bar dnd part something or other

“Why th’ fuck do I gotta do this?”

 

“Because we barely see you, Del. You spend all your time messing around with your rebellion and anarchy shit and you don’t talk to us at all. You could at least drop a line.”

 

Delmond grimaced and scratched his t-shirt at the join where his left prosthetic arm met his torso. His arms were designed to go with a suit of Confederate armour, and even with the pauldrons off they looked too long on him.

 

“I comment on your blog,” he retorted, lamely.

 

“That’s not dropping us a line, and you know it.” Amanda hefted her bag up higher on her shoulder as they walked, and gave him a Look. “That’s trying to rib me. You know, your usual state of being.”

 

“Well you could take tha’ as a sign that I am doin’ well and good.” Del scratched again.

 

“No, that’s a sign you’re not dead. I worry about you, you know. WE worry about you.”

 

“Ma’am, a revolution don’t run itsel’.”

 

“You delegate, right?”

 

“Yeah, bu’ -”

 

“Then delegate harder, Del.”

 

They took a right down the next street, and Del considered the advantages and disadvantages of having everyone else do the work for him. Then he shook his head.

 

“Wha’s in the bag?” he asked.

 

“Chocolate raisins, chocolate bars, chocolate milkshakes, Reeses’ Pieces, Hershey’s, marshmallows, fruit gums, fruit pastilles, sherbert-“

 

“Woah, slow down there, Sarah. Didn’ wan’ an inventory of your cupboard.”

 

Amanda laughed. “Well, Antoin said Pech was ordering a ton of pizzas, and I think Zeff and Osh are bringing a couple of crates of booze, and Shuma said he was bringing something, sooo…”

 

Del raised an eyebrow. “Didn’ think Shuma was th’ nerdy type.”

 

“He claims he inspired at least half the monster manual. I think he’s talking out of his green starfish ass, but whatever. If Doomrider can play this game with no problems, so can he.”

 

The pair turned up the drive of Antion and Pech’s house.

 

“Garnet in?”

 

“Nah, she’s busy with work or something.”

 

“Shame. She knows what’s up.”

 

“You mean you’re both blunt and violent?” Amanda stopped at the front door and pressed the doorbell. The chime echoed back through the door, and there was a suggestion of motion from somewhere inside.

 

“Eeeyup.”

 

Amanda stifled another laugh. “At least she’s smarter than you.”

 

Del smirked. “Ain’t gonna argue with that.”

 

Both of them were laughing when the door opened.

 

"Hi, guys!" Antoinette chirped happily, moving aside to bustle the pair in.  "If you want, just head on to the kitchen, Erebus and Pech are already there, cooking up some stuff really quick!"

 

The truth was a bit more prosiac- Erebus, uncertain everyone else would want a pizza with more meat than bread and sauce, was frying up a pan of bacon and pepperoni while Pech ordered the veritable horde of pizza. Thankfully the shop he was on the phone with was used to both his unique pronunciation and the amount of food being requested.

 

"Ave, you two."

 

"-and if the toppingss are light thiss time, woe betide you, mortal." Pech said, before hanging up. "Hail, Del and Jonesy."

 

“Hey guys,” piped up Amanda, dumping her bags on the worktop. Del merely nodded, raising an eyebrow at the contents of Erebus’ pan.

 

"Oh man, this is gonna be SO AWESOME!" Antoinette said as she walked into the kitchen and leaned on the counter, before lifting her head and listening. Sounded like someone else was here, or arriving, at any rate.

 

And arrive they did. With a crack of breaking reality, a familiar purple portal ripped itself open in the air, right in the middle of the living room. Almost instantly, one green, slimy tentacle emerged from it. Then another. Then four more. And then the rest of Shuma-Gorath hauled himself out of the Chaos Dimension and into reality, an almost manic glint in his single purple eye as he landed upon the floor.

 

"Tremble, o inferior beings of three dimensions," he cackled, writhing horribly on the spot. "For I have brung... THE FOOD OF THE DAMNED!"

 

And with that, the Lord of Chaos reached into the portal and whipped out a tray of something just before the apeture could close. It soon became clear that the something was, in fact, a collection of finely-cooked pastries - sausage rolls, meatbreads, Cornish Pasties, the works. There was even a meat pie in there, the crust a light golden brown, and everything on the tray was giving off that god old "home baking" smell. And not one of them was in any way non-euclidian or Lovecraftian in shape or nature.

 

Shuma's usually green complexion slowly turned red as the realization that the food he had brought was not as terrifying or sanity-destroying as he first thought settled in.

 

"...Dormammu helped me make them," he explained in a small voice.

 

"So you two cook those over his head or something?" asked a familiar voice from behind.  While Shuma Gorath's epic entrance had everyone distracted, Oceanus had appeared in the doorway.  He walked into the house, commenting, "Big bro asked me to come with him to play with you guys.  Figured it'd be fun, so I decided to check it out.  We've got food coming in soon, too!"

 

As Oceanus said this Zephyrus also came into the doorway, holding many bags of chips and nachos with both arms.  It was almost comical to see the combat-bot stumbling around like a common mall shopper.  "It’s no food of the damned, but never a bad time for nachos!" Oceanus declared, helping take some of the bags.  The two robots brought them into the living room, setting them down on a desk table before looking around.

 

"Been too long, eh guys?" Zephyrus asked, chuckling a little.  "Glad to see you all again.  How have you been?"  As he and Oceanus set down bags a rainbow of chips was visible.  From basic to sour cream and onion to barbecue to salt and vinegar, the two must have had at least one bag of every kind.  Crown jewel of them all, though, were the nachos, complete with little jars of salsa and cheese for dipping.

 

"Don't any of you double dip, you hear?" Oceanus asked, his voice lowering to a jokingly dangerous tone.  "And if you do . . . I'll find out."  Unable to keep up the facade of being threatening anymore, the bubble-bot bust into laughter.  Looked like the gang was all here.

 

“But double dippin’ is all I do!” cried Del, mock despair etched on his face.

 

“Judging by the sheer amount of food we have, you’re probably going to have to.” Amanda’s gaze flitted between the offerings of food, and her brow knitted as if she was trying to do a puzzle.

 

“Good thing I didn’ have any breakfast this mornin’ then.”

 

Del eyed Shuma’s offerings with a predator’s eye. Amanda shrugged and walked over to Erebus, standing on tip-toe to give him a peck on the cheek.

 

“Anyway, it’s been ages since we’ve seen you guys!” she said, turning to the others. “I’d fill you in on what I’ve been up to, but, you know, blog.”

 

“An’ international tv.”

 

Amanda groaned and buried her face in her hands.

 

“You’re gonna remind me about that until the day I die, aren’t you,” she said, voice muffled.

 

“Elephants never forget,” retorted Del, smirking. “An’ as for me, well, we’d be here all day if I went on’ bout what I’ve been doin’ in the interim. Been real busy these past few months.”

 

“Yeah, with your crazy rebellion. How did you even manage to START one?”

 

“Promises of wenches and mead.”

 

“…Seriously?”

 

Del’s face was impassive for about three seconds before he gave up and burst out laughing.