Untitled

Just going to start where I left off

 

>breakfast passed like any other Sunday morning

>whiny sis pitched a fit because mini bro got one of the pancakes that she wanted

>it wouldn’t hurt the little lard to lose out one or two pancakes

>’column, we’re you going to the mall after church’ candy asks as she puts her plate in the sink

>I shrug, can’t talk with a mouth full of sausage, huehuehue

>’can I come with you today?’

>I shrug again

>swallow my food and tell her ‘if it’s ok with mom, I don’t care’

>candy leans her head around the edge of the wall that separates the kitchen and living room and asks mom if she can come with me after church

>mom is trying to get whiny sis hair brushed who is crying about how mom is trying to tear her head off

>mom doesn’t even listen to the questions, just tells her fine, whatever, just get ready because we have to go soon

>candy looks back and says ‘mom said it was ok’

>now I’m putting my plate in the sink ‘I heard, I’m not deaf’

>she sticks her tongue out at me

>I point a syrup covered fork at her and tell her to go get ready because I’m going to leave before everyone else does

>that’s why I get up and get dressed so early

>so I can leave before everyone else and enjoy a few minutes without my family around

>usually I would just take my bike but since candy wants to go with I’ll take my car today

>everywhere in town I go is within walking/biking distance so I hardly ever drive

>a few short minutes later and candy comes back wearing one of her Sunday dresses

>a blue sleeveless one that comes down to just above her knees

>it’s pretty plain but the color looks good on her

>shes wearing a high waiter denim jacket over it

>mom and dad fuss about her wearing sleeveless stuff but buy it for her anyway

>just make her cover up which makes no sense to me

>I ask her if she has something to wear after church or if she’s wearing that to the mall

>says she has something to change into in her purse

>ok then, time to go!

 

>we go outside front and get in my car

>ol’ blue

>crank her up and immediately go deaf because I forgot me and the bros had the music cranked the hell up the other day

>I turn the radio off and say ‘sorry’ and start back out of the driveway

>she says something about how she doesn’t mind it being so loud she just didn’t like the song

>how you gonna ride in someone else’s car and complain about the station?

>that’s like passenger seat rule #1

>the music is good whether you like it or not

>would you rather walk?

>im stopping at the stop sign at the end of the block and say ‘you left your shirt upstairs last night’

>’I meant to come back and get it later’ she’s staring out the window absent mindedly

>Yea I bet you did

>candy turns towards me suddenly, smiling, and says ‘I really like you’re shower, it’s so much better then the one down stairs.’

>I know it is

>im driving with one hand on the steering wheel, one elbow resting on my window

>’you can use it if you want’

>candy seems pleasantly surprised ‘really?’

>’sure, just don’t use all my shampoo and shit’

>I buy the good kind to keep on my shower because I like to look and feel my best

>I get the urge to herbal

>before she can comment I add ‘and don’t use it as an excuse to come up there and fool around all the time, either’

>’I didn’t think I’d need an excuse’ she replies, this funny half smile on her face

>’yea, I bet you didn’t,’ making a left turn and checking traffic, so I’m facing away from her at moment, ‘I bet you probably want to do something right now’

>when I look back over after making my turn, she looks kind of confused ‘like, pull over somewhere and do something?’

>’no, not pulling over’ I explain, ‘then we’d be late and people would ask questions’

>’you mean do something while you’re still driving? You can’t do that,’ candy says, skeptical

>but, oh yes I can

>’you don’t think?’

>she shakes her head

>’ok then, spread your legs.’

 

 

 

>candy looks at me like she doesn’t believe me

>’I’m serious, spread’

>put my left had on the wheel and my right hand on her thigh

>she still doesn’t think I’m serious but she moves her thighs apart a little

>I rub her leg a little, each time making my way a little farther up

>still watching the road mostly, but I glance over every now and then and smile at her

>I run my fingers under the edge of her dress and keep working my way up

>she starts to takes things a little more seriously when I start running my fingers over the side of her panties

>panties

>im actually surprised she’s wearing any

>candy spreads her legs a little more while I rub her crotch though her panties

>’I thought you were joking’ she says, smiling

>’lean your seat back a little’ is my response

>she nods and fumbles around the side of the seat looking for the recline lever

>shes having a hard time finding it so I tell her to look behind the buckle latch

>she finds it and gives it a pull

>she says whoa as he seat goes too far back

>we both laugh as she readjust herself

>candy us sitting back at about a forty-five degree angel

>much easier for me to work with

>I run my hand up and slide it down the top of her drawers

>always wondered why they’re called drawers

>I’ve never seen them draw anything

>so now I’m rubbing candy’s slit nice and slow while driving nice and slow

>no hurry here

>I bend my finger and press it into her and she sort of says ‘oh’ and reaches up to grab the ‘oh shit’ bar above the door

>im not fingering her fast or hard, she’s just grabbing it to steady herself

>shes just sitting there quietly letting my finger her in my car on out way to church

>on our way to hell

>sorry Jesus

 

 

Thanks to the anon who pointed out a I missed a part, my bad

>it wasn’t anything wild or hot

>just me slow fingering candy for the next few miles

>I would swap between sliding my finger in and out and swirling it around

>candy leans her head back every now and then and goes ‘mm’ but she isn’t moaning like a whore or anything

>’see’ I say

>’hmm’ candy replies

>’I told you you could fool around in a car’

>’yes, you did’ she nods as she talks, like any normal conversation

>I don’t know why but that is kind of turning me on

>the fact that she’s acting like it’s no big deal

it’s actually kind of nice

>to be comfortable enough with someone that you can just finger them for fun

>on your way to church

>my dick is starting to get hard

>but its flopped over to the side

>sideways boner in snug fitting slacks

>very uncomfortable

>very noticeable

>’you mind giving me a hand?’

>’driving?’ confused candy is confused

>’no not driving, with that’ I might down with my chin

>lights go off over candy’s head

>’oh, yea, ok’ candy leans over and undoes my zipper

>fuck, I didn’t wear boxers today, can’t get my dick out

>I tell candy to undo my belt and she tries, but she can’t quite get it

>so I put my left knee under the steering wheel to hold it still and undo my belt myself

>sooo much pressure released

>all while I’m still giving her cunt the internal bird

>im more talented then mother fucking MacGyver

>I go back to driving with my left hand as she pulls my dick out of the top of my tights

>’that was pretty cool’ she comments on my skillz ‘where’d you learn that trick?’

>’I’ve learned a few things here and there’ I try to make myself sound more talented then I really am

>’maybe you’ll have to show me some more of your tricks later’ candy says as she starts to stroke

 

>we’re half heartedly masturbating each other as I drive down the road

>probably not the safest thing in the world

>but feelsgood

>shes not what I would call a professional, but she has the basics down pretty well from the other night

>candy is stroking my dick nice and slow

>suddenly she takes her thumb and rubs it across the tip of my penis

>well this is new

>where the fuck did she learn that

>startles me so bad I tap my foot on the brake pedal

>don’t completely stop but I do squeal my tires a little bit and we both kind of get jerkers forward in our seats

>we get situated again and candy laughs

>’did you like that’ she asks, smiling at me

>’I didn’t not like it’ dude, I totally liked it

>she smiles and does it again, but slower then she did the first time

>’ok, then this will be one of MY tricks’

>’that’s fine with me’ I answer

>we’re about two miles away from out destination and I’m starting to feel it in my nuts

>I shift in my seat a little bit, but nope

>’that’s probably enough for now’ I tell her as I start focusing on holding back my nut

>think about kittens

>think about anything but the urge to cum

>’what? But you’re not.. you havent, you know..’

>shes still rubbing my dick

>im still fingering her, but slower

>I don’t think she’s feeling it like im feeling it

>im definitely feeling it

>’yea but I don’t want to cum right now’ I tell her

>’why not’ she asks all nonchalant

>shes not stopping though and neither am I

>’because it’ll be hard to explain the stains on my pants if I bust a nut all over them’

>fine, fine’ candy finally relents and let’s go of my dick

>none too soon, I was holding back so hard my butt hole was starting to hurt

 

>she didn’t even try to put my junk back up for me so now I’ve got a dick flopping around in my lap as I drive

>jee thanks how unprofessional

>well its not going to put itself back up

>I pull my finger out of her reluctantly and start trying to tuck him back in

>if you’ve ever tried to out a mostly erect penis back into tight underwear under khaki slacks while driving, then you know the struggle is real

>candy laughs at me as I try to wrangle my penis back into his lair

>the beast has been awoken, and he is angry not to be satisfied

>she thinks it hilarious

>of course all she has to do is straighten up her dress

>my male privileges right?

>I finally get him back in and zip my pants up, but I’ll have to wait until we get there to button and fasten my belt

>by now I notice my finger still has a nice shiny layer of juices on it

>nothing to wipe it off on but my clean cloths

>so I do what anyone else would do and pop my finger in my mouth and suck it clean

>virginfags will debate for hours over what vagina taste like

>pussy tastes like pussy

>and hers isn’t bad

>but she finds my move lesss than appealing

>she shakes her hands in the air and scrunches up her face and says ‘eww, column, that’s sick’

>I wipe my clean finger off behind the knee of my pants and shrug

>’not really’ is all I say

>’yes really’ she argues ‘you’re absolutely disgusting’

>’hey’ I try to defend myself ‘you’re the one that had cum in you, not me’

>’yea, but that’s..’ she pauses for a second ‘that’s not the same, it wasn’t in my mouth’

>I kind of turn my head her way a little but before I even have a chance to speak

>she adds all super serious sounding like she’s my mom or something ‘don’t you even think about it, mister!’

>I smile and shrug ‘I’m not going to make you do anything you do want to do’

>’good’ she says as she crosses her arms over her chest ‘because I do NOT want to do that’

>and then we make it to church

 

>the parking lot is already half full when we get there because we don’t make it until after Sunday school

>because fuck waking up an extra hour early on Sundays, that’s why

>they’d best be glad my fake ass family even attends at all

>really, me and candy are the only ones that are even half interested in being Christfags

>candy more so then me

>well, maybe also mini bro

>loves his little ass some VeggieTales

>candy loves the songs

>ok I’m not going to lie, I do too

>one year, at a locking at church, I dressed us as Larry the Cucumber

>alright so I just had a green sleeping bag over me

>but I sang the entire Hairbrush song

>fuck yea the hairbrush song

>also so cheeseburger

>also so love song about a hamburger sung by a gourd

>epic

>any fucking ways

>I park a few empty spots away from the nearest car because my pants are still unfastened and it wouldn’t do well to have some old church lady walk by and catch a peek

>I lean back my seat just a little and zip and button my pants

>quick tuck my shirt and buckle up my belt

>ty to act all cool about it, but I still have a fairly obvious crotch bulge

>we get out of my car and praying to sweet baby Jesus to put my chub to sleep

>but Jesus had turned a deaf ear to me

>and I walk across the parking lot with a semi running against me thigh

>im wishing to myself that candy is as uncomfortable as I am

>but this little bitch looks perfectly normal

>just any good little girl in a blue dress headed to church, smile on her face any everything

>you would never guess that she just gave her own brother a half assed handy in his car

>I sure hope the sermon isn’t about sexual immortality

 

 

>we get inside and immediately start getting greeted by everyone over 50

>old people, mainly women, who camp by the doors so they can say hello to everyone

>you better make sure to say hello back

>mother fucking granny ain’t playing around, son

>shes going to greet you so hard yo babies are gonna say hello

>god, I hope I’m not like that when I’m old

>I’ll be the old man who stands by the door and says ‘the fuck you want’ to everyone that walks by

>years of playing Resident Evil have taught me how to avoid the zombies without wasting any ammo

>when we get to the sanctuary, I make an immediate right turn and sit on the back row

>it’s where I always sit

>not because I’m a brooding moody bastard

>I just don’t like people sitting behind me

>I don’t like people watching me if I can’t watch them back

>candy was in front of me and didn’t notice me sit down so she walks a few more isles up

>finally realizes that I’m not tailing her anymore and doubles back

>she tells me to scoot over but I say know because I like to sit on the edge because of the arm rest

>she says she wants to sit at the end too

>tough shit kid

>says she’ll sit in my lap then

>I do a quick look around to make sure there is no one within earshot because she’s not even trying to be quiet

>I grab her jacket sleeve and pull her a little closer and kind of loud whisper ‘don’t you even think about it’

>candy responds by rolling her eyes and slapping me with her purse

>’I didn’t mean like that, god’

>don’t know if she’s being honest or not though

>she tells me to scoot over again, I tell her no again

>she says I don’t have to be such a jerk, I tell her she doesn’t have to come with me after church

>candy does one of her signature ‘uuuugh’s and gives up

>she steps over my legs and starts sliding past me, but ‘trips’ and ends up sliding her ass across my lap

>I push her over into the spot next to me and cut her a dirty look

>candy just crinkles her nose and sticks her tongue out at me

 

 

>a few minutes later and the rest of our family shows up

>they come in from the other sanctuary entrance and don’t seem to notice up

>it’s just mom and dad and whiny sis

>mini bro goes to children’s church in the back

>probably watching veggie tales and eating cookies

>why can’t normal church be that awesome

>im going to start a church one day that has cookies during the service

>best church ever

>im watching my mom talk to all the other middle aged women as she and the other two slowly make their way closer to the front

>I kind of scoff under my breath because I know she’s just going to go home and talk shit about almost everyone here

>oh but while she’s here, she’s their best friend

>model Christian

>perfect mother

>I hope she burns in hell

>service is going to be starting soon so the hustle and bustle starts to die down and people start finding seats

>whiny sis is walking down the aisle looking around

>spots us on the back row and does a chubby kid run over to where we are

>shes walked maybe thirty feet and she’s already out of breath

>I look at the little turd and say ‘what?’

>’mom wants to know *pant* if you’re going to *pant* sit back here’

>before candy can answer, I do ‘she’s sitting back here, isn’t she?’

>whiny sis gets a look on her face like that wasn’t the answer she wanted and goes blubber running back up front to where our parents are

>couldn’t tell from this far back but it looked like my mom wasn’t very happy about candy sitting in the back with me

>fuck her and what she thinks

>pastor steps up to the pulpit and everyone stops murmuring

>pastor ‘god is good’

>congregation ‘all the time’

>every fucking Sunday

>doesn’t seem cultists at all (sarcasm)

>this is why kids with bad haircuts shoot churches up

 

 

>the preacher man starts things off the same way he always does

>he’s so glad to see everyone this morning

>glad everyone could make it to the house of the Lord

>going to be a wonderful day, he can feel it

>same script as every Sunday morning

>after all the pleasantries are taken care of, the pastor tags out with the song leader

>I have to admit, I actually like old hymns

>potable my favorite part of church is singing

>you can sound like shit and still get away with singing out loud

>not that I sound like shit

>the only problem is there’s only one hymnal on the back of the pew in front of us

>and I already have it

>candy motions for me to give it to her

>I shake my head, too busy trying to find the right page

>she reaches for it and I move it to the side too far for her to grab

>so she tries to punch me in my hip

>hits me right on the pelvis bone and actually hurts like a sunuvabich

>hurts her too cause now she’s shaking her hand

>I give her a ‘serves you right’ smile

>she just pouts

>fakest of fake pouts

>I roll my eyes and reluctantly hand her the hymnal

>whatever I know most of the words to every song we sing at this church anyway

>candy responds in turn my side hugging my left arm and giving me a big ol’ smile

>so we see, la de da and all that noise

>as I figured, I know most of the words

>I draw s blank of a few of them though

>I either just hum or try faking my way through it

>I completely bungle one whole line of Holy Holy Holy

>well I don’t mess any of the lyrics up, I just get two of the verses mixed up

>candy notices and laughs

>so I poke her in the ribs

 

>she jerks so hard that she almost drops the hymnal she bugged me so much for

>in an act of revenge, she pokes me back

>I jump, but not nearly as hard as she did

>because I’m a man and I can take it

>but I can’t just let her get away with that

>so I slowly reach over with enough stealth to make a master ninja jealous

>and pinch her right on the ass

>this time she does more then just twitch really hard

>she ‘eeps’ quite audibly and tosses her hymnal about two feet in the air

>despite her best efforts to catch it, which were good, just not good enough, it comes crashing down onto the pew in front of us, which luckily was empty, but makes a horrific noise

>a few people, including an ass old lady a few rows in front of us, turn to see what the commotion is

>I mean this lady looks like mumra

>shes probably plotting how to defeat the Thundercats and taken over third earth as we speak

>but right now, she’s just mad at us

>how dare someone make a noise during their time to praise the Lord

>He (the Lord) might get distracted or something

>I make eye contact with the old biddy staring at us

>then I look at candy who’s still trying to collect her song book

>I look back at mumra and shrug

>she makes a rather unpleasant face and turns back around

>at least she didn’t call on the spirits of evil to release her true form

>candy has finally collected herself

>her face is as red as a beat

>I laugh at her a little, but not too much

>she whispers something about how mean and a horrible person I am

>Yea yea I’m so mean, whatever

>song time ends without any more problems

>then it’s tome for the meet n greet

>dunno of you’ve ever been to an old Baptist church before, but between the singing and the actual sermon, there’s a five to ten minute period where everyone gets up, walks around, and hugs/shakes hands with everyone else in their immediate vicinity

 

 

>that’s another reason why I like to sit in the back

>no one ever comes back here to bother you

>no one SEES you in the back, so why bother?

>the whole point is to let as many people as possible know you’re here

>like ‘put another notch on my belt, I’m in church again’

>it doesn’t count if you shaken someone’s hand or hug someone’s neck if other people don’t see you do it

>I, on the other hand, don’t give a rat finkling ass who knows I’m here

>im not here for them, or for the pastor, or even for mumra

>im here for me, so leave me the fuck alone and let me sit in the back

>but I’m not alone

>something catches my attention in the corner of my eye

>candy is standing by me with her hand out

>what?

>when she’s sees that I see her she emphasizes her hand even more

>ah, I forgot she’s used to sitting up front with all the ‘see me’s

>whatever, I’ll indulge her since she doesn’t know better

>I reach over and give her the most absolutely half-assed, floppy armed handshake

>’good morning mister column’ she says as she over enthusiastically shakes my hand

>our arms looks like one long piece of silly putty stretched out too long

>I just roll my eyes and scoff

>’good morning to you too’

>shes still shaking my hand/arm ‘I’m so glad to see you this morning’

>getting kind of bored of this ‘yea, you too’

>shes not ‘how have you been this week?’

>my shoulder is starting to go numb ‘I’ve been better’

>Jesus Christ this girl could just doesn’t quit ‘is something wrong?’

>ok, we’re done here ‘just this one reeeally annoying person that won’t quit bugging me’

>I give my arm a good whip that rolls all the way up her shoulder and makes her stiffen up

>world’s longest handshake is finally over

>candy is just staring at me with this blank expression

>everyone is starting to go back to their seats so we sit down too

>shes kind of looking off to the side a little

 

 

 

 

>service starts

>it’s about king David

>how he was ‘a man after gods own heart’

>even though he did some fucked up shit

>his dad sent him to take some food n shit to his brothers during a war

>first of all who fucking does that

>then this little shit shows up and is all like 'why are you niggers sitting around on you asses?’

>his brothers tell him to stfu because he’s like 10 and doesn’t know what he’s talking about

>then this little shit goes out to the battle field and challenges the baddest mother fucker to step up

>Goliath online

>Roger that tac-com

>baby DaVid uses Rock Throw

>CRITICAL HIT

>IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE

>Goliath fainted

>so get this, Goliath was a giant, right? His shit was so big he had a servant just to carry his shield for him

>but baby David just picks up his sword and lips his head off with it

>that makes sense

>and this entire army runs away because some kid killed one guy

>so now David’s brother are like ‘wtf David that’s not how war works’ because he showed them up

>shouldn’t have been such candy assed fags

>ANYWAYS

>fast forward a few decades

>baby David is now king David, he took over as king in place of his best friends dad who tried to kill him because he played the harp too well

>true story, go read it

>now king David is just jellin like Magellan one day and sees this chick bathing on her roof like a creeper

>because that’s how the bathed back then

>and he decides he wants in on that action

>one catch, she’s married

>fuck that shit David is king

>king David drafts roof girls hubby in the army

>sends him to the North Wall

 

 

>alright, so roof chicks husband gets sent to war, because back then they were always at war in the middle east

>oh wait

>they still are

>9/11

>’Merica

>so this guy can’t melt steel beams with jet fuel and gets killed

>and it’s king David’s duty to console his wife

>consoles her with that royal dick

>later on this wondering prophet named Nathaniel drops by for a visit

Tells king David it’s story tiem

>once upon a time there were two niggers

>one niggers had all the mother fucking sheep

>then other niggers only had one sheep

>in true nigger fashion, the first niggers steals the second niggers sheep because he thinks he deserves to have all the sheep

>this was before bicycles so they stole sheep

>king David becomes outraged at such niggerage

>demands to know who this sheep stealing nigger is

>Nathaniel is all like ‘git gud David you’re the nigger’

>aw sheeeiiit

>king David weeps because he’s a sheep stealing nigger and doesn’t pay his child support

>but he’s still a biblical ‘hero’

>moral of the story is that God can love and use murdering, adulterous, sheep stealing nigger kings

>kind of makes me feel better about my situation

>I may have touched my sister

>but at least I’m not a nigger

>damn I’ve said that word a lot lately

>but anyways

>I feel this is gods way of saying ‘don’t feel too bad, there are worse mother fuckers out there’

 

 

>the sermon ends and they do the invitation

>ask if any mother fuckers want to come get some Jesus

>this is usually the part where I dip

>nudge candy and motion with my head for her to follow me

>she looks back to the front and back at me

>im not going to wait come on

>I get up and start walking and she gets the message and follows me

>we get down one of the side hallways that’s leads it side and I tell her to wait

>got to get my mall cloths on

>I have all my stuff in this little sporty backpack I carry around with me almost everywhere I go

>I duck off into a utility room to the side

>just a ten by ten closet with a few shelves stocked with paper towels, plastic cups, other shit, and a best up old washer and dryer set

>but the door locks and no one ever comes this way so this is where I change in peace

>usually

>this time I have candy with me

>I mean hell, we’ve seen each other nude

>but suddenly the idea of changing in front of her is weird

>Apparently not to her though

>the minute the door is locked she takes off her jacket and pulls her dress up over her head

>next thing I know she’s standing there in nothing but her blue bra and white panties and flats rolling her dress up in her hands

>damn she has a perfectly smooth, cream colored body

>she bends over to take over her flats and hnnng

>dat perdectly round little ass

>making my dick twitch again

>not enough room in my pants for a boner but hers trying his best

>I quickly untie my shoes and take them off, then unfastened my belt and unbutton my slacks

>my dick is so erect it almost pops the button off my pants

>ok so I’m exaggerating but you get the idea

>she glances over and get the idea as well

>’wow column, did you get hard already?’ shes looking at my dick with a big ol’ grin on her face

 

 

>oh ffs

>not this

>not now

>yes this

>yes now

>’hurry up and get dressed’

>shes does HER look and says ‘you sure do stay hard a lot column’

>I tell her to shut up and get dressed again, I’m trying to dig my shorts out of my bag

>but candy slowly edges my way

>when I look up, she’s all up on me and I almost get a face full of crotch

>’candy’ I exclaim ‘put your god damn cloths on so we can go’

>she outs her finger on her lip and goes ‘oooh, you shouldn’t say that in church’

>really?

>that’s where you draw your moral lines?

>’then out your gosh darn cloths on so we can go’ I more growl then say

>really don’t need this right now

>my ding dong wants to dong her dinger, dang it

>but no

>she puts her hands on her hips and kicks them to the side with a huff

>’you’re going to walk around all day like that?’

>’no’ thank fully, I’ve found my shorts and am trying to get them unrolled enough to put on ‘it’ll go down on its own eventually’

>’aww’ candy pouts, taking extra effort to stick her bottom lip out

>’candy, listen’ I finally have my shorts where I can get them on and start working one leg in ‘you can’t just fool around every time you get turned on, or else all you’d do is do it, especially when you’re, ya know, young and horny, or else you’ll just get bored of it’

>ha ha

>bored of it

>im so fucking hillarious

>’o..ok’ she says, nodding

>but just when I think I’ve dodged the bullet, it ricochets off the washer behind me, nearly knocks a box of detergent off the shelf, bounces off the floor and hits me right in the face

>’we can’t do it every time’ she grabs my shorts before I pull them all the way up ‘but let’s do it this time!’

 

 

 

>candy has that determined look in her eyes

>those brown eyes staring at me from behind her glasses

>those little creases across her nose as she smiles

>it looks like she’s entirely too frisky for me to talk her out of it

>but I really have to try

>’candy, no’ I say in a loud whisper ‘we can’t do anything here. How would we? And how would we clean up when we got done?’

>have I mentioned how candy is entirely too smart for herself sometimes?

>’we can do it standing up’ she says with a grin ‘and there’s a sink in the back, we can just wipe off when we’re done’

>she crinkled her nose in a mock-disgusted look and adds ‘if you don’t make too big of a mess’

>shes entirely too frisky to talk down at this point

>and the prayer and intercession usually carries on for a good ten minutes or longer

>maybe

>with a sigh, I say this line in the most defeated way I have ever said it

>never before and never again have I spoken these words in such a manner

>it brings me sorrow and shame to remember how I said it

>’fine, take of your panties and let’s get this over with’

>Ugh

>I don’t know who I’m more frustrated with

>her for wanting this

>or me for giving it to her

>still, I haven’t sent a man to his death just so I could fuck his wife

>not as bad as king David

>thank you, bible stories, for giving me a reason to feel less guilty about molesting my sister

>see kids, you should read your bible!

>candy grins and does a quick little palm calm before throwing her arms around me in a hug

>an awkward half naked raging boner hug

>but it’s still a hug

>I give her a one handed back pat because I’m still trying to hold my shorts up

>shes not

>she steps back, drops her panties to the ground and steps out of them and asks

>’so, how do you want me?’

 

 

>how about fully dressed, not locked in a broom closet with me, and acting like a normal sister?

>no?

>well I guess I’ll just have to make the best of it then

>my brain is still trying to call me out

>but my dick gives zero fucks

>actually, the little bastard probably would give a fuck or two

>sigh

>on one hand, she’s my sister

>and twelve

>on the other hand, she practically begging me

>and she is kind of hot

>for a 12yo

>and my sister

>with a reluctant sigh I drop my shorts

>’come over here’

>I step out of my shorts and pick them up with my foot ninja style, grab them, set them on a nearby shelf

>I lead her over towards the pair of old Maytag appliances and say ‘if we’re going to do this, we have to be quick’

>candy makes me way over spryly and I pat the edge of the washer

>’here, um, kind of just hold on to it, like.. like you’re going to get a spanking or something’

>’am I going to get a spanking’ she asks as she puts her hands on the edge of the washer

>she sets her feet about should width apart and stands erect, looking over her shoulder at me

>fuck you candy how can you be so fucking innocent and seductive at the same time

>the fact that she’s making me want to do what I do want to do makes me mad, but at the same time is kind of hot

>whatever

>just bust a nut and clean up

>shouldn’t tale too long

>my flag is already at full mast

>he just needs to catch a good breeze

>time to out him to the wind

>I step up behind her and pull down my drawers

>as I run the head of my cock between the bottom of her ass cheeks she reminds me ‘just don’t put it in, ok?’

 

 

>just don’t put it in

>yea, ok, I can live with that

>shes shorter then I am so I have to bend my knees a little to get my dick to go under her

>but I make not work

>I grab the bottom of my shaft with my left hand and start slow humping/jacking off between her thighs

>’here, like this’ I say as I reach around her with my right hand

>I reach across her waist and down above her crotch

>I pull her hips back and out a little

>she figures it out and curves her back some ‘like this?’

>’yea’ just like that

>this girl

>she has the best hips and just enough meat on her

>and it’s such a perfect shape

>shes going to be fucking gorgeous when she’s older

>shes fucking gorgeous now

>I’ve never found twelve year old girls to even be remotely attractive sexually

>but right now, looking at that butt, with my dick sliding back and forth just under her cheeks

>this is hotter then the ten sexiest pornos I’ve ever watched combined

>and I only watch the good shit

>it doesn’t help that she’s still looking over her shoulder at me

>she doesn’t have cat eyes, she doesn’t look full of lust

>shes smiling

>fucking smiling

>and when we make eyes contact she grins and giggles

>shes enjoying this

>not just getting off to it but actually honestly enjoying it

>and really, so am i

>im not just doing it to bust a nut

>I could run one out alone just ad easy

>but she’s enjoying herself

>shes happy

>and that makes me happy

>and also dat ass

 

 

>I start playing with her little fire patch since my hand is right there

>really it’s more like a bonfire

>but still

>it’s so soft and fluffy

>but I finally work my hand lower and start rubbing her pussy

>it’s already so wet the she’s slick to the touch

>I rub around a little bit with my fingertips looking for her clit

>I know I found it when she inhales sharply

>shes starting to get into the spirit of things and moving her hips back and forth a little

>’mmm’ she moans

>then laughs, probably at herself

>’we have to be quick, ok’ I whisper in her ear as I lay my chin on her shoulder

>candy responds by nodding and saying ‘keep that up and we will be’

>’fine, just don’t be too loud’

>she isnt being loud, just breathing heavy

>she gasps as I run my finger down and slide it in her

>candy’s rocking her ass against me while I slowly finger her and rub my cock

>shes so fucking wet I decide to give two in a chance

>I can hear her hissing through her teeth as I start pushing my middle finger in

>but I go slow and careful and see takes it like a champ

>when I finally get it all the way in her she relaxed a little and moans ‘oh, column..’

>I don’t want to hurt her to I finger her nice and slow

>but she wants it whether she knows it or not

>shes dipping her hips forward every with every stroke trying to get my fingers back in her deep

>I can do justice explaining her little move

>but its hot as hell

>I lean back off of her a little bit while she works to get a look at her ass again

>Jesus fucking Christ

>and it’s even better because at this angle it looks like I’m actually fucking her

>I start rocking my own hips to add to the illusions while keeping my hand around the base of my shaft

>now I can feel the head of my cock pressing again the knuckles on my two fingers as we both grind

>holy fuck in right up against her pussy again

>suddenly have an idea

>but it’s a bad one

 

 

>shes starting to move a little faster now, and so am I

>really starting to feel that ‘I’m getting there’ feeling’

>Candy moans ‘mmmm’ again and again chuckles at herself

>’you’re so weird’ I tell her while I curl my fingers around, digging them into her to the hilt

>’you.. too..’ she pants between giggles and breaths

>I push my fingers in a little harder and she succumbs to her young lust

>she moans my name again in a deep, breathless voices and crosses her arms wrist over wrist on the washing machine, laying her head and shoulders over it

>this kicks her ass up a little more and my fingers slip out for a split second

>shes moving her hips trying to find them again and making the cutest little whine

>right when I’m about to slide them back in, she dips and rolls her hips

>right up into my cock

>please

>don’t

>go

>in

>age cranes her head up and moans again as she pushes her cunt back again my dick

>good morning, mister dick, why don’t you come in and stay awhile?

>why thank you, miss pussy, maybe just a short visit

>oh fuck fuck fuck

>I completely freeze

>but if I couldn’t tell the head went in just from the sensation, which I could, I run my fingers down in a v, one down each side of my dick and her cunt, just to be sure

>’oh, god, column..’ she buries her face in her arms

>she hasn’t noticed

>she isn’t stopping me

>fuck

>im stopping me

>WILL POWER LIKE A MOTHER FUCKEEEEEER

>but

>im not really fucking her

>just sort of

>masterbating

>in her

 

 

>cautiously, I slide my right hand back up around her waist around to her ass

>I wouldn’t let go with my left hand to save my life at the moment

>Death grip on my cock to make sure it doesn’t go anywhere

>or at least so if it does I’ll feel like it wasn’t my fault

>I grab her cheek and squeeze it before pulling it to the side a little

>her little pink butt hole is exposed, but that’s not what I’m interested in

>just below it, separated by a thin little pinch of gooch, I can see the end of my penis disappear

>into her

>fuck

>shes still dipping her hips rhythmically, and each time I see the swollen, purple hued head of my cock slide out of her, only for it to be swallowed back up as she sinks herself back down an inch past the foreskin

>hole

>lee

>shit

>but I’m not moving

>so technically im not fucking her

>just letting her grind her pussy against my dick

>the inside of her pussy against my dick

>but since I’m not moving, it’s not sex

>that’s my logic and I’m sticking to it

>but my god

>as I continue to watch in awe the beautiful sight of my little sisters cunt try to take my dick in over and over, I imagine how easy it’d be

>to just grab her hips and go all the way with her

>to shove every inch of my throbbing hard cock into the warm, inviting cunt

>to blow a load a load so thick and deep it’d never sea out

>to fuck my sister

>even as I’m thinking it, I’ve absent-mindedly taken my left hand off my dick and placed it on her other ass cheek

>using a thumb on each hand, I keep her spread and just watch

>until I finally slide my hands up to her hips

>im still not moving, just helping her move

>pushing lightly when she rolls forward, pulling gently when she dips back

>but I’m still not fucking her

 

 

>she exhales heavily as she starts rolling her hips a little faster

>shes so into it that she completely oblivious to the fact that I have both my hands on her hips

>im completely oblivious to the fact that I should be guilty

>Jesus Christ I just want to pull her down on my dick until I can’t see it anymore

>but I mustn’t

>my internal conflict is so strong as this point

>Tibetan monks would be proud of my internal fortitude

>demon on one shoulder

>angel on the other

>’fuck her dude, fuck her’ says little red me

>’remember the rule, you can’t put it in her’ replies little white me

>’whatever, you practically already are in her’ demon me says ‘and besides, look at that ass’

>angel me run his chin as he looks down ‘that IS a nice ass..’

>all I have to do is give her waist one good tug and it’s over

>’buuut..’ little angel me straightens his halo out ‘the one thing she said not to do was out it in.’

>damnit, conscious, y u do dis?

>the moment I’m ready to give in and take her, my mind starts to think about the what ifs

>what if she doesn’t appreciate me breaking the rule

>what if she tells someone

>what if the whole goddamm church finds out I raped my sister

>that pussy would probably be the best poon ever to caress my dick

>but it wouldn’t be worth the repercussions were things to go south

>im not built for prison

>also, there is the fact that she is my baby sister, and I don’t want to do anything to hurt her

>but damn

>it’s even worse now because she’s just moaning and saying my name and making all sorts of cute mother fucking noises

>’mmm, column.. hnn, column.. huu, column..’

>aw fuck

>it’s can’t do this anymore

>I start to pull her back against my dick more

>she gasps as she takes another half an inch

>but no

>the rule

>I can’t

>damnit

 

 

>it takes every last ounce of mental strength I have to best my cock’s carnal desires

>in a last ditch effort to keep from running the entire length of my dick into candy’s cunt, I grab her by the waist, yank what portion of myself is in her out, spin her around, and push her back against the appliance

>her hair is a disheveled mess with a few curled locks of her bangs sticking to the sweat on her forehead

>her brown doe eyes are big with lust and surprise

>I quickly grab my cock with my right hand and slide two of my left fingers into her

>she gasps softly and relaxes her knees a little, lower her weight onto the hand a have cupped under her crotch, bending her elbows back over the washing machine to help hold herself up

>im fingering and rubbing at full speed

>ain’t no brakes on this train

>Choo choo, mother fucker

>shes locked eyes with me as she bites her bottom lip

>inhaling heavily through her nose

>I can feel her knees start to shake

>hell, I can feel MY knees start to shake

>then it happens

>that glorious moment

>time has stopped

>my soul is one with the cosmos

>all sense of being has vanished

>all that matters

>is that my dick is exploding

>fuck

>candy lays her head back and takes a big long breath as she pushes herself down on my fingers harder

>I can feel the inside of her cunt pulsing on my fingers

>im spraying nut all over her stomach

>we’re both panting

>im starting to break a sweat

>she a damn mess

>she leans forward, elbows still on the washer, and laughs

>can feel her vag squeezing my fingers as she laughs, kind of weird but ok

>’see’ she says with a grin ‘I new we had time’

 

 

>candy closes her legs and squeezes my hand between her thighs with my fingers still in her

>she shudders and little and mmmms

>ain’t for time for this shit

>’come on, candy, go get cleaned up’

>she sighs and rolls her eyes at me and says ‘fiiiine..’ before reluctantly straightening her legs and letting me full my digits out of her

>who the fuck calls fingers digits these days

>I just did mother fucker so deal with it

>I start collecting bits of clothing as candy goes over to the little wall mounted sink behind the appliances and turns on the water

>make sure to tell her to run it hot because cold water won’t clean jizz off very well

>she rolls her eyes and says she’s knows already because she’s had to clean so much off before

>oh right

>water gets hot right away because there us an instant water heater mounted under the sink

>me and dad installed it for free because church but whatever

>comes in handy now though because we don’t have to wait for hot water

>candy grabs a rag off a nearby shelf, wets it and washed herself off

>she hands it to me and I wipe off my softening peener as she gets a new rag and fries herself

>both rags are tossed in a basket by the washer

>hopefully whoever washes them won’t notice the crusty sperm stains and accompanying smell

>we start pulling are close back on and she giggles

>I ask her ‘what’s so funny?’

>she shakes her head, still giggly, and says ‘nothing’

>I put on my shorts and comic book character tshirt

>shes got on one of her everyday wear tshirts, penguins or some shit on it, and she’s tugging a pair of shoes khaki shorts up her legs

>my god watching her pull her shorts up though

>when a girls butt looks do good it’s just as arousing watching her get dressed as it is undressed

>but I will my dick to stay down

>things have already gone far enough for now

>too far even

>can’t chance losing all self control

>because if we get started up again, I probably will

 

 

>cleaned up

>mall cloths on

>church cloths put away

>time to go now

>I oh so quietly unlock and open the door and peek out

>we dingled our dongles a little longer then I though we would

>I can hear the sounds of people moving around and talk down the hall

>intercession time must be over but no one has come this way yet

>very good

>I give candy the ok let’s go signal and we head down the hall

>just a regular brother and sister

>nothing to see here

>everything is normal

>except it’s not

>but no one knows that

>anyways

>we make it out of the church without running into anyone and head straight for my car

>shes still got this stupid goofy grin on her face

>it’s kind of making me nervous so I ask her again

>’what’s so freaking funny?’

>’it’s nothing, don’t worry about it’ she says again as we get to my car

>it seems like something and I am worried about it so I press the issue as I crank my car up

>’tells me what’s so god da- what’s so gosh darn funny, or stop acting so weird’

>’ok ok, hang on’ she says as we start pulling out

>im not entirely sure, but I think she’s sitting there holding her breath

>this kid has problems

>but we pull out of the parking lot and turn onto the road heading back towards town

>candy exhales deeply and laughs

>before I can ask again what the hell she finds so hilarious she asks ‘do you think God is going to be mad that we did that? I mean, you know, because church is sort of his house and all?’

>do what ‘what are you talking about?’

>’you know, church is the house of god’ she explains like im four years old or some shit ‘we totally just did that in the house of god’

>yes, yes we did

 

 

>perhaps I’ll never understand the logic behind 12yo girl’s humor

>’I don’t think it really makes a difference’

>’of course it does’ she argues ‘it’s always worse if you do anything in church, lie, steal, cuss.. what we did’

>’how do you figure?’

>’because it’s church’

>oh that makes perfect sense

>with an eye roll I say ‘dude, do you think God cares about a building?’

>candy gives me a what do you mean look

>’god if, well, he’s freaking GOD’ I explain with all the confidence of a great philosophical teacher ‘he’s not limited just to a building just because humans build it and say it’s his. He’s everywhere at all times, and sees everything you do no matter where you do it’

>shes just listening so I go on

>’god doesn’t give a rats ass if you do it at home, on the streets, or in church, if it’s wrong it’d wrong and he sees you do it’

>’you don’t think it’s bad to do it in church then?’ she asks

>’it doesn’t matter where we do it, it’s bad’ I add not realizing how much emphasis I put on my answer

>’oh..’ dejected sounding response ‘you think it’s bad?’

>oh shit son you done hurt a feel

>you’re not supposed to hurt her feels

>feelsbad

>quick, say something to fix this or the whole trip to the mall will be awkward

>’I didn’t mean IT was bad’ I try to redeem myself with this explanation ‘I mean.. the act, what we’re doing, is morally questionable (by which I mean entirely wrong lol), and we would get into a lot of trouble if we ever got caught (we meaning me, of course), buy IT isn’t bad’

>’really?’ she’s giving me one of those big brown puppy dog eye looks

>fuck

>’yea really’ I answer, half pretending to be checking the lane beside me even though no one is coming

>’I’m not that good’ she responds, whether her self consciousness is an act or not, I can’t tell

>you’re not that experienced yet’ I try to console her ‘but you’ve definitely got.. talent’

>she kind of half smiles and says thanks

>’you’ll get better’ I assure her

>she’ll get better

 

 

>im talking trying to convince my 12yo sister about her sexual prowess

>which gets me to thinking

>my 12yo sister has sexual prowess

>damn

>now that I’m thinking about it

>I can’t stop thinking about it

>I mean

>I’ve got a gf

>and she’s pretty hot

>and no we fuck pretty regular

>but god damn

>now that I think about it, I haven’t even heard from her since me and candy started doing what we’ve been doing

>is my sexy really got me so good id go without actual dick in pussy sex just for a little glorified masturbation?

>I look over at her

>shes got her head turned looking out the window

>her strawberry curls on her shoulders

>her perfect cheekbones and jaw and that slim neck

>those little breasts that haven’t quite come in yet

>flat stomach without a hint of baby fat on it

>that waist and hips and ass like damn

>those solid, creamy legs

>fuck yea

>my sister is the shit

>is give up time with my gf to fool around with her

>and we’re not even sex yet

>but damn I would

>I mean I wouldn’t because she doesn’t want to

>but damn I would

>beep beep

>sitting at a traffic light thinking about my sister and the light turned green

>beep beep mother fucker

 

 

 

>candy is laughing at me

>’column are you spacing out?’

>’sorry’ I apologize as I start driving

>we’re almost there anyways

>shrug and add ‘had something on my mind’

>’what’ she asks curiously

>’nothing’ I mumble

>‘yea right nothing’ candy replies sarcastically

>you know what, fuck it

>as I start making the turn into the mall parking lot i ask her ‘you really want to know what I was thinking about?’

>’sure’ she says with all the glee of a 12yo sister

>’fine’ I say as I start looking for a decent spot to park

>I see one and make my way to it, and as I’m pulling in a state ‘I was thinking about how nice it be to fuck you’

>she goes to say something but then

>finally, shaking her head, she sort of mutters ‘column, we cant.. you cant.. we can’t have sex, column, you can’t actually put your thing in me you know’

>I shrug as I kill the engine

>’doesn’t mean I can’t think about it’

>’well.. you shouldn’t’ she stutters

>’why not’ I turn and look at her with an inquisitive, but not overly forceful look ‘do you think about it?’

>she does her open mouth but not speak ritual again

>her cheeks turns so red I can’t make out her freckles anymore

>shes looking me in the eye for a second and the looks away

>still hasn’t spoken

>I chuckle as I open my door and as I’m getting out I say ‘haha, you want your brother to fuck you’

>’I do not’ she exclaims as she hops out of her side

>’do too’ I tease

>’no I do not’ is she trying to convince me, or herself?

>we’re walking up the parking lot towards one of the side entrances, because I hate using the main one, and she’s matched my pace so we’re walking side by side

>’so you’re telling me that when we fool sound you never think about what it’d be life if I just went ahead and put it in?’

>’i.. well..’ she kind of misses a few steps and has to catch back up ‘it’s not that I haven’t ever thought about it.. its just that.. we just can’t, ok?’

 

>’it sure would be nice if you told me why’ I ask as we make it to the doors

>no fancy sliding doors here because it’s just a side entrance

>in proper fedora form I open the door for her and milady her in before me

>we walk a few yards in silence before she finally answers

>’I’m saving myself’

>you’re what now?

>after another pause she adds

>’for when I get married, I’m saving myself for when I get married’

>oh wow I’m not sure if it exactly counts as saving yourself at this point but ok

>I don’t say that out loud of course

>’candy’

>she kind of stutters steps and looks over at me ‘w.. what?’

>I stop walking, so does she, and look right at her

>I grab her shoulder, but not hard, and say ‘if we keep fooling around, sooner or later it’s going in you’

>candy shrugs my hand off her shoulder and looks at me with a half smile, have scrunch as says ‘uh, ew, no its not’

>I nod and make a very not serious face and say ‘uh, ew, yes it will’

>she hits me on and should and says ‘stop talking so rapey’ and starts to walk away

>I decide very carefully to say what I’m about to say and then say it

>’what if I told you I already did’

>candy stops short and turns on her heels

>’did what?’

>I shrug nonchalantly like it’s no big deal ‘put it in there’

>she puts her hands on her hips and looks at me defiantly from behind her lenses with those brown eyes

>’when?’

>I shrug again and pretend like im thinking ‘oh.. earlier at church’

>she gives that weird head turn looking down the bridge of her nose twist look that only females can give and says ‘no you did not’

>I nod and smirk and say ‘oh yes I did’ and then an explanatory ‘well, just the tip of it’

>oh’ she says with a blink as she relaxes ‘I knew that’

>oh?

>the fuck you mean, oh?

>tell fuck you mean, you knew?

 

 

>completely flabbergasted at this point

>’how did you know and why didn’t you try to stop me?’

>now she smirks

>’I kind of figured when you had both hands on me you weren’t using your fingers anymore’

>I look at her with a bit of both awe and shock and a hint of disbelief

>’but one of my friends at school said it really doesn’t count as long as it doesn’t go all the way in.. besides, I thought maybe you might..’

>I look at her very suspiciously and ask ‘might what?’

>she shrugs, then grins, then ungrins, then looks away, then finally says ‘nothing’

>I mean to ask again

>but she decides to answer before I can

>after a big huff and a sigh and crossing her arms and looking almost indignant she says ‘I kind of wanted to know what it would feel like if you.. if you.. if you did it inside me, you know..’

>I stare at her in complete stupidity for a while

>so long that she becomes visibly uncomfortable and embarrassed

>finally I speak

>’..you wanted me to cum in you?’

 

 

>she turns red again and puffs up her cheeks all anime style and takes a quick breath

>’no.. yes.. well..’ she loses all control over the English language ‘i.. I’m just curious. I don’t actually really want you to, but, I want to know what it feels like’

>im at a loss for words

>and you fuck yards know me well enough to know I’m never at a loss for words

>but fuck

>what can I say to that?

>since I can’t think of anything to say she keeps talking and making the situation more awkward

>’I mean, if feels good when we, you know, when we fool around.. I can’t make myself feel that good yet, I guess you’re just better.. and it feels really good when, welll, when you.. when you.. cum (she says that world very quietly like she’s speaking of he who shall not be named or some shit).. I don’t know, I thought, maybe, if you did it inside, it’d feel.. I don’t know, I wanted to know.. I..’

>oook

>that’s enough of that

>time to stop it before it get any weirder

>any weirder then my little sis talking about wanting to know what if feels like to have my hot jizz in her cunt

>my one fucking fetish

>fuuuuuck

 

 

>’candy’

>she stops stammering and snaps back to reality

>those big brown eyes are blinking in mild confusion

>’y.. yea?’

>I look at her as sternly as a possibly can, which as the moment isn’t all that because really I’m not too sure of myself

>’I don’t care how bad you want to know what that feels like, there is no way I can do that’

>sure there’s a way

>it’s actually pretty simple

>i just shove my dick in her raw and fuck her until I unload

>I’ve done it before with my gf in the heat of the moment

>bitch got mad as hell about it

>but candy is talking about how she wants to try it

>it’s taken every fiber of my self controller to keep from nutting this girl up

>and that’s when I thought I couldn’t get away with it

>now that I know it’s something she actively wants

>fuck

>hardcore fuck man

>she just planted a seed in my mind that could potentially grow into me planting seed in her

>I know that’s a no no

>but I want it to be a go go

>I take a deep mental breath

>I take a deep physical breath

>I repeat myself just in case there is any confusion, for either if us ‘touching each other is one this, but straight up cumming in you is something that can not happen, ok? You’re too young, you’re my sister, youre-‘

>I stop when I notice she’s doing that damn nose crinoline grin again

>now is not the time to be so fucking cute damnit

>I tilt my head and glare at her and say ‘what?’

>she shrugs and giggles and says ‘I was just thinking..’

>Yea, what?’

>another shrug and she says ‘well, if you keep trying to out it in, you’re going to eventually’

>god fucking damnit

>this little bitch just used my own logic against me again

 

 

>time for me to try to turn some tables

>dj Column gonna work some turntables

>I give her an almost sideways look and say ‘stop talking so rapey’

>’I’m not talking rapey’ she retorts looking taken aback ‘you’re the one that wants to put it in me, I just figured of you’re going to, you might as well do that while you still in there’

>she has a point

>fuck

>I hate when she has a point

>screw it all

>I’ve spent the last ten minutes talking about fucking and cumming in my sister

>and the worst part is we aren’t even being the shy about it

>why would we, we’re just a brother and sister that happen to want to use each others bodies for our own sexual satisfaction

>nothing unusual about that

>except everything

>god fucking damnit

>I do a very heavy body slouching sigh and start walking past her

>’where are you going’ she asks

>’to check on OogyBoogy’ I answer dismissively

>she catches up to me because I’m still walking and asks ‘what’s an OogyBoogy?’

>what’s an OogyBoogy?

>OogyBoogy is life

>OogyBoogy is love

>OogyBoogy is the meanest mother fucker ever to weird the Soul Edge

>he waits for me

>I go to him

>no, really, I bee-line to the arcade

>fuck yea arcade

>and right after it opens on a Sunday afternoon

>no one else is here yet

>I unload a twenty in the token machine

>chink chink chink chink

>game on mother fucker

 

 

>candy is curious abut OogyBoogy

>so I drop two tokens in the SC2 machine and show her

>’so, wait, OogyBoogy is a character on a game?’

>he’s not just a characters, he’s my character

>I explain to her how it works

>how you pick one of the characters from the roster

>name them

>and then kill everyone else’s characters

>I explain to her how OogyBoogy is a Nightmare character, and how there are plenty of other Nightmares, but how OogyBoogy is the best Nightmare

>actually OogyBoogy is the number 3 overall character

>behind a Maxi named Feng Shui and a Kilik named StickStick

>fucking Kilik and Maxi being faggots

>as a matter of fact I select Feng Shui as my player to fight against because I especially hate Maxi

>with his fucking Whoochas and Hwayas

>granted I actually own several nunchakus

>take two forms of martial arts

>and have competed on local tournaments

>I just mother fucking hate Maxi as a character and want to crush him

>so I pound away round after round

>I get a perfect, sweet, a ring out, some normal wins

>im showing candy how the combat works

>horizontal attacks, vertical attacks, the other attacks and guard

>I even pull off some of OogyBoogy’s unblockable moves because I’m such a badass

>then comes Feng Shui

>come on you greasy haired sumabich

>I deflect Feng Shui’s pathetic attempts at attacks and smash his add around like a rag doll

>I finish him off in style by knocking his ass down and doing that move where OogyMare impaled a grounded enemy with his sword and summons his evil lightning and shit

>I just realized OogyMare seems like a bad MLP name and shall never use it again

>friendship is fucking magic though

>any ol’ ways, I get my wins, only get like two or three levels though, and that’s that

>candy’s just standing there and asks ‘is that all?’