Improv (Shitty Shorts)

Got the idea from Gadget’s “Shitty Shorts” (the word “inspired” might be a bit much).  If you don’t know who this writer is, I urge you to check this person’s stuff out on pastebin.  I’ll see if this helps me stretch out my writing legs, get blood flowing into my brain, and overcome my mental blocks.
I’ll add whenever I can to this, but don’t count on it.

Rules for me are:

1) Once starting a short story, don’t leave it unfinished.  If I do, I end it right there or delete it altogether.
2) The backspace key does not exist when writing a story.
3) When in doubt, type it out.
4) Letting the words flow and doesn’t afraiding of anything.
5) No slowing down; stories must be completed as fast as possible as though my dick will shrink with each passing minute.

Also by reading these shorts, your iq will drop at least by 30 points and your SAT scores will be halved.

No slowing down or backspace key beyond this point.

...And please find it in your heart to forgive me for the shit you're about to read and the horrors that lie ahead.

Let’s do this shit!

--

>Visit twilight sparkle
.>bang on the door
you in here, spike?!  Get your ass out, hwe’re hitting thre gym!
>”nowt now Anon, I’m busy.”
>That don’t sound lik,me spike
da fack, man? that sounded like  chick
>You rko the door so hard that Randy Orton would be proud to call you his bastard son.
>You see spike taller, bur looked like he had a figure like a chick
>your eyes widen
>He…  SHE had boobs, a coke bottle frame, long eyelashes and girlish mannersimsa nd gestures
Bruh, what happened to you!?
>”I hang out with girllies all day long and I fonally became one.  There’s too much estrogen circulating here in ponyville and I abrsobr it like some kind of estrogen sponge.”
C-c…Cool story, bro.
>”Anon I have a confession to make..”
eh?
>”I’m in love with you.”
What, man…?
>”I have usgres lately ever since this vagina spell and I can’t seem to control them.  I think about you al ot more lately.”
Dude, we must go to the gym and start picking up all sorts of metal shjit and reverse this estrogen imbalance of yoursd.  You need testosterone.  Le’ts go see ze5rcroa and gert some roidss or something for you.
>”No, anon…  I neeed… you!”
No dude, that’s like gay n’ stuff
>Spike then wrestles you to the groiujnd but you try to fight back.
>It is of no use and you are like raped 8 ways to Sunday.
>It was okay because you were being violently raped by a chick now.  She st
>She still didn’t have a dick, but you’re mentally confused and scarred for life.
>Unless you wanted her to have a dick and have her/him/it to be a futa chick, that’s cool and all…  I’m not here to judge you…
>Ya fucking freak.
>Twilight comes through the door,
>She just goes upstairs ignoring your rapings and reads something boring.
>For the next several hours, you are raped until the cows came home.
>You lose a lot of boidily fluids and shrivel up ending up in the hospital.
>While in hospital bed female spike visits you and hgives you flowers.
T-thanks, Spike.
?“I’m sorry , Anon.”
It’s okay.
>“I wan’t to pay you back for what I did..”
If you really are soory , Spike, then it’s okay.  I untders-
>.”..IN RAPE DOLLARS!”
>You scream like a bitch
>Rinse. Repeat
>The end.

--

>day sfadl;jhaslk in equestrian
>Fucking automatic spell checking corrector….
>Wake up in the morning feeling like some kind of no talented singer.
>Visit applerape’s farm to help her collect apple’sn shit
>Wave hi to applebllom and Granny smith
>Brohoof Brokintosh
>And finally feel the pircing stares with Applejack’s eyes…
“Hawdee thar , pardnur!”
>do best to ignore her and get to work
>Need bits to buy shit, mianly weapons to fend off molesting ponies
>dropkick trees and collect bucksetgc of apples
>Buit brodash falls into your buckt
>Dafuq mang !?
>”Ugh, Anon!  I was busy napping!  Why’d you wake me?”
>Sorry bro-dash.  My bad.
>Brohoofs of forgivness has been activated.
>She flies away.
>Applejack out of fucking nowhere instanbt transmissions behind you.
>She goes: “hey there, anona!  Tiems (*ignore this line)
>She goes: “Time to pay you what you deserve!”
>Agina with the fucking splell correction!  It’ll correct that word in the prvious sentence but not when I cking need it like right now! RAAGGEWLQJHLd;jkLPLDLHDLKHGJKSS:KLJsdl;kfhseojhbase;ljs fpomhcqaw-90WOIEUW3OI8 QPCOPO
What!? No, please AJ, don’t pay me in rape dollars!  Not again!
>”What?  No, silly Anon!  Here!”
>She tosses you a bag of bits for your day’s work.
w>”Anon, I have a confession ton make”
Oh shit, NOT AGAIN!  PLEASE!
>”There’s just something I want to tell you,  That’s all”
>You calm down and exhale in relief.
>”I don’t like humans very much”
Wait, what?
“>I believe the only good human is a raped human .”
>Yup, you were right all along about her.
>You open the bag of bits, but there wanst’ a ny bits, they were all rape certificates redeemable by only Applejack.
>”Time to cash in, Pardner!”
\>You scream for help, but no one fucking comes.
>Rule63 Spike out of fucking nowhere pops her head out of a basket of apples.
>”Did I miss out on the fun?”
>”Howdy there, Spike!  We’re just getting started.!  “
>Then Luna out of fucking nowhere flies in on the three of you.
>”The rape has been doubled!”  She screams at all three of you.
>Luna then turns around and flies away.
>Did I go to McDonald’s twice yesterday?
>The- wait, not yet.
>You are once again violated like a black man violating the three strikes rule in the State of California with 50,003 strikes.
>NOW the end.

--

Day 79 in Equestria
>Workkging at Sugar cube Corner for free food an bits.
Fuck it, I’m hungry.  Going to Wendy’s for a triple baconator and krispy kreme doughnuts to make a Luther burger with over easy eggs in the middle.  Then I’m going to play my new copy of Diablo 3.  Use your imagination for this one; it’ll just end up with you being raped again by rule 63 Spike.

--

Day 87 in Equestria
>Sun was going down and tired as fuck working for a moving company as one of your freelancing dituties.
>Groggy as Hell because of low testosterone levels from too much sex and forced sex by applerape and 63 Spike.
>Rape senses tingling!
>Dive into bushes.
>Look who the fuck it is!
>It’s fucking 63 Spike.
>”Weird, I thought I could smell him coming this way!  Guess I”ll just have to keep looking.  Good heavens!  It’s been almost an hour and I still haven’t raped his brains out yet!  I’ll just have to rape him twice as hard later on to make up for it!”
>She leaves and the cosat looks clear.
>What the Hell is it with Collar’s unhealthy obsession with rule 63 Spike and her being a rapist and why is she in every one of Collar’s short stories?
>On the way home see a big ass wooden trailer parked and blocking entrance to your house.
“That is the fucking ugliest looking thing I have ever seen.  Why is that shit parked next to my house, man?”
>Cart turns into a stage with fireworks and shit.  At least it was something nice to look at.
>Blue wizard pony who couldn’t p[ossibly be anymore full of shit emerges.
>”Greetings!  The great and powerful Trixie has come to grace you with her presence and stuff.”
“Riveting.  Now move your shit out of the way so I can get in.”
>”Hmph!  Trixie does not approve of your foul language and will use magic to show you a thing or two!”
“I said move. Now.”
>”Bitch, YTrixie ain’t goin’ nowherze till Trixie get monies!” She said while snapping her hooves in a Z-formation.
>how in the blue hell idid she do that without any fingers and why is she speaking in third pony??
>Wait…  She can use magic!
>Maybe she can reverse Spike’s gender with her magic and shit!
“maybe you can help me!  You see, there’s this crazy ass rapist who keeps stalking me and I need you to change her back to mormal!  Can you help me?”
>”Hmph!  NNOW you need my help!  Maybe if you were nicer before, maybe Trizie would have lent you her almighty and powerful magic to help you!”
“Twilight’s a bitch.”
>”Okay, I’ll help.”
>Walk around Ponyville looking for walking purple epitome of rape.
“gee, sure is hot around here!  Maybe I’ll take off my shirt and expose my half naked body to everypony here to cool off!”  You said in a very conspicuous manner.
>63 Spike tackles you and holds you down.
“Wait, Spike!  We’re in public!”
>”I don’t care Anon!  I want you inside of me, NAO!”
“Trixie!  NOW!  Chage her back!”
>63 Spike reaches into your pants with both claws and starts violating your junk while running her long tongue in and out of your throat in front of everyopony.
>This happens for a sold 5 moinutes, but no pony is really doing anything to help you.
“Trixeie where the buck are you!/  Help me!”  You screamed the second your mouthbn was free.
>“Sorry Anon!  Trize jusrt couldn’t stop watching!  It was truly a mesmorizing sight!”
>She continues tow atch for a another solid five moniutes.
“Seriously!  Trixie!  Help!”
>”Okay!  Okay!  Geez!”
>Trixie starts glowing while chanting something that probably sounded like some kind of anti-christ prayer.
>Thank fucking Celestia this will be all over soon enou-
“I’ll svae you Bro!”  Big Macintosh screamed as he dove in to rescue you!.
>Magic beam is fired and Big macintosh gest caught in Trixie’s gender-bending spell.
>Big explosion happens and smoke everywhere.
>Stand up to regain compsure.
>As smoke clears, you see otherf ponies and Rule 63 Spike who still looked like a chick.
 “Fucking A.  You’re still a female, aren’t you?”
>”Why yes I am!”
>You run like it’s the only thing keeping you alive.
>But you get bucked in the chest sending you flying and tumbling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzfY-aXGcBY&feature=related
>You pass out.
>Wake up inside Trixies’ trailer.
>Tied dopwn to her bed.
>”Hawdee there, cutie!”
>It sounded like another femal with southern accent.
>It was Rule 63 Big Mac.
>Mother of fucking God.
>Rule 63 Spike strraddles you.
>“We’re going to have fun!  Good, wholesome, FUN!”  She screamed in your face with her left eye twitching, pupils shrinking, and grinning like the Cheshire cat.
>”Yes we are!”  Trixie said.
>”Eeyup.”
>The army of rape is growing and all you did was make it worse for yourself.
>Lesson of day:  Don’t try to make things right.
>No, seriously.  What is up with Collar’s unhealthy obsession with Rule 63 Spike raping the ever-loving life out of Anon constantly?

--

>Day male stripper in equestria
>Unable to cope with the situation, you did the only thing you could do...
> You danced!
>You danced for dear life and couldn't stop.
>You were a slave to the rhythm that was playing in your head and that nop0ny else could hear.
>You leap on top of the closest elevated surface you could find.
>You strip down to a G-string and start gyrating your pelvis like it was the only thing you were meant to do in life.
>"Such indecency!   He brings great shame to our society!" Twilight Sparkle said.  "Don't you agree, rule63 Spike?"
>"True, but he isnt't bad."
>Purple epitome of rape walks up to you and slides a rape certificate on your g-string.
>"How can you be so insensitive, Spike!?"
>"Stop censoring him!  You don't know what art is!"
"WOOOOOO!  You tell them, girly!"
>you then bring your crotch against the surface and start humping it like crazy.
>"Sir!" said the priest.  "This is not the time for you to exposing your divine human form!  Now is the time to be mourning over the loss of our loved one named Pinkie Pie who had recently died in a baking accident!"
"Since when is a man ridiculed and scrutinized by society for his burning passion!?"
>"Anon!  Get off of Pinkie Pie's casket and stop humping it!  Now!"
"Never!"
>"This is the gayest funeral I have ever been to." Said Braeburn.
>Rule63 Spike is no longer in control of her urges And throws you on top of Pinkie Pie's lifeless corpse.
>She starts forcing herself and ravaging you harder than ever before while having forced sex on top of Pinkie Pie's soulless shell.
>Nop0ny stops her and just watches you being violated like it was Some kind of broadway play.
>P0nies line up in front of the casket wanting to take turns with you after the Purple lust driven dragon was done violating you like they were receiving communion.
>but instead of receiving the body and blood of Christ, they were just going to take turns raping you senslesslyl.
>You are banned from P0nyville cathedral for life for some unfair and unjust reason.
>Today was an unfair day.
>...
>Collar has a problem and needs help.

A/N:  This particular short is broght to you and inspired by:
http://greasymoose.com/houseofsquid/83.html
I hate writers' block.