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Saving The World or Something Like That

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Oct 11th, 2014
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  1. [10/11/14, 8:29:17 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite still has a headache
  2. [10/11/14, 8:29:35 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Proper Noun (sba) offers praa pain meds.
  3. [10/11/14, 8:29:55 PM] the parasprite: dun help
  4. [10/11/14, 8:29:58 PM] the parasprite: :/
  5. [10/11/14, 8:30:02 PM] the parasprite: just makes it worse
  6. [10/11/14, 8:30:18 PM] Saboba: Saboba casts curaga
  7. [10/11/14, 8:30:19 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence offers Para as a sacrifice
  8. [10/11/14, 8:31:00 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite is sacrificed
  9. [10/11/14, 8:32:08 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired performs his witch doctor ceremony
  10. [10/11/14, 8:32:30 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding, is pleased by this sacrifice, and offers Obselescence one wish within the bounds of his limitless power.
  11. [10/11/14, 8:32:50 PM] Obselescence: I wish for Para to come back to life but also without a headache
  12. [10/11/14, 8:33:01 PM] Obselescence: That's how you get the job done
  13. [10/11/14, 8:33:12 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired translates the wish
  14. [10/11/14, 8:33:33 PM] the parasprite: kewl
  15. [10/11/14, 8:33:59 PM] Proper Noun (sba): You have made your wish, mortal, but the requested power is not within the domain of Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding. Your wish is wasted.
  16. [10/11/14, 8:34:31 PM] Obselescence: What
  17. [10/11/14, 8:34:35 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired donks the God on the head with his voodoo stick
  18. [10/11/14, 8:34:38 PM] Obselescence: I guess your power isn't really limitless then is it
  19. [10/11/14, 8:34:42 PM] Obselescence: What a wimpy god
  20. [10/11/14, 8:35:04 PM] Obselescence: I'm going to tell all your god friends about how embarrassingly you suck
  21. [10/11/14, 8:35:16 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired translates
  22. [10/11/14, 8:35:27 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite lies dead upon the alter
  23. [10/11/14, 8:35:41 PM] Obselescence: They will laugh about it at the next underwater ancient god party
  24. [10/11/14, 8:35:44 PM] Proper Noun (sba): You attempt to mock Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding, and he is displeased with your impudent words. He asks if you have any last words of your own.
  25. [10/11/14, 8:36:12 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired is the witch doctor, so he worries not for his life
  26. [10/11/14, 8:36:48 PM] Obselescence: Just two:
  27. [10/11/14, 8:36:54 PM] Obselescence: MEAT SHIELD
  28. [10/11/14, 8:36:57 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite still lies dead upon the alter
  29. [10/11/14, 8:37:04 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence throws Para at Phal'gnn Rlytargn and cheeses it
  30. [10/11/14, 8:37:07 PM] the parasprite: :O
  31. [10/11/14, 8:37:34 PM] Art Inspired: … I was using that.
  32. [10/11/14, 8:38:38 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding screams at you the legendary Curse of a Thousand Vague Threats as you make your escape. Then, deprived of anything else to do, he chews on the corpse recently sacrificed to him.
  33. [10/11/14, 8:39:30 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence tells all the other Ancient Gods that Phal'grnn Rlytargn is a wimp and also a skinflint
  34. [10/11/14, 8:39:43 PM] Obselescence: "Also he can't accept criticism, like, at all."
  35. [10/11/14, 8:40:00 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired translates radically to all the other fucking Gods
  36. [10/11/14, 8:40:15 PM] Art Inspired: Being a witch doctor ain’t easy!
  37. [10/11/14, 8:40:56 PM] Proper Noun (sba): The other Ancient Gods do not grant you audience, nor do they heed your words. It would seem that they don't really care about Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding - and, according to your experience, perhaps they shouldn't.
  38. [10/11/14, 8:41:34 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired reads a note left from the leader of the Gods themselves…
  39. [10/11/14, 8:41:44 PM] Art Inspired: “Stop bugging us, please…"
  40. [10/11/14, 8:42:02 PM] Dreamingnoctis: Hi.
  41. [10/11/14, 8:42:13 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite is chewed and digested by Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding
  42. [10/11/14, 8:42:40 PM] Obselescence: On 10/11/14, at 8:40 PM, Proper Noun (sba) wrote:
  43. > The other Ancient Gods do not grant you audience, nor do they heed your words. It would seem that they don't really care about Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding - and, according to your experience, perhaps they shouldn't.
  44.  
  45. Good, I bet he's going to totally not going to get invited to the next party
  46. [10/11/14, 8:43:02 PM] Art Inspired: Neither will I. Thanks, guys! ;-;
  47. [10/11/14, 8:43:04 PM] Dreamingnoctis: lol
  48. [10/11/14, 8:43:10 PM] Proper Noun (sba): A passing servant of the Ancient Gods acknowledges Dreamingnoctis's greeting with a quick nod, but quickly moves on - he appears to be very busy with some sort of paperwork.
  49. [10/11/14, 8:43:13 PM] Dreamingnoctis: Such vivid imaginations!
  50. [10/11/14, 8:43:20 PM] Obselescence: On 10/11/14, at 8:43 PM, Proper Noun (sba) wrote:
  51. > A passing servant of the Ancient Gods acknowledges Dreamingnoctis's greeting with a quick nod, but quickly moves on - he appears to be very busy with some sort of paperwork.
  52. [10/11/14, 8:43:24 PM] Obselescence: HERE'S MY CHANCE
  53. [10/11/14, 8:43:32 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence tackles the servant and wears his Mindflaying tentacles
  54. [10/11/14, 8:43:50 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite continues to be digested
  55. [10/11/14, 8:44:06 PM] Obselescence: Don't worry Para I will probably avenge you
  56. [10/11/14, 8:44:15 PM] Obselescence: Your murderer will be brought to justice
  57. [10/11/14, 8:44:38 PM] Proper Noun (sba): "Hey," the servant objects, without rising from the floor. "Those are mine, you can't have those!"
  58.  
  59. Elsewhere, Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding experiences indigestion in the form of copious flatulence.
  60. [10/11/14, 8:44:43 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired teleports Para out of the belly of Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding, and notices Para is now an Orc.
  61. [10/11/14, 8:45:00 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence kicks the servant until he shuts up and continues onward
  62. [10/11/14, 8:45:12 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite is hideous orc
  63. [10/11/14, 8:45:20 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite is still dead
  64. [10/11/14, 8:45:25 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence infiltrates the underwater temple complex with his new disguise
  65. [10/11/14, 8:45:28 PM] Obselescence: "Hey Charlie"
  66. [10/11/14, 8:46:19 PM] Proper Noun (sba): The battered servant of the Ancient Gods whimpers, curled into a protective ball in a corner.
  67.  
  68. "Who's Charlie?" asks the first person Obselescence meets. "Who are ~you~? What's the secret phrase?"
  69. [10/11/14, 8:46:43 PM] Obselescence: Uuuh
  70. [10/11/14, 8:46:45 PM] Obselescence: uuuuuuuuh
  71. [10/11/14, 8:47:05 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence attempts to invent secret phrase
  72. [10/11/14, 8:47:07 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired takes his bone helmet off.
  73. [10/11/14, 8:47:14 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence mumbles something indistinctly
  74. [10/11/14, 8:47:18 PM] Art Inspired: I don’t wanna play this game anymore u guise
  75. [10/11/14, 8:47:19 PM] Obselescence: There I said it
  76. [10/11/14, 8:47:23 PM] Obselescence: good day to you, Charlie
  77. [10/11/14, 8:48:16 PM] Proper Noun (sba): "Don't tell us it's 'swordfish,'" the servant confronted says. "I tried it myself, I couldn't get a pass - so I know it's not -- hey, where are you going?!" He stands there, baffled; apparently the servants of the Ancient Gods have no idea what to do with a less-than-obedient visitor.
  78.  
  79. [10/11/14, 8:49:19 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence encounters the guard to the temple door
  80. [10/11/14, 8:49:28 PM] Obselescence: I need an audience with our betentacled lord and savior and I need it now
  81. [10/11/14, 8:49:32 PM] Obselescence: chop chop with the door-opening
  82. [10/11/14, 8:50:01 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired translates for the guard
  83. [10/11/14, 8:50:22 PM] Proper Noun (sba): The guard glares down at Obselescence, and speaks an unknown and maddening tongue. The gestures he makes with his oversized, over-stylized weapon make the message clear, though: GTFO!
  84. [10/11/14, 8:50:23 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite boops Obselescence's nose
  85. [10/11/14, 8:51:02 PM] Obselescence: Look buddy we all have places to be. God-dude is expecting me right now so if that door ain't open in a minute I'm sure he'll get wrathy with someone
  86. [10/11/14, 8:51:05 PM] Obselescence: and it ain't gonna be with me
  87. [10/11/14, 8:51:06 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired begins to tell Obs what he said, but is pushed out of the way. Fifty yards away to be exact.
  88. [10/11/14, 8:51:08 PM] Obselescence: it's gonna be with you
  89. [10/11/14, 8:51:18 PM] Obselescence: Do you want that on your next job reference
  90. [10/11/14, 8:51:21 PM] Obselescence: I don't think so
  91. [10/11/14, 8:52:15 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired teleports back with a black eye and translates some more
  92. [10/11/14, 8:52:39 PM] Proper Noun (sba): The guard, apparently able to understand enough to take offense, roars, and his threatening gestures become more energetic and aggressive.
  93. [10/11/14, 8:53:02 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence sighs
  94. [10/11/14, 8:53:07 PM] Obselescence: Fine, you make a compelling argument
  95. [10/11/14, 8:53:16 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired tells Obs that he is on his period.
  96. [10/11/14, 8:53:27 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence digs into his pockets and hands the guard a few nickels and some old receipts
  97. [10/11/14, 8:53:34 PM] Obselescence: Here, go buy yourself something nice with this
  98. [10/11/14, 8:53:36 PM] Obselescence: Now can I pass
  99.  
  100. [10/11/14, 8:55:12 PM] Proper Noun (sba): The guard practically rips the offering from your hands, and charges off the way you came from, bowling over a group of servants who had finally decided they should come and try to stop you. It's almost as though he's never had money before, or perhaps the material in your coins is considered precious here. Either way, he is gone.
  101. [10/11/14, 8:55:54 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired opens the door for his leigh
  102. [10/11/14, 8:55:56 PM] Obselescence: Excellent. Now for my audience
  103. [10/11/14, 8:56:15 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence goes up to the altar and deposits his remaining dollar-fifty in change.
  104. [10/11/14, 8:56:31 PM] Obselescence: OH GREAT GODMONSTER, LORD OF WHATEVER AND ET CETERA
  105. [10/11/14, 8:56:35 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired adds his two cents
  106. [10/11/14, 8:56:47 PM] Obselescence: I HAVE SOME CHOICE WORDS FOR YOU ABOUT PICKLE-GRAN MCSPOOLY
  107. [10/11/14, 8:56:55 PM] Obselescence: OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS I CAN'T REMEMBER HONESTLY
  108. [10/11/14, 8:57:05 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired translates, predictably
  109. [10/11/14, 8:58:41 PM] Proper Noun (sba): You enter the audience chamber where the Ancient Gods meet with their petitioners and faithful followers, or at least would - the floor is covered in silt. When you place your offering and begin to shout, a door opens on the other side of the chamber, and a rather smallish man comes forward to meet you.
  110.  
  111. "Good day, chap. I'm Wopahgn, Ancient God of Petitioners. What is it you wish to say to we, the Oldest Ones?"
  112.  
  113. [10/11/14, 8:59:22 PM] Obselescence: First up, you really need to improve your security around here.
  114. [10/11/14, 8:59:27 PM] Obselescence: but that's unrelated to my presence right now
  115. [10/11/14, 8:59:43 PM] Obselescence: More important is that this Ancient God, you know the one
  116. [10/11/14, 8:59:45 PM] Derek: o.o
  117. [10/11/14, 8:59:53 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired hugs Wopahgn, as he is cool with all goodish figures
  118. [10/11/14, 8:59:56 PM] Obselescence: Phallic Sponkleheimer or whatever
  119. [10/11/14, 8:59:59 PM] Obselescence: He's a dick
  120. [10/11/14, 9:00:01 PM] Art Inspired: Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding
  121. [10/11/14, 9:00:17 PM] Obselescence: Like, I dunno what you ancient gods have got under the hood
  122. [10/11/14, 9:00:23 PM] Obselescence: but he's basically that
  123. [10/11/14, 9:01:00 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired translates, even though Wopahgn speaks English
  124. [10/11/14, 9:01:44 PM] Proper Noun (sba): "Who?" asks Wopahgn, Ancient God of Petitioners, disregarding your comment about security. "... wait, you mean ~that~ guy? How's the old fellow doing? We haven't heard from him or cared what he was doing in millenia."
  125.  
  126. [10/11/14, 9:02:11 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired repeats the sentence idiotically
  127. [10/11/14, 9:02:20 PM] Obselescence: He's doing dick, that's what he's doing.
  128. [10/11/14, 9:02:24 PM] Obselescence: I demand that you eat him or something.
  129. [10/11/14, 9:02:29 PM] Obselescence: Swallow the dick.
  130. [10/11/14, 9:02:39 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired blushes furiously
  131. [10/11/14, 9:02:47 PM] Derek: Derek backs away into the darkness.
  132. [10/11/14, 9:03:41 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite pulls derek back out
  133. [10/11/14, 9:03:59 PM] Pearple Prose: Pearple Prose pulls out ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  134. [10/11/14, 9:05:28 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Wopahgn, Ancient God of Petitioners, sighs, rubbing his right temple.
  135.  
  136. "Well, Mister Whatdidyousayyournamewas, I'll see if I can wake up Glutoralyeh, Ancient God of Gluttony and Obesity, but I'm afraid it'll take a few centuries. He's still sleeping off his last meal, when he ate the second moon." He hesitates a moment, before putting on a far more chipper air. "So, how else can I help you?"
  137. [10/11/14, 9:05:56 PM] Obselescence: Uuuh
  138. [10/11/14, 9:06:00 PM] Obselescence: I guess we could play poker
  139. [10/11/14, 9:06:13 PM] Obselescence: FOR SOULS
  140. [10/11/14, 9:06:28 PM] Obselescence: I know you've got para's soul in the back somewhere
  141. [10/11/14, 9:06:33 PM] Obselescence: I desire to play you for it.
  142. [10/11/14, 9:06:34 PM] Pearple Prose: Pearple Prose appears, wearing a visor and holding a pack of cards.
  143. [10/11/14, 9:06:38 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired summons a round, wooden table, a stack of Vegas style cards sitting in the dead center
  144.  
  145. [10/11/14, 9:06:38 PM] Pearple Prose: hey are people playing poker
  146. [10/11/14, 9:06:48 PM] Pearple Prose: :(
  147. [10/11/14, 9:07:02 PM] Pearple Prose: hey just go ahead and do that then
  148. [10/11/14, 9:07:25 PM] Art Inspired: >Para is an it
  149. [10/11/14, 9:07:42 PM] Art Inspired: Take it back or I take my fancy table back. >.>
  150. [10/11/14, 9:07:52 PM] Obselescence: >Para's soul is an it
  151. [10/11/14, 9:08:04 PM] Art Inspired: Oh, ok, that makes more sense. Game on, then!
  152. [10/11/14, 9:08:25 PM] Obselescence: DO YOU ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE
  153. [10/11/14, 9:08:28 PM] Proper Noun (sba): A deep, booming voice rumbles through the chamber. It sounds suspiciously like "Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese..." Wopahgn, Ancient God of Petitioners, cringes.
  154.  
  155. "I apologize for that. Sometimes Glutoralyeh, Ancient God of Gluttony and Obesity talks about food in his sleep. And you know, I'm really bad at poker. Tell you what, mate. I haven't had a visitor in eons - you stay for a brief visit, maybe a century or two, and I'll give you Parasprite's soul for free."
  156. [10/11/14, 9:09:12 PM] the parasprite: I am the little girl
  157. [10/11/14, 9:09:16 PM] Hurricane Zenith: joke's on you para has no soul
  158. [10/11/14, 9:09:20 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite becomes m00t
  159. [10/11/14, 9:09:21 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired stares at his hard-to-summon table
  160. [10/11/14, 9:09:26 PM] Obselescence: No that's dumb
  161. [10/11/14, 9:09:27 PM] Art Inspired: Really, seriously?
  162. [10/11/14, 9:09:30 PM] Obselescence: my lifespan is finite
  163. [10/11/14, 9:09:34 PM] Obselescence: I require a game of Poker
  164.  
  165. [10/11/14, 9:09:45 PM] Obselescence: bring out whoever you have to play card games and I will duel them
  166. [10/11/14, 9:10:02 PM] Obselescence: Preferably the God of Gullibility but I will take all comers
  167. [10/11/14, 9:10:22 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired signals Obs to shut up, as he doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into
  168. [10/11/14, 9:10:40 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence reads Art's signal to continue
  169. [10/11/14, 9:10:49 PM] Obselescence: In fact I will bet you Art's soul too to up the ante
  170. [10/11/14, 9:10:52 PM] Pearple Prose: hue
  171. [10/11/14, 9:11:07 PM] Art Inspired: I’m already sold, though...
  172. [10/11/14, 9:11:20 PM] Art Inspired: How do you think I can do all this crazy shit?
  173. [10/11/14, 9:11:21 PM] Obselescence: Oh
  174. [10/11/14, 9:11:23 PM] Obselescence: all right
  175. [10/11/14, 9:11:25 PM] Obselescence: okay then
  176. [10/11/14, 9:11:25 PM] Obselescence: uh
  177. [10/11/14, 9:11:32 PM] Obselescence: I change the bet to Art's sexual services
  178. [10/11/14, 9:11:36 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Wopahgn, Ancient God of Petitioners gapes at your startling admission. "Mortal? You're seriously ~mortal~? For the love of the Darkest One, they don't make sentient life how they used to these days at all! Fine - you wait here. I'll rouse Clkawtanken, Ancient God of Chance." He turns on his heel and marches out the way he came.
  179.  
  180. [10/11/14, 9:11:49 PM] Obselescence: I think we've got good odds on this one.
  181. [10/11/14, 9:12:32 PM] Obselescence: Play to win, Art.
  182. [10/11/14, 9:12:37 PM] Cormac McCloppy: Harro
  183. [10/11/14, 9:12:45 PM] Art Inspired: My sexual services are limitless, so even if we lose, nothing seriously lost, really.
  184. [10/11/14, 9:13:01 PM] Art Inspired: Except your soul as well, I guess...
  185. [10/11/14, 9:13:10 PM] Obselescence: I am confident it will not come to that.
  186. [10/11/14, 9:13:43 PM] Obselescence: Probably.
  187. [10/11/14, 9:14:02 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired begins to shuffle the deck while we wait
  188. [10/11/14, 9:14:17 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence makes preparations
  189. [10/11/14, 9:14:23 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence makes 'preparations'
  190. [10/11/14, 9:14:34 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired prepares his ass
  191. [10/11/14, 9:14:47 PM] Art Inspired: Just in case
  192.  
  193. [10/11/14, 9:15:31 PM] Proper Noun (sba): A great, bulbous jellyfish with hundred-foot tentacles squeezes into the chamber by the same door, within a few minutes. "Who dares to challenge Clkawtanken, Ancient God of Gamblers' Depression? ... no, seriously. I might as well just surrender now. Announce yourself, so that I may throw myself upon you and your mercy."
  194. [10/11/14, 9:15:50 PM] Obselescence: Excellent. I am Obselescence.
  195. [10/11/14, 9:15:55 PM] Obselescence: Surrender and I will be merciful.
  196. [10/11/14, 9:15:58 PM] Obselescence: Probably.
  197. [10/11/14, 9:16:18 PM] Art Inspired: I’m the annoying witch doctor translator guy...
  198. [10/11/14, 9:16:20 PM] Art Inspired: I mean...
  199. [10/11/14, 9:16:25 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired translates
  200. [10/11/14, 9:17:13 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Clkawtanken, Ancient God of Gamblers' Depression, literally throws himself and his many stinging tentacles upon you. It kinda tingles.
  201.  
  202. "Woe is me! Give me your terms, and show mercy to the Unworthy One!"
  203. [10/11/14, 9:17:25 PM] Obselescence: I want Para's soul back
  204. [10/11/14, 9:17:33 PM] Obselescence: and also a pizza if you've got any
  205. [10/11/14, 9:17:38 PM] Obselescence: 'cause man I'm starving
  206. [10/11/14, 9:17:51 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired summons a God damn pizza for Obs
  207. [10/11/14, 9:18:01 PM] Obselescence: oh and spread the word that Pilltank Reallygun is a jerk
  208. [10/11/14, 9:18:04 PM] Obselescence: and a dick
  209. [10/11/14, 9:18:09 PM] Obselescence: These are my demands
  210.  
  211. [10/11/14, 9:18:40 PM] Proper Noun (sba): "Oh... okay. We don't have any pizza, but we'll be hosting a pizza party for our followers in another decade or two. You can come if you want - is that acceptable?"
  212. [10/11/14, 9:18:52 PM] Obselescence: Sure whatever
  213. [10/11/14, 9:19:03 PM] Obselescence: I am a busy man, make quick on my other demands.
  214. [10/11/14, 9:19:49 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired tries to translate for Obs, but is quieted by a tentacle jamming itself down his throat
  215. [10/11/14, 9:20:02 PM] Obselescence: Hey what no
  216. [10/11/14, 9:20:05 PM] Obselescence: we won
  217. [10/11/14, 9:20:09 PM] Obselescence: Art's sexual services remain mine
  218. [10/11/14, 9:20:12 PM] Obselescence: Tentacles off
  219. [10/11/14, 9:23:40 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Clkawtanken, Ancient God of Gambler's Depression, raises his tentacles towards the heavens. "Praise upon you, merciful Obselescence! I shall retrieve what you desire in mere moments!" He reaches through the door, and after a few moments, retreives Parasprite's soul, a small but brilliant white light shining like a will-o-the-wisp in the dim, silty room. He presents you the soul and the Art, and releases them; the soul flies directly into your body.
  220.  
  221. "I don't know why you want the soul of another, but best of luck with your new predicament. I certainly haven't had any."
  222.  
  223. Clkawtanken, Ancient God of Gambler's Depression, retreats through the door in a flash, spraying ink everywhere to conceal his departure.
  224.  
  225. [10/11/14, 9:23:56 PM] Obselescence: Well there we go
  226. [10/11/14, 9:23:59 PM] Obselescence: Welcome home, para
  227. [10/11/14, 9:24:01 PM] Obselescence: probably
  228. [10/11/14, 9:24:16 PM] Obselescence: Wait no this isn't going to work
  229. [10/11/14, 9:24:20 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence bangs on the door again
  230. [10/11/14, 9:24:31 PM] Obselescence: Someone get out here, I have yet more complaints to file
  231. [10/11/14, 9:24:32 PM] Proper Noun (sba): There is no response.
  232. [10/11/14, 9:24:37 PM] Obselescence: Well shoot
  233. [10/11/14, 9:24:38 PM] Proper Noun (sba): (also brb)
  234. [10/11/14, 9:24:51 PM] Obselescence: I guess the only thing to do now is get the old corpse back
  235. [10/11/14, 9:25:13 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired blushes
  236. [10/11/14, 9:25:18 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence goes to the altar of Pozzlethorp Roentgen and offers a ham sandwich
  237. [10/11/14, 9:25:25 PM] Obselescence: OH AWFUL GOD OF SUCK
  238. [10/11/14, 9:25:34 PM] Obselescence: I DEMAND PARA'S BODY BACK
  239.  
  240. [10/11/14, 9:26:02 PM] Obselescence: Don't worry Para, I will get your body back from the villain who took it from you
  241. [10/11/14, 9:26:33 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired simply knocks on the walls abstractedly
  242. [10/11/14, 9:26:41 PM] Art Inspired: Gotta be somewhere…
  243. [10/11/14, 9:27:21 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired finds the switch, and opens a secret door. Para’s Orc body falls out limp and decomposed.
  244. [10/11/14, 9:27:50 PM] Obselescence: Ew no that's horrible
  245. [10/11/14, 9:27:50 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding glares down at the two of you. "Hey, so that's where my dinner went! Give that back, you assholes!"
  246. [10/11/14, 9:27:58 PM] Obselescence: I want it fresh.
  247. [10/11/14, 9:28:15 PM] Obselescence: O NASTY GOD OF BLOOD AND SEWING
  248. [10/11/14, 9:28:18 PM] Obselescence: HEAR MY PLEA
  249. [10/11/14, 9:28:25 PM] Proper Noun (sba): "WOUNDING!" he roars.
  250. [10/11/14, 9:28:25 PM] Obselescence: RESTORE THIS BODY TO ITS FORMER FRESH CONDITION
  251. [10/11/14, 9:28:30 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired pulls out his embalming tools
  252. [10/11/14, 9:28:33 PM] Art Inspired: You call?
  253. [10/11/14, 9:28:47 PM] Obselescence: AND MAYBE I'LL STOP MY SMEAR CAMPAIGN AGAINST YOU
  254. [10/11/14, 9:28:55 PM] Obselescence: IT'S BEEN REALLY EFFECTIVE I THINK
  255. [10/11/14, 9:29:11 PM] the parasprite: What even
  256. [10/11/14, 9:29:22 PM] Cormac McCloppy: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/155096/music-to-his-ears stop trying to understand it and go read this chunkmonkeys
  257. [10/11/14, 9:29:34 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired is finished restoring Para to his original form in seconds
  258. [10/11/14, 9:29:36 PM] Proper Noun (sba): "I shall not grant your request! All the other Ancient Gods already think I'm stupid, anyway! Do your worst!" Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding, says. "I just wanna make food into poop, why is that so wrong?!"
  259. [10/11/14, 9:29:54 PM] Obselescence: Well uh look man I'm sure we've all got problems
  260. [10/11/14, 9:30:03 PM] Obselescence: maybe if you didn't suck so bad all the time the other gods would respect you more
  261.  
  262. [10/11/14, 9:30:08 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired translates
  263. [10/11/14, 9:30:15 PM] Obselescence: you can start by restoring Para's corpse to its former fresh condition
  264. [10/11/14, 9:30:21 PM] Obselescence: tout de suite, yo
  265. [10/11/14, 9:31:14 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding, turns abruptly contemplative. "That may work. I could just eat her over and over again! Forever! That would be awesome!"
  266. [10/11/14, 9:31:24 PM] Obselescence: Uh
  267. [10/11/14, 9:31:36 PM] Obselescence: yeah sure that is completely the intent of my demand
  268. [10/11/14, 9:31:42 PM] Obselescence: now do it already I'm hungry
  269. [10/11/14, 9:31:49 PM] Art Inspired: Yeah I did a crapy job anyway. Mind sowing the limbs back correctly? I could never get that part down correctly.
  270.  
  271. [10/11/14, 9:32:53 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding reaches out and restores Parasprite's body. "Since you've given me such a good idea, I shall award you the first bite." Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding stands by, watching expectantly.
  272. [10/11/14, 9:33:13 PM] Obselescence: Uh
  273. [10/11/14, 9:33:17 PM] Obselescence: yes I will do that now
  274. [10/11/14, 9:33:25 PM] Obselescence: WOAH LOOK AT THAT IS THAT A WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST?
  275. [10/11/14, 9:33:34 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence takes Para's body and cheeses it
  276. [10/11/14, 9:34:27 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding is all-too-easily distracted. He never even returns his attention to you, as he has occupied himself with devouring the many children of Islam.
  277.  
  278. [10/11/14, 9:34:40 PM] Art Inspired: Art Inspired adds pepper
  279. [10/11/14, 9:35:28 PM] Art Inspired: Obs, I think we should go before the war ends…
  280. [10/11/14, 9:36:01 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence makes it to the aboveworld with Para's body
  281. [10/11/14, 9:36:02 PM] Proper Noun (sba): Many thousands of years later, it is prophecied, Phal'gnn Rlytargn, Ancient God of Blood and Wounding shall realize he has been had, and shout a mighty shout that shall bring down the foundation of the heavens. The words of that shout shall be: "CURSE YOU, OBSELESCENCE! CURSE YOU AND MY DISTRACTIBILITY!"
  282. [10/11/14, 9:36:15 PM] Obselescence: Obselescence restores Para's soul to her body.
  283. [10/11/14, 9:36:18 PM] Obselescence: Yup
  284. [10/11/14, 9:36:23 PM] Obselescence: everything all better now
  285. [10/11/14, 9:36:28 PM] Obselescence: I did it, I am the man.
  286. [10/11/14, 9:36:58 PM] the parasprite: the parasprite is still dead
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