derpy paperboy crap work in progress, YES means you can hold RIGHT at the end of the level to auto crash into a muh fug kid on a muh fug scooter.

screenshots of the derpy derp house patterns, only a couple of them matter probably (C,F,G,Y)
http://imgur.com/a/vVvlY

Pattern-A
(most common)
(super ahead after Wednesday)
M-NO
T-YES
W-YES
T-YES
F-YES
S-YES
S-YES
10:46


Pattern-B
(odd)
(opposite volks cues)
(QUICK 1st house force)
(this one sucks)
M-NO
T-YES
W-YES
T-YES
F-NO
S-?
S-?


Pattern-C
(second most common)
(volkswagen cues)
(this is the 10:44 one, duh)
M-YES
T-NO
W-NO
T-YES
F-YES
S-YES
S-YES
10:44.26
10:44.22
10:44.14


Pattern-D
(volkswagen cues)
M-YES
T-YES
W-YES (-1.08)
T-YES (-.38)
F-YES (+.38)
S-YES (+2.21)
S-YES (+2.22)
10:46.22


Pattern-E
(volkswagen cues)
M-NO (+.71)
T-YES (+.20)
W-YES (-.37)
T-YES (+.33)
F-YES (+.86)
S-YES
S-YES


Pattern-F
(LATE LATE 1st house force)
(all early death!)
M-YES
T-YES
W-YES
T-YES
F-YES
S-YES
S-YES
10:45ish


Pattern-G
(volkswagen cues sort of!)
(SLOW first house force)
M-YES
T-NO
W-YES
T-YES
F-YES (-.46)
S-YES (+.57)
S-YES (+1.67)
10:45.67


Pattern-H
(Dumb)
M-NO
T-?
W-?
T-?
F-?
S-?
S-?


Pattern-I
(1st house force AFTER completing the game once)
(Dog at the very end, wtf)
(Definitely want to run this one again)
M-YES
T-YES
W-YES
T-?
F-?
S-?
S-?


Pattern-J
(2nd house force)
M-YES
T-NO
W-Really lame tornado


Pattern-K
(SUPER LATE RED HOUSE force)
(Another annoying green car at end)
(Seems promising until Sat/Sun lagfest)
M-YES
T-YES (-.40)
W-YES (-1.26)
T-YES (-1.08)
F-YES (-.67)
S-YES (+1.96)
S-YES (+3.11)
10:47.12


Pattern-L
(aka Big Yellow House force)
(aka all spread out)
(aka another annoying green car at end)
M-?
T-?
W-?
T-?
F-?
S-?
S-?


Pattern-M
(aka where did the Big Yellow House go?)
(aka fucking dog at the end of Tuesday)
M-YES
T-NO
W-?
T-?
F-?
S-?
S-?


Pattern-T
M-YES
T-YES
W-?
T-?
F-?
S-?
S-?


Pattern-U (super ahead after Tuesday)
M-YES
T-YES
W-NO
T-?
F-?
S-?
S-?


Pattern-W (average after Monday, stupid green car)
M-YES
T-YES
W-NO
T-?
F-?
S-?
S-?


Pattern-X
M-NO
T-?
W-?
T-?
F-?
S-?
S-?


Pattern-Y (RiskbreakerY 10:47)
(all early scooters)
(probably the 10:43-10:42 pattern with scoots mcgee)
M-YES
T-YES
W-YES
T-YES
F-YES
S-YES
S-YES