone say butts: sorry
  267. [7/3/2013 2:58:36 PM] did someone say butts: i was cleaning my keyboard
  268. [7/3/2013 2:58:38 PM] did someone say butts: laughs
  269. [7/3/2013 2:59:00 PM] did someone say butts: shh no that was some pretty rad scping
  270. [7/3/2013 2:59:31 PM] Dalek Divisio: c:
  271. [7/3/2013 2:59:39 PM] Intoro ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: looks like the end of a google search url
  272. [7/3/2013 2:59:57 PM] Dalek Divisio: omg
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