yeet

					The story of how I got ISS
	It all started with my good friend Jake insulting the greatest man to have ever lived, Bob Ross, saying that he was inferior to such meager men like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln on the internet. I refused to read the spouting of an idiot and so I countered his idiocy with well thought-out, precise statements proving that Bob Ross, was in fact, the greatest man to have ever lived. Sadly though the best counter to intellect is stupidity, of which my friend had plenty of. The fight raged on for two hours until it finally ended in a stalemate leaving behind many capital letters and a cesspool of ad hominems. The next day though I had left my boring home-base and went through the hallways of the 8th  grade section of Oak Knoll Middle School and followed the path that many other corridors set out all the way to the men’s locker room of the school. Men’s locker rooms in any place are not exactly the place for cordial matters or sayings (hence why cursing is known as locker room language) and because of such the filter many usually polite people put on themselves fall off, leaving a man who no longer is recognizable, a man who has turned into a sailor. And so I found myself in such a fashion, sauntering into the locker room, announcing my entrance into the place such as a servant would announce a king is coming and to clear out of the way. In this place though lied my nemesis, the man who dared mocked Bob Ross, Jake. He dared to utter the phrase “Bob Ross sucks.” For such a man to spew such blasphemy with such confidence I couldn’t bear it. I threatened the man with death. This was no ordinary threat, it was a threat laced with profanity and it was shouted at the fool. Although of course this was meant completely in jest and was an empty threat, the authoritative ruler of the locker room, the teacher, heard my ultimatum and he came approached me as the police approach a criminal. He demanded my reasoning for daring to screech