Want more features on Pastebin? Sign Up, it's FREE!
Guest

homestuck futa

By: a guest on Oct 26th, 2011  |  syntax: None  |  size: 24.68 KB  |  views: 1,285  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. Dave Strider was so fucking cool.
  2.  
  3. He had gifted the trolls with his majestic presence for about 3 days and the Veil had erupted into what can only be described as a freaky no-holds-barred alien makeout factory. And here he was in his room, seducing an insane, murderous, blind alien chick with his ironic drawings and general frosty demeanor. His Bro would be so fucking proud.
  4.  
  5. Dave took one of Terezi's teal nipples into his mouth and sucked on it lightly, and Terezi cooed as she scooted further into his lap. They were both topless by now, slick from sweat and Terezi's eager tongue. Dave grabbed onto Terezi's ass with both hands, savoring the feel of her plush cheeks through her jeans. He stopped and looked up as Terezi started to laugh; even harder than usual.
  6.  
  7. "You want to clue me in on the joke?"
  8. "We're going to fuck."
  9. "Wow T-Z here I was just enjoying the view and you're going to proposition me like that?"
  10. Terezi leaned into him, pushing her breasts against his toned chest. "Oh, but we are. And I've found out all about how you humans do it from your sister."
  11. "And?"
  12. "And you're going to like my surprise."
  13. Dave looked down, into Terezi's eyes, through his shades. "Surprise?"
  14. Terezi laughed, more sharp than before. Dave was starting to get a bit unnerved; not that she would ever find out. "Find out for yourself, coolkid." She moved his hands around to her thighs, and he moved them up her legs to her waistband. As he tucked a finger inside her pants, he brushed against something... definitely surprising.
  15.  
  16. Dave looked up again. "Terezi, is this what I think it is?" Terezi had no response besides her cackling through her shark-toothed grin.
  17. Dave pulled Terezi's pants and underwear down to her knees in one smooth motion. She had a perfectly normal pussy, already dripping wet with teal fluid, but from where her clit should've been extended a cock. A BIG cock. Dave couldn't help but stare for a few seconds.
  18.  
  19. Terezi slowly shook off her pants. "You humans don't have both, because of your stupid male-female coupling thing, right? So I'm not supposed to have one of these." Terezi ran a few fingers up and down her shaft and a few beads of sweat started to appear on Dave's forehead. "What do you think?"
  20. "Well, Dear Penthouse Forum, my girlfriend has a dick. And it's bigger than mine. Holy shit, Terezi."
  21. "Hehehe is that a good thing or not?"
  22. "Well a huge cock isn't exactly on the list of traits I dig in a woman, but I think I can deal."
  23. "Ooooooh Dave, you are such a cool customer."
  24. "Babe, I am a walking air conditioner store."
  25.  
  26. Terezi laughed again. Her laugh was almost predatorial now, sending a chill up Dave's spine as she slid over to him. "One problem. You don't get to be cool today." She shoved him down onto the bed.
  27. "What?"
  28. "You think we're doing this the normal way. We're gonna do something waaaaaay more fun." Terezi produced a bottle of lotion, and Dave's mouth dropped.
  29.  
  30. "Whoa whoa whoa no no no no we are not doing that."
  31. Terezi crawled onto Dave's stomach, reaching a hand behind her back to undo the button on Dave's pants. "It must be such a burden being so cool all the time."
  32. "Terezi no no I don't-"
  33. "Wouldn't you like to not have that responsibility?"
  34. "Terezi it's so fucking uncool-"
  35. Terezi pulled Dave's pants down a bit, and started to rub him through his boxers. "We're gonna do it this way and you are going to be seeing even less than me when I'm through with you."
  36.  
  37. Terezi yanked the shades off of Dave's face, throwing them across the room. Dave stared up with his wide, red eyes. Terezi was full predator mode now. She was a shark and he was a little minnow about to be eaten. She was an incredibly sexy girl shark who was going to fuck him up the ass and then quite possibly eat him afterwards. He couldn't deny it; he was finding it incredibly hard to be cool.
  38.  
  39. Terezi got off, knelt down on top of Dave's legs, and bent over, pulling off the rest of his clothes. Terezi giggled as Dave's erection finally sprang free. "Oh, this is nothing to be ashamed of, coolkid!" Dave blushed as he took a look at their cocks, side by side. She really was bigger than him.
  40.  
  41. Dave gulped again as Terezi spread lotion on her fingers, flashing Dave another almost-crazed grin. “Terezi, I really-” Dave stopped mid-sentence with a stifled gasp as Terezi started to press on Dave's hole, lightly making circles with her finger.
  42.  
  43. “You know, I didn't believe it when Rose told me this was a thing humans did. But this is how two guys would have to do it, huh?” She pushed her finger inside, and Dave winced. It didn't hurt; Terezi was being gentle despite her downright scary behavior, but he had to restrain himself from making any embarrassing noises as she started to push deeper inside of him.
  44.  
  45. “I haven't tried myself, but apparently it feels pretty good. And then there's this one spot...” Terezi curled her finger upwards, and this time Dave couldn't restrain a small squeaking noise as Terezi rubbed against his prostate. Terezi grinned. “Theeeere we go...” She brushed against it a few more times as Dave started to breathe heavier, letting out occasional noises he had thought were too uncool to exist.
  46.  
  47. Terezi slid in another finger, slowly pumping them in and out as Dave squirmed underneath her. His cock started to ooze precum, dripping onto his stomach. As he went to wipe it off, Terezi grabbed his wrist with her free hand, then licked Dave clean. Dave shuddered from the sensation.
  48.  
  49. As Terezi inserted a third finger, Dave started to feel like he was on fire. His cock was already throbbing, aching for release. Terezi leaned over Dave's body, and he let out a small whimper as her stomach brushed against it.
  50.  
  51. Terezi softly spoke into Dave's ear. “I should mention, any attempts to touch yourself will result in severe demerits.” She flashed her signature grin as she sped up her fingers just enough to make Dave let out another stifled moan. “You don't want to know what those are.”
  52.  
  53. Terezi sat back and removed her fingers, reaching for the lotion again. Dave looked up, now completely and totally flustered, as she squirted the bottle onto her cock, spreading it on with her free hand. She grabbed Dave's ass and pulled it closer, then prodded Dave's hole with her tip.
  54.  
  55. Dave wasn't sure this would work. Terezi was strong and fucking thick and he was pretty sure she would break him in half.
  56.  
  57. “Ready, Dave?”
  58. “TZ I'm not sure I can... do that thing.”
  59. Terezi laughed again, almost maniacally. “But you want it so badly! Who am I to deny you?”
  60. Dave was a bit taken aback at that comment, but he realized he was hard as a diamond and panting all over the place and practically his entire body was flushed red. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he wasn't in any place to refute her statement. “I...”
  61.  
  62. “I'll be gentle." Terezi chuckled to herself, then shrugged. "...ish.”
  63.  
  64. Terezi slowly slid in to Dave. He gritted his teeth as he felt her push deep inside of him. Terezi's shaft burned a bit as she forced it, little by little, into his virgin hole, but he found himself enjoying the feeling of fullness inside of him. After what felt like far too long, Terezi finally bottomed out, driving her hilt inside of Dave. Flush against him now, she took the chance to lick across Dave's face.
  65.  
  66. “Enjoying yourself?” Dave was unable to respond, too mentally scattered to find his words. Terezi took his length into her hand and started to pump up and down, agonizingly slow.
  67. As Dave bucked against her hand he finally started whimpering out, “Oh fuck Terezi... fuck... fuckfuckfuckfuck-”
  68. “If you insist!” Terezi moved both of her hands to Dave's ass, and started to slowly slide in and out.
  69.  
  70. Dave had to cover his mouth to keep from yelling out as Terezi thrust into him, harder than before. His eyes watered up in pain at first, but as Terezi worked up a rhythm, gradually thrusting faster and faster, Dave's cries of pain gradually became moans of pleasure. Terezi would reach up and lazily pump Dave's cock every few thrusts, keeping him just on the edge of release. Dave lost all illusions of ever being cool as he cried out, practically begging Terezi not to stop; his hands scrambled against the bedsheets as he tried to grab on to something solid. Terezi continued to pick up speed, until she was slamming into Dave as hard and as fast as she could. Dave melted into the mattress.
  71.  
  72. Terezi panted through her shark-toothed grin as she neared her peak. She quickened her motions on Dave's cock. Dave groaned as his vision blurred and he finally came, spraying his load across his chest. Soon after, Terezi pulled out, and Dave had just enough time to look up and see her with two fingers inside her pussy and her other hand furiously stroking her cock. She let out a low hiss as she came, spraying a bucketful of teal across Dave's body, then collapsing backwards onto the bed.
  73.  
  74. A few minutes later, still dizzy from the experience, Dave finally registered Terezi getting up. She put on her clothes, quickly, and picked up Dave's shades, throwing them over to him. They landed lens-down in the teal puddle on Dave's stomach. Terezi hovered her head above Dave's to spare him the effort of moving his neck.
  75.  
  76. “That was fun, coolkid! Find me again when you remember how to walk!!”
  77.  
  78. She left Dave's room, cackling. Dave winced as he tried to move up onto his elbows, but found himself mentally and physically unwilling to move.
  79.  
  80. Dave sighed as he sunk back down onto the mattress. He had just been fucked in the ass six ways from Sunday by a murderous, blind, dickgirl alien and was now knocked out on his bed literally coated in her cum, and somehow he felt incredibly satisfied with the situation.
  81.  
  82. Dave Strider was so fucking uncool. But there was always a first time for everything.
  83.  
  84. Dave limped into the mess hall, following the sounds of his friends' voices. Sure enough, they were talking about the same thing he had just experienced. Jade and Rose were talking to John excitedly over a plate of toast, while John looked rather forlorn at his end of the table, peeling a banana.
  85.  
  86. “Honestly, I was relieved. I was not really sure how to conduct myself in a female-female relationship, so this new development gave me a little more to work with within my... knowledge.”
  87. “Yeah! It's not really a big deal, me and Karkat worked basically like normal! Although I definitely have some fun ideas for later...”
  88. John stared at the girls, more tired and stressed than anyone had ever seen him.
  89. “But... she had a... thing!! That's a big deal! And she wanted to put it in me but no one believes that I'm not a homosexual!!!”
  90. Rose sighed. “John, I keep telling you, this is a gray area. Sexuality was never black and white and it certainly isn't now. And besides, as the starters of a new culture, we don't have to be bound by old customs. There's no reason not to experiment.”
  91. John kept looking around, distraught. “But even when I did it like I was supposed to her thing was right there and she squirted out of it and I got all covered in blue stuff and-”
  92. “JOHN. If you want to limit your options to girls without penises that aren't directly related to you, there is exactly one choice and I am already knee-deep in an insane alien relationship of my own, so you're out of luck.”
  93. John slumped over, burying his face in the table. He still hadn't been able to start eating that banana. “But it's so weeeeeiiiiiird....”
  94.  
  95. Dave finally entered the room, hiding his damaged stride, patting his bro on the back. “Well was it good or not?”
  96. “...well, it was, but she-”
  97. “Then there's no big deal. You liked it. Maybe you'd like what she was suggesting too.”
  98. Rose looked up from her coffee, smirking. “Is this coming from personal experience?”
  99. Dave's face reddened just a bit. “No, I... Weren't you the one just talking about new social standards?”
  100. Rose stirred her coffee and leaned back. “Yes, but you're still the kind of person who would be embarrassed by the revelation that you were engaging in certain sexual activities that might have once been construed as homosexual.”
  101. Dave just leaned over the table, staring daggers at Rose, hoping she would stop. She didn't.
  102. “Now, you should either take a seat and enjoy breakfast, or, if your rear is too sore to sit down with us, you probably have some very relevant information for our friend John here. Which is it?”
  103. Dave's glare would've burned a hole in any non-Lalonde. With a resigned sigh, he turned to John.
  104. “It's... a lot better than you think. Give it a try but don't let her do it without lube. Damn it, Rose.”
  105. He slunked off to the fridge, now only half-heartedly bothering to hide his shuffling walk as the girls started to laugh behind him.
  106.  
  107. So fucking uncool.
  108.  
  109. “So. Pros and Cons.
  110.  
  111. Pros. She's really pretty. And she's nice, when she wants to be, and around you that's a lot! Which means she must really like you! Also she has great taste in movies and she's headstrong and she was the first girl to let you see her boobs which is kind of a big deal!
  112.  
  113. Cons. She kinda has a penis.”
  114.  
  115. John groaned and drove his head into his desk. He was finding it really hard to get past that little detail. He was literally the only one in the world who cared, and he really did like Vriska a whole lot, but SHE HAD A PENIS.
  116.  
  117. Every time he tried to talk himself over the problem he just came back to that. A light blinked on on his computer screen. It was definitely Vriska, John knew, trying to find him again. He had purposely stayed away after their first time, two nights ago. It was amazing, but it had left him in a fair amount of mental anguish once the rush of adrenaline and hormones had worn off.
  118.  
  119. He thought back to Vriska, laying back on her bed. She was wearing a seductive look, like she was luring a little fly into her trap. Her fairy costume was down around her shoulders, revealing her perfect breasts, smallish but perky and with cerulean nipples that John found amazingly hot for some reason. He closed his eyes as he remembered how he had joined her on the bed and awkwardly cupped a breast in his hand as he pulled her into a soft, warm, kiss... WHOOPS BIG OL' THROBBING GREY COCK “GODDAMNIT!”
  120.  
  121. John knew he needed to sort this out, and there was really only one way to do that. He flicked open the Trollian chat window, and saw Vriska had started the conversation without him.
  122.  
  123. AG: Joooooooohn?
  124. AG: Where in the hell are you?
  125. AG: I've 8een looking all over for you, and I have to say, I'm 8eginning to get a 8it offended here!
  126. AG: Was I really some one-night stand, John?
  127. AG: …
  128. AG: JOHN!
  129. AG: F8CKING H8LL JOHN 8NSWER MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
  130. EB: oh god vriska
  131. EB: no its not like that at all
  132. EB: i am a gentleman :C
  133. AG: You're sure as hell not acting like one!
  134. AG: If I didn't know you were the LAST person capable of a one-night stand I probably would've thrown you off a cliff by now!
  135. EB: come on vriska
  136. EB: i really like you
  137. EB: its just the whole
  138. EB: ...thing
  139. EB: thing
  140. AG: What.
  141. EB: your... extra stuff...
  142. AG: W8. HOLD ON ONE F8CKING SECOND.
  143. AG: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
  144. EB: no!!!!!!!!
  145. EB: you have a penis! that is something that is normally a big deal!
  146. AG: Ohhhhhhhh........
  147. AG: You're still on about that?
  148. EB: its weird, okay?
  149. EB: i mean imagine if i had a vagina or something
  150. EB: or well i guess i should, going by troll standards
  151. EB: but, uh
  152. EB: well
  153. EB: please tell me you understand where i'm coming from here
  154. AG: Not really, to 8e honest.
  155. AG: Lots of weird stuff happened on Alternia.
  156. AG: With all you've 8een through, I'm frankly surprised you can't get over it!
  157. AG: It could get so much weirder if you wanted it to. :::;)
  158. EB: uhh..
  159. AG: Are you really that turned off just 8y me having a dick?
  160. EB: well, it wasnt too bad when we got into it
  161. EB: its just really freaky
  162. EB: and im kinda unsure about the whole thing!
  163. AG: Hmmmmmmmm
  164. AG: Sounds like you just need more time with it. ::::)
  165. EB: uh
  166. AG: I'm coming over, John.
  167. EB: no vriska wait i think we should talk about it first
  168. AG: No 8uts, John!
  169. EB: vriska seriously i dont know about this
  170.  
  171. John felt something press against the back of his chair, then looked up to see Vriska, smiling through the lenses of her computer glasses. “Here I aaaaaaaam,” she said as the viewscreens on her glasses turned off.
  172.  
  173. John gulped. “Uh, hi, Vriska.”
  174.  
  175. Vriska took off her coat, throwing it onto John's door handle, leaving her in her standard black shirt and jeans. She swiveled John's chair around and sat down in his lap, her legs crossing behind the chair's back and her arms draped around his shoulders. John liked the contact, the warmth Vriska exuded as she sat down and drew herself close to him, but he was now acutely aware of the slight bulge forming in Vriska's pants. He brought his hands to the small of her back, and Vriska chuckled.
  176.  
  177. “Do you have a problem with my body, John?”
  178. John blushed, looking at Vriska's expression. She was almost sneering at him, daring him to say anything. His eyes darted back and forth between Vriska's breasts and her groin. “ Uh...”
  179. “You've been saying some veeeeeeeery rude things about me.” She leaned into John, pressing her breasts against his chest and bringing her face just an inch away from his.
  180. “Well, I think you are really pretty, Vriska!” John sounded just a tad nervous in his statement, and Vriska's smile widened. She kicked off her red sneakers, squirming back and forth on John's lap, just enough to earn a small gasp from the boy. She undid the button on her jeans.
  181. “You called my body freaky and weird, John. That hurts, you know.”
  182. John answered back, indignant at that remark. “Hey, every part I'm used to girls having is great! I kept telling you how beautiful you looked! I meant that!”
  183. Vriska pulled back a bit, a showy pout forming in her smile. “But what about the parts a girl isn't supposed to have? Do you think having a dick makes me ugly, John?”
  184. “No! It's just... uhh...” John was beet-red, and having trouble finding the right words.
  185. Vriska lifted herself off of John and started to walk away. “Vriska, wait! I'm sorry! You're really beautiful and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings!”
  186.  
  187. Vriska laughed to herself before turning around. John actually thought her feelings were hurt right now. He was so cute sometimes.
  188. She turned her head, looking at him with a grin. “You're really sorry?”
  189. John nodded.
  190. She walked over to John's bed, and sat down on the edge, facing him. She pulled down her zipper, then kicked her jeans to the floor. John's face whitened a bit at the tent pitched in Vriska's 8-ball boxers.
  191. “Then come over here and make it up to me.”
  192.  
  193. John got out of his chair and started to walk over to Vriska. Alright John, don't chicken out or you'll hurt her feelings again! Just... deal with the fact that she has a penis. She's still a pretty girl! John got on his knees and hooked two fingers into the waistband. Vriska nodded at him with a smirk. John pulled down her underwear and Vriska's cock sprang free, fully erect, sprouting from where a human girl would've had a clitoris. John stared at Vriska's crotch.
  194.  
  195. Okay don't freak out remember she still has girlparts too which means this is okay and everyone agrees that this is no big deal and no one will make fun of you for doing this because this is basically a normal thing now and even if it wasnt itd still be okay because shes a really cool girl and you dont want to be insensitive to any issues that she would have with her body-
  196.  
  197. Vriska broke the silence, cutting off John's inner monologue. “You know, a lot of people would say I have a beautiful penis. It's smooth, long, there aren't any bulging veins...” John dragged a fingertip up her shaft, and they both shuddered slightly, nearly in unison. Don't be such a wimp, John, this really isn't a big deal. John reluctantly agreed with his inner voice and steeled his resolve to make it up to his girlfriend. “So how do I make it up to you, whatever it was?”
  198.  
  199. Vriska's smile turned the slightest bit sinister. John knew Vriska was putting on an act, and she had calmed down to the point where she wasn't too much danger to anyone left in the veil, but he couldn't help but be unnerved. She put her hand on the back of his head and gently pulled him closer. “Suck it, Egbert.”
  200.  
  201. John's face turned white. “Vriska I-”
  202. “Come oooooooon, Joooooooohn...” Vriska chuckled at John's squeamishness. “Don't keep the beauuuuuuuutiful lady waiting!”
  203.  
  204. John put his hand around the base of Vriska's cock. He didn't have much experience at this, only vaguely knowing what to do from accidentally stumbling upon Dave's collection of pornography, and even then he had been a little too grossed out to pay full attention. John licked up the head, and Vriska let out a small hiss of approval. John took the head into his mouth, and started to pump his fist up and down the shaft. He was finding it a lot easier to do this with the knowledge that the one bunching up her hand in his hair and breathing heavily above him was, in fact, a girl. He swirled his tongue around the head, until he felt Vriska grab a fistful of his hair, and softly pull.
  205.  
  206. John stopped his hand's movements and bobbed lower onto Vriska's shaft. About halfway in he felt it tickle the back of his throat, and he stopped there, continuing to lick everywhere he could reach with his tongue. Vriska's breath was heavy and ragged, and John enjoyed Vriska's feminine moans enough to calm down about the whole “currently giving a blowjob” thing. He looked up at her. She had one hand under her shirt, rubbing her breast with a very pleased look on her face. Until she looked down, and John realized he had been too entranced to remember to keep moving.
  207.  
  208. John slid his mouth up and down her shaft, and put two fingers inside her nook. As he pumped in and out, Vriska's moans became louder and she started to fidget under John's grasp. She tried to thrust into John's mouth, until he held her hips down with his spare hand. John felt Vriska's hands grab his hair again.
  209.  
  210. “JOHN RELAX YOUR FUCKING THROAT.”
  211.  
  212. John's eyes went wide as he was forced deeper and deeper onto Vriska, agonizingly slowly. John gagged as Vriska continued to buck into his throat, almost uncontrollably.
  213.  
  214. “John please I will do anything you want if you do this... I'll make it up to you eightfold! Times eight times eight times eight times eight Times eight times eight times eight it just feels so goddamn good!!!!!!!!”
  215.  
  216. John nodded, as much as he could, and took a deep breath. He fought back tears as supressed his gag reflex, taking Vriska into his throat. “Oh god John yessssssss!” John licked the base of Vriska's cock and started moving his fingers in her nook again.
  217.  
  218. It didn't take long for Vriska to start yelling out her release. “John John JohnJohnJohnJohnJohnohmygodJohn I'm coming!!!!!!!!”
  219.  
  220. John choked down the first spurts of cerulean cum, but after a few seconds, when Vriska's blue started to force its way out of his nose, John gagged and fell back onto his knees, letting Vriska splash onto his face while he caught his breath.
  221.  
  222. John was vaguely aware of Vriska falling off of the bed to sit in front of him.
  223.  
  224. “Theeeeeeeere, that wasn't so bad, right?”
  225. “...You actually taste pretty good.” Vriska smirked as John licked his lips. “Was it alright?”
  226. “WAS IT ALRIGHT?” Vriska burst out laughing. “God damn, John, can't you fucking tell?”
  227.  
  228. John still looked worried, though. “So, you're not mad anymore?”
  229.  
  230. Vriska couldn't laugh anymore, through John's incredible levels of sweetness and naivete. He was TOO fucking cute.
  231.  
  232. “I was never mad. I love you, John, and not just because you give the best blowjobs in paradox space. Because you were willing to do something that weird for me just because you thought my feelings were hurt.”
  233.  
  234. “BUT YOU SAID IT WASN'T WEIRD-”
  235.  
  236. “It was for you! Calm your adorable jets, windyboy.”
  237.  
  238. John smiled. “Oh, heh.” Vriska threw herself into a hug, and John suddenly became aware of his own boner threatening to rip through his pants.
  239.  
  240. “Uh, Vriska?? You said you would do anything for me, right?”
  241. “Mm-hmm?”
  242.  
  243. John nervously pointed to the bulge in his pants, and Vriska smirked. “Ohhhhhhhh.” Vriska helped John to his feet, then pushed him back onto the bed.
  244.  
  245. He pulled off his pants, while Vriska produced a bottle of lotion from her pocket. When John saw it, his face fell.
  246.  
  247. “Still ready to try new things, Joooooooohn?”
  248.  
  249. Gulp.
  250.  
  251. -----
  252.  
  253. John, still exhausted from last night, limped over to the couch, and sat next to Dave.
  254.  
  255. “You let her do it to you, didn't you.”
  256. “Not at first. First I gave her a BJ.”
  257.  
  258. Dave snickered, then looked around. The room was empty. Dave announced as much, then turned back to John, a gigantic smirk on his face.
  259.  
  260. “It was fucking awesome, wasn't it.”
  261. “Oh god yes. She made it up to me eightfold.”
  262. “Nice. Bump it, Egbro.”
  263.  
  264. BUNP
  265.  
  266.  
clone this paste RAW Paste Data