who is ash's dad

Ash is a ditto who was made by mixing Lugia, Ho-oh, Mew and Arceus together, and then transformed into a girl to be impregnated by Professors Oak and Birch, as well as Aaron, Giovanni, Riley, Rick Astley, Hitler, Cyrus, Winston Churchhill, Pikachu and Lance, and then gave birth to himself, went back in time to become every human every born, then gave birth to Latias, who he later impregnated with himself, and the fetus was an adoption agency through which Ash was adopted, as well as Brock and Misty, and grew up to be a red Nurse Joy. And by the way, he is also the Pokemon universe's equivalent of atoms.