I Remember

I Remember

I remember walking on the beach when we were kids. The crisp clashing of the waves, the cold sand underneath our feet, the warm sun beating down on us. We laughed, screamed to the top of our lungs, and chased each other around.

I remember going out to eat at our favorite restaurants. Waiting twenty minutes to get a table, eating delicious food, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. Arguing who would pay the bill and looking forward to when we could do it again. The excitement of not knowing where this would lead.

I remember the fights. The arguments, about mundane stuff that doesn't matter. I remember the good and the bad times. The moments when we wish we could stop time. I remember the love.

I remember all of the experiences we had together. The animals that entered and left our life. The children we had, grew up, and moved away to start their own lives. The jobs that we loved and the ones that we hated. The times we got sick and when we got better. The losses in our life and being there for one another. The unconditional love.

I remember the blood tests and the check up at the doctors office. The misery and crying on the ride home. The research, the monthly check out lines at the pharmacy, and the medicine. Calling and battling with insurances. The days that would get better and the days that would get worse.

I remember the wandering, the agitation, and the confusion. The weight loss and the denial.

I remember the faces of the nurses and the staff. I remember the countless trips to the nursing home. I remember struggles she had with the staff. I remember the dressing, the bathing, and her eating jello. I remember the inability to walk, smile, eat, live.

I remember the day of her confused face she had when she tried to recognize me. The tears that would flow from my eyes.

She forgot.

She forgot the beach, the sand under our feet, the sounds of the ocean, and the warm sun on our faces.

She forgot going out on dates and going out to eat.

She forgot the good and the bad. The happy experiences and the negative ones. Our children, our sicknesses, and our relationship.

She forgot me.

We were at the beach, the restaurants, on the dates, and had our anniversaries. We had children, had lives, experiences, and love.

The experiences we shared, the memories that we had, got taken out, remolded and put back. I remember the experiences. I remember and only I remember. I was at the beach. I was in love.

Only I remember.