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Confessions of an Internet Exhibitionist

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  1. "Click Me" Confessions of an Internet Exhibitionist torrent
  2.  
  3. "Klick mich" Bekenntnisse eines Internet Exhibitionist
  4.  
  5.  
  6. Julia Schramm
  7. Click me
  8. Confessions of an Internet Exhibitionist
  9.  
  10. Knaus
  11.  
  12. For discussion's going here ➞ www.juliaschramm.de
  13.  
  14. First Edition
  15.  
  16. Copyright © 2012 the German edition
  17.  
  18. when Albrecht Knaus Verlag, Munich,
  19.  
  20. in the Random House Publishing Group Ltd.
  21.  
  22. Made up of the Sabon Uhl + Massopust, Aalen
  23.  
  24. ISBN 978-3-641-08192-8
  25.  
  26. www.knaus-verlag.de
  27.  
  28.  
  29.  
  30.  
  31.  
  32. For my parents
  33.  
  34.  
  35.  
  36.  
  37.  
  38. Foreword
  39.  
  40. My name is Julia and I live on the internet. I'm pretty happy, have friends that I know and can only digitally off whenever I want. We talk, laugh, fight, cry, hate, exchange thoughts and videos that blaspheme and fall in love. This world is part of our reality and yet has its own rules. She lies like a veil on our carbon world, and changed it's own character. For many, this artificial world of spirit behind the monitor. But for me it's true and real
  41.  
  42. Starting my life but beyond this exciting new world, because I grew up with the love of books, writing and very well looked after in a small German town. My path to the computer mid-1990s was a natural step. Thanks to a free dedicated line of my father, who at that time could be used only if no phone call, I realized the computer and the internet soon as the ideal place for my curiosity and my ideas, even if the load times myself (despite the privileged position remain after all my AOL CDs saves!) driven to madness at the beginning. For my first experience with the vastness of the Internet, I made in a time when they were not so far.
  43.  
  44. I am born in 1985, 1982, Time magazine had named the computer to the "Man of the Year." As a matter of course I took advantage of every platform for accumulation of information and knowledge - books, teletext, pager, newspapers, cereal packets and the World Wide Web. That my life would soon digitize as much as possible, I did not at that time. How could they? For years, I moved intuitively the Internet before I could understand somehow, how the Internet works. And therefore I am very much a digital native. A digital natives.
  45.  
  46. From an early age I spent my time with painting and writing programs in and out on the web, transformed my thoughts in pixels. Using these pixels, I call my filtered perception into the world. Without a megaphone without a direct recipient They inscribed forever the infinite dimensions of the Internet. Theoretically. I weave my sentences in this barely controllable wattle electrical impulses. Parts survive, stored, parts disappear. And I never know who reads my words or what ultimately happened to them. Whether it scares me that my thoughts may be perpetuated, even if they are often thoughtlessly, I wonder though, but it does not touch me. Thoughts out of my head belong to the world, for I verpixele. The programs have changed in the meantime. The not function. I'm a daily part of the network. I'm going digital. The operation is now more beautiful, yes, even easier, yet the Internet remains a place for me - my home. But this is under attack for some time, large corporations and politicians who are afraid of the rapid changes that need control. Even so I would tell about my life on the net, from my development there, open the door to my world. Provide an insight. I want to report a fight, which is motivated by the dream of a virtual Metropolis, but there is no in the oppressed, not exploited, but only free people. And when I use the dark side of digital freedom, give my attention, the abysses and fears, it is because they too are part of my home. Because this is like any other place, a puddle of human vanity and greed.
  47.  
  48. Like any other home, my home is inhabited by people. In my home, however, all people - they have free access to the Internet - to be simultaneously, here the knowledge and stories of all the people are united, collected and archived. The Great and the mundane, the sacred and the profane, the useful and the useless. A huge library which is an extension of my possibilities, gives an insight into the knowledge and thinking of our time, of all time.
  49.  
  50. As an element of this, my world, I'm constantly changing, constantly, changing copy in the world, and myself, the old versions and ever present in mind. This book is primarily about me, Julia wrote, but also of the various older versions of myself and my various roles. Even today I have the network set up different identities, which are expressed by various pseudonyms. They suit my life stages and document my development.
  51.  
  52. In my first rebellious phase at 13 I called myself chloe.ffw - chloe for a free world. Such was also my Beepworldseite that already then I filled with slogans against capitalism and for justice. My pseudonym was intended as a program, even if you could not recognize the. I even knew of my heroic intentions, sufficed. In the spirit of this pseudonym, I argued with my father, who pointed out to me that at my age was a communist times now and that would go away. Once at dinner we discussed the question of whether everyone would automatically take the bigger piece of meat. We cut our chips into unequal pieces and philosophizing about human nature. I ate a little contrite afterwards, cold piece of steak.
  53.  
  54. For a time, roughly from 19 to 24, I called myself jade - whether expressed in English or German, could choose any. Hard, cold and beautiful - a reversal that accompanied me on the net a couple of years, which I was also addressed offline completely for granted. Jade had the idealism turned his back and tried to commit themselves with the cynicism of political struggle for a world that is at least a bit by computer could be better organized. You can not change the world but you can look gorgeous while trying it.
  55.  
  56. Pseudonyms are for me something very personal and individual, are an expression of my identity and the person I would like to be. An anchor in the history of my personality and a point of reference. A creative pseudonym is also precise in identifying a world where the outward characteristics are irrelevant and mundane names are mass-produced. Since 2009, my name is not on the network or jade chloe.ffw or Julia, like all the girls in my class, but laprintemps especially inspired by the ballet "The Rite of Spring" by Stravinsky. Not only is the Rite of Spring has been a Disney "Fantasia" to my musical favorites, and I fell in love with the word "printemps". Happy, but intrinsically beautiful, but hard. Cumbersome, but clear. And how the piece a bit strange. So weird that I do not even always know right away. People often ask me if I knew then, that it is the spring, so le printemps. And I've taken up the French word deliberately and with him feminized la - the spring. I do not like the spring properly and my French is a little work? A side note. On the Internet I can create myself as I please. Existentialism live.
  57.  
  58. And so are the statements and positions, which I reproduce in this book, to my various identities and are illustrative of an evolving life. For this book is not only my story, but the story of a subject in the midst of the digital revolution. One consequence of this is that you can watch me and all those who give their thoughts on the net, thinking, taking, as I'll change of disputes and criticism of readings and images and sounds that change how my views. Therefore, we will not agree and sometimes irritate my thoughts are. Sometimes the reader will think that I disagree with. And that's what I do, because thinking means contradict, not be in agreement.
  59.  
  60. Sun me, the reader will see in the greatest harmony with myself. But this is important, because harmonious systems are stupid. Even so I think the analog world for not able to solve the world's problems to consistently democratic. In the analog world, the illusion must always be maintained, harmony prevails there, as if there were a formula, one truth - and not just an endless cacophony of opinions.
  61.  
  62. This story takes place in a non-place. There is no city or country where it is based and in line with the events is. The story is set in a place that is everywhere and nowhere, always and never attainable. Because it plays on the internet, a real become non-place, a place that looks like a fairy tale world behind small doors and I get by just clicking. And this place shapes the history and language of the story. He sets the pace.
  63.  
  64. The world from which I tell is so fragmentary as the text that tells of her. The language of this world is accelerating language of digitization. In real time, we write down our thoughts, share them with the world, Pixelate our thoughts and our soul. The decision on whether the events have sprung in this book to my life or my head left to the reader. Everything here is somehow happens, even if it did not happen. My truth about the past is in my memory. As with any of us. There they can do us no dispute or even take.
  65.  
  66. The Internet in the presentation in text and pictures, everything is possible, the boundaries, whether it is a true story or fiction are blurred for a long time. So my view is possible, but only a true story. Documentation is everything, even if it is fictional.
  67.  
  68. Originally, I live in a world in which I am a political scientist, pirate, daughter and wife, I meet in the other carbon-based entities, and perceive with my senses. But even that fades. What we have in the chat, which discussed on the park bench? It goes through as a party to sit in front of the screen to chat with friends and to drink wine? I feel safe and comfortable behind the screen, in this excerpt from a merged world of compressed compressed information, opinions, ideas and visions, like a cloud of mashed together. I flitting back and forth between the old world, participating with their great poets and thinkers, with epic opera and ballet pompous, and the new world in which I not only rezipiere but. Sometimes I watch my old movies on video portals, reveling in the hopes of 19th and the atrocities of the 20th Century. Imagine arguing with Rosa Luxembourg, Churchill to say the opinion and kiss Che Guevara. I think back in the German post-war period, and try to feel a world that I got served only processed. I live in the aftermath of postmodernism, in which Hitler is a para human monsters but a joke is. A time for the Joseph Beuys is not a provocation, and may be more. A life that knows only of conventions parodies. A life with and in the digital age. Welcome.
  69.  
  70.  
  71.  
  72.  
  73.  
  74. The characters
  75.  
  76. The author is the narrator and tells about her life and how she sees it. For this she has created characters and events - are fictitious - even if they relate to real people and events.
  77.  
  78. I -. An unreliable narrator, who reviewed everything and everyone, the stories are so again as it thinks fit, and anyway everything discolored with their perception She is 26 or 27 years old and lives in 2012.
  79.  
  80. chloe.ffw - pubescent version of the narrator. Is between 13 and 18, still goes to school, lives with her parents and experimenting with the Internet, boys and alcohol. Schiller has turned her head. Sozialromantikerin.
  81.  
  82. Arielle - Under offbeat personality of chloe.ffw
  83.  
  84. Jade - student version of the narrator. Is between 19 and 24 and just learning about the Internet as a political platform. She lives alone and has a relationship with anx. Hedonistic Internet activist.
  85.  
  86. laprintemps - Current version of the narrator. She is currently since 2009 and is committed to dealing appropriately with the world and its past. Optimistic skeptic.
  87.  
  88. Mortensen - The Internet activists. What does he do money is unclear. He is fighting for human rights and freedom of communication in many parts of the world and is an unwaveringly pessimistic idealist. For this he uses IRC and Twitter. Or not.
  89.  
  90. Leonard - The good friend with whom there is an unwanted romantic-erotic entanglement. He is a cognitive scientist. He knows Mortensen and Christian / anx, but do not like them much.
  91.  
  92. Sesame - The best friend since high school. The Datenschützerin. She works for an NGO, where she fights for civil rights on the Internet.
  93.  
  94. Maya - The girlfriend, who is not really. Your profession is not known. It is the beginning and the end, while the emotional boss. With Christian together.
  95.  
  96. Christian / anx - The best friend since high school, which was in between the lovers. He is now with Maya together. He made his money from programming and once tried to join Wikileaks. But only at the beginning.
  97.  
  98. Junto - The revolutionary digital in an unspecified Middle Eastern country. He is close friends with Mortensen and knows anx / Christian for some chat rooms.
  99.  
  100. Kurt - Misogynist Eight Ender womanizer friend Leonard. What does he do, does not matter, because he is annoying in the first place. His secret superpower: As long as the stomping ground until he gets his way.
  101.  
  102. Mr Big - The great love of the narrator, but over which it does not want to talk about. Or can.
  103.  
  104. Einfühlsam16 - Unknown and annoying chat contact from Arielle13.
  105.  
  106.  
  107.  
  108.  
  109.  
  110. In supporting roles
  111.  
  112.  
  113. Thusnelda - The artist - The parents and siblings - Adolf Hitler - the chat friend and his friend - the protection of young people from the Commission for Protection of Minors of the state media institutions - Generic media teacher with a penchant for political piracy - Stereo Typer representatives of a people's party - Ambitious young journalist - Any Facebook -girlfriend Guttenberg likes - Unknown One-night stand - not named by Nick Twitterer - squatters - slavering dogs - on a mattress sleeping man - Many Someone's and ominous Other - Jack the Ripper - victims of Jack the Ripper - The Prime Minister - The third party Auditor of Bible-believing Christians in the district association Saxon Switzerland / Erzgebirge.
  114.  
  115.  
  116.  
  117.  
  118.  
  119. My friend, the Monitor
  120.  
  121. tl, dr: My friends were not the girls and boys on the playground, in the neighborhood in the sports club. I was an outcast, a nerd and wanted it to be. Finally, I was living on the Internet, I found like-minded people behind the screen. Today we are outsiders elected into parliament. Unbelievable, but true.
  122.  
  123. Saturday night, January 2012. I find myself at a party the Nerdszene, which is so familiar to me. Printed t-shirts with sayings. Lots of black, heavy boots or sneakers, long hair and a couple of role players who wear their medieval costumes just today. The music is mostly electronic, sometimes someone has to make music there, sometimes classics are played on a C64. There are horns that make mead or Tschunk is drunk. And at least one person present has a beautifully decorated knife in his pocket. The pants are filled with adapters and multifunction tools. Someone asks for RCA cables. The sound is not perfect yet. It smells like grass.
  124.  
  125. anx stands before me. A young man in army clothes and long hair bound in a ponytail wild, which tells of how he is regularly searched by the police for no reason. He is tall, has long, wavy, deep brown hair. A full beard and black, kind eyes Behind the slightly protruding ears, he has little curls.
  126.  
  127. "Hacking is not an activity, it is an approach to life, an understanding of reality," he tells me again, "an impulse that tells you that it's better is that it works even if you are unfamiliar one have to go away. Speaking of which, I gotta go now. Was nice. cu. "
  128.  
  129. Ah, I know this kind of seduction. I'm annoyed that it still works. Somewhat offended, but also slightly sentimental, I look after him. He will come again.
  130.  
  131. Hack starts always with the people, I think, lay my head wrong and paint my nonexistent beard, because machines can not hack without people. anx 'words to me go on my mind when I sit down next to a group of other partygoers. Random socializing. The woman wears a black robe, with wide sleeves and a pointed hood. It is unflattering. A bit like a mutant elf. Her look is sharp, her skin pale, overcoming the acne has left its mark. The man has short light brown hair and a Harry Potter glasses. What they say about the digital natives? The revolt of the ugliness? No matter. They look young. Are they not, I'll find out later.
  132.  
  133. "Good evening!" Bold I let myself down next to the two on the sofa converted to bed. She looks at me slightly disgusted. With the over-knee boots for tight black dress - I would never trust me, unlike in Black to appear at a birthday party of Sesame -, the strong make-up and the flowing hair I look more like a celebration weekend Socialite, which in social is has lost shallows. And I will also be treated. Demonstratively the elf cuddles at the man, as if I were in my uncontrollable thirst for souls of men.
  134.  
  135. "I fear that you will not be interested in our talk, sweetie," she says smugly. And if I lick like to sockets.
  136.  
  137. I sigh softly. And do not say anything. Why justify? I do not look like a nerd, geek or freak, more like a thick to Victoria's Secret model.
  138.  
  139. "Sorry, it's always a bit rude with such beautiful women like you," now says the clone of the not-so-young Harry Potter, while Thusnelda and her friend pointedly turned away from us.
  140.  
  141. "Whoa. And now you feel called to tell me that? "
  142.  
  143. "What's so bitchy?" He leans casually pointed at me. "We're not together - she does her thing, I mine. I do not anyway to stable relationships. "
  144.  
  145. "You know that as well as everything, right?" I feel as monogamous heterogeneity in these circles always against someone. With a totally crazy fetish or a sexually transmitted disease
  146.  
  147. "Of course she knows that," His easy grin greasy face. "What's your name?" I do not answer. He tried to give me a hand. "I'm Leonard."
  148.  
  149. He was graduate student of Cognitive Science. From the strong need, the aunts obliterate one, I date with him and give him my contact demonstratively. All. Then I get up and walk with your head held out of the room. That was just the beginning.
  150.  
  151. I lean on the edge of the dance floor to the wall and light me a joint, wondering if it's unfair that I want to meet Leonard. Above all I'm waiting for anx returns. Mortensen, who accompanied me to the party is, next to me. He wants to pull the joint.
  152.  
  153. "Somehow I just need to remember how we got to know us, Mortensen."
  154.  
  155. Mortensen and I understand almost blind. He stares as often as I did on the screen in the hope that change its character typed something. Even if they are only available on a t-shirt. STFU!, It was me then jumped on a karaoke event of his T-shirt in the eye. Shut the fuck up Mortensen has a solid body, almost petite, with taut skin and slender limbs. The tendons are visible all over the body. As are the numerous tattoos. Its members tend to tremble with excitement, anger, but also from excessive demands. Or thirst. Then, driven by the beating of his life and thoughts in his head. His soft hair is green, sometimes juicy, sometimes delicate pastel. Still I try to discover beyond the durability of hair dye an algorithm, a color-mood correlation.
  156.  
  157. "Once again lonely, huh?" He asks me. "Why exactly? You seem always so happy drunk and kissed by the sun. How did you come to, yes ... an outsider? "
  158.  
  159. "I dunno. I do not know. I am neither been an overly gifted child nor an autistic genius. My socialization took place in completely bourgeois paths. In the townhouse, by peaceful and clean parents who like me and himself. With cute siblings ... But at some point suddenly nobody laughed at my jokes. Suddenly I was all declared insane. Suddenly I no longer belonged to. Not for my age group, to anyone or anything In this phase, without friends I retired, lost myself in thought as I sat in front of the TV or computer. I was busy with me, my body and my diary. Today I think it is actually normal. We're all still somehow outsiders. But some are farther out in front than others. And I was pretty far out long ago. "
  160.  
  161. Mortensen looks at me, half-knowing, half in pity, the pity is perhaps also his own His deep-set eyes, hazel framed by long lashes, always make me nervous.
  162.  
  163. Appear in puberty and Intelligentsein Beliebtsein ruled he says. And: "Actually, we would have gifted the game to dominate better recognition and status. We long but afterwards as well. "
  164.  
  165. I feel embarrassed, but also attacked in my laboriously assembled individuality. »Popular means to be complacent. I did not want, so I let it stay. At least mostly. Maybe. Mostly. Generally, to be popular a stressful activity. The world was somehow important to understand me. "With this sentence from my thoughts wander. I really wanted, so chloe.ffw, can write like Schiller and think how de Beauvoir. Or be able to talk like Herbert Wehner and brave as Kurt Schumacher. Or Olympe de Gouges. The head of chloe.ffw played to the "March of the Empire." Create great! Be intellectual! To the municipality of these homeless citizens of the world in the 20th Century are to be laughed at but then only by Mozart. I have to giggle at my young, I disturbed.
  166.  
  167. I tell them nothing Mortensen. I flashed him. He taps upset things in the keys. With whom he speaks well? Perhaps with Junto? Junto - his middle name is Mohammed - is an insurgent hackers in the Middle East. Mortensen likes to tell of him. Or not, depending on how you look at it. Junto is also an outsider. One of the virtual strings in the chat rooms in the world. They network and plan actions to overthrow governments to advance the freedom of the Internet and the people. They grew up in different cultures, and yet have the same values ​​and the same courage. Usually one knows her real name, because they want to be a hero. Even if they know what they are. Mortensen also know that it does not benefit much. Except that heroic aura makes it attractive.
  168.  
  169. "I always wanted to be different from everyone else," he says, "only to realize that I am as unique and intrinsically never how I want to be there."
  170.  
  171. We all fell for this lie of the eighties. Outsider status is a condition related to loneliness, for suffering, but also for ingenuity, creativity and science. For arts and culture. For War and Peace! If we do what we do if we did not have the drive to do great?
  172.  
  173. Sometimes the way to the outsider very trivial causes, despite great ambitions. For me it was allergies. "You know that I could not go vegan because I almost against all that is left there, am allergic? Besides bread, "I say.
  174.  
  175. "Vegans are also strange. Recently I argued with. I make people afraid to align their lives to a particular idea. "
  176.  
  177. "I really wanted to complain now about me and my allergies, if you permit," I stick my tongue out Mortensen.
  178.  
  179. "Yes, yes. It's not like that does not interest me, how did you get so mad! "
  180.  
  181. "Thank you. I was allergic to almost all living things befellten and grasses, pollen and food. Everyone had fun, but I had difficulty breathing and watery eyes. Well, at least showed me the hard way to the limits of human beings in nature. Nature was my enemy. "
  182.  
  183. "Nature is overrated anyway. These are my specialty suspect Treehugger! Within closed walls in front of a monitor, I feel most comfortable. "
  184.  
  185. "Yes. The most time I've actually spent in front of monitors. Books are not strictly even, monitors, very, very, very similar? And the only TV! No matter. Behind the actual monitor is the world that this isolation can be master. A world that allows me then and now, on every continent who live and feel as I do to find. People like you, Mortensen. "
  186.  
  187. Mortensen looks at me as if he would hide what I tell him straight. Undeterred, I speak on: 'Why you is recognized as a nerd or freak only when one looks like American pop culture requires it? The nerd wearing glasses and has big problems with his body and his coordination. His grades are better than average, unless he has a disease that makes it impossible for a normal school and let him live in a plastic bubble - like the boy in "Big Bang Theory" Sheldon gambles with the infinite.
  188.  
  189. And the other nerds who have bad grades and cram constantly pizza and cola in to catalyze their alleged aggression in first-person shooters. These stereotypes make me mad. "
  190.  
  191. Mortensen and I are in agreement, the picture presented by the pop culture nerd is a social idiot, if he did something says there Unwitziges or boring by itself -. Unintelligible or he rambles about warp drives and 26 dimensions We actually only too happy to talk about it.
  192.  
  193. I let my back again slam against the wall, Mortensen hands me the joint. He is silent. Perhaps he also observed the guy on the dance floor. Maybe they are doing exciting things in his imagination. I do not know. The grass is burning in my lungs.
  194.  
  195. For a misanthrope like me was the realization that the world is controlled behind the monitor and looks at a less lopsided, a blessing. Texts give me the illusion that they express and do what I want. The screen has become my confidant, for fixed constant, my friend. Is the very creepy? Viewed from the outside, I always seemed fairly well integrated into the social fabric of my surroundings. But inside I always felt an infinite distance - to everyone and everything. This world is behind the monitor, which you can make free, the death sentence for not, but what you have to say, good houses and distributed, not so much nicer? So much true? This world takes you as close as you are. They do not force you to be you. You forget yourself for the prison you were born.
  196.  
  197. Mortensen smiles. He leaves me and now goes to the dancer. I am looking for a quiet corner. My head explodes. I pull out my little black notebook and write in too large letters:
  198.  
  199. The mysteries and adventures behind the black screen was not quite for me the hidden key to knowing the emergency exit from a world in which I live, but could not breathe. I prefer staring at phosphorus, glass and liquid crystals, which passed with my horizon of eternity. I grew up in good middle-class family, in a row house on the outskirts of a big city. His mother a housewife who gave me the "Steppenwolf" and read Simone de Beauvoir. The father is an engineer and so rational marked that the movie "Titanic" did not touch his soul, but only the mind that made him or her that there was no point, as the ship breaking apart since. Siblings who are nicer and sportier, taking into circles of friends center roles - in short - are popular. Or be adored. My sister was already taken with eleven of our neighbors to target. Of the neighbors, in the times I was unlucky in love. Of course. All the resentment which she learned from women, was only an expression of envy for their effect on men. She was hated for her headless dealing with these. Also, I was always jealous, but she was so much more popular than me and the boys. The boys, in which I have been in love wanted, my sister who has a careless beauty. Just like Audrey Hepburn. Only with more glitter. A muse for the courageous men. For men like my brother. He, too, the potential sexual partners were always at your feet. Often I put calls through by girls with soft voices and confused debate. Boring girl. Nice but boring. Maybe even a bit silly. So beautiful and stupid. I developed the formula that any woman who was more beautiful than I, must be somehow stupid or uneducated. I dyed my diary in tirades of self-pity. Every cell in my body, I learned to condemn, as I read in glossy leaflets about how it was famous women who were so much thinner than I am. Thinner and dumber.
  200.  
  201. When I wake up, the lights go on in the room. Sesame is looking at me, laughing. "What's the matter with you? When did you moved to this area? Have you noticed how Maya has rumgebrüllt? One scene has taken off. "She squeals with joy. "I know why I always invite the. I like them not, but it goes beyond parties always so terribly productive! "
  202.  
  203. More her the subject is not worth it. It is more the conversation with me, not worth it. She helps me up and looks at me quizzically.
  204.  
  205. "Oh, I went down. Do you know yet. But is not the first time, "My constant exhausting confrontation with Maya Sesame must have forgotten. Well, I missed it. I look around. The air is dirty, as my hair. My skin is stretched and rough, my eyes are glued together easily. Except Sesame and me are two completely drunk guys out dancing in the middle of the room to the music in her head. Whether they probably hear the same thing, I wonder. My mobile device tells me that Mortensen is not alone went home. I also see a message from Leonard: "Where are you" The good start?. And anx has can not but look. I think. I once again missed the whole party. Like me that I long for my computer to edit the outpourings of the previous night. At home, I type in 45 characters: outsider at parties by outsiders: I.
  206.  
  207.  
  208.  
  209.  
  210.  
  211. My diary can read all
  212.  
  213. tl, dr: thoughts are just secret as long as they are in your head. You know the latest, if your mother has read in your journal. On the web you will always be observed. And what's on the Internet can theoretically see seven billion people. Even if it is your soul. Therefore: Be on the Internet anything that you prefer and then tear down the toilet would flush.
  214.  
  215. 25th May 1998. chloe.ffw writes in her diary: "My life is a disaster. I hate me, everything, all. But mostly I hate my mother. Their curiosity, their questions, their whole article Every day she gets on my nerves. I hate them. Hate it. Hate it. I want to go to boarding school!!! "
  216.  
  217. Page long it goes on. At that time her diary entries were still analog. Hand and Kinder-stitching, no lock. Once her mother read it, tried a glimpse into the soul of the early teenage daughter throw.
  218.  
  219. Even then the presumption in chloe.ffw began to mature, that secret secret thoughts in her head, that they are secret only so long as they are not written down. A short time later tapped chloe.ffw the first soul in pain and tried the keys in forums such http://www.kummer-sorgen-forum.de people who were lost like it.
  220.  
  221. Hardly anyone had discovered this biotope of free thought, nor could their heartbreak safely and anonymously scream into the digital world. When she was in love, she hid her desire to some internet sites that should find no one who knows them. The unattainable love, not wanting to expose her to ridicule or not. And yet, they had to win the hope that readers who are affected by her words that could award her courage because she just felt. And that happened regularly.
  222.  
  223. What foreigners think when they can take a look at my soul, without knowing me and my context? Secret thoughts are in your head secret. Or unknown websites.
  224.  
  225. Over time, the Internet has created a virtual diary. By far not all entries are comprehensible, only I know where I can find them. I revel in the emotional states of my past and my Scour digitized inside. I click my way through the old me, I am terrified at the fact that my today I thought this is so far away and yet so close. Should I publish all the entries on my current blog? I jades effusions from 2007 are embarrassing?
  226.  
  227. So it goes further! I have to do. anx me is not much help. He knows as well as I do that we are wasting our lives. We live the life of a digital bohemian with money from the parents or from time to time even a job. We live free and always below our means. Without external coercion. We take drugs and party through the night. We sleep during the day and are proud that we verprokrastinieren our lives. We shy away from responsibility. And why not? It is yes. I often feel reminiscent of wealthy children another time squandered the wealth of the parents, in casinos, in opium dens. So are we. But we are much more. We are no longer the poor children of wealthy parents. We are the majority.
  228.  
  229. In a world where everything is relative, there is only the response of others. And no matter how negative. Only it is still palpable when nothing is determined. The reactions to their own confessions, the abysmal, the nasty, the insulting reminded jade because she lives. They are the openings in the haze of arbitrariness. jade is somewhere between attention addiction, confirming that she is not crazy, and the belief in the largest self-Lie: The more I of my award-giving, the more I understand the people, I understand myself, the own concerns in the digital world writing can be very beneficial. Share worried not less, but still significantly more bearable. For all the writing is always in relation to others who understand and absorb.
  230.  
  231. I know that everything has already been written. But it's still true. The longing for structures that provide orientation - they followed us. And a monitor is more structure than the reality.
  232.  
  233. I wonder whether this form of therapy blog is really necessary if you do not enqueues into a consternation culture that delights only in the self and the individual suffering occurring, to forget the past in the unbeautiful. Both offline jade was the fear a burden to people, depend on to talk about what they really haunted.
  234.  
  235. Not to talk about what one really touched, causes disease, and in the global information network breaks out of this illness. Mercilessly. So are the platforms, networking people, so popular. They are a gathering point for the prowler, the soul searches for Mehrsamkeit.
  236.  
  237. Can you publish it? Is the self-observation rather not forced to? There is only black and white in the merciless glare of the public Internet, no matter how insignificant. Each step is analyzed. Every thought, every statement suddenly decides whether the Rubicon has been crossed. You always feel the outrage. The result is an intense, maybe too intense introspection. It is easy to object to his own psyche - and a slave to the idea of ​​how you want to be seen by others.
  238.  
  239. In moments of reflection Maya comes into play. We are friends. Actually. Because we are also competitors. Not to men, but about individuality. Men have only intensified. The trigger for the first real fight was trivial, but crucial, because Mayans kind to put up the cost of others in the scene, is a problem. Periodically, she uses indiscretions to belittle me in front of a group of people. She then sells it as a joke. If I look back on it today, I would like to laugh. It is always there, even if I do not want it. She is just a click away. When she met with Christian, I stared several times a day on their profile, followed their traces they left on other profiles, searching for patterns, according to the findings. And then when we met, I did clueless. We are friends.
  240.  
  241. They followed me into the digital sphere as I pursue. Why? Because it is. Maya responds, for example, for me, by putting in one of their digital profiles on Twitter or anywhere else makes a suggestion. The other must always have in mind that it is observed. Sometimes she adds, for example, as their favorite movies exactly the ones that I had reviewed a few days earlier than the worst movies of all time. Sometimes she adds a movie I watch it, again to elaborate on in 140 characters why that movie was a disaster. She reads all messages from laprintemps, and a bit writes laprintemps this news for Maya. And laprintemps believes that Maya is doing the same. The digital profiles are the showcase of the self, in which even the pale identity can be tuned to the ICH2. Sometimes Maya is doing talking like they do not know what laprintemps has posted the day before. And vice versa.
  242.  
  243. Digital communications quickly stokes expectations that can not be fulfilled. Since only one of us needs neglected again in the natural latency of the Internet communication feel. (Nevertheless, such an escalation runs in the disembodied world differently, because the resentment is filtered. How many times have I cried on the phone, without the others noticed?) Not infrequently, the communication is on the rebound, in the indirect. Does she now me? Does she speak to me? Will they? Oh, it certainly does not mean me. But who else? Unkonkrete malice and incitement harm those who feel attracted. Even if they are not meant. As a background flicker that flares up again and again, but is not related, it's paranoid. And still. Finally, lonely, who refers everything to himself.
  244.  
  245. Unaddressed humiliation can strike at any time, lift the day off its hinges and empty the self completely. This vague fear of being confronted daily with attacks does so brittle as a constant attempt to detect the fault lines that are hidden in the indeterminates. Between legitimate criticism and conspiracy hiding everyday anger, frustration and envy. And some of them screaming into the abyss of space. Although the person who is addressed, is next to them.
  246.  
  247. - How are you? (My Instant Messenger flashes and rips me from my thoughts. Mortensen.)
  248.  
  249. - Bad :)
  250.  
  251. - What's going on?
  252.  
  253. - (Yes, I wonder too.) Power but no sense at all.
  254.  
  255. - I'd like to say yes now that everything will be fine and so on. But to you, did everything bounces.
  256.  
  257. - Anyway. I like a bell jar, which screens all feelings. Simply overwhelmed. Every day breaks the world over me. Every day I despair of the possibilities and the work that no one does. Neither do I! I am useless. What am I doing? I conserve, documenting. No longer. I see this world slide next to me in the abyss and can not do anything.
  258.  
  259. - Anx has declared itself?
  260.  
  261. - Yes, it was to be expected. Oh, I do not anyway. Damn. No matter. Nothing matters. I get away.
  262.  
  263. I go offline, without waiting for a response from Mortensen. I open my word processor and start typing:
  264.  
  265. This world overwhelmed me. With their tendency to all things beautiful with strange truths or what we understand as such, to break anything. Everything always has a bad origin or face dire consequences, either it has played into the hands of the Nazis or the Communists, has spawned a mass murderer or trivialized. Everything is wrong, everything is rotten, everything is relative. Nothing edible for consumption implies ignorance. But ignorance is a crime in our time. If we are not aware of the circumstances under which the products are manufactured, we consume? If she will not be aware of? It's all written! Everything. And it's all available in compressed data. We are overtaken by an accelerated knowledge that we may at any time abverlangen justification. It's finally here.
  266.  
  267. How often have I wished I may be ignorant, stupid or even mute. A kind of mock-up in a world that I understand more than I would like. Undetected, ignorant, innocent.
  268.  
  269. Of course there is progress, even social. With my family history, I would have been 150 years ago, a dairy farmer. Rather, the wife of a dairy farmer. I had a lot of children born or had been violated, if only I had girls on the world can bring or want. Or would have landed right in the monastery. At other times in the gulag. And today? I write and world drowning in pain. As dairy farmer's wife, I would have been happier determined. Which is also an illusion. My husband would have been smelly and sweaty from the barn, I would have always have to be available and generally were my feelings was irrelevant. Are not they still?
  270.  
  271. My headaches have become stronger as you type, the idea defended themselves, leaving my head. People react to my confession, I know. They love Boulevard, drugs and abysses. Why I want to provide them with that? Can I do this at all? Should not I better book a place in the ivory tower? The public should not leave me cold? Impossible. Although hurt me the ridicule and scorn, the attacks on my person, but I live by the conflict with the other, which is characterized by indirect confrontation. Every sentence, every adjective can act quick-witted and clever, no one knows if hours have been discussed above. I'm looking out for each profile only an imaginary person who is in my head and I can assume arbitrary behavior. Our interaction becomes egocentric and more intense, because I do not communicate with people - I communicate with a monitor. And this monitor is so heartless, as I want to tip my soul into the digital sphere.
  272.  
  273. How Jack the Ripper's life taught me
  274.  
  275. tl, dr: Because I grew up in a perfect world, I got to know not evil. So I searched the internet for it. That leaves a sleep maybe not, but chainsaw murderer is not so. Therefore, the debates minors nonsense.
  276.  
  277. In 1995 I had a conversation with my mother, that changed my life forever. It was about truth, mass killings and Hitler. Usual topics for elementary school children that is. I spent my time like that time with friends, an artist couple. I loved the colors and the brush and found it exciting to observe the emergence of a picture. One evening, I told her what I had picked up in the afternoon: the artist Adolf Hitler and his little pictures.
  278.  
  279. "You know the, right?" I asked my mother probably slightly puzzled. When I got with full seriousness explained that the Jews are themselves to blame, that Hitler had tried to exterminate them, they turned pale. The justification that the Jews had finally rejected him at the School of Art, worked plausible only for my 9-year-old I am ignorant. And want to plant for the artist, who had told me that story to mind. The following handling ban was only logical and not as my pesky why questions ceased, my mother told me about the Holocaust, World War II and what the Nazis had done it. I barely remember it even if I was concerned whether I was ashamed or internally disagreed. At any rate, this week the launch of an unbridled interest in Nazism and the Holocaust. I read from attics, pink rabbit and mass graves. Of gas chambers and tanks. I talked to my grandmother who told me about food stamps and bomb noise of her dead family. We never talked about what I was to learn until years later when I saw a photo of my grandfather in uniform. With a swastika on the armband
  280.  
  281. Initially ranged talks and books to quench my thirst for knowledge, but at some point - still long before this chapter of German history in the classroom appeared - I began to ask all the questions first and foremost to the Internet. I surfed in the slow evolving spheres of WWW and came across not only the Nazis, who had meanwhile blossomed in my head for "epitome of evil." I found sites that dealt exclusively with mass murderers, and wondered: Who were these people? What had they done? And who were their victims? How they became the way they were? How can they just kill people? Why?
  282.  
  283. Clicking chloe.ffw was the head of Jack the Ripper. They walked at night with him through the dark alleys of seedy London's Whitechapel, looking for young prostitutes. For years, the image of a darting black cloak was represented again and again in her nightmares. Also the lives of street prostitutes after she felt herself in the filthy establishment tried to earn a living. How they had to do with old, disgusting things men who wanted to do them.
  284.  
  285. Her disgust towards these men, even against Jack the Ripper, who was one of them even went to with her often to physical reactions to fear of night or fear of men. Her own body was too weird for her. Night after night she lay awake, trying to understand how a world might have looked like, in which a girl was allowed as they do not make their own decisions. The fascination for Whitechapel and the associated depths they did not go off. But why Whitechapel? What was that for a society? So she clicked on through the historic Black Book of Western modernity, soaking up information without understanding the context, without having to remember to.
  286.  
  287. She stuffed her information in his head, which got stuck times, times were spat undigested. They came across France and its colonial past. Their anger, their fear of exploitation, war and injustice grew with each additional click and look at a story that they had to appropriate it, she wanted to live in ignorance without her, she wanted to live in a free world.
  288.  
  289. The England of the 19th Century knew of paintings, photographs, however, she soon followed the wars of the 20th Century. Again and again she looked dead human bodies, emaciated, bruised and full of despair in the expression. The suffering she was struck and nurtured their sense of justice. Who were the people who were guilty of this suffering? She felt for CVs of offenders, examined their socialization, their experiences, their beliefs. Why, it throbbed incessantly in her head. Why?
  290.  
  291. chloe.ffws curiosity drove them deeper into the virtual abyss, because she learned: It's all on the Internet. It's there, you just have to look. And see. The Internet and answered questions at the same time new. It inspires discoveries. Every day, she sat down at the computer in the basement, a connection to the Internet clicked, opened the browser and typed concepts and issues in the search engine that you could think of. And got answers. This connection was all that she needed. Enable click to connect, type things. And experience an exciting world. Thank you, dear Internet!
  292.  
  293. Fifteen years later, I go to a panel discussion on the protection of minors on the Internet. As a spectator. Mortensen sits on the podium.
  294.  
  295. Hastily, I share with my digital swarm:
  296.  
  297. The Commission for Protection of Minors of the State Media Authorities (KJM) has loaded. We'll see when I go to sleep.
  298.  
  299. The protection of young people is a sprightly gentleman with gray hair and a firm voice. Child safety is usually the code word that anyone wants to restrict freedom on the information superhighway. He seems to be a representative of the KJM. Or so. I'm not listening properly. These panelists are in my head. All members of the CDU / CSU
  300.  
  301. Next to him sits Mortensen, he wants to protect us from the youth advocates, he makes it clear with the matching t-shirt label. (No power to youth advocates!) It moderates the only woman on the podium, a technology journalist and magazine Spiegel Online. Concubine journalist sit a media educator and a representative of the Social Democrats, who always advertise for understanding the radical network community - be it politics times more complicated than simply saying no. The audience, with me as a preventive bored participants, waiting spellbound, whether in the exchange of arguments can promote new insights.
  302.  
  303. (Spoiler: In the end all want media literacy.)
  304.  
  305. "It is scarcely possible, in contrast to the grocery store or the video store to enforce a solid age verification on the Internet. So it's already small children can get to know pornography and political outlier positions, in an age where this is only harmful. Young people have a constitutional right to undisturbed personality development, "The protection of young people starts off well.
  306.  
  307. I roll my eyes and type in my mobile device to my followers: protection of young people want to protect young people against capitalism criticism on the Internet. Or so. Kjm # # dialog
  308.  
  309. Again filtering software and network locks are required.
  310.  
  311. Mortensen replied: "To closures handle effectively, the Internet would have to be restructured holistically and in particular its basic structure, namely the decentralized network of computers to be abandoned. Maybe you're getting it so now finally, after all these discussions: The decentralized structure prevents your idea of ​​protection of minors. Either you do it like in China, where tens of thousands scour the net and eliminate click, click, click unpleasant content, or we'll think about something else. "
  312.  
  313. The protection of young people answered dryly that he had a restrictive approach is better than none at all.
  314.  
  315. As the debate moves at this level, I will send a few minutes later in the World Network: protection of young people holds dictatorship for less harmful than pornography. # Kjm
  316.  
  317. The presenter will now forward the last part:
  318.  
  319. - ... There will now be a matter of what are ultimately harmful content for young people. What exactly affects their development?
  320.  
  321. - Mortensen: The logic is clear. People who choose not to should also look no porn!
  322.  
  323. Laughter in the hall.
  324.  
  325. - The media educator: Endanger the content - this is a wrong turn. The point is that all elements of our society are more easily accessible in the network. This also applies to the problem: violence and its glorification, excessive sexuality, inhuman statements. However, these contents do not disappear in that we install a lock or impede access. Especially not outside the network. I spoke already of blind activism. The key point is that we need to accompany children while exploring the network. Instead of a government filter alleged coercion and self-control we need a comprehensive care for children and the possibility that they may work up to traumatic confrontations. If you have questions or want to share, we must give them the opportunity to do so with confidence. We need to allow external impulses. Our task then is to catch them and process the experience with them. The changing conditions for the protection of minors must be analyzed socially. At the same time viable alternatives are developed.
  326.  
  327. - The protection of young people: media education is no minors! Parental means ...
  328.  
  329. - Mortensen: ... that old men decide about what could harm young people. Young people can walk with 16 in jail, but are too stupid to see Nazis? Should we require our children and young people what they want to hear and read? Best yet, think of what they do? I wonder, too, of what content are we talking about? That children or people in general should not see any videos in which people are being slaughtered, will change me, but: Where begins the protection and how old should children be? You really can not compare with 17-year-old 8-year-olds.
  330.  
  331. Mortensen is now seriously because of his tutelage triggers allergic reactions verbal. The protection of young people obtained again from the blow, but it is overtaken by the politician who expresses extravagant to the primacy of politics to the concerns of parents and the danger of the network. Actually, he only repeats what we have already heard. I listen to anymore and prefer to read what my friends post on social networking sites Sun But suddenly, the discussion changed my focus.
  332.  
  333. - The Chair: The fundamental problem that Germany's national laws can not apply to the international medium of the Internet is, without ...
  334.  
  335. - The media educator: Above all, we must not make the mistake to believe that the Internet is equal to regulate broadcasting. Particularly representative of my generation grew up with monodirectional media forget that in the digital age is for each transmitter and receiver. The control channel is thus a close control of the population.
  336.  
  337. Hach, I think to myself, I like the old, gray-haired media educators. The presenter interpreted the silence as late, omitted redundant summary and instead opened up for questions, which is just as redundant as the whole discussion. I take this opportunity and leave the room. I feel confirmed in my dislike of panel discussions. Next week, I'll do it better.
  338.  
  339.  
  340.  
  341.  
  342.  
  343. Learn to flirt with pedophiles in Teenchat
  344.  
  345. tl, dr: The fact that I was deflowered first digitally made, flirting and falling in love in analog life not necessarily easier.
  346.  
  347. With 13 or 14 chloe.ffw discovered the anonymous chat. It drove them, often together with their friends in chat rooms as "enchanted forest" and "TeenSpiriT" which sounded less offensive than they were. She was always aware that they are vigilant in the spheres of the chat had to be and could not believe it, especially what you told any identities. She often talked with Tobi17 who wanted to deflower her, or Alex15 who wanted to go with her to a private room. Sometimes they went to and read from the wild fantasies probably grown men or boys hochpubertierender. Or women?
  348.  
  349. How they wanted to shave the vagina or suck on her toes, touching her breasts and spank her butt, she wanted to get to scream and drop. She chuckled to himself and laughed heartily with her friends in front of the computer. Sometimes she was also embarrassed or even excited, but the fact that she could always pull the plug if they wanted, gave her security and control. Your real name or her address she gave to never, instead she was very creative when it came to inventing identities. The changing selves were characterized not only by characteristics such as name, contact details, date and place, and physical features, but also described experiences, beliefs and life circumstances.
  350.  
  351. Time she slipped into the role of indigent laborers child whose parents had separated because Fernfahrerpapi betrayed by Nail Salon with Mom bowling club friend. Or she lived abroad and was the lone child of a Saudi sheik to learn a sprawling farm with gold fixtures and had German as her father was ardent supporter of Hitler. Or she was a naive girl horses in search of the online edition of Wendy. Sometimes they saw himself as a Communist provocateur or simply disagreed with each statement, regardless of their content. She learned, a troll, a destructive Internet users to be.
  352.  
  353. Once she met with an out of this Internet. He was indeed at her age and they arranged to meet in the company of friends at a carnival. It sparked confusingly between chloe.ffw and the buddy of the guy, they then subsequently abservierte but via SMS and the following attempts to contact ignored. Shutdown is always easier.
  354.  
  355. 1998, is located at chloe.ffw http://www.chatcity.de and typing their greeting aimlessly into the room.
  356.  
  357. [18:44:21] Arielle13: Hello?
  358.  
  359. [18:44:46] Einfühlsam16: Oh, hello Arielle13. Was waiting for you
  360.  
  361. [18:46:23] Arielle13?
  362.  
  363. [18:48:09] Einfühlsam16: I know what you're doing tomorrow
  364.  
  365. [18:48:27] Arielle13: I do not
  366.  
  367. But I: [18:48:36] Einfühlsam16
  368.  
  369. [18:48:43] Arielle13?
  370.  
  371. [18:49:14] Einfühlsam16: na you lie with me on stran of Maldives and let you spoil me
  372.  
  373. [18:49:17] Einfühlsam16: + d
  374.  
  375. [18:49:29] Arielle13: as if m)
  376.  
  377. [18:49:42] Einfühlsam16 xD
  378.  
  379. [18:50:56] Arielle13: what's wrong with you? wtf?
  380.  
  381. [18:51:49] Einfühlsam16: I currently write with ner great woman
  382.  
  383. [18:52:11] Arielle13: achso. I'm shit and ugly.
  384.  
  385. [18:53:03] Einfühlsam16: I also fits but
  386.  
  387. [18:53:10] Arielle13 :: D
  388.  
  389. [18:54:33] Einfühlsam16: oh yes before I forget
  390.  
  391. [18:54:44] Einfühlsam16: Kevin is the name of your future
  392.  
  393. [18:55:08] Arielle13: thank you for this divination!
  394.  
  395. [19:03:44] Arielle13: and, biste a real man or woman ne?
  396.  
  397. [19:04:05] Einfühlsam16: I guess I'm waiting yes male look times
  398.  
  399. [19:04:10] Einfühlsam16: definitely yes man
  400.  
  401. [19:05:58] Arielle13: and what to do denkste you really going to write off people and promises them to predict the future and Maldives
  402.  
  403. [19:06:11] Arielle13: to write
  404.  
  405. [19:06:12] Arielle13 :: D
  406.  
  407. [19:07:23] Einfühlsam16: na I think I like that I want to fly with you to Maldives ^ ^
  408.  
  409. [19:07:45] Arielle13: do you pay?
  410.  
  411. [19:08:13] Einfühlsam16: yes na logical
  412.  
  413. [19:08:17] Einfühlsam16: all inclusive
  414.  
  415. [19:08:36] Arielle13: yes, but I too fat for a bikini
  416.  
  417. [19:08:56] Einfühlsam16: yes we well get you NEN matching xxl specify ok
  418.  
  419. [19:09:06] Arielle13: that's sweet.
  420.  
  421. [19:09:17] Einfühlsam16: well that I'm just baby
  422.  
  423. [19:09:40] Einfühlsam16: also the fat is in the eye of the beholder ^ ^
  424.  
  425. [19:09:55] Arielle13: ne.
  426.  
  427. [19:10:33] Einfühlsam16: but honestly you're nich thick stimmts
  428.  
  429. [19:10:51] Arielle13: nope. Can that have facial hair.
  430.  
  431. [19:11:18] Einfühlsam16: this is a cool ... I'm all for women with behaarung: D
  432.  
  433. [19:11:23] Arielle13: yeah cool!
  434.  
  435. [19:11:42] Einfühlsam16: haste and hair under the arms?
  436.  
  437. [19:11:52] Arielle13: I braid my pure braids
  438.  
  439. [19:12:10] Einfühlsam16: awesome I love long hair axel
  440.  
  441. [19:12:13] Einfühlsam16: + g
  442.  
  443. [19:13:05] Einfühlsam16: nee honest now
  444.  
  445. [19:13:12] Arielle13: ok, now let's face
  446.  
  447. [19:13:47] Einfühlsam16:'ve determined a beautiful face
  448.  
  449. [19:14:12] Arielle13: ok, let's be honest. I'm pretty ne.
  450.  
  451. [19:14:31] Einfühlsam16: yes I am well auchn really pretty
  452.  
  453. [19:14:42] Arielle13: yes that makes me happy. and now?
  454.  
  455. [19:15:04] Einfühlsam16: now you tell me when I should abholn you to airport
  456.  
  457. [19:15:18] Arielle13: Where do you live?
  458.  
  459. [19:16:34] Einfühlsam16: Schleswig-Holstein
  460.  
  461. [19:16:41] Arielle13: well. ne pitch. I live elsewhere.
  462.  
  463. [19:16:57] Einfühlsam16: yes but my airman goes to Maldives tomorrow
  464.  
  465. [19:17:20] Arielle13: so cool have fun
  466.  
  467. [19:17:27] Einfühlsam16: have there ne small villa
  468.  
  469. [19:17:55] Arielle13: yes nice. and you are looking at TeenChat nice people there that you can rape?
  470.  
  471. [19:18:05] Einfühlsam16: exactly
  472.  
  473. [19:18:16] Einfühlsam16: did you see through me crap
  474.  
  475. [19:18:36] Arielle13: haste and happiness that had already times ne woman has come to the airport?
  476.  
  477. [19:18:40] Einfühlsam16: you can do it voluntarily with me lol drive
  478.  
  479. [19:19:43] Einfühlsam16: mister universe does not need luck: D
  480.  
  481. [19:20:17] Arielle13: I am now totally in love with you.
  482.  
  483. [19:20:43] Einfühlsam16: that makes me happy but
  484.  
  485. [19:20:56] Arielle13: now you got me really rumgekriegt with your art
  486.  
  487. [19:21:09] Einfühlsam16: this is nice ... am just spontaneously
  488.  
  489. [19:21:22] Arielle13: yes I note ;)
  490.  
  491. [19:21:40] Einfühlsam16: aircraft and in the belly?
  492.  
  493. [19:22:16] Arielle13: yes butterflies I always say it. I immediately called my best friend and told her about you. The time now is quite jealous that I got my first boyfriend!
  494.  
  495. [19:22:42] Einfühlsam16: I am your first even ... what a boar glückspilz I'm just
  496.  
  497. [19:23:11] Einfühlsam16: I'll take you into the infinite passion of the wide
  498.  
  499. [19:23:30] Arielle13: yes ... but please be careful, I'm still very inexperienced
  500.  
  501. [19:24:18] Einfühlsam16: of course I'll take it and you gently into the world of bees and kidnap blümchen
  502.  
  503. [19:24:27] Arielle13: great!
  504.  
  505. [19:24:45] Einfühlsam16: yes and kept ever holding hands?
  506.  
  507. [19:25:16] Arielle13: so clear and sometimes even just kissed with tongue! but was ba!
  508.  
  509. [19:25:28] Einfühlsam16: ehhh with nasty tongue is yes
  510.  
  511. [19:25:36] Arielle13: ne.
  512.  
  513. [19:26:17] Einfühlsam16: can we give ... eat together, holding hands in the ice park and us half the day long cheeks küsschen
  514.  
  515. [19:26:46] Arielle13: you are my dream man! but first we have to get married! I happen strictly Christian!
  516.  
  517. [19:27:27] Einfühlsam16: nee nich to marry ... because you are so share my possessions
  518.  
  519. [19:27:47] Arielle13: So what? among friends we share everything: (
  520.  
  521. [19:28:44] Einfühlsam16: we are not friends but beloved
  522.  
  523. [19:31:09] Arielle13: oh you're kidding but only: (
  524.  
  525. [19:32:39] Einfühlsam16: oh shucks as it kommsten
  526.  
  527. [19:34:03] Arielle13: yes tomorrow I stand at the airport and you're not there: (
  528.  
  529. [19:34:34] Einfühlsam16: I'll have to pick you up
  530.  
  531. [19:35:41] Arielle13: yes, but then I take with my mom, because otherwise I would not go if the do not know who I'm going away.
  532.  
  533. [19:41:45] Einfühlsam16: they take care of the main thing we are sleeping in a room we both
  534.  
  535. [19:42:40] Arielle13: ok, you're really cute.
  536.  
  537. [19:55:27] Arielle13: haste now withdrawn your offer?
  538.  
  539. Rather superficial and inconsistent chloe.ffw complained at the time that the chats are full of people who are only out to sexual conversations. But they used the new media for self-test during puberty. How far can you go? What excites? What men expect? Women are perhaps exciting? She spent the days before computers, are getting caught in the worry of how they lived out their newly discovered sexuality. Real people made her fear, however.
  540.  
  541. All this was probably ultimately the background for an email that I wrote yesterday to a man before I had concealed my chat history like:
  542.  
  543. Hi,
  544.  
  545. this mail may appear unusual to you, but I ... I know that we do not know virtually. However, I would say that I like you, really. I know it seems like I wanted to avoid you. While the opposite is the case. But I'm scared to fall into old patterns.
  546.  
  547. My experience is based on a digitized by psyche which rejects a normal conversation between two people who have a romantic interest in each other. I've actually never been in the face of the opponent and sober flirting with someone that I was interested. Also, I work in my head much more relaxed and quick-witted as I can be in the presence of an interesting person.
  548.  
  549. I give to the virtual characters, burned into my identity, guilt. The characters from movies, from books, from computer games and magazines. Characters with whom I grew up, which even are perfect in the negligence. The look and smile always right, even fill the embarrassing things so charming with life. Ever embarrassing. Everything is always embarrassing. If you give me too long to look into the eyes or smile at me, me, that's embarrassing. If you give me a rose schenkst me this is embarrassing. This letter is embarrassing.
  550.  
  551. I always try to irony, because only protects against the embarrassment of seriousness. And I long for seriousness. Nevertheless, I make fun of me when you're trying to flirt with me, and enjoy it at the same time. In the chats, where I started the first flirting, there were no eyes, looked at me the way you do that. I've been using identities that I've never met, spoken intimate than I had been with you!
  552.  
  553. This here is almost be a love letter, even if a bunch of neurotic and trivial Faselmorast covers the. My self-image corresponds to the moment of a woman from a really bad episode "Sex and the City." I want to talk too fast, because the - I think - do attractive women. I want it hard to breathe, so you can put me to point out and arbitrarily with hands waving in my face. I want to somehow have a strange and yet at the critical moment wisely. Probably you will find that exciting, because you are a victim metamoderner motion pictures as well.
  554.  
  555. That my mouth is sealed but in the decisive moments, is the price that I am not really willing to pay. Louder missed opportunities in hindsight. And it feels as if it would only happen to me. Chatting on the other hand one can make such a perfect statement. Or mail. So as I said, what I write here to say, never could.
  556.  
  557. Fortunately, it takes no coach ever more until you get my message. Or is this a problem again? If we were benighted in the depths of the Black Forest? Yass I also only know from various media and know that you should have made. I can only play my Barbies doctor. Model were mostly movies I ever saw by accident. Maybe also because I was in love in my life in more fictional than real people. And the real people I made fictitious. I asked them not, but tinkered fictions in my head, based on the people I met. I projected my wishes and my own person to the other person. The people were to fictional characters in my head, not so true companions. Fiction is more pleasant than the world because fiction is reasonable and logical. Fictional people not bother with real quirks, their own will and personality. You are what I want and behave the way I want to, and they say what I want. I hope that it is with you, not only in my head.
  558.  
  559. Just like that.
  560.  
  561. I write these lines to the man, whose name I can not pronounce my trust, let alone write about. This is such a Mister-Big-Thing. I stare at the button, which will let the news slip out of my hands. My nostrils quiver. I close my eyes and hit with a finger, the message in his hands. When he is well-read? And answer!
  562.  
  563. Embarrassed, I look at his Facebook profile, when he posted the last time something. From fixed computer or from mobile devices? His usage I have already spied on. When he posts something? What kinds of messages? To whom? Even slightly obsessive I renew his profile page, on Twitter and watch his status in Jabber.
  564.  
  565. Oh, he has posted a message on Twitter! My nerves get going. I can see from the short message, whether he is sitting on his laptop or the mobile terminal, because it uses different clients. (Echofon on the mobile device, to throw the 140 characters in the world. TweetDeck contrast on a laptop.) This time, TweetDeck is very small at the bottom edge of the short message. So he's at home, he must have seen the mail. And he could answer easily. My breathing becomes faster. What he probably thinks now? Did he have the time to read it completely? If it was too long, so the only mean that he does not like me really! Why he can not drop everything and lie? I read all of his e-mails immediately, only to find the answer days later that I unfortunately only now come to the answers. This social game is for me and my wife from vaccinated clichés spirit, but for him? I update my inbox every minute. No answer.
  566.  
  567. There! Suddenly! He responds to a Tweet. I just freeze. My heart beats to the neck, the adrenaline coursing through my body. Why is he doing this? He must have really seen the mail! How come he does not respond to this, but writes some nonsense on my much more intimate stupid short message? Perhaps he has not read the mail? If she's ever received? Maybe she's landed in the spam folder or he has so many messages that he has overlooked my! Oh, that's crazy. Surely he hates me after this embarrassing and epic long announcement. How could he not? The next few hours I am constantly in my thoughts in my mailbox and physically under constant stress. With each vibration of my mobile device, I expect an answer. He will not answer me, he must think I'm a completely crazy person! Now just tweet anything. Something to do, which implies that I do not stare at the small screen. He will not register because I'm sure. Why he does not answer? Damn. That it can not leave you cold. Now he has gone offline! Without having to write anything! Damn, I should not have to write. That's silly! What should he say to that? I cant from my neuroses about him and immediately expect a meaningful answer? Yes! If he would like me, then he would have realized how difficult it has fallen, and would give me an answer now. Even if he sees things differently and he goes too fast. That's disrespectful!
  568.  
  569. I try to sleep, so I roll around me, yet rigid now and then on my small screen and wait. I need to sleep, I am not crazy, I ...
  570.  
  571. The alarm goes off. I have a few hours behind with wild dreams of nonsense to me. I look down at my phone. An e-mail. From him. It's there. Now. In panic I tatsche around on the screen to read the mail.
  572.  
  573. "No problem. Just fits. "
  574.  
  575. That's it? Really? I pour my heart out to him and then this? I feel like I'm in a bad romance. So now we're at the level where we behave like cheap copies of traditional gender roles in Hollywood films. I feel sick. A mixture of embarrassment and nausea, yes shame comes over me. I do not answer. I can not. Whatever? Or is it? As in state of shock, I stare at the screen. What should I do now? Does he expect a response? What can you say? Should I? Will he do it? As it rings the doorbell.
  576.  
  577. "I thought that it's easier if I tell you in the face of what I think of your mail."
  578.  
  579. I stare at him. And then we'll talk. So from face to face. <3
  580.  
  581.  
  582.  
  583.  
  584.  
  585. I is relative, or: How I Learned to invent an identity
  586.  
  587. tl, dr: The Internet can escape each one's personality. At the same time it's hard to know whom you are dealing with, or even just to himself
  588.  
  589. The invention of digital identities has always been part of my existence. It was first chloe.ffw, then jade that process the frightening existentialism and react to the excessive demand by constructivism in Jostein Gaarder's "Sophie's World" had. If my mind is everything, yes, everything and nothing!, Then I am nothing but a construction of myself, my world is a construction of my mind. This hypothesis is confirmed for me to this day every day in the digital sphere. On the computer was and I am God.
  590.  
  591. The freedom of anonymity, identity construction, the genuine self-determination is a lot of people scary. You ogle the Internet with suspicion, and finally with fear. A false identity to enter? Contrary to the laws? Can I make myself liable to persecution? What if someone steals my identity? Am I not better protected if I do not have a computer? (Spoiler: no.)
  592.  
  593. I do not love my country, I love the Internet
  594.  
  595. tl, dr: During the course, I realized that the Internet could be the chance to democracy and freedom around the world to raise to a new level. We formed back then even a virtual state. The cloud computer has long since it is incorporated. For this, there's now the pirates ...
  596.  
  597. At the bottom of the screen lights Juntos name. One of his usual question time:
  598.  
  599. - What are you feeling for Germany?
  600.  
  601. Yes, what connects me to Germany? With the German nation? A nation is an ideal community created because people want it. But I wanted the German nation ever? And this idea of ​​people, what's the point? All who speak German are German and united? Junto I feel a lot closer than most of my neighbors.
  602.  
  603. - Good question. Of course I speak German, I like the German language. I love the German research.
  604.  
  605. - Steppenwolf, I know!
  606.  
  607. - :) Yes, Steppenwolf! But a lot else. I like the German climate and nature. The food. Well, what that's saying? I am by accident in Germany as a child born of people who were born in Germany. I do not believe in nations.
  608.  
  609. - Why not?
  610.  
  611. Junto squeezed me out today without something to talk about himself. Sometimes it's easier to ask questions than to answer that. Whether he identifies himself with his very country? We see the democracy of course, criticize our leaders. Because where Junto comes from, the people are risking their lives for democracy straight. I'm afraid zurückzufragen Junto. Somehow I want to read the answer is not straight and type:
  612.  
  613. - Nations are an invention of man. I was born in a society that sees itself as a German nation. Thus, I am bound and drawn. As well as the social situation: my parents are rich and educated? I'm an orphan? Or I grow up during a war? These are conditions that I can not change.
  614.  
  615. - Do you believe in coincidence?
  616.  
  617. - Rather of interactions that take place, but not be targeted. Nevertheless, it is easier when you have life as leads, as everything makes sense somehow. Karma or something.
  618.  
  619. - But do not connect with your country?
  620.  
  621. - My Country? I do not understand what is to be my country. Germany in 2012? Nationalism in Germany is rightly frowned upon. Nationalism is the ridiculous notion that the society in which I live has some overarching sense. The random link will be canonized. But yeah, I also feel connected with Germany, especially with its culture. I know the country, the history, the mentality. I know what smells like Germany, even if sometimes it stinks terribly. It's familiar to me. Familiar is comfortable. I can be, without having to deal with me too much.
  622.  
  623. Whether I want to continue the conversation, I do not know. For Junto I sound anyway just like a spoiled child. But precisely because of its situation grabs me again the despair about the immutability of the world. And I know this feeling all too well. This existential despair made me study politics, but it has me paralyzed for years especially.
  624.  
  625. On 11 September 2001 the world politics radically penetrated into the life of fifteen-year-old chloe.ffw. What had happened in New York and why? Who had done it? The shock of the images, and especially about the reactions to it buried itself deep into her straight nascent worldview. Burning flags, entry end tanks, grief and panic rained upon them. Overwhelmed by the world, they soon devoured by Wikipedia and various news portals. It met with conspiracy to insane ideas and a world whose abysses would not admit it. It dealt with Vietnam, Iran and Afghanistan. Finally, read her a book Advanced Course, which would have no greater effect may have. Kant's "Perpetual Peace," they completely disillusioned and persistent. The very first lines drove her to the quick.
  626.  
  627. "Perpetual Peace. Whether this satirical headline on the shields that Dutch innkeeper, after which a cemetery was painted, the people in general, and especially the leaders who can the war will never be satisfied, or perhaps even just the philosopher is true, the dream of the sweet dream too, may be Being asked. "
  628.  
  629. They realized that we have not changed since this document in principle. Worse, the solutions were all already thinking. Just talked to the people turn not. EVERYTHING WAS ALREADY THERE! Hardly a slogan reflected their attitude as much as Francis Fukuyama's "end of history" - well, now what?
  630.  
  631. It was anx that changed everything. Whether chloe.ffw in love with him and jade was because he showed her a new beginning of history, or whether the new beginning as jade, because she fell in love, is insignificant. After all these years on the common school, Christian and chloe.ffw had initially lost sight of. Christian then suddenly appeared again - as another. He called himself anx. His aura was suddenly a mixture of Che Guevara, Jesus and a cyborg. The long hair, military clothes, found the attitude to the world. anx jade and most of the time sitting together in front of their computers and were carried away by the political outlook in the network. They set policy in self-defense. Influential groups had after years of ignorance suddenly discovered the power as an enemy. Of barrings was mentioned. Also believe that copyright violations severely punished, the network should be commercialized and regulated. Previously you had the Internet community can be free in the indefinite spheres. But the funds were merciless. The sound harsh. The years of shadowy existence of the Digital Natives was suddenly of interest to those in power. And why? Because the network is not so ticking as they would like it. And because it threatens their world. If anx hours at night chatting with and did things for Wikileaks, then jade was proud. She hoped that WikiLeaks would make the world better. Transparent. Would be revealed that the activities of corrupt criminals who abuse their power. Finally, there could be documents proving the involvement of intelligence agencies. Finally, it would have to believe everyone. Finally there would be evidence.
  632.  
  633. Wikileaks has failed. Also to internal strife. But Wikileaks is more than a platform, it was the birth of Leakens. Leaken - that make information available to the public that should be withheld from her - is an effective weapon against the abuse of power. A powerful idea. As powerful as a law that sets rules for the coexistence of people.
  634.  
  635. Currently our politicization took most of the internet seriously not even true or not true. But we felt concentrated and felt the need to change the carbon environment. One evening, during a meeting with jade anx an idea:
  636.  
  637. "A state is indeed nothing but an idea, anx. The idea that a defined amount of people doing on a defined area defined things in order to meet the definition of citizen. "
  638.  
  639. "Provided that recognize all defined units that idea."
  640.  
  641. "Actually, we could declare a virtual state! With virtual elections. With virtual, voluntary citizens who have a virtual identity. But with a real home! What is home in the digital world? "
  642.  
  643. anx is in a trance-like state, except "127.0.0.1." he says nothing.
  644.  
  645. "And 16 mbit / s At least. Birth is no longer a prison, if the state wants to live in the one to choose according to the values ​​and objectives that represent one's own attitude can. And our goals are clear. They are virtual, they are utopian. "
  646.  
  647. "You're a iTopie."
  648.  
  649. anx stops. For a moment it seems as if the world stood still. The painstakingly developed, refined in all details world in which they grew up, is questioned. And then each puzzle piece morphs to his proper place. To the place which it had never previously considered the right one for yourself. anx hugging jade stormy, kissing her face everywhere, does not take the proper place, hugs her.
  650.  
  651. The idea is not nonsense? In the head it goes through, what their state law professors and how to smile at them, they are. In this case the whole is quite plausible. It's not like that a virtual state would be completely absurd. On the contrary, the idea is incredibly close, it will jump to almost one. jade winds from anx 'embrace:
  652.  
  653. »A virtual state needs principle much less than a material. It needs a server, and access it needs people. It takes life. Concept. Definition. "
  654.  
  655. "So we need first some website. How about iTopy? Or open state? Ostate? Net? Org? You must be able to log in, discuss, aggregate share information, discuss, evaluate. A newspaper! And we must cooperate. We make huge conferences on the Internet. We protest against RFID and Stasi 2.0, against the Secretary of the Interior and State Security terror. We fight. We resist. We are the people. "
  656.  
  657. "Maybe we should write a manifesto? We do have to be prepared if they recognize us then maybe! "
  658.  
  659. jade is at this moment as convinced as rare. So they write in a Etherpadinstanz who has programmed himself anx. Precaution. He writes in blue, she in pink:
  660.  
  661. 09.02.2006
  662.  
  663. To the world, the universe, and all the people who are able to contact just to those in contact.
  664.  
  665. Convinced that people are not the only sentient beings in the vastness of the universe, we dedicate these words to all who are able to tap into it. All sentient beings are equal and have the right to have rights. Rights that protect our people against arbitrariness and violence, should also protect all other sentient beings in the universe.
  666.  
  667. We stand for universal right. Only defense against a hostile tuned and attacking life can be described as legitimate. The inclusion of an alternative form of life beyond Earth should apply to anyone as ridiculous as a general denial of this very testifies attached arrogance of the human individual. But without her genuine, universal democracy is possible.
  668.  
  669. The demand for a direct democratic environment is a logical consequence of democracy itself Some states on this planet, they are already practicing. Nevertheless, the incredible mass of citizens makes this step impossible in most states. The freedom is in a case of representation, the direct influence of the people is no longer possible. With the Internet, the call for direct democracy was loud again, just as the call for free elections over the Internet, according to a new world order.
  670.  
  671. Cyberspace was ten years ago, declared independence, although he is always been and always will be - if man knows how to use it. This virtual state will lay a foundation for a community of all people, of all sentient beings. Therefore we proclaim today oState.org here - a virtual state.
  672.  
  673. "You know that this is nonsense anyway, right?"
  674.  
  675. "Yes. But it's worth a try. "
  676.  
  677. Almost six years later, in early 2012, I type oState.org into your subject line. You will see a page that offers me electronic office equipment. Our state is gone, the cloud has swallowed this early version of Liquid Democracy gracious. Looking at the meager selection of new online stores with dollar prices I remember wistfully at the seriousness with which we tried to fill this country with life. We met in an idyllic cottage in the Black Forest, actually gave a newspaper, questioned the international policy and called for an unconditional basic income, as well as free access to knowledge and culture, the protection of privacy and the integrity of the network.
  678.  
  679. One from the time I recently met with the pirates. One of them knew Junto. And one died.
  680.  
  681.  
  682.  
  683.  
  684.  
  685. Splutter in world affairs
  686.  
  687. tl, dr: The Internet brings the world into my living room, including misery and injustice. Am I responsible if the Middle East is murdered or whether it in the outermost Mongolia's democracy? No one can be everywhere at once, and it's fine to start with the political work in their own country. But I can go for at least the freedom and anonymity of the net. To everyone, everywhere.
  688.  
  689. Revolution. It's so far. The news ticker freak out. Revolution in the Middle East. First Tunisia, then Egypt, now Juntos home. Mortensen is busy for hours to make sure the internet supply for the democratization movement, because Juntos government sabotaged the network.
  690.  
  691. The screen flickers, the authorization box opens. Oh, SPAM, I think out of boredom and click on the profile. Normally there is something in Cyrillic letters, often in combination with Latin letters as sexyGirl1993 consequences. Not this time. This time it's Junto. My breath away. He has set up his computer and all new accounts. Mortensen's plan is therefore risen. I had heard nothing since the last chat, only Mortensen has reported that it was well Junto. As far as this is possible at all. Because the internet says otherwise, of murder and torture, violence and arrests.
  692.  
  693. Junto writes: In these times, we are all family. Humans. Remember that. The blood of innocent people. Our blood. The tears of parents, friends and loved ones. Remember that. Do not forget our stories. Please.
  694.  
  695. Freezes I look at the lines. What can I do? Can I do anything? While tears running down her cheeks, I do not know how I should react. What should I tell him? How can I encourage him? I sit thousands of miles away, have no influence on the political or even military decisions of the West. The West should intervene at all? What happened Juntos home borders on state mass murder. Or is one. I do not know. I feel that something that concerns me, and I fear for Junto - and yet I am in a strange distance to what he writes. On one hand I'm glad to hear from him, but I also feel so bad and helpless that I'm angry for a moment on him. Why he puts me out of the? Or rather the internet. I sit helplessly at the screen, I'm middle of the action without having to do anything.
  696.  
  697. Junto writes about his hope and the will for freedom, equality and justice to fight. He believes that we can create a just and free world. He says that he will witness the victory for the good cause maybe not. I begin to sob. Luckily for me looks Junto not. He would try to comfort me. That would be embarrassing. So I can tell him that he is fighting for the right thing. And that I admire him. From my desk I can confirm him in his courage I myself would hardly.
  698.  
  699. Sad and aggressive I flap to the computer. In my mind TV images of starving children appear that face with big eyes and distended bellies into the camera. The images from the concentration camps with the emaciated corpses. I think of the food that we throw away every day, the hours I spend in front of monitors, the small problems and disputes over bright blue eye shadow and age restrictions at Bobbycars. To the people who toil in this world so that I can purchase for 39.90 a digital camera.
  700.  
  701. The Council meets in my head busy with Karl Marx, Ulrike Meinhof, Theodor Adorno, Marie Antoinette, Ralf Dahrendorf, Hannah Arendt, Max Weber, my parents (which speaks of the impossibility of communism father and mother of the exchange, each person is the way he is) fine. Friedrich Nietzsche, Kurt Schumacher and Konrad Adenauer are also there, and they argue. The sense and nonsense of the market economy, about human nature and enforceability of ideals, morality and the good life. Some cry, others point out that angry people do not think that Marie Antoinette answered with a smug "Who cares!". Hitler and Stalin today I unloaded times. Similarly, Hegel. I am overcome by a trembling desire to change the world, radically now. I close the computer on again.
  702.  
  703. Junto is gone. I have not said goodbye to him.
  704.  
  705. Instead, at the left side flit past the news of the day. Any pop star died. And there was a flood with a few hundred deaths in Africa. An action plan to combat climate change has burst. I can bomb a city in Libya watch streamed. The Zoo in Pyongyang for a camel has died, a panther has devoured it. The YouTube video will be shown again and again on television.
  706.  
  707. The digital age us crosslinked with the rest of the world. Misery and need a lot more part of me than they were in the age of television. Every day patters the true state of the world on me, crushing me with a demand for responsibility, then, to make my life differently, to make all of life differently. Every day I read of exploitation and abuse of power somewhere in the world, of people who suffer from corrupt governments, warlords, arms dealers, greedy corporations and the super rich. I read about irrelevant celebrities and weight loss tips, on destruction of money and other absurd excesses of human culture, and I feel shabby. Every day I try to act. Every day I fail. My life is pervaded by inconsistency, I live constantly in contradiction to the fact that I know better or should know, when I actually handle. There are no strict life in the wrong.
  708.  
  709. The Internet carries the whole span of human existence, and the responses to this misery - and yet is constantly aware that we can not do anything about the problems. There is so much to do better. But where to start? With us, we ourselves have enough to do to get through life? Overwhelmed by their own problems, we are of the problems of others drawn further into the moral abyss. And yet: Can you accuse someone of having experienced no misery? Sorry to know just from looking?
  710.  
  711. Another petition. Since it has managed the petition against power locks to collect many signatures, every week a new spin. With one click I save the world, that is the intention. Click for ideas for protest. There are now massive political clicker. Sofa activists. Is it really an improvement if people employ as populist and superficial with the problems in Africa? By chance we get to a site on the web, witness how children are dying because they were born in the wrong place. We see them here. We film them, ask them out. And the ad-funded portals draw profit, the more you click, the more. We observe, without us seriously ask what leads to this unnecessary suffering and misery. Like I like, not me.
  712.  
  713. The new forms of communication to overcome the distance and take us anywhere in the world into your living room. But they bring us in close? It makes me not just affected just pointless?
  714.  
  715. 'You have to be aware of your limitations. Then you can accept others because they have other skills and competencies in their limitations. "These words I find in an interview with Vilem Flusser. He speaks of humility and that I am not responsible, "whether in Outer Mongolia democracy is introduced or not." I like it, even if it is unsatisfactory. For Flusser is right when he says that the ethics of the concrete in the end is how nationalism, because it refers only to the immediate in my surroundings. Although the neighborhood is virtually.
  716.  
  717. Nevertheless, there are also with us modern heroes. Genuine activists who dedicate their work to the changes, get up from the sofa. As Mortensen. Petty criminal friends showed him how to crack digital security systems. Little boys - the greatest enemy of the CIA in the digital age. So from Mortensen was a hacker. And the hacking gave him the belief to be able to move something back. Hacking is a philosophy radically autonomous, rule-breaking behavior. Mortensen learned "to program the world." He learned to have influence. However, since he speaks publicly about what he does, the hatred heaped on him. Meanwhile, Mortensen some intelligence against them. It is not without consequences in aiding rebels and tells them how they can get rid of government surveillance. And so increasingly de Mortensen his own life. But policy to live consistently today requires great dedication.
  718.  
  719. How is the network more or less unrecognized moves? Is not so easy!
  720.  
  721. (There follows a tutorial)
  722.  
  723. Checks and payment cards are taboo, all payments must be made by cash. No letters and mail to the actual address. In general, the address may not be listed. Not even the registration office. This already has exceeded the limit of the legals.
  724.  
  725. Then: Encryption is the heart of a privacy-aware life. Encrypt all the connections that you build. Never give your birth date, as many records, especially authorities are also available. Passwords must be individualized and changed regularly. You shall ideally be about 30 characters. The network can be used is limited. After each trip and each scan through the security systems at the airport, a new laptop is necessary because there are often spyware installed on such security checks. Without your knowledge.
  726.  
  727. Everything has to go through proxies, intermediaries to disguise the origin of the data. This is how, for example, "TOR". TOR stands for The Onion Router: like an onion, there are several layers of encryption, which are more or less independently. At least so independent that they have to be individually encrypted and decrypted. Basically, it works like Chinese whispers at school. Slips of paper will continue and returned, and everyone knows only the immediate goal and his immediate predecessors. A proxy interrupts the flow of data between switches and leads the Observatoren so astray. Thus, TOR can function effectively, there must be many nodes. Anyone who can run a proxy on your own computer makes digital solidarity with the people who can bypass the barriers and restrictions in their countries.
  728.  
  729. You give these people a quasi invisibility cloak. That is one way to help ensure that people are able to communicate freely and anonymously. Free from social pressure and majority terror.
  730.  
  731. Anonymity also brings challenges, especially in terms of etiquette. Desert insults and insinuations, threats and sexual harassment express themselves in the anonymity of uninhibited. A price I'm happy to pay for freedom of speech ready. Never before us was what people really think, as detailed before documented. That is why I support that Mortensen does not distinguish between good and bad users anonymous communication that is more a fundamental right. Divided into good and evil, that is only possible with oversight of the users and their data streams. Anonymity is just the absence of monitoring. How much does a society need anonymity? Much. Mortensen does TOR every year that I know him a bit more. It is always dangerous for him to act in the network. Why is he doing there anyway? He also wonders.
  732.  
  733.  
  734.  
  735.  
  736.  
  737. Sex also goes online
  738.  
  739. tl, dr: There are days when you do things for which we are ashamed the next morning. This is despite the Internet, nothing. Digitality can be very intimate and must not therefore be controlled.
  740.  
  741. Leonard has a talent, always send in the worst moment of his chat requests. Regardless, I wanted nothing more work anyway and let me in on the conversation. Leonard goes today's obviously not a cognitive processes, rather bluntly he types:
  742.  
  743. - Let's talk about sex, baby. Tell me of this last one-night stand.
  744.  
  745. Leonard tries again ... already quite a while to catch me sexually, so far I have always distracted. Wine I have drunk enough, now he has me.
  746.  
  747. - I do not even know what's the name of the type. It was in Spain. On the coast near Barcelona I lay on the beach, as he deals with a challenging grin, put me and asked me if he could hold my hand. I can remember little as he looked determined, tall and dark-haired. I can only remember this deep penetrating voice with which he would make me do anything he wanted. I was stunned, ashamed, but nodded and whispered: Yes, please. We lay there and my heart was racing, my body trembling with desire for these arbitrary types, whom I already got too close with his intrusive body odor.
  748.  
  749. I stop typing. What am I doing here? Erotic stories for Bastion-Luebbe write?
  750.  
  751. - Go on! Did you feel let him know you're excited?
  752.  
  753. - Yes. (I'm already back on tap!) - At some point, he got up, still my hand in his, and said that we must go into the sea. Cool. I followed him a little woozy, tapsend and with the urgent need to kiss him, to touch him, to lick his sweat. I remained silent in his presence, so unbelievable that may sound. Slowly we went into hiding in the cool waves, still hand in hand. He pulled me through the water as a matter of course, that caressed my excited body.
  754.  
  755. Although I given the schmaltzy formulations in almost hysterical laughter erupting and me even a little bit very great find with my newfound passion as Rosamunde Pilcher Pornographin, the wine seems to have boarded my head completely. I feel just an irritating form of arousal, somewhere between shame and complete dissolution of boundaries. My breasts are contracted.
  756.  
  757. - Read more ...
  758.  
  759. And even though I'm not sure today if that's about right, what's happening here, I'm typing on. Of course. I give Leonard what he wants for a long time. So indirectly. Or he wants to but something else entirely? Then he would not now do what he does.
  760.  
  761. - After a few turns, I see from a distance a small lagoon. He does it, I think. We do it. We gently rise from the waves and quickly heated on the bounce in the sun stones. He knows where it's at. We sit under a ledge in the cool sand, shaking my breasts. With his index finger he strokes my wet belly and slowly move over my breasts bouncing up to my mouth. I breathe hard. We are looking into the eyes before he grabs me in the neck and pressed his lips to my salty-tasting.
  762.  
  763. That I have changed the tense, Leonard is not noticed determined. Whether he can tap with one hand?
  764.  
  765. - This has clearly paid off, to wait that long!
  766.  
  767. I shudder, I take a big swig of white wine and continue typing. I have now written to excitement, and although I'm ashamed, I do not stop. I Raise purely by the second more. And yes, I have the feeling of being able to smell the sea, no matter how silly it sounds even to my ears.
  768.  
  769. - His hands wander over my body, my ass, my breasts, stripes on my bikini, which he pulls out slowly. He leans over me with his toned body, looking at me from above, hugs me, and I feel an explosion that goes through my body. A deep sigh wrests itself to me. Over and over again. Finally, he carries me, still in me, wrapped my legs around him, into the water. I let myself fall onto the surface of the water and enjoy the gentle collisions.
  770.  
  771. I gasp slightly. This is exciting, as I could imagine. And then with Leonard. I stare at the window. The time has flown.
  772.  
  773. - The sun is shining on our bodies and we lose ourselves in us, to the sea at the beach anschwemmt us again. At sunset he looks at me and asks me my name. I am silent. Then we swam back and I never saw him again.
  774.  
  775. - It worked ...
  776.  
  777. Oh dear, what happened exactly? I feel better than I like. Leonard has entered fully. I giggle at the flap cheap erotica story and go offline. Own fault if he does not even notice that the characters have no contraception.
  778.  
  779. What's wrong with me? I think of an ironing housewife moans bored arbitrary Groaning noises into the phone. Why do I sit here and do something like that? Still unpaid so. I lie and knowingly and willingly fulfill all the clichés about cybersex, although I usually neither erotic nor otherwise find stimulating. And yet I can not deny that has happened to me with something. I found it exciting to manipulate Leonard, but it was more than that I need to know my counterpart in cybersex, my imagination has never been enough for me to tinker a man in thought. I need for real role models. Real men. Or sometimes real women. Even if they are fictional.
  780.  
  781. If I have learned one of the interchangeable digital platforms being, then it's all there. Rule 34: There is porn of it, no exceptions.
  782.  
  783.  
  784.  
  785. The power belongs to all
  786.  
  787. tl, dr:., the Internet, the space of infinite possibilities, the radical counter-public sphere requires the use of bold. In too many parts of the world that is associated with a risk of injury or death. Behind the data we stuck. And only we.
  788.  
  789. We agreed on a party in a squat, I sit on a semi moldy sofa between graffiti and punk music, sip on a Oettinger and twittering. Here comes Mortensen. His eyes are deep and rings are swollen, shaking his pupils, as he told me with a certain voice says what happened. That his efforts were in vain, that Junto is probably dead.
  790.  
  791. My mouth opens, does not accept, give comfort, instead, tears running down my cheeks. I want to hug Mortensen would make undo what happened, the message can disappear. What is actually happening? Mortensen sobs, he blames himself, he stammered something about a picture that Junto wanted to send him showing the police violence against the rebels and should be leaked to the local media.
  792.  
  793. »Junto would not send me the photo may," says Mortensen. "I would have had to forbid him. I have given him a false sense of security. I was careless. It's my fault. "He falls silent.
  794.  
  795. I knew that there had been complications - not least had the evening news reports about a new wave of arrests in Juntos home.
  796.  
  797. "It's only data," Mortensen repeated over and over again. "They're just data."
  798.  
  799. We sit in silence, holding hands with us and drink beer.
  800.  
  801. The death, which is something for old people, not for us, I think, I can not imagine what it is like to be old and mortal. How could they? We still have so much time. Everyone looks at us, in the future of my generation, the new, the hope. Everyone wants to be young, to win the youth from exactly that reason. It is the physical state of the person who is the death of the most distant, the nearest future. Sometimes I click on the remaining sections of the deceased and realize that death in the digital world is something very distant and abstract. Not least because data are immortal anyway. Nevertheless, behind data, these electrical pulses, whole identities and livelihoods. Behind the many pixels to life, real subjects, succumbing to fear and full of love, jealousy, their loved ones to hide cheating. And even if we are aware of the pitfalls of electric golems, we forget the caution all too quickly in the heat like in comfort. We send our data to make us clickable objects to, asking people to click on us to sort us, classify. We Pixelate life. And sometimes we use it as risk.
  802.  
  803. "What's going on here?" A familiar voice. Leonard gets closer. Effusively I fall into his arms. As he pushes me and soothing phrases ear speaks I sob on his shoulder. We sit down. He hands me a cigarette and another beer.
  804.  
  805. "This world is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. "Something I apathetic bobbing back and forth, the words rhythmically repetitive. »What does the notion of Data Love, if it costs human lives? What Junto had assumed that he had internet? Nothing! Just nothing ... we sit here and make us think about cloud computer and information technology, while for people like Junto to quite fundamental freedoms and human rights are ... went ... "I start sobbing again.
  806.  
  807. Leonard silent and put his arm around me. He talks to me, but I did not listen. It was just a picture on a monitor.
  808.  
  809. Monitors condition our subconscious to two forms of reality. The first one consists of Club Mate and pizza and the noise of the tram, squeaky office chair and fully hung with posters walls. Different from the images, which was to transport my monitor in this first reality It's up to me, which I suppose these realities in my heart.
  810.  
  811. What would the Communist chloe.ffw today? Determined that the technique should be used as a means of democratization and abolition of power structures once. And see that we have that technology in the capitalist logic is captured and that the power structures mapped in the art and reproduced. That we may observe just how power relations manifest themselves through technology. That the markets have been linked to people, and managed to produce a redistribution upward. That we are now the will to network, to the fight against international corporate elite need. That it is fundamentally about designing a company goes, where each person will be awarded participation. And that it is worth fighting for it. They would still eat the small, cold piece of steak.
  812.  
  813. What remains, it rattles in my head. What is left?
  814.  
  815. Whether Junto in his last moments thought of that he died for the cause of freedom? Or do I want him to understand from my cozy attic apartment only as "noble savages"? Do we even have meant the same thing when we talked each of freedom? From what I have to do even more to be freed, and that violence against Junto had to fight every day to get erstreiten even the smallest individual freedom? I regret that I asked him so little.
  816.  
  817. I think at one point I thought Junto and the same thing if we were talking about freedom. We went to openness to limitlessness. One can an ever-changing world not addressed through closed thinking. A listening ear, an open heart and an open mind must overcome their own fears and prejudices. For me that is the real meaning of transparency. This is about much more than procedure for waste incinerators. It's about thinking transparent, transparent societies, transparent cultures. Transparency means nothing less than the elimination of the subjective as the absolute scale of being by yourself and you do it consciously other.
  818.  
  819. Transparency means primarily, to gain insight, and knowledge to make operations transparent to show the shadows without wipe it out. To lift the veil and understand the complexities. It's not about the smoothing of the people to the leveling of differences, but making visible the differences. The hiding of human differences, under the guise of confidentiality is a crime against those who are to be made invisible, which is denied a place in the society because they are uncomfortable, noisy, because they own and raise grievances. Sometimes they do it all just by being the way they are, look how they look, live as they live. A man, however, who knows himself, can also recognize themselves. To say presumptuous and arrogant, Junto would have died for it, but I know that he has lived it. Somehow.
  820.  
  821. Meanwhile, the party is too crowded, it smells like beer and dogs. The worst thing about the squatters are the mutts that are as big as ponies. It shakes me, as a pony these dogs drool running towards me. In the corner is a mattress, it is a sleeping body. Raptured I observe the goings, the interactions of those present, and type a message to Mr Big, the three magic words. I miss him.
  822.  
  823. Suddenly it does a bang. Smoke and panic spread.
  824.  
  825. "Hammer, the cops make 'a raid! Get out! "
  826.  
  827. Leonard grabs me and we started running. While we run through the narrow aisles, he calls out to me that I should hold my arm over his face, because of the CS gas. As if I did not know that. The scene is as bizarre as exciting and just a game. Maybe it's the high heels, where I can escape amazingly well from the police. We play cops and robbers.
  828.  
  829. "Quick," I hear one of the residents say, "take pictures and videos. We need proof, otherwise it is called again after that we started. "
  830.  
  831. That this evidence is irrelevant and should be perceived only in the net, all know. And yet we continue. At home I type meaningless pregnant in the following keys:
  832.  
  833. The network will never again be as free as the last two decades, if we do not continue to fight about. This is not a question of generation, but a question of attitude. We have achieved much in recent years, but the freedom of the network is still in danger. And now more than ever, where all recognize its importance.
  834.  
  835. Maybe the last few years are regarded as the most free time of our lives. And yet we have tasted freedom, and we let them take us no more. The optimism is over. The battle has begun. "
  836.  
  837. La Fin
  838.  
  839.  
  840.  
  841. Postscript: A Manifesto to change the world without earth-shattering insights
  842.  
  843. A manifesto is a commonly bemühter attempt to represent public goals and ideas, to arouse emotions, people infected with ideas and hope. Usually fails this test, usually it sounds silly, and yet many try over and over again. A manifest is a cry for help, and therefore has little Overconfidence, as it seeks a sharp contrast to the reality that will affect it. A manifesto is only considered if it can be considered a historical document.
  844.  
  845. The empires have conquered and fallen, thought the world's great designs and written down, the tragedies of history are listed, and the curtain fell. What's left is a worn by elite Zeitgeist, which speaks of the future and visions, yet only the canonization of the status quo has in mind, which must be defended against all idealism and the consequent transformation. Future, which is only one type case of the same old phrases that promise nothing but a continuation of the past. Yet is resistance.
  846.  
  847. While the people of North Africa to the streets and overthrow their unpopular elites in the U.S., Wall Street is busy and street battles are fought in Greece, is the German society and technology affinity Nerdetten nerds a chance to make policy. A group of people who feel the Internet and its possibilities committed and has looked far and distant critical to democracy. But now they want outsiders who come from a new world to conquer the comfortable old - with a revolutionary gesture.
  848.  
  849. These people have left the monitors at times and set out to change the world. To save. Before us lies an ocean of opportunities to use our freedom really make our future new.
  850.  
  851. The Pirates are a party to the post-democratic era, the 18th the fight against relapse into the conditions of the pre-revolutionary Century and has taken to break the logic of representative democracy looks deflated. She sees herself in the fight against a bloodless, hollow democracy, dominated by indistinguishable "people's parties" technocrats, lobbies and easily become citizens.
  852.  
  853. But in keeping with the "Post", calling the pirates not only the rule of the people, no, they question the sense of rule generally questioned. For how power is exercised with us, delegitimized and threatens her policy in general, and has already led to political debates are no longer actually. Instead of open-ended and there is a constructive debate Gemütlichkeitskonsens, arising from excessive demands, prohibitions and thought the reference to the regulatory power of the market, due to the assumed concentration and increasing interdependence of state economic character.
  854.  
  855. Fundamental issues are not addressed, ingrained processes may not be questioned, regardless of how harmful they are and that they only serve the dominant elites. The pirates rebelling against. Against what has become established in their painstaking efforts as a political operation, and like a relic from an unknown time acts, rituals and ideas that no one can really understand And wants. But what we want, when we open it, make everything different?
  856.  
  857. 0th The story is the story of existential struggle for freedom with the design of individual self-assertion against the world. This fight, we want to continue, for a free and caring society.
  858.  
  859. First We fight for a new knowledge-based society in which people are committed to the "project of the Enlightenment." Everyone should to all the information and knowledge contents to have equal access, both as producers and as recipients of them, all options are open. Goal is a society in which people share ideas and not be hidden from them - be it for economic or ideological reasons. A society in which people are not punished for their pursuit of knowledge with monitoring. A society in which every person has the right to networking, information, knowledge and free, uncontrolled communication. And anonymity.
  860.  
  861. Second We fight for social participation, to ensure that every person, regardless of race, gender, age and other characteristics distinktionsfähigen, a place in society. Each person needs to lead a life of dignity, without financial worries without fear of social exclusion. Every person is valuable, has a story that is an asset, and the right to be recognized as such.
  862.  
  863. Third We are fighting for an independent life, for the opportunity to make decisions freely. For a society in which people accept these decisions and not be stigmatized.
  864.  
  865. 4th We are fighting for a livable world. Our world is unique and worthy of protection. Our living space is designed by us, our lives will be protected by us. Our world is the only one we have, and our life is based on her and her resources. It is our duty, therefore, to protect them.
  866.  
  867. 5th We fight for true democracy and against any authority, if only the church. We fight for an open and accountable government that is truly neutral and therefore all uses. For distributed platforms, serve the people, not themselves or the centralization profiteers; meet basic needs and provide a dignified life. We demand platform neutrality. We demand fair procedures for decision making and the participation of all, because democracy is when the process is more painful than the result.
  868.  
  869.  
  870.  
  871.  
  872.  
  873. Thanks
  874.  
  875. Anyone who pretends he brought the people to think they love. Who she really brings to think they hate. (Don Marquis)
  876.  
  877. Writing a book is a great challenge and a similar joy. I actually got the chance to do it this way, I owe a great many people. Ahead of that, my parents gave me the freedom to be intellectually active people who support me in everything I do, and gave me a wonderful environment for my spiritual development. But my siblings and the rest of my family and friends, I thank you that they always challenge me mentally and I always bring to me and what I do, question. I owe a lot of people in my past that had me so sympathetic. Norbert Kirchoff so among other things, Ms. Teschner, Mrs. Hannig and Mr. Kronenberg
  878.  
  879. Also, the publisher, and especially I want to thank the editorial. I do not have my choice of the publisher chosen for the conditions or the political reputation of the publishing group. I have not been addressed by the financial offer, after alleged amenities or with the aim to distinguish me from the publisher name. I chose from the publisher due to my editor, for me it was always about to write a good text, a text that captures me, I will meet and the crowd is still accessible. They succeeded, I think.
  880.  
  881. The last year of my life was devoted to the book and the many things I have learned. I have changed, but also the lines that I have written, is changing. I'm a new version of myself
  882.  
  883. The production of this book have helped many people actively and indirectly affected. A few are mentioned!
  884.  
  885. Thanks to Jannis and his family, the woman who does not want to be named (of which there are two!). Thanks to Deborah, Cora and Frieda, to Yvonne and Jan, to Katrin and Mark, to the many who were with me in spirit and are and where the characters and episodes will be dedicated. Thank you that you have been with me during this stressful process. Even if the amount of energy has cost. You like me.
  886.  
  887. Thanks to the many people who take the time to criticize me sincerely and honestly, the look behind the curtain and see me as not only a projection.
  888.  
  889. Thanks finally to the following people who inspired me and are part of this book. Or just awesome:
  890.  
  891. @ Senficon @ F0O0 @ incredibul @ arte_povera @ rabies district @ slipper punk @ Afelia @ mh120480 @ sofa pillow @ herr_rosenfeld @ _noujoum @ c_holler @ tarzun @ lotter live @ maeusehaut @ laviniast @ mr urbach @ crack pill @ cone klub @ sebastiank @ ekelias @ elquee @ fraulila_de @ seenandsaid @ edomblog @ anti product @ nick_haflinger @ whothefuckisdan @ bangpowwww @ kyra2001 @ ihdl @ map @ research-pie @ mueslikind @ rhotep @ muestri @ anthchirp @ guenter hack @ jensbest @ Singing salad @ thegurkenkaiser @ seeroiberjenny @ is @ johl (The "the citation program temporarily attributed the new Latin" is) @ navybk @ inkorrupt @ haber flock @ piratTJ @ mykke_ @ nine berry @ sebaso @ goldregen whistle @ die_sylvi @ andi popp @ kc__dc @ MSPRO @ sixtus @ simply mark @ cortical @ sudden gray @ times @ andizottmann @ Korbinian @ nad_no_ennas @ insideX @ anked @ thwied @ phaidrosDA kevusch @ @ @ questionatic black blonde plomlompom @ @ @ zeroskillor alios johannesponader @ @ @ FR31H31T f0o0 path integral @ @ @ turpia Felicea @ caevy and the many that I forgot.
  892.  
  893. And finally, I thank the man simply because without him nothing would be....
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