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You Are Meaty Arm

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Sep 19th, 2010
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  1. [12:41:56] <MeatyArm> Your name is Meaty Arm. You have a passion for FONDLING, GROPING and GENERALLY MOLESTING the people you meet. You declare your LOVE openly and freely like if it were the 60's.
  2. [13:05:27] *** Jiminiminy (chatzilla@CPE002275f1f0a4-CM00407b87d810.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) joined
  3. [13:08:05] *** Jiminiminy changed nick to Jim|hw
  4. [13:10:50] <Spaffy> >Feel hungry>
  5. [13:10:53] <Spaffy> >eat saltines
  6. [13:10:55] <Spaffy> >dinner
  7. [13:12:25] *** Jim|hw changed nick to Jim|Vidya
  8. [13:12:28] <Jim|Vidya> fuck this
  9. [13:12:43] <MeatyArm> You start to feel hungry, which is odd because you're an arm. You blindly grope your way around your room until you stumble upon a box of crackers.
  10. [13:13:02] <Fnord> there is no finer dinner than a sleeve of saltines
  11. [13:13:21] *** Plegathon (Mibbit@c-68-57-140-200.hsd1.va.comcast.net) joined
  12. [13:13:30] <Plegathon> http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/262/2/9/alternia__s_finest_by_plegathon-d2z1w5y.png
  13. [13:13:35] <Plegathon> what have I done
  14. [13:13:40] <Chev> and then SURPRISE YOU CAN'T EAT IT BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO MOUTH
  15. [13:13:42] <MeatyArm> You fashon for yourself a sleeve of saltine crackers. You're not quite sure how this will make you less hungry, but you decide it's for the better.
  16. [13:14:45] <Chev> You must be careful, as movements too vigorous will render your sleeve nought but crumbs.
  17. [13:15:42] <MeatyArm> You make a mental note that your delicious food clothing is very fragile, rendering you nearly immobile, as your primary transportation is flopping around like a blind fish-arm.
  18. [13:16:31] <Spaffy> i love you guys
  19. [13:16:45] <MeatyArm> Maybe you have an artifact in your possession that could help you in this situation...
  20. [13:17:10] <Jim|Vidya> Try and remember if you have anything that is useful
  21. [13:17:39] <MeatyArm> You remember that you have three items in your array modus, but as you are blind you can't see what.
  22. [13:17:51] <Chev> Equip the Kite of Driving Wind
  23. [13:18:20] <MeatyArm> You wish so much you had a Kite of Driving Wind.
  24. [13:19:50] <MeatyArm> You have 10 slots in your modus, 3 of which you remember being occupied. You must call out the position number to activate the artifact in the slot.
  25. [13:20:08] <MeatyArm> You believe the positions were 1, 2 and 9.
  26. [13:20:19] <Chev> Equip position 9
  27. [13:20:37] <MeatyArm> You equip your Skateboard! You knew you had a better way to get around.
  28. [13:21:20] <Jim|Vidya> Question usage of a skateboard whilst blind
  29. [13:22:05] <MeatyArm> You used to feel like it was a bad idea, but after years of using it as transportation, you've become quite accustom to the layout of the building you live in.
  30. [13:22:24] <Chev> Ride Skateboard to the kitchen
  31. [13:23:06] <MeatyArm> Perched atop the deck of the board, you ride to the kitchen. Your fancy new attire flaps and crackles in the wind.
  32. [13:24:03] *** Sock (Sock@wnpgmb1316w-ds01-225-203.dynamic.mts.net) joined
  33. [13:24:25] *** ChanServ sets channel #Bluhbluh mode +o Sock
  34. [13:25:57] <MeatyArm> Suddenly, you lose control, you crash into the wall. Fortunately, you had previously lined all the walls in the house with soft objects. The particular soft object you have now landed on is a doll of some sort. It is humanoid in figure, and has two pointed horns as well as glasses.
  35. [13:26:25] <Fnord> hug terezi love pillow
  36. [13:27:57] <MeatyArm> You tenderly caress the doll, as a thanks for saving your food-suit, and helping you avoid bruising. In your mind, the doll returns your feeling of love, as you saved her from a life in the streets under a cardboard box, and has no sexual undertones at all.
  37. [13:29:26] <MeatyArm> You climb back atop your skateboard and make your way to the fridge. You climb atop a complicated contraption and open the door.
  38. [13:30:18] <MeatyArm> Before you is a veritable wonderland of bland, tasteless foods. You never really cared for flavor. Some people call you a boring person, I suppose that's why you use the Array Modus.
  39. [13:32:17] <@Sock> > eat mayo straight out of the jar.
  40. [13:33:03] *** g0m quit (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
  41. [13:33:33] <MeatyArm> You grab one of the cold jars you keep on the bottom row. After spending exactly 4 hours of silly antics, you finally manage to get the lid open with your one meaty arm. At this point you are so ravished you can't help but dig in at full force.
  42. [13:34:42] <MeatyArm> Look at this mess! It's everywhere! Well, I suppose you can't really see it, but you'll feel it when you preform your nightly check on all your SOFT OBJECTS.
  43. [13:36:05] *** gl0m (g0m@87.198.199.192) joined
  44. [13:36:13] *** gl0m changed nick to g0m
  45. [13:36:41] *** g0m (g0m@87.198.199.192) left ()
  46. [13:36:54] *** skippydippy (Mibbit@141.224.145.123) joined
  47. [13:37:03] <MeatyArm> You attempt to climb onto your skateboard... shit! Your modus decided to capchalog it to a random number! You have three items, in slots 1, 2 and ?.
  48. [13:37:15] *** skippydippy changed nick to WorkinJoe
  49. [13:37:16] *** gl0m (g0m@87.198.199.192) joined
  50. [13:37:51] *** gl0m (g0m@87.198.199.192) left ()
  51. [13:41:53] <@Sock> > take the item out of slot ?.
  52. [13:42:10] <Chev> Check items 1 and 2
  53. [13:42:25] <MeatyArm> You try to trick your modus, but it doesn't work. You don't know which of the 10 slots the skateboard was stuck in.
  54. [13:43:05] <@Sock> dang.
  55. [13:43:08] <MeatyArm> You decide to call out both slots 1 and 2, just so there's no surprises. They plop on the ground, you feel them and... oh. More saltine cracker boxes.
  56. [13:43:29] <Chev> Construct stilts for your fingers out of the saltine boxes
  57. [13:44:06] <MeatyArm> You carefully rip the cardboard boxes and fashion enlongated rings for your fingers. You are looking like a badass now.
  58. [13:46:34] <MeatyArm> Well, I should say badarm, I suppose.
  59. [13:47:29] *** gl0m (g0m@87.198.199.192) joined
  60. [13:47:46] *** gl0m (g0m@87.198.199.192) left ()
  61. [13:48:38] <Chev> Screw the skateboard, walk around your house and look for something to do
  62. [13:49:51] <MeatyArm> You drag yourself along, as your are but an arm. You notice your saltine sleeve suit is becoming damaged! You decide to stop and capchalog it so you may use it later. You didn't call out a number, however, which means that it too was randomly assigned a position. You now have 2 items in slots ?, and ?.
  63. [13:50:03] <MeatyArm> From your room you hear an IM alert, you decide to check it out.
  64. [13:51:31] <MeatyArm> It's from your friend mT. Friend is used loosely. The conversation is long, boring, and full of awkward pauses that surely you wouldn't like to read. The jist of the conversation is that your mutual friend, mH is inviting you to play a game.
  65. [13:52:30] <@Sock> > be excited, nobody ever wants to play games with you.
  66. [13:53:21] <MeatyArm> You flop and flail wildly. You pull yourself over to the closest SOFT OBJECT and hug and fondle and grope it happily. In your mind everyone is cheering you on.
  67. [13:55:09] *** gl0m (g0m@87.198.199.192) joined
  68. [13:55:18] *** gl0m changed nick to g0m
  69. [14:02:53] <g0m> Uh uh uh
  70. [14:03:50] <MeatyArm> Enough of this silliness! You start to download the files that were sent to you by mT. Estimated time is two hours. You have a lot of time to kill, and many more antics to be had in the meantime.
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