Until Death Do Us Part 189 AC’s proof

I hope this is easier to read.  I’m sorry if I am taking a lot of liberties.  I really don’t mean to.  I’m just trying to change the things that I find hard to understand and if I inadvertently change a meaning of a translation, I didn’t mean to.  It is just I don’t know what the literal translations are and I assumed that what I’ve changed didn’t change the meaning.

O:  Original
C:  Should change
S:  Suggestion

Page 51

O:  I made a ton so, if it suits your tastes, please help yourselves to as much as you wish!
C:  I made a ton, so if it suits your tastes, please help yourselves to as much as you wish!
S1:  If it suits your tastes, please help yourselves to as much as you wish!  I made a ton.
S2:  I made a ton.  If it suits your tastes, please help yourselves to as much as you wish!

Page 55

O:  …I won’t beat her by talking...
S1:  …I won’t win with talk…
S2:  …I can’t win by talking…

Page 56

O:  …I totally didn’t expect nobody to be here…
C:  …I totally didn’t expect anybody to be here…

O:  I’d figure they wouldn’t leave behind an old truck that seems like it still runs?
C:  I’d figured they wouldn’t leave behind an old truck that looks like it still works.

O:  It’s treasure for this area.
S:  It’s a treasure for this area.

O:  But, almost half of the houses here haven’t been tended to…
C1:  But almost half of the houses here haven’t been tended to…
C2:  But…almost half of the houses here haven’t been tended to…

Page 57

O:  The roofs they built are falling down.
S1:  The roofs are falling down.
S2:  The roofs that were built are falling down.

O:  No doubt, there seems to be a reason for why it’s depopulating.
S:  No doubt there’s a reason for the depopulation.

Page 58

O:  Tourists again in a place like this?
C:  Tourists again, in a place like this?

O:  You don’t say!  I was thinking I’d go peddling from here out, but…
S:  You don’t say!  I was thinking of peddling around here, but…

O:  If this vicinity has the essentials already, I think I’ll just inquire for a later time then!
S:  If this area has the essentials already, I think I’ll just inquire at a later time!
{At least change it to “at a later time.”}

O:  In this vicinity, since Galboan soldiers took away every single man for facilities contruction or something, there’s nobody here.
C:  Since Galboan soldiers have taken away every single man, for facilities construction in this region, there’s nobody here.

O:  It won’t become a marketplace.
S1:  It’s not going to be a marketplace.
S2:  It’s no marketplace.

O:  There’s a plateau at the other side of that mountain.
C:  There’s a plateau on the other side of that mountain.

It seems there is large-scale construction being done there.
{This line sounds kind of weird.}

Page 59

O:  I heard that, of the people in the neighbourhood, practically all of the men who could work had been taken away.
C:  I’ve heard that practically all the men, who could work in the neighbourhood, were taken away.

Although they wanted to resist, with Gido-sama in charge, nobody could defy them.
{The “them” becomes unclear and ambiguous here, so far away from what it is referring to.}

Page 60

O:  If our entire country remains in Galboa’s clutches like it is now,
C:  If our entire country remains in Galboa’s clutches, like it is now,

Page 61

O:  But, that would mean we would be rebelling against Zasid-sama!
C1:  But that would mean we would be rebelling against Zasid-sama!
C2:  But…that would mean we would be rebelling against Zasid-sama!

O:  Edge-sama has plans that, if the revolution is successful, he will welcome Zasid-sama as a ruler!
C:  If the revolution is successful, then Edge-sama plans to welcome Zasid-sama as ruler!
{If Zasid-sama will be the only ruler, there is no need to add an “a.”}

O:  Means he stood for our sake!!
S1:  Means he stood up for our sake!!
S2:  Means he fought for our sake!!

Page 62

O:  Whose proposal was that speech just now?!
S:  Whose idea was it to give that speech just now?!

O:  What are you inspiring into the citizens, and what are you scheming?!
S:  What are you inciting the citizens into and what are you scheming at?!

Page 63

O:  I was just asked to by the village!
S:  I was just asked to by someone from the village!

O:  By who?!
S:  Who?!

O:  What about you, Sis’?  And who are you?
C:  What about you, Sis’?  Who are you?

Page 64

O:  …What was that just now?!
S:  …What happened just now?!

Page 65

O:  Your tactics won’t reach me.
S1:  Your tactics can’t reach me.
S2:  Your tactics won’t work on me.

O:  That is, a reunion on these lands with a traitor who quickly abandoned the country and fled!
S:  A reunion here with a traitor who abandoned his country and fled!

O:  Me coming back was to gather intel and to fulfill another duty!
C:  My coming back was to gather intel and to fulfill another duty!
{Or something that sounds less weird}

O:  How could you perceive how much frustration we had to go through and continue enduring while we were under Genie?!
S:  How could you perceive how much frustration we had to go through and had to continue to endure, while we were under Genie?!

Page 66

O:  You can die on the soil of your own motherland.  Quite considerate being the end of the road for a traitor, don’t ‘cha think?
S:  That you can die on the soil of your motherland is quite considerate for a traitor’s end, don’t ‘cha think?

Page 67

O:  However, you can’t expect us to always be at the same capacity, you know.
S:  However, you can’t expect us to always be at the same skill level, you know.

Page 68

O:  …Looks like you’ve considerably improved…
S:  …Looks like you’ve improved considerably…

O:  I asked about the secret from someone who couldn’t see with their eyes.
S:  I asked about the secret from someone who couldn’t see with his eyes.

… “Cast away the necessary time a little more gently.”…
{I’m not going to touch this one because I have no problem with it (Yoda talk), but…}

Page 69

O:  “It’s not about cutting the wind, it’s about letting it ride in it.”
C:  “It’s not about cutting the wind.  It’s about letting it ride in it.”

Sounds become difficult to emit as well, which makes it difficult for the enemy to receive.
{Receive sounds kind of strange.}

O:  And, I studied the method of devising capture strategies from a powerful foe!
S:  And…I’ve studied the method of devising strategies to capture powerful foes!
{If you don’t want to change the rest of the sentence, then just take away the comma after and.}

Page 73

O:  it wouldn’t result in a fatal wound.
S:  it wouldn’t have resulted in a fatal wound.

O:  Depending on how you reply, I’ll really have you killed.
S1:  Depending on how you reply, I’ll really have to kill you.
S2:  Depending on how you reply, I just might have to kill you.