Bitch of Space

 

"Blah blah blah, transitional states, blah blah blah, I am a perfect host, blah blah blah, whores whores whores, blah blah blah. perfect mate for you, blah blah blah, my master's great fondness for you, blah blah blah blah blah blah are you listening to me blah blah blah oh good blah blah blah"

Dave was thinking. Even if he'd had nothing to think about, he would be ignoring the plush smuppet asshole giving the guided tour of What-Could-Have-Been Whorehouse. He was thinking about who he was going to get matched up with. He'd seen a few of his friends in this place, and frankly, he was worried.

Dave didn't have a mom, growing up. He acknowledged that. It could make people a little wiggy, not having a mom. It could make you fixate on certain things, in strange ways. What was much worse was the situation, so typical of paradox space and its sadistic whims, where you were worried that you were about to get recommended a parallel universe version of your mom at a whorehouse.

"blah blah blah of Void, blah blah blah-"

"wait whoa wait what was that about void?" Dave's train of thought struck the penny of relevant conversational topics, and derailed, killing countless innocent thoughts, and nearly as many downright illegal thoughts. "you're not taking me to any void girls, right? i mean i'm the knight of time, i'm not down for that kind of thing. void girls don't have a whole lot going on." He whispered a silent prayer that his mother would forgive him for besmirching her aspect.

"I can assure you, I possess an absolute knowledge of just who you need to see. While you are in my care, I can ensure that you'll never be matched up with a woman who is not perfectly suited for you. Now blah blah blah blah blah bitch of space blah blah blah terrible curse blah blah blah condesce's power interacted violently with the corruption blah blah blah extremely unpredictable behavior patterns blah blah blah but she's harmless really."

"who, mommy? rommy? roxy? shit!"

Doc Scratch turned towards Dave. "I understand that you may have some concerns about your bizarre human preoccupation with incest. Any decent species of course, would not possess such a taboo. It's something of a wonder that your species even managed to develop fire, with genetics that could be so easily damaged by simply breeding with someone closely related to yourself. But of course blah blah blah, blah blah blah interaction blah blah blah really not so bad, blah blah blah blah blah oh here we are." Dave stood in front of a large door.

Maybe it wouldn't be his mom. Maybe it would be Egbert's mom. She was pretty hot. Egbert would kill him if he ever heard that, and it would stick, because banging your bro's hot teenage mom is definitely grounds for a just death. Dave's mind raced as the door opened. A figure with long, dark hair stood in the room, facing away from him. She turned around. Oh thank god, it's just Harley.

"I will take my leave with you in her capable paws, because somehow, even I, a completely genderless being, find your preoccupation with your own mother disturbing."

"hey now you smug son of a-" Jade's warm hand grabbed Dave by the shoulder, and she tugged him into the room. A large mattress lay on the ground. A huge spiked collar was hanging from a chain. The chain ended in a large spike, driven deep into the green wall. Dave took a moment to stare at Jade. He hadn't realized that she was more... doggish, than usual. Her arms and legs ended in furry, faintly bestial claws, all purple-furred. Indeed, her normally white doggy ears and tail had similarly changed colors, and grown more ragged. She wore nothing but a tight beige top and a messy looking skirt. It looked like she'd butchered a burlap sack and worn its hide.

"just ignore him, dave! he's just trying to bug you and get inside your head. he loves doing that kind of thing. like, come on. you know you're not actually going to try to have sex with your mom. you just really crave her approval! also she reminds you of rose, and let's be honest, you do have a little crush on rose!" Dave stared. That had been rather canny, really. He'd been a bit worried. The word 'monster' had been thrown around a lot by the white-headed jackass.

"so wait a second, he was yammering on a lot about my 'ideal mate'. is that you, harley? how the hell did you manage that? i thought we stuck a pin in that after the whole fiasco with me getting shot to death in front of you and not warning you beforehand that you had to smooch my cold lifeless lips-" Harley smacked him on the nose with a newspaper. Dave went quiet, and stared. There were quite a lot of newspapers in the room, in fact. Several rawhide chew bones, a large kennel with a wire mesh door... He felt rather like he was standing in a large kennel, in fact.

"okay! you a little bit more focused here, dave? jeez, this place must be messing with you. time's a little wonky here. i guess it does unpleasant things to time players!" She smiled. "i'm not here to be your ideal mate or anything. i'm a hooker, dave! i'm here to have sex, for money, or... y'know, food, or whatever! now, i appreciate that you've got a whole lot of complex psychological issues that you need to deal with over time! but not on my time, alright? you can call me mommy if you want, but that's it! no feeling talks in the horn piles!"

"damn it harley, would you-" She smacked him on the nose again. "that hurts, damn it-" She smacked him a third time. He opened his mouth. She raised an eyebrow. He closed his mouth. She lowered the newspaper with a smile.

"now, if you're going to listen to me, get those pants off, okay? i kind of want to take it in the ass today, so let's teach you how to bury that bone. oh, and by the way, and this is very important: warn me when you're about to come. okay? because if you finish inside of me, you're going to regret it."

"what, you're going to get butt-pregnant or- wait, shit, no, i'm sorry, don't hit me on the nose again, i'm doing it." Dave was out of his depth. Jade was acting a hell of a lot more forward, and a hell of a lot more commanding, than usual. It was a bit frightening, mostly because it was turning him on. She bent forward, yanking her skirt down, revealing the curve of her plush ass. He tried not to drool as her tail wagged. She reached back, spreading her cheeks, revealing the tight pucker of her ass. He began unzipping his pants, and rested a hand on her ass, guiding the tip towards her. He never saw the newspaper going.

"jesus, dave! you were going to go in dry?! are you nuts?!"

"what in the FUCK harley- ow!" She had bopped him again. His nose was really starting to sting. He could hardly believe people were allowed to do this to dogs. She handed him a large tube. He read the words 'Astroglide', and looked up at her, an eyebrow raised. Then he sighed, getting the gist of it. The cold lubricant made him shiver, his erection wilting a bit. But as Jade got on her hands and knees on the mattress, her legs spread, her ass invitingly positioned, he found himself rallying. He reached down, and gently pressed his thumb against the tight pucker, stroking it gently. He was working off what little he remembered from late nights surfing the internet. Her tail wagged, and she let out a happy noise, so he was going to assume that she was enjoying it. After doing this for a while, he leaned forward. His hands rested on her hips, and he pressed the tip of his shaft against her.

She thrust back immediately, burying him inside of her tight ass in seconds. He gasped, grabbing hold of her tail with one hand, trying to keep upright. She was pumping her hips back and forth eagerly, forcing him in and out. Even with the lubricant, she was way too tight, clenching and squeezing on him. He tried to grab hold of her hips, and slow her pace, but this just seemed to make her more excitable, as her hips pumped back against him. He'd entirely forgotten about the threat she'd made to him about cumming inside of her by this point. He leaned forward, and let out a soft groan, as he painted her insides with spunk.

The transformation was instant. Black spread across her skin like an expanding pool of oil. Her tail slapped into his chest, hard, and knocked him ass over teakettle. It also apparently struck him hard enough that he was thinking of phrases like 'Ass over teakettle.' He landed heavily on his back, and stared up. Green flame was surging out of Jade, flickers of it rising out of her eyes, like heat shimmers. Her fur had turned black, her clothes burnt off with the green flames. She turned towards him slowly. A rather intimidatingly large, radioactive-green erection jutted out of her unkempt bush.  

"uh jade look i'm sorry i came inside but please don't do something horrible." Dave spoke in a rush, trying to get his words out as quickly as possible, as Jade approached him. He was uncomfortably aware of the fact that his pants were still around his ankles, and sticky white semen was dripping down Jade's thigh. She bent down over him, and licked his face. Her breath was uncomfortably hot, but she wasn't biting or clawing at him, which seemed like a positive.

"awwww, dave, it's okay! it wasn't that big a deal, or i wouldn't have let you have sex with me in the first place! i'm just, you know, going to plow your ass until you scream." Dave looked down nervously at that erection. He was starting to get some very significant penis envy issues.

"harley, i don't think that thing's going to fit inside of me." he suggested, as delicately as he could. Her eyes gittered, as she handed him the tube of lubricant again.

"you have 60 seconds to make sure that it's lubed up enough to not hut too much when i go! once i start, i'm going to keep going! i know it sucks, dave, but that's what the bitch of space does!" She gave him a bright, unnerving smile. "i make space! even in places where there's none to be had."

He swallowed. "jade, this-"

"i just let you fuck me in the ass. you aren't going to say that you're not going to give me a fair chance to do it back, are you?" Her voice was cheerful, but something told Dave that being sexually selfish at this time was a very bad life-decision. "45 seconds left!"

He smeared a large gob of the lubricant across his fingers, and began stroking her shaft. She smelled of spunk and musk. He was pretty sure that those things weren't supposed to smell good, or appealing. But some part of him was squirming at the scent, his shaft twitching with excitement. What the hell did that mean? It wasn't enough that this place had been leaving him freaked out about his feelings towards his mom, now it had to make him question his sexuality? This really was unfair.

Jade let him know time had run out with a flash of green fire. In an instant, his god tier outfit was gone, leaving him in a pair of fishnet stockings, a tight pair of assless silk panties, a tight leather collar, and, of all things, a maid headdress. He looked up at her and she looked back. He briefly thought of protesting. That would probably go poorly. "so like what position do you want me to take downward doggy-style or something-"

She was buried balls-deep inside of him. She must have cheated. He felt the thick shaft spreading his ass wide around it. His breath rushed out of him, cutting off the rest of his sentence. He waited, cringing, for the pain to hit. It stung slightly, but this should have been causing him some significant agony. Slowly, he began to relax. Then she pumped her hips, and his head went white inside.

Consciousness returned. His cock was limp, sticky semen splattered across his stomach. He was hanging from her arms. One hand was around his waist, the other around his chest, forcibly holding him upright. Her shaft was still buried inside of him. "bitch." she murmured into his ear. His shaft stiffened again, as she began to move. The second time, it was a little easier to keep control. Her movements were almost too intense, stimulating him deep, but he managed to keep from fainting, this time. The warmth of her body was almost scalding, making him sweat. She pumped her hips smoothly back and forth, and to his shock, a long, erotic moan left his mouth. He slapped his hand over his lips, his eyes widening. "sorry~ this is kind of a side effect of the hell hound thing. i tried to warn you! but yeah... once i cum inside of you, you're going to crave this sort of thing in the future! you might have a lot of trouble because of it, but, well, it'll teach you a lesson!"

She giggled. "what that lesson is, i'm not really sure! but you'll look real cute, too." She bit his ear lightly from behind, forcing another gasp out of him. Her hips jackhammered into his, long and hard. He could feel the thick knot at the base of her cock growing larger, the thick thing battering against him. He really wished it hurt. It would be so much easier to deal with pain. But the pleasure kept growing inside of him. He involuntarily tensed his stomach, as she squeezed him a little closer, and that seemed to be the last straw for her. With a loud howl, she wrapped her arms tightly around him, and came. The thick, sticky semen poured deep into his belly, and he felt just a little bit like he deserved this. He went limp in Jade's arms, as she sat back.

"jade" His voice was weak. That shaft had given his insides a real workout. He took a deep breath, gathering himself. "can you possibly stop  being a pain in my ass now" Sassing her felt good. It made him feel like he was slightly less of an embarrassment to Lalonde-Striders everywhere.

"i'd love to, dave." The hellhound crooned into his ear. "but it's going to be half an hour. until then, well, i guess you'll just have to stay very still, so you don't get me excited, and make me want another round, okay?"

In all of his life, Dave had never sat still for half an hour. Now seemed like an excellent time to cultivate that skill.