eghhn

turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat
ectoBiologist [EB] joined chat
EB: hi dave!
TG: sup egbert
EB: sky's up.
EB: no wait, what.
EB: ceiling!
TG: oh god egbert you did not just say that
TG: man the level of uncool that was is off the radar
TG: the radar cant even reach it now
EB: hahaha.
EB: well at least i'm not alone.
EB: i'm pretty sure you're up there with me.
TG: no man im totally chill down here
TG: me and the radar are buds
TG: except not because it cant handle all that striderswag
TG: so im like off the radar but in a completely different sense from your off-radarness
EB: nope, you're up here with me.
EB: definitely not down there because then i wouldn't be able to talk to you.
EB: i'm sure there's no signal that far down.
EB: let's just be uncool together ok.
TG: thats the thing egbert the laws of wireless network dont even apply here
TG: but ok ill lower myself to you just this time
TG: since its you
EB: wow thanks.
EB: i feel the love.
TG: feel it man
TG: it takes over like a fucking wave
TG: wraps you up like a blankie
TG: envelops you like an envelope
TG: covers you like a cover
EB: nah, it isn't that great yet.
EB: your love for me is like
EB: a toe sock or something.
EB: it covers my toe.
TG: there isnt even such a thing as a toe sock what are you even on egbert
TG: what purpose would that serve
EB: ok fine.
EB: so i just invented it!
EB: it keeps your toes warm.
EB: like y'know, sometimes socks make your foot really sweaty and gross?
EB: yeah, so just keep your toes warm!
TG: ew john no
TG: i think youre the only one with the sweaty foot syndrome
TG: that is not a problem i have
TG: i wont buy your shitty toe-socks
TG: keep them and your sweaty feet to yourself
EB: ow ow ow.
EB: ow.
EB: wow that hurt, dude.
EB: even rose is aboard this toe sock thing.
EB: it hurts to know that even my best bro won't join me on this.
EB: let me put emphasis on BEST BRO.
TG: man there are things i will do for you no questions asked but wear toe socks because of your sweaty feet is not one of them
TG: thats where i draw the fucking line
TG: i do have my limits
TG: im only human you know
TG: okay couldnt say that with a straight face
TG: still wont do it
EB: oh no.
EB: there are weird pieces of red glass on the floor, dave.
EB: i wonder what they are?
EB: oh shit oh shit.
EB: they're pieces of my heart.
EB: look what you did.
TG: whoa man your heart is made of glass
TG: man that shit is not healthy
TG: ho shit are you some kind of glass robot
EB: that is so not the point!
TG: did bro make you just to fuck with me in a neverending gag
EB: what no.
EB: anyway.
EB: the point is you broke my heart.
EB: what are you going to do now?
TG: i think ill go fight a bear with my bear hands
TG: save a couple of countries
TG: get covered in bitches from said countries
TG: shits busy up here
TG: just the daily routine man
TG: tomorrow ill do it all over again only better
EB: dave, you got your priorities wrong.
TG: should i save the countries first
TG: no wait i got it
EB: why is there no spend quality time with john egbert up in there?
TG: youre coming with me duh
TG: youre like my sidekick or something
TG: the watson to my holmes
TG: the robin to my batman
TG: piglet to my pooh
TG: bec to my jade
EB: what if i want to be pooh?
TG: fuck you you cant be pooh pooh is mine to be
EB: but i'm taller than you!
EB: you can't be pooh.
TG: i whole-heartily deny any height differences
EB: two inches, dave.
TG: i do not see them therefore they do not exist
TG: denial all up in this bitch
TG: youre totes just imagining it
TG: wow john do you need new glasses
EB: hahahaha.
EB: i am taller than you.
EB: come onnn admit it.
EB: two inches is a whole lot!
EB: ok not really, but still two inches.
TG: no fucking way egbert
TG: youre just secretly wearing heels
TG: not that i judge you or anything man ill love you the same
TG: im sure you look fabulous
TG: dont let the haters get you down
TG: you know theyre gonna hate
EB: i am not wearing heels just to be taller than you!
EB: hahahaha you are so in denial right now.
EB: i think i need to call rose to help you with this.
EB: hey rose, your brother is having some insecurities about his height.
TG: you are not actually doing that
TG: i am not insecure
TG: and rose is not a part of this in any way
TG: man that is just not cool threatening me with my own sister
TG: thats low egbert low
TG: im struck
EB: i think you're lower.
EB: because you're shorter, get it?]
EB: hehehe.
EB: also that bracket was not supposed to be there but whatever.
TG: that would have been funny but you just had to ruin it
TG: of course i fucking get it john im not 5
TG: man you ruined a good pun
TG: we dont spoil ðuns in this house
TG: *puns even
TG: go to your room and think about what youve done
TG: that poor pun did nothing wrong
EB: yes yes yes.
EB: that would work if i wasn't already in my room, dork.
TG: well double go to your room
TG: re-enter it
TG: also i will not be called a dork by the king of dorks
TG: there can be only one and thats you
EB: no thanks, totally not worth the effort.
EB: no man, you're like the emperor of dorks!
TG: says the guy with square classes and a huge crush on nic cage
TG: i cant even compare
EB: i do not have a crush on nic cage! i just really really admire him a lot?
EB: yep.
EB: also at least i do not wear like
EB: three layers of underwear when i go out.
TG: excuse me
EB: i saw you.
TG: the fuck john what are you even saying
EB: bussssssssssted.
TG: are you high
EB: maybe.
EB: no i'm joking i'm not.
TG: john did those kids pressure you
TG: you dont have to do nothing you dont want to
TG: oh god my babby
TG: where did i go wrong
TG: i raised you better than this john
EB: you didn't raise me that well, dave.
EB: you ignored me for like, a month when i accidentaly spilled aj all over your sheets.
EB: and i did clean up afterwards!
TG: john the applejuice is sacred
TG: imagine me taking your movie collection
TG: liquefying it
TG: and pouring it on your bed
TG: its that bad
EB: but i didn't do it on purpose!
EB: i was way lonely for a month.
EB: that's way worse than anything else, imo.
TG: i did take you to see that movie afterwards though
TG: that was valiant effort of making up for lost strider time
EB: the movie was 45 minutes AND shitty.
TG: you just dont appreciate good movies man
TG: okay okay how about this
TG: ill take you on a real romantic and cliche date
TG: with like a movie burgers and everything
TG: and you can stop whining like the dork you are
EB: what if i want nachos instead of burgers?
TG: then you will get all the nachos you want
TG: how can i say no to those buck teeth
EB: i'll forgive you for that comment just this once.
TG: ill even get you the sauce that clogs your arteries
TG: the cheesy thing
TG: and by cheesy i mean its made of cheese
EB: wow you're really going all out on this aren't you??
TG: you bet
EB: is dinner included in this date.
EB: what about a kiss?
TG: we will have fantastic and not too expensive dinner
TG: then the sloppiest makeout in history
TG: and then we drive into the sunset to some sick beats
TG: its and old car but you dont care since it describes my character
TG: we have seven babies and a dog
EB: hahahah you are so full of shit.
TG: im totally serious here egbert
TG: you are having my babbies and that is final
TG: at least three of them will be named dave
EB: ew that's so lame.
EB: i'm divorcing you if you name any of our kids dave.
TG: john
TG: i am hurt
TG: dave is a fantastic name
TG: so gentle and yet so firm
EB: yeah yeah!
EB: and i don't want to name our kids dave because you're the only dave.
EB: my first love blah blah.
EB: insert more romantic stuff in.
TG: youve loved me dearly since you first set eyes on my red text
TG: the way our colors form the pride of our country
TG: you just knew it had to be
TG: also my swag is just that much
TG: romantic enough
EB: are you going to come up with a romantic rap?
TG: im saving that for our honeymoon darling
EB: oh shit should i prepare condoms and lube?
TG: all of them john
TG: also strawberry scented
TG: i fucking love strawberries
EB: heheh what a nerd.
TG: yeah cause liking strawberries is totally what makes you a nerd
TG: man you need some schooling
EB: well maybe you should teach me then.
EB: i learn best with hands-on experience!
EB: hahaha oh my god ok i'm laughing way too hard.
TG: is that supposed to be innuendo
TG: i cant even see anything remotely sexy in that
TG: way to kill my boner john
EB: like you had a boner in the first place.
TG: yes john
TG: your text is just so sexy
TG: the way you type those dots
TG: ooh mr eb ooooh
EB: i don't know what to feel about this.
TG: feel accomplished man
TG: striders dont settle for just anything
EB: oh.
EB: you're making my heart flutter here.
EB: i'm fanning myself and all.
TG: your knees will get their strength back eventually
TG: however any other problems you have
EB: i'm still swooning, dave.
TG: youll have to talk to me personally
EB: hahaha.
EB: what.
TG: do not fear john
TG: ill be gentle
TG: unless of course thats not your thing
EB: i think hearing you say that is scaring me more than having your dick up my ass tyvm.
EB: but why would you think that's not my thing?
TG: well john i dont know your kinks do i
TG: not yet anyway
TG: some people are into different stuff and thats fine by me
TG: i mean wa-hatever floats your boat man
TG: no cosplaying though
TG: that shit is way too uncool
EB: like you're someone to judge what's cool and what's not heh.
EB: but but but but hey dave.
EB: dave.
EB: hey.
EB: hey dave.
EB: pssst.
EB: dave.
EB: strider.
EB: stridave.
EB: haha stridave.
EB: dave.
TG: daveder sounds better
EB: daveder sounds lame.
TG: fuck you it sounds awesome johnbert
TG: eghhn
EB: ew no johnbert sounds weird.
EB: what even is eghn.
TG: eghhn is so your new nickname
TG: what were you trying to say eghhn
EB: i'll tell you if you stop with eghhn.
TG: no way man it sounds like someone pinching a log
TG: or jizzing in their pants either way
EB: ew oh my god please.
EB: i can't talk to you if you're calling me eghhn.
EB: it's like you're jizzing your pants while talking to me.
EB: really.
EB: awkward.
TG: okay fine jeez
TG: no need to be so sensetive
TG: now what were you going to tell me johnbert
EB: i forgot.
TG: oh hell naw
TG: john you tell me this instant
EB: hehe you can't make me.
TG: young man i will ignore you for another week
TG: i will exit this conversation and you will not see a shred of red text for a long ass while
EB: wow no you can't do that that's totally unfair.
TG: my cursor is inching towards the red x john
TG: its millimeters away
TG: my finger is lowering itself towards the button that will end this
EB: daaaaaave.
EB: ok fine.
EB: geez pushy aren't you?
TG: what can i say i get curious now tell me
EB: i'll tell you but can you answer one question?
TG: john i will answer all of your questions
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TG: all of them just for you
EB: ok.
EB: do you have someone you like, dave?
TG: what you mean like a super highschoolish crush
EB: ummm not really?
EB: like someone you'd want to spend your whole life with!
TG: is this a question that will inevitably lead to you asking for my love advice
TG: cause im cool with you marrying rose man its all good
EB: what no, i don't want to marry rose you buffoon.
EB: just answer me.
TG: i may or may not
EB: dave come onnnnn you said you'd answer my questions!
TG: i did
TG: im just not answering them completely
TG: what a sneaky fox i am
EB: ok i'm going back to bed if you're not going to be cooperative!
TG: what if i say i might have someone but will no specify a name
EB: do you or do you not have someone!
TG: define someone
EB: dave.
TG: ok yes i do have someone but then this topic is dropped like a nasty beat and you will tell me what you were planning on telling me
EB: i would ask you who it is but
EB: you wouldn't tell me would you???
TG: no dice
TG: not until you spill the beans first
EB: heheh you suck.
TG: and im fantastic at it
EB: gross.
TG: now tell me egbert or so help me i will do things
EB: what things??
TG: wouldnt you like to know
EB: hahaha you are such a dick.
TG: a part of me is yes
TG: and its a big vital part
TG: now fucking spill the beans
EB: thank you for that information i didn't need to know.
EB: ok ok i'm getting to it!
EB: ok see.
EB: so.
EB: i.
EB: i might maybe.
TG: egbert+
TG: egbert
EB: what.
TG: get the fuck to it
EB: i can't just get the fuck to it it's like i'm trying to puke up nails and glass bits!
TG: better get it over with than to drag it out one by one
EB: ok fine so i might maybe have more than homosexual tendencies towards a certain someone and wow this sentence is not making a whole lot of sense and guh.
TG: okay wat
TG: excuse me stop the fucking presses
TG: i thought you were very extremely and i quote "not a homosexual"
TG: i put it in little quote marks for emphasis
EB: dude i was 13!
EB: and also i told it to karkat not you how do you even know this.
TG: you said it all the fucking time it was like a mantra
TG: it was in the way you expressed yourself
TG: all the no homo vibes
TG: im cool with it though just so you know
EB: you are so full of shit psa psa psa psa.
EB: i said it like
EB: once.
TG: whatever man that is so not the focus point here
TG: so what you and karkat
TG: never thought you had a thing for grey skin and tentacles
TG: man those teeth might hurt thought
EB: what no i don't have a thing for karkat.
EB: i don't have anything against grey skin and tentacles if you're into it though.
TG: really
EB: really.
TG: no not my thing
EB: haha that's good then.
TG: so whos the lucky guy then
TG: aside form cage
TG: is it that kid who lives close to you
EB: i believe it's your turn to 'spill the beans' on who you like.
TG: nuh uh
EB: what no dude gross he slipped tomato sauce down my underwear.
EB: yes.
EB: dude tell me.
TG: tomato sauce seriously
EB: if you tell me who you like i'll tell you too!
TG: when was this
EB: not the point.
TG: yeah it is
TG: i have a rep to uphold
TG: shoulda beat him up
TG: or at least scared him via puppets
EB: daaaaave, shut up and tell me.
EB: is it jade do you have a thing for jade
EB: oh man, called it.
TG: im not saying shit
TG: i dont fall for this
EB: you're going to get married to her just like karkat said.
EB: oooooh i'm telling jade.
EB: hey jade, dave has a thing for you.
TG: either you tell first or nothing happens
TG: god were like preschoolers here
EB: fine i'll be the mature adult then.
TG: good job agbert
TG: egbert for the occasion
TG: im shaking in my seat here dont keep me waiting
EB: fuck you shut up and listen i'm not gonna repeat myself.
TG: whoa easy
EB: ok.
EB: okay.
EB: i
EB: wow ok i can't say it it's really weird.
EB: no ok i'm backing out maybe stuff my face in a cake or something i dunno.
TG: is it really that big a deal
TG: im your bro man im not telling or whatever
TG: whoever it is im probably cool with it
EB: no you won't you'll probably cry.
EB: in your room.
EB: weeping about how your baby's all grown up.
TG: most likely yeah
TG: ill tenderly wipe away a tear with my hankie
TG: proud but still heartbroken
TG: watching my john walk away with some hunk
TG: whos definitely not good enough for you
TG: but i cant say that im your mom
EB: heheh.
TG: now tell
EB: i think he's good enough for me though.
EB: i mean.
EB: who's better than you?
TG: im sorry what
EB: i said i wasn't going to repeat myself.
TG: do you actually mean what i think you do
EB: what did you think i said?
TG: im actually not sure
EB: hahah.
EB: i like you, dave.
EB: dave?
EB: wow did you die or.
TG: i think thats an astute possibility
EB: well you can't die yet you still have to tell me who's it i have to fight for your heart.
TG: that is the single most corniest thing ever egbert
EB: you like it.
TG: cant deny that
EB: yup so
EB: whoooooooooooooooooooo
TG: what if i dont tell you
EB: i'm gonna go off kissing dudes under the bleachers.
TG: john before this conversation goes even an inch further i need you to testify something
EB: what.
TG: no more like i need to state something
EB: what is it??
TG: if you are pulling my leg
TG: or are just confused or whatever
TG: i will find you
TG: and kill you
EB: heheh don't worry, i'm not.
EB: i discussed this with rose and everything!
EB: it's totally legit.
TG: oh wow you discussed it with rose now it has to be the absolute truth
EB: dude shut up are you going to tell me or not
TG: how about no
EB: you are
EB: so difficult.
TG: how about instead i tell you i am currently getting dressed to go over to your house and appall the neighbors by kissing the shit out of you
TG: that good enough
EB: no, you'll have to tell me you love me first because i do.
TG: john bucktooth egbert
EB: yes david strider
TG: i love you so much i would seriously consider catching a grenade for you but that song sucks
TG: but the thoughts there
EB: heheh okay.
EB: i guess that works.
EB: love you too, babe.
TG: oh so now were on babe terms
EB: yep.
TG: no way im calling you darling
TG: way more epic
EB: ok then i'm dropping dave and calling you honey.
TG: im calling you eghhn again
EB: no no no no anything but that.
EB: i'll call you david if you call me eghhn.
TG: how about we both shut up and i fulfill my promise about coming over
TG: nicnames can wait
EB: heheh okay, i'll be waiting for you david.
TG: shut up eghhn
TG: you better make an honest woman out of me
TG: or bro will beat your ass
EB: ohhhhhh you can't pull bro out on me that's unfair.
EB: i'll get dad.
TG: psh my bro will beat your dad anytime
EB: i bet dad's shagged more ladies than bro.
TG: john that is no way to speak of your dad
TG: im telling
EB: FU that's low!!!
TG: well youll just have to show me the time of my life then wont you egbert
TG: im leaving
TG: prepare your kokoro
EB: doki doki, david.
TG: [[aand now i really have to go since this seems like a nice end]]
TG: [[its almost 4 am here :p]]
EB: heheh ok!!! it was nice uvu goodnight! ))
TG: [[see you mate]]
turntechGodhead [TG] disconnected.