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Behind The Hackers That Suck: th3j35t3r Special Edition

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  1. Once upon a time, in a far off internet...
  2.  
  3. -TH3J35T3R-
  4.  
  5.  
  6. Depending on how new you are to the whole hacking thing, you either know or don't know who th3j35t3r is. This is an issue that comes up a lot since he is part of a long list of try hards, whom also confirmed by JoshTheGod blows just as hard [See Josh and th3j35t3r bromance].
  7.  
  8. So what's the big deal about this th3j35t3r guy? Well he performs Denial of Service attacks and goes after terrorist sites in his spare time between beers and looking into the mirror while playing We Are The Champions by Queen.
  9.  
  10.  
  11. -Tango Potato-
  12.  
  13. So just why is he so famous for doing denial of service attacks you ask? No one knows. Back in 2009 he cashed in on that claim to fame when those methods were still semi legit in the hacking world. As you see through his time line, when one method of hacking gets boring to his audience, he tips his magic hat and a mystic smoke fills the room. After a half hour of clicking noises from abusing copy paste, the smoke clears and where his old program once stood a new one with brand new vigor for justice stands in it's place.
  14.  
  15.  
  16. -His Lemmings-
  17.  
  18. One questions how an obvious liar could hold onto such a vast group of people for such a long time. The answer is, he doesn't. Many have spread rumor that he is actually the love child of Steve Jobs and The Joker. Where as Apple users who are new to Apple's blatant bullshitery will try a product, regret it and then get an Android. Much is the same for many of th3j35t3r's followers who will follow him, listen to his stories and then unfollow him and log off the internet smarter. Many of th3j35t3r's followers on Twitter have been claimed to be bots. Many of these assumptions are backed up, because when you look at his followers, it looks like he loves cooking with Eggs.
  19.  
  20.  
  21. -So who really IS this guy?-
  22.  
  23. That's the mystique about th3j35t3r. Nobody knows for sure. There have been many doxes, but in the hacking world a dox is almost always 100% proven when people come to their house for Trick or Treat dressed up as the FBI. For th3j35t3r however, he tries "The key word here is try" to stay on the legal side of things. Usually failing miserably. But that's beyond the point. th3j35t3r has yet to be arrested for his obvious crimes against the internet.
  24.  
  25.  
  26. -Wounded Warrior Boogaloo-
  27.  
  28. One of the few things the man does that actually have a positive effect on the internet is his mindless whoring of the Wounded Warrior Project, which in reality isn't a bad thing. The problem is the prostitute that is turning triCks for the WWP. Ironic to this fact, he also has a bit coin Tip Jar which to this day has hilariously barely been touched. th3j35t3r proclaimed once that someone had donated seven whole US dollars to his BC jar and that he was going to use it for "research" of PLG "See below". The fact that he claimed to use seven dollars to research an open source program that is already perfectly working leads us to believe he meant it was going to use it on lunch while trying to figure out who to actually use Beef.
  29.  
  30.  
  31. -Claims to fame-
  32.  
  33. He wrote a custom DoS tool, which he named XerXes - XerXes looks to be Pyloris with a GUI.
  34.  
  35. He has a tool dubbed "Saladin" that permanently takes a site down (Until they restore from backups) - This was brutally exposed when SanguineRose discovered that all the sites hit by Saladin had just had their domain registrations expire.
  36.  
  37. Modified LOIC to expose users IP - Never happened, unknowing users where exposed by default, because LOIC is a skid tool and doesn't hide IPs.
  38.  
  39. Infected DHN.zip - Never happened. AnonymousDown found the file, th3j35t3r asked Tyrkoil to write his blog post claiming that he (th3j35t3r) had modified the file.
  40.  
  41. AnonOps hack - Didn’t directly take credit, but reposted the nick database 6 months later and not only did he do nothing to correct people who thought it was his work, but he refused to give credit to Hack The Planet when pressed. This lead to consequences for some of his channel ops and other big-name supporters.
  42.  
  43. Packeted Wikileaks - He says XerXes generated 10 gbps of ddos, but he probably bought ddos power from Russian cybercriminals.
  44.  
  45. Packeted LulzSec’s Server - Again, never happened. This was later confirmed by Matthew Prince, CEO of Cloudflare, during Defcon 19.
  46.  
  47. Packeted the Westboro Baptist Church's website - At best, he did hit them at first, but lied about giving them continual ddos when the Phelps family took the server down for a while.
  48.  
  49. Tripoli Post hack – Used a known vulnerability as XSS (Cross-site scripting) to inject a photo that looked similar to an actual article. (Target Site | Image Source | XSS Effect) This will only work if you use the link he provided. No, he didn’t actually hack into the Tripoli Post web servers.
  50.  
  51. Doxed Sabu - He famously got Sabu's identity wrong, and apologized for it. When Sabu was outed as an FBI informant, he edited his blog post to remove all credit to ReaperSec for steering him in the right direction.
  52.  
  53.  
  54. -Doxbin Drama-
  55.  
  56. In mid-April of 2012, th3j35t3r posted a poorly formatted rip-off of the AnonOps nick database that Hack The Planet released back in November 2011. When @doxbin called him out on this via Twitter, he refused to even acknowledge that he lifted the database from a previous release. From there, drama ensued, and subsequently @mach2600's dox were dropped. She was selected because of all the people in his IRC channel, she was the one who had his ear more than anyone else. This sent jester into a white knighting rage because he thought if he defended the girl on the internet, she would have sex with him. The flames were further fanned when nachash told him that if he didn't apologize to HTP and give credit, that mach's social security number would also be dropped. At this point, even more white knights jumped in, and random name calling and threats of dox dropping occured for roughly a week.
  57.  
  58. After the poor little jester lemmings had worn themselves out with hard tweets and threats to dox nachash, dox on a good number of jester's channel operators and big-name supporters were dropped. This concluded the end of th3j35t3r's internet sissyfight with doxbin. He realized that there was nothing he could do, offensively or defensively. With that, he decided to stick his head in the sand and pretend nothing had ever happened
  59.  
  60.  
  61. -The Price Is Wrong-
  62.  
  63. On 5/12/12, SanguineRose made a blog entry on ReaperSec's blog, in which he detailed how almost all of the sites jester had claimed to use "saladin against" had expired domain registrations. Jester put up a placeholder blog entry, in which he promised a detailed explanation of what saladin was and what it does. By the next day, the blog entry had been deleted, as had all tweets that referred to it.
  64.  
  65. On 5/13/12, ReaperSec's blog delivered another critical blow to th3j35t3r's credibility. Not long after that, a sockmuppet going by @cubespherical emerged, after having deleted a bunch of pro-jester tweets and claimed that he had th3j35t3r's dox, and would drop them for the small, one-time sum of 20,000 bitcoins (Worth roughly $100,000 USD at the time). This lead to some cleverly staged Direct Messages. By 5/14/12, th3j35t3r had deleted both his Wordpress blog and Twitter account, and gave the Internet a long-awaited victory. But wait, there's tinfoil
  66.  
  67. Some argue that @cubespherical may actually be th3j35t3r, and this is all an elaborate ruse to get his enemies to send him money (and will use a portion of the proceeds to donate to his charity of choice: The Wounded Warrior Project).
  68.  
  69. On May 16th, 2012 th3j35t3r reemerged, re-publishing all of his blog posts and reactivating his Twitter account. He published a long winded blog post that said a lot but explained nothing, except that he deactivated his accounts so that he could "observe". Experts agree that since his plan to cash out and quit the Internet forever was blown by the fact that nobody cares enough about him or his dox to donate a single bitcoin, that the obvious next step was to come back into the spotlight and "pwn" his own sockpuppet.
  70.  
  71.  
  72. -Team Poison Vaccine-
  73.  
  74. In early April of 2012 Team Poison leader TriCk shot a few insults to th3j35t3r. So th3j35t3r got in one little fight and his mom got scared and said he's moving with his auntie and uncle in Birmingham. th3j35t3r promised divine retribution against TriCk and the rest of his junior league would be Jihadists, but th3j35t3r realized he couldn't do it alone. So so he shamelessly took credit for the work of real hackers on Twitterland. Mainly big player figures in the TP doxings such as @SHG_Nackt and @le_researcher. Sadly for th3j35t3r he stole credit for a dox that was only half way right and was made a fool for it. While TriCk's location was iron clad, his true identity was NOT that of Robert West, but that of Junaid Hassan. th3j35t3r never referenced it again and acted as if it never happened complete with deleting tweets.
  75.  
  76.  
  77. -UG Nazi Summer Fun Time-
  78.  
  79. Near Early June 2012 the group UGNazi, who's most polarizing claim to fame was that they defaced sites and got more attention than they deserves for it, went after th3j35t3r's favouritest site in the whole wide world [Wounded Warrior Project] and did a Tango Down of their own. th3j35t3r was furious, But it wasn't until another UGNazi member by the name of Cosmo would post on twitter on June 7th that he was going to court on June 30th. th3j35t3r lunged right into the situation not thinking of the outcome and said that on June 30th Justice would be served. While everyone with a brain could see that th3j35t3r was banking on Cosmo's already existent court date to take credit for him going to court, his followers were too busy championing their hero to pay any mind to common sense and timelines outside of th3j35t3r's own timeline. Sadly th3j35t3r bet it all on Duke and as of today only 1 UGNazi member was arrested and that one was arrested for reasons below.
  80.  
  81. For almost an entire month th3j35t3r spent his time throwing insults at JoshTheGod of UG Nazi and at the time Leader as well. While th3j35t3r left his audience on the edge of their seats in suspense by posting small tid bits of information about Josh, people in the background letting th3j35t3r dig his own grave were too busy laughing at the falsified shots in the dark he was making.
  82.  
  83. In this time th3j35t3r claimed Josh was his real name while it turned out to be Mir Islam.
  84.  
  85. He also claimed he lived in NZ when Josh was clearly in NY. He deleted the tweet instantly after an eagle eye pointed it out.
  86.  
  87. Many mistakes followed in what was probably th3j35t3r's biggest blow to his credit in ages. Days early of th3j35t3r's Justice Serving date JoshTheGod was arrested since Josh apparently took a number with the FBI in a large scale sting on a fake carder forum and didn't know how to shot web. undaunted by this th3j35t3r still shamelessly took credit for the sting until another hacker named @SHG_Nackt called him out on it and pointed out all his neat little faults in a single package.
  88.  
  89. Jester altered his tweets to give the FBI credit for arrested Mir Islam while still standing on the pedestal of a hero.
  90.  
  91.  
  92. -That's So Craven-
  93.  
  94. During the same time th3j35t3r was dealing with UGNazi a huge blow to his ego was delivered when not only his previous emails but VPN services, Twitter RSS Feed, and other other fun goodies were dug up from his treat bag all showing he was far less secure than he once boasted. The person claiming credit to the leak was Wize and th3j35t3r is noted for NEVER going after him for revenge. Which is funny seeing that a single denial of service attack = big deal, but hacking his box = cannon fodder. After a few days of a blackout and not a word from the man himself, th3j35t3r was busy at work in his batcave to write up a new defense for his obvious security breach. The grand plan? It was all just as planned. Wait what? Exactly as he said, He planned it out all ahead of time and that he "Sanitized" the accounts and set them up as booby traps or "rabbit holes" as he put it in line with his strange recent Johnny Depp fetish. However time would prove that his old emails were as sanitary as a pig. People dug up many emails of people whom he talked to personally. The star of this being Crystal M Craven. th3j35t3r's reaction to this was similar to coming out of cardiac arrest. He not only fell over his own timeline, Twice. He also changed up his story 5 times.
  95.  
  96. First it was Craven was a sock puppet he created and made a cheap shot by calling her Crystal Meth Craven, raising his douche level to an all time high. The real @crystalmcraven however was not playing ball and was not happy with the negative attention she was gaining from th3j35t3r's poor psyop.
  97.  
  98. The story then changed to the fact that he talked to her two years ago. Again Craven denied.
  99.  
  100. Then he changed the story into a psychedelic clusterfuck of Anons having time machines and trying to Psyop him with a fake email account of Craven long before her twitter account even existed. I wish i was shitting you.
  101.  
  102. After the third attempt everyone stopped caring, but th3j35t3r kept up the good fight for his own good [citation needed] name. After a week or so of it, everyone got tired of it, th3j35t3r swept the issue under the rug and it was never mentioned again.
  103.  
  104.  
  105. -PLG Fame Whoring Is Magic-
  106.  
  107. After the sting of the JoshTheGod debacle, th3j35t3r needed a new zest for life to gain back many of his lost followers. So he did was he does best. Make another story. This time his new tool Project Looking Glass complete with a photo shopped picture of the open source program Beef and stolen logo from the REAL Project Looking Glass Charity. th3j35t3r was called out for his massive douche baggery so undaunted by his nay sayers he made up more fantastical fairy tails about how he did indeed smite JoshTheGod and no one else with PLG and hooked him 4 days before he started his near month long tirade against UGNazi and how he handed over an encrypted bin of information to the FBI's twitter about their "dox". Which would have held up well, if someone had not pointed out yet again that he thought JoshTheGod was in NZ long after he claimed to hook Josh's twitter account and that all his fake IP logs and photo shops didn't hold up in the court of common sense. The FBI's twitter never responded to him, and the paste was never mentioned again let alone opened once.
  108.  
  109.  
  110. -Asherah's Wrath-
  111.  
  112. Some time after the PLG shit storm @AsherahResearch came out and about to call out th3j35t3r in his own big tent. This time however, she came with something few other trolls, anons or hackers that tried to dox th3j35t3r in the past were equipped with before. Facts and proof to discredit th3j35t3r in ways never before. In her picture album Tango Bullshit, she strategically picked th3j35t3r apart with his own time line and pointed out both the logical fallacies in his statements, but also the contradictions of what he stood for. This hurt th3j35t3r more than any other blow to him in the past since Tango Bullshit pointed out everything from why his programs don't exist to where his probable Man Cave is. In this time other users such as @SHG_Nackt and @Rencrypted ripped th3j35t3r a new one, whom both dismantled him psychologically and technically. His whole cover for his cult of personality was blown and his Tango Downs were systematically proven to be as real as gifts from Santa Clause.
  113.  
  114. th3j35t3r didn't take this bent over, or sitting down for this matter. In a massive dick move he posted dox of @AsherahResearch's husband and made many personal name calling attacks against her making her look obsessed with him and created a timeline about her as fictional as PLG, only less funny. He then went on to criticize her character about how she fails to watch her own kids and lashes out about the fact that he is indeed a kissless virgin and will never have kids. After his huge tantrum about her obsession and continuing to ignore his very borderline homo erotic obsession with JoshTheGod, th3j35t3r decided to write a huge blog about Asherah and go on to claim that she is not only negligent to her children, but she and her husband were also common criminals. This plan worked wonderfully as people quickly forgot about his lustful obsession with Josh. Soon after th3j35t3r deleted the blog and claimed she was no longer worth his time and to call the tirade quits. Which lasted a good half week. Rumor has it they have been sending pizzas to eachother's houses and ding dong ditching eachother ever since.
  115.  
  116.  
  117. -Tango Blog-
  118.  
  119. Some time in late September th3j35t3r's blog was Tango Downed not once, but twice. When th3j35t3r got up out of the wrong side of his bed that morning, he looked up his blog only to find out he had fail. He instantly lashed out demanding his provider to answer questions he had about why his domain was Julian Assange'd and extradited from the internets. At first he has no idea what was going on. He then made claims he had an idea of what was going on. Then it turned into him making up a bogus backdoor which was lurking "wasn't" on his fantabulously script kiddie .TK domain. His provider showed him that he got the boot not only because of rampant infections effecting other people's computers through his own domain but also because he broke the Terms of Service. Yes they apply to Patriot Hackers for Good as well.
  120.  
  121. th3j35t3r went into a blind rage blaming everyone including @AsherahResearch with nil next to no proof. He blamed everyone but the right person. As time has shown us, detective work was never th3j35t3r's strong point. If it was, he would have already seen a related picture posted up on Twitter that already showed everyone's favourite prankster @Sanguinarious reporting th3j35t3r's blog for breaching ToS. It was too late for th3j35t3r to pull back his claims so he continued to blame @AsherahResearch and hope no one would notice.
  122.  
  123. In the mean time everyone was questioning how th3j35t3r's blog came to end up like this. Many proclaimed it was the man himself who had another motive up his sleeve to use his vast amount of followers like slaves in a brilliant bit coin mining scheme. Which would have been just well since his whole @cubespherical plot bombed. Perhaps someone else did it out of spite. Maybe @AsherahResearch really did do it.
  124.  
  125. http://pastebin.com/6DAL4sjj
  126.  
  127. ...Or that. Winner, @Sanguinarious. Flawless Victory.
  128.  
  129.  
  130. -Iraq The The Future-
  131.  
  132. It's obvious th3j35t3r is getting old in his age. He has been tango downing less and getting into far less fights with teenagers in crazy wild west dox offs. Many would speculate that he's just tired of taking the humiliating sweaty backdoor hammer time love making from all the teenagers who manage to outfox a grown man so called Former Military Computer Super God. Maybe he's simply bored with his muse. One thing is for certain and that we will still see much more of th3j35t3r. No matter what incarnation he takes on in the next world.
  133.  
  134. Troll.
  135.  
  136. Capn: Bitch.
  137.  
  138. Lover.
  139.  
  140. Josh: Bitch.
  141.  
  142. Hacker.
  143.  
  144. FBI: Bitch.
  145.  
  146. Corpse.
  147.  
  148. th3j35t3r: ...
  149.  
  150.  
  151. But one thing is for certain. And that is that th3j35t3r truly. Sucks Ass.
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