Untitled

-- eerieMasquerade [EM] began pestering kamenGrinder [KG] at 23:50 --
EM: Gil.
-- eerieMasquerade [EM] unblocked kamenGrinder [KG] at 23:51 --
KG: Az.
EM: Are you angry?
KG: no. I'm not.
EM: Me neither.
EM: Well, maybe I am! But. I think we need to
EM:  talk anyway.
KG: but I think there are some things we need to talk about.
KG: yeah.
EM: There are things? Oh in that case, you go first.
KG: I talked to MM. as unpleasant as I find him right now, he offered an explanation for why you saw enemies that looked like me and Rosalyn.
EM: Is it because the whole session was a trap?
KG: he said the game might have drawn them from your subconscious.
EM: What.
EM: No, no. I talked to AG, and she said she
EM:  is sure that it was a trap. I sent you
EM:  the log.
EM: Are you trying to say that AG lied to me?
KG: no. no, I guess she was probably right. I'm sorry.
KG: of course you wouldn't want to do anything to hurt me.
KG: right?
EM: Maybe right now but generally no.
KG: I see.
KG: I also never thought you would care more about Bryce than about me.
EM: That
EM: That is not true at all!
KG: maybe I just need to rethink things in general.
EM: God, I should have thought this through.
EM: I will prove it to you, okay?
EM: That you mean the most. I don't want to
EM: lie anymore.
KG: lie about what?
EM: No actually maybe this is a bad idea.
KG: fine. I can't force you to talk to me.
EM: I think I had enough of this. The game, I
EM:  think it is just trying to fuck me up!
KG: yeah. me too.
EM: No, I don't think we are talking about the
EM:  same thing here.
KG: our friendship is changing. we're changing. maybe you were right in not wanting to talk to me.
KG: maybe we should just stay away from each other for a little while.
EM: Oh my god, shut up! I am trying, I am
EM: trying to tell you something here!
KG: stop trying to tell me, and just tell me.
EM: Okay, I will try.
EM: Look, uh.
EM: You saw me right.
KG: I saw your dreamself. yes.
EM: Yes, exactly, exactly.
EM: Me, right now.
KG: yes. I saw you. what are you trying to say?
EM: What I am trying to say is, this game is
EM:  screwing around! If this has any relation to the gam
EM: e. But I am sure. It does.
EM: Gil. I am not always like this dreamself.
KG: that's not exactly news. you've been acting strangely since your dreamself woke up.
EM: I have no idea what you mean.
EM: No man, no. What I am trying to say is...
EM:  I am usually... flatter than this.
KG: really? I woke up to find you giggling, without pants.
EM: I do not have to apologize for that.
KG: flatter?
KG: are we talking about your chest?
EM: YES.
KG: I can't believe this shit.
KG: why. why did I think you would have something important to tell me.
KG: did I suffer brain damage during that last fight, I wonder.
EM: Augh are you fucking dumb!?
EM: Look, it is not only the chest.
EM: My dreamself is different. To my normal self. Even this
EM:  long hair, that is usually a wig, it is m
EM: y natural hair now!
KG: okay. so why do you think that is?
EM: I do not think you quite understand.
KG: I agree. I don't understand. thus why I am asking.
EM: Ok Gil, I am going to spell it out for
EM: you.
EM: I am usually not female.
KG: I'm not sure how to respond to that.
EM: I am sorry for deceiving you all this time.
KG: why did you?
EM: I started pretending to be female so long ago. And
EM:  it was so easy, online, where no one could se
EM: e you, or hear you.
KG: I understand.
EM: You do?
KG: you may have forgotten that I also recently pretended to be a female. for a very different reason, but all the same. I understand.
EM: I was so worried you would hate me! And find
EM:  it a little... gross.
KG: you really think I care whether or not you have a penis?
KG: you're my best friend.
EM: No matter how you turn it, right now, I don
EM: 't have a penis. And whilst that is what
EM: I had been hoping for so long, I am just
EM:  confused right now.
KG: yes. me too.
KG: we're all confused.
KG: I don't have a penis right now either.
KG: Az and Gil. gender confusion buddies.
EM: But you can't tell anyone. Please.
KG: my lips are sealed.
EM: Thanks, you are a real friend.
KG: I assume you'd still like for me to refer to you as a female?
EM: It would mean a lot to me if you did.
KG: of course.
EM: I don't think it is going to be fun
EM: breaking this to Bryce and Rory, though.
EM: Wait, forget what I said. It will be awesome breaking
EM:  this to Rory.
EM: Hahaha.
KG: suddenly those surprise penis jokes I made seem so appropriate.
KG: whatever happens when you tell them, I hope you know this doesn't change anything between us.
EM: Why would it?
KG: exactly.
KG: thank you for telling me.
EM: It was stupid of me to believe that you would
EM:  hate me for this, wasn't it?
EM: Maybe I was just trying to deceive myself. I told
EM:  myself it would be better to keep lying, so
EM: I wouldn't jeopardize our friendship. But in reality, I
EM:  just didn't have the balls to tell you.
KG: about your balls.
EM: What about them.
KG: you didn't have the balls to tell me about your balls. okay, let's just move on.
EM: You are going to hell for that.
KG: for that? really?
EM: No, for all the other things aswell, but also for
EM:  that.
KG: oh, okay. as long as I'm getting credit for everything else.
EM: Now that I already told you about this... would you
EM:  mind listening for a minute longer?
KG: let's just agree to forgive each other for what happened, and move on.
KG: oh.
KG: well, no. I wouldn't mind. is there more?
EM: You are the only one I can talk to about
EM:  this, now.
EM: I feel... responsible. For screwing up my family. And the
EM:  relationship between me and my mother.
KG: what happened with your mother?
EM: I am sure I mentioned this before... she is not
EM:  home very often. Usually, she hangs with some random dud
EM: e, sends me his money, and enjoys her life somewhere.
EM: But I know she does that because... Well, she is
EM:  not exactly a friend of my crossdressing hobby. She like
EM: s to keep at least one ocean between me and
EM:  her at all times.
KG: that sounds more like her problem than yours.
EM: I don't know. I am sure, if I had calle
EM: d her, and apologized for everything I ever did, she
EM:  would have returned. We could have been a normal famil
EM: y. Maybe she would have even told me about what
EM:  happened to my biological father. She never told me abou
EM: t him.
KG: maybe. but you never owed her an apology.
KG: you didn't do anything wrong.
EM: But I knew how she hated it, at first, I
EM:  kept doing it just to make her angry.
EM: I overdid it, and she left.
KG: and why did you keep doing it after that?
EM: At that point, I already had the job at the
EM:  cafe. A crossdressing cafe, of course. There were nice
EM: people there, who didn't judge me. And they paid
EM:  well.
EM: At one point I just threw away every piece of
EM:  clothing that would indicate that I am male.
KG: why did you do that?
EM: I... was in my rebel phase. Please, that happened years
EM:  ago.
KG: alright, I can understand that.
KG: so what happened then?
EM: Well, the next day when I wanted to go to
EM:  school I realized how terrible that idea was.
KG: I can imagine you'd get a few looks, at least.
KG: did you stop going?
EM: Actually, I did go the next day. Without going into
EM:  it any further, let's just say it was no
EM: t very fun.
EM: I still showed up from time to time, so they
EM:  wouldn't give my mom trouble, but I try t
EM: o avoid it in general.
KG: understandable. I'm sorry things were so difficult for you.
KG: I can't imagine how it must have been. living alone like that.
EM: I am not gonna lie, it was fun, most of
EM: the time.
KG: oh. well. okay. or that.
EM: No one was there to tell me not to do
EM: something. I had money at my disposal, lots of it.
EM: But I would have still preferred.. a family.
EM: Gil?
EM: M
EM: May I ask.
KG: yes, Az?
EM: Why did you wear a sombrero.
KG: I. what?
EM: Just, just now.
KG: what are you talking about?
EM: What?
KG: Az, I'm not wearing a sombrero. can you even see me right now?
EM: You were here just a second ago!
KG: really? what did I do?
EM: You hugged me out of nowhere, in a sombrero, and
EM:  then disappeared again. With your sombrero.
KG: what!
KG: I.
KG: oh.
KG: I guess it can give hugs after all.
EM: It? Are we changing to gender neutral pronouns in this
EM:  confusing gender flurry now?
KG: nevermind. just accept it as a hug from me. I wanted to give you one.
EM: Um. Thank you.
KG: please continue. was there more?
EM: I think I am done now. I just wish I
EM: could see my mother on more time, and. Maybe apologize.
KG: is there anything I can do for you?
EM: No, no it is okay right now. Just, when you
EM:  wake up next time, here. Wash your face.
KG: was there seriously a penis on my face.
EM: I want a lawyer before I answer this.
KG: no lawyers, but I have a crocodile and I bet I could give him a suit. good enough?
EM: No, not at all. Topic change.
KG: alright. any idea why your dreamself is female?
KG: even mine keeps my actual gender, even though my real body is female.
KG: hmm. maybe that's it. maybe that's your actual gender.
EM: I have no idea. Maybe whoever made this game did
EM:  not look very carefully and remodeled the dreamself after
EM:  my outter appearance.
EM: My actual..
EM: Hm.
KG: hm?
EM: I am not sure. If this is what I am
EM: supposed to be like.
KG: it doesn't feel right to you?
EM: I am too confused right now! And how is that
EM:  a decision I can even make, you don't jus
EM: t let people choose their gender.
KG: alright, I'm sorry. I'm really confused too. I didn't even mean to drink this coffee.
EM: The coffee is something else entirely. I mean, how far
EM:  can genderfuckery even go?
KG: farther still. I haven't even made the bracer yet.
KG: does it bother you?
EM: What?
KG: my genderfuckery.
EM: I am not one to judge here, I am afraid.
KG: alright. well.
KG: while we're making up.
KG: I'm sorry I don't like your boyfriend.
EM: It is okay, I am sure if you knew him
EM: better, you would not hate him so much.
KG: we were friends before, I'm just irritated by his attitude lately. and felt like he was coming between us.
KG: but okay. I'll be happy for you.
EM: Why are you irritated by his attitude, you two are
EM:  so similar.
KG: we are not similar!
EM: You are, he is just like you! Maybe that is
EM:  why you don't get along.
KG: hmph.
KG: well, you asked why I can't be happy for you, but it's not like you're happy for me at all, either.
EM: The beds here on derse are so much cushier than
EM:  the one I have at home, do you think the
EM: y will let me take it back to the normal
EM:  side?
KG: technically Derse is a physical location, so wouldn't it already be on our side? just in a different place?
KG: wait. wait. fuck.
KG: stop changing the subject.
EM: So you think I can bring it back? Hm, but
EM:  then I wouldn't have it here. Maybe I ca
EM: n captchalogue it.
KG: Az, why can't you be happy for me?
EM: What are you talking about, I am happy.
KG: I don't think you have a sylladex there. stop dodging the question.
KG: happy for ME. the way I can be happy for you.
EM: I do, in fact.
EM: But I don't have the items I had at hom
EM: e.
EM: So I guess they are separate, how lame.
KG: why do you hate AG?
EM: I should change into something more comfortable, it is gettin
EM: g kind of cold.
KG: will you fucking answer me? what is your problem with Kybele?
EM: Yes, I think I am going to try and find
EM: a pair of pants.
KG: fine.
EM: Well, okay, talk to you later. With pants.
KG: I love her.
KG: and.
KG: and she loves me.
EM: Bye!
-- eerieMasquerade [EM] ceased pestering kamenGrinder [KG] at 02:56 --