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8thSin

Outbreak Company

Oct 8th, 2013
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  1. OUTBREAK COMPANY
  2.  
  3. [Anime-Koi]
  4. *1:11 - DETAIL - "To be honest, it's great to have such a perfect candidate come along." --> "To be honest, I'm relieved to finally see a perfect candidate come along." -- Something implying "I was about to give up" should be added somewhere in this line.
  5. *7:57 - DETAIL/NUANCE - "Whoa! He answers directly to the government?" -- "government" should be "Cabinet" since "government" is too broad and may not be very impressive depending on the department. Additionally, the business card places him in a specific government branch under the Cabinet.
  6. *8:08 - SCRIPTWRITING - "Misunderstandings occur often in this line of work." --> "We wouldn't want any misunderstandings now, do we?" -- What happens later is not foreshadowed in this line.
  7. **9:14 - LOGIC/EDITING - "Thus Japan had a new neighbor in this strange new world." --> "Thus, Japan has become neighbors with this strange new world." -- Original line sounds like Japan is a part of the "strange new world". Furthermore, the line was in present tense, implying the wormhole is newly formed rather than hidden there all this time.
  8. 10:01 - NEGLIGIBLE/DETAIL - "a joint venture between Japan and the Holy Eldant Empire and this realm's first corporation." He indicates the company is 50% public, 50% private (Japanese companies) and funded by Japan and Eldant Empire. Hard to express in that line, but maybe add "Japanese company" as part of the joint venture or rephrase it as "semi-private government program".
  9. **10:44 - ERROR - "Every time we try to open an office, it's forced to close due to bad management." --> "Such companies always end up approving undesired products and bankrupt due to poor sales." -- 「箱物」 can be translated as "public building", but there is a connotation that the building is just a "box" because no one uses it (essential buildings like city hall, police station etc are not considered to be 「箱物」). Pretty much got the whole line wrong. The previous line needs rephrasing as well, because this sentence sounds like they've attempted to selling anime here few times already.
  10. *14:05 - SCRIPTWRITING - "I could run all day on the energy those ears give me." -- 「ご飯三杯」 lit. "three bowls of rice" is a common otaku analogy of liking type of food so much that you can eat 3 bowls of rice with it. Just means favorite. Can go as far as "I could fap with those ears alone." for this line.
  11. **16:29 - ERROR - "Why do you think we have free time?" --> "Why do you think we go on field trips?"
  12. **20:22 - ERROR - FIX TO: "You won't offend the Empress if you just follow our lead."
  13.  
  14. [Crunchyroll] ([HorribleSubs])
  15. *1:18 - ERROR - "...explain the duties of this position" --> "...tell me what your company does" --> Asks for the scope of the company's business activities.
  16. **8:45 - DETAIL - "An investigation found that it maintains / a three-dimensional spatial structure, / and connects our world to another." --> "An investigation found the hole punctures through our three-dimensional structure, / and connects one world to another." OR "Our research indicates that the hole extends beyond our three-dimensional space, and connects our world to another." -- A wormhole definitely does not maintain a world of its own.
  17. **10:44 - ERROR - "We can only build something, watch its administration degrade, / and close it down, time and time again." --> "Such companies always end up approving undesired products and bankrupt due to poor sales." -- 「箱物」 can be translated as "public building", but there is a connotation that the building is just a "box" because no one uses it (essential buildings like city hall, police station etc are not considered to be 「箱物」). Pretty much got the whole line wrong.
  18.  
  19. [Doki]
  20. *4:53 - ERROR - "Loud and clear, Master." --> "I'm pleased to hear that, Master"
  21. **5:58+6:00 - ERROR - "Security" --> "Confidentiality issues" -- simply having "security" sounds like physical safety rather than information protection / non-disclosure.
  22. *9:35 - NUANCE - "and the people on the other side were wise as well." --> "and the other side had some wise people as well." --> Original line sort of implies they're all intelligent.
  23. 10:01 - NEGLIGIBLE/DETAIL - "a joint venture between Japan and the Holy Eldant Empire and this realm's first corporation." -- He indicates the company is 50% public, 50% private (Japanese companies) and funded by Japan and Eldant Empire. Hard to express in that line, but maybe add "Japanese company" as part of the joint venture or rephrase it as "semi-private government program".
  24. **10:39 - SCRIPTWRITING - "But there are no government officials who are familiar with such things." --> "But nothing good can ever come out of government officials getting involved." - Nowhere is it implied they don't have experts in anime, nor relevant in context of his next line.
  25. **10:44 - ERROR - "The construction of a company building has been repeatedly suspended due to corrupt management." --> "Such companies always end up approving undesired products and bankrupt due to poor sales." -- 「箱物」 can be translated as "public building", but there is a connotation that the building is just a "box" because no one uses it (essential buildings like city hall, police station etc are not considered to be 「箱物」). Pretty much got the whole line wrong.
  26. *14:05 - NUANCE - "Those ears of yours are really something!" -- 「ご飯三杯」 lit. "three bowls of rice" is a common otaku analogy of liking type of food so much that you can eat 3 bowls of rice with it. Just means favorite. Can go as far as "I could fap with those ears alone." for this line. Very poor continuity to next line with the current translation.
  27. *15:35 - ERROR - "I see, she has other men too." --> "I see, there are other men here too."
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