Typhoon at the museum

	You stood in front of the museum, feeling like you were going to be sick. You were unreasonably nervous. For months, this wonderful mare had been coming by the market where you worked, and she had finally agreed to go out with you. As friends. You were pretty sure that she was already seeing somepony else, but you couldn’t help yourself. Everything about her was just so beautiful, from her accent to the way that she moved. Even if she didn’t think this was a date, and even if it led nowhere, it would still be worth it to spend some time with her.

	Her voice broke through your thoughts. “‘Ello!”

	“Hiya Typhoon.” You said. “Fancy seeing you here.”

	Thankfully, she chuckled at your terrible joke. “Sorry I’em late.”

	“You’re not late, I was early. Shall we go inside?” You asked, thankful that you weren’t stammering. You couldn’t look at her, otherwise you might lose your confidence.

	“Oui, monsieur.” She said, smiling. You knew, because you had looked, and you had to stop yourself before you got lost in her eyes. Even if she was seeing somepony already, she seemed to be a little bit into you at least. You held the door open for her as you passed through.

	You had chosen the museum because it was ambiguous; going to dinner was a date, a museum was something friends could enjoy together. However, there were two other reasons that the museum was perfect. First of all, it was free.

	“Zis is so wonderful!” Typhoon exclaimed, looking at the ancient tapestries on the wall. It was all old news to you, you had been here eight times already. Ever since Twilight Sparkle had excavated the old castle on the edge of the Everfree forest, turning it into a museum, this had been one of your favorite places to go. It seemed like it was Typhoon’s first time here, though.

	“Wait until you see the library.” You said, heading in that direction. The two of you walked through the hall, into a room that was lined floor to ceiling with books. Of course, Twilight had already taken the valuable books out, and had left these in for decoration. However, some of the more interesting books were scattered about the place in glass cases, with a plaque explaining why they were important to Canterlot’s history.

	You looked over at Typhoon, just in time to catch her nostrils flaring. You spoke up. “Isn’t this great?”

	“Oui…” She said, her nostrils flaring twice more. “I zink I liked eet better out zere zhough…”

	“Is something wrong?” You asked, knowing full well what was going on. You wanted to hear her say it, though. This was the second reason that the museum was perfect. The air was full of dust, especially in the library. If you could hear Typhoon’s sneeze, you would be perfectly content to leave her alone. You had fantasized about it last night. A quiet mare like Typhoon must have a cute, girly sneeze.

	“Non, I just like zee paintings…” Typhoon said. She brought her hoof to her nose and rubbed.

	“Well, we can go back out there if you want to.” You said, trying your best to look dejected.

	“Ah non, we should stay here for a beet, I want to see zee library too.” Typhoon conceded.

	Excellent. You took a book off of one of the shelves at random, and began leafing through it. Dust flew off of the old pages.

	“Are you… hh… ahhllowed to be doing zat?” Typhoon asked, breathily.

	“Ehh.. Maybe not.” You said. “But they left them here. If they really didn’t want me doing it they would have locked the books up, or glued them down.”

	“I just… don’t wahhant you to… geet een trouble…” Typhoon was rubbing furiously at her nose. You put the book away, and you could hear her let out a sigh of relief. This was going to be fun.

	Sneezy mares turned you on, but what really got you going was when they talked about it. You broke the silence. “Man, this dust is tickling my nose. Is it bothering you at all?”

	“Non.” Typhoon said, flatly, although anypony with eyes could see that she was lying, just as you had been. Typhoon’s eyelids half covered her eyes, and she tilted her head back slightly. “hhh… hh… hhh…”

	The gorgeous pink mare rubbed her nose again, unfortunately shooing the sneeze away. “I zink we should go back out of ‘ere.”

	You couldn’t think of any excuse to stay, so you nodded, and started heading for the exit. As you approached the door, you looked back at Typhoon, and since you weren’t watching your step, you “tripped” over a pile of books, sending clouds of dust into the air.

	Typhoon’s eyes went wide, and then squinted shut as her head leaned back. She brought a hoof to her nose, but it was too late. Hopefully. “hhh… Ahh… Aah… whew…”

	Damn. This mare was stubborn.

	“Are you alright?” She said, as you stood back up.

	“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” You replied, and the two of you exited the library.

	“I need to use zee bathroom.” Typhoon said. “Do you know where eet ees?”

	You pointed, but also began walking in that direction. As she headed into the bathroom, you drank from the water fountain, listening for the sound of Typhoon sneezing inside. However, it seemed that she was sneezing so quietly that you couldn’t hear it. You could imagine it, plain as day.

	“I haas… hafta sneeze…” Typhoon would say to nopony in particular, as she darted into a stall. Then, her head would tilt back, her nostrils would flare up, and… “ichhuu… ichhiuuu… hitchhoo!”

	You suddenly noticed your massive erection, and popped into the bathroom to splash some cold water on your face. This is why ponies usually wore clothes on dates.

	You exited the bathroom to find Typhoon waiting for you. Her nose was a little pink, as if she had been blowing it, but other than that her sneeze seemed to be gone.

	However, as you walked towards the art gallery, it was clear that the dust was starting to get to Typhoon. Her head leaned back again, and her mouth opened. “hhh.. hahh… whew…”

	“Typhoon, is everything alright? You’ve been quiet all night.” You said.

	“Eet ees nozhing… my dust… hh… ahhllergies are… hh… acting up a bit…” Typhoon said. It may have been the sexiest thing anypony had ever said to you. You could feel your member starting to get excited.

	“So you don’t hate me, you just have to sneeze.” You replied, fishing for more allergy talk.

	Typhoon simply nodded her head, but she halted to rub her nose. “hhh… aah… Aahh…”

	The beautiful pegasus once again kept her sneeze from surfacing. She was teasing you to no end, and she didn’t even know it. “So why not just sneeze and get it over with, so you can enjoy yourself?”

	“I cahh… can’t… hh… eet res embarrassing.” Luckily, she seemed too wound up in her sneeze to notice your throbbing erection.

	“Do you want to leave?” You asked.

	“hhh… I guess.” Typhoon replied, still rubbing her nose.

	You looked around the room, nopony seemed to be watching. This mare was going to sneeze, whether she wanted to or not. You tapped her on the shoulder. “C’mon, I know a shortcut.”

	She followed you as you ducked under some caution tape, into a dark passageway.

	“Are you sure we… hhh” Typhoon said, but you cut her off.

	“Shhh!” You said, giving no further explanation. You took a right turn, and a then a left. Typhoon put her hoof on your back. She clearly couldn’t see anything. You wondered how pissed she was going to be when she found out you had no idea where you were going.

	The hallway widened, and suddenly, you bumped into something, causing it to topple over. You cast a light spell, and revealed a room full of dusty boxes, most of which you had just ran into.

	Typhoon’s eyes widened. She began backing away, but stopped as her head tilted back, and her eyes squeezed shut. Her mouth fell open as she put on a slack-jawed expression. “hhh… Non… Ahh… Non! AHH…”

	“AAAHHHH!” A slight breeze picked up from behind you, blowing the dust towards the sneezy mare in front of you. It began to grow stronger, and you could hear papers moving about the room. “AAAAHHHHH! AAAAHHHHHHH!”

	“GGGAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTIIISSSSSSSCCCCCHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Typhoon sneezed, massively. A hurricane of air came out of her, knocking you to the ground. Boxes flew apart, spilling their contents to the wind. As the gusts began to die down, dust was pushed back at the pink mare as it rebounded off of the far wall.

	“Ahh.. AHH!” Typhoon began, but you picked yourself off of the ground, and began to rub Typhoon’s nose, hoping that she wouldn’t sneeze again. Your ears were still ringing from the last one.

	“AHHH… AAAHHHH….” Typhoon continued, and the sound of hoofsteps echoed out from down the hallway.

	“Oh shit.” You said, and guided Typhoon into a nearby closet, shutting off your light spell.

	“I steell… hhh… hafta…” Typhoon whispered, pushing her nose into your hoof. You rubbed it as hard as you dared, trying to stay silent.

	“AHHH…” Typhoon hitched. You shoved your other hoof over her mouth. “HHHHH…”

	The hoofsteps were growing louder, but Typhoon seemed to be getting her sneeze under control. Suddenly, a rustling sound came from above you, and a feather duster slid down, hitting the ground with a *whump!*

	“non…” Typhoon squeaked, saying what you both were thinking. Her head tilted back until she was facing the ceiling, and she began to violently hitch, her entire body rocking back and forth as she inhaled and exhaled. Her hoof pressed into yours, as if putting it there would somehow help you rub faster.

	“HHHHHHH!” A particularly large hitching breath caused Typhoon’s hips to smash into the wall, and another rustling sound came from the shelf above. *Clang!* came the sound of something hitting the ground, and the sound was accompanied with a sharp scent as some sort of cleaning powder filled the air.

	The footsteps stopped outside. Whoever it was didn’t seem to have a light on them, so the two of you might just have been fine, were it not for what happened next.

	Typhoon’s hoof slid down off of yours, and began to fan in front of her face. One of your hooves could feel her nostrils flaring wildly, angrily, and your other hoof could feel her mouth twisting into a grimace.

	“HHHHHHHHH!! HHHHHHHH-HHH!” The closet doors began to clatter, and you knew this mare was done for. You removed your hooves, allowing the sneeze to fully take hold. “HAAAHAAAAAAH! AAHAAAAAHAAAH!”

	“HHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSCCCCCCHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Typhoon exploded, and the closet doors burst open. The guard pony in front of the closet was pushed over, and his hat flew off. The feather duster was destroyed, and feathers blew around in the breeze. “AHHH… AAAAAAAH… AHAAAHAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

	A few of the feathers were sucked towards Typhoon, and one of them stuck into her nose. She instantly sneezed. “KKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTSSSSSSSCCCCCCHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!!”

	The guard pony got up as the breeze died down. Typhoon pointed at you. “hh.. Eet was all haah-hees idea!”

	Your “date” darted off, abandoning you to face the consequences. Totally. Worth. It.