Pabs entered for the first time
Pabs: heyo
mar: tbf im not sure what you want me to say
Scratch: HEY LOOK THERE HE IS
Pabs: sorry i was a little busy but i'm here now
Scratch: PABLO START US OFF PLEASE
mar: i mean exo already knows everything i said which is fine
mar: and i already know what she thinks
Pabs: i didn't see the tumblr message calling me here either so
Helena: did you see my message on your talk page or
mar: yes
Helena: alright
mar: and i dont really want to talk to you because i quite honestly find you unpleasant and i know you feel the same way and we dont have to get along
Pabs: as far as i'm concerned i just kinda wanna clear up any animosity, i admit i probably held a grudge over stuff that i now know is a little inaccurate so i'm sorry for that
mar: but i think that its not right to go about it the way we do esp. because of how much division i think its causing
mar: bc ive tried a lot with you but i think you mostly dont forgive or really apologize
Helena: i try to forgive where im wrong
mar: bc when i had the argument with scratch i did realize i was wrong, but the way you came in was definitely not a positive approach to a problem either
Helena: tbh i feel like you don't forgive or really apologize either; i dont know if it's just mre or not
Pabs: basically snick had told exo about, what at the time, seemed to just be "marina is bullying snick and spark got involved", but now i know it was more of a two-sided discussion than that and i admit, i kind of clung to that anyways and it affected my opinions too much
mar: i made a blog apologizing explicitly and you refused to forgive me is the thing, and im not particularly sure what ive done to hurt you so badly anyway
Helena: i admit i was not a positive approach in that situation or that blog
Pabs: maybe there's some things we just don't agree on but i wanna drop all the grudges and admit that i was wrong
mar: well helena can you at least tell me what youre holding a grudge over still
Pabs: (just so it's clear i know you're talking to helena but i just wanted to get that out there)
mar: bc i do try to analyze myself and improve a lot, which i think i did with that argument bc ive made up with scratch and i dont know if he holds it personally now, but we've been pretty friendly recently
Helena: <afk for a sec>​
Scratch: i dont hold it that personally
Scratch: im still conditioned to be kinda antagonistic and frankly thats my issue and mine alone
mar: and just. to be totally honest i feel like your grudge against me is still carrying over from when i was a crat
Scratch: so im sorry for whatever bullshit that causes
Athena entered for the first time 11 seconds ago
Athena: sorry im late
mar: and correct me if im wrong but it seems like since then youve really only seen me ever in one mindset which is that im an antagonist and that i hurt people and you jump on me without knowing MY full story
what they throw lo cee blow entered for the first time
Athena: regarding the bullying; i overreacted, i was either scared, being jerkish, or both. i lost contact with fanskypo so i clung to pab and exo and i wish i knew beforehand that there was no turning back
Athena: if i knew what the consequences were going to be, maybe i would have remained silent
Pabs: i don't think it was wrong to try and talk to people about it but in hindsight it was an overreaction ab
Athena: it was also dreb who passed me logs, wanted to know if anyone was talking about me. of course i should have remained silent, they wouldn't talk about me that way. then i overreacted to a stupid joke, then action unfolded overnight
Pabs: and i'm sorry for holding a grudge over that very misinformed viewpoint
mar: pablo tbh the whole thing for you was: im not really sure why you were mad about me
mar: like youre allowed to be but... it just seemed out of nowhere
Athena: i wish i had the full blast of the blow, i should have been told with myself present to 'fuck myself'. of course, i had a school bedtime, so i just laid in bed, guilty, knowing the next day wasn't going to be pretty
Pabs: it's kind of multiple factors and i'm sorry that it came out of nowhere
Scratch: (gonna go afk, im not involved rn)
Pabs: like i said, i heard about what athena said about you bullying her - i know it's misinformation now but at the time it was easy to get upset over it
Helena
i think it was a thing that came from the era that you were a crat like you said, we were always fighting over stuff and what not and it just... never really went away for me. you attacked me a lot, i attacked you a lot, and it just kept going because we don't agree about some things
i never felt respected or really anything that wasn't at least scorn from you and your friends
i overreact a lot and i burnt a bridge that keeps getting burnt
we dont communicate on a level where we can both understand each other and i think a part of that comes from fear of doing so at least on my part because when we disagree it seems like it suddenly elevates over time to be a huge argument
Athena: i felt absolutely horrible when i read both chatzy and skype logs after that. i tried to make up for my actions by attempting to refriend marina and others, but scars are scars, and scars don't die
mar: athena im not even slightly upset w/ you lol
Helena: and im so tired of fighting but then i see a message from you talking about lapis as a joke and i just feel sick to my stomach
Athena: i was told i apologize too much, i do, im just...auugh im sorry hhh
Pabs: plus really, and i'll be honest here, my grudge is more with spark, i avoid talking about him as others can vouch for me but i think i was projecting my feelings about him onto you since you two are pretty good friends and i'm sorry for that too, i know it's wrong for me to do that and i'm trying to be better so i want to clear things up and apologize
Athena: marina: i did dumb crap, i just wanted to explain what happened on my end so it was clear
jasper: she wasnt talking about lapis as a joke if you meant today
mar: well you were saying there were scars or something
mar: but theres not
Pabs: me or athena
Helena: somebody was apparently
jasper: the only joke she made about it was that it was made because of her being a sjw
jasper: we talking about lapis
jasper: *were
Helena: Real Happy Scratch: according to marina, it was a "joke"
mar: i dont know if anyone made a real joke unless that one was horribly malicious
jasper: we were talking about why it existed
mar: well
Athena: i thought i wounded my friendships and that you guys would hold onto the dumb things i did...guess not
mar: usage of "sjw" is ironic but it did begin to exist bc of how i was when i was crat
Helena: i think it's outgrown it's original purpose; we use it for other things now
Scratch: "the only joke she made about it was that it was made because of her being a sjw" i was referring to this
Scratch: okay afk for real
Helena: ah okay
Helena: ive never called you a sjw
jasper: oh well i took "talking about lapis as a joke" as if she was like insinuating that the wiki itself was a joke
jasper: maybe i misunderstood you then exo
jasper: my bad
Pabs: i'm nor really up to date on what was said about lapis but i hope that i managed to apologize for how i've acted in general
mar: well its fair for us to disagree and the only thing i really want is for us not to really hate each other and for all of our friends to not hate us
Helena: i know it's ironic joking but still, i know you have different opinions but that doesn't make you a sjw
mar: well i wasnt really implying anyone thought im an "sjw"
Pabs: i held grudges for some pretty crappy reasons and i don't want to do that anymore, i may not want to hang out and we may not always agree but i don't want to just go around feeling like i'm mad at you
Athena: im just glad you're not upset with me marina, or at least not much upset, you have been one of my greater friends in '15 and it was a shame to lose you (or so i thought i lost)
Helena: ive held enough grudges, ones that dont even make sense anymore and i just want to get rid of them now
mar: i dont really have any grudges against you i mostly just want to hear an apology
Athena: anyway any grudges i hold now, which are very few, im going to drop.
mar: bc ive apologized to you enough times and i want it to be over
mar: and if it matters then im sorry for today, i mostly had some opinions i wanted to voice and i dont know if they were over the top or something
mar: anyway i need to go soon
Pabs: i want it to be over too, i'm trying to apologize and i hope you accept it
marina entered for the first time 11 seconds ago
Athena: this is going to sound dumb but these logs aren't going on fantendo right? just curious
marina: i mean no
marina: they shouldnt have a reason to
Athena: ok good; didn't want indigo to have access to these as im not allowed to be up beyond my bedtime
Athena: i know that sounds dumbbb
Helena: i apologize for the things i've done in the past, i admit i was at fault for the blog and the skype thing with scratch