Well, idk how to really start this... Besides, I don't want to live anymore. :/

I really can't deal with this, if you thought this was going to fix things between us, you were wrong, this has just made everything for me worse.
I haven't been in a good mood for months.
Like, life is just shit. All I ever wanted was to be your friend and still talk to you, and even before all of this,
all I cared about is you and now you're doing this. I told you already that I couldn't live with this, you didn't care.
Yes, I understand how I hurt you, yes I overreacted to everything, but was this really necessary? You already knew I
could've changed, you knew I would be willing to do anything for you even if we were still only friends.
You said that you'd understand if I went overboard and give me time for myself, you said you'd give me a second chance,
what ever happened to that? You knew doing this would've been selfish, you knew this would hurt me more, you knew
that I couldn't live with being the reason of all of this, you knew my life was already shit without all of this, yet
you still chose to do this to me even when you knew what was with me and what my life was like. I told you I couldn't
live with this, yes I know I'm repeating shit a lot. But the point of this is that I don't want to fucking live anymore.
This has done nothing but ruin everything more, yea you're happy, yea you're enjoying life, but here I am, depressed as fuck,
and going to bed hoping not to wake up the next morning. It looks like you've found a new group of friends so I guess
that this doesn't matter that much. If you really did care about me, then you would know that none of this is helping.
If I don't kill myself, I won't be anyhere near anyone anymore, probably give up on life and do nothing with it.

















Well.... theres not really a way to start this besides that I don't want to live anymore. Everything has gone to shit for me, so yea I'm young, what of it, I don't care for anything, not even my own life. The only thing/person I ever
cared about no longer gives a flying fuck about me and has a better life whilst shutting me out of it. Uh, lets see, I've been suicidal ever since 6th grade, but as of recently this is the most I've thought about it and actually
wanted to do it. If you are reading this, you know who you are, did you really think shutting me out entirely like this was going to help me in anything? When you knew that you were the only reason why I didn't actually kill
myself any sooner. Yet you still decide to do this and now you love how your life is going with me being completely shut out of it. So now I really don't see a point in living anymore. I don't care for anything, there's nothing
positive about my life, I haven't been in a good mood for over a month, I starve myself because I'm never in a mood to do anything. So yea, you don't really have a way to talk to me since you've blocked me in literally everything,
but yea, thats that. You have a better life without me in it, you're happy whilst im suicidal, you're happy without me, I'm suicidal without you, so I guess this is it. And if I don't kill myself, I'm gonna be gone for a while,
everytime I log into steam or just play cs, I get more depressed, the only thing that I enjoy doing makes me depressed and any motivation to play is just gone. I I'll hopefully be 7 feet under the ground if you need me.