How to troll TurtleShroom 101

<TurtleShroom> Brace yourselves...

<ZONEsama> man with all the words I´m hearing about the bible its a surprise why its not X rated lol

<TurtleShroom> EZEKIAL 23

<TurtleShroom> VERSE ONE THROUGH FORTY NINE

<ZONEsama> huh

<TurtleShroom> (By the way: happy ending. They're punished for all of this.)

<TurtleShroom> basically, God's outlining sexual sins here. Things no man or woman should do.

<TurtleShroom> He's listing examples of dark sins that no Jew (and later, no Christian) should ever do.

<TurtleShroom> Let's begin.

<TurtleShroom>  1 A message came to me from the Lord. He said, 2 "Son of man, once there were two women. They had the same mother. 3 They became prostitutes in Egypt. They have been unfaithful to me since they were young. In that land they allowed their breasts to be touched. They permitted their virgin breasts to be kissed.

<EternalMagma> UM OKAY

<ZONEsama> what am i reading

<TurtleShroom> With each pause, I'm going to preach.

<TurtleShroom> Ezekial 23:1-3.

<ZONEsama> lol sermon in IRC

<TurtleShroom> Basically, what you're seeing here are two women disgracing God.

<TurtleShroom> ...a lot.

<ZONEsama> SO WAIT

<TurtleShroom> These are NOT good women,  NOT women the Bible wants you to be like if you're a woman.

<ZONEsama> if I am to understand you correctly

<ZONEsama> ANYTHING in the bible can be said because its God´s word right?

<ZONEsama> so like if there´s a swear word in the bible, it can be said cause like its in the good book right?

<TurtleShroom> I have no authority to censor the Word of God.

<ZONEsama> THEN OFF TO HUNTING I GO! :D

<TurtleShroom> Only in context of the Bible verse.

<TurtleShroom> No.

<TurtleShroom> Nope.

<TurtleShroom> You can only use it if you're reading the Bible verse, and most modern translations cut all of them out.

<ZONEsama> I can say damn and hell because they´re several mentioned in the bible

<TurtleShroom> Now, stay here. I need to get this all straightened out.

<ZONEsama> stuff like

<ZONEsama> eternal damnation and hellfire

<TurtleShroom> You need to listen to my sermon so you don' go around trolling Christians with something that could hurt their faith.

<ZONEsama> thats in the bible, damn and hell are in the bible

<ZONEsama> its legal guys you can say those words now

<TurtleShroom> ZK, please....

<TurtleShroom> This is very serious to me.

<TurtleShroom> I know you don't believe, but please.

<TurtleShroom> You need to listen to my sermon so you don't go around trolling Christians with something that could hurt their faith forever.

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<ZONEsama> v

<ZONEsama> PISS IS IN THE BIBLE TOO, THATS LEGAL

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12

<TurtleShroom> ZK........

<TurtleShroom> Please...

<TurtleShroom> Please....

<localtoast> TurtleShroom, you know all he's gonna get out of this is that A) you might be hardcore fundie when you;re not and B) lol23:29

<EternalMagma> wait TS what's your power on the wiki

<TurtleShroom> -____-

<ZONEsama> Isaiah 36:12 and ezekiel 23:20

<TurtleShroom> Okay... let's keep up with the porn sermon, okay?

<ZONEsama> its legal man its legal

<TurtleShroom> I HAVE TO GET THIS STRAIGHTENED OUT

<TurtleShroom> EZEKIAL 23

<TurtleShroom>  4 "The older sister was named Oholah. The younger one was Oholibah. They belonged to me. Sons and daughters were born to them. Oholah stands for Samaria. And Oholibah stands for Jerusalem.

<ZONEsama> piss is a legal swear now because Isaiah 36:12

<TurtleShroom> 5 "Oholah was unfaithful to me even while she still belonged to me. She longed for her Assyrian lovers. 6 They included soldiers who wore blue uniforms. They also included governors and commanders. All of them were young and handsome. They rode horses. 7 She gave herself as a prostitute to all of Assyria's finest warriors. She polluted herself with the statues of the gods of everyone she...

<TurtleShroom> ...longed for.

<ZONEsama> But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

* EternalMagma removes channel operator status from TurtleShroom

<ZONEsama> okay, so damn, hell, and piss are legal now cause they´re in the bible

<ZONEsama> Lev:19:29

<ZONEsama> Lev:19:29

<ZONEsama> Lev:19:29

<ZONEsama> Lev:19:29

<ZONEsama> WHORE IS LEGAL NOW

<ZONEsama> also mentioned in Lev:21:7

* EternalMagma gives channel operator status to TurtleShroom

<HarrySee> ZONEsama, Is fuck anywhere?

<ZONEsama> and Deut:22:21

<HarrySee> :3

<TurtleShroom> SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

<TurtleShroom> ZK, STOP DISGRACING MY LORD

<ZONEsama> TurtleShroom: im not im trying to find swears

<TurtleShroom> THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO MOCK

<ZONEsama> im quoting verses though

<ZONEsama> so that means im learning about the bible

<TurtleShroom> ZK, LET ME LAY DOWN THE LAW FOR YOUR IRREVERENT MIND.

<ZONEsama> so thats good, right?

<EternalMagma> ts please calm down

<TurtleShroom> No, you're using the Bible as fuel to TROLL.

<ZONEsama> no I´m not

<HarrySee> Irreverent mind?

<ZONEsama> prove it

<TurtleShroom> THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING I'VE EVER SEEN

<ZONEsama> Deut:22:21

<EternalMagma> you know what, don't calm down, this is classic

<ZONEsama> TurtleShroom: you said if a swear is in the bible, we can say it

* TurtleShroom gives voice to EternalMagma

* TurtleShroom removes channel operator status from EternalMagma

<EternalMagma> hey what

<ZONEsama> as long as we quote the verse

<EternalMagma> that's not cool

<TurtleShroom> Well, you're purpsoely disrupting my emotional equilibrium by quoting curses from the Bible and claiming to be legal by exploiting a loophole.

<HarrySee> "piss" off, zone :3

<ZONEsama> whore Deut:22:21

<TurtleShroom> That was so you wouldn't demote me, MM.

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<EternalMagma> I wasn't gonna demote you

<TurtleShroom> PEOPLE STOP IT

<EternalMagma> You're grandfathered, I get that now

<XTUX345> ....

<TurtleShroom> Oh.

* TurtleShroom gives channel operator status to EternalMagma

<EternalMagma> Thank you

<ZONEsama> Grandfathered?

<TurtleShroom> Okay, if you would all calm down, shut up, and let me speak.

<XTUX345> That Private Server has some problems

<ZONEsama> when the whore (Deut:22:21) was that spoken?

<TurtleShroom> God's Word curses. Yes.

<XTUX345> Things take longer to load

<TurtleShroom> However, it is an ancient text with different moral standards.

<TurtleShroom> ZK, you know my moral standards.

<TurtleShroom> You know what words not to say in front of me.

<ZONEsama> but its in the bible man

<ZONEsama> and im learning more about the bible

<ZONEsama> so thats good, right?

<TurtleShroom> You're quoting God's Word and exploiting a loophole I made by my own words.

<ZONEsama> people are getting taught more about the bible

<HarrySee> We're learning.

<TurtleShroom> You're not learning anything except how prostitutes work, ZK.

<HarrySee> Learning.

<ZONEsama> and loads of people are gonna like it now that you can legally say swears

<XTUX345> Is anyone on the private server?

<EternalMagma> this is so awesome

<ZONEsama> brb, gonna take a piss (Isaiah 36:12)

<HarrySee> TurtleShroom, I can assure you that we've known how prostitutes work alot longer than you.

<TurtleShroom> The Bible goes into detail like this because it's trying to show us HOW NOT TO BEHAVE.

<TurtleShroom> It's specifically saying that it's evil, Harry...

<XTUX345> Yeah

<ZONEsama> back, man that was one swell piss (Isaiah 36:12)

<TurtleShroom> So please, don't think God's Word is a pedophile book...

<TurtleShroom> You may have no reverence for it, but I do.

<TurtleShroom> So respect me, please.

<EternalMagma> what, no one said that

<ZONEsama> nobody said that man

<HarrySee> ZONEsama, Quote or not, that's still creepy "That was one swell piss"

<ZONEsama> HarrySee: lol

<ZONEsama> but im allowed to say it, right?

<TurtleShroom> I can't kick you because you're using a very unclean loophole.

<TurtleShroom> ...-but no, ZK, you're not.

<TurtleShroom> You see, modern translations don't have that.

<XTUX345> BRB

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<TurtleShroom> Plus, Isaiah was saying what ungodly sinners/pagans/people that hate God do.

<ZONEsama> TurtleShroom: but its still there man

<TurtleShroom> He was saying how evil it was and outlining the filth that his generation did...

<TurtleShroom> Same with Ezekial.

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<TurtleShroom> God was mourning over how these women conducted themselves, ZK.

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<TurtleShroom> This isn't something to laugh about.

* TurtleShroom gives voice to HahReeSee

<XTUX345> LOL

<XTUX345> JK

<TurtleShroom> Besides, Ezekial 24 and Isaiah 36:12 is the most hardcore "porn" I've ever seen.

<ZONEsama> dude these bible verses are mad man

<ZONEsama> keeping these :3

<TurtleShroom> ZK, I don't find that funny.

<ZONEsama> does it piss (Isaiah 36:12) you off?

<TurtleShroom> I want you to promise me you're not going to go to a Christian and quote those.

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<TurtleShroom> There are some lines you shouldn't cross, ZK.

* EternalMagma_ (~EternalTr@92.3.240.32) has joined #clubpenguinfanon

<EternalMagma_> what the

<EternalMagma_> what happened

<ZONEsama> im not crossing any lines

<EternalMagma_> TS what did you do

<TurtleShroom> I want you to promise me you're not going to interfere with the faith of Christians.

* TurtleShroom gives voice to EternalMagma_

* TurtleShroom gives channel operator status to EternalMagma_

<EternalMagma_> all of our connections just reset

<TurtleShroom> ZK, I know you better than that.

<XTUX345> XD

<ZONEsama> you said that you´re allowed to swear if its in the bible man

<ZONEsama> so why cant everyone else join in

<TurtleShroom> You're going to go to a Christian and quote Ezekial 24.

<TurtleShroom> No, I said it's only clean when you are quoting the scripture for teaching.

<ZONEsama> nah man I swear I wouldn´t piss (Isaiah 36:12) them off

<TurtleShroom> I didn't say you could yank it out and use it willy-nilly.

<ZONEsama> i am quoting it

<ZONEsama> im putting the verse in brackets

<TurtleShroom> No, you're just putting it in a bracket without even giving the context.

<ZONEsama> people can look it up man

* EternalMagma has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)

<TurtleShroom> That's unholy cherry picking and the darkest of atheists use it to make God look "evil".

<EternalMagma_> TS, this is funny but come on, YOU'RE BEING TROLLED

* EternalMagma_ is now known as EternalMagma

<TurtleShroom> MM, I know I'm being trolled.

<TurtleShroom> Normally, I can take ZK trolling me.

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<ZONEsama> im not trolling

* Harryc has quit (Ping timeout: 258 seconds)

<ZONEsama> im just making a point

<TurtleShroom> ...-but when he uses my own religion, when he uses GOD as his source, he is insulting who I am.

<ZONEsama> how is making a point trolling

<ZONEsama> i wanted to join in with the sermon you were giving

<XTUX345> 9_9

<HahReeSee> ZONEsama, If you can find Fuck in the bible you would be my new God.

<TurtleShroom> ZK doesn't have reverence for the Lord. I get that and I tolerate that he does not believe.

<HahReeSee> ...:3

* TurtleShroom has kicked HahReeSee from #clubpenguinfanon (HahReeSee)

<XTUX345> O_O

<ZONEsama> ehh sorta I´m more agnostic

<XTUX345> ...

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<ZONEsama> in the middle

<TurtleShroom> However, I will NOT let people sit around and make a mockery of my God like this.

<TurtleShroom> All of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

<EternalMagma> why me?

<XTUX345> Plug your ears!

<TurtleShroom> I don't treat YOU like this.

<ZONEsama> like I ain´t gonna be those atheist guys that are all like WELL SCIENCE PROVES THIS BLAH BLAH BLAH

<EternalMagma> or, or ninjinian

* TurtleShroom gives voice to HahReeSee

<XTUX345> ...

<ZONEsama> its cool though man

<XTUX345> Let's think with Portals

<HahReeSee> TurtleShroom, what about your Homophobia?

<TurtleShroom> Do I treat ANY of you like this?

<TurtleShroom> I was made to repent of it.

<ZONEsama> TurtleShroom: we are participating in your sermon

<XTUX345> Put a Portal in ZONEsama's house

<ZONEsama> you brought the topic up

<ZONEsama> and now it is being discussed

<XTUX345> Then a Portal in TurtleShroom's house

<TurtleShroom> ZK, that was because you were about to run around saying that donkey testicles are in the Bible.

<XTUX345> Then, ZONEsama walks into TurtleShroom's house

<TurtleShroom> Without understanding WHY they were there.

<XTUX345> And they fight each other

<ZONEsama> what

<TurtleShroom> There was a serious reason that it was in there.

<ZONEsama> that´s in the bible too?

<XTUX345> ....

<HahReeSee> ZONEsama, Explain your Homophobia.

<HahReeSee> Sorry

<HahReeSee> Turtleshroom.

<TurtleShroom> Ezekial 24 is talking about the worst of women and how God detests them. It goes to say they are evil.

<ZONEsama> oh it is, ezekiel 20:23

<TurtleShroom> HRS, I'm not permitted to be homophobic.

<TurtleShroom> I was made to repent of it by my mother.

<XTUX345> ROLOPHONE

<XTUX345> OREOPHONE

<TurtleShroom> I get scolded heavilly when I talk about gays.

<XTUX345> ZOFLCHOPPER

<TurtleShroom> So I have retreated this to myself and can not go into a rant-a-thon.

<XTUX345> ...

<TurtleShroom> My mother did a good job on making me stop.

<XTUX345> :)

<XTUX345> Yeah

<HahReeSee> Xtux345, this isn't the time really.

<TurtleShroom> Essentially, she said I'd turn evil if I kept it up.

<XTUX345> I don'

<HahReeSee> parenting./

<TurtleShroom> I said there was no way...

<XTUX345> don't exactly agree

<TurtleShroom> ...-but she really laid it down.

<XTUX345> *

<TurtleShroom> She's seen my former hatred for gays.

<TurtleShroom> She said that hate could never come from her raising.

<TurtleShroom> She said she'd never seen so much hate.

<ZONEsama> I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT GAYS

<ZONEsama> REALLY PISS (Isaiah 36:12) TS OFF

<HahReeSee> LOL

<TurtleShroom> She said it terrified her what I'd do if I actually SAW a queer.

* HahReeSee Highfives ZONEsama

<TurtleShroom> ZK, if you have any respect for me as a fellow person, you will stop doing that, ZK.

<TurtleShroom> If you have ANY RESPECT AT ALL, you will stop that.

<ZONEsama> TurtleShroom: dude my respect for you has SKYROCKETED now

* NinjIsAway is now known as Ninjinian

<ZONEsama> think of all the fun everyone could have with this knowledge

<ZONEsama> new possibilities

<HahReeSee> Learning.

* XTUX345 is now known as TurtIeShroom

<HahReeSee> Learning is fun.

* TurtIeShroom is now known as XTUX345

<TurtleShroom> Please; I am trying all in my power not to kick you, ban you, and share this with Seahorse in a quest to take you out.

<XTUX345> I registered "TurtIeShroom"

<ZONEsama> lol share it with seahorse?

<EternalMagma> TS this isn't a wiki matter

<ZONEsama> righto

<TurtleShroom> You are stretching all of the tolerance I have.

<HahReeSee> If we get banned, We'll just movve to a new IRC.

<Ninjinian> EternalMagma : "or, or ninjinian", what about me?

<TurtleShroom> You are pushing me to my limits. I can't take being treated like this, ZK.

<TurtleShroom> I can't take my God being exploited like that.

<XTUX345> Both of your have points

<Ninjinian> Who's cussing God?...

<EternalMagma> Ninjinian: TS said "all of you" and I was like, ninj is away, so how him

<ZONEsama> I´m sorry if I pissed (Isaiah 36:12) you off

<TurtleShroom> I can't take you taking excerpts from the Prophets and using them to justify your little laughter.

<XTUX345> TurtleShroom is correct in that God cannot be exploited like this

<ZONEsama> im not exploiting

<ZONEsama> im participating

<ZONEsama> because the topic was brought up

<Ninjinian> EternalMagma - oh right OK

<TurtleShroom> In doing this, ZK, you are disgracing the Prophets of Judaism, shaming God, and insulting me as a person and as a Christian.

<XTUX345> Oh, and I got Portal 2 a while ago

<XTUX345> I LOVED it!

<EternalMagma> XTUX what console

<ZONEsama> im not disgracing anyone

<XTUX345> PS3

<ZONEsama> im just saying like you were able to say it

<HahReeSee> TurtleShroom, don't be a bible Whore [Lev:19:29]

<TurtleShroom> I earnestly beseech that you stop with all of this.

<EternalMagma> darn it

<TurtleShroom> ...........................

<TurtleShroom> Please...

<ZONEsama> therefore YOU disgraced god because YOU said a passage with a swear

<XTUX345> The PS3 version comes with a code

<TurtleShroom> Please, please... stop...

<XTUX345> That unlocks the PC version on Steam

<Ninjinian> Maybe he didn't mean it in an offensive way

<TurtleShroom> ZK, I'm asking you as kindly as I can... please....

<TurtleShroom> I was quoting that passage because someone was using it as a tool against God.

<ZONEsama> so like if I quote a bible verse that has a swear, I´m apparently disgracing god

<TurtleShroom> I was going to give the entire context.

<ZONEsama> but if you quote one, its okay

<TurtleShroom> No. No!

<ZONEsama> that really pisses (Isaiah 36:12) me lol

<TurtleShroom> I was trying to explain that verse to you!

<XTUX345> TurtleShroom, the bible does mention words that would be considered swears nowadays

<TurtleShroom> Pluse, Isaiah 36:12, in NIRV...

<XTUX345> Such as "@$$"

<ZONEsama> XTUX345: WHERE?

<XTUX345> All over the place

<TurtleShroom>  12 But the commander replied, "My master sent me to say these things. Are these words only for your master and you to hear? Aren't they also for the men who are sitting on the wall? They are going to suffer just like you. They'll have to eat their own waste. They'll have to drink their own urine."

<XTUX345> Even in the 10 commandments

<ZONEsama> are you serious?

<ZONEsama> I gotta find this

<TurtleShroom> THAT WAS IN THE KING JAMES VERSION

<XTUX345> It's mostly in the King James Version

<Ninjinian> Wow...

<TurtleShroom> ONLY IN THE KING JAMES VERSION.

<XTUX345> Back them, "@$$" meant "donkey"

<TurtleShroom> Yes.

<TurtleShroom> Now stop it.

<ZONEsama> so wait

<TurtleShroom> You people are really tormenting me here.

<Ninjinian> Okay, is this matter over now?

<EternalMagma> XTUX345: it still does

<ZONEsama> if I refer to it as a donkey

<ZONEsama> then its okay, right?

<TurtleShroom> ........

<TurtleShroom> ZK........

<Ninjinian> For some reason a beef with TS always occurs...

<XTUX345> LOL

<TurtleShroom> No, no it's not.

<TurtleShroom> It's not because most people use it to mean "rear".

<ZONEsama> but its not meaning your behind

<Ninjinian> -_-

<ZONEsama> if I were to say it like

<TurtleShroom> I know that, but most people interpret it to mean rear.

<Ninjinian> Can't a sorry fix this?

<TurtleShroom> ZK refuses to apologize.

<TurtleShroom> He's going to troll me until I actually cry like a wuss in RL and run off.

<TurtleShroom> Then he'll laugh and start cursing with Bible verses in brackets.

<Ninjinian> Allow it Zone

<ZONEsama> no I wont

<ZONEsama> im just saying

<TurtleShroom> Which he will also use to troll Christians and make them doubt their faith.

<ZONEsama> im not even trolling you man im just making a point

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<Ninjinian> Point made then

<Ninjinian> Hey Harryc

<TurtleShroom> After all, Ezekial 24 and that verse in Isaiah are hard for new Christians to stomach, ZK.

<TurtleShroom> I've been a Christian for years and I know my Bible.

<TurtleShroom> I know why those passages are there, but some Noob that just got saved is going to be like O_O

<Harryc> Harold camping had 6 bibles

<Ninjinian> Bang-out.

<ZONEsama> yeah, new christians would probably get...

<TurtleShroom> Harry, don't even BRING Harry into that.

* TurtleShroom gives voice to Harryc

<ZONEsama> pissed (Isaiah 36:12) about it

<TurtleShroom> ZK, that is not funny.

<XTUX345> Harold Camping misinterpreted the bible

<TurtleShroom> I want you to promise me, before these witnesses, that you will stop doing this.

<XTUX345> Grossly

<TurtleShroom> After I leave.

<Ninjinian> He won't do it again... right Zone?...

<TurtleShroom> Don't. Please, ZK, I respect you and I always thought you were a better person than what you're doing to me.

<ZONEsama> alright fine ill stop

<TurtleShroom> Troll or not, I thought you had moral standards.

<Ninjinian> And I swear ZK was his old name...

* TurtleShroom sighs with relief

<ZONEsama> ZK WAS my old name

<TurtleShroom> Thank you.

<Ninjinian> It should be Zone.. or Pogopunk.

<ZONEsama> the K left

<TurtleShroom> Thank you so much.

<ZONEsama> sorta

<ZONEsama> she went to dA

<TurtleShroom> Thank you.

<ZONEsama> then got banned

<TurtleShroom> Now, I'm off to other things.

<Ninjinian> Right

* TurtleShroom has quit (Quit: Ladies and gentlemen, TurtleShroom has disconnected from the IRC.)