24

===Thread 24===

?Max?? A quiet, somber voice awakens you from your sleep. You crack open your eyes and notice Karen standing over you, dressed in a pink camisole.

?Hmm? What?? You see the entryway open, a Farseer you don?t recognize standing just inside of it. She?s got a faint trace of blood down the front of her armor, and the expression she?s wearing instantly tells you that this is nothing good.

Pulling the sheet around yourself, you stand up and approach her. As you draw near, she extends something out to you. Gently you take the small, thin object from her fingers. She gives you a slight bow of respect as you do.

?What is this?? You ask, but instantly find your voice leaving you far behind.

?He placed it in my hand before he?? The Farseer?s voice trails off.

A picture.

You gaze at it for a long while, how long you?ll never know. It doesn?t register, or maybe it?s just that you don?t want it to.

?Is this some kind of sick joke?? You ask, voice hoarse and choked.

?My sympathies.? The Farseer says, and with a deeper bow she departs back through the entryway.

Knees weak, too weak to stand, you fall backwards into a sitting position on the pink rug beneath you. Placing a hand on your head, you look around the room, and back at the photo.

The picture is a simple one, black and white. Tortuga, you recognize that. You for sure see that you are drunk, severely so. But that isn?t what is eating at you, ravenously tearing your heart from its place in your chest.

Eight is propping you up in the picture, and even though it?s small, almost too small to see, you catch it. A tiny smile, which translates to so much more when you consider the man wearing it.

Scrawled in his chickenscratch, marking the white beneath it is a single word.

?Brothers.?

Next to it, a few small droplets of brown, dried blood.
You don?t even have to ask. You already know what?s happened.

?I?ll? Go make something?? Karen says awkwardly, noticing your expression, and she leaves as well.

Some men say they never cry. Some even say its beneath a real man to cry, that its weakness, for women and children. These are men that have never known true loss.

Nothing could have held back your tears, not all the forces of Malal, not the warp, not even the Emperor himself. With a muffled sound you break down, clutching the photo, unable to look down at it.

?Damn it kid...? You shake your head. You would do anything to turn back time, to just knock him out and not let him go. Though you know, deep down, he would have found a way to slip off regardless.

The hot tears roll freely down your cheeks, and you hang your head in your palm and just let them. You don?t care who sees you, what they might say. Today, a man cries.

When you finally emerge from the tent, it is with a blank face. Adorned in your heavy, grey armor, bristling with weapons.

Karen is waiting outside, having changed somewhere into a fresh set of mechanic digs. She looks up from her racer, grease spots on her clothes, wrench in hand.

?Are you? Alright?? She asks as you stop in front of her.
?I will be. I?ve got one last loose end I need to wrap up before the defecation hits the oscillation, so I?ll be heading out.

?Well, good luck.? Karen smiles, giving you a smooch.

?Let?s hope I won?t need it.?

You swallow hard at your own words. You?ve learned a lot during your time on Yagis V, quite a lot. Namely, don?t go near the ocean.

And don?t mess with the Necrons.

Which is precisely what you are about to go do.

?Though you aren?t without second, third, fourth thoughts.

?What the fuck am I about to do?? You ask yourself as you swing a leg up over the bike.

?Good fucking question!? Your mind rages back.

?I?m about to go try to? Reason with an insane undead robot thingy?? You shrug.

?WHY?

Revving the bike up, you don?t dignify that with a response. So what if your brain is screaming at you, Ackbar is sounding all the alarms, and even your spidey sense is telling you to take two steps back, fuck your own face, and think about what you are really doing.

You slip on a pair of shades.

Fuck those guys, they are just going to have to deal with it.

The motor of Mika?s custom bike screams as you wheelie away from the Ork camp. The work she put into every detail really shows when you open up the throttle. Though you admit to yourself that you may be an awesome driver, there is nothing you enjoy driving more than a well made bike.

Faster and faster you fly across the plain, shredding grass into a torrent of green behind your wheels. It doesn?t matter how much speed you put on, you know this isn?t something you can just run away from. The other issue with the Necron certainly isn?t helping you right now either.

Not to mention, one absolutely critical detail.

...That psychobitch currently has your hat.

The ride clears your head, and allows you to think. You need some kind of plan, which isn?t your strong suit.

As you drive across the field of emerald green, you think. You think hard.

Do you smell smoke? Nah, must be your imagination.

An advantage. You need some kind of advantage. It would be crazy to just think you could just waltz on into the Necron Tomb and come out alive. No, scratch that, fleshy.

The thought causes you to shudder slightly. You really enjoy your meaty bits, and imagining as metal slowly replaced?

?NOPE.?

You skid the bike to a halt, though not at your panicked imagination, but at the terrain. There is a high, rocky ridge with plenty of scrub on it, overlooking a low dry riverbed. You gaze up at the heights, before scowling down at the brown dirt underfoot.

It seems as good a place as any to spring some kind of trap.
Now, time to call in some backup.

Punching in a number, you press the device to your head and count the tones.

??M-Max??

?Hey Mika. Listen, are you busy right now??

?M-me? Well, ah? No??

?Great! Now this might sound crazy but??

You hear something kick a stone from behind you.

?Who are you talking to, my darling?? Comes an all too familiar voice.

"...How did you even find me?!"

"Silly honey, I've been tracking your communicator."

"...Max? H-hello?" You hear Mika ask quietly, the speaker still against your ear.

"Going to have to call you back, I'm afraid."

?Oh Tonya, I was just about to? HA!? With a shout you whirl around, activating your plasma cannon and praying to the Emprah you were fast enough.

Cold, mechanical hands latch onto your arm, and strong fingers force it shut. Guess not.

Shit! If you fire it now, it?ll probably explode!

Out of time, you do the only other thing you can think of, and grab for your axe?

A blast of gauss against the flat of its blade sends it spiraling out of your hand. The Immortal behind you stands still, it?s calculating eyes watching your every move.

You?re thankful it was at least a decent enough shot to not blow off your other arm. Though you wonder if perhaps it missed.

?Now now, I?ll have to punish you if you?re going to be difficult.? Tonya scolds you with a frown, as though you were some kind of child.

She clamps down on your arm, and with incredible strength, forces you to the ground.

A wicked grin illuminates her features, her eyes alight with a crazy green fire.

?Fuck my life.? You sigh, wishing you had perhaps just ignored the Necrons entirely.

?Don?t worry, soon we?ll make you just. Like. Us.?

The feeling of vertigo overwhelms you as Tonya warps.

You phase in, your head spinning and your stomach feeling as though it had just dropped through your abdomen. The sensation is akin to the worst seasickness you?ve ever experienced, multiplied tenfold.

Clutching at your mouth, it?s all you can do to not just hurl. But you wonder why you even stopped yourself.

Hold it Max, hold it?!

It simply isn?t going to happen.

?Bllaaaarrrrrggghhhhhh!!!!? You wretch, vomit spraying from your mouth like a pressure hose. Brilliant, vibrant green vomit. In any other situation, you may have impressed yourself with the distance, volume, and consistency.

Now, though, it only adds to your feeling of utmost dread.

The Necrons all stand, dead in their tracks, as they look at you. Each now adorned with a fresh coat of your stomach contents.

"Man, tequila and Ork pizza do NOT mix."

...No response from the killer robots from space, not surprising.

You wipe your mouth off on the stone slab in front of you. None of the Necrons have yet moved. Each is looking at you, quite hard, and with stares that may have been humorous if their faces could make them.

Tonya sighs as she grabs you roughly by your pauldron, and begins dragging you across the cool floor of the Tomb.

?Honestly, we were all set to begin the ritual and you delay us with something like that.? The Necron girl shakes her head, as though the mere thought were unimaginable.

?It?s your fault for doing that warp thingy, something about the way you tin cans do it doesn?t work with me.?

?Hmm? Don?t worry, soon enough, nothing like that will bother you, ever again.? Tonya looks back and smiles at you. You know she?s trying to make it look reassuring, but given the context it only adds to her insanity.

Knowing it would be useless to struggle, a crowd of Immortals following close behind in the narrow corridor, you succumb to being dragged. Not that you can?t walk, but if she wants to make you into one of THEM, than fuck her you are going to make her work for it.

Though you may have pissed her off, you can?t fault Tonya for one thing, she is pretty gentle with you. Aside from the whole ?ONE Of US. ONE OF US.? Shebang she?s got going.

So much so that it doesn?t hurt as she swiftly peels off your armor, handing it away to a filing line of Warriors. It takes her mere minutes to strip you down to your Commissar outfit.
With a light push, she sinks you down into the bath. Yet again.

?So as long as I keep chucking, I can stay human? Better watch out girlie, I can puke my own weight much as a??

Tonya shoves you underwater, before pulling you back up.

Her face is now hard, her eyes boring right into your own.

?You will become one of us, there is simply no alternative. Delay as much as you wish, we are a patient group.?

You swallow hard, Tonya seeming to have changed in an instant.

?Only after, can we spend an eternity together.? She smiles.

Okay, maybe not.

Though you?ve got a band around your arm, locking your plasma gun and flamer in place, the Necrons made one crucial mistake.

They left your lasfinger alone. You know you will only get one shot at doing anything with it, and that means you might blow it too early or wait too long.

Shit.

You hate making calls like that.

Oak: ?This isn?t the time to use that!?

?Okay! Geeze!?

You decide to wait it out. There?s no telling if your steam idea would work or not anyways, and it?s too risky to blow the one thing you?ve got going for you right now on such a minute chance.

Instead, you simply sit inside the warm water, resting your back against the stone wall of the tub. Tonya hums a quiet song as she scrubs you.

If it wasn?t for her batshit personality, you wouldn?t necessarily mind her doing this.

?Soon enough you?ll be perfect.? She smiles, before continuing to hum.

Ahh but that personality?

Tonya lifts you out of the bath as easily as you would a child. You make a mental note to remember her strength. If it comes down to a test of raw power, you most certainly will lose.

?Now! Its time!? The Pariah exclaims excitedly, before wrapping you in a crimson cloak.

Into your right hand, she places a staff. Onto your head, some kind of Necron-styled headdress.

?Befitting of the lord you shall be.? She smiles.

?Great! So if it?s cool with you, I?ll just be a lord like this and ignore all the robo bits, thanks.?

Tonya giggles as though it were some kind of joke.

The stomping Immortals press from behind, leaving you little choice but to walk forwards. Though there are tunnels crossing left and right that you might be able to run into, the Immortals could gun you down before you ever got out of range.

?So why me?? You ask as the march continues.

?Hmm? Simple. You are you.? Tonya frowns.

?Well that makes about as much sense as I?d expected it to.?

The long walk finally stops in the center of a massive chamber. The ceiling must extend a thousand feet into the air, and the far wall would take you a solid fifteen minutes to reach.

?So this is it, then?? You ask, noticing what appears to be some kind of sarcophagus waiting for you.

?Yes. Here, Max, you shall ascend to the halls of immortality.?

?Hey, mind if I ask you one thing??

Tonya raises an eyebrow. Which makes you ponder as to why she HAS eyebrows, but you can?t let that distract you now.

?Do you mind if the others wait outside? If this has to happen, I?d like you to be the only one to see.?

You can feel your heart slamming against your ribcage, this might be your one chance at making some kind of a move here.

But first you have to get your pieces into position.

For a fleeting moment, you feel your heart sink as Tonya frowns.

Eternity slows to a standstill, time itself losing its own pace.
Until the Pariah nods.

?Very well.? She says quietly, before turning and ordering her honor guard to wait outside.

Now, you just have to try to flirt with her and get your inqui?

*click*

The sarcophagus opens up, and the mere sight of its interior causes your mind to blank. A wicked series of needles jut out at bizarre angles. Tubes snake through the interior, ending in nozzles and jets. That most certainly doesn?t look like a place you want to end up.

But what choice do you have? You know the lasfinger would be worthless against her from the front at least, and she could blast you in half with her staff pressing against your back as easy as anything.

?Hey, can we talk about this? Maybe think it through??

Tonya pushes you harder, nearer and nearer toward the horror construct.

?The time for talk can wait until after. We will have much time to talk.?

With a push, she places you into the sarcophagus. You have to scrunch up your body to avoid the needles. But as soon as that door closes, it will force them into you.

?Don?t worry,? Tonya says, noticing your expression, ?I love you.?

?I don?t love you.? Is all you reply as you close your eyes and wait for the terror to begin.

But for several moments, there is mere silence.

?But I? I?? Tonya?s face screws up as she stares at you.

?Come to think of it, can you really even call what you feel love? Can a circuit board love?? You ask bitterly.

?I? I can! I?m not a circuit board! I?m Tonya!? She turns away from you and crouches down, holding her temples as she shakes her head.

"Tonya..." You grunt. "You didn't even have a name until I gave you one."

"I love it though. It's me! I'm Tonya and I'll always be Tonya!"

Here, after all this, is the other opportunity you waited for. The lasgun in your finger might be small, but at this range, to the back of her head?

That would be that.

You can end it all, right here, right now.

?How can you even call it love?? You ask, your finger itching to let loose.

Tonya lowers herself to her side, curling up into a ball, still holding her head.

?Because its love. I? Somehow. Somehow I still know love.? She?s shaking now.

?Still??

?I wasn?t always like this. I know that, though my memories? I know I was different, once. Like you.? She looks back, tears in her eyes. It?s almost as if she was?

?Human.? She sniffs bitterly as she stares at you.

That certainly gives you pause.

?Yes, even I was human once.? She hides her face against the floor.

Gingerly, you step outside and away from the bizarre device she had stuck you in.

?I can only remember a little bit,? She continues, ?Only a little, and it was all so long ago now.?

?You weren?t always? You know? Robofied??

Tonya laughs once, a pained, forced sound.

?No. I used to be so pretty, so fragile? Now? Well, just look at me!? She exclaims, grabbing at her metallic body, a look of disgust adorning her features.

?But I held onto that fantasy of the little girl I was, that one day, I would find my prince.? Tonya sits up, facing you, her eyes hidden behind her bangs.

?So when I saw you? With all those other girls, I thought? I thought??

Tears are streaming down her cheeks now, and when she finally looks back up at you, it isn?t with the face of a cold metal warrior, but one of a scared girl.

?I thought that maybe, just maybe, you could love me too.?
You can?t help yourself. You chuckle a bit.

Tonya looks at you, her eyes flickering.

There?s no stopping it now, you let loose. Your laughter echoes through the chamber, filling it.

?You mean, this WHOLE time, you just wanted what those others had? Damn, girl, all you had to do was ASK!?

You reach down, extending a hand to her. Tonya looks at it, longingly, before gently placing her own inside it.

?That, and maybe not try to make me a Necron. Kind of cramps my style.?

---

And as you take her hand in your own, you extend one, hard finger.

The las shot rings out, its piercing chime.

Tonya's face is one of surprise, as the blast pierces her forehead. The metal of her skull melting as the shot bores through before zipping out the other side.

The hole smokes slightly, and you can see the charred remains of wires and circuits within it.

"Sorry bitch, but you went too far."

You put your boot on the dead Necron?s skull, and give it a shove. The robot body of the crazy Pariah clangs to the floor, perhaps a bit louder than you had planned on.

Immortals file into the room, each of them stopping to stare at you.

?Going to kill me, eh?? You ask, taking your best fighting stance.

?There?s just one problem for you.? You grin, and hold up a chair.

?I don?t want no troubbr.?

All at once the Immortals open up, gauss fire ripping past you as you run.

?FUS ROH DAHHHH!!!?

The mind attack hurls them backwards, and with everything you?ve still got, you leap over their heads. As you sail over, you crack one in the face with the chair.

?Dayum Jackie! This shit is WACK!? Chris yells as he runs alongside you, the towering Salamander looking panicked despite holding a flamer.

?I don?t want no troubbrrrruuu!!!?

Both of you sprint for the exit, preparing to fight your way through the horde of Necron warriors.

---

You help Tonya to her feet, and gently wipe the tears from her eyes. Though her exterior may be cold metal, you can sense a warm soul within.

?So? You don?t want to be??

?NO!? You tell her firmly, hoping she finally gets that point.

?But? If we don?t? What will happen when you finally??
You sigh, before patting her head.

?All mortals die, that is just how things work. I can?t tell you WHAT my future holds, because quite honestly I don?t know. But maybe, someday, I?ll figure out a way? To do something, like that.?

Tonya leans into you as you rub her hair.

?But that is a long ways off, and I still really like this body of mine.?

?Addition: Meatbag.?

?Hush, you.?

?You owe me some hard cash, I had a lot of money riding on you being robofied!?

?Both of you, just shut up, for now at least.? You sigh at your arm, which after a little bitching and ?Complaint:?, goes silent.

?I?m sorry. For everything.? Tonya says quietly, before reaching down to her? And pulling out hat-cha?

?Wat.?

She removes the Necron headdress, before replacing it with your beloved Commissar hat. The Pariah smiles faintly as she adjusts it.

?Well? That was? Anyways, can we get out of here? No offense but this Tomb gives me the creeps.?

?Sure. I?d go anywhere, as long as it?s with you.? Tonya hugs you around the middle, and despite everything she?s done, you can?t help but return the gesture.

The hug lasts as long as it needs to, for Tonya. You don?t let go until she does, finally, before looking up into your eyes with a smile.

?If you don?t mind, and I know it won?t be fun at all? But I?ve got a friend that I need to see. One last time.?

Tonya takes the picture that you offer her, and looks it over with a sad expression.

"I forgot what its like, to miss someone." She whispers, squeezing your hand.

You couldn't be aware, not then, of the price of a god.

The two of you emerge, at long last, out into the fresh air. You suck it in, filling your longing lungs with its sweet, sweet taste.

?I really, really don?t like that Tomb.? You groan, stretching your legs, now back in their armor. Tonya had it cleaned for you, and it shines like it never has before.

?It?s a bit? Dim, even for me.? She admits.

The gentleman that you are, you help her onto the back of the bike after swinging yourself onto it. The Pariah takes a moment to get comfortable, before grabbing you around the waist and holding tight. Too tight.

?Hurk? Uhh? T-Tonya?!? You gesture to your throat.

?Ah! Sorry! It?s just?? She glances down at the bike, then back at you, looking downright terrified.

?I?m not used to going fast, at all.?

?Well you?d better hold onto your panties? Do you???

?Want to? See them?? She asks, raising the skirt she had put on ever so slightly.

?Well I mean? But later! Just hold on tight, but don?t choke me out!?

With that you rev up the engine, and twist the throttle.
Even at the low speed you take, Tonya is panicking like you are moving at a million miles an hour. With every bounce she gasps, with every rock she ?eeep!?s.

You admit, you find it rather cute. But unfortunately for her, you?ve got your mind on something else at the moment.
Right now that letter in your pouch feels like it weighs as much as a Titan, as does the weight on your heart.

Your mother had told you once, when you were young, that everyone has their choices to make. For better or for worse, Eight had made his. You aren?t going to sully his memory by thinking he chose wrong. You just wish you had gotten a chance, just one, to really say goodbye.

Though it was a bit late, too late, you were going to tell him. You were going to tell him, and then take that envelope and bury it, in the black dirt of Catachan. You would do whatever it took to carry out that final wish, he deserved it.

----

I look out over a field of green. All seems surreal. I know none of this is reality. I know, and yet find myself at ease with that fact.

The shapes, the colors? Everything muted in a white haze. A washing white bloom that is almost too bright.

But despite everything, I feel something I haven?t perhaps ever felt, or maybe I simply can?t remember. Whole.

I walk through the vast expanse, eyes half lidded. I walk, and walk, and walk. This place seems endless, perhaps it is.
I crest a hill, and stop, my eyes opening wide now.

Two dark shapes stand in front of me, and though I can?t see their faces, I don?t have to. It?s been so long, but I know who it is that I see.

Will they understand? Will they take me back into their arms, will they finally bring me to peace? Or are they here to judge me? To berate me for a life of death, of murder and misdeed and ill fortune onto others?

I hesitate now, perhaps more than I ever have.

Until the figures raise their arms, welcoming me with the promise of a warm embrace I haven?t known for far too long a time.

?Home.? I whisper, though there is no sound in this place.
I start to run toward them, abandoning any remaining doubt. No, they aren?t here to force me to deal with my past. At long last, I?ve found what I?ve been yearning for most of my remembered existence.

Nearer and nearer I draw, and I can?t help myself as I shed tears. I have so much to tell them, I want them to listen, to hear how I?ve missed them both.

I know they will listen. I know they will finally bring me to a much needed rest.

A faint, dark blotch in front of me. My elation falters as I see it, it looks so out of place here?

A void begins to open in front of me. Dark and evil, like the gullet of a terrible beast. Howling winds the only sound, as though a slew of angry Daemons clawing at me.

Shocked, I skid to a stop, putting up my arms to shield my face from the wind. The black chasm only continues to grow, and I watch in terror as the figures on the far side slowly begin to drift away, still standing on the far side.

?No!? I shout, and in a last ditch attempt, I jump.

Far. Too far. I can?t make it.

My fingers reach out longingly, aching to feel the far side. But to no avail. Falling, down and down, tumbling into the darkness.

A long, ragged breath.

A forest alive again with the sound of morning, dew clinging to all.

?No.? I whisper up at the canopy above.

I can feel the life in my bones, no pain present in my side. Cold. I feel cold again.

I hate it. I hate it more than I?ve ever hated anything.

?I don?t want this.

My hand reaches out, searching, until I find it. A cruel piece of steel, an instrument of my deeds.

I?ll go back. Back to that place. Back to the promise it held.
Cold metal against my temple, like a kiss of death. I?ll go back?

*click*

The Expitus pistol falls from my hand as my head sinks and my knees rise to meet it.

Why.

Why can I never have what I want, why is every choice made for me?

?Because this isn?t your story, not yet.? A melodious voice reaches through the branches, skirting the trees until it graces my ears.

Footsteps crunch leaves underfoot as someone, or something, approaches. I don?t care at this point. Hopefully whatever it is will just send me back. I want to talk to them again, I want to?

?Surely you don?t think that vision was real? Do you??

?Real enough.? I clutch my side. The blood is dry now, and the hole is gone.

?You?re a peculiar one, aren?t you?? Whatever it is asks, now standing over me. I don?t even bother to look up.

?Is it too much to ask, for all of this to just be over? I died for something, I died the best way I could have. At least? At least give me that.?

?Hmm? Sorry, but that isn?t my place. No, Eight, we can?t turn back time, not now.?

I sit up, reaching around, looking for something else now. I find it, and slowly place one in my lips. A flick of the lighter, and I draw in.

?Just who are you?? I finally look over, nothing can shock me now.

A beautiful girl. Well, that I hadn?t expected. Though not a girl, but rather?

?Daemon?? I frown.

The girl with a light blue hue smiles, brushing aside a feather that falls into her face as she sits down next to me.

?That?s right.? She nods, brushing out her dress of leaves.

?Why?? I ask simply, though really that question carries all the weight of anything else I could have asked at that moment.

?Because your friend made a deal.? She replies with a smile, and a twinkle in her soft hazel eyes.

The cigarette falls out of my lips, I?ve forgotten about it.
?Max? Did??

The girl nods, reaching out and picking up the still glowing cig, which she places back.

?That?s right. A deal with my mother.?

A well of intense anger, which quickly subsides. Max may not think anything through, he may not look two steps ahead, but if there?s anything I know about him, it?s that he wouldn?t do something like this on purpose? That doesn?t make me feel any better.

?She tricked him.? I state.

The girl smiles, perhaps sadly, as she places a hand on my shoulder.

?Not a difficult thing.?

?Perhaps not. Before this goes any further, I?m going to let you know, I won?t be a pawn in any kind of game. I won?t be??

?Used??

I open my mouth to reply, but think better of it and close it shut. I only give her a hard stare in return.

?Well, I expected that, or rather, we did. We certainly aren?t playing fair, are we?? She giggles, rubbing my arm.

?Fair. Hah.? I shrug her off and let myself back onto the ground, still stained in my own blood.

?What is ever fair.?

The Daemon lies back alongside me, looking deep in thought.
?Nothing is ever fair, I suppose.?

She stops for a moment, and I know she?s looking over at me, but I won?t give her the satisfaction of looking back. I want her to know that it wasn?t my choice to come back here, that if it had been up to me, I would have stayed dead.

?Well, we knew you would be like this. Which is why we thought to offer you something else in return for your help.?

I snort mockingly at her words.

The girl sighs, before sitting up. She pulls my head over onto her lap, though I struggle. I know she?s using some kind of warp trick, whatever you can even call something like that. With two fingers, she gingerly plucks the cigarette out of my mouth.

?Gee, how persuasive. Just let me??

Lips.

This is? I don?t even know?

The wind blows through the forest as she sits back up, a faint smile gracing those lips that just were... On my...

?Rest now, you?re going to need it.?

Hah, rest. As though I could sleep. As if I could?

Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Tzeentch's only daughter, between Lilith and Kaleshi in age

"Dohohohoho!!!!"

"Ara ara~"

"Hahaha!"

The blue tzeentchette starts, and does her best to turn quickly without awakening the sleeping Vindicare.

Her three sisters are all standing there, giving her a knowing and evil grin.

"Hey hey Niut, what was that, just now?" Kaleshi teases, knowing full well how to push her younger sister's buttons.

"N-nothing!" Niut snaps.

"Hmmm? Was it good, I never expected to see your first..." Nyx takes over, grinning behind her hand.

"I-it... J-just as planned!" Niut shouts, before warping out, Assassin in tow.

----

You look down at the envelope as you ride, thinking to yourself. Though you do want to open it, it just doesn't feel right.

Feel.

With a startled yelp, you slam the brakes and the bike skids sideways, you can barely keep it up.

Tonya is screaming.

You, are screaming.

After skidding for a good few hundred yards, the bike finally tilts over and you put your foot down to stop it. Your chest is heaving fast as you breath rapidly.

"What was that just now!?" Tonya yells, clearly shaken up, and clutching onto you harder than ever.

"I don't know." You state simply, blinking rapidly as you try to clear your head.

You DON'T know, really. There was some kind of spike in energy and you could feel it, in your BRAIN.

In your experience, that is rarely, if ever, a good thing.

An experience proven wrong as a warp hole opens in front of you.

And out steps... Out steps...

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER, WAS THIS ALL SOME KIND OF JOKE WITH THE ELDAR?!" You berate Eight even as you down a handful of bear leaves to give him the biggest hug of his life.

"No, I really did... Did you just..."

You can only respond with a roar.

"What just happened, whats going on?!" Tonya yells, entirely confused.

Eight hesitates, but only for a moment, before snatching the pouch off of your belt.

"Wait, what are you...!?"

"Trust me, this is the only way!" Eight yells, even as he stuffs his own mouth full and crunches down.

"Max this is.... ROOAAARRRRR!!!"

"ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!" You bellow back at your bear comrade. In the land of bears, fierce mountain bears rarely can bear with another bear, but you can bear with this one, if only bearly.

Another warp hole, and both the startled Tzeentchette and Pariah turn toward it.

"NOW THIS IS MY KIND OF PARTY!" Doomrider grins as he surveys his surroundings, watching Max and Eight roaring and clawing at various things. He pulls out something from his belt, a mad cackling laugh following.

"HERE, EAT THESE!" He chucks the two things out, and Max and Eight, both bears, devour them whole.

"What was... What are... What did you give them?!" Tonya asks, not knowing what the fuck is going on.

"OH NOTHING, JUST A LITTLE ICE!" Doomrider can't contain himself, and shovels a literal shovel full of assorted substances into his mouth.

"I-ice?" Niut asks nervously, still a bit upset at being caught by her sisters.

A drop pod falls from the sky, slamming into the dirt with a force that shakes the very earth around it.

Darkhammer bursts forth, grinning as he strolls.

"Ha ha, time for bear leaves!"

Four bears. Four glorious, terrifying bears.

They bound across the desolate snowlands of the north, headed toward the great castle beyond, a dark place nestled in the mountains of the lost kingdom.

"ROAAARRR!!!" Eight says.

"ROAR ROAR ROOOARR!" Max agrees.

They all steel their bearnerves for what is to come, the finality, the greatest fight of all time.

The battle that will end the world.

Burgundy awaits, high upon his wizard tower, brushing his crown of rainbow furs out of his face.

"So, it begins." He says quietly, watching the approaching bears as they charge up the icy hill.

Only he is rendered momentarily speechless, shocked to silence, as the bears rise up.

And put on ice skates.

"Hah, so you've come to face me at long last, have you?!" Burgundy shouts from upon his tower of compensation.

"ROAAARRRR!!!" Darkhammer exclaims, slashing to a halt alongside his brothers.

"ADFAJSDLF;ASDFSDFASDFAJDAJG;SJD!!!!" Doomrider agrees.

The other bears look over at him, at his spinning eyes of color and his mat of ever changing fur.

Doomrider shrugs.

"Well, you'll find me no easy opponent!" Ron shouts, as he activates his jet pack.

Eight raises his arms, and uses his rapid fire claw attack. The sharp black hooks sailing through the air, coming close to Burgundy, though the wizard dodges expertly.

"ROOOOAAAAAAARRRR!" Max bellows as he increases speed, heading right toward a jagged jut of ice. With deft expertise, he launches himself into the sky, paw raised for attack.

"Aha! A brilliant attack!" Ron laughs, before juking around at the last moment.

"Now, things are really heating up, its really getting out of hand fast. And you know what that means." The dark wizard grins his terrible grin.

"ROOAARRR!!!!" Darkhammer yells in warning, but too late.

They are powerless to stop Burgundy as he raises his lips to the conch shell, and blows hard. The resounding noise causes avalanches across the mountain range, and resonates across the world.

"NEWS TEAM, ASSEEMMBBBLLLEEEEEE!!!!"

Max lands, whirling around in shock. If Burgundy summons his news team, there's no stopping his evil.

"ROAAAARRRRRRR!!!!" Max shouts in anger, attacking again and again. Each time, the wizard throws up another shield of rainbows.

Doomrider knows its no use, already he can see the four riders of doom approaching.

"IVE GOT A GRENNAADDDEEEE!!!" One of them shrieks, sitting so he's faced toward the ass end of the horse.

"ROOARRR?!" Eight shouts.

"ROAR!" Max agrees quickly. If there is any chance of winning, they are going to have to use THAT.

Darkhammer dodges a charging stampede of nefarious black panthers, dropping several with his HAMMMER CLAWS.

There's no time, there simply isn't...!!!!

"ROOOOAR!" Max shouts, causing all the other bears to look upwards.

A glorious, golden bear descends from the heavens, paws outstretched.

The world stops at a standstill as he lands, resuming when he opens his eyes.

"ROOAR! Dudes!" He roars, with a grin.

"ROAR!" Max shouts, bearfisting the Emperbear.

"ROAR Bear!" He returns with a grin.

They all know its time, those five bears of fate. Time, at long last, to put an end to all that is Ron Burgundy.

"ROAR!" They all shout in unison.

And with that, bear gattai.

The five bears all leap into the air, spinning around in a circle of furious snow, ice, and alcohol. Even the dark wizard himself steps back in shock at the sight.

"Odin's raven! They are really doing it!" He exclaims as he watches.

Sure enough, the bearazord lands with a deafening boom, before rising off of it's knee and punching its paw.

"You bear, we heard you like to bear so we put a bear in yo bear so you can bear while you bear!" Xzibit yells with a thumbs up.

"ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" The bearazord yells, before assuming a fighting stance.

"Oh yeah, lets dance. News team! BEARFIGHT!" Burgundy yells as he summons a lance of pure ego and hits his jetpack thrusters.

The four knights of the apocalypse charge as well, and the bearazord rushes toward them.

Again and again they clash, trading blows, each feeling the pain of battle.

"ROOAAR! Dudes, ROAAARRR!!!" The Emperor of Bearkind exclaims.

"ROAR!" Max nods, turning back as the wizard and his minions all charge at once.

"ROOAR ROOAR, ROAR ROOAR, ROAR ROAAR, ROAR ROOAR ROAR ROAR ROAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" Max roars as he leaps, drawing back his paw into a fist and then punching outwards.

"I'm in a glass box of emmooottioooonnn!!!!" Burgundy howls as the bearing finger slams into his wave of forces.

A massive struggle, the power alone causing great crags in the earth to split open and the seas to swell. Each side vying to push back the other.

With a final "ROOOAAAAAARRRR!" The bearazord emerges victorious.

"Jazz fluuutttttttt.....!!!" Burgundy shouts, one last hurrah in the face of his own demise.

The burning bear fist obliterates the dark wizard, and his four horsemen, and the world can again know peace from this evil.

***

The two girls stand, watching in utter amazement at the sight.

Even the Emperor of Mankind himself had teleported in, stuffed his own mouth full, and joined into the fray.

They had watched, quite lost for words, as the boys went at it.

Again and again, they would roar to each other. Again and again, they would lash out in attack, or fall back in injury.

But there was no denying, that at the end of the day, they had emerged victorious. Though only after forming some kind of... Thing, as they each clamped onto one of the Emperor's limbs and Eight on his back where he made "pew pew" noises with his fingers outstretched.

"Wow, they really gave those things a thrashing."

"Yeah, poor shrubbery never stood a chance." Tonya agrees, before frowning.

"Ni!" She adds.

"Huh?" Niut turns to the necron, quite puzzled.

"I... I don't know why I said that..." Tonya says with a deep, lost frown.