Tale of the Adventurer's Guild

Many tales have been spun here. This is only one in a sea of many, but I hope you all enjoy it.

Our party was far from simple. The members are:

Myself: "Relic", a Warforged Artificer who'd taken to working an antique shop since the end of the Wars.
The Barbarian: A mysterious, large reptilian named "Rend", who wields a huge spiked greatclub and a bigger appetite.
The Witch: Sky, a female Dwarven witch with three companions: a large horse, a medium cat, and a small toad.
The Rogue: Tasselhof Burfoot, a Halfling with insane dexterity and a penchant for traps and being a smart little bastard.

Our starting predicament isn't too important. We were all whisked away from our normal duties and put through some kind of Saw knockoff where we had to do the BBEG's bidding or lose our souls (or in my case, whatever alchemical crap held me together). We finished fairly quickly, ended up killing this little shit of a Goblin alchemist and found out, of course, that the guy we'd been following was trying to destroy the world with a meteor. We don't know why.

Some random Timelord guy throws us two years into the past, with the mission of stopping the BBEG from summoning a space rock. Okay, whatever, we all get there and settle in. A Damphir named Malice filled us in and gave us use of his inn for a base of ops. I start making my usual staples (Necklace of Fireballs, a couple of wands, that sort of thing), and each of us get odd jobs to earn extra coin to help us gear up and figure out where this putz is.

The Barbarian hunts crap for the butcher. I make 20-odd swords because I'm an Artificer with Craft Weapons. The Witch does some delivery with her broom, then gets us a job hunting down some Drow wizard fuck to bring him in for questioning.

The Halfling, however, finds the Gnomes.

Said Gnomes were in the process of redesigning the catapult. Burfoot, being a maniac when it comes to machines, decides to help them build the better mouse trap, so to speak. So he increases the arm tension, designs a "landing system" for live payloads (read: invents the parachute), and invents the steam engine to help turn it faster. Like I said, he's nuts with machines.

So there's a problem with this Drow. He's camping out with some bandits in a supposedly "moving camp". The town guard had sent scouts out there to find it, only to notice a horrible rumbling underfoot and completely lose track of the camp. S'like it just disappeared. The Witch and Halfling get a plan to turn the Witch into a dryad (because who the fuck is going to freak out at a dryad in a forest), then the Halfling runs in, slaps some Cuffs of Antimagic on the Wizard and drags him out.

Meanwhile, myself and the Barb are hanging out with the Gnomes, preparing Plan B. We jury rig an aiming system onto "Big Bertha" using a Scroll of Scrying to give them a better idea of where the hell they're aiming this abomination. The Witch's cat runs back to us and tells us things are going belly-up, so I pop the scroll.

Back at the camp, the two of them are fighting a damned Landshark (hence the rumbling), which just popped up under them and went all HALFLING YUM GET OVER HERE on Burfoot. The camp's nowhere to be seen, but I say screw it. Time to go. Rend and myself hop up into the catapult and the Gnomes pull.

Cue Ride of the Valkyries.

We soar through the sky in the relative direction of the Drow's camp and actually manage to get pretty damn close. I make a graceful landing. The Barbarian makes a landing and falls prone. Forgot to tuck and roll. (This kinda sucked too, because he was going for a jump attack that'd probably have killed the Landshark dead.) We slag away at the Landshark, and I infuse my armor with Aporter (Dimension Door 2x/day) because Armor Enhancement is the best thing in my Infusions list.

One severely injured Landshark later, we find out the Drow hit a Mage's Private Sanctum on the camp to hide it in plain sight whenever someone came looking. Burfoot heads in to check it out, followed by my armor's Dimension Door. The poor short bastard eats a Cloudkill, while I get shunted to a fire and give no fucks about the cloud because Warforged are overpowered. The Witch fireballs and the gas is cleaned out, causing those little magic bastards to pop up and hit myself and Burfoot.

They die pretty quickly, but explode and give each of us hearing loss and damn near kill Burfoot because he's a squishy bastard. The Barbarian gets deafened too, resulting in a couple hilarious rounds of us just screaming WHAT at each other.

We pocket the Drow and get him back to the town safely.

tl;dr Our Halfling invents the parachute, the steam engine, and the first Gnomish space program in one day.