End My Life
Shinji was desperately trying to hold back his tears in front of Kaworu. Facing his back towards him, huddling on the far side of the bed, he felt microscopic to the other boy’s glare. His complete emasculation in front of another boy. His self-pity outweighing the grief of his mass genocide.  He swallowed down his sniffles, gasping for air as he felt the psychological burden of his actions suck the blood out of his heart.
Suddenly, he felt the creak of the bed springs behind him and gentle hands brushing against his neck. Kaworu effortlessly popped the DSS choker off of the other boy, snapping him out of his regression. Shinji jerked his torso to face Kaworu, who was sat confidently on his knees behind him. Kaworu’s smile shown his brightest love for him, his precious boy, as he sealed the choker around his own neck.
‘beep’
“But, Kaworu-kun!”, Shinji squeezes his arms around himself, holding back his frantic urge to latch onto Kaworu and keep him close to himself until the angel would realize that he was worth nothing compared to his beautiful, unbelievably perfect existence.
Kaworu touched his larynx, “I’ll carry the burden of your sin…”
“What you need more than anything right now is peace and atonement.”
All doubt faded out through Shinji’s tears, Kaworu had shown to Shinji the legitimacy of his bleeding heart.
“Together, we can become the hope of the lilin”.
Shinji couldn’t hear the words of praise spill out of his mouth, but he felt the soft gasps involuntarily escape from his lips as he fell under the spell of the angel’s ruby eyes.
“…Wow. You’re amazing. You know everything”.
“That’s because you’re the only thing I ever think about”.
The space between them shrunk each them they found themselves unable to produce any words beyond whispering the other’s given name. The widening of each other’s pupils was the last thing they could notice before the magnetic pull of their lips overwhelmed their sensibilities.
Shinji first time was just a few weeks ago. They could only restrain themselves for a few days until Kaworu finally took Shinji under the starry sky. Shinji’s gentle presence overwhelmed him and Kaworu was unable to pretend that the flickering stars could hold his attention away from the boy he had so patiently waited to meet again. Shinji appeared to grow more incredibly golden, breathtakingly adorable in each new loop. Since they embraced each other, they had been playing, teasing, experiencing each other relentlessly from sunrise to sunset.