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SCP-XXX(The Smartass N64)

By: a guest on Oct 7th, 2011  |  syntax: None  |  size: 1.96 KB  |  hits: 82  |  expires: Never
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  1. Item #: SCP-XXX
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  3. Object Class: Euclid
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  5. Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be stored in a standard storage unit at facility █████ inside an ordinary cardboard box.  Any personnel wishing to conduct an experiment with SCP-XXX should gain clearance with Dr. █████ █████.
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  7. Description:  SCP-XXX is a standard, unremarkable Nintendo 64 gaming console.  It has only one difference from a standard issue Nintendo 64 - Instead of the normal slot for game cartridges, SCP-XXX has a square hole where the slot should be.  When SCP-XXX is wired properly to a television and powered, the television it is connected to will turn on and will not turn off again til SCP-XXX is also turned off.  
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  10. When any form of gaming media is inserted into the hole on SCP-XXX, it will run the game in question without any issues, regardless of what system the game was designed for.  SCP-XXX is sentient, and will talk to whoever is using it, either by form of a deep male voice with a New-York accent projected from the speakers.  SCP-XXX speaks using slang common to stereotypical 60s gangsters.  SCP-XXX has an extremely rude and obnoxious personality, often making remarks to the user that irritate or anger them.  If damaged by the user, SCP-XXX will loudly swear at anyone in the vicinity and reduce them to tears, a state which will last til they are comforted with gentle caressing and soft murmurs.
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  13. If a DVD is inserted into SCP-XXX, SCP-XXX will reprimand whoever inserted it, jettison the DVD out at high velocities towards the offender's head, and turn off.  Dr. ██████ decided to insert a DVD a second time, to "see what it would do."  SCP-XXX functioned as normal, until Dr. ███ attempted to use it, at which point SCP-XXX said "What are you, a moron?"  before [EXPUNGED], resulting in █ injuries.  SCP-XXX did not function again for the rest of the day.  
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  16. For a full log of experiments ran on SCP-XXX, see XXX-Experimentation Log A.
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